KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:45:54 AM

Title: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:45:54 AM
My Intro From KTC Archives
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/this-time-is-for-real-t8508.html
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:48:39 AM
July 23rd, 2014, 9:10 pm #2
Quote from: Candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through. It is usually a stressful event or situation that I go running for a tin. I know that I am addicted to the oral part of this habit. I can not stand chewing gum so I find it hard to find something to replace the sensation. I have tried life savers (wintergreen) to replicate the taste and feel, but I end up chewing them and go through a bag in about 3 hours. Any tips and support in this area would be great.

I have been using on and off since college. I ALWAYS fall off.... But I need this to be different for me and my relationship. I want to prove that I can do it to myself and my wife.

Thanks
Worktowin -
You are an addict. To a substance as addictive as heroin.

You can chew sequoia trees or a turkey leg, but the hard fact is that the first few days - about 3 - are flat out hell. You are going through withdrawal of a powerful neurotoxin. Here is done good news... You do not NEED nicotine to live. Your brain will try to trick you into thinking that you do... But the only thing nicotine helps is taking away the withdrawal of not using nicotine. One more thing... Yeah it blows at first, but you'll only go thru it once.

Here we quit one day at a time. Today you quit for today. You put your name on the October roll and by god you keep your word. You do not let yourself or your brothers down. You don't have regret about yesterday, or worry about tomorrow. Your brothers (and a sister or 2) will support you just as you support them. You can go this bud. If I can, you sure as hell can.

Your wife loves you. She cares. But you will have to quit because you want to and are ready to quit. If I can help, don't hesitate to let me know.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:51:03 AM
July 23rd, 2014, 9:16 pm #3 by Rebel346
This is a great place to start but you better get some more confidence.

There are tons of things you can try, sunflower seeds, herbal fake snuff (see the reviews on the site), carrots, celery, suckers, whatever. Just don't put that friggin poison in your mouth again.

You need it to be different this time, then make it different! Did you print and read the contract??? If you did then that should be pretty damned sufficient to help you make this quit different.

Check your pm's
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:51:38 AM
 July 23rd, 2014, 9:16 pm #4 - Brian85
Agree with a lot of what was said. Quit for yourself. Quit with the titans. Post roll daily don't give up. Come here for support when needed. Get some phone numbers. Get kakao and join the group its usually pretty quick to getting support. You can do this just as I am. I believe in you. There is a bumpy road ahead fortunately you have brothers and sisters to lean on to get you through these times.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:52:31 AM
July 23rd, 2014, 9:20 pm #5 - Menace
Candoit,

You need to first get your mind right with this quit. You can't do this for anyone but yourself. A side benefit is that it also benefits your family and friends but you quit for you period! This will suck until it doesn't! That is the price you pay for your addiction. We are all addicts, we have all been through this shit. You follow the KTC regimen and you will be quit for good because it is fool proof. (I am proof of that) Post roll, keep your promise to stay nicotine free for 24 hours and do it the next morning. If you are a man of your word it can't fail. Welcome to the Asylum!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:53:02 AM
July 24th, 2014, 10:59 am #6 - Erussel
Can do it,
I love that name....... Like w2w said above if We can you can. I was once just like you, trying to quit and happened up on this site. I too made an intro that resonated more hope than confidence. As rebel said you need to increase your confidence, and I see you've done just that. Posting role just made the day fool proof for you if you are a man of your word and I am sure that you are. Way to go committing yourself to a better life ODAAT. Your a bad ass now so hold on and enjoy the ride. Try like hell to remember every bit of this pain and agony, one day it will be a good reminder. Post in this thread often to keep a good log. There are some strong quitters in your group such as lim (he and I post together every day) reach out to some of them and join the brotherhood. I quit with you.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:53:34 AM
 July 24th, 2014, 11:09 am #7 - AppleJack
Welcome in bro...
Some real badass quitters have chimed in here... Guys who I respect the hell out of. They've said it all really. The only thing I want to add is this... Own it. You're here... You're doing it.

Wrap your head around your addiction... It's not a habit. You're addicted to one of the most powerful and insidious drugs in the world... I am too. Soak that up because as soon as you fully grasp that idea you will understand that there is NO going back.

Own it.
Freedom is the payoff...
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:54:35 AM
July 24th, 2014, 11:40 am #8 Breadherring
Quote from: Candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through.
Welcome, candoit.

As others have said, you can't do this for someone else. You have to want to quit because YOU want to quit.

Doing it for your wife will get you through the first 12-24 hours, but on about day two or three when her immediate anger has worn off, you'll realize you don't have to actually BE quit, you just have to make her THINK you're quit. And I can tell you from experience, hiding dipping is a lot easier than quitting dipping.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 10:57:01 AM
July 24th, 2014, 11:49 am #9 - Thumblewort
Quote from: breadherring
Quote from: Candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through.
Welcome, candoit.

As others have said, you can't do this for someone else. You have to want to quit because YOU want to quit.

Doing it for your wife will get you through the first 12-24 hours, but on about day two or three when her immediate anger has worn off, you'll realize you don't have to actually BE quit, you just have to make her THINK you're quit. And I can tell you from experience, hiding dipping is a lot easier than quitting dipping.

Some advice from someone who's been there: involve your wife in your quit and talk to her about what you're feeling. When I first quit, I thought my wife would be mad if she knew I was struggling, so I just avoided the topic entirely. That's the wrong approach. You need support here AND in real life.
QFT ^^^^. I lied to my wife the most regarding chewing - I'll quit tomorrow, on my birthday. on her birthday, etc. - so why would I get her support? Instead, I talked to her every day the first 2 months until things started to be normal again, and support or no, it helped a bunch. She knew I wasn't dipping, and that's all that mattered to me.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:00:56 AM
July 24th, 2014, 12:03 pm #10 - Breadherring
Quote from: Thumblewort
QFT ^^^^. I lied to my wife the most regarding chewing - I'll quit tomorrow, on my birthday. on her birthday, etc. - so why would I get her support? Instead I talked to her every day the first 2 months until things started to be normal again, and support or no, it helped a bunch. She knew I wasn't dipping, and that's all that mattered to me.
If nothing else, it will help explain why you're more irritable than normal while you're going through the withdrawal. When I finally told my wife about my quit, the first thing she said was, "So that's why you were such an asshole all last week..."
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:33:56 AM
July 24th, 2014, 12:57 pm #11 - B-LoMatt
Great choice to quit. The above bad ass quitters have laid it out for you. Own your quit! You have the power. Read everything on KTC and learn the plan, then live the plan. KTC style quit works. You most certainly can do it! Reach out to any of us if you need anything.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:51:47 AM
 July 26th, 2014, 5:44 am #12 -Erussel

Day 4 today. The nicotine should be out of your body and now it's mind games. I saw a post you made in October and found it to be profound enough it should go in your thread to remind you how bad you want to be quit and just how much you hate this addition, later down the road. It was in reference to rdad's post of day 1.


( candoit's words to rdad)
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:53:01 AM
July 26th, 2014, 8:11 am #13 - B-Lo Matt
Sounds like you are owning it!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:54:54 AM
August 6th, 2014, 7:00 pm #14 - Candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, at which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking a pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in athletics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egotistical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patches , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheerleading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preach, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivicAugust 6th, 2014, 7:00 pm #14
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone", but more importantly they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not accept failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogant, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and it's not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to support a newbie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our lifelong battle together.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:56:04 AM
August 6th, 2014, 7:20 pm #16 - Smeds
Quote from: Candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2018, 11:58:49 AM
August 6th, 2014, 8:13 pm #17 - Done4me
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: Candoit

Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on February 10, 2019, 09:04:17 AM
Quit For You
You quit for you. You came here for a way to quit and the brotherhood showed you the way. You always need to be selfish and quit for you.

Quit With Your Brothers
The brotherhood is what makes this real. This is the lifeblood of KTC, with out this KTC doesn't exist. Brotherhood is created by interaction and our willingness to be held accountable. The size of your brotherhood is not bound by anyone but yourself.

Quit Because It Matters
This is life or death. If you don't think it is, your in the wrong place. Posting roll, matters, it is why you came here in the first place, to quit.

QFYQWYBQBIM
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on February 10, 2019, 06:20:11 PM
From May 2019...
If your not making zeros your not Quitting.......

Always love the zeros but not as much as I like seeing your promise tomorrow.

Tomorrow becomes today. Today is the foundation for what will come tomorrow. Today is when I practice keeping my word and hone my skills to be quit, for today. For when today becomes yesterday, there is nothing more I can do to make it the best I could. Yet what was tomorrow, is now today and I can make it better than yesterday.

For each day that I remain quit and as my day count increases, I always remember that I am a step away from who I was and a step closer to who I am becoming.

The promise is what you choose it to be. It only carries weight if you let it. Remember that everything you do is a choice. Are you willing to live with the consequences of that choice?
Title: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 23, 2014, 08:53:00 PM
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through. It is usually a stressful event or situation that I go running for a tin. I know that I am addicted to the oral part of this habit. I can not stand chewing gum so I find it hard to find something to replace the sensation. I have tried life savers (wintergreen) to replicate the taste and feel, but I end up chewing them and go through a bag in about 3 hours. Any tips and support in this area would be great.

I have been using on and off since college. I ALWAYS fall off.... But I need this to be different for me and my relationship. I want to prove that I can do it to myself and my wife.

Thanks
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on July 23, 2014, 09:10:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through. It is usually a stressful event or situation that I go running for a tin. I know that I am addicted to the oral part of this habit. I can not stand chewing gum so I find it hard to find something to replace the sensation. I have tried life savers (wintergreen) to replicate the taste and feel, but I end up chewing them and go through a bag in about 3 hours. Any tips and support in this area would be great.

I have been using on and off since college. I ALWAYS fall off.... But I need this to be different for me and my relationship. I want to prove that I can do it to myself and my wife.

Thanks
You are an addict. To a substance as addictive as heroin.

You can chew sequoia trees or a turkey leg, but the hard fact is that the first few days - about 3 - are flat out hell. You are going through withdrawal of a powerful neurotoxin. Here is done good news... You do not NEED nicotine to live. Your brain will try to trick you into thinking that you do... But the only thing nicotine helps is taking away the withdrawal of not using nicotine. One more thing... Yeah it blows at first, but you'll only go thru it once.

Here we quit one day at a time. Today you quit for today. You put your name on the October roll and by god you keep your word. You do not let yourself or your brothers down. You don't have regret about yesterday, or worry about tomorrow. Your brothers (and a sister or 2) will support you just as you support them. You can go this bud. If I can, you sure as hell can.

Your wife loves you. She cares. But you will have to quit because you want to and are ready to quit. If I can help, don't hesitate to let me know.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rebel346 on July 23, 2014, 09:16:00 PM
This is a great place to start but you better get some more confidence.

There are tons of things you can try, sunflower seeds, herbal fake snuff (see the reviews on the site), carrots, celery, suckers, whatever. Just don't put that friggin poison in your mouth again.

You need it to be different this time, then make it different! Did you print and read the contract??? If you did then that should be pretty damned sufficient to help you make this quit different.

Check your pm's
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Brian85 on July 23, 2014, 09:16:00 PM
Agree with a lot of what was said. Quit for yourself. Quit with the titans. Post roll daily don't give up. Come here for support when needed. Get some phone numbers. Get kakao and join the group its usually pretty quick to getting support. You can do this just as I am. I believe in you. There is a bumpy road ahead fortunately you have brothers and sisters to lean on to get you through these times.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Menace on July 23, 2014, 09:20:00 PM
Candoit,

You need to first get your mind right with this quit. You can't do this for anyone but yourself. A side benefit is that it also benefits your family and friends but you quit for you period! This will suck until it doesn't! That is the price you pay for your addiction. We are all addicts, we have all been through this shit. You follow the KTC regimen and you will be quit for good because it is fool proof. (I am proof of that) Post roll, keep your promise to stay nicotine free for 24 hours and do it the next morning. If you are a man of your word it can't fail. Welcome to the Asylum!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Erussell on July 24, 2014, 10:59:00 AM
Can do it,
I love that name....... Like w2w said above if We can you can. I was once just like you, trying to quit and happened up on this site. I too made an intro that resonated more hope than confidence. As rebel said you need to increase your confidence, and I see you've done just that. Posting role just made the day fool proof for you if you are a man of your word and I am sure that you are. Way to go committing yourself to a better life ODAAT. Your a bad ass now so hold on and enjoy the ride. Try like hell to remember every bit of this pain and agony, one day it will be a good reminder. Post in this thread often to keep a good log. There are some strong quitters in your group such as lim (he and I post together every day) reach out to some of them and join the brotherhood. I quit with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: AppleJack on July 24, 2014, 11:09:00 AM
Welcome in bro...
Some real badass quitters have chimed in here... Guys who I respect the hell out of. They've said it all really. The only thing I want to add is this... Own it. You're here... You're doing it.

Wrap your head around your addiction... It's not a habit. You're addicted to one of the most powerful and insidious drugs in the world... I am too. Soak that up because as soon as you fully grasp that idea you will understand that there is NO going back.

Own it.
Freedom is the payoff...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: breadherring on July 24, 2014, 11:40:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through.
Welcome, candoit.

As others have said, you can't do this for someone else. You have to want to quit because YOU want to quit.

Doing it for your wife will get you through the first 12-24 hours, but on about day two or three when her immediate anger has worn off, you'll realize you don't have to actually BE quit, you just have to make her THINK you're quit. And I can tell you from experience, hiding dipping is a lot easier than quitting dipping.

Some advice from someone who's been there: involve your wife in your quit and talk to her about what you're feeling. When I first quit, I thought my wife would be mad if she knew I was struggling, so I just avoided the topic entirely. That's the wrong approach. You need support here AND in real life.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on July 24, 2014, 11:49:00 AM
Quote from: breadherring
Quote from: candoit
I was confronted by my wife this morning. And I have been thinking of quitting, but I find that I can not find the will power to follow through.
Welcome, candoit.

As others have said, you can't do this for someone else. You have to want to quit because YOU want to quit.

Doing it for your wife will get you through the first 12-24 hours, but on about day two or three when her immediate anger has worn off, you'll realize you don't have to actually BE quit, you just have to make her THINK you're quit. And I can tell you from experience, hiding dipping is a lot easier than quitting dipping.

Some advice from someone who's been there: involve your wife in your quit and talk to her about what you're feeling. When I first quit, I thought my wife would be mad if she knew I was struggling, so I just avoided the topic entirely. That's the wrong approach. You need support here AND in real life.
QFT ^^^^. I lied to my wife the most regarding chewing - I'll quit tomorrow, on my birthday. on her birthday, etc. - so why would I get her support? Instead I talked to her every day the first 2 months until things started to be normal again, and support or no, it helped a bunch. She knew I wasn't dipping, and that's all that mattered to me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: breadherring on July 24, 2014, 12:03:00 PM
Quote from: Thumblewort
QFT ^^^^. I lied to my wife the most regarding chewing - I'll quit tomorrow, on my birthday. on her birthday, etc. - so why would I get her support? Instead I talked to her every day the first 2 months until things started to be normal again, and support or no, it helped a bunch. She knew I wasn't dipping, and that's all that mattered to me.
If nothing else, it will help explain why you're more irritable than normal while you're going through the withdrawal. When I finally told my wife about my quit, the first thing she said was, "So that's why you were such an asshole all last week..."
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: B-loMatt on July 24, 2014, 12:57:00 PM
Great choice to quit. The above bad ass quitters have laid it out for you. Own your quit! You have the power. Read everything on KTC and learn the plan, then live the plan. KTC style quit works. You most certainly can do it! Reach out to any of us if you need anything.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Erussell on July 26, 2014, 05:44:00 AM
Day 4 today. The nicotine should be out of your body and now it's mind games. I saw a post you made in October and found it to be profound enough it should go in your thread to remind you how bad you want to be quit and just how much you hate this addition, later down the road. It was in reference to rdad's post of day 1.


( candoit's words to rdad)
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: B-loMatt on July 26, 2014, 08:11:00 AM
Sounds like you are owning it!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2014, 07:00:00 PM
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2014, 07:07:00 PM
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Smeds on August 06, 2014, 07:20:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Done4Me on August 06, 2014, 08:13:00 PM
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 06, 2014, 08:24:00 PM
Quote from: Done4Me
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Great post. Keep it up.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2014, 08:52:00 PM
Quote from: Done4Me
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

I am aware of the false confince, at this point. But also know myself I need to see both the long and short terms of things. So keeping the eye on the guiding light, ie qft, helps me place the day to day choices and prevents them from becoming meaningless routines. I don't want my quit to become routine.

The words and support of the vets of quit also continue to help ground my lofty goal, with the bitter reality of quitting. But if I listened to all those that said I couldn't I would not be here today.

Done4me I hope this helps you understand quit for life is no some cheap motto, it is a goal in which I work towards everyday. The more people that know my goal, the more that can help support me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 06, 2014, 09:14:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Quote from: Done4Me
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

I am aware of the false confince, at this point. But also know myself I need to see both the long and short terms of things. So keeping the eye on the guiding light, ie qft, helps me place the day to day choices and prevents them from becoming meaningless routines. I don't want my quit to become routine.

The words and support of the vets of quit also continue to help ground my lofty goal, with the bitter reality of quitting. But if I listened to all those that said I couldn't I would not be here today.

Done4me I hope this helps you understand quit for life is no some cheap motto, it is a goal in which I work towards everyday. The more people that know my goal, the more that can help support me.
I hear what you're saying, but:

A life long quit is the war. Each day is a new battle. In this war you have to win every single battle. You can't lose a single battle. The war will be lost if you lose today's battle. Win today.

One day at a time is the mantra required for success in this war.

Big bonus of the ODAAT philosophy: Valuing your time. You will learn to value each new day of freedom by soaking in the world with sharpened senses. Senses no longer dulled by nicotine. Enjoy the rest of your free life, ODAAT.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Ginet on August 06, 2014, 09:48:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: candoit
Quote from: Done4Me
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
This is what's it's all about ... summed up nicely on a day 14. This post struck a chord, made my quit stronger ... and for that I thank you! You're a quitter, a damn strong one, and I like it. Keep the toolbox open at all times. Thanks brother!
Lot of strength and introspection from a 14 day dude. My mind was still a jumbled festering pile at 2 weeks. I took longer than the average bear. Very insightful and strong post. Only a couple of items I want to comment on.

Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

Next item you are totally in line with my thinking. Small groups are the 2nd most powerful tenet of the KTC quit behind posting roll daily. Your section addressed to your titan family was heartfelt with admiration for these dudes/dudesses that are there for you. Keep up the small groups. As you get more quit tenure (and my money is on you long term), invite a new quitter in. One one my groups is a bunch of guys in my month and a vet. The other is where I was the new quitter invited in right around where you are now. I love being a part of both of the groups and wouldn't trade them for anything.

You're on the right path and fulling diving in. Good stuff Candoit.
Beware of false confidence and large promises by staying small. Your phrase "now a quitter for life"...I know you are still in the euphoria stage but this is a long ass battle. One day, that's it, keep the promise to one day. No way in hell you should be promising anything more. Certainly not a lifetime. It's like in the business world, under promise and over deliver.

I am aware of the false confince, at this point. But also know myself I need to see both the long and short terms of things. So keeping the eye on the guiding light, ie qft, helps me place the day to day choices and prevents them from becoming meaningless routines. I don't want my quit to become routine.

The words and support of the vets of quit also continue to help ground my lofty goal, with the bitter reality of quitting. But if I listened to all those that said I couldn't I would not be here today.

Done4me I hope this helps you understand quit for life is no some cheap motto, it is a goal in which I work towards everyday. The more people that know my goal, the more that can help support me.
I hear what you're saying, but:

A life long quit is the war. Each day is a new battle. In this war you have to win every single battle. You can't lose a single battle. The war will be lost if you lose today's battle. Win today.

One day at a time is the mantra required for success in this war.

Big bonus of the ODAAT philosophy: Valuing your time. You will learn to value each new day of freedom by soaking in the world with sharpened senses. Senses no longer dulled by nicotine. Enjoy the rest of your free life, ODAAT.
congrats on 2 weeks!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FMBM707 on August 07, 2014, 12:24:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
Day 14

I am reflective at this point in my quit. So far I have experienced very low lows, in which I am angry at everyone and mellow even points. I wouldn't say that I am depressed nor would I say I am emotionally stable, but I am taking pause to evaluate the events and choices that have lead me to this point in my life.

The fact is I always had something to prove to everyone but myself. Whether it was in atheltics, socially, intellectually, or at work. The need to seek some sort of approval that I had earned the right to be here, gave me one hell of an egostical chip on my shoulder. I know why I first started to smoke, drink, or go down a very dark place in my life. I found things I could control, but in the end for what I thought I could control, controlled me.

I used to say, I would be a in a gutter if it wasn't for my wife, that statement is not tongue and cheek, it is the gospel truth. This habit it the last rement of my old life, that needed to be shed. In shedding this remaining crutch I can now move on with my journey. I would say that part of my life was the better part of 15 yrs.

14 days ago, I heard myself say to my wife "I will ask my doctor, next week about how to quit." She stormed off, i left for work and stopped for a tin, not thinking much of anything. But as that tin sat there on the passenger seat, I thought why is she mad, I do everything she want, she is the one that has the problem. But an hour is a long time to be alone with your thoughts, but then I though of every major fight in the past several years, guess who caused it, the nic bitch! That was it, I had been in this place so many times before, but what makes it any different? I will quit tonight, I just bought a new tin, that's a waste of money. So as I pulled into work, I did my ninja dipper routine hid the bottle, and tin. Went to my office and put in another one, well I have to get rid of it why waste it? So on went the day, got pissed, another one, coffee break? Another one, why well I am getting rid of the tin. But lunch I started looking how to quit, baccoff, patchs , gum, cold turkey? Oh there's a coupon for patches, or gum, but if I use baccoff my wife won't like that.... Then KTC and next thing I know its 4 pm. That drive home I threw the tin out of the window in the middle of interstate, went home, took my daughter to cheer leading, and joined KTC. That's where I am right now. The same spot I was 14 days ago, except I am now a quitter for life.

July 23, 2014 I realized that this addiction didn't define me, nor did the approval of anyone else. I said it before "I am not seeking forgiveness from everyone, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am living what I preech, I came clean with my wife, asked for her support and made it clear that I am not asking for forgiveness, but support. I reached out to my quit family, and the elders here. They all gave me adivice , but more important they gave me support.

For those that may be reading the KTC forums, please realize something. Everyone that is here and is committed to their quit, does not except failure. It may seem harsh, rude, arrogent, and hypocritical, but if you have that view you don't know what it means to quit yet. Saying failure is okay means it's okay to put that shit in your mouth, and its not a big deal. Well count how many times you have made that deal with yourself, and three years later your back at square one. Why? Because you said failure is okay.

KTC has been the support I need to quit everyday. The forums are only part of it, the numbers, live chat, and kakao app chatter that make the quit possible. U put ur quit in the hands of every serious quitter when you join, as they put their quit in yours. The wisdom and experiences of the group is something I haven't experienced in a very long time.

To my titan family:
Lim - the ability to reach out and be the butt of long running jokes, in the face of huge obsticals impresses and inspires me every day.
Southpaw the wisdom and leadership you display at such a young age, you have nothing but greatness ahead
Bam your fight to do right by your children and willingness to fight for them and our quit
Enav the southern possum fighter, always with the joke, has been a huge help
Thomas the voice of reason
Thutchi keep moving forward, I am proud you found the fight
Sir Derek truly fitting name for someone willing to suppport a newibie as an equal.

All of the others that I have not mentioned please do not take offense or disrespect for not being mentioned here. I have not chatted or spoken with you, we still have many more days of our life long battle together to get to know one another.

As I began this post I am in a reflective place, and thought I should share my thoughts about the past two weeks. I will end with this quote from my youth by the bouncing souls " together we are what we can't be alone"
Good stuff Candoit. Enjoyed the read! Keep up the good quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2014, 11:05:00 PM
I have had a tough week, but as I think about what it means to be a quitter and the strength it takes, holy guacamole batman! This is a crazy ride. My wife called me a woman because of the emotional component of the quit. I am having serious ups and downs, i just wish there was a middle. But I cannot wish, because wishing does not fix problems actions fix problems.

I need to begin taking action and not make excuses or wishes to feel better about myself or my work. If the past 30 days has taught me something, it is that quitting is not work, it is a culture shock. It is retraining every part of your system to do with out. It is like know that you are going to fast everyday until you die. For ENAV that is like ordering every meal from Popeye's

But it is the others that you found by circumstance that make the quit possible. We ended up by luck to find each other in October quitters. But it is not all "quitters" that I will say luck or good fortune. Those that use this as a place holder for their quit days. I just think that is bullshit, like calling in sober to AA from the bar. I look at those days they are claiming to be can free. IMO do not deserve to put those number next to their names. That is a right and priviledge to post here, and it should not taken lightly.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on August 22, 2014, 12:15:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
I have had a tough week, but as I think about what it means to be a quitter and the strength it takes, holy guacamole batman! This is a crazy ride. My wife called me a woman because of the emotional component of the quit. I am having serious ups and downs, i just wish there was a middle. But I cannot wish, because wishing does not fix problems actions fix problems.

I need to begin taking action and not make excuses or wishes to feel better about myself or my work. If the past 30 days has taught me something, it is that quitting is not work, it is a culture shock. It is retraining every part of your system to do with out. It is like know that you are going to fast everyday until you die. For ENAV that is like ordering every meal from Popeye's

But it is the others that you found by circumstance that make the quit possible. We ended up by luck to find each other in October quitters. But it is not all "quitters" that I will say luck or good fortune. Those that use this as a place holder for their quit days. I just think that is bullshit, like calling in sober to AA from the bar. I look at those days they are claiming to be can free. IMO do not deserve to put those number next to their names. That is a right and priviledge to post here, and it should not taken lightly.
Welcome to your quit, honey.

I'll do your hair if you do mine. Deal? We can listen to the Bieber CD...

You will settle. Nicotine is a helluva drug that messed us up more than we realized. Hell, I can't tell you how many times I went from :DQ: to ;Ironman: initially, but it was a lot. You're doing this man, and it's fucking awesome to watch.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Smeds on August 22, 2014, 08:46:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
I have had a tough week, but as I think about what it means to be a quitter and the strength it takes, holy guacamole batman! This is a crazy ride. My wife called me a woman because of the emotional component of the quit. I am having serious ups and downs, i just wish there was a middle. But I cannot wish, because wishing does not fix problems actions fix problems.

I need to begin taking action and not make excuses or wishes to feel better about myself or my work. If the past 30 days has taught me something, it is that quitting is not work, it is a culture shock. It is retraining every part of your system to do with out. It is like know that you are going to fast everyday until you die. For ENAV that is like ordering every meal from Popeye's

But it is the others that you found by circumstance that make the quit possible. We ended up by luck to find each other in October quitters. But it is not all "quitters" that I will say luck or good fortune. Those that use this as a place holder for their quit days. I just think that is bullshit, like calling in sober to AA from the bar. I look at those days they are claiming to be can free. IMO do not deserve to put those number next to their names. That is a right and priviledge to post here, and it should not taken lightly.
You are killing it bud, and I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you're here. Very true on the dudes using KTC as a "day counter". They exist in every group. They also are the first to either: 1) Cave ... 2) hit HOF and bail ... 3) hit HOF, bail, cave and come back later with tail tucked.

How can you tell if a guy is worth it? You don't ... he tells you through his actions. Stay strong, stay involved, stay quit. Attendance isn't everything, brotherhood and accountability is (are?). You "get it"!

Quit with you EDD! See you on roll ...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: B-loMatt on August 22, 2014, 09:21:00 AM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: candoit
I have had a tough week, but as I think about what it means to be a quitter and the strength it takes, holy guacamole batman! This is a crazy ride. My wife called me a woman because of the emotional component of the quit. I am having serious ups and downs, i just wish there was a middle. But I cannot wish, because wishing does not fix problems actions fix problems.

I need to begin taking action and not make excuses or wishes to feel better about myself or my work. If the past 30 days has taught me something, it is that quitting is not work, it is a culture shock. It is retraining every part of your system to do with out. It is like know that you are going to fast everyday until you die. For ENAV that is like ordering every meal from Popeye's

But it is the others that you found by circumstance that make the quit possible. We ended up by luck to find each other in October quitters. But it is not all "quitters" that I will say luck or good fortune. Those that use this as a place holder for their quit days. I just think that is bullshit, like calling in sober to AA from the bar. I look at those days they are claiming to be can free. IMO do not deserve to put those number next to their names. That is a right and priviledge to post here, and it should not taken lightly.
Welcome to your quit, honey.

I'll do your hair if you do mine. Deal? We can listen to the Bieber CD...

You will settle. Nicotine is a helluva drug that messed us up more than we realized. Hell, I can't tell you how many times I went from :DQ: to ;Ironman: initially, but it was a lot. You're doing this man, and it's fucking awesome to watch.
Funny, second intro in a row about excessive emotion in a quit. Made me think about a time in my quit when I felt no emotion about anything for a couple weeks. That sucked worse than raging and crying. Might be a funk, might be life, but either way just keep quitting and it will be alright. QLF with you all day!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: rdad on August 22, 2014, 03:48:00 PM
Quote from: B-loMatt
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: candoit
I have had a tough week, but as I think about what it means to be a quitter and the strength it takes, holy guacamole batman! This is a crazy ride. My wife called me a woman because of the emotional component of the quit. I am having serious ups and downs, i just wish there was a middle. But I cannot wish, because wishing does not fix problems actions fix problems.

I need to begin taking action and not make excuses or wishes to feel better about myself or my work. If the past 30 days has taught me something, it is that quitting is not work, it is a culture shock. It is retraining every part of your system to do with out. It is like know that you are going to fast everyday until you die. For ENAV that is like ordering every meal from Popeye's

But it is the others that you found by circumstance that make the quit possible. We ended up by luck to find each other in October quitters. But it is not all "quitters" that I will say luck or good fortune. Those that use this as a place holder for their quit days. I just think that is bullshit, like calling in sober to AA from the bar. I look at those days they are claiming to be can free. IMO do not deserve to put those number next to their names. That is a right and priviledge to post here, and it should not taken lightly.
Welcome to your quit, honey.

I'll do your hair if you do mine. Deal? We can listen to the Bieber CD...

You will settle. Nicotine is a helluva drug that messed us up more than we realized. Hell, I can't tell you how many times I went from :DQ: to ;Ironman: initially, but it was a lot. You're doing this man, and it's fucking awesome to watch.
Funny, second intro in a row about excessive emotion in a quit. Made me think about a time in my quit when I felt no emotion about anything for a couple weeks. That sucked worse than raging and crying. Might be a funk, might be life, but either way just keep quitting and it will be alright. QLF with you all day!
Candoit, I really liked reading this latest discussion. I for sure am more emotional since quitting. Its a good thing I think. It means we are living clean. I know I was flatlined emotionally when I was using. Just plodding along waiting for my next fix. Now life has more meaning and feelings. Keep it up, you are doing great!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Quitforsoj on August 22, 2014, 05:02:00 PM
Great discussion
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 23, 2014, 01:23:00 PM
I felt that I should share this thought here.

I have very few friends that I communicate with on a regular basis. That is for a variety of reasons, such as I don't like going out and drinking like I am 21, or they are still single, or don't have kids, or a career that they have to be up at 5:30 am and interacting with 30 + people at 7:00 am. Which is fine, but I also have not made the attempt to try and expand my circle of "friends".

This means I have stunted my own social growth to those that I have felt comfortable with and not changed the habits of socialization. But this is why a place like this is important. It is about changing habits and routines to become a different person than you were the day before.

Quitting is about change ALL OF WHO YOU ARE. If you don't begin to address these issues you will at some point revert back to what is comfortable all because it is habit. Change and learning are the same thing. When you change some thing, you are learning how to deal with the new, and it is uncomfortable. The discomfort is a sign you are doing it right.

Right now I am trying to deal with the fact I have more social interaction here online, or in Kakao than I do in real life. I could not do this alone and with out the support of the active members. But this introvertedness has been building long before the quit, and now I am ready to address this problem head on.

So I am expressing this fact in hopes that it gets to some of the less active Titian's to see that we are just as messed up as them, and have used tobacco to cover flaws, or hide feeling and emotions.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FMBM707 on August 23, 2014, 01:33:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
I felt that I should share this thought here.

I have very few friends that I communicate with on a regular basis. That is for a variety of reasons, such as I don't like going out and drinking like I am 21, or they are still single, or don't have kids, or a career that they have to be up at 5:30 am and interacting with 30 + people at 7:00 am. Which is fine, but I also have not made the attempt to try and expand my circle of "friends".

This means I have stunted my own social growth to those that I have felt comfortable with and not changed the habits of socialization. But this is why a place like this is important. It is about changing habits and routines to become a different person than you were the day before.

Quitting is about change ALL OF WHO YOU ARE. If you don't begin to address these issues you will at some point revert back to what is comfortable all because it is habit. Change and learning are the same thing. When you change some thing, you are learning how to deal with the new, and it is uncomfortable. The discomfort is a sign you are doing it right.

Right now I am trying to deal with the fact I have more social interaction here online, or in Kakao than I do in real life. I could not do this alone and with out the support of the active members. But this introvertedness has been building long before the quit, and now I am ready to address this problem head on.

So I am expressing this fact in hopes that it gets to some of the less active Titian's to see that we are just as messed up as them, and have used tobacco to cover flaws, or hide feeling and emotions.
Enjoying your perspective Candoit. It's not just about quitting nicotine, it's about changing who we are for the better. Quit with you all day every day. Keep up the solid quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on August 23, 2014, 01:46:00 PM
Quote from: FMBM707
Quote from: candoit
I felt that I should share this thought here.

I have very few friends that I communicate with on a regular basis. That is for a variety of reasons, such as I don't like going out and drinking like I am 21, or they are still single, or don't have kids, or a career that they have to be up at 5:30 am and interacting with 30 + people at 7:00 am. Which is fine, but I also have not made the attempt to try and expand my circle of "friends".

This means I have stunted my own social growth to those that I have felt comfortable with and not changed the habits of socialization. But this is why a place like this is important. It is about changing habits and routines to become a different person than you were the day before.

Quitting is about change ALL OF WHO YOU ARE. If you don't begin to address these issues you will at some point revert back to what is comfortable all because it is habit. Change and learning are the same thing. When you change some thing, you are learning how to deal with the new, and it is uncomfortable. The discomfort is a sign you are doing it right.

Right now I am trying to deal with the fact I have more social interaction here online, or in Kakao than I do in real life. I could not do this alone and with out the support of the active members. But this introvertedness has been building long before the quit, and now I am ready to address this problem head on.

So I am expressing this fact in hopes that it gets to some of the less active Titian's to see that we are just as messed up as them, and have used tobacco to cover flaws, or hide feeling and emotions.
Enjoying your perspective Candoit. It's not just about quitting nicotine, it's about changing who we are for the better. Quit with you all day every day. Keep up the solid quit.
In the walking dead, rick asks anybody accompanying him and his group three questions:

How many walkers have you killed?
How many people have you killed?
Why?

These questions are to shed truth on competency, morality, and communication skills. We have our own version of these three questions, but maybe there should be 3 we should ask ourselves as well:

How many numbers do you have?

How many have you used today?

Why?

One answers how competent we are in our quit. One answers how many quits we've strengthened today (including ours). And the other, well...it just gets down for the reason we are here.

Good stuff man.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 12:59:00 PM
Chatting this morning with a newb, here are some things I have noticed about young quitters.It is good that they have realized that they need to change and quit.They all seem to fall into one of two catagories:The sum of the parts equals the whole. Sounds easy but think about it in terms of your quit. Each part of who you are has become dependant on nic. So removing one part, yes it is necessary but we need to examine the effect on all other parts of the whole. So as we all relearn to become whole again it is not possible unless we completely deconstruct ourselves and start from the ground up.

The vets tell you be careful about drinking, why because it is an assoitated behavior. I drink therefore I want a dip. Or, I drink coffee I have a smoke. It is one and the sam. We need to figure put who we are with out all addictive substances in our system, ground zero if you will. Then start from that point.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Mogul on August 24, 2014, 01:18:00 PM
I have enjoyed reading this sir. You have strengthened my resolve to be quit. I am in this battle with you daily. I like what I am reading here. Im learning as I go. Thank you

Mogul
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:35:00 PM
The sad part is since the dawn of the nuclear age, we have no way of measuring the amount of radio isotope present in the environment. Prior to that we could make the assumption that the amount of radioactive material in the environment was constant.
Today it is our knowledge of carbon -14 radioactive, that make MRI's possible. Prior 1945, Carbon14 was only a by-product of the ionizing energy coming through the outer atmosphere interacting with nitrogen-14 making a electron collide with a proton making a neutron, but the release of nuclear material added additional carbon 14 to the anthrosphere, hence it can no longer be assumed constant. However the assumption of constant carbon 14 concentration is only necessary in dating material, and has no bearing on the isotopes ability to resopned in a magnetic field. (MRI).
In case you wanted to know.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:37:00 PM
In response to a august 11, 2014 October convo about the use of language:
Since it seems that I dropping knowledge bombs like tony romo loves the huddle, here is another one.

Let's look at the etymology of some of the afore mentioned words. We will start with gay, in no particular order

- gay: is first reported used in the 14th century in the context of stately and beautiful. However in the 1890's it was reported that it was used to describe promiscuity. How ever the current usage of the term gay, can be traced back to somewhere between 1920 to the late 40's appearing in everything from references of male hobos to psychological journals. If we fast forward 60 years, it took on a new meaning of bad or inferior.

- fag: the origin of this word is not easily traced. Some believe that it is from the term faggot, a bundle of sticks, and in 15th c Europe it was used to describe heretics while burned at the stake. While other believes that it comes from the 1880s English slang for the butt of a smoke cigarette.

- bitch: the earliest reference is from the Norse, in about 14 c, bikkjuna, female dog, wolf, or fox of unknown origin. But there are written records of the term being used to describe males, also. In 1811 the dictionary defined the term as "the most offensive appellation that can be given to an English woman, even more provoking than that of a whore".

Let us know of what we speak before we fly off the proverbial handle. Many words have multiple meanings and origins. It is in how you, the reader, choose to define the word. If I walked into a room, and asked 100 people to define "cool" how many would define it the exact same way? I would say not a one.

So take a step back and look at why and how those terms where used. If the PERSON has a problem with the term it should be they who lodge the complaint. I often hear this double tongued speak in the hallways of you schools. A black student can use the term n****** towards another black male! However at the same time if a student of another skin color uses the term it is offensive. The double standard can not exist, either you have a problem with the term over all, or you don't.

But at the end of the day here, we are amongst adults, who understand that what one says or writes may not be understood or liked by those that read it. But you have the choice here to read and move on, or respond. If you are finding it offensive, you have every right to, but we also have every right to express our thoughts, even if they contradict yours.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:39:00 PM
Pre HOF October 2014 Roll Call
Posted: Aug 11 2014, 04:50 PM Forum Quit Groups View full topic
jeeptruck
Aug 11 2014, 04:30 PM
FMBM707
Aug 11 2014, 04:21 PM
jeeptruck
Aug 11 2014, 04:20 PM
FMBM707
Aug 11 2014, 04:08 PM
Did anyone see what happened in Ferguson, MO (St. Louis suburb) last night? Those fuckers burnt down a QT! Mob mentality is an ugly thing.
I did not partly because my part of NC is a little behind the times.... we don't get Monday night football until Wednesday
LOL. Just google Ferguson, MO riot
what is this world coming too?
Let me tie it all together my friends. Welcome to Mr. C's knowledge emporium. Where the knowledge flows as freely as piss during a commercial break.

The question asked is "what is this world coming to?" Well the answer is quite simple: chaos.

In the scientific measure of course. The term is entropy, the measure of disorder. The thrid law of thermodynamics states "all systems sponatously moves to disorder." That means to make something ordered it requires a massive amount of energy to over come the force of disorder. No matter how hard we try and make the system (system is defined as what we are studying) behave in a certain way it will always regress to disorder, because it requires less energy.

This knowledge break has been brought to you by Louisville Slugger's new line, Possum Slammers, with double reinforced wall, guaranteed to knock a possum farther than Sammy Sosa on roids
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:40:00 PM
Another message brought to you by Mr. C's Knowledge Emporium, where the facts flow like the morning after taco bell and cheap beer.

Frying bacon, nude. Not the smartest move, but good advice none the less. But it made me think about one of the most influential thinkers of all time, Sir Francis Bacon.

The third president, Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying Bacon, Newton, and Locke are the three most influential thinkers of all time. This Bacon was responsible for the foundation of the modern scientific methodogoly. The emperical methodology which he created is the foundation of the philosophical beliefs that are founding fathers believed deeply in, and is reflected in the Federalist papers.

This Bacon keeps on giving, he is the framer and writer of the charter for both Virginia and Newfondland. He also had a helping hand in the Carolinas. But to cap it all off, he dies of pneumonia while studying the effects of freezing on the preservention meats.


This knowledge moment has been brought to you by kakao, where a bad frat party is a click away.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:42:00 PM
Posted: Aug 14 2014, 08:27 PM Forum Quit Groups View full topic
Mr. C here from the local neighborhood knowledge eemporium, where we keep you scratching your head, like a hobo with lice ,sleeping in a burlap sack, on a hill of fire ants.

Let's talk about the wind. I want you all to think about why for a minute, wind or what we call wind is not the cause but the effect............

We don't see the wind move the leaves, we see the leaves move as a result of the wind. Or we see large sand dunes, which exists as an effect of the wind.

Wind is one of those things we except as truth, but we can not see it. It is backwards in our way of rationalizing unseen forces. We take the effect (movement) and call it both the cause and effect, even though they are two separate things.

There is much in life that falls in this category, such as the sense of touch, seeing color, temperature, and the weather.

I would like you to take a minute and reflect on those unseen things, that we take for granted or we accept without pause.

This knowledge break has been brought to you by bounty paper towels, the quicker picker upper, to wipe up all of the gray matter dripping down the side of your face.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:44:00 PM
Aug 12 2014, 05:21 PM
Another imparting of knowledge by Mr.C's Knowledge Emporium where the facts go faster than Mossy Oak at a Cabelas Clearance Sale.

Quitting takes a lot of energy. But what is energy and how can we say it "takes a lot" ? So energy is defined as the ability to do work. The key here is the ability. That means it can do work or it can not. Let's look at an example, shall we? So there is a shot gun shell.....that shell posses the ability to different types of work. Chemical, physical, and mechanical where heat, light, sound, and motion are all examples of the result of the energy doing work. The process by which the engery it transferred and manifests itself is another factoid for another time. So the lesson here is that we all have the ability (energy) to do work (quit) it is our choice to expend the energy necessary to do the work. It is a choice that we make, the the result of the expendure of engery can take many forms, heated under the collar, lighting possums tails on fire, sounding off, and moving forward one day at a time.

This knowledge bomb was brought to you by, Hallmark's new choose your own adventure series, A Day in the Life of Big Worm.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:45:00 PM
Pre HOF October 2014 Roll Call
Posted: Aug 13 2014, 06:53 PM Forum Quit Groups View full topic
Mr. C here from the ever busy knowledge emporium, it seems today we ran out of synonyms for fustrated. While we restock on synonyms, let's take a break from all that strenuous, herculean, arduous, demanding, effortful, energy-consuming, exhausting, hard, laborious, mean, operose, taxing, toilful, toilsome, tough, tough going, uphill, wicked things that frustrate us, and part take in some enlightenment.

When we look at the finite life span we all have here, we begin to ponder about the more important things in life. Such as, how do they get the the non stick coating to stick? Why does water stick to everything? How do clouds float if they are made of ice? One of these nagging questions was recently investigated on the international space station, why does a plant always grow in the same directions? In 2010 they conducted a series of experiments to determine the role gravity had in the development of root systems. You would think that since gravity plays a factor on earth, it would play a role in space. Yet 300 miles above the earth, the plants grew exactly the same. Flower and stem straight up roots down and out. So how come the plants were able to adapt from the seed in a non native environment? It is as if the seed was aware of its surroundings and instantly adapted.

So why share this experiment? Wouldn't it be nice not to have to go through the fog, rage, depression, and angst, in our battle to stay quit? The simple flower doesn't seem so simple any more, does it? So as the outsiders say quitting is easy, they are viewing the rather complex from a point of view that lacks the knowledge to appreciate the process of adaption to our new environment.

This knowledge minute has been brought to you by Goof Off the new official sponsors of Tony Stewart Racing.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:49:00 PM
Posted: Aug 20 2014, 08:23 PM Forum Quit Groups View full topic
I think that we need to look at the words and wisdom of the elders of quit:

KTC Quitter Math

I think that everyone needs to ask themselves these questions and answer them honestly:

How can you tell if a quitter has integrity?
He keeps his promise even if it involves suffering.
I have brought pain and anguish to myself and my family, but knowing that I am accountable more now then ever before. I had to take my lashings from everyone, which made me want to run to the nearest store, but I am quit. I change the route i drive to and from work. The way i use money, take tests all to prove that I am clean
He sticks to it even when no one is praising him.
I am not seeking the forgiveness of others, I am seeking to forgive myself. I am looking for support not understanding.
He keeps focused even when no one is watching.
driving an hr everyday to work, there is no one watching, when I am in the office (in the basement by myself), when I drive to other locations, when I drive home, when I am doing yard work. I know that I am the only one watching and I can not be weak, I can not let my guard down, I can not fail
He does the right thing even if it is unpopular.
I know that I am far from the popular person right now, because I am calling people out, but guess what, I do not care, I know it is the right thing.
He keeps his values regardless of the cost.
Personal values are the one thing that has gotten me through the toughest of times. No one can take those from me, and they are what is giving me the strength to do this

From Keddy
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 02:50:00 PM
I have at this point decieded that I am going to post things that I post else where here. Why BC I am tired of looking for oh when did I say this or that.....plus I am not charged for storage space.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Done4Me on August 24, 2014, 09:18:00 PM
Not sure but believe candoit to be a teacher hence the knowledge bombs which are both humorous and interesting. 4 in a row makes me think you hit the gin bottle a bit much in the afternoon. Regardless, impressed with the the quit. Carry on sir.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 09:26:00 PM
Quote from: Done4Me
Not sure but believe candoit to be a teacher hence the knowledge bombs which are both humorous and interesting. 4 in a row makes me think you hit the gin bottle a bit much in the afternoon. Regardless, impressed with the the quit. Carry on sir.
Done4me I am not a gin man. I prefer the Jack Daniels straight up. I wanted to post all of these knowledge bombs in one place. And yes I am a teacher, coach, and mentor, that part of my life has always been what I do and I damn good at it. Now I am learning how to do that with out the nic running through my system. I have "lost" my filter and editing system. So it is a challenge to do my job, and I find my self struggling to find and pronounce words. But again that will not be reason to give up. I now know I can relearn habits but it takes time and effort.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: B-loMatt on August 24, 2014, 10:13:00 PM
Mr. C., thanks for the factiods and insights. One of your earlier posts from today (maybe yesterday) talked about taking your quit as an opportunity to deconstruct ourselves and rebuild or something like that, and I think that part of this comes from the pride one should rightly feel in quitting nicotine. When one finds themselves doing what they previously thought impossible (quitting nicotine), then the thought that one should be able to reshape any aspect of their life that they are unhappy with. Also, some of the most commonly given (and useful) bits of advice given to new quitters is to exercise, and exercising also leads to a feeling that self improvement is possible. Furthermore, once the poison is out of ones system the brain starts getting more oxygen which leads to more thinking, and more thinking leads to knowledge bombs.... Wait what was I talking about? Nevermind, it doesn't matter... Keep doing what you're doing and quit on!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Done4Me on August 24, 2014, 10:34:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Quote from: Done4Me
Not sure but believe candoit to be a teacher hence the knowledge bombs which are both humorous and interesting. 4 in a row makes me think you hit the gin bottle a bit much in the afternoon. Regardless, impressed with the the quit. Carry on sir.
Done4me I am not a gin man. I prefer the Jack Daniels straight up. I wanted to post all of these knowledge bombs in one place. And yes I am a teacher, coach, and mentor, that part of my life has always been what I do and I damn good at it. Now I am learning how to do that with out the nic running through my system. I have "lost" my filter and editing system. So it is a challenge to do my job, and I find my self struggling to find and pronounce words. But again that will not be reason to give up. I now know I can relearn habits but it takes time and effort.
I am with you in that I also have lost my filter. At 112 days I am getting better than at 80 days which was better than at 50 days, etc. I believe that I will be fully cured (based on forum input) and ruler of the free world ( based on my Mom's input) at some point in the next year. Obama and the odd Korean dude with the f'd up haircut should fear me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 10:40:00 PM
Mr. C here from the Knowledge Emporium, returning from vacation where you had access to electricity and WiFi, but I had to text in my roll, so I could not share the latest knowledge from the tree is of wisdom.

Today's tidbit comes from an unlikely source, Lim. Or at least a link he sent me. Marsupial males have two headed penis, and females can have two or three Virgina's. That fact alone completely is baffling situation, we have a tough enough time pleasing and one, but three. In that case you will always be leaving one wanting more, talking about never being able to please your wife.

So what does this teach us? That we think we have it bad trying to please the women in our life? We could have two penises, and never be able to fully please our mate. That is our battle with the sneaky woman nic, we feel we can do anything and we are better than her. Yet there is no pleasing her.

This knowledge moment is brought to you by Johnston  Johnston scamming you out of real poo since 1890, a family company. (SHAM-POO) get it????
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2014, 10:55:00 PM
Quote from: B-loMatt
Mr. C., thanks for the factiods and insights. One of your earlier posts from today (maybe yesterday) talked about taking your quit as an opportunity to deconstruct ourselves and rebuild or something like that, and I think that part of this comes from the pride one should rightly feel in quitting nicotine. When one finds themselves doing what they previously thought impossible (quitting nicotine), then the thought that one should be able to reshape any aspect of their life that they are unhappy with. Also, some of the most commonly given (and useful) bits of advice given to new quitters is to exercise, and exercising also leads to a feeling that self improvement is possible. Furthermore, once the poison is out of ones system the brain starts getting more oxygen which leads to more thinking, and more thinking leads to knowledge bombs.... Wait what was I talking about? Nevermind, it doesn't matter... Keep doing what you're doing and quit on!
Knowledge bombs I think are mistitled. They are tangents of thought that I have made coherent and understandable.( I hope) these pearls or hair balls of wisdom I need to document. A good friend of mine always told me I had an old soul. After I looked at my shoes, he told me this.......

Many eastern cultures and native American believe in the idea the soul lives on and is transfered to the next person or opening. The receiver of the soul must first learn to deal with the accumulated demons of the soul, then begin to listen to the collective wisdom that is bestowed on that soul. Many people do not know how to deal with the demons or even how to listen to their own soul. The truly wise and gifted are able to do both.

If you choose to believe this or not there are some nuggets of sage advise in that statement. We all have our own demons to deal with many die trying. KTC gives each member the support to face theirs head on. While nic is only one of many demons we each posses. There is someone here that we can listen to guide us in how to change, and we need to only listen to deal with each and everyone of those demons.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 30, 2014, 09:15:00 AM
FROM Oct 2014 Roll 8/30/14 Labor Day Weekend

So MIA For Yesterday...... I checked the log in and post records for each of the missing Tits,

CWBCPA Miss #1, Please don't make a habit of this!
FLAW Dude WTF You miss yesterday and post at some ungodly hour in the morning
Jspencer Miss 1, I saw you logged in and where reading the roll yesterday, everything okay?

REMULTIPLY MISS #7 3 IN A ROW Has not logged in since Tuesday.

CStapleton, I know that he had a deal with SP so.......

I have an overall question, is this a case of the cat is away (CANDO is covering for SP) or the weekend means we lower our guard?

I have noticed that we (that is the plural form, versus the singular, we mow the lawn, we take out the trash, we need to change the oil in the car) are not as active on the weekend. I get it, we all have families and want to spend time with them being dad, mom, soldiers, and friends. I am dad, husband, brother, friend, and QUITTER. We are all trying to figure out how to balance this new role with all of the others. But we also have made a commitment to our quit family here and on Kakao, so I ask that we think about the:
The promise we made on day 1 on KTC
The promises we have made to each other
The promises we have made to our families

Each of these promises WERE NOT time stamped nor time bound. Please think about this quote

"When we want to succeed as bad as we want to breath only then we will be successful." (If you want the youtube link PM me)

Breathing is not a M - F thing, it is all day everyday. There are points in which we do not think about it, but others it has to be deliberate and controlled. This is our quit, there are times in which it is automatic, but then there is times, it is our only thought. Those time do not always happen M-F.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 01, 2014, 08:25:00 AM
I don't know what is more fitting to celebrate this labor day weekend. Than the utter laziness that it unions. For all of you that do not know Labor Day was created in response to Union Strikes and a guilty feeling by President Cleveland. Yes that was in the 1880's, and the American worker needed to be respected.

But now the unions have mutated into massive PAC's that do nothing but line their own pockets at the cost of jobs. So continue to drink and be merry and forget about the struggle of the american work force.

I always try and draw parallels for us in this house of quit, and as I am tracking the time cards this weekend. It is oblivious that some titian's have become lost and greedy in their own quit. I look to some of the numbers next to the names and think do they understand that is only possible due to those who came before us? That is our parallel here today, that those workers stood up for their rights and many died. We stand up for our right to quit, and their are those that will die because they did not see or embrace the chance they had. We must hold them accountable if we are to hold ourselves accountable.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 11, 2014, 11:59:00 AM
Mr. C here at the Knowledge Emporium. Today we are going to visit a room that is visited about much as the porta potty on day 3 of the chilli cook off, The room of pledges. Once I remember where it is,and move these boxes of Penthou ....... I mean research journals.... There we are.

The room of pledges. We look in here we see some very important pledges, ......here's one its dated July 1776, oh look over there, that's dated January 1863, oh here's one I haven't seen in a while dated June 1215, or this one from December 1941, look at the amount of DUST on this one, hold one here let me grab the pledge......

September 11, 2001, why did that have the most dust on it? We all promised that we would never forget that day, or that it happened in three places. But we did forget, except on September 11th.

Why is that? Is it because we became so busy we where able to push it aside, it was time to move on, we didn't have time, we can't take a moment to remember the words and action each day, we have to disconnect ourselves from the pain of that day?

Why did we forget? Why is it okay? Why do we stand by and let broken pledges be trampled on? Is it when we stand up we are afraid of being pushed down or aside? We do not teach our children to act in this manner, yet we say "well that's not the way the world works, or that's ideallic."

Let's look at those pledges again
June 1215: a pledge that the king has to follow the law of the land
July 1776: a pledge to create a union in which all are equal in freedoms and rights.
January 1863: a pledge that all men are entitled to equal freedoms and rights
December 1941: a pledge that we will defend these rights
September 2001: a pledge that we will not forget what happens when we turn a blind eye.

While there many many many more pledges we can look at in this room, there is one more I want you to look at, the date of quit under your name, here. That is a pledge to all of us that you will not forget why you are here. Now is that pledge as important as the rest? Yes, it is, because you made it to us, just as all of the others. But the question is my friends..............................

How soon will you forget about this pledge, how soon will it become too time consuming, how soon will it become to ideallic? Too many people have died to protect these rights, all because they honored and respected their pledge.

'usflag' honor thy fallen breathern by not forgetting why they are fallen 'usflag'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 25, 2014, 09:52:00 PM
Day 65 It has been two weeks since I last posted anything up here or substantial. I have been pissed off at anyone that has crossed my path in the digital or physical world. Anger is a fowl beast, that corrupts and distorts our perception of everything from text messages and emails to things that aren't said.

I have about 2 hours minimum worth of driving M -F were I have nothing to do but think about why....Each of these questions gets me enraged to think about, but as I am asking myself these questions I become not upset but depressed and disappointed, almost on the verge of tears because I know that it is I who is fighting these battles with myself. It is the absence of the nicotine in my system that is driving these questions, because it is the new clarity of mind that allows these questions to rise to the surface.

Many say that our dreams are a window to the soul, but the questions we ask ourselves of ourselves are often more important than the dreams. This is because the questions that our mind raises are ones that need to be dealt with. It is all too often we ignore these questions or turn down the volume by turning to drugs, but it only a temporary fix. The questions become louder, becoming self doubt and pity so I push more drugs into my system and this keeps going on and on.

So until we can begin to find the answers and truth for ourselves our addiction will run our life. I know it did with me, and still does. Yes I am still quit, but the new addition is being quitter.

Being a quitter is not a habit, it cant be. Being a quitter is about fighting, a boxer does not train for 1 round, nor does a ball player train for 1 at bat, it is about latching on to something that is going help you begin answering those questions. We all find a sense of pride in being part of something larger than ourselves, but when we do is it at the risk of losing our own identity or is it now having the support to begin to truthfully answer those questions. I really do not know the answer to that, for one simple reason, I do not know who I am yet, as a person with out nicotine, and I have the rest of my life to figure that out, as I begin to answer why.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: redtrain14 on September 25, 2014, 09:56:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Day 65 It has been two weeks since I last posted anything up here or substantial. I have been pissed off at anyone that has crossed my path in the digital or physical world. Anger is a fowl beast, that corrupts and distorts our perception of everything from text messages and emails to things that aren't said.

I have about 2 hours minimum worth of driving M -F were I have nothing to do but think about why....
  • Why am I an addict?
  • Why could I not stop sooner?
  • Why do I always feel like a failure?
  • Why do I have something to prove?
  • Why do I need the validation of others to feel better about myself?
  • Why am I becoming a social hermit?
  • Why do I feel very polar about things?
  • Why do I just ramble and think I need to provide detailed answers to everything?
  • Why can't I just shut-up and listen to others?
  • Why do people raise their children to tell the truth but don't want to hear it themselves?
  • Why can cops talk on their cell phones and pass me in the right lane going 85?
  • Why am I forgotten?
  • Why am I not considered important or capable?
Each of these questions gets me enraged to think about, but as I am asking myself these questions I become not upset but depressed and disappointed, almost on the verge of tears because I know that it is I who is fighting these battles with myself. It is the absence of the nicotine in my system that is driving these questions, because it is the new clarity of mind that allows these questions to rise to the surface.

Many say that our dreams are a window to the soul, but the questions we ask ourselves of ourselves are often more important than the dreams. This is because the questions that our mind raises are ones that need to be dealt with. It is all too often we ignore these questions or turn down the volume by turning to drugs, but it only a temporary fix. The questions become louder, becoming self doubt and pity so I push more drugs into my system and this keeps going on and on.

So until we can begin to find the answers and truth for ourselves our addiction will run our life. I know it did with me, and still does. Yes I am still quit, but the new addition is being quitter.

Being a quitter is not a habit, it cant be. Being a quitter is about fighting, a boxer does not train for 1 round, nor does a ball player train for 1 at bat, it is about latching on to something that is going help you begin answering those questions. We all find a sense of pride in being part of something larger than ourselves, but when we do is it at the risk of losing our own identity or is it now having the support to begin to truthfully answer those questions. I really do not know the answer to that, for one simple reason, I do not know who I am yet, as a person with out nicotine, and I have the rest of my life to figure that out, as I begin to answer why.
Nice reflection there friend.

You will find yourself in time.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 09, 2014, 11:03:00 PM
Today is 79 days in to being Nic Free. I think about the past 15 days of my quit, and oh how have I changed.

This morning I was pissed about stupid shit at work, like I need to be next to my office phone to make calls. But the phone was moved on Monday to my new office, upstairs from the basement (old office), but found out they never moved my desk, and it was not being moved till oh next Wednesday. So what did i do I got a hand truck and moved my desk my self (no elevators). So I was also dealing with a pissy client that I didn't return emails or the phone calls from yesterday. He called me at 7:00 pm and emailed at 11 pm, and by the way he is not paying the 750 per day fee for my services, this is all for free. I go back to day 50 this would of derailed my entire day, go back to day 25 I would of stayed home to protect the quit, and 25 days before that, I would of gone for a coffee run (packed a fat lip full of cancer seed) come back switched to ninja mode and gut it for about the next 3 hours, till I was back in the car. But chatting with a Titian of Quit October 2014, I realized that about a year ago I was in a 4+ hour lock down, when a "gun man" was spotted on Yale campus. At the time I was working in a school in the area, due to its proximity it was locked down. What did that mean? It was part of my job to sweep the halls and ensure all students are in classrooms and all doors are locked, then I shelter in place. I ended up in an empty classroom for the entire time. So what did I do, well i drained the cell battery and then lamented about how I didn't have a tin with me, it was in my bag in my office. I was pissed that I had time to kill, an empty classroom, and even better an empty coffee cup. But the best part of this story, I had to shit in a trash can, because it happened from 11 am to 4 pm. Right before lunch, plus as a teacher you only have a 15 to 30 minute window of time to shit or talk to adults per day. But i was more upset that I didn't have my can of mint flavored cancer turds on me, then shitting in a trash can or a possible "gun man" on the loose. It turned out that it was a hoax called in from a pay phone (this happened in 2013 Google it).

But I digress about that incident a year ago. I was a teacher and I was being used for my skills and talents, but continually passed over for the leadership roles, because of who/what I was. I blamed it on a lot of things, but I knew there was a glass ceiling and it was time to leave. I left the classroom in December of 2013. This was one the hardest choices I made, but it was the right one. Why? I think back to what I was doing and how I got to where I was, it was because I pushed the envelope I was not complacent, I always risking, pushing the edge of comfort for myself and the students. I embraced failure, I created a culture of failure, I forced my students to fail, I taught failure, and I was damn good at it.

A culture of failure, is not living life as a failure, but how do I react when I do fail, how do I move on, how do I deal with it mentally, how do I seek help for what I do not know, how do I recognize that which I do not know, and how to I not fail at the same thing twice. I do not care what subject a teacher teach's, but if they are not teaching how to deal with failure through the content, they are doing nothing more than wasting time. I cared more about learning how to teach hard work, self reliance, self esteem, and pride than I did chemistry. Chemistry was the mechanism in which I could set up controlled failures to teach them how to trouble shoot, have faith in themselves. I always started the year off, with a lab that would never work or give them what the "book said it would" Why? Because they all doubted themselves, not the directions or the book. Even if they responded correctly, I always asked are you sure? Why? Because if you really trusted yourself and didn't look at the teacher as the wise sage on the stage, you would push back at the positional authority and stand up because you know it is right.

Chemistry is hard for many reasons, but the largest is that we study atoms and their behavior. That isn't hard, what is hard is that we observed the large scale interactions (macro scale) and from that we deduce what is going on at the atomic scale. So why is that relevant, well it is completely reverse of the way we learn all other subjects. We observe the effect from that we figure out the cause.
Here's the example I always used:
"Describe the wind?"
Could you answer that? Right now, no Google, no phone a friend, no text, no book, just your thinking and completely justify it with concrete examples and numerical data? I would wager that the majority of you would say it is something moving, like leaves or a tree or trash, or a house in Kansas. But you all gave me examples of effects not causes. That is how chemistry works, we see the effects and from there have to figure out the reasons.

But a year ago I realized I no longer was that teacher that embraced a culture of failure or deep logical thinking and conversation. I stopped because I had become disenfranchised. I had a choice I can take a risk and fail, or become the teacher that has lost the passion. I took the risk with the full knowledge I could fail, I was fine with that. I couldn't go in planning to fail, but I go in aware that it could happen and I will do everything I can to ensure it doesn't happen.

79 days ago, July 23, 2014, I took another risk knowing full well that I have failed every time I tried before. But i knew I had i to do it differently, so I joined and posted roll. This has been one hell of a risk for me, to put your faith in a complete group of strangers and hope that this works based on the stories and words posted here. But how is that different than walking into a new school, or the 1st day of a new school year?

Everyone always asks the same three questions of the teacher/professor/BAQ they just meet:

1) Who are you?
2) Why should I listen to you?
3) Why should I care?

If you fail to answer any of these questions by the end of the first interaction, then you are done. I don't care who you are, you may not realize it or even consciously think about it, but you do ask these questions.

Why does this matter? I kept my keyboard quite last night as two groups of quitters unleashed a pissing contest all over a new quit group. Am I a proud Titian Hell Fucking Yeah I am, but at the same time what I saw turned my stomach.

Call me a special butterfly, snowflake, a fuvking ghey phag, a cocknow user, or what ever else you want to, but take the pissing some where else. I took what happened a month ago too damn personal, but now you all have stepped over the line. This is scaring a new class of quitters, who all are taking a huge risk and putting their faith and trust in all of us not just one month. ALL OF US. I am not going to point fingers at who started that or who I think should apologize, because that is not my job or my place. However, it is my place to stand up for those who do not know any better or are too scared to say something in a place they do not feel comfortable, to begin with.

I have reached out to new quitters and they are scared to use Kakao, because they see the way it is talked about here, just like the quit lite. I saw the attack on one the veterans, who was one of the first few to reach out and welcome my messed up ass here. His message was clear: Honor your word to not use nicotine today, and protect it by any means necessary.

Protect your honor by any means necessary, I forgot what that was, until today, 365 days from when I was shitting in a trash can.

I am an educator who firmly believes in teaching and supporting those who take risks. The largest part of that is teaching them how to deal with the failure, and move forward stronger and with their heads held a little higher, with pride. A large part of that lesson is owning up to the errors and consequences of the failure (this is the students part) but my part is the hardest one:
Keep my mouth shut long enough for them to let them own up and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Do I call bullshit? Yes
Do I demand more? Yes
Do I ensure that they understand what they did wrong? Yes
Am I disappointed in their choices? Yes
Am I disappointed that they knew better? Yes
Am I disappointed in myself for not doing something differently? Yes
But do I linger on it? Yes
Do I hold it against them? No

If I want to grow better people they need to be held accountable, but they also need to know that tomorrow is a new day, and that I will be their for them just as I was today. Will any of my expectations or demands change, no never.

So I am protecting my honor, and the honor of those who have yet to learn or remember what honor is, people will fail, you all failed last night at being the role models for January 2015. But know this tomorrow I will be back here, post roll, wish everyone in Kakao a good morning, text NateMcP, PrOf, FredR, and McCamno, and be waiting for my expectations of all of you to be met. And I will continue to do that every single day of my life because I choose to protect my honor and I have pride what I do.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: tsj12b on October 09, 2014, 11:22:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Today is 79 days in to being Nic Free. I think about the past 15 days of my quit, and oh how have I changed.

This morning I was pissed about stupid shit at work, like I need to be next to my office phone to make calls. But the phone was moved on Monday to my new office, upstairs from the basement (old office), but found out they never moved my desk, and it was not being moved till oh next Wednesday. So what did i do I got a hand truck and moved my desk my self (no elevators). So I was also dealing with a pissy client that I didn't return emails or the phone calls from yesterday. He called me at 7:00 pm and emailed at 11 pm, and by the way he is not paying the 750 per day fee for my services, this is all for free. I go back to day 50 this would of derailed my entire day, go back to day 25 I would of stayed home to protect the quit, and 25 days before that, I would of gone for a coffee run (packed a fat lip full of cancer seed) come back switched to ninja mode and gut it for about the next 3 hours, till I was back in the car. But chatting with a Titian of Quit October 2014, I realized that about a year ago I was in a 4+ hour lock down, when a "gun man" was spotted on Yale campus. At the time I was working in a school in the area, due to its proximity it was locked down. What did that mean? It was part of my job to sweep the halls and ensure all students are in classrooms and all doors are locked, then I shelter in place. I ended up in an empty classroom for the entire time. So what did I do, well i drained the cell battery and then lamented about how I didn't have a tin with me, it was in my bag in my office. I was pissed that I had time to kill, an empty classroom, and even better an empty coffee cup. But the best part of this story, I had to shit in a trash can, because it happened from 11 am to 4 pm. Right before lunch, plus as a teacher you only have a 15 to 30 minute window of time to shit or talk to adults per day. But i was more upset that I didn't have my can of mint flavored cancer turds on me, then shitting in a trash can or a possible "gun man" on the loose. It turned out that it was a hoax called in from a pay phone (this happened in 2013 Google it).

But I digress about that incident a year ago. I was a teacher and I was being used for my skills and talents, but continually passed over for the leadership roles, because of who/what I was. I blamed it on a lot of things, but I knew there was a glass ceiling and it was time to leave. I left the classroom in December of 2013. This was one the hardest choices I made, but it was the right one. Why? I think back to what I was doing and how I got to where I was, it was because I pushed the envelope I was not complacent, I always risking, pushing the edge of comfort for myself and the students. I embraced failure, I created a culture of failure, I forced my students to fail, I taught failure, and I was damn good at it.

A culture of failure, is not living life as a failure, but how do I react when I do fail, how do I move on, how do I deal with it mentally, how do I seek help for what I do not know, how do I recognize that which I do not know, and how to I not fail at the same thing twice. I do not care what subject a teacher teach's, but if they are not teaching how to deal with failure through the content, they are doing nothing more than wasting time. I cared more about learning how to teach hard work, self reliance, self esteem, and pride than I did chemistry. Chemistry was the mechanism in which I could set up controlled failures to teach them how to trouble shoot, have faith in themselves. I always started the year off, with a lab that would never work or give them what the "book said it would" Why? Because they all doubted themselves, not the directions or the book. Even if they responded correctly, I always asked are you sure? Why? Because if you really trusted yourself and didn't look at the teacher as the wise sage on the stage, you would push back at the positional authority and stand up because you know it is right.

Chemistry is hard for many reasons, but the largest is that we study atoms and their behavior. That isn't hard, what is hard is that we observed the large scale interactions (macro scale) and from that we deduce what is going on at the atomic scale. So why is that relevant, well it is completely reverse of the way we learn all other subjects. We observe the effect from that we figure out the cause.
Here's the example I always used:
"Describe the wind?"
Could you answer that? Right now, no Google, no phone a friend, no text, no book, just your thinking and completely justify it with concrete examples and numerical data? I would wager that the majority of you would say it is something moving, like leaves or a tree or trash, or a house in Kansas. But you all gave me examples of effects not causes. That is how chemistry works, we see the effects and from there have to figure out the reasons.

But a year ago I realized I no longer was that teacher that embraced a culture of failure or deep logical thinking and conversation. I stopped because I had become disenfranchised. I had a choice I can take a risk and fail, or become the teacher that has lost the passion. I took the risk with the full knowledge I could fail, I was fine with that. I couldn't go in planning to fail, but I go in aware that it could happen and I will do everything I can to ensure it doesn't happen.

79 days ago, July 23, 2014, I took another risk knowing full well that I have failed every time I tried before. But i knew I had i to do it differently, so I joined and posted roll. This has been one hell of a risk for me, to put your faith in a complete group of strangers and hope that this works based on the stories and words posted here. But how is that different than walking into a new school, or the 1st day of a new school year?

Everyone always asks the same three questions of the teacher/professor/BAQ they just meet:

1) Who are you?
2) Why should I listen to you?
3) Why should I care?

If you fail to answer any of these questions by the end of the first interaction, then you are done. I don't care who you are, you may not realize it or even consciously think about it, but you do ask these questions.

Why does this matter? I kept my keyboard quite last night as two groups of quitters unleashed a pissing contest all over a new quit group. Am I a proud Titian Hell Fucking Yeah I am, but at the same time what I saw turned my stomach.

Call me a special butterfly, snowflake, a fuvking ghey phag, a cocknow user, or what ever else you want to, but take the pissing some where else. I took what happened a month ago too damn personal, but now you all have stepped over the line. This is scaring a new class of quitters, who all are taking a huge risk and putting their faith and trust in all of us not just one month. ALL OF US. I am not going to point fingers at who started that or who I think should apologize, because that is not my job or my place. However, it is my place to stand up for those who do not know any better or are too scared to say something in a place they do not feel comfortable, to begin with.

I have reached out to new quitters and they are scared to use Kakao, because they see the way it is talked about here, just like the quit lite. I saw the attack on one the veterans, who was one of the first few to reach out and welcome my messed up ass here. His message was clear: Honor your word to not use nicotine today, and protect it by any means necessary.

Protect your honor by any means necessary, I forgot what that was, until today, 365 days from when I was shitting in a trash can.

I am an educator who firmly believes in teaching and supporting those who take risks. The largest part of that is teaching them how to deal with the failure, and move forward stronger and with their heads held a little higher, with pride. A large part of that lesson is owning up to the errors and consequences of the failure (this is the students part) but my part is the hardest one:
Keep my mouth shut long enough for them to let them own up and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Do I call bullshit? Yes
Do I demand more? Yes
Do I ensure that they understand what they did wrong? Yes
Am I disappointed in their choices? Yes
Am I disappointed that they knew better? Yes
Am I disappointed in myself for not doing something differently? Yes
But do I linger on it? Yes
Do I hold it against them? No

If I want to grow better people they need to be held accountable, but they also need to know that tomorrow is a new day, and that I will be their for them just as I was today. Will any of my expectations or demands change, no never.

So I am protecting my honor, and the honor of those who have yet to learn or remember what honor is, people will fail, you all failed last night at being the role models for January 2015. But know this tomorrow I will be back here, post roll, wish everyone in Kakao a good morning, text NateMcP, PrOf, FredR, and McCamno, and be waiting for my expectations of all of you to be met. And I will continue to do that every single day of my life because I choose to protect my honor and I have pride what I do.
While I don't agree with everything you just wrote, there is some very powerful lessons, for life and Quit in there and I'm glad that you wrote it and that I read the whole thing 3 times.

I'm proud to call you Brother and I'm a better person for knowing and Quitting with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FMBM707 on October 10, 2014, 07:24:00 AM
Quote from: tsj12b
Quote from: candoit
Today is 79 days in to being Nic Free. I think about the past 15 days of my quit, and oh how have I changed.

This morning I was pissed about stupid shit at work, like I need to be next to my office phone to make calls. But the phone was moved on Monday to my new office, upstairs from the basement (old office), but found out they never moved my desk, and it was not being moved till oh next Wednesday. So what did i do I got a hand truck and moved my desk my self (no elevators). So I was also dealing with a pissy client that I didn't return emails or the phone calls from yesterday. He called me at 7:00 pm and emailed at 11 pm, and by the way he is not paying the 750 per day fee for my services, this is all for free. I go back to day 50 this would of derailed my entire day, go back to day 25 I would of stayed home to protect the quit, and 25 days before that, I would of gone for a coffee run (packed a fat lip full of cancer seed) come back switched to ninja mode and gut it for about the next 3 hours, till I was back in the car. But chatting with a Titian of Quit October 2014, I realized that about a year ago I was in a 4+ hour lock down, when a "gun man" was spotted on Yale campus. At the time I was working in a school in the area, due to its proximity it was locked down. What did that mean? It was part of my job to sweep the halls and ensure all students are in classrooms and all doors are locked, then I shelter in place. I ended up in an empty classroom for the entire time. So what did I do, well i drained the cell battery and then lamented about how I didn't have a tin with me, it was in my bag in my office. I was pissed that I had time to kill, an empty classroom, and even better an empty coffee cup. But the best part of this story, I had to shit in a trash can, because it happened from 11 am to 4 pm. Right before lunch, plus as a teacher you only have a 15 to 30 minute window of time to shit or talk to adults per day. But i was more upset that I didn't have my can of mint flavored cancer turds on me, then shitting in a trash can or a possible "gun man" on the loose. It turned out that it was a hoax called in from a pay phone (this happened in 2013 Google it).

But I digress about that incident a year ago. I was a teacher and I was being used for my skills and talents, but continually passed over for the leadership roles, because of who/what I was. I blamed it on a lot of things, but I knew there was a glass ceiling and it was time to leave. I left the classroom in December of 2013. This was one the hardest choices I made, but it was the right one. Why? I think back to what I was doing and how I got to where I was, it was because I pushed the envelope I was not complacent, I always risking, pushing the edge of comfort for myself and the students. I embraced failure, I created a culture of failure, I forced my students to fail, I taught failure, and I was damn good at it.

A culture of failure, is not living life as a failure, but how do I react when I do fail, how do I move on, how do I deal with it mentally, how do I seek help for what I do not know, how do I recognize that which I do not know, and how to I not fail at the same thing twice. I do not care what subject a teacher teach's, but if they are not teaching how to deal with failure through the content, they are doing nothing more than wasting time. I cared more about learning how to teach hard work, self reliance, self esteem, and pride than I did chemistry. Chemistry was the mechanism in which I could set up controlled failures to teach them how to trouble shoot, have faith in themselves. I always started the year off, with a lab that would never work or give them what the "book said it would" Why? Because they all doubted themselves, not the directions or the book. Even if they responded correctly, I always asked are you sure? Why? Because if you really trusted yourself and didn't look at the teacher as the wise sage on the stage, you would push back at the positional authority and stand up because you know it is right.

Chemistry is hard for many reasons, but the largest is that we study atoms and their behavior. That isn't hard, what is hard is that we observed the large scale interactions (macro scale) and from that we deduce what is going on at the atomic scale. So why is that relevant, well it is completely reverse of the way we learn all other subjects. We observe the effect from that we figure out the cause.
Here's the example I always used:
"Describe the wind?"
Could you answer that? Right now, no Google, no phone a friend, no text, no book, just your thinking and completely justify it with concrete examples and numerical data? I would wager that the majority of you would say it is something moving, like leaves or a tree or trash, or a house in Kansas. But you all gave me examples of effects not causes. That is how chemistry works, we see the effects and from there have to figure out the reasons.

But a year ago I realized I no longer was that teacher that embraced a culture of failure or deep logical thinking and conversation. I stopped because I had become disenfranchised. I had a choice I can take a risk and fail, or become the teacher that has lost the passion. I took the risk with the full knowledge I could fail, I was fine with that. I couldn't go in planning to fail, but I go in aware that it could happen and I will do everything I can to ensure it doesn't happen.

79 days ago, July 23, 2014, I took another risk knowing full well that I have failed every time I tried before. But i knew I had i to do it differently, so I joined and posted roll. This has been one hell of a risk for me, to put your faith in a complete group of strangers and hope that this works based on the stories and words posted here. But how is that different than walking into a new school, or the 1st day of a new school year?

Everyone always asks the same three questions of the teacher/professor/BAQ they just meet:

1) Who are you?
2) Why should I listen to you?
3) Why should I care?

If you fail to answer any of these questions by the end of the first interaction, then you are done. I don't care who you are, you may not realize it or even consciously think about it, but you do ask these questions.

Why does this matter? I kept my keyboard quite last night as two groups of quitters unleashed a pissing contest all over a new quit group. Am I a proud Titian Hell Fucking Yeah I am, but at the same time what I saw turned my stomach.

Call me a special butterfly, snowflake, a fuvking ghey phag, a cocknow user, or what ever else you want to, but take the pissing some where else. I took what happened a month ago too damn personal, but now you all have stepped over the line. This is scaring a new class of quitters, who all are taking a huge risk and putting their faith and trust in all of us not just one month. ALL OF US. I am not going to point fingers at who started that or who I think should apologize, because that is not my job or my place. However, it is my place to stand up for those who do not know any better or are too scared to say something in a place they do not feel comfortable, to begin with.

I have reached out to new quitters and they are scared to use Kakao, because they see the way it is talked about here, just like the quit lite. I saw the attack on one the veterans, who was one of the first few to reach out and welcome my messed up ass here. His message was clear: Honor your word to not use nicotine today, and protect it by any means necessary.

Protect your honor by any means necessary, I forgot what that was, until today, 365 days from when I was shitting in a trash can.

I am an educator who firmly believes in teaching and supporting those who take risks. The largest part of that is teaching them how to deal with the failure, and move forward stronger and with their heads held a little higher, with pride. A large part of that lesson is owning up to the errors and consequences of the failure (this is the students part) but my part is the hardest one:
Keep my mouth shut long enough for them to let them own up and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Do I call bullshit? Yes
Do I demand more? Yes
Do I ensure that they understand what they did wrong? Yes
Am I disappointed in their choices? Yes
Am I disappointed that they knew better? Yes
Am I disappointed in myself for not doing something differently? Yes
But do I linger on it? Yes
Do I hold it against them? No

If I want to grow better people they need to be held accountable, but they also need to know that tomorrow is a new day, and that I will be their for them just as I was today. Will any of my expectations or demands change, no never.

So I am protecting my honor, and the honor of those who have yet to learn or remember what honor is, people will fail, you all failed last night at being the role models for January 2015. But know this tomorrow I will be back here, post roll, wish everyone in Kakao a good morning, text NateMcP, PrOf, FredR, and McCamno, and be waiting for my expectations of all of you to be met. And I will continue to do that every single day of my life because I choose to protect my honor and I have pride what I do.
While I don't agree with everything you just wrote, there is some very powerful lessons, for life and Quit in there and I'm glad that you wrote it and that I read the whole thing 3 times.

I'm proud to call you Brother and I'm a better person for knowing and Quitting with you.
Nice work Candoit. Deep stuff here. Quit with you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 15, 2014, 09:12:00 PM
Day 85....

I have been thinking about this thing we call the fog, I don't know what even made me go to here, but circa 2000. My 2nd English class of undergrad we studied poetry. Shit I can not remember half of the things I do in a week but I remember this poem:
Fog
by Carl Sandburg
The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

I would like for you to stop, think, reflect, and post the meaning of this for you. I have included my interpretation below, but I want to you to draw your own conclusions for yourself (No Sheeple) here. (http://javascript:void%280%29;)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 23, 2014, 11:22:00 PM
Day 93: This is from Charles Darwin's Book Voyage of the Beagle: Chapter 2: Rio De Janerio

On the third day we took a different line. This is one of the principal lines of road in Brazil; yet it was in so bad a state that no wheeled vehicle, excepting the clumsy bullock-wagon, could pass along. In our whole journey we did not cross a single bridge built of stone; and those made of logs of wood were frequently so much out of repair, that it was necessary to go on one side to avoid them. All distances are inaccurately known. The road is often marked by crosses, in the place of milestones, to signify where human blood has been spilled. On the evening of the 23rd we arrived at Rio, having finished our pleasant little excursion.

They were traveling for some reason on the third day, they took a different path.
This is true of many of us, for some reason we choose to take a different path. This path is not well paved, documents, or smooth. The challenges we have to cross are not easy nor stable. Each time I crossed one of these bridges, it was "much out of repair". Well, I haven't used or up kept these bridges, but I was able to move forward, and most times like Darwin, i had to avoid them.

But here is the part that stood out to me All distances are inaccurately known. The road is often marked by crosses, in the place of milestones, to signify where human blood has been spilled. This is my quit. I have no idea how far I have traveled (distance) all I have is a number of days that I have quit. This doesn't tell me anything of meaning. I could have wondered in circles for days, in the fog, only to end up so close to the start of the journey, I was one step away. While that wondering could have taken 20 days, my total distance traveled away from quit point zero, is only a few feet not miles. This journey has the bodies of fallen quitters all around to serve as markers of their distance traveled, before the vanished in to the fog. These markers need to continue to serve as a reminder to myself of what is at stake, and what I risk every day in order to stay quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FMBM707 on October 30, 2014, 05:59:00 AM
Congrats on the Hall Candoit! Great work! Honored to be a fellow Titan with you. Keep up the great quit and keep the knowledge emporium posts.

Quit with you everyday
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Smeds on October 30, 2014, 07:51:00 AM
Quote from: FMBM707
Congrats on the Hall Candoit! Great work! Honored to be a fellow Titan with you. Keep up the great quit and keep the knowledge emporium posts.

Quit with you everyday
Congrats bro, always enjoy the tidbits from the Knowledge Emporium!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on October 30, 2014, 10:04:00 AM
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: FMBM707
Congrats on the Hall Candoit! Great work! Honored to be a fellow Titan with you. Keep up the great quit and keep the knowledge emporium posts.

Quit with you everyday
Congrats bro, always enjoy the tidbits from the Knowledge Emporium!
You are a badass.

What you've accomplished is badass.

Keep being a badass, badass.

I'm very proud to walk this path with you today man.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: tarpon17 on October 30, 2014, 10:12:00 AM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Smeds
Quote from: FMBM707
Congrats on the Hall Candoit! Great work! Honored to be a fellow Titan with you. Keep up the great quit and keep the knowledge emporium posts.

Quit with you everyday
Congrats bro, always enjoy the tidbits from the Knowledge Emporium!
You are a badass.

What you've accomplished is badass.

Keep being a badass, badass.

I'm very proud to walk this path with you today man.
Congrats candoit! 100 days is fan-freakin-tastic. today I hit 1500, but you know what, I quit today, with you and assclown from October 2014. You guys are rocking it like no other and I'm honored to quit with you today!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 24, 2014, 11:07:00 AM
Quandary of a Quitter

It is quite the quandary of questions that we ponder as we quietly query quizzically about our qualifications to quit.

We quarantine ourselves to the quotations of quintessential quitters. As we quibble about the quixotic qualities of the quitter, we quickly quench the queasiness of the questionable quid pro quos we made. In the instant we quell the internal quarrel and take the quantum leap into the quagmire of quit, we find the long quiet quotient from our quaint past.

This quirky, quotable, and inquisitive quotient now quakes on new quit legs quickly grabs the quill of quit. The questionable quotient pens the daily quotation of the quitters’ creed: “Today on my honor, I will remain steadfast in my promise to be a quitter.” With the quill in hand, the quaking and queasiness subsides and the quiet quotient no longer makes the quid pro quo with the queer queen of nicotine. The remainder has become the whole, to which we bestow the new title of a Quitter.

The quitter now stands quiet, quiver at the ready, with the armament of the quintessence army of quit to defend the promise to quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 24, 2014, 12:11:00 PM
Morning Nuggets of Quit Wisdom ~ by Mr. C
Exchanged with fellow quitters......

- Fumbling for fitting words, Fuck It...I'm Quit 11/14
- Quitting is not a job, it is a way of life! 11/14
- Quite the quit quandary as we query questions of quit. Quit today my friend that much is true. 11/14
- The Nic Bitch is like a bad 70's porn, you can't but say God Damn! What were they thinking? But you still watch. Careful or you will end up with a bad porn stash. 11/14
- Beating the nic bitch so hard, I make Ike Turner look like Mr. Rodgers 11/14
- +1 never felt so good 11/14
- Quit 4 Today, live for the moment 11/14
- Quit is a privilege not a guarantee 11/14
- Tell the Nic Bitch to bite the curb, stomp that shit! 11/14
- Another bead moved over on the abacus of quit 11/14
- Quitting ain't for the weak of mind. That is why we are all stubborn as hell. 10/14
- I'm still cautious. Cautious keeps you here and and keeps you quit. But also in those funks or frustrating moments remember you have have what few could and are doing what even fewer continue to do. - McCamno -10/14
- Quitting is not a process it is a choice. I make the choice to quit with you EDD. 10/14
- It is a tough day! However I would rather play frogger in the middle of I-95 than use a can of cancer bunny pellets! 10/14
- Hell ya f the nic bitch and Mondays! 10/14
- Quit because it is the right thing to do, not because it is easy or I MIGHT fail. I quit w/u today 10/14
- TGIQ (Thank God I Quit) 10/14
- I hate Nicotine but I love your quit - NateMcP - 10/14
- I now despise weeds, tobacco is no different than an dandelion must be extracted and dealt with. 10/14
- When I grew up I never wanted to count by 1's. Now it is the first thing I do! 10/14
- Don't lose sight of the toils my friend. It is went it is easy we err. 9/14
- Don't hate the Nic Bitch, because you have given it a persona. Which is more respect than it deserves 9/14
- Quitting is harder than being married, but I do it EDD. 9/14
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on November 25, 2014, 12:02:00 PM
I just want to say thank you for all you do here man. Every time we talk, you're spot on about making other quits stronger. You are constantly looking to improve yourself, the site, and everybody around you. Most importantly, you're epitomizing what this site is based on: Compassionate support and hard truths.

Keep up the good work man, and thank you for making my quit stronger.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on December 15, 2014, 11:06:00 PM
Quitting has opened my eyes, cleared my mind, and given me back the missing part. It has removed the self doubt and loathing with wisdom and passion. When I was confirmed the bishop said the holy spirit shall bless upon you a gift, it is now your job to listen, reflect, and grow until you find it. For many years I felt as if it had been a joke, like Santa skipping over my house. But in the last 144 days I have come to discover it is the gift of wisdom and words. I have the ability to use words to expresses thoughts and lessons that others struggle to make sense of. Quitting not only has restored my faith in myself but faith in God. By quitting with every day it has given me the strength to hope for tomorrow.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on December 29, 2014, 11:36:00 PM
I realize that I have no posted a true introduction to who I am and what brought me to being quit. This is no short story or easy one to tell. I want to share it but the positive is that I am here to tell it.

I am one of six kids, number 5, for those that must know. I always have had the chip on my shoulder about doing things my way, and having to prove myself in other peoples eyes. This lead me to stealing my grandfather Trues from the freezer at 12 or 13 years old. I would walk down to the beach and meet "friends" there to smoke them. This lead to smoking on camp outs, then in school. At that point we still could smoke on Campus at the High School. I was a full time smoker by the end of my freshman year of HS. Then they band smoking on campus, so I found ways of sneaking a couple here and there but only used when I was hanging out with certain groups of friends off campus. Surprising it was my scouting friends, and all of punk skaters didn't use tobacco. My parents thought the opposite.

The irony in this whole story, is I was a very good runner in high school. I did Cross-Country, Outdoor Track, my high school did not have indoor so I swam. In all that time I would smoke on and off, not thinking it was anything big. But fast forward to 1.5 months before graduation, had a potential track scholarship to Fordham University, just needed to break 4:40 in the mile. The last regular season meet I went 4:41, so I had 3 meets left to get there, the next practice I suffered a 3/4 partial tear of the Achilles Tendon. There goes my chances of the scholarship, so what the hell do I have to look forward to? So I started smoking full time, while I figured what the next step will be. So I decided that I would go to the small D2 school in the fall, I applied 1 week before graduation. Said that I would swim to rehab and try to be a walk on as a sophomore at Fordham.

During the 5 years I spent as an undergrad. I became not only addicted to skoal and alcohol but experimented with drugs from across the spectrum. I ended up in a lot of situations that I am not proud of, nor should anyone else. Some how some way, I found a way out. I met my wife, and she got me to walk away from the heavy drinking, but I kept dipping and smoking. (Alot more here for a later time)

The night of shame, as I look back at it as, was my wedding night. I got black out drunk and don't remember anything after dinner. I was told the details by multiple different parties. But lets say that I am lucky to be married to the same woman 8 years later. From that point in time, I have maintained control over my alcohol addiction, and maintain constant vigilance on that front.

But I kept dipping/smoking up until my oldest was born in 2008, and then it was full on ninja dipping until July 23, 2014, when I heard that same voice that I heard twice before. Once when I choose to walk away from the party life, the other time when I sobered up on the morning after my wedding.

I choose not to listen any more, I choose a different path to walk away from that voice. I want to make that the last and final time I have to listen to the voice due to shame. This process has allowed me to finally come full circle with the death of my oldest brother on 4-10-1992. My brother was the motorcyclist. (http://articles.courant.com/1992-04-10/news/0000203401_1_motorcyclist-crashes-motorcyclist-shot-shot-by-two-men) Each day is a step away from my former self, and a new step toward the new me. I have learned in all of this there is only one person that you have to prove anything to, that is yourself.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 14, 2015, 08:39:00 PM
Poof
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 18, 2015, 05:08:00 PM
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:Areas for growth for the next 180 days:A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jabr on January 18, 2015, 06:29:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:
  • I have saved my marriage
  • Improved my relationship with my children
  • Found strength and courage
  • Stopped hiding behind my addiction
  • Begun taking on the demons that I ran from
  • I put God back at the center
  • Made true connections that have helped in so many ways
Areas for growth for the next 180 days:
  • Focus on helping myself just as much as I help others
  • Commit to spending time that is for me
  • Work on my faults:
    • Stop focusing on the negatives
    • Listen to myself, just as I listen to others
    • Let others help
    • Be okay with letting go of control
A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Congrats, Candoit!

Your commitment of time to helping new groups in the fore- and background is impressive. I also look forward to reading your posts. You've brought your own style to KTC. I'll quit with you for another 180!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: beast42a on January 18, 2015, 08:04:00 PM
Quote from: jabr
Quote from: candoit
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:
  • I have saved my marriage
  • Improved my relationship with my children
  • Found strength and courage
  • Stopped hiding behind my addiction
  • Begun taking on the demons that I ran from
  • I put God back at the center
  • Made true connections that have helped in so many ways
Areas for growth for the next 180 days:
  • Focus on helping myself just as much as I help others
  • Commit to spending time that is for me
  • Work on my faults:
    • Stop focusing on the negatives
    • Listen to myself, just as I listen to others
    • Let others help
    • Be okay with letting go of control
A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Congrats, Candoit!

Your commitment of time to helping new groups in the fore- and background is impressive. I also look forward to reading your posts. You've brought your own style to KTC. I'll quit with you for another 180!
Congratulations Can do.....your only 146 days ahead of me....im honored to be quit with u
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Okie Hunter on January 18, 2015, 08:06:00 PM
Quote from: beast42a
Quote from: jabr
Quote from: candoit
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:
  • I have saved my marriage
  • Improved my relationship with my children
  • Found strength and courage
  • Stopped hiding behind my addiction
  • Begun taking on the demons that I ran from
  • I put God back at the center
  • Made true connections that have helped in so many ways
Areas for growth for the next 180 days:
  • Focus on helping myself just as much as I help others
  • Commit to spending time that is for me
  • Work on my faults:
    • Stop focusing on the negatives
    • Listen to myself, just as I listen to others
    • Let others help
    • Be okay with letting go of control
A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Congrats, Candoit!

Your commitment of time to helping new groups in the fore- and background is impressive. I also look forward to reading your posts. You've brought your own style to KTC. I'll quit with you for another 180!
Congratulations Can do.....your only 146 days ahead of me....im honored to be quit with u
Candy man! You have been a huge asset to KTC for my 107 days here. I appreciate what you have done for me. I hope you can continue to do it for yourself and others
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Scowick65 on January 19, 2015, 02:33:00 PM
Quote from: Okie
Quote from: beast42a
Quote from: jabr
Quote from: candoit
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:
  • I have saved my marriage
  • Improved my relationship with my children
  • Found strength and courage
  • Stopped hiding behind my addiction
  • Begun taking on the demons that I ran from
  • I put God back at the center
  • Made true connections that have helped in so many ways
Areas for growth for the next 180 days:
  • Focus on helping myself just as much as I help others
  • Commit to spending time that is for me
  • Work on my faults:
    • Stop focusing on the negatives
    • Listen to myself, just as I listen to others
    • Let others help
    • Be okay with letting go of control
A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Congrats, Candoit!

Your commitment of time to helping new groups in the fore- and background is impressive. I also look forward to reading your posts. You've brought your own style to KTC. I'll quit with you for another 180!
Congratulations Can do.....your only 146 days ahead of me....im honored to be quit with u
Candy man! You have been a huge asset to KTC for my 107 days here. I appreciate what you have done for me. I hope you can continue to do it for yourself and others
great post!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: 30isEnuff on January 19, 2015, 06:53:00 PM
Quote from: Scowick65
Quote from: Okie
Quote from: beast42a
Quote from: jabr
Quote from: candoit
Today is Day 180 that is a School Year!

That means today, I have been quit as long as it takes a child to learn all they can before they move to the next grade. I have accomplished more than I thought I could in these 180 days.

I have proven to myself that I can change, I am stronger than my addiction, and I have paid it forward. The success of others that I have helped along the way, has given me strength to forge on.

Positives of the last 180 days:
  • I have saved my marriage
  • Improved my relationship with my children
  • Found strength and courage
  • Stopped hiding behind my addiction
  • Begun taking on the demons that I ran from
  • I put God back at the center
  • Made true connections that have helped in so many ways
Areas for growth for the next 180 days:
  • Focus on helping myself just as much as I help others
  • Commit to spending time that is for me
  • Work on my faults:
    • Stop focusing on the negatives
    • Listen to myself, just as I listen to others
    • Let others help
    • Be okay with letting go of control
A single persons introspective review of their performance is necessary but the feedback of others is just as important. I invite you to give me feedback, observations, or thoughts about my last 180 days of quit here at KTC
Congrats, Candoit!

Your commitment of time to helping new groups in the fore- and background is impressive. I also look forward to reading your posts. You've brought your own style to KTC. I'll quit with you for another 180!
Congratulations Can do.....your only 146 days ahead of me....im honored to be quit with u
Candy man! You have been a huge asset to KTC for my 107 days here. I appreciate what you have done for me. I hope you can continue to do it for yourself and others
great post!
I like it, I love it, I want some more of it!!
Real quit = real living
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 20, 2015, 11:58:00 PM
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ George Orwell
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: bigreddude44 on January 21, 2015, 02:18:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ George Orwell
dude! you are a seriously awesome quitter! I'm pumped to be your titan brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 21, 2015, 08:39:00 PM
Today is yet another classic example of dealing with life, without nicotine crutch. I am not even in the back door when I find out that yet again I can not do anything right at work, and asked to account for everything that I have done for the last 6 months.

I know that I can not control what the intentions of others, and I can only control my own actions. Therefore I should not get pissed, stressed or upset at that which I cannot control. That is a hella challenge to separate the issues. But I am focusing on today, not tomorrow or yesterday, focus on today.

By focusing on today I can make direct changes to the outcomes. If I plan or lament I only get myself all worked up over nothing I can change. Screw that I focus on the fact I am quit and I can control that.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: canless2014 on January 21, 2015, 10:23:00 PM
One of the best things being quit has given me is the ability to block out every other issue, concern, complaint, etc. in my life and focus on one thing I can absolutely control. I am quit. You are quit.

Being quit won't make everything better at your job, or in my classes, but it's a hell of a good start if you ask me. Quit with you tonight and EDD, candoit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Scowick65 on January 22, 2015, 04:02:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Today is yet another classic example of dealing with life, without nicotine crutch. I am not even in the back door when I find out that yet again I can not do anything right at work, and asked to account for everything that I have done for the last 6 months.

I know that I can not control what the intentions of others, and I can only control my own actions. Therefore I should not get pissed, stressed or upset at that which I cannot control. That is a hella challenge to separate the issues. But I am focusing on today, not tomorrow or yesterday, focus on today.

By focusing on today I can make direct changes to the outcomes. If I plan or lament I only get myself all worked up over nothing I can change. Screw that I focus on the fact I am quit and I can control that.
bingo
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Derk40 on January 22, 2015, 06:35:00 PM
Quote from: Scowick65
Quote from: candoit
Today is yet another classic example of dealing with life, without nicotine crutch. I am not even in the back door when I find out that yet again I can not do anything right at work, and asked to account for everything that I have done for the last 6 months.

I know that I can not control what the intentions of others, and I can only control my own actions. Therefore I should not get pissed, stressed or upset at that which I cannot control. That is a hella challenge to separate the issues. But I am focusing on today, not tomorrow or yesterday, focus on today.

By focusing on today I can make direct changes to the outcomes. If I plan or lament I only get myself all worked up over nothing I can change. Screw that I focus on the fact I am quit and I can control that.
bingo
Keep at it! You got your head screwed on right today and are winning. ODAAT. I'm with ya.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 26, 2015, 08:33:00 AM
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy

We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change. - Katharine Hepburn

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as great and sudden change. - Mary Shelly, Frankenstein

Taking a new step, uttering a new word, is what people fear the most. - Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime  Punishment

Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own. - Brue Lee

Motivation and bathing are not permanent. That's why we need both everyday. - Zig Ziglar
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 26, 2015, 10:44:00 PM
As Children bring broken toys with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God, because he was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving him in peace to work alone;
I hung around and tried to hep with ways that were my own.
At last I snatched them up and cried "How could you be so Slow!"
"My child," he said, "what could I do? You never would let go."

Lauretta P Burns

Giving up control gives us more control in the end. It is like steering into the slide, doesnt make sense, but it works.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 29, 2015, 02:33:00 PM
@ 190 days

My wife and I decide that it is time to get some decent life insurance policies. (Both whole  term). So they ask about tobacco use, with in the last year. I say yes, my wife gives me a look...I said I quit 190 days ago. The agent says congratulations and moves on. But at the end, the say okay here is a test for HIV, hard core drug, and tobacco. It will pick up any traces of tobacco use over the last six months. If it comes back positive you can retest in 6 months and your rates will go down, okay? I said not okay, if I test positive you will be cashing in both of my policies that day.... He laughed, but I was dead serious, not only would my wife kill me, but I would have an angry mob forming out side of my house.

They had to send it to a lab to be analyzed, so no news is good news. I wanted it to change colors then and there, to prove to my wife that I am quit! So just like marriage I have to hurry up and wait.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 31, 2015, 11:01:00 PM
My Responses to the HOF Questions: So Ya I kinda wrote my own roast.

My Dearest Condicktors,
As I respond to your latest query about my quit historical prospective and background information about my late night jaunts with the fish-netted tranny siren of nicotine, We began our elicit love affair some time in my 13th year, this tepid relationship continued until my 18th celebration of my birth. At this point, I was no longer required to keep this relationship in the shadows, and continued until this past July, when I kicked that diva of ill-repute square in her hevous. This outburst of rage, 175,200 hours in the making, fissured our relationship to the point where I can now see clearly, that her voice makes Fran Drescher sound like Talyor Swift. It, was that point, I realized my life was controlled by a hopeless 40-something Jewish Woman from Long Island, and I was her back up plan.
This realization, that I was somehow okay with being controlled, caused me to kick that Lincoln Tunnel of Sluts to the curb. This now has allowed me to fix and build my relationships with the wife and daughters (2). However my canine companions are rather perturbed by my less frequent trips outdoors to "wax poetically" about the less finer points of life.
My ekeing out a living in this bastion of Liberalism, New Haven, Connecticut stands as a proud reminder that we all do not need to possess common sense or morals to make it ahead in life. As growing up and raising a family in such a knowledge-filled environment has given me many insights to how one can smell the bullock when you approach, count how many Yalies can outsmart, and know who is there for the long haul. While I sifted through the compost that was to become a vintage unlike any other of quitter brethren (and sistren), I found several key enlightened thinkers amongst the phallic  methane release humor, that helped the vines of quit take root, each supplying their own unique blend of fertilizer.
Lim25, who's quick (thrust) action brought me in to the fray, who's skills were no doubt honed by years of playing hide and seek with the one eyed wonder weasel; SouthPackPawCrusher who's ferrous rule of accountability withstands the test of time, like a sandcastle in a hurricane; Old Man Thomas, a brother shows how one can overcome anything, but smokes more meat than Hillshire Farms; BigRedCouch, a true ginger and the only man that can make Chuck Norris fill his britches with post digested waste; Our couple that showed all of us that true love can overcome any hurdle (or restraining order), Thutchikins and BoneInDaAss
And I dare not forget to mention The Bad Ass Mother who kept my quit on straight in the first 30 days, the wisdom imparted between mason jars and test tubes serve all Titians well. While many more Titians are a critical part of the mechanism that keeps us quit, each is a cog in the transmission of quit. Some have to be disengaged and reengaged to keep us moving forward.
As I began this retrospective of quit I would be remiss if I did not provide credit to the AAA travel agents of quit. This crackerjack team earned my five star rating, for the centennial breakfast of oatmeal and freeze dried coffee, alone. Sir Derek, McCamno, and Wastepanel all deserve a raise for their work: I have spoken to the higher ups and worked out a deal for all of you -- you are allowed to take a day off from the office on November 27th, and you will get paid. Don't thank me now, because I know you all work like I get paid: very little and once every two weeks.
Reflecting with awe and wonder of the beginning steps as I crawled from the primordial ooze of the spittoon, I often found myself reading and trying to join the conversation anyway I could. With the eagerness of a 17 year old virgin on prom night, I engaged and found my quit voice. However, as any 17 year old virgin can tell you, you strike out alot; more often than not, you finish the job in the shower.
As far as the "fun" questions go, I shall respond in some resemblance of tact and decorum.
7a.) Most bizarre place you've had sex with another? In a life guard tower.
13.) How many tattoos do you have? I have four tattoos
14.) How many do you regret getting? Zero
17.) Best president ever besides a young horseback riding Vladimir Putin? Why? Lincoln, dude had one hell of a beard, and was a bad ass that didn't quit.
21.) What's your entrance music for your next fight? Dropkick Murphy's Cadence to Arms
35.) What's the dumbest thing you've ever done that directly resulted in an injury to yourself or another? Using quads to pull sleds down unplowed streets at 45 mph that resulted in a broken hand and then we did it again and sprained an ankle. Oh my father in law was driving the quad as our wives watched.
So my condicktors of this HOF express, I hope this meets the requirements you have set forth in the obligation and request for the amassing of information of the aforementioned quitter. Namely, Candoit, aka, Mr. C, aka Candy, aka Cando, aka Candy man
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 04, 2015, 09:30:00 PM
I quit for today
Twenty four hours I can succeed
This I can control
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: canless2014 on February 04, 2015, 09:43:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
I quit for today
Twenty four hours I can succeed
This I can control
And then we'll do it all over tomorrow.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 06, 2015, 10:31:00 PM
Godspeed my friend.
Today may we find the wisdom in our challenges.
The inspiration from our surroundings, and the comfort in the company we keep.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 07, 2015, 11:08:00 AM
200 days ago, I choose to make a promise, not to use nicotine what so ever for today. I have repeated that promise 200 times.

200 hundred times seems impossible but it is there every day, I am 200/200 with out missing one day of making that promise. That promise has kept the can out of my hand. This works ONLY if you honor your word.

That is a big IF....
If you are a person that can honor their word
If you are a person that can put their faith in others
If you are a person that can trust others
If you are a person that can believe in others
If you are a person that can hold themselves accountable
If you are a person that can hold others to the same accountability
If you are a person that can let people help
If you are a person that can help others
If you are a person that can share in brotherhood
If you are a person that can add value by being here
If you are a person that can not use excuses to hide from the truth
If you are a person that can face the truth
If you are a person that can make a promise every day
Then ...You CAN DO IT!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FMBM707 on February 08, 2015, 11:24:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
200 days ago, I choose to make a promise, not to use nicotine what so ever for today. I have repeated that promise 200 times.

200 hundred times seems impossible but it is there every day, I am 200/200 with out missing one day of making that promise. That promise has kept the can out of my hand. This works ONLY if you honor your word.

That is a big IF....
If you are a person that can honor their word
If you are a person that can put their faith in others
If you are a person that can trust others
If you are a person that can believe in others
If you are a person that can hold themselves accountable
If you are a person that can hold others to the same accountability
If you are a person that can let people help
If you are a person that can help others
If you are a person that can share in brotherhood
If you are a person that can add value by being here
If you are a person that can not use excuses to hide from the truth
If you are a person that can face the truth
If you are a person that can make a promise every day
Then ...You CAN DO IT!!!
Belated BOG CONGRATS on hitting the 2nd floor Candoit! You are a rock solid quitter and you pay it forward! Congrats on all you've accomplished and your commitment to making a change and a difference. You're setting a great example. Proud to be quit with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 08, 2015, 09:37:00 PM
The almighty creator created all, in doing so he created tobacco and choice.
We all have the choice to use or quit.
We all have the choice to acknowledge or deny.
We all have the choice to remember or forget.

It is the daily choices that we make that keep us quit.

I choose to quit
I choose to use KTC
I choose to acknowledge I am an addict
I choose to deny nicotine
I choose to remember that I make the choice to quit every day
I choose to forget nothing about my past choices.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Frazzled on February 09, 2015, 10:01:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
The almighty creator created all, in doing so he created tobacco and choice.
We all have the choice to use or quit.
We all have the choice to acknowledge or deny.
We all have the choice to remember or forget.

It is the daily choices that we make that keep us quit.

I choose to quit
I choose to use KTC
I choose to acknowledge I am an addict
I choose to deny nicotine
I choose to remember that I make the choice to quit every day
I choose to forget nothing about my past choices.
I choose to quit with you today, candoit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Vguy on February 20, 2015, 02:04:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Today is 79 days in to being Nic Free. I think about the past 15 days of my quit, and oh how have I changed.

This morning I was pissed about stupid shit at work, like I need to be next to my office phone to make calls. But the phone was moved on Monday to my new office, upstairs from the basement (old office), but found out they never moved my desk, and it was not being moved till oh next Wednesday. So what did i do I got a hand truck and moved my desk my self (no elevators). So I was also dealing with a pissy client that I didn't return emails or the phone calls from yesterday. He called me at 7:00 pm and emailed at 11 pm, and by the way he is not paying the 750 per day fee for my services, this is all for free. I go back to day 50 this would of derailed my entire day, go back to day 25 I would of stayed home to protect the quit, and 25 days before that, I would of gone for a coffee run (packed a fat lip full of cancer seed) come back switched to ninja mode and gut it for about the next 3 hours, till I was back in the car. But chatting with a Titian of Quit October 2014, I realized that about a year ago I was in a 4+ hour lock down, when a "gun man" was spotted on Yale campus. At the time I was working in a school in the area, due to its proximity it was locked down. What did that mean? It was part of my job to sweep the halls and ensure all students are in classrooms and all doors are locked, then I shelter in place. I ended up in an empty classroom for the entire time. So what did I do, well i drained the cell battery and then lamented about how I didn't have a tin with me, it was in my bag in my office. I was pissed that I had time to kill, an empty classroom, and even better an empty coffee cup. But the best part of this story, I had to shit in a trash can, because it happened from 11 am to 4 pm. Right before lunch, plus as a teacher you only have a 15 to 30 minute window of time to shit or talk to adults per day. But i was more upset that I didn't have my can of mint flavored cancer turds on me, then shitting in a trash can or a possible "gun man" on the loose. It turned out that it was a hoax called in from a pay phone (this happened in 2013 Google it).

But I digress about that incident a year ago. I was a teacher and I was being used for my skills and talents, but continually passed over for the leadership roles, because of who/what I was. I blamed it on a lot of things, but I knew there was a glass ceiling and it was time to leave. I left the classroom in December of 2013. This was one the hardest choices I made, but it was the right one. Why? I think back to what I was doing and how I got to where I was, it was because I pushed the envelope I was not complacent, I always risking, pushing the edge of comfort for myself and the students. I embraced failure, I created a culture of failure, I forced my students to fail, I taught failure, and I was damn good at it.

A culture of failure, is not living life as a failure, but how do I react when I do fail, how do I move on, how do I deal with it mentally, how do I seek help for what I do not know, how do I recognize that which I do not know, and how to I not fail at the same thing twice. I do not care what subject a teacher teach's, but if they are not teaching how to deal with failure through the content, they are doing nothing more than wasting time. I cared more about learning how to teach hard work, self reliance, self esteem, and pride than I did chemistry. Chemistry was the mechanism in which I could set up controlled failures to teach them how to trouble shoot, have faith in themselves. I always started the year off, with a lab that would never work or give them what the "book said it would" Why? Because they all doubted themselves, not the directions or the book. Even if they responded correctly, I always asked are you sure? Why? Because if you really trusted yourself and didn't look at the teacher as the wise sage on the stage, you would push back at the positional authority and stand up because you know it is right.

Chemistry is hard for many reasons, but the largest is that we study atoms and their behavior. That isn't hard, what is hard is that we observed the large scale interactions (macro scale) and from that we deduce what is going on at the atomic scale. So why is that relevant, well it is completely reverse of the way we learn all other subjects. We observe the effect from that we figure out the cause.
Here's the example I always used:
"Describe the wind?"
Could you answer that? Right now, no Google, no phone a friend, no text, no book, just your thinking and completely justify it with concrete examples and numerical data? I would wager that the majority of you would say it is something moving, like leaves or a tree or trash, or a house in Kansas. But you all gave me examples of effects not causes. That is how chemistry works, we see the effects and from there have to figure out the reasons.

But a year ago I realized I no longer was that teacher that embraced a culture of failure or deep logical thinking and conversation. I stopped because I had become disenfranchised. I had a choice I can take a risk and fail, or become the teacher that has lost the passion. I took the risk with the full knowledge I could fail, I was fine with that. I couldn't go in planning to fail, but I go in aware that it could happen and I will do everything I can to ensure it doesn't happen.

79 days ago, July 23, 2014, I took another risk knowing full well that I have failed every time I tried before. But i knew I had i to do it differently, so I joined and posted roll. This has been one hell of a risk for me, to put your faith in a complete group of strangers and hope that this works based on the stories and words posted here. But how is that different than walking into a new school, or the 1st day of a new school year?

Everyone always asks the same three questions of the teacher/professor/BAQ they just meet:

1) Who are you?
2) Why should I listen to you?
3) Why should I care?

If you fail to answer any of these questions by the end of the first interaction, then you are done. I don't care who you are, you may not realize it or even consciously think about it, but you do ask these questions.

Why does this matter? I kept my keyboard quite last night as two groups of quitters unleashed a pissing contest all over a new quit group. Am I a proud Titian Hell Fucking Yeah I am, but at the same time what I saw turned my stomach.

Call me a special butterfly, snowflake, a fuvking ghey phag, a cocknow user, or what ever else you want to, but take the pissing some where else. I took what happened a month ago too damn personal, but now you all have stepped over the line. This is scaring a new class of quitters, who all are taking a huge risk and putting their faith and trust in all of us not just one month. ALL OF US. I am not going to point fingers at who started that or who I think should apologize, because that is not my job or my place. However, it is my place to stand up for those who do not know any better or are too scared to say something in a place they do not feel comfortable, to begin with.

I have reached out to new quitters and they are scared to use Kakao, because they see the way it is talked about here, just like the quit lite. I saw the attack on one the veterans, who was one of the first few to reach out and welcome my messed up ass here. His message was clear: Honor your word to not use nicotine today, and protect it by any means necessary.

Protect your honor by any means necessary, I forgot what that was, until today, 365 days from when I was shitting in a trash can.

I am an educator who firmly believes in teaching and supporting those who take risks. The largest part of that is teaching them how to deal with the failure, and move forward stronger and with their heads held a little higher, with pride. A large part of that lesson is owning up to the errors and consequences of the failure (this is the students part) but my part is the hardest one:
Keep my mouth shut long enough for them to let them own up and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Do I call bullshit? Yes
Do I demand more? Yes
Do I ensure that they understand what they did wrong? Yes
Am I disappointed in their choices? Yes
Am I disappointed that they knew better? Yes
Am I disappointed in myself for not doing something differently? Yes
But do I linger on it? Yes
Do I hold it against them? No

If I want to grow better people they need to be held accountable, but they also need to know that tomorrow is a new day, and that I will be their for them just as I was today. Will any of my expectations or demands change, no never.

So I am protecting my honor, and the honor of those who have yet to learn or remember what honor is, people will fail, you all failed last night at being the role models for January 2015. But know this tomorrow I will be back here, post roll, wish everyone in Kakao a good morning, text NateMcP, PrOf, FredR, and McCamno, and be waiting for my expectations of all of you to be met. And I will continue to do that every single day of my life because I choose to protect my honor and I have pride what I do.
Some interesting parallels to our discussion today! Been good to ride the first parts of your ride with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 10, 2015, 12:08:00 AM
Rule #1 No leaving ever.

Why?

We are addicts, we are never cured. Being here and accountable is the only way any of us have been successful. We lied straight to the faces of our loved ones, repeatedly. What makes you think that will change?

We call you on your bullshit, because we know it, they don't.

Everyone here get's butt hurt from time to time. But that is no reason to walk away. The only person that hurts is you. You came here to quit, everything else is a bonus.

There is no such thing as cured. Cured is the nic bitches biggest lie.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on March 10, 2015, 12:18:00 AM
Quote from: candoit
Rule #1 No leaving ever.

Why?

We are addicts, we are never cured. Being here and accountable is the only way any of us have been successful. We lie straight to the face of our loved ones. What makes you think that will change?

We call you on your bullshit, becuase we know it, they don't.

Everyone here get's butthurt from time to time. But that is no reason to walk away. The only person that hurts is you. You came here to quit, everything else is a bonus.

Remember:
There is no such thing as cured. Cured is the nic bitches biggest lie.
Pretty timely shit right there. Thanks for the effort you put into the quit, it oozes all over the place.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 19, 2015, 10:09:00 PM
Posted in Oct 14 on March 18 2015
Who's In For 300?


Jeeptruck!!!!!!, BoneDiddley, Lours, Bumptex, Coach, trireb31 , Southpaw32, *****FLAW4MOD2015!!!*****, canless2014, Flaw, CDub27, Bam, DH10, GoDogs559, AquaDipper, swetty; FMBM707, AClowroller , Beef o Brady, TSJ12b, RainFire, Lim and lucifer, clairmontblues, GheyestQuittahtex, piercejt, ColoradoProud, CarlyRaeTex,Thatcher and Thutchi , RB1,JB24, umwolff, Brandt9913, GoDogs559, david.M, Candoit, BigRed, Brian85, Spitball, SuperBone
Two of the former members had their names on that list for promising that they were in this for another 100 days. And they caved because they didn't not have the testituclar (ovarian) fortitude to power through or enough pride to put the ego aside and ask for help.

But more important than that they forgot what that promise meant to themselves and to us. When we all posted our day 1's we had no idea what to expect or even if this would work. That promise to not to use nic for 24 hours, then we repeat. For many of us the fact the promise was for 24 hours made it doable, achievable, and realistic. As the days have past we have forgotten that this promise only lasts for 24 hours, and we need to make it every day for a reason.

Today may be easy, but we have no idea what tomorrow may bring. That I may be at the summit today, but tomorrow I could be back feeling like I am at day 1. That is life, but the fact I am a man of my word, and made my promise first thing in the morning, by posting on roll I will honor it today. That is why I will always make my promise.

They lost sight of what it means to post roll here every damn day, it is because of the accountability it gives us, which creates the brotherhood, which made us all successful. But that was built one day, one promise, at a time. Therefore it has to be practiced and used the same way in order to maintain it.

While we all need to focus on fixing the other parts of our lives that were on hold while we regained control, we can not forget that it was the daily promise and investment in each other that allowed to be in control again.

I can control today, I can not change yesterday, or know what tomorrow will bring. So I am making my promise for today, with all of you not to use for any reason.

Please consider what putting your name on roll  in the header means to you, because you still need to be willing to fight like hell to honor your word. The battle looks different but it is the same war.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on March 19, 2015, 11:57:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
Posted in Oct 14 on March 18 2015
Who's In For 300?


Jeeptruck!!!!!!, BoneDiddley, Lours, Bumptex, Coach, trireb31 , Southpaw32, *****FLAW4MOD2015!!!*****, canless2014, Flaw, CDub27, Bam, DH10, GoDogs559, AquaDipper, swetty; FMBM707, AClowroller , Beef o Brady, TSJ12b, RainFire, Lim and lucifer, clairmontblues, GheyestQuittahtex, piercejt, ColoradoProud, CarlyRaeTex,Thatcher and Thutchi , RB1,JB24, umwolff, Brandt9913, GoDogs559, david.M, Candoit, BigRed, Brian85, Spitball, SuperBone
Two of the former members had their names on that list for promising that they were in this for another 100 days. And they caved because they didn't not have the testituclar (ovarian) fortitude to power through or enough pride to put the ego aside and ask for help.

But more important than that they forgot what that promise meant to themselves and to us. When we all posted our day 1's we had no idea what to expect or even if this would work. That promise to not to use nic for 24 hours, then we repeat. For many of us the fact the promise was for 24 hours made it doable, achievable, and realistic. As the days have past we have forgotten that this promise only lasts for 24 hours, and we need to make it every day for a reason.

Today may be easy, but we have no idea what tomorrow may bring. That I may be at the summit today, but tomorrow I could be back feeling like I am at day 1. That is life, but the fact I am a man of my word, and made my promise first thing in the morning, by posting on roll I will honor it today. That is why I will always make my promise.

They lost sight of what it means to post roll here every damn day, it is because of the accountability it gives us, which creates the brotherhood, which made us all successful. But that was built one day, one promise, at a time. Therefore it has to be practiced and used the same way in order to maintain it.

While we all need to focus on fixing the other parts of our lives that were on hold while we regained control, we can not forget that it was the daily promise and investment in each other that allowed to be in control again.

I can control today, I can not change yesterday, or know what tomorrow will bring. So I am making my promise for today, with all of you not to use for any reason.

Please consider what putting your name on roll  in the header means to you, because you still need to be willing to fight like hell to honor your word. The battle looks different but it is the same war.
I'll drink to that...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on March 22, 2015, 09:33:00 PM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: candoit
Posted in Oct 14 on March 18 2015
Who's In For 300?


Jeeptruck!!!!!!, BoneDiddley, Lours, Bumptex, Coach, trireb31 , Southpaw32, *****FLAW4MOD2015!!!*****, canless2014, Flaw, CDub27, Bam, DH10, GoDogs559, AquaDipper, swetty; FMBM707, AClowroller , Beef o Brady, TSJ12b, RainFire, Lim and lucifer, clairmontblues, GheyestQuittahtex, piercejt, ColoradoProud, CarlyRaeTex,Thatcher and Thutchi , RB1,JB24, umwolff, Brandt9913, GoDogs559, david.M, Candoit, BigRed, Brian85, Spitball, SuperBone
Two of the former members had their names on that list for promising that they were in this for another 100 days. And they caved because they didn't not have the testituclar (ovarian) fortitude to power through or enough pride to put the ego aside and ask for help.

But more important than that they forgot what that promise meant to themselves and to us. When we all posted our day 1's we had no idea what to expect or even if this would work. That promise to not to use nic for 24 hours, then we repeat. For many of us the fact the promise was for 24 hours made it doable, achievable, and realistic. As the days have past we have forgotten that this promise only lasts for 24 hours, and we need to make it every day for a reason.

Today may be easy, but we have no idea what tomorrow may bring. That I may be at the summit today, but tomorrow I could be back feeling like I am at day 1. That is life, but the fact I am a man of my word, and made my promise first thing in the morning, by posting on roll I will honor it today. That is why I will always make my promise.

They lost sight of what it means to post roll here every damn day, it is because of the accountability it gives us, which creates the brotherhood, which made us all successful. But that was built one day, one promise, at a time. Therefore it has to be practiced and used the same way in order to maintain it.

While we all need to focus on fixing the other parts of our lives that were on hold while we regained control, we can not forget that it was the daily promise and investment in each other that allowed to be in control again.

I can control today, I can not change yesterday, or know what tomorrow will bring. So I am making my promise for today, with all of you not to use for any reason.

Please consider what putting your name on roll  in the header means to you, because you still need to be willing to fight like hell to honor your word. The battle looks different but it is the same war.
I'll drink to that...
Candoit you're a good man! You work hard for what you stand for. ..the QUIT my friend! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 26, 2015, 01:59:00 PM
Poof
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 29, 2015, 10:38:00 PM
So today is 250 days quit....
The Quarter Comma
Nothing monumental to say about today, other than I am not changing anything about what I am doing. It works period. I have no missed roll call in 250 days, I have only had one roll post after 12 pm, and I don't plan on anything changing for a very long time.

So I am 100% for 250 days, but I am still one bad decision away from starting over. I know that I have built up too much accountability to let any of that happen.

I want to succeed more today than I did 250 days ago. I am not that angry, scared, out of options, googling addict, I was. Now I am an addict with a different tool set, and building one hell of a new life with them.

So yeah am I happy at 250 days quit but that is today. Tomorrow is another day with a new promise and a new set of challenges, but I will meet them the same way I did today. Quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on March 29, 2015, 11:11:00 PM
Well done brother. Quit with you today!
One celebration at a time.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on March 30, 2015, 08:14:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
So today is 250 days quit....
The Quarter Comma
Nothing monumental to say about today, other than I am not changing anything about what I am doing. It works period. I have no missed roll call in 250 days, I have only had one roll post after 12 pm, and I don't plan on anything changing for a very long time.

So I am 100% for 250 days, but I am still one bad decision away from starting over. I know that I have built up too much accountability to let any of that happen.

I want to succeed more today than I did 250 days ago. I am not that angry, scared, out of options, googling addict, I was. Now I am an addict with a different tool set, and building one hell of a new life with them.

So yeah am I happy at 250 days quit but that is today. Tomorrow is another day with a new promise and a new set of challenges, but I will meet them the same way I did today. Quit.
That is amazing...looks good on ya brother. Thanks for your support.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on March 31, 2015, 12:17:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: candoit
So today is 250 days quit....
The Quarter Comma
Nothing monumental to say about today, other than I am not changing anything about what I am doing. It works period. I have no missed roll call in 250 days, I have only had one roll post after 12 pm, and I don't plan on anything changing for a very long time.

So I am 100% for 250 days, but I am still one bad decision away from starting over. I know that I have built up too much accountability to let any of that happen.

I want to succeed more today than I did 250 days ago. I am not that angry, scared, out of options, googling addict, I was. Now I am an addict with a different tool set, and building one hell of a new life with them.

So yeah am I happy at 250 days quit but that is today. Tomorrow is another day with a new promise and a new set of challenges, but I will meet them the same way I did today. Quit.
That is amazing...looks good on ya brother. Thanks for your support.
Congratulations can! You're a big inspiration to alot in here! I got my money on you staying quit till they bury you! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Medicff on March 31, 2015, 07:09:00 PM
Quote from: candoit
So today is 250 days quit....
The Quarter Comma
Nothing monumental to say about today, other than I am not changing anything about what I am doing. It works period. I have no missed roll call in 250 days, I have only had one roll post after 12 pm, and I don't plan on anything changing for a very long time.

So I am 100% for 250 days, but I am still one bad decision away from starting over. I know that I have built up too much accountability to let any of that happen.

I want to succeed more today than I did 250 days ago. I am not that angry, scared, out of options, googling addict, I was. Now I am an addict with a different tool set, and building one hell of a new life with them.

So yeah am I happy at 250 days quit but that is today. Tomorrow is another day with a new promise and a new set of challenges, but I will meet them the same way I did today. Quit.
250 is a great accomplishment Cando.

You make me proud with all that you have faced up to.

Quit with you today and any damn day.

Medicff
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on May 18, 2015, 11:47:00 AM
Happy 3rd floor, congratulations man!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on May 18, 2015, 03:24:00 PM
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: basshaug on May 18, 2015, 03:50:00 PM
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on May 18, 2015, 04:11:00 PM
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on May 19, 2015, 06:14:00 PM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Congrats...but mostly, thank you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on May 19, 2015, 06:38:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Congrats...but mostly, thank you.
We all appreciate what you do Candoit! Congrats my friend!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Air Force ADDICT on May 19, 2015, 10:54:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Congrats...but mostly, thank you.
We all appreciate what you do Candoit! Congrats my friend!
Proud to be QUIT w/ you bro!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tuco on May 19, 2015, 11:52:00 PM
Quote from: Air
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Congrats...but mostly, thank you.
We all appreciate what you do Candoit! Congrats my friend!
Proud to be QUIT w/ you bro!
Well done and good shit, Cando. On to one year and the 4th floor.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CastleHusky on May 20, 2015, 02:17:00 AM
Quote from: Tuco's
Quote from: Air
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: I'm
Congrats on this HUGE milestone. I cant thank you enough for all the input you have had in my own quit. Keep leading bro!
Congrats on the third floor bro.
That's a lot of quit.

Keep up the good work my good sir.
Congrats...but mostly, thank you.
We all appreciate what you do Candoit! Congrats my friend!
Proud to be QUIT w/ you bro!
Well done and good shit, Cando. On to one year and the 4th floor.
Nice job, Candi. 300 long days of quitting and giving back makes for one hell of a BAQ.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 23, 2015, 02:41:00 PM
Dropkick Murphys Boys on the Docks....

Say hey Johnny boy, the battle call.
United we stand, divided we fall.
Together we are what we can't be alone,
We came to this country, you made it our home.

This man so humble, this man so brave.
A legend to many, he fought to his grave.
Saved family and friends from the hardship and horror,
in a land of depression he gave hope for tomorrow.

Say Johnny me boy, this ones for you.
With the strength of many and the courage of few.
To what do we owe this man who's fight
was for the masses, he gave his life.

Say hey Johnny boy, the battle call
United we stand, divided we fall.
Together we are what we can't be alone,
We came to this country, you made it our home.

A friend to the locals who dabbled in crime.
He'd give you a job and he'd give you his time.
He wasn't a crook, but he couldn't be conned.
John knew the difference between right and wrong.

Say Johnny me boy, you live no longer,
Others forgotten, your memory's stronger.
Lets drink to the causes in your life:
Your family, your friends, the union, your wife.

Say hey Johnny boy, the battle call.
United we stand, divided we fall.
Together we are what we can't be alone.
We came to this country, you made it our home.
[x2]

And the boys on the docks needed John for sure.
When they came to this country he opened the door.
He said "Man I'll tell ya, they don't like our kind.
Though it starts with a fist it must end with your mind."

Say hey Johnny boy, the battle call.
United we stand, divided we fall.
Together we are what we can't be alone.
We came to this country you made it our home.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 20, 2015, 07:28:00 AM
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on July 20, 2015, 09:47:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Dad is better title than principal. That is awesome! There will always be job opportunities but you only have your chance to be a dad once in life. You will get through this you very smart man and strong willed! Good luck on your business. Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on July 20, 2015, 11:10:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Thanks for posting this Candoit. Some ring true already, others I look forward to experiencing. Good way to jump off this week. Quit with you today.

King
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on July 20, 2015, 12:37:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Thanks for posting this Candoit. Some ring true already, others I look forward to experiencing. Good way to jump off this week. Quit with you today.

King
Keep killing it every day man.

Proud of you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on July 20, 2015, 12:49:00 PM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Thanks for posting this Candoit. Some ring true already, others I look forward to experiencing. Good way to jump off this week. Quit with you today.

King
Keep killing it every day man.

Proud of you.
Glad I caught on to your shirt-tail.
Strong quit to follow. Sincere Thx.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 20, 2015, 04:29:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Pab194
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Dad is better title than principal. That is awesome! There will always be job opportunities but you only have your chance to be a dad once in life. You will get through this you very smart man and strong willed! Good luck on your business. Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Thanks for posting this Candoit. Some ring true already, others I look forward to experiencing. Good way to jump off this week. Quit with you today.

King
Keep killing it every day man.

Proud of you.
Glad I caught on to your shirt-tail.
Strong quit to follow. Sincere Thx.
Today is what we control. The more support we have the easier today is. Thank you all.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on July 21, 2015, 12:24:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Pab194
Quote from: Candoit
363 days... The same forwards and backwards, a palindromeic number.

My life is almost palindromeic.

The stress, the same as a year ago.
The pressures from life, the same as a year ago.
The way I deal with the pressures and stress, not the same as a year ago.

I was under the false pretense that I needed to have nicotine in my system to cope and overcome those stressors.

I this last 363 days I have:
- Saved my marriage
- Lost control of my career
- Fought anxiety
- Developed tools and strategies to overcome
- Fought to keep my job
- Realized that it is a job and not who I am
- Began to regain control by no longer changing who I am fo the sake of others
- Resigned from my job
- Sued my former employer
- Won a 4 month paid vacation.
- Got blacklisted in education
- Realized that my children pay more than any job
- Dad is a better title than principal
- Concluded that one does not need 30 desks and 4 walls to be a teacher. Just an opportunity.
- Choose to start my own business

That choice brought back the stressors on the marriage. But I am 100% nicotine free, through out all of this. I haven't focused on a set amount of days, just get to tomorrow. Today is doable, beyond that is too much.

I quit for today.
Dad is better title than principal. That is awesome! There will always be job opportunities but you only have your chance to be a dad once in life. You will get through this you very smart man and strong willed! Good luck on your business. Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
Thanks for posting this Candoit. Some ring true already, others I look forward to experiencing. Good way to jump off this week. Quit with you today.

King
Keep killing it every day man.

Proud of you.
Glad I caught on to your shirt-tail.
Strong quit to follow. Sincere Thx.
Today is what we control. The more support we have the easier today is. Thank you all.
I've learned plenty from you Cando and I want to thank you for that. I know that if you put the kind of passion you have for quitting into a business, or just about anything for that matter, you will succeed. Women are another matter completely.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: oakTree on July 22, 2015, 08:32:00 AM
Congrats on one stellar trip around the sun. That is good stuff and a fine example. Thank you.

Best of fortune with your new life, clarity and endeavors.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: invader on July 22, 2015, 08:39:00 AM
Congratulations on 1 year!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on July 22, 2015, 08:41:00 AM
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on July 22, 2015, 09:36:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on July 22, 2015, 09:38:00 AM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on July 22, 2015, 10:22:00 AM
Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on July 22, 2015, 12:22:00 PM
Oops!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on July 22, 2015, 12:23:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
You rock, my intellectually stellar quit-friend!! Does my heart good to see you sharing the quit wisdom as far and wide as the eye can see. You, sir, are truly a BAQ.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on July 22, 2015, 01:56:00 PM
Congrats bro! Your a Bad Ass and I appreciate the role you have played in my quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: quark on July 24, 2015, 09:03:00 PM
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
You rock, my intellectually stellar quit-friend!! Does my heart good to see you sharing the quit wisdom as far and wide as the eye can see. You, sir, are truly a BAQ.
Congrats on your journey around the sun! You've helped make quite a few lives better.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: randall on July 25, 2015, 10:00:00 PM
Quote from: quark
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
You rock, my intellectually stellar quit-friend!! Does my heart good to see you sharing the quit wisdom as far and wide as the eye can see. You, sir, are truly a BAQ.
Congrats on your journey around the sun! You've helped make quite a few lives better.
Congrats Candy! You are the man. When anyone doubts you just recall this. "Bitch please. I'm the Candy Man" 'archer'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: DWEIRICK on July 26, 2015, 03:07:00 AM
Quote from: Randall
Quote from: quark
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
You rock, my intellectually stellar quit-friend!! Does my heart good to see you sharing the quit wisdom as far and wide as the eye can see. You, sir, are truly a BAQ.
Congrats on your journey around the sun! You've helped make quite a few lives better.
Congrats Candy! You are the man. When anyone doubts you just recall this. "Bitch please. I'm the Candy Man" 'archer'
Congratulations Candy! Thanks for the help along the way!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Jerk11 on July 26, 2015, 09:56:00 AM
Quote from: DWEIRICK
Quote from: Randall
Quote from: quark
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Congratulations on 1 year!
1 year 10 years just keep doing what you're doing its needed! Congratulations my friend!
Congrats Cando!!!
Congratulations on your milestone of 1 year!
Enjoy it and here's to quitting with you today!
You have helped so many... but I thank you for helping me.

'chief'

'party2'
Candi on a sweetride to quitsville!Thanks for everything you do for the newbies, Cando. It goes a long way and is much appreciated. Hope all is well with your new biz. Proud to quit with you today.
You rock, my intellectually stellar quit-friend!! Does my heart good to see you sharing the quit wisdom as far and wide as the eye can see. You, sir, are truly a BAQ.
Congrats on your journey around the sun! You've helped make quite a few lives better.
Congrats Candy! You are the man. When anyone doubts you just recall this. "Bitch please. I'm the Candy Man" 'archer'
Congratulations Candy! Thanks for the help along the way!!
Congrats Candy on your Orbit around the Sun nicotine free. You are a Quit Behemoth around these parts, constantly bringing the Truth to the newer groups, laying down the law when needed, and giving inspiration at the right intervals of struggle.... your Leadership has not gone unnoticed, that's for sure... Here's to 400!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 02, 2015, 11:24:00 PM
There always has to be a tipping point. The question is what happens when we reach that point?

Alot of times we back pedal to the safe comfortable zone. For us addicts that is right back into a slow game of Russian roulette with a can.

That voice is the same one that makes us stay in jobs, relationships, routines, and many other things, it is fear.

Fear of Change. Fear of Failure. Fear of Making a Mistake. Fear of the Wrong Choice. Fear of Regret.

I have found that you have to do two things at this point.
1. Determine how much you want it.
2. Embrace the fear.

Fear is normal. However the ability to use fear to become successful, is abnormal. Embracing fear leads to success. Running to safety only perpatuates the norm.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 04, 2015, 09:27:00 AM
Today I am 378 days quit. Yet another feel closer to one month quit than on my 13th month.

Not craving like I will lick an ashtray. But constantly thinking about it. I made my promise and fight like hell everyday to keep it. I grow weary of those that either don't take this seriously or find no purpose in being here.

Those that read this that are less than 100 days. Do not get discouraged or think that it is impossible. You are looking at the sum of all the daily promises I have made.

Those that are greater than 100, you need to be here to keep the tools sharp. You never know what today holds. Plan all you want, however she does not follow your plan, and never will.

She feeds on weakness and exploits it every chance she gets. Just as water through many cycles of freezing and thawing can fracture mountains, she can destroy a quit with the same patience.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 05, 2015, 09:46:00 AM
Yesterday I had a tough day as far as my addiction went. It wasn't craves. I have had craves that literally brought me to my knees. That wasn't it. These were persistent thoughts...like a dip would taste great. If I have one I will be able to focus better. Why not? Just take my lumps and move on.

Guess what I pulled over and read KTC for almost an hour in a target parking lot. This is a constant reminder of the choices and actions we make. I choose to ignore those thoughts. I choose to honor my word. I put my quit above myselfish indulgence.

Make the right choice and embrace the hard choices. Those hard choices, may not pay off today or tomorrow, they will pay off in the long term. When you choose to reflect on the series of events that have happened you will realize why we do what we do here and how it pays off. I made it to post another +1, that is a huge vicotry no matter your day count.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 05, 2015, 11:09:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Yesterday I had a tough day as far as my addiction went. It wasn't craves. I have had craves that literally brought me to my knees. That wasn't it. These were persistent thoughts...like a dip would taste great. If I have one I will be able to focus better. Why not? Just take my lumps and move on.

Guess what I pulled over and read KTC for almost an hour in a target parking lot. This is a constant reminder of the choices and actions we make. I choose to ignore those thoughts. I choose to honor my word. I put my quit above myselfish indulgence.

Make the right choice and embrace the hard choices. Those hard choices, may not pay off today or tomorrow, they will pay off in the long term. When you choose to reflect on the series of events that have happened you will realize why we do what we do here and how it pays off. I made it to post another +1, that is a huge vicotry no matter your day count.
With you Candy man and thanks again for being there for me last night. Not in that way, but you know to help a brother pull through. Sick, not like that either. Anyway, thanks again bro, it won't soon be forgotten.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2015, 01:06:00 PM
Day 380

I hate the what if mental games. Asking for favors makes me feel like I cant do this on my own. Especially from family and friends.
My family doesn't ever ask anyone for help or favors. You do it on your own. Your veiwed poorly if you do.
So god forbid you reach out to someone for help. You are weak you wait for someone offers help to you. And I am the worst guy because I turned down help, to do a job I don't want.
I am ruining my life, because I am weak and need help. Fuk them.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 06, 2015, 01:13:00 PM
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2015, 01:36:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 06, 2015, 01:44:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Gotcha. Nonetheless, I quit with you anyway, and good luck with the business stuff.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 06, 2015, 11:20:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Gotcha. Nonetheless, I quit with you anyway, and good luck with the business stuff.
Thanks KN.

I am finding that I am almost reverting in away. About this point a year ago, I used the boards to share my thoughts and ideas. Not for any great purpose or reasoning, but just as a place to capture them.

Both Mcarmo and Wastepanel said it that there is an ebb and flow to activity here. I am really finding that to be true. But the phrase that stands out to me is that KTC is what you need when you need it. Believe it or not that is from Mcarmo.

I am truely frustrated and disappointed with myself for things that I can not control or change. I can not create money or business when there is none. Everyone says its a number game or just push through. I want to, I want to stay at Aflac. For the first time in my life I own my business. But it takes time. Time is something a stressed wife doesn't want to give me.
It is difficult when you have deeply ingrained morals, values, and expectations. So when you find something that meets all three and you can see that there is great potential, but the wife wants you give it up for instant finical security. What do you do?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on August 06, 2015, 11:37:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Gotcha. Nonetheless, I quit with you anyway, and good luck with the business stuff.
Thanks KN.

I am finding that I am almost reverting in away. About this point a year ago, I used the boards to share my thoughts and ideas. Not for any great purpose or reasoning, but just as a place to capture them.

Both Mcarmo and Wastepanel said it that there is an ebb and flow to activity here. I am really finding that to be true. But the phrase that stands out to me is that KTC is what you need when you need it. Believe it or not that is from Mcarmo.

I am truely frustrated and disappointed with myself for things that I can not control or change. I can not create money or business when there is none. Everyone days its a number game or just push through. I want to, I want to stay at Aflac. For the first time in my life I own my business. But it takes time. Time is something a stressed wife doesn't want to give me.
You started a business? What kind of business? I don't know what its like to start a business and because of that not have steady money coming in but I feel for you. What does it take to start seeing some revenue? I may not have the answers but maybe someone at KTC who reads this might have some pointers to offer? Or direction? Your a bad ass and have proven that hard work and perseverance will get you where you need to go. Hold your head high. Karma will come back to bless you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 07, 2015, 11:29:00 AM
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Gotcha. Nonetheless, I quit with you anyway, and good luck with the business stuff.
Thanks KN.

I am finding that I am almost reverting in away. About this point a year ago, I used the boards to share my thoughts and ideas. Not for any great purpose or reasoning, but just as a place to capture them.

Both Mcarmo and Wastepanel said it that there is an ebb and flow to activity here. I am really finding that to be true. But the phrase that stands out to me is that KTC is what you need when you need it. Believe it or not that is from Mcarmo.

I am truely frustrated and disappointed with myself for things that I can not control or change. I can not create money or business when there is none. Everyone days its a number game or just push through. I want to, I want to stay at Aflac. For the first time in my life I own my business. But it takes time. Time is something a stressed wife doesn't want to give me.
You started a business? What kind of business? I don't know what its like to start a business and because of that not have steady money coming in but I feel for you. What does it take to start seeing some revenue? I may not have the answers but maybe someone at KTC who reads this might have some pointers to offer? Or direction? Your a bad ass and have proven that hard work and perseverance will get you where you need to go. Hold your head high. Karma will come back to bless you.
It's not easy. On the one hand, you have your wife to take care of and make sure she's provided for. On the other hand, just like you can't quit dip for her, sometimes you have to make some decisions for you as well.

This is not an easy one, but I will say this. Whatever the decision, you and your wife both have to live with and deal with the consequences because it will affect both of you. I'm sure you've already done so, but maybe a nice quiet dinner out on the town where you can have a conversation for an hour or so and really hash out the pros and cons to both sides. It has to be a team decision, because if it's not, somebody is going to feel slighted.

It may also help to not just make the decision for the present. For example, maybe stick with Aflac for another year with the promise from your wife that a year from now, she'll go balls deep with you on your own business. Something like that where everybody wins.

Anyway, hope this helps Candy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 07, 2015, 11:16:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: KingNothing
If that was my attitude a couple nights ago, my quit would be toast right now. We've all tried to do this thing on our own before, with no success. Now look at all the guys on here that are quit because they used the tools they learned on here. I don't know what it's like to be on day 380, but that's a big damn number. Slam the door on the what-ifs. That's the devil playing games with you. Grab your ball and go home. Quit with you all day today Candy.
Sorry KN. This is nothing to do with quit. But getting my business off the ground. They want me to go back to a 9-5 salaried position, it is safe. Not that every job I ever had made me miserable.
Gotcha. Nonetheless, I quit with you anyway, and good luck with the business stuff.
Thanks KN.

I am finding that I am almost reverting in away. About this point a year ago, I used the boards to share my thoughts and ideas. Not for any great purpose or reasoning, but just as a place to capture them.

Both Mcarmo and Wastepanel said it that there is an ebb and flow to activity here. I am really finding that to be true. But the phrase that stands out to me is that KTC is what you need when you need it. Believe it or not that is from Mcarmo.

I am truely frustrated and disappointed with myself for things that I can not control or change. I can not create money or business when there is none. Everyone days its a number game or just push through. I want to, I want to stay at Aflac. For the first time in my life I own my business. But it takes time. Time is something a stressed wife doesn't want to give me.
You started a business? What kind of business? I don't know what its like to start a business and because of that not have steady money coming in but I feel for you. What does it take to start seeing some revenue? I may not have the answers but maybe someone at KTC who reads this might have some pointers to offer? Or direction? Your a bad ass and have proven that hard work and perseverance will get you where you need to go. Hold your head high. Karma will come back to bless you.
It's not easy. On the one hand, you have your wife to take care of and make sure she's provided for. On the other hand, just like you can't quit dip for her, sometimes you have to make some decisions for you as well.

This is not an easy one, but I will say this. Whatever the decision, you and your wife both have to live with and deal with the consequences because it will affect both of you. I'm sure you've already done so, but maybe a nice quiet dinner out on the town where you can have a conversation for an hour or so and really hash out the pros and cons to both sides. It has to be a team decision, because if it's not, somebody is going to feel slighted.

It may also help to not just make the decision for the present. For example, maybe stick with Aflac for another year with the promise from your wife that a year from now, she'll go balls deep with you on your own business. Something like that where everybody wins.

Anyway, hope this helps Candy.
I am a 1099 employee for AFLAC at 100% commission. It is built on educating people, selling and keeping a promise.

I am my own boss, I make my own hours, I get out what I put in. The fast successes here have a "warm" market that they can sell to. I do have a "warm" market however it is school systems. Those are at least 8 - 12 months worth of work before I see any money. Therefore I do not have a warm market, so I am building this from ground zero. I have built and filled my pipeline, but yet to close any accounts. So no closed accounts no money.

I need to close accounts. IDWC I am not asking for anyone to buy something from me, I do not feel right about it. I am always looking for someone to sit down and have a conversation, they just have to be in CT.

I came to this job, because I need to work for me and/or someone that shares the same values and sense of service as I have. I have found that in AFLAC, I can not believe how much I believe in their product and company, only after 2 months. I don't want to walk away, but I cant pay bills on beliefs and morals.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 12, 2015, 11:40:00 PM
Everyone here will face a serious challenge to their quit and their resolve to stay quit. Let me lay out a time line for you all...

July 17, 2014 - I go from being a ninja dipper to full out i dont give a fuck.
July 23, 2014 - I quit after I heard myself put dip ahead of my children.
1st weekend in August, 2014 wife and I go away and try to start to rebuild relationship
Oct 30, 2014 hit hall of fame
Nov 14, 2014 get a call from by boss saying we need to talk
Nov 16, 2014 asks for my letter of resignation
Nov 20, 2014 I refuse to turn it in and desicide to fight it

In between these two days, it is a daily fight with axenity, depression, and for my own confindnce. I ended up filing harassment and bullying charges against the school system.

Feb 26, 2015 I am given my remainder of my contract pay, and told to stay home.

In between these dates I find out some very meaningful things. Being dad is more important than any title. And I have been blacklisted and cannot get an interview in the state of CT for education. Take a position with AFLAC because it felt like it fit and I was in control.

June 30, 2015 last day of my pay

So no pay...work like a dog building my network. My relationship with my wife "begins" to melt down.

August 12, 2015 My wife tells me that the relationship is beyond repair. We talked for almost 60 min. The longest we have talked about us in a very long time. We have agreed to seek conseling, but don't know that if it will work. We realized that this has been swept under the rug for almost 4.5 years. The issue of no money coming in brought it to a head.

Guess what my first thought was? I should go buy a can because she doesn't care any more. Guess what Nic Bitch 'finger point' fuk u I am quit.

The moral of this is life happens and I gave all of you my word that I will be here to post 387 days quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: DWEIRICK on August 13, 2015, 05:25:00 AM
Stay strong Brother and I'm here if you need anything. I look up to you in this fight you are a pillar here at KTC keep doing what you do!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 14, 2015, 07:19:00 AM
I am so broken right now. I don't know how to deal with anything. It is my fault the marriage fell apart. We talked again for a while last night.

It comes down to the fact that I am broken and lost. She said that I am going through this "mid life crisis" and she can not do it. "What ever happened to the person you were? What did that woman (my boss last boss) do to you? You used to be confident and social, now you are a hermit and weak. I have to protect the girls and right now we can't do that. I don't know if our marriage can be saved, but you need to fix you before anything else."

I don't know how to fix me. I am out of ideas, I saught professional help before and it didn't help. I don't know even where to begin.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on August 14, 2015, 08:18:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
I am so broken right now. I don't know how to deal with anything. It is my fault the marriage fell apart. We talked again for a while last night.

It comes down to the fact that I am broken and lost. She said that I am going through this "mid life crisis" and she can not do it. "What ever happened to the person you were? What did that woman (my boss last boss) do to you? You used to be confident and social, now you are a hermit and weak. I have to protect the girls and right now we can't do that. I don't know if our marriage can be saved, but you need to fix you before anything else."

I don't know how to fix me. I am out of ideas, I saught professional help before and it didn't help. I don't know even where to begin.
I wish I could say something witty here, But all I have is my sympathy. Call or text if you need ANYTHING. QLF with you today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on August 14, 2015, 08:22:00 AM
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 14, 2015, 08:44:00 AM
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SamMan33 on August 14, 2015, 08:57:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
Just know God is in control candoit, I'll pray for you and your significant other. God always knows best.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on August 14, 2015, 08:57:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
You may be surprised. I have burnt many bridges - or so I thought. If you are contrite, you may find that the bridge isn't burnt. You also need to do whatever it takes to fight for what is most important to you.

You and I quit nicotine over a year ago, and speaking for myself, it was one of the hardest things I have done. If it was as hard for you as it was for me, then you are a fighter. You fought for your life and win on a daily basis, so now fight for your family and do what it takes.

And if you are religious, pray, I have seen many good things happen to people of faith.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 14, 2015, 09:07:00 AM
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
You may be surprised. I have burnt many bridges - or so I thought. If you are contrite, you may find that the bridge isn't burnt. You also need to do whatever it takes to fight for what is most important to you.

You and I quit nicotine over a year ago, and speaking for myself, it was one of the hardest things I have done. If it was as hard for you as it was for me, then you are a fighter. You fought for your life and win on a daily basis, so now fight for your family and do what it takes.

And if you are religious, pray, I have seen many good things happen to people of faith.
I am a RC. A recovering Catholic. I have faith and trust in God. He puts challenges and reality checks in our paths to see if we are truely listening. I thought I was listening and following him. But I feel like I am constantly paying pennence for bad choices and something I did.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Mancave on August 14, 2015, 10:09:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
You may be surprised. I have burnt many bridges - or so I thought. If you are contrite, you may find that the bridge isn't burnt. You also need to do whatever it takes to fight for what is most important to you.

You and I quit nicotine over a year ago, and speaking for myself, it was one of the hardest things I have done. If it was as hard for you as it was for me, then you are a fighter. You fought for your life and win on a daily basis, so now fight for your family and do what it takes.

And if you are religious, pray, I have seen many good things happen to people of faith.
I am a RC. A recovering Catholic. I have faith and trust in God. He puts challenges and reality checks in our paths to see if we are truely listening. I thought I was listening and following him. But I feel like I am constantly paying pennence for bad choices and something I did.
Just like the Nic bitch, that is the devil trying to trick you. All of us on this board know that you are a bad ass for quitting for so long, why not do the same with the devil and kick his ass out of your life. Give all your troubles to God and truly trust him. I will be praying for you my brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 14, 2015, 10:39:00 AM
Quote from: Mancave
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Are you a religious person?

When I am down - especially with money issues ( the last 5 years of my life) - I always look at what I do have. Do I have enough food for my family, fresh water, and roof over my head? Yes? Then I have it better than 60% of the world. You live in the US, and what I hope is a safe part of the country - bonus! Start there, and pull yourself up.
I have made $500 over the past two months. I had faith that I could make 100% commission work. In that time I had such blinders on I missed everything from helping hands to signs that it was in trouble. I now have burned so many bridges that I don't know if it is repairable.
You may be surprised. I have burnt many bridges - or so I thought. If you are contrite, you may find that the bridge isn't burnt. You also need to do whatever it takes to fight for what is most important to you.

You and I quit nicotine over a year ago, and speaking for myself, it was one of the hardest things I have done. If it was as hard for you as it was for me, then you are a fighter. You fought for your life and win on a daily basis, so now fight for your family and do what it takes.

And if you are religious, pray, I have seen many good things happen to people of faith.
I am a RC. A recovering Catholic. I have faith and trust in God. He puts challenges and reality checks in our paths to see if we are truely listening. I thought I was listening and following him. But I feel like I am constantly paying pennence for bad choices and something I did.
Just like the Nic bitch, that is the devil trying to trick you. All of us on this board know that you are a bad ass for quitting for so long, why not do the same with the devil and kick his ass out of your life. Give all your troubles to God and truly trust him. I will be praying for you my brother!
Candy man my brother. No one here knows what you're going through but you, we can only assume. I will say we all make poor decisions in life. You're a very smart person, step back look at what's going on in your life , figure out what's really gonna help you get out of this situation as wort said take care of what's most important to you take care of that first and foremost! My heart goes out to you , get down on your knees you will probably find your answers. You as well as anyone on here knows that only bad things follow the tin! Prayers to you and yours!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 14, 2015, 11:23:00 AM
Candy, our outlook on a situation often is a very large part of the eventual outcome. In sports for example, if you think you're beat the minute you step on the field, you've already lost. No amount of rah rah from your teammates, cheerleaders, or fans, will be able to divert the train you're riding to the L that day.

It's very easy to get down on yourself when things aren't going well, and the world seems poised to screw you over. On the other hand, "you ain't dead yet." That means the clock is still ticking for you.

As far as "fixing" you, I strongly encourage you to visit with a priest at you local church. Some of the most brutal situations I have ever faced, I have worked through with the help of a priest. I'm not a Bible thumper, but I go to church most Sundays, and God is a significant part of my life everyday. He has led me down some bumpy damn roads, but He has never, ever, put me in a situation I was unable to get through. There were times when I was positive that His streak was coming to an end, but every time He pulled through. He's like the Robert Horry of real life.

What I'm trying to say, is if you let God work His magic, He will.

I will pray for you brother. Grab the bootstraps, and do what you can today to have a better day than yesterday. If you can't find it in yourself to do so, find somebody that will help you get there. Whether that's God, a priest, your wife, a counselor, an old professor from college, doesn't matter. Find the spark again. It's like a water heater, the flame is always there and lit, but sometimes it can be a bitch to find.

Thoughts and prayers with you and your family as you battle this Candy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: howgoodgodis on August 14, 2015, 10:53:00 PM
OK Lord Jesus, I stand in the gap for our brother Candoit. You know his situation, you know where he is and where he stands. I pray with everything in me God that you step in. Take hold of him, his marriage, his family, his business. May you rock his world in such an awesome way that it makes his head spin. Open the windows of heaven and poor out blessings on him that he can not contain! Pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing! May you open doors that no man can open and close those doors that no man can close. He is broken and that is where you do your finest work God. May you set a hedge of protection around him and his family that no enemy can penetrate so that your grace may abound. May you make your presence known to him, tangible, wrap him up in your presence Lord. The enemy thinks he has a foot hold but that foot hold is lost as of right now!!! We and every brother stand with him to take back what you intended for him to have. Speak to his wife's heart Lord. Allow them both to hear your voice and enjoy the love that you have for them. You are a God of reconciliation. That's what you do Lord! I thank you Lord for our brother Candoit and all that you have allowed him to be on this site, to us that stand with him. I know that you've got him God. All the glory go's to you.
In Jesus' name, Amen
You WILL be continually lifted up my friend. As others have said, you need anything, just say the word. You have my number and as you said to me....Use it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 12:14:00 AM
At this point I have applied to 11 jobs in the past 24 hours
- UPS
- Macys x 2
- Lowes x 3
- Verizon Wireless x 2
- Sikoriksy
- Jenesen Communications
- A green home company

I put my truck, that I only use on the weekend up for sale.

Told AFLAC that I am done as soon as I find something that pays. But I cant seem to let go of it 100%, I dont know why, I think part of me knows that I could make it work at some point. But for now it needs to be done.

Tomorrow I need to apply to a minimum of 5 jobs. That is going to be my daily goal. I will post here for accountability sake.

I also need to figure out if I am going to go to a wedding with her tomorrow night. Her entire family will be there. I want to go but I dont know if she wants me there. She says it is up to me. IDK....so lost. I need to sleep on it.

Thank you all for the support. I am choosing to share it because this place is about fixing all of you and I need the support. KTC gives you more support than I can ever get face to face. The prayers, texts, messages, and posts do never go unnoticed or unread. I quit with you all every day.

I am going to at least continue to post about this in here. I need to document this journey for my sake. These next few weeks to months are going to be hard but I need to know I did everything possible.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 15, 2015, 12:29:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
At this point I have applied to 11 jobs in the past 24 hours
- UPS
- Macys x 2
- Lowes x 3
- Verizon Wireless x 2
- Sikoriksy
- Jenesen Communications
- A green home company

I put my truck, that I only use on the weekend up for sale.

Told AFLAC that I am done as soon as I find something that pays. But I cant seem to let go of it 100%, I dont know why, I think part of me knows that I could make it work at some point. But for now it needs to be done.

Tomorrow I need to apply to a minimum of 5 jobs. That is going to be my daily goal. I will post here for accountability sake.

I also need to figure out if I am going to go to a wedding with her tomorrow night. Her entire family will be there. I want to go but I dont know if she wants me there. She says it is up to me. IDK....so lost. I need to sleep on it.

Thank you all for the support. I am choosing to share it because this place is about fixing all of you and I need the support. KTC gives you more support than I can ever get face to face. The prayers, texts, messages, and posts do never go unnoticed or unread. I quit with you all every day.

I am going to at least continue to post about this in here. I need to document this journey for my sake. These next few weeks to months are going to be hard but I need to know I did everything possible.
Good on you brother. Sometimes it won't be easy, but it will always be worth it. Heard that around this place once or twice...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 15, 2015, 01:16:00 AM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
At this point I have applied to 11 jobs in the past 24 hours
- UPS
- Macys x 2
- Lowes x 3
- Verizon Wireless x 2
- Sikoriksy
- Jenesen Communications
- A green home company

I put my truck, that I only use on the weekend up for sale.

Told AFLAC that I am done as soon as I find something that pays. But I cant seem to let go of it 100%, I dont know why, I think part of me knows that I could make it work at some point. But for now it needs to be done.

Tomorrow I need to apply to a minimum of 5 jobs. That is going to be my daily goal. I will post here for accountability sake.

I also need to figure out if I am going to go to a wedding with her tomorrow night. Her entire family will be there. I want to go but I dont know if she wants me there. She says it is up to me. IDK....so lost. I need to sleep on it.

Thank you all for the support. I am choosing to share it because this place is about fixing all of you and I need the support. KTC gives you more support than I can ever get face to face. The prayers, texts, messages, and posts do never go unnoticed or unread. I quit with you all every day.

I am going to at least continue to post about this in here. I need to document this journey for my sake. These next few weeks to months are going to be hard but I need to know I did everything possible.
Good on you brother. Sometimes it won't be easy, but it will always be worth it. Heard that around this place once or twice...
Go with your wife ,face all of her family with your head held high! Candoit whatever you do, don't feel sorry for yourself my brother, remember you will get through this and whatever comes of this you must let it be God's will. You are a man and there still may be a chance you could make some really good money with aflac but sometimes it takes awhile to build up clientele. One things for sure your ktc family has your back. You got this! You will get a job.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: howgoodgodis on August 15, 2015, 02:17:00 AM
Go to the wedding brother. Go to the wedding.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 15, 2015, 07:12:00 AM
Why not get a regular job and keep doing Aflac on the side? Join some networking groups too. I do BNI and toastmasters. Works well with my regular sales job and side business. With the networking you will make new friends and land some new business. Plus volunteer with your kids activities and stuff too. I was in a bad place about a year ago and I resolved to get out in the world and mix it up. Things have gotten better. More people are buying from me. I'm now thinking of joining Kiwanas or something like that on top of the other stuff. just some thoughts in what helped me a while back. Thought maybe it would help you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: cbird65 on August 15, 2015, 07:31:00 AM
Echoing all the thoughts, prayers. LinkedIn is another great business networking platform
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 15, 2015, 08:13:00 AM
And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 09:04:00 AM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M
Grizz my father was the Kernel for years. I am an Eagle Scout and Vigil Honor, also was lodge chief. I have two girls 7  4, so I dont think Scouting is in my immediate future. I am considering getting back involved in Masonary. I need to get out of the house and stop being a hermit more than practice sales skills. My biggest issue is that when I quit forced me to deal with all of the shit that it hid. Add on top of that my career coming unraveled. I have been grasping at straws to try and regain some kind of foothold.

My wife is right that I am not the same person I was 13 months ago. I need to change. I need to find that new medium between what I was and what I need to change.

I am way to stubborn and need to prove that I can do it on my own. That has to change.
I used to be able to see the big picture and now I cant.
I used to be confident but now I am timid.
I used have no fear of failure, now it consumes me.
I know spend more time thinking than doing.

There is a happy medium and I don't know how to get there. I will someday.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 15, 2015, 11:56:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
And another thing. I just left Popcorn pick up for Cub Scouts. And I volunteer for fundraising for the Cub Scouts and I volunteer for fundraising for Little League. I think if you volunteer with whatever organization do the fundraising. Not many people want to do it. It'll give you good practice for sales and you'll find that raising funds for yourself is much easier. What I mean is: you'll learn that doing fundraising help should be passionate about pulling out money for the organization. And then you will hopefully realize that you can apply that's
M
Grizz my father was the Kernel for years. I am an Eagle Scout and Vigil Honor, also was lodge chief. I have two girls 7  4, so I dont think Scouting is in my immediate future. I am considering getting back involved in Masonary. I need to get out of the house and stop being a hermit more than practice sales skills. My biggest issue is that when I quit forced me to deal with all of the shit that it hid. Add on top of that my career coming unraveled. I have been grasping at straws to try and regain some kind of foothold.

My wife is right that I am not the same person I was 13 months ago. I need to change. I need to find that new medium between what I was and what I need to change.

I am way to stubborn and need to prove that I can do it on my own. That has to change.
I used to be able to see the big picture and now I cant.
I used to be confident but now I am timid.
I used have no fear of failure, now it consumes me.
I know spend more time thinking than doing.

There is a happy medium and I don't know how to get there. I will someday.
Wow, timid and fear are 2 words I would have never thought of to describe you! Use some of your knowledge and wisdom you put in here in real life. You can be very smart and at times intimidating on here. Stumbling blocks happen in almost everyone's life, you can choose to fight or lay down and I damn well know you're a fighter. Get off your ass and get it done whatever it is and whatever it takes. As far as your wife goes, stop and take time to see if it's you and don't wallow in your self pity! Sometimes we say things that sound a little harsh but often it takes a good swift kick in the nuts to wake us up! If I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't have already posted on this a half dozen times.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 15, 2015, 02:47:00 PM
I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 03:13:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.
I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grievous Angel on August 15, 2015, 03:23:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.
I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.
Candoit:

I went through this 17 years or so ago (with my first wife). I heard some of the same things.

I don't know what to tell you . . it was one of the darkest periods of my life.

But I will be thinking about you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: basshaug on August 15, 2015, 03:46:00 PM
Quote from: Grievous
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.
I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.
Candoit:

I went through this 17 years or so ago (with my first wife). I heard some of the same things.

I don't know what to tell you . . it was one of the darkest periods of my life.

But I will be thinking about you.
Me too brother. I'm always a text or phone call away.

You are a smart guy. You will land on your feet and eventually work your way into a position where you are truly happy and satisfied. Keep on fighting. Keep on trudging through.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Mcarmo44 on August 15, 2015, 04:03:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.
I know you are in a tough place and I'm here for you too man. But never forget your self worth comes from within not from another person. Is she is not in love with you it does not make you unworthy of it, it just means it's not the right fit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 15, 2015, 04:22:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
I'll tell you. Toastmasters is great. I love it. It's cheap too. I recommend it if you're looking to gain confidence. Plus you'll meet some cool people.
I will.

After spending the last hour crying my eyes out, I cant come to grips with just letting things go and happen. I want her to tell me right now how to fix it. I want to know that we will always be a family. I want to know that we will come out of this more in love than ever before. I keep asking her the same questions over and over.

But she is in a different place right now, I just need to hold onto her long enough to prove that I am worth loving.
Develop a plan. Develop a system. Tell your wife your plan and your system to get the income back up to where it needs to be. It's a process. It's a system. Tell her your system. Stick to your system every single day. It's just like quitting. Same dedication and same systematic behavior. Build your framework. Share with your wife. Get up every damn morning and work the fuck out of your system. Don't take no shit from no one. You are special. You can go out there and do whatever you want. Tackle it head on.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 04:36:00 PM
Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SirDerek on August 15, 2015, 04:49:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.
We all change, that is the nature of the beast when we quit nicotine. The addiction that covers up so much, we just need to take the deep breath and re-learn a lot about ourselves.

But as we all see, we are not alone when we quit. We let other know that we do. That will let them know that when our behavior changes, it explains a little of why we are doing what we do.

And as I have texted you, when I say we are not alone, that includes the families from all of us, as that is the point we should all strive to get to. I included my wife and kids in my quit, as I believe you have (and others). And it is with this involvement I mentioned for the significant others to reach out to one another. They have that unique perspective that can help in so many ways from their help to us, with just conversing with others.

We all came from a similar background, we turned to a poison to help. Now lets turn to each other and our families to help.

Never look too far down as there is much there for you (in life and work). The sun will shine. Just keep looking for it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 05:35:00 PM
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: Candoit
Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.
We all change, that is the nature of the beast when we quit nicotine. The addiction that covers up so much, we just need to take the deep breath and re-learn a lot about ourselves.

But as we all see, we are not alone when we quit. We let other know that we do. That will let them know that when our behavior changes, it explains a little of why we are doing what we do.

And as I have texted you, when I say we are not alone, that includes the families from all of us, as that is the point we should all strive to get to. I included my wife and kids in my quit, as I believe you have (and others). And it is with this involvement I mentioned for the significant others to reach out to one another. They have that unique perspective that can help in so many ways from their help to us, with just conversing with others.

We all came from a similar background, we turned to a poison to help. Now lets turn to each other and our families to help.

Never look too far down as there is much there for you (in life and work). The sun will shine. Just keep looking for it.
I thank you again SD. I can do this, I have to do this. I didnt quit for anyone but me. I need to fix this for me.

Let me find the me that was hidden behind the lies and addiciton.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on August 15, 2015, 06:42:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Right now my plan is...

Apply non stop for jobs. Stop this AFLAC shit now
Apply for unemployment benefits
Make enough money to support more than my share any way possible
Work on me. Dedicate time to working on me. Going to the gym, going out and being social again

Showing through actions that I have changed.
You need a system. Daily items that you complete, that are productive, that lead to increased income.

To help you develop and spur ideas for what you want to do, and how to develop your own system for increasing income, I recommend helping others in some fashion. For example, give to the homeless. Volunteer to help cook and serve food to homeless people at a nearby shelter. Do it once a week. You will notice there is a system in place to help these people in need. But the system requires volunteers. Once you give to others in such dire need your own situation will seem ridiculously easy. Plus you'll be inspired by helping others. Do it every week for the next year. I guarantee your own life will improve dramatically. Life is daunting. But you also need some perspective.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 10:25:00 PM
I am a mess. She just walked in from the wedding looked amazing, and I want to break down into tears.

I need to document this, for me. This is not a Candoit pity party. This is for me, to remind me of how stupid I was and what I am fighting for.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on August 15, 2015, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I am a mess. She just walked in from the wedding looked amazing, and I want to break down into tears.

I need to document this, for me. This is not a Candoit pity party. This is for me, to remind me of how stupid I was and what I am fighting for.
You and I haven't talked, but I know you. Because we are a lot alike.

We are both addicts. What you are experiencing is addict behavior. It is hard to let go and move forward, but once you harness and manage your response to change, you'll start winning again. Does winning mean you will save your marriage? I dunno. You cannot fix the past. You cannot control the future. But you can own today. I like the plan you outlined above. For the record, losing a job is a horrible experience - I've been there 3x. Put the feelings about that job and absolutely any and all negativity behind you. It is all a complete waste of your energy and is draining. Deliver pizza if you have to, but get busy doing something. You are clearly a talented guy - you'll land on your feet. Just remember - one foot in front of the other, and font look back.

You can do this.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: 30yraddict on August 15, 2015, 10:55:00 PM
Sorry you are going through this bro. Prayers and positive thoughts sent your way.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 15, 2015, 11:00:00 PM
Found this today... It really hit home
Quote from: btdogboy,Jul
Quote from: CoachDoc,Jul
OK...sleeping in an extra room in the attic, wife started looking for apartments for me to move into but realized we cant afford a mortgage and a rent.  So, yesterday morning she said we might consider turning the basement into an apartment, but didn't know what my "comfort level" would be still living in the same house if she were to move on, start going out with friends and even maybe going on a date, "if anyone is interested."  How the hell do you answer that?  Later, before I went to work in the ER yesterday, she said we should talk about maybe writing out a formal separation agreement. 

Pretty effed up, right?  Might wonder why I would post that here, huh?

I guess I was right when I said my marriage would end before my quit.

I post it here so that any of the other quitters having trouble with their spouses see that they are not the only ones.  Also, I put it out there so everyone knows that dipping wouldn't make any of this any better or easier to deal with.  Does that mean that I haven't thought about caving?  NO.  What it means is that I have used my numbers, I've called/texted my brothers and let them know I was struggling.  I came on here and re-affirmed my promise to remain quit for the day and reminded myself that I am quit.  If you have stayed quit for even one day, there is no-one that can take that quit away from you but you.
All right coach, youÂ’ve dished out enough tough love in your time on the site, itÂ’s about time you eat some of your own medicine! What the fuck is wrong with you? Your wife has turned you into a sniveling, self loathing, pussy! Sorry, but I bet it was the Marine in you, that she fell in love with! IÂ’ll bet it was the man you used to be that she felt obliged to have four sons with.

I will preface the rest of this statement by telling you that I am a single guy and I have never been married. I have no children, and I am happy with my life. I have recently separated with my last girlfriend after raising her and her two boys for over 11 years. I am still in touch with the boys, and now that I am my own man again, they want to be around me rather than that pussy I became with their fucked up mom.

WhatÂ’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. So fucking what if she is a Marriage Counselor. This never makes them more correct than you. IÂ’m a fucking engineer. You know what? All that means is I can duplicate what other people had to discover. IÂ’m not the genius, someone else was, and I just read the books. IÂ’m just piggy-backing. She studied shit for years and believes she knows the answers, then why is her relationship failing? She didnÂ’t see this coming? She didnÂ’t know how to stop it from happening?

No woman in the history of females has ever, ever, EVER!!! Fallen in love with a pussy-man. I’ve seen women with unattractive men and they say he is smart, funny, loyal, insightful… whatever. Never have I heard a woman tell anyone “I just love the way he folds like a cheap suit. I can tell him to do anything, and he is a complete pushover. I just love that about him!” They turn you into this man they despise and the whole time you think it will strengthen the relationship and then it has the opposite result. You know what she will find next? The “you” you used to be.

I believe Clampy sent you a copy of a book written by a complete fucking GENIUS! I will tell you that this book holds the key to your happiness. I have read this “holy grail” and I will tell you that it is the “relationship bible”. Then why am I single, you ask? Because in the end you will learn to promote your own happiness, and this will not necessarily mean it must be with the person that is beating you senseless. Would you set up your picnic next to the only pile of dog shit in the park? Read the book! Read it twice! Try something different.

Do you truly believe you cannot exist without this woman? Did you think you could live without chew? I think it was you that posted about fighting our conditioned responses. I think itÂ’s time to practice what you preach! I understand your love for the children, but let me ask you this; do you want them to observe that it is appropriate for a man to sleep in the basement while their wife has men over. To be conditioned to believe that a woman can walk on them as long as she feels superior? Think of one of your boys going through the same thing, what advice would you give them? Would it be different than the advice you would give yourself?

IÂ’m on your side buddy. YouÂ’ve been a great quit brother, and I am sorry for the difficult time, but at some point enough is enough. You are going to have to try something different. Even if itÂ’s wrong.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 16, 2015, 07:52:00 AM
Sunday morning - day 4
She is still sleeping. Girls are up and playing, all I want to do is go on like nothing changed. Not ignore it or pretend it didn't happen, but that it will all be okay.

I can't do that I think that is what bothers me the most right now, there is no instant fix.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on August 16, 2015, 02:45:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Sunday morning - day 4
She is still sleeping. Girls are up and playing, all I want to do is go on like nothing changed. Not ignore it or pretend it didn't happen, but that it will all be okay.

I can't do that I think that is what bothers me the most right now, there is no instant fix.
Prayers man.

Like quitting, life is a one moment at a time. Sometimes you come out on top. Sometimes you get knocked on your ass. But it's not how hard you hit back in this life. It's how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. (Thanks rocky).

Live in the moment and remember that the past is the past (both the good and the bad). Don't rekindle. Build. And if that don't work, well, it takes two to tango. You can only control your actions.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 16, 2015, 04:59:00 PM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Candoit
Sunday morning - day 4
She is still sleeping. Girls are up and playing, all I want to do is go on like nothing changed. Not ignore it or pretend it didn't happen, but that it will all be okay.

I can't do that I think that is what bothers me the most right now, there is no instant fix.
Prayers man.

Like quitting, life is a one moment at a time. Sometimes you come out on top. Sometimes you get knocked on your ass. But it's not how hard you hit back in this life. It's how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. (Thanks rocky).

Live in the moment and remember that the past is the past (both the good and the bad). Don't rekindle. Build. And if that don't work, well, it takes two to tango. You can only control your actions.
I just walked in the door from having lunch with I'm Done With Chew. Tell you what, that brother not only changed my attitude but my outlook. The past 4 hrs was needed and will never be forgotten.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 16, 2015, 05:38:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Candoit
Sunday morning - day 4
She is still sleeping. Girls are up and playing, all I want to do is go on like nothing changed. Not ignore it or pretend it didn't happen, but that it will all be okay.

I can't do that I think that is what bothers me the most right now, there is no instant fix.
Prayers man.

Like quitting, life is a one moment at a time. Sometimes you come out on top. Sometimes you get knocked on your ass. But it's not how hard you hit back in this life. It's how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. (Thanks rocky).

Live in the moment and remember that the past is the past (both the good and the bad). Don't rekindle. Build. And if that don't work, well, it takes two to tango. You can only control your actions.
I just walked in the door from having lunch with I'm Done With Chew. Tell you what, that brother not only changed my attitude but my outlook. The past 4 hrs was needed and will never be forgotten.
Sounds promising, now go with it and get the olé candy back! Alot guy's depend and count on you here! Quitting with you today my friend! God bless you and help you in times like these.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on August 16, 2015, 09:31:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Candoit
Sunday morning - day 4
She is still sleeping. Girls are up and playing, all I want to do is go on like nothing changed. Not ignore it or pretend it didn't happen, but that it will all be okay.

I can't do that I think that is what bothers me the most right now, there is no instant fix.
Prayers man.

Like quitting, life is a one moment at a time. Sometimes you come out on top. Sometimes you get knocked on your ass. But it's not how hard you hit back in this life. It's how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. (Thanks rocky).

Live in the moment and remember that the past is the past (both the good and the bad). Don't rekindle. Build. And if that don't work, well, it takes two to tango. You can only control your actions.
I just walked in the door from having lunch with I'm Done With Chew. Tell you what, that brother not only changed my attitude but my outlook. The past 4 hrs was needed and will never be forgotten.
Sounds promising, now go with it and get the olé candy back! Alot guy's depend and count on you here! Quitting with you today my friend! God bless you and help you in times like these.
I know it's cliche and frankly, hard as hell, but you have to stay strong. Things like eating healthy, getting sleep, getting in shape and bringing home a paycheck may seem impossible but will make a world of difference in how you see yourself and how she sees you. Look beyond the worry and kick some ass. One year from now you will be in a totally different place and with hard work, it will be exponentially better.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 17, 2015, 07:32:00 AM
391/5
391: +1's. Fuk yeah! Earned each one of those bad SOB's. But they also are wounds that won't heal. I have tried to ignore and let them heal on their own. That did not work. I grasped at straws and had some faith it would work out.

I delt with them one at a time and some will just fade away. Oh how wrong I was. God was pissed I wasn't listening, he kept sending signs and signals, and I was in my own happy little world. Then he kicked me so hard I saw my balls fly out my nose like a party favor. Shook me to my core.

That is the 5. I finally heard the message 5 days ago. Good for you your quit, stop resting on your lorals, and get your ass in gear, or I am going to repo your life. You are not paying for it, you are over due on your payments of love, honesty, and respect. You are not keeping the promise you made to love and protect them. You can honor your word for 386 days why can't you keep it to your own wife and childern?

Guess what I heard you. Loud and clear. You sent people, strangers to help me. You did not leave me nor turn your back on me. Now I need to do my part. I know I need to get money moving into this house. That is priority #1. I am going to sell a bunch of tools to a pawn store today. I can't just sit and wait for someone to call with an interview and a check.

So untill then I have an extra kidney, lung, dog, cat, truck and a defeated ego for sale. PM me if interested.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Pinched on August 17, 2015, 10:57:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
391/5
391: +1's. Fuk yeah! Earned each one of those bad SOB's. But they also are wounds that won't heal. I have tried to ignore and let them heal on their own. That did not work. I grasped at straws and had some faith it would work out.

I delt with them one at a time and some will just fade away. Oh how wrong I was. God was pissed I wasn't listening, he kept sending signs and signals, and I was in my own happy little world. Then he kicked me so hard I saw my balls fly out my nose like a party favor. Shook me to my core.

That is the 5. I finally heard the message 5 days ago. Good for you your quit, stop resting on your lorals, and get your ass in gear, or I am going to repo your life. You are not paying for it, you are over due on your payments of love, honesty, and respect. You are not keeping the promise you made to love and protect them. You can honor your word for 386 days why can't you keep it to your own wife and childern?

Guess what I heard you. Loud and clear. You sent people, strangers to help me. You did not leave me nor turn your back on me. Now I need to do my part. I know I need to get money moving into this house. That is priority #1. I am going to sell a bunch of tools to a pawn store today. I can't just sit and wait for someone to call with an interview and a check.

So untill then I have an extra kidney, lung, dog, cat, truck and a defeated ego for sale. PM me if interested.
Well done brother! It sounds like you are listening with both ears now. Keep up your "Can Do It" attitude, do this now, fight for what you want and believe that you deserve, earn it all back one day at a time.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 17, 2015, 11:40:00 AM
Quote from: Pinched
Quote from: Candoit
391/5
391: +1's. Fuk yeah! Earned each one of those bad SOB's. But they also are wounds that won't heal. I have tried to ignore and let them heal on their own. That did not work. I grasped at straws and had some faith it would work out.

I delt with them one at a time and some will just fade away. Oh how wrong I was. God was pissed I wasn't listening, he kept sending signs and signals, and I was in my own happy little world. Then he kicked me so hard I saw my balls fly out my nose like a party favor. Shook me to my core.

That is the 5. I finally heard the message 5 days ago. Good for you your quit, stop resting on your lorals, and get your ass in gear, or I am going to repo your life. You are not paying for it, you are over due on your payments of love, honesty, and respect. You are not keeping the promise you made to love and protect them. You can honor your word for 386 days why can't you keep it to your own wife and childern?

Guess what I heard you. Loud and clear. You sent people, strangers to help me. You did not leave me nor turn your back on me. Now I need to do my part. I know I need to get money moving into this house. That is priority #1. I am going to sell a bunch of tools to a pawn store today. I can't just sit and wait for someone to call with an interview and a check.

So untill then I have an extra kidney, lung, dog, cat, truck and a defeated ego for sale. PM me if interested.
Well done brother! It sounds like you are listening with both ears now. Keep up your "Can Do It" attitude, do this now, fight for what you want and believe that you deserve, earn it all back one day at a time.
Thanks P. All I can say is that is amazing what a swift kick can do for you.

"Smacking IDWC back to reality is my job." Mrs. IDWC

It is nessary any wives that think that a swift kick in the ego, will hurt the relationship? As long as it is warrented, start stretching, and get a running start.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on August 17, 2015, 12:04:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Pinched
Quote from: Candoit
391/5
391: +1's. Fuk yeah! Earned each one of those bad SOB's. But they also are wounds that won't heal. I have tried to ignore and let them heal on their own. That did not work. I grasped at straws and had some faith it would work out.

I delt with them one at a time and some will just fade away. Oh how wrong I was. God was pissed I wasn't listening, he kept sending signs and signals, and I was in my own happy little world. Then he kicked me so hard I saw my balls fly out my nose like a party favor. Shook me to my core.

That is the 5. I finally heard the message 5 days ago. Good for you your quit, stop resting on your lorals, and get your ass in gear, or I am going to repo your life. You are not paying for it, you are over due on your payments of love, honesty, and respect. You are not keeping the promise you made to love and protect them. You can honor your word for 386 days why can't you keep it to your own wife and childern?

Guess what I heard you. Loud and clear. You sent people, strangers to help me. You did not leave me nor turn your back on me. Now I need to do my part. I know I need to get money moving into this house. That is priority #1. I am going to sell a bunch of tools to a pawn store today. I can't just sit and wait for someone to call with an interview and a check.

So untill then I have an extra kidney, lung, dog, cat, truck and a defeated ego for sale. PM me if interested.
Well done brother! It sounds like you are listening with both ears now. Keep up your "Can Do It" attitude, do this now, fight for what you want and believe that you deserve, earn it all back one day at a time.
Thanks P. All I can say is that is amazing what a swift kick can do for you.

"Smacking IDWC back to reality is my job." Mrs. IDWC

It is nessary any wives that think that a swift kick in the ego, will hurt the relationship? As long as it is warrented, start stretching, and get a running start.
She kicks my ass from time to time. I am sure I always deserve it. Even if I'm not sure why.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 17, 2015, 12:43:00 PM
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Pinched
Quote from: Candoit
391/5
391: +1's. Fuk yeah! Earned each one of those bad SOB's. But they also are wounds that won't heal. I have tried to ignore and let them heal on their own. That did not work. I grasped at straws and had some faith it would work out.

I delt with them one at a time and some will just fade away. Oh how wrong I was. God was pissed I wasn't listening, he kept sending signs and signals, and I was in my own happy little world. Then he kicked me so hard I saw my balls fly out my nose like a party favor. Shook me to my core.

That is the 5. I finally heard the message 5 days ago. Good for you your quit, stop resting on your lorals, and get your ass in gear, or I am going to repo your life. You are not paying for it, you are over due on your payments of love, honesty, and respect. You are not keeping the promise you made to love and protect them. You can honor your word for 386 days why can't you keep it to your own wife and childern?

Guess what I heard you. Loud and clear. You sent people, strangers to help me. You did not leave me nor turn your back on me. Now I need to do my part. I know I need to get money moving into this house. That is priority #1. I am going to sell a bunch of tools to a pawn store today. I can't just sit and wait for someone to call with an interview and a check.

So untill then I have an extra kidney, lung, dog, cat, truck and a defeated ego for sale. PM me if interested.
Well done brother! It sounds like you are listening with both ears now. Keep up your "Can Do It" attitude, do this now, fight for what you want and believe that you deserve, earn it all back one day at a time.
Thanks P. All I can say is that is amazing what a swift kick can do for you.

"Smacking IDWC back to reality is my job." Mrs. IDWC

It is nessary any wives that think that a swift kick in the ego, will hurt the relationship? As long as it is warrented, start stretching, and get a running start.
She kicks my ass from time to time. I am sure I always deserve it. Even if I'm not sure why.
Sounds like alot of prayers answered great news! Keep your head up! You got this! Quit on!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 18, 2015, 07:24:00 AM
392/6

So I yesterday was a whirlwind of shit and emotion. Got an interview call with a marketing firm, for Tuesday (today).
I went to AFLAC drop stuff off and sat through the meeting. I don't know what even to say about that. I have a grudge against them right now, but it is a focus of anger. The pawn shop was closed. So I drove to the Starbucks, about to get out of the car, I get another call for an interview, the same day. Great, but it is damn near an hour away. What ever, I rush home get changed, and go. I end up having to pull over because I am a wreck and need to pull myself together. It is a sales job. Pedling some air purification system. I can do it, base salary + bonus. But the guy is a moron. Doesn't read my resume beyond the first line, what ever.
I leave I have a phone call from another company, Bankers Life, that is 100% commission. No thanks. I also start talking to marriage counselers. I get an appt for Thursday. I tell my wife, she goes well I have plans, I guess I can reschedule. I told her don't worry, he wanted to see both of us individually at some point so I will go by myself. I never got a response.

That was yesterday. Today is today. I need to focus on small achievable steps. But more importantly I need money coming in. So 1:30 interview will determine what the next step is, on to the job boards.

I prove that I have changed. But I also realized something uesyesterday. I had my confindnce, self worth, and pride sitting next to me on the couch all these months, and it took me really losing it to realize I had it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 18, 2015, 09:22:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
392/6

So I yesterday was a whirlwind of shit and emotion. Got an interview call with a marketing firm, for Tuesday (today).
I went to AFLAC drop stuff off and sat through the meeting. I don't know what even to say about that. I have a grudge against them right now, but it is a focus of anger. The pawn shop was closed. So I drove to the Starbucks, about to get out of the car, I get another call for an interview, the same day. Great, but it is damn near an hour away. What ever, I rush home get changed, and go. I end up having to pull over because I am a wreck and need to pull myself together. It is a sales job. Pedling some air purification system. I can do it, base salary + bonus. But the guy is a moron. Doesn't read my resume beyond the first line, what ever.
I leave I have a phone call from another company, Bankers Life, that is 100% commission. No thanks. I also start talking to marriage counselers. I get an appt for Thursday. I tell my wife, she goes well I have plans, I guess I can reschedule. I told her don't worry, he wanted to see both of us individually at some point so I will go by myself. I never got a response.

That was yesterday. Today is today. I need to focus on small achievable steps. But more importantly I need money coming in. So 1:30 interview will determine what the next step is, on to the job boards.

I prove that I have changed. But I also realized something uesyesterday. I had my confindnce, self worth, and pride sitting next to me on the couch all these months, and it took me really losing it to realize I had it.
Good for you Candy. Things are on the uptick it sounds like. Thoughts and prayers still with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on August 18, 2015, 09:56:00 AM
Quote from: KingNothing
Quote from: Candoit
392/6

So I yesterday was a whirlwind of shit and emotion. Got an interview call with a marketing firm, for Tuesday (today).
I went to AFLAC drop stuff off and sat through the meeting. I don't know what even to say about that. I have a grudge against them right now, but it is a focus of anger. The pawn shop was closed. So I drove to the Starbucks, about to get out of the car, I get another call for an interview, the same day. Great, but it is damn near an hour away. What ever, I rush home get changed, and go. I end up having to pull over because I am a wreck and need to pull myself together. It is a sales job. Pedling some air purification system. I can do it, base salary + bonus. But the guy is a moron. Doesn't read my resume beyond the first line, what ever.
I leave I have a phone call from another company, Bankers Life, that is 100% commission. No thanks. I also start talking to marriage counselers. I get an appt for Thursday. I tell my wife, she goes well I have plans, I guess I can reschedule. I told her don't worry, he wanted to see both of us individually at some point so I will go by myself. I never got a response.

That was yesterday. Today is today. I need to focus on small achievable steps. But more importantly I need money coming in. So 1:30 interview will determine what the next step is, on to the job boards.

I prove that I have changed. But I also realized something uesyesterday. I had my confindnce, self worth, and pride sitting next to me on the couch all these months, and it took me really losing it to realize I had it.
Good for you Candy. Things are on the uptick it sounds like. Thoughts and prayers still with you.
Positive attitude breeds positive outcomes.... NOW THAT IS CLICHE! But it comes from truth!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 18, 2015, 11:12:00 PM
We made an promise in front of friends, family and God. For better or worse till death do us part.

We make a promise with our brothers everyday, I will not use nicotine in any form, for better or worse, for today.

We can easily walk away from either. What surprises me, is the number of people that are willing to not honor their word.

With out honor, love, and respect we are nothing. What happened to the morals and ethics that our fathers taught us? Be honorable, be able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, be able to follow through.

Nothing about keeping either of those promises is easy, but when you made them, you knew that you could and wanted to keep them.

What happened? Things got hard? You got hurt? You are scared? You realized that things changed? Hate to break it to you sunshine, life is not all princesses and unicorns.

To be honorable means looking at the insurmountable odds, saying I don't give a fuck. Then keep your promise. If your promise is to fail, let it be on them and not you.

In the end you want to be able to face St. Peter and say: "I have done everything within my power to live up to the expectations he set forth."

How many promises have you made?
How many have you kept?

The answers to those two questions are the simplest measure of an honorable person.

Do not come here with the intention of being dishonorable. That is unacceptable and inexcusable. Don't ever tell any quitter in here life is too hard to keep a promise. We are among the few left in this country who live honorably among our brothers.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 19, 2015, 10:08:00 AM
Glad to have you back, inspiration like that is golden! Keep head high ,be the man your dad raised you to be! Thanks Candy. Damn proud to be quit with you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: cjoy on August 20, 2015, 09:20:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
We made an promise in front of friends, family and God. For better or worse till death do us part.

We make a promise with our brothers everyday, I will not use nicotine in any form, for better or worse, for today.

We can easily walk away from either. What surprises me, is the number of people that are willing to not honor their word.

With out honor, love, and respect we are nothing. What happened to the morals and ethics that our fathers taught us? Be honorable, be able to look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, be able to follow through.

Nothing about keeping either of those promises is easy, but when you made them, you knew that you could and wanted to keep them.

What happened? Things got hard? You got hurt? You are scared? You realized that things changed? Hate to break it to you sunshine, life is not all princesses and unicorns.

To be honorable means looking at the insurmountable odds, saying I don't give a fuck. Then keep your promise. If your promise is to fail, let it be on them and not you.

In the end you want to be able to face St. Peter and say: "I have done everything within my power to live up to the expectations he set forth."

How many promises have you made?
How many have you kept?

The answers to those two questions are the simplest measure of an honorable person.

Do not come here with the intention of being dishonorable. That is unacceptable and inexcusable. Don't ever tell any quitter in here life is too hard to keep a promise. We are among the few left in this country who live honorably among our brothers.
Perfectly stated friend. I had to snip out one of the comments for my signature. You truly inspire many of us her on KTC. Stay open, stay honest and remain a man of integrity and you will you be able to look at yourself in the mirror with out judgement or guilt.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 20, 2015, 01:53:00 PM
394/8

Going to the first couples counseling session in about an hour. The counselor wants to meet with each of us alone first. I talked with Kramer for awhile just trying to sort out a lot of these things. I know that this is the right first step, but I am scared of the truth. The truth hurts, but it is necessary to move forward and put us back together.

I also went out with my two closest friends last night. They listened but they also had some things to say, which makes me even more confused. I seem to have two buckets if you will. Emotional and Logical. In that emotional bucket are belief, hope, and faith. In that logical are the "realities" and implications. I am oscillating between the two, I need to reach equilibrium at some point. When? I hope sooner rather than later, but I know deep down that will not happen as quickly as I would like.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 20, 2015, 02:11:00 PM
I have been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, I wrote this last night.

I have given you 10 years of my life. There is not one person that I would rather had by my side.

For all of the issues we have had.
For all of the words not said.
For all of the tears shed in private.
For all of the feelings lost.

I want to hear them.
I want to dry them.
I want to experience them.........WITH YOU!

We have become new people.
We have become new people not despite us but because of us.

I have never lost sight of why I fell in love with you.

Your smile, your touch, your kind eyes. Our daughters give me the same look every day. That look is a constant reminder of why I love you and never have stopped loving you.

When they look at me, I see:
What was.
What is.
What it can be.

Which is what gives me the strength, courage, and faith that this is worth fighting for.

We made a promise to grow together.
We never figured out how.
We now can learn together.
We can discover who we are together.

I can only hope with every fiber of my being that you continue to walk with me on this journey.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 20, 2015, 10:10:00 PM
So yeah I am quit, I have that going for me. I need to tell my parents that I need a place to stay for a while. Sandy and I agreed that we need some space, she also told me that she opened a new bank account. Why? So she can know that she has control and she can pay for all of the bills.

I am not a wreck but I am not okay.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 20, 2015, 10:20:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I have been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, I wrote this last night.

I have given you 10 years of my life. There is not one person that I would rather had by my side.

For all of the issues we have had.
For all of the words not said.
For all of the tears shed in private.
For all of the feelings lost.

I want to hear them.
I want to dry them.
I want to experience them.........WITH YOU!

We have become new people.
We have become new people not despite us but because of us.

I have never lost sight of why I fell in love with you.

Your smile, your touch, your kind eyes. Our daughters give me the same look every day. That look is a constant reminder of why I love you and never have stopped loving you.

When they look at me, I see:
What was.
What is.
What it can be.

Which is what gives me the strength, courage, and faith that this is worth fighting for.

We made a promise to grow together.
We never figured out how.
We now can learn together.
We can discover who we are together.

I can only hope with every fiber of my being that you continue to walk with me on this journey.

Share this with your wife! Candy go into your marriage just like you have with your quit. You do whatever it takes to get it done. You don't give up. You promise yourself before it's all said and done, I've done everything humanly possible to fight for what's mine ,then in the end no matter what happens you will have a piece of mind knowing that you did your best. Prayers to you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 05:51:00 AM
I am so scared.
Why am I shouldering all of the blame?
Why am I saying this is all my fault?
Why am I doing all of this to save it?

Am I holding on to something that isn't worth it? I believe I should be fighting for it, but how do I keep going? This is draining beyond anything I ever experienced.

I feel used and broken. I am scared that I wasted time and effort. But I can tell that she is also unsure. Statements like right now, maybe, at this point. In those there is hope that is what I am holding on too.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on August 21, 2015, 06:41:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
I am so scared.
Why am I shouldering all of the blame?
Why am I saying this is all my fault?
Why am I doing all of this to save it?

Am I holding on to something that isn't worth it? I believe I should be fighting for it, but how do I keep going? This is draining beyond anything I ever experienced.

I feel used and broken. I am scared that I wasted time and effort. But I can tell that she is also unsure. Statements like right now, maybe, at this point. In those there is hope that is what I am holding on too.
Being scared is a natural human reaction. But the energy you are expending being scared is fruitless. Refocus and harness that energy on bettering yourself through an employment change. I suggested before and I'll suggest again doing literally anything to get that ball rolling - including delivering pizza. An idol mind is the devils workshop. Once you get back in the work world and you are able to focus more on that, I bet you spouse will be happy with some changes you've made.

Just my 2 cents sir.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 06:51:00 AM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
I am so scared.
Why am I shouldering all of the blame?
Why am I saying this is all my fault?
Why am I doing all of this to save it?

Am I holding on to something that isn't worth it? I believe I should be fighting for it, but how do I keep going? This is draining beyond anything I ever experienced.

I feel used and broken. I am scared that I wasted time and effort. But I can tell that she is also unsure. Statements like right now, maybe, at this point. In those there is hope that is what I am holding on too.
Being scared is a natural human reaction. But the energy you are expending being scared is fruitless. Refocus and harness that energy on bettering yourself through an employment change. I suggested before and I'll suggest again doing literally anything to get that ball rolling - including delivering pizza. An idol mind is the devils workshop. Once you get back in the work world and you are able to focus more on that, I bet you spouse will be happy with some changes you've made.

Just my 2 cents sir.
I have been trying, Lowes, home depot, Walmart, today a few liqour stores. I am also going to apply at a couple super markets.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 10:20:00 AM
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nolaq on August 21, 2015, 10:23:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Mcarmo44 on August 21, 2015, 10:29:00 AM
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 10:33:00 AM
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: basshaug on August 21, 2015, 10:39:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 10:45:00 AM
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: redtrain14 on August 21, 2015, 11:02:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 11:06:00 AM
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Kdip on August 21, 2015, 01:51:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Kdip on August 21, 2015, 01:51:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 02:09:00 PM
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tuco on August 21, 2015, 03:11:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 21, 2015, 03:49:00 PM
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 21, 2015, 03:49:00 PM
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 21, 2015, 03:49:00 PM
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on August 21, 2015, 11:11:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 21, 2015, 11:16:00 PM
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 22, 2015, 05:12:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 07:37:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on August 22, 2015, 09:41:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
I've had the privilege of meeting you. That allows me the ability to say this with first hand knowledge...... Things are hard right now but you have something a lot of people in life do not have. Intelligence and a fighting attitude. Being a fighter doesn't mean you are always tough or confident. Being a fighter is someone who keeps at it even when they are getting hit from every angle (picture Rocky). You have the intelligence to back up your attitude. That is a winning combination even if the fight doesn't end as quickly as you would like. Your a strong father and have support pouring in from all sides. This is a recipe for success. Hold your head up and be yourself. ODAAT has a way of working out most things. I got your back if you need anything!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 09:50:00 AM
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
I've had the privilege of meeting you. That allows me the ability to say this with first hand knowledge...... Things are hard right now but you have something a lot of people in life do not have. Intelligence and a fighting attitude. Being a fighter doesn't mean you are always tough or confident. Being a fighter is someone who keeps at it even when they are getting hit from every angle (picture Rocky). You have the intelligence to back up your attitude. That is a winning combination even if the fight doesn't end as quickly as you would like. Your a strong father and have support pouring in from all sides. This is a recipe for success. Hold your head up and be yourself. ODAAT has a way of working out most things. I got your back if you need anything!
One is only a failure is if he does not get back up. I am picking myself up everyday. I can do that because I have you all.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: normjr88 on August 22, 2015, 11:07:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
I've had the privilege of meeting you. That allows me the ability to say this with first hand knowledge...... Things are hard right now but you have something a lot of people in life do not have. Intelligence and a fighting attitude. Being a fighter doesn't mean you are always tough or confident. Being a fighter is someone who keeps at it even when they are getting hit from every angle (picture Rocky). You have the intelligence to back up your attitude. That is a winning combination even if the fight doesn't end as quickly as you would like. Your a strong father and have support pouring in from all sides. This is a recipe for success. Hold your head up and be yourself. ODAAT has a way of working out most things. I got your back if you need anything!
One is only a failure is if he does not get back up. I am picking myself up everyday. I can do that because I have you all.
Prayers brother. Keep fighting and keep your head up.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: RAZD611 on August 22, 2015, 11:15:00 AM
Quote from: normjr88
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
I've had the privilege of meeting you. That allows me the ability to say this with first hand knowledge...... Things are hard right now but you have something a lot of people in life do not have. Intelligence and a fighting attitude. Being a fighter doesn't mean you are always tough or confident. Being a fighter is someone who keeps at it even when they are getting hit from every angle (picture Rocky). You have the intelligence to back up your attitude. That is a winning combination even if the fight doesn't end as quickly as you would like. Your a strong father and have support pouring in from all sides. This is a recipe for success. Hold your head up and be yourself. ODAAT has a way of working out most things. I got your back if you need anything!
One is only a failure is if he does not get back up. I am picking myself up everyday. I can do that because I have you all.
Prayers brother. Keep fighting and keep your head up.
Stand Tall. Quit questioning every move you make before you drive yourself crazy. you will come out of this a stronger and wiser person.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on August 22, 2015, 06:45:00 PM
Quote from: razd611
Quote from: normjr88
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Tuco
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: kdip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: redtrain14
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: basshaug
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: mcarmo44
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
God, please grant me strength and courage. I am terrified of what is going to happen.

Why are we taught and believe that if we work hard we will be rewarded. I don't know how much more rejection I can take, I don't know how I can keep moving forward , positivity. I am trying so hard to hold it together, but it is falling apart.
Candie. Be strong bro. You might feel like there is no light right now. You're not alone. But there is only one way to go, and that is forward. You gotta fight hard sometimes. Shit does not always come easy, or quick. But anything worth having is hard to get, but also worth the fight.

Stay strong brother. I know you're fighting demons right now. Keep fighting. You're stronger than you think you are.
Prayers man. Just never give up man.
I am trying not to. The mental games of this whole thing, suck. I just am questioning everything I am doing (not my quit). Is it the right or wrong choice, will it help or hurt. Trying to justify everything.
Just keep trying man. You will break through. Don't worry about rejection or any of the shit that is out of your control. Everything you are doing is correct and you are trying. Dont waste energy debating if it is correct, just keep on doing.
That's the doubt. I have no idea if it is correct or not.
Candy

I can't possibly imagine what you are going through. I can only imagine how painful it is.

Hang in there man. Keep fighting, keep doing what you think is right.
After the past 10 months my judgement and faith in what is right is shattered and off. I don't know what else to do.

Applying to jobs, praying for guidance, and hoping that something happens.
We care about what is happening to you even if it's long distance. Thoughts and prayers sent your way!!!
This family is what is giving me the strength to go forward. I know that I can do this and I will come out a new person.

I am struggling with words to express what this brotherhood is all about.

Quitting is all about changing who you are not what you do. Right now your prayers, thoughts, texts, and PMS are what is keeping me going.
Keep on fighting, Cando. Just like quitting, it's going to suck until it doesn't. This is your cue to move forward and leave all of the BS behind. Focus on gaining momentum each day, not in solving every last problem sitting in front of you.

The world seems crushing and suffocating right now. As long as you keep pushing forward, you will emerge stronger and victorious. Probably a lot faster than you realize.
Candy praying every day for you, fight for what you believe is right but somehow I can't see all the problems being all your fault. Stay strong and don't say never, it is what it is and we can't control everything. Be the man candy!
cando..i day at a time...its not just for quit...thoughts and prayers to you.
I am smiling tonight because I let things go. And in return the strength I needed came from all of you. I will handle this as I handle my quit. ODAAT because that I Can Do and I am going to stick it out.

Now that doesn't mean I am rock solid or won't have a melt down or 6 a day. Just a little clearing in the doom and gloom.
Atta boy candy! Sometimes life can be a bitch, we must play the hand we're dealt. As far as men and women, now a days I'm seeing people that's been married 30+ years getting divorces. Me personally I think it's the fast pace world we're living in. Sometimes we have to do things a little different than we may want, to get the results we desire and then there's no guarantee. Put your faith in the hands of the man, it will always work out. Stop look around,be thankful of what you have and remember there's always someone alot worse off than ourselves! Stop smell the roses,breath in the fresh air and let the wind blow in your face,that's living my friend! Sorry can't stop trying to help, I'm a huge family man. Prayers to you daily.
Don't ever stop being you for the sake of someone else. We have become to offendible and quick to give up. The reset button mentality. Life has no reset.
Pab continue to help. I will always need the help of others.
I've had the privilege of meeting you. That allows me the ability to say this with first hand knowledge...... Things are hard right now but you have something a lot of people in life do not have. Intelligence and a fighting attitude. Being a fighter doesn't mean you are always tough or confident. Being a fighter is someone who keeps at it even when they are getting hit from every angle (picture Rocky). You have the intelligence to back up your attitude. That is a winning combination even if the fight doesn't end as quickly as you would like. Your a strong father and have support pouring in from all sides. This is a recipe for success. Hold your head up and be yourself. ODAAT has a way of working out most things. I got your back if you need anything!
One is only a failure is if he does not get back up. I am picking myself up everyday. I can do that because I have you all.
Prayers brother. Keep fighting and keep your head up.
Stand Tall. Quit questioning every move you make before you drive yourself crazy. you will come out of this a stronger and wiser person.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get through this no matter what. Focus on the good things (kids) and show her your strength. I have faith in YOU.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 10:34:00 PM
396/10 Spent the day out and about. Bothered me not to be with my girls, but kept focused on me and just attempting to enjoy the day for what it was, a new day with new possibilities. My friends did a fair job at keeping my mind focused on other things. But I could not but help think about why and how we got to this point. But this was different today it was more thinking about how I can continue to move forward.

Cmark had this posted on facebook and I read it about 20 times today, at least. http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21222/38 ... ships.html (http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-21222/38-hard-truths-about-relationships.html) -- you all need to read this. This is not one of those 11 best lists, this is the real deal.

But I also did some thinking about how to tell the wife that her thinking and logic is flawed and she is putting up a fake wall, so she feels better about things. I am not taking the blame for the marriage ending because she cannot forgive.

My 4 deadly sins:

1. I got black out drunk at our wedding (12/2006)
2. Lied about my chewing (I am quit 396 days)
3. I made a comment/joke about her weight to her best friend (1/2013)
4. I do not have a job or income (currently)

Those are the reason my marriage is ending. So yeah, I don't believe it at all. There is more here, I don't know what, but I will start with forgiveness.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 10:37:00 PM
I did some writing of my thoughts today also. So I need to record them in another place than a little notebook.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 10:51:00 PM
What is inferring?
Why do we infer?

To think that we understand completely where the other person is coming from.
How could we?

We are not able to see their thought.
We are not able to predict the reaction or affect they will have.

So many people screen their words because of the offense they may cause or the hurt they may have.

What if they do not offend, but empower?
What if they do not hurt, but heal?

Why do we let the inferring of a reaction deter us from sharing?

Because we are taught that respect and kindness are not to hurt each other. PERIOD!
That is such a lofty goal. It is akin to saying that we are going to win powerball.

Why?

Because, we have no control over the numbers drawn, just as we have no control over the way a person draws meaning from our words.
So why do we keep them to ourselves?

Words free us.
Words empower us.
Word are the vehicle that we express emotion.

I can choose to read or hear what I want, just as you can.

So we keep letting others dis-empower, bind, and numb them. All for the sake of an inference.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 22, 2015, 11:09:00 PM
When you are broken, most times it is simply because the pieces to your puzzle are not correct.
With the wrong pieces or they are in the wrong places, the puzzle makes no sense.
So the only way to build the puzzle correctly is to completely disassemble it and begin again.

Sounds easy, right?

But, you cannot break it yourself.
You have to be broken by everyone.
You have to be so broken that you are forced out of yourself.

Grapes are useless to make wine with until they have been completely crushed and removed from their skins.
From this point on, they are transformed with love, care, and guidance from a skilled hand.
That they get better with time, even the cheapest wine takes a year.
Anytime prior, it is not quite right.

We have to understand that a good change takes trail and error.

Some will be sweet.
Some will be sour.
Some will be bitter.
Some will be perfect.

Just as with the puzzle, not every piece fits the first time you try.

Be willing to be unsuccessful.
Be willing to be frustrated.
Be willing to be elated.
Be willing to step away.

This does not mean you are finished and give up. All it means is that your not done YET!

Our puzzles are not 50 pieces or 5000. They are closer to 1,000,000 pieces and will never be finished, because they are always changing.

But don't give up.
Accept the challenge and try.
What is the worst that happens?
You figure out a piece doesn't fit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on August 23, 2015, 05:56:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
I have been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, I wrote this last night.

I have given you 10 years of my life. There is not one person that I would rather had by my side.

For all of the issues we have had.
For all of the words not said.
For all of the tears shed in private.
For all of the feelings lost.

I want to hear them.
I want to dry them.
I want to experience them.........WITH YOU!

We have become new people.
We have become new people not despite us but because of us.

I have never lost sight of why I fell in love with you.

Your smile, your touch, your kind eyes. Our daughters give me the same look every day. That look is a constant reminder of why I love you and never have stopped loving you.

When they look at me, I see:
What was.
What is.
What it can be.

Which is what gives me the strength, courage, and faith that this is worth fighting for.

We made a promise to grow together.
We never figured out how.
We now can learn together.
We can discover who we are together.

I can only hope with every fiber of my being that you continue to walk with me on this journey.

Share this with your wife! Candy go into your marriage just like you have with your quit. You do whatever it takes to get it done. You don't give up. You promise yourself before it's all said and done, I've done everything humanly possible to fight for what's mine ,then in the end no matter what happens you will have a piece of mind knowing that you did your best. Prayers to you!
That is awesome. Whatever comes to you from that, from your wife is unknown today, but know that you have put yourself out there, completely vulnerable, transparent. Keep growing, change is living, keep opening up, change and action is freeing.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: kramer on August 23, 2015, 06:33:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
I have been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, I wrote this last night.

I have given you 10 years of my life. There is not one person that I would rather had by my side.

For all of the issues we have had.
For all of the words not said.
For all of the tears shed in private.
For all of the feelings lost.

I want to hear them.
I want to dry them.
I want to experience them.........WITH YOU!

We have become new people.
We have become new people not despite us but because of us.

I have never lost sight of why I fell in love with you.

Your smile, your touch, your kind eyes. Our daughters give me the same look every day. That look is a constant reminder of why I love you and never have stopped loving you.

When they look at me, I see:
What was.
What is.
What it can be.

Which is what gives me the strength, courage, and faith that this is worth fighting for.

We made a promise to grow together.
We never figured out how.
We now can learn together.
We can discover who we are together.

I can only hope with every fiber of my being that you continue to walk with me on this journey.

Share this with your wife! Candy go into your marriage just like you have with your quit. You do whatever it takes to get it done. You don't give up. You promise yourself before it's all said and done, I've done everything humanly possible to fight for what's mine ,then in the end no matter what happens you will have a piece of mind knowing that you did your best. Prayers to you!
That is awesome. Whatever comes to you from that, from your wife is unknown today, but know that you have put yourself out there, completely vulnerable, transparent. Keep growing, change is living, keep opening up, change and action is freeing.
That is some nice work there. You are at point where you have to leave it all on the table for her to see and those words are quite powerful.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 23, 2015, 09:38:00 PM
Quote from: kramer
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
I have been jotting down thoughts as they come to me, I wrote this last night.

I have given you 10 years of my life. There is not one person that I would rather had by my side.

For all of the issues we have had.
For all of the words not said.
For all of the tears shed in private.
For all of the feelings lost.

I want to hear them.
I want to dry them.
I want to experience them.........WITH YOU!

We have become new people.
We have become new people not despite us but because of us.

I have never lost sight of why I fell in love with you.

Your smile, your touch, your kind eyes. Our daughters give me the same look every day. That look is a constant reminder of why I love you and never have stopped loving you.

When they look at me, I see:
What was.
What is.
What it can be.

Which is what gives me the strength, courage, and faith that this is worth fighting for.

We made a promise to grow together.
We never figured out how.
We now can learn together.
We can discover who we are together.

I can only hope with every fiber of my being that you continue to walk with me on this journey.

Share this with your wife! Candy go into your marriage just like you have with your quit. You do whatever it takes to get it done. You don't give up. You promise yourself before it's all said and done, I've done everything humanly possible to fight for what's mine ,then in the end no matter what happens you will have a piece of mind knowing that you did your best. Prayers to you!
That is awesome. Whatever comes to you from that, from your wife is unknown today, but know that you have put yourself out there, completely vulnerable, transparent. Keep growing, change is living, keep opening up, change and action is freeing.
That is some nice work there. You are at point where you have to leave it all on the table for her to see and those words are quite powerful.
So I rewrote it by hand, and handed it to her. She read it put it in the envelope and put it aside. No emotion, so glance, no look. Just stotic.
I don't know what to do or say at this point. I just want a response. I need to keep moving forward. I need and want to talk about this with her.
I need to know how she could shut me out so quickly, be so distant. Be so unfeeling.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 23, 2015, 09:55:00 PM
My deepest fear is giving all of me and it not being returned. I afraid that when all bets are off that I will have never been lived like I have given.

I challenge everyone to love with no conditions your spouse. I love my wife as much as I love my daughters. I gave of myself so completely, that the wells ran dry.

I have replenished the wells to only find that she didn't wait. Why? I cannot bear the burden of this alone. She is making me to be the bad guy, she is making me hurt, she is making me doubt.

I am seeking forgiveness for 100% of the err, when I should be seeking forgiveness for 50% of the err. Why is she not seeking forgiveness?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 23, 2015, 11:42:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
My deepest fear is giving all of me and it not being returned. I afraid that when all bets are off that I will have never been lived like I have given.

I challenge everyone to love with no conditions your spouse. I love my wife as much as I love my daughters. I gave of myself so completely, that the wells ran dry.

I have replenished the wells to only find that she didn't wait. Why? I cannot bear the burden of this alone. She is making me to be the bad guy, she is making me hurt, she is making me doubt.

I am seeking forgiveness for 100% of the err, when I should be seeking forgiveness for 50% of the err. Why is she not seeking forgiveness?
Candy I have been married 31 year's. I will be the first to tell you it hasn't always been a cakewalk and it's still not
I was told by my Grandfather a time a young age that marriage has got to be 50/50 and you can never be to proud to admit when you are wrong. Men and woman always have problems admitting there wrong or always have to get the last word in but rest assured my friend you didn't screw your marriage up by yourself. Head up son, and stay strong. Prayers to you and quit on my brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 23, 2015, 11:58:00 PM
Thoughts and prayers Cando. This is quite the roller coaster you're on, but eventually the ride will end. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to reach out.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Wt57 on August 24, 2015, 02:24:00 AM
As you know I have my share of issues so I'm not the best source for suggestions. Never the less I do have some insight into marriage, we've been married for 35 years. I'm luckier than most, my wife has stood by me through more than anyone should have to. We've had heart breaking things happen and moved on. I have the Serenity Prayer on my phone to read all the time. I like the first part that most people are familiar with but I prefer the whole thing.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen

I don't pretend to understand why bad things happen or how to best deal with them but I do know that when I've pushed through and dealt with life's challenges I've always felt better about myself afterwards. For me I've fought a battle continually to cut my life short. Obviously I haven't followed through and each time I've won my battle I consider it a win. That line "Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;" encourages me. I hope that eventually I can find that peace. I also hope you can find that peace.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 24, 2015, 09:55:00 AM
Failure is the inability to get back up. I have never failed, I always get back up.

Have I turned my back and held grudges, Yes. I can not let that retroactively harm me.

I need to move forward. This is different from move on. Do not confuse someones willingness to move forward with their willingness to move on. I am not moving on or giving up, I just have to move forward.

Roller Coaster.....
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 25, 2015, 08:30:00 AM
Forgiveness is not forgetting
Fear is not scared
Failure is not losing
Happiness is not painless
Success is not happiness
Pride is not ego
Honor is not selfish
Selfless is not loneliness
Sadness is not joyless
Smiling is not with out tears
Discovery is not with out frustration
Compassion is not selfless
Anger is not hate
Hate is not terminal
Moving forward is not moving on

We use too many synonyms in ourlives. In doing so we forget that feelings and emotions are not singluar entities. They are complex layers that are codependent. You cannot experience one with out the others. To denie the existence of the others breeds one: resentment.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 25, 2015, 11:20:00 AM
No one said to Issac Newton, you can't prove planetary movement until you take adavanced mathematics, physics, and English. He went out an invented calculus to prove his point.

You do not need to take a course before you can do something. You just do it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: quark on August 25, 2015, 11:31:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
No one said to Issac Newton, you can't prove planetary movement until you take adavanced mathematics, physics, and English. He went out an invented calculus to prove his point.

You do not need to take a course before you can do something. You just do it.
Once you've completed something for the first time, you are finally ready to start it for the first time. Life is messy that way.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on August 25, 2015, 01:55:00 PM
Quote from: quark
Quote from: Candoit
No one said to Issac Newton, you can't prove planetary movement until you take adavanced mathematics, physics, and English. He went out an invented calculus to prove his point.

You do not need to take a course before you can do something. You just do it.
Once you've completed something for the first time, you are finally ready to start it for the first time. Life is messy that way.
If your dick is too short
Or your squirt is too weak
You'd better stand closer
Or piss on your feet
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 25, 2015, 06:32:00 PM
Just so fn angry right now. I need to stop this train of thought before I say something I would regret. She keeps pushing me away. Testing me. Why?

^for me. Just have to note this for me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 25, 2015, 08:50:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Just so fn angry right now. I need to stop this train of thought before I say something I would regret. She keeps pushing me away. Testing me. Why?

^for me. Just have to note this for me.
May not make sense to you candy but I've heard women say he's really trying to hard, maybe back off a little give her, her space. Maybe she's having issues you're not aware of. Hang in there bud, it is what it is and you can't force anything, sit back and watch.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on August 25, 2015, 09:32:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Just so fn angry right now. I need to stop this train of thought before I say something I would regret. She keeps pushing me away. Testing me. Why?

^for me. Just have to note this for me.
May not make sense to you candy but I've heard women say he's really trying to hard, maybe back off a little give her, her space. Maybe she's having issues you're not aware of. Hang in there bud, it is what it is and you can't force anything, sit back and watch.
I agree with Pab but I'm gonna phrase it a little differently... Right now I would focus on you. On how you can move forward. On how you can improve your life. If she wants to be with you on a life improvement journey - which might take time to play out - you both win. If she doesn't, you have focused your efforts on your own improvement.

I'm not saying to ignore or be rude or anything like that... Just suggesting that every ounce of your energy be focused solely on you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jabr on August 25, 2015, 09:33:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
My deepest fear is giving all of me and it not being returned. I afraid that when all bets are off that I will have never been lived like I have given.

I challenge everyone to love with no conditions your spouse. I love my wife as much as I love my daughters. I gave of myself so completely, that the wells ran dry.

I have replenished the wells to only find that she didn't wait. Why? I cannot bear the burden of this alone. She is making me to be the bad guy, she is making me hurt, she is making me doubt.

I am seeking forgiveness for 100% of the err, when I should be seeking forgiveness for 50% of the err. Why is she not seeking forgiveness?
Candy I have been married 31 year's. I will be the first to tell you it hasn't always been a cakewalk and it's still not
I was told by my Grandfather a time a young age that marriage has got to be 50/50 and you can never be to proud to admit when you are wrong. Men and woman always have problems admitting there wrong or always have to get the last word in but rest assured my friend you didn't screw your marriage up by yourself. Head up son, and stay strong. Prayers to you and quit on my brother!
Brother, those first 2 sentences flashed me back to 2012. Those statements are a hard realization, but they're true. You may never get as good as you gave. What I realized is you've got to get to a place where you're ok with that.

You said it yourself here or somewhere else recently that love is an act and not a feeling/emotion. No, I never got as good as I gave. But I finally realized, and accepted, that I gave absolutely everything I could, and that was the only side I could control.

In the end, I couldn't pull it out of the ditch. Hurt like a mother. Took me a long time to convince myself it wasn't a failure. It wasn't what I wanted. The conclusion wasn't what she wanted either, but she also didn't want to invest enough to fix it.

You say you need to move forward. I say you're moving forward regardless. Time stops for no man nor his circumstances.

Looking back with the clarity of hindsight, it's easy for me to relate this to you. But, believe me when I say, I recall with vivid clarity the devastation, the uncertainty, the exhaustion, the emasculated feelings, and the utter helplessness.

I dare say the way you've portrayed yourself on this forum over 400 days is the real you. My opinion is you're a solid guy whose put a tremendous effort into improving himself and helping others.

The sun will rise tomorrow. The day may not look like we expect or want. But, it will have potential for each of us to improve ourselves.

Keep grinding, Candoit. You got this.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on August 26, 2015, 01:08:00 AM
Congratulations on 400 Candyman. Good things coming your way in the next 100. We've got your back and I'm proud as hell to quit with you today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 26, 2015, 07:01:00 AM
400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jimthins on August 26, 2015, 08:47:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.
Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on August 26, 2015, 09:24:00 AM
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: Candoit
400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.
Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.
"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on August 26, 2015, 10:24:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: Candoit
400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.
Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.
"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282
Awesome 400 man!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 26, 2015, 10:27:00 AM
Just a little thought for all of the underpaid and under respected teachers.

Doctor is a Latin word, and it was borrowed from Latin already formed, with a meaning, namely 'teacher'. The word is formed exactly the way teacher is:

a verb root (English teach-, Latin doc-),
plus an agentive suffix (English -er, Latin -tor).

It was used to refer to an especially learned person, one who was authorized and qualified to teach.

It wasn't until the Twelfth Century AD in Europe that the modern Western universities were invented. The first universities were Guilds, of Masters or Students, and the Masters were Doctors, i.e, authorized teachers.

Gradually the Bachelor's, Master's, and Doctor's degrees evolved from a guild structure of Apprentice, Journeyman, and Master.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 26, 2015, 10:34:00 AM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: Candoit
400 times I said I quit. - that's bad ass. That and that alone makes my day.
Time to make the bed.
Do not ring the bell.
Dig in and fight.
Continue to practice the Basics
I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post.
Candoit - I'm extremely happy for you today. I saw the number 400 and couldn't be more excited. A number of milestones you've passed, and a number more. Each one ever so important. Way to keep strong every single day. Proud to be quit with you today.
"I do no longer Wake Up Piss Post, but I wake up, pray, piss, post."

That's what I'm Screaming! CONGRATS Brother on 400.

Moving Forward
Rawls 282
Awesome 400 man!
400 is badassery! Smile today Candy everywhere I've posted, I've seen nothing but love for you! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 27, 2015, 12:46:00 PM
I have a Wisteria bush I found on freecycle about 6-7 years ago. Since I have owned it has never bloomed. I was talking with an old Italian nursey owner about this. Wondering if it was time to dig it out and toss it.

His reply surpised me: "Wisteria does not behave like many plants that need the right amount of TLC. Wisteria thrives on damage. It takes at least 6 years to establish itself. Additionally you need to prune the new growth at least twice a year. Then either cut a ring of bark off or stab the roots with a shovel in Jan/Feb. Until it is threathened and shocked it has no reason to grow."

As I am in my yard now looking at the plant. I remembered this conversation. It takes time to grow roots. The strong roots are necessary to grow, but so is a shock. It can only handle the shock if it has strong roots.

As long as things are stable and calm, we have no reason to grow. Yet the scars and wounds force this to grow, expand, and flourish.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jimthins on August 27, 2015, 02:25:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I have a Wisteria bush I found on freecycle about 6-7 years ago. Since I have owned it has never bloomed. I was talking with an old Italian nursey owner about this. Wondering if it was time to dig it out and toss it.

His reply surpised me: "Wisteria does not behave like many plants that need the right amount of TLC. Wisteria thrives on damage. It takes at least 6 years to establish itself. Additionally you need to prune the new growth at least twice a year. Then either cut a ring of bark off or stab the roots with a shovel in Jan/Feb. Until it is threathened and shocked it has no reason to grow."

As I am in my yard now looking at the plant. I remembered this conversation. It takes time to grow roots. The strong roots are necessary to grow, but so is a shock. It can only handle the shock if it has strong roots.

As long as things are stable and calm, we have no reason to grow. Yet the scars and wounds force this to grow, expand, and flourish.
Some good words right there Cando. One of those things you don't take the time to stop and think about. Dig a little deeper, and think a little longer at the true meanings. We sometimes get caught up in our day-to-day activities not appreciating the small stuff.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 29, 2015, 05:29:00 PM

BELIEF - AWARENESS - RESPECT - KINDNESS
B.A.R.K


BELIEF

Believe in yourself
Believe that you are important
Believe that you can accomplish anything
Believe that there are people who love you
Believe that you can make a difference in this world
Believe that there are people who want to help you
Believe you are the best !!!
AWARENESS

Aware of your family
Aware of your community and friends
Aware of the goals you must set for yourself
Aware of the consequences to the decisions of the things you do
Aware of those who will help you achieve your goals
Aware that your life is what you make of it
Aware that there are people who love you!!!
RESPECT

Respect yourself
Respect your family
Respect is earned each and every day
Respect the rights and decisions of others even if they are different than yours
Respect those who are older than you
Respect your school and teachers
Respect is the key to your future
KINDNESS

Do the right thing
Be helpful without being told to be
Offer to do things for free - volunteer to help
Be kind to yourself - You must learn to love yourself before you can love others
No one stands so tall when they stoop to help a child
Be kind to all people and kindness will find you
Bark covers and protects the giant redwood, it cannot grow without it. It is it's armor, malleable and porous, yet strong, waterproof and able to be repaired.

These are my only four rules. These are the rules I raise my childern by. This is the ruler I measure myself by. I don't need a long list of rules, live and practice these in here and you will do tremendous things out there.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 30, 2015, 09:13:00 PM
404/18 -

I sold my truck today. I have owned that truck since June of 2005 paid 1800 for it then with 90,000 miles, today it had 180,000 miles and I sold it for 1800. That pained me more than I suspected. The oldest was upset with me. But that money is more important than a truck, it is for my family.

She still keeping me more than an arms distance away. It is making me angry and resentful towards her, I am trying my hardest to stay positive and hopeful. Cut and run easy to do, what she wants to do, what I am resentful for. A wee bit hypocritical but keep pressing forward.

Space is what she wants but will not fix the problems. If she was actually working on fixing the problems maybe, but from where I stand she still is trying to place blame on everyone else. It takes two for a marriage to break or work.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 31, 2015, 02:58:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
404/18 -

I sold my truck today. I have owned that truck since June of 2005 paid 1800 for it then with 90,000 miles, today it had 180,000 miles and I sold it for 1800. That pained me more than I suspected. The oldest was upset with me. But that money is more important than a truck, it is for my family.

She still keeping me more than an arms distance away. It is making me angry and resentful towards her, I am trying my hardest to stay positive and hopeful. Cut and run easy to do, what she wants to do, what I am resentful for. A wee bit hypocritical but keep pressing forward.

Space is what she wants but will not fix the problems. If she was actually working on fixing the problems maybe, but from where I stand she still is trying to place blame on everyone else. It takes two for a marriage to break or work.
Candy read what you wrote, it takes 2 in marriage to make it work. Looks like a one man show. Give her room, she may realize grass is not always greener on the other side! You to good a man to go through this shit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 31, 2015, 02:58:00 PM
Bullshit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 31, 2015, 02:59:00 PM
Poof
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 03, 2015, 05:38:00 PM
408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on September 03, 2015, 05:50:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?
You asked a good question at the end. Why are you? Kind of like when you quit, you need to dig deep and figure the answer out. The sooner, the better.

Not saying you are doing the wrong thing. Not saying to stop. But you need to understand your motives.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 03, 2015, 05:51:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?
Nicotine won't help you at all.

I recommend you ignore her starting immediately. Don't say a word and only give short answers if she asks questions. See what happens. Sounds like it's worth a shot.

But hey, I'm not dr drew here. Just some schlub on a message board.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 03, 2015, 05:58:00 PM
Just to clarify. I would ignore her in an aloof way. Not a mean or rude way. Make her think you are happy and not desperate. It works on some chicks.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 03, 2015, 06:06:00 PM
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 03, 2015, 07:28:00 PM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?
You asked a good question at the end. Why are you? Kind of like when you quit, you need to dig deep and figure the answer out. The sooner, the better.

Not saying you are doing the wrong thing. Not saying to stop. But you need to understand your motives.
My motives are pure at this point. I need the truth so I can move on. I understand that I may never get the truth but all of these reasons can't be it.

You don't go from love - we need to focus on being co-parents in 3 weeks.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 03, 2015, 07:30:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
408/21

I asked her if she called the counselor to set the appointment yet?

Mrs C: I have been too busy at work to do anything else, and when I get in the car, I just need time to decompress.

Me: Understandable

Mrs. C: I don't think you get it. My feelings are not going to change, and you wont believe me until you hear it from someone else.

Me: We still should at least sit down with a counselor and talk.

Mrs. C: You figure out what your doing for your birthday tomorrow?

Me: I would like to do something with my family.

Mrs. C: Thats fine take the girls out to dinner and I will find something else to do.

Why am I chasing this hurt?
Nicotine won't help you at all.

I recommend you ignore her starting immediately. Don't say a word and only give short answers if she asks questions. See what happens. Sounds like it's worth a shot.

But hey, I'm not dr drew here. Just some schlub on a message board.
Nicotine is off the table for today. And it will be for tomorrow. That part will never change.

I am not a petty or spiteful person, but the more she pushes me away the more petty and spiteful I become.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 03, 2015, 07:42:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.

I am all ears...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 03, 2015, 08:03:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.


I am all ears...
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 03, 2015, 08:06:00 PM
Sell those toyotas like a fucking mad man. A guy don't come in the lot unless he is looking to buy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SirDerek on September 03, 2015, 08:37:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.


I am all ears...
I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 03, 2015, 08:57:00 PM
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.


I am all ears...
I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.
To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on September 03, 2015, 10:05:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.


I am all ears...
I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.
To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.
I'm going to repeat my recurring theme... Throw every bit of your energy into you. Including your new job. By the way... Congratulations!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on September 04, 2015, 12:18:00 AM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: pab1964
My brother I understand wanting to hang on but dammit my friend you are killing yourself mentally. Move on there's other women out there looking for a man like you. And I will add it's easy for me to say this I'm not in your shoes. But remember those beautiful girls need there Dad. Head up candy, you will be fine, God will not put more on you than you can handle. Continue letting it out , it's not good to keep it in. I would look her straight in the eyes and say I want you to tell me it's over and also is there someone else? Be the man that you are. Prayers to you.
Pab, I am at the point were I am asking myself what is there to save, then my girls look at me. I realize they need to understand forgiveness and compassion, something that their mother has never learned or long since forgotten. I need lead by example, plain and simple.

I am out of ideas:

1. I have been applying to jobs like a mad man. I have one starting on Tuesday at a Toyota dealership, sales manager. I haven't stopped applying.
2. I have tried to be positive and understanding.
3. I have sought professional help.
4. I have been reading the bible and praying (thank you Rawls)
5. I have been trying to spend as much time with the girls as possible.
6. I have shared openly my feelings with her, like i do here.
7. I have tried to make sure I do the small things that she gets annoyed I dont do.


I am all ears...
I am seeing that you are making great strides my friend, lets look:

1 - You are being the good father and spending time with your girls. That in of itself should give you a great feeling to be with those who will look up to you.

2 - you have employment that you are seeking. It is a start, and might not be the long term answer of what you ultimately want, but you are a step to the positive.

3- From your postings here, I have seen a positive attitude, maybe a little down, but always a spark looking to the better (and even still helping others).

4 - Always to use prayer and the help of others when we feel we need. There is nothing wrong when it comes to that. We all came here to KTC when we needed help with quitting nicotine, and now with help needed in other areas in your life you are reaching out. Can be nothing smarter than what you are doing.

I say take a step back and look at what you are doing. This is all you. Do not worry about what the others may think as it is you and your reaction to how you are doing that means the world. Now I think looking at the 4 items I listed, that you are doing quite well and I think others would say the same for the effort you are giving. And I think if you look in the mirror you would probably come to the same conclusion, and if you do I would feel pretty good about yourself.

Just keep up the great work. I believe if you keep on doing what you are, everything will work out for the best in the end.
To me it's obvious what the problem is here. You have poured your heart out to this woman and for some reason or another she no longer wants or needs you. Once again I will say move on candy, to me you're wasting your time you could use elsewhere, she's not the only woman you are capable of loving. Remember it takes 2 and sometimes the harder you try ,the farther you're pushing her away. Sometimes a little time away makes my wife and myself think about things.
I'm going to repeat my recurring theme... Throw every bit of your energy into you. Including your new job. By the way... Congratulations!
You can't make her want to get back together. The harder you pull, the harder she pushes. Time to do a 180. Whatever you have been doing has not worked in this department so it's time to start mentally preparing to move on . We all know sometimes you have to fake it to make it, so put on the happy face. Start exuding confidence and just focus on you. Hit the gym, go out with the guys, keep slamming the job front, have some fun and just overall act like you aren't at a breaking point.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: invader on September 04, 2015, 12:19:00 AM
Happy birthday, old timer.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 04, 2015, 06:50:00 AM
Quote from: invader
Happy birthday, old timer.
Happy birthday candy man!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on September 04, 2015, 07:18:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: invader
Happy birthday, old timer.
Happy birthday candy man!
Agree dude. Happy birthday. I hope you and your girls have a great day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: howgoodgodis on September 04, 2015, 10:35:00 AM
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CANDYMAN, happy birthday to you!!!! AND MANY MORE!!!!
I pray for you today and everyday my friend. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. Draw close to him, he promises to draw close to you brother.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 04, 2015, 11:26:00 AM
Mr. C lecture: Don't Worry I Have This All Figured Out (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=9293676&t=11203031)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on September 04, 2015, 11:46:00 AM
Happy Birthday bro. Glad to hear your starting at the Toyota dealership. With your attitude and knowledge you may find you like the job a lot. You can make some bank in auto sales.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 04, 2015, 12:38:00 PM
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on September 04, 2015, 12:40:00 PM
Happy birthday Candy! Here with you everyday bud as you try to sort this stuff out.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: normjr88 on September 04, 2015, 01:00:00 PM
Happy birthday Mr.C
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jimthins on September 04, 2015, 02:22:00 PM
Quote from: KingNothing
Happy birthday Candy! Here with you everyday bud as you try to sort this stuff out.
Happy Birthday Candoit! We're all here for ya and willing to help you in any way shape or form!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 04, 2015, 03:33:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 04, 2015, 03:55:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Candy my daughter got divorced neither at fault she has them one week him the next. 50/50
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SirDerek on September 04, 2015, 04:05:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Candy my daughter got divorced neither at fault she has them one week him the next. 50/50
Fear is ok, as long as you do not let it rule you. Instead use it to prepare like you have been doing. Spend time with your girls and keep doing what you want to do as you move ahead,
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 04, 2015, 04:24:00 PM
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Candy my daughter got divorced neither at fault she has them one week him the next. 50/50
Fear is ok, as long as you do not let it rule you. Instead use it to prepare like you have been doing. Spend time with your girls and keep doing what you want to do as you move ahead,
It boils down to this...
She runs, hides, and points fingers of blame like a newibe or caver does here.
I have to stand up and put an end to her avoidance of the issues that she is hiding from. When she is cornered it is going to get ugly. I still love her and I am going to have to do this for her and my girls.

Her family and friends allow her to avoid and project blame on to others. She will only continue to be miserable until she deals with what ever these issues are.

Since no one else is making her face these head on, I need to. Not because of spite or hatered but out of love and compassion.

We all know what happens around here when we call bullshit on a bullshitter, and that is keyboard vs keyboard. This is face to face with kids. She needs help, counseling, and to be shown there are other ways. No one in her life is willing to stand up and call her on it.

Thats what I am scared about. When she is called on it whatis she going to do? She has the power in the laws eyes in CT. It is a no fault state and 90% of the time primary custody is placed with the mother, despite "fault or curmistances". I need to be 100% ready for that time when I challenge her to look in the mirror.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 04, 2015, 04:33:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: SirDerek
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Candy my daughter got divorced neither at fault she has them one week him the next. 50/50
Fear is ok, as long as you do not let it rule you. Instead use it to prepare like you have been doing. Spend time with your girls and keep doing what you want to do as you move ahead,
It boils down to this...
She runs, hides, and points fingers of blame like a newibe or caver does here.
I have to stand up and put an end to her avoidance of the issues that she is hiding from. When she is cornered it is going to get ugly. I still love her and I am going to have to do this for her and my girls.

Her family and friends allow her to avoid and project blame on to others. She will only continue to be miserable until she deals with what ever these issues are.

Since no one else is making her face these head on, I need to. Not because of spite or hatered but out of love and compassion.

We all know what happens around here when we call bullshit on a bullshitter, and that is keyboard vs keyboard. This is face to face with kids. She needs help, counseling, and to be shown there are other ways. No one in her life is willing to stand up and call her on it.

Thats what I am scared about. When she is called on it whatis she going to do? She has the power in the laws eyes in CT. It is a no fault state and 90% of the time primary custody is placed with the mother, despite "fault or curmistances". I need to be 100% ready for that time when I challenge her to look in the mirror.
That is huge ,I mean a giant step my friend! I think you've known all along what you need to do but how is the question. That can only be decided by you but my .02 cents worth is the longer you put it off the worse be on the girls! We all have to do things we really do dread!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on September 04, 2015, 05:28:00 PM
Happy birthday Candi....thanks for all the support you've given and keep on giving. I hope this day you can find some joy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: RAZD611 on September 04, 2015, 07:16:00 PM
'Birthday'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 04, 2015, 09:54:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Why doesn't she like you anymore? Why has she clammed up? Did you quit communicating with her? Did you quit being open and honest with her at some point? When did the problems start? The "wall" is the barrier in your communication with her. What initiated that wall? You say it's your fear of her taking your kids away from you. I think you may have put up a wall at some point and quit being open and honest with her. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 06, 2015, 07:33:00 AM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Why doesn't she like you anymore? Why has she clammed up? Did you quit communicating with her? Did you quit being open and honest with her at some point? When did the problems start? The "wall" is the barrier in your communication with her. What initiated that wall? You say it's your fear of her taking your kids away from you. I think you may have put up a wall at some point and quit being open and honest with her. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Communication never really exisited. We never were taught how from either of our parents. We have a chance to learn how now.

She avoids problems it is how she learned how to do and deal with things. I used to do the same then I quit and had to face the demons head on. She does not want to. She needs to be forced to, just like I had to.

I want to work on me and us as parents. But doing so forces her out of her nice blameless boxes.

Hell I would sign a divorce paper today IF it guaranteed that she would go and activity work on her. She needs to figure out these things on her own. I cant fight that fight for her justnwith her. But if we seperate or get divorced with out that piece she is allowed to avoid it. So it isn't about me winning at this point, she needs help to be a better mother and person, but her friends and family let her avoid it. I am the only one that can get her to face it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 06, 2015, 09:52:00 AM
Exodus 23 : 5 - If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 06, 2015, 10:01:00 AM
I see your point but you can't continue to bring yourself down because of her,you must learn to live again, right now this second, what's tomorrow hold for you and what are you gonna do to change it if you don't like it. You and only you control your destiny.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on September 06, 2015, 11:06:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Why doesn't she like you anymore? Why has she clammed up? Did you quit communicating with her? Did you quit being open and honest with her at some point? When did the problems start? The "wall" is the barrier in your communication with her. What initiated that wall? You say it's your fear of her taking your kids away from you. I think you may have put up a wall at some point and quit being open and honest with her. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Communication never really exisited. We never were taught how from either of our parents. We have a chance to learn how now.

She avoids problems it is how she learned how to do and deal with things. I used to do the same then I quit and had to face the demons head on. She does not want to. She needs to be forced to, just like I had to.

I want to work on me and us as parents. But doing so forces her out of her nice blameless boxes.

Hell I would sign a divorce paper today IF it guaranteed that she would go and activity work on her. She needs to figure out these things on her own. I cant fight that fight for her justnwith her. But if we seperate or get divorced with out that piece she is allowed to avoid it. So it isn't about me winning at this point, she needs help to be a better mother and person, but her friends and family let her avoid it. I am the only one that can get her to face it.
I'm noticing you seem to put most of the blame on her. Is it possible youve been ignoring her for a spell and she feels slighted? Just throwing out ideas here. I'm not a therapist, but I've gone through a recent marital rough patch lately. I was able to repair it by recognizing damage that I have done. Things have gotten real good. So maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, it does sound a tad to me like you are putting most of the blame on her. If you want to save the marriage you need to examine yourself first and look at it from her viewpoint. Have you been emotionally absent during your nicotine recovery process? If so, it's time to fix it. Just saying. And again, I only say this because it's been my experience.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 07, 2015, 11:48:00 PM
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Why doesn't she like you anymore? Why has she clammed up? Did you quit communicating with her? Did you quit being open and honest with her at some point? When did the problems start? The "wall" is the barrier in your communication with her. What initiated that wall? You say it's your fear of her taking your kids away from you. I think you may have put up a wall at some point and quit being open and honest with her. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Communication never really exisited. We never were taught how from either of our parents. We have a chance to learn how now.

She avoids problems it is how she learned how to do and deal with things. I used to do the same then I quit and had to face the demons head on. She does not want to. She needs to be forced to, just like I had to.

I want to work on me and us as parents. But doing so forces her out of her nice blameless boxes.

Hell I would sign a divorce paper today IF it guaranteed that she would go and activity work on her. She needs to figure out these things on her own. I cant fight that fight for her justnwith her. But if we seperate or get divorced with out that piece she is allowed to avoid it. So it isn't about me winning at this point, she needs help to be a better mother and person, but her friends and family let her avoid it. I am the only one that can get her to face it.
I'm noticing you seem to put most of the blame on her. Is it possible youve been ignoring her for a spell and she feels slighted? Just throwing out ideas here. I'm not a therapist, but I've gone through a recent marital rough patch lately. I was able to repair it by recognizing damage that I have done. Things have gotten real good. So maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, it does sound a tad to me like you are putting most of the blame on her. If you want to save the marriage you need to examine yourself first and look at it from her viewpoint. Have you been emotionally absent during your nicotine recovery process? If so, it's time to fix it. Just saying. And again, I only say this because it's been my experience.
GHC she came out and put 100% of the blame on me. She deflects the conversation and attempts at counseling. She has said that she has been going through the motions for the better part of 2 years. She opened a bank account because she thought I would take the money from her.

I know that I seem to be putting the blame on her, but she needs to own up to part of this. It takes two to break a relationship.

Why would anyone avoid eye contact in conversation or a session with a counselor (1:1) with me not there? She gets pissed because I wont accept her reasons for the marriage being over.

To review here they are:
1. I got black out drunk at our wedding (12/2006)
2. Lied about my chewing (I am quit 412 days ~ 9/7/15)
3. I made a comment/joke about her weight to her best friend (1/2013)
4. I do not have a job or income (Start tomorrow 9/8/15 as a Sales Manager at a Toyota Dealership)

So I know that these ^^^ put blame on me alone. So yes I am saying she is at fault for something, what I don't know.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on September 08, 2015, 02:01:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: grizzlyhasclaws
Hey man. Do you want to save your marriage? It's all about honesty. You have to drop the wall that is between you and your wife. What is your wall?
My wall?
Fear of loss.
Fear that she will take everything I value from me.
Why doesn't she like you anymore? Why has she clammed up? Did you quit communicating with her? Did you quit being open and honest with her at some point? When did the problems start? The "wall" is the barrier in your communication with her. What initiated that wall? You say it's your fear of her taking your kids away from you. I think you may have put up a wall at some point and quit being open and honest with her. I'm just throwing out ideas.
Communication never really exisited. We never were taught how from either of our parents. We have a chance to learn how now.

She avoids problems it is how she learned how to do and deal with things. I used to do the same then I quit and had to face the demons head on. She does not want to. She needs to be forced to, just like I had to.

I want to work on me and us as parents. But doing so forces her out of her nice blameless boxes.

Hell I would sign a divorce paper today IF it guaranteed that she would go and activity work on her. She needs to figure out these things on her own. I cant fight that fight for her justnwith her. But if we seperate or get divorced with out that piece she is allowed to avoid it. So it isn't about me winning at this point, she needs help to be a better mother and person, but her friends and family let her avoid it. I am the only one that can get her to face it.
I'm noticing you seem to put most of the blame on her. Is it possible youve been ignoring her for a spell and she feels slighted? Just throwing out ideas here. I'm not a therapist, but I've gone through a recent marital rough patch lately. I was able to repair it by recognizing damage that I have done. Things have gotten real good. So maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, it does sound a tad to me like you are putting most of the blame on her. If you want to save the marriage you need to examine yourself first and look at it from her viewpoint. Have you been emotionally absent during your nicotine recovery process? If so, it's time to fix it. Just saying. And again, I only say this because it's been my experience.
GHC she came out and put 100% of the blame on me. She deflects the conversation and attempts at counseling. She has said that she has been going through the motions for the better part of 2 years. She opened a bank account because she thought I would take the money from her.

I know that I seem to be putting the blame on her, but she needs to own up to part of this. It takes two to break a relationship.

Why would anyone avoid eye contact in conversation or a session with a counselor (1:1) with me not there? She gets pissed because I wont accept her reasons for the marriage being over.

To review here they are:
1. I got black out drunk at our wedding (12/2006)
2. Lied about my chewing (I am quit 412 days ~ 9/7/15)
3. I made a comment/joke about her weight to her best friend (1/2013)
4. I do not have a job or income (Start tomorrow 9/8/15 as a Sales Manager at a Toyota Dealership)

So I know that these ^^^ put blame on me alone. So yes I am saying she is at fault for something, what I don't know.

Man it sounds like things are coming together for you! Congrats on the new job sir - I look forward to some great updates!

As far as your current wife - you have a lot of good going on... Don't let any negativity derail this progress keep close to the kids. And live life as a winner.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 09, 2015, 10:40:00 PM
300th post in my intro.

'coolshades

Refill please? Tap that keg of Kool Aid and pound it. No matter the day a cup of KTC Kool Aid hydrates the soul.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 10, 2015, 07:09:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
300th post in my intro.

'coolshades

Refill please? Tap that keg of Kool Aid and pound it. No matter the day a cup of KTC Kool Aid hydrates the soul.
Hope things are getting better candy. Good luck on your new job! Quit on!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 13, 2015, 08:29:00 AM
I have read the post by 'dromes brother about yesterday +1, several times. It always stands apart. About 2 days ago it dawned on me. Through out my quit, when I log on to live chat in the evening; was asked how it was going I would always respond "made it another +1." That +1 is another notch in the belt, but it is just as important to remember how far you have come. So put them together...duh 'facepalm''

So I have taken 'dromes proflic yesterday +1 and have it the Candy Man's spin.... (9/13/15) 418 +1's

I have done this one day at a time (+1) 418 times. I plan on repeating this process for as long as the good Lord keeps me here.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on September 14, 2015, 09:46:00 AM
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 14, 2015, 05:47:00 PM
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: worktowin on September 14, 2015, 08:59:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
Great progress dude. Well done.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 14, 2015, 09:18:00 PM
Quote from: worktowin
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Thumblewort
Sounds like she has a hard time letting things go. I know I do too, but my wife helps me with it by simply saying "how does "X" affect you today?". The answer is always "it doesn't", and she replys "so drop it"...........and I do. Not sure if that would work for you, us grudge holders can be hard to communicate with.
I have let this issue of "what I am doing to save my marriage" go. I have no control over the wife's thinking or her willingness to talk. Now I am focused on me and my daughters. I have to take care of the three of us and do what's best. If she still wants to be part of it then awesome, if not that is on her, not me.
Great progress dude. Well done.
Candy man , way to go, I see you're moving on with your life. Damn happy for you. If you need anything pm me please. Hope you sale 25 Toyota before Christmas! Quit on!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 16, 2015, 10:29:00 PM
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 17, 2015, 01:24:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on September 17, 2015, 02:01:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: MN_Ben on September 17, 2015, 08:42:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: cjoy on September 17, 2015, 09:46:00 AM
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jimthins on September 17, 2015, 10:00:00 AM
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 17, 2015, 10:25:00 AM
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.
Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on September 17, 2015, 11:37:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: jimthins
Quote from: cjoy
Quote from: MN_Ben
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
So I followed through. Yesterday I called the lawyer and had him start the paperwork. She should be served by the end of the week.

That was the most disappointing call I have ever had to make. I have been struggling to find the right words to describe it. The best I can come up with is I was forced to go all in. I have spent many nights over the past 6 weeks reading the bible and praying about this.

I was not going to make the call if it was out of spite or anger. I was not going to make the call to prove a point or win a race. I was only going to make the call when I knew that it was for the right reasons.

It has gotten to the point where all of her responses to me are yes and no. She wont make eye contact or even be in the same room as me any more. She has begun cleaning and painting the house because "I have the urge to clean". BS she is getting ready to put the house on the market.

I can not continue to live moment to moment, it is effecting my girls. The girls say things like "Dont you love dad? Are you still married to Dad? Are you going to tell him you love him or good bye? " I need them to see what love is and how it works, but also help their mother see what she will loose if she keeps on the same path.

I continue to pray that her heart will soften and she will begin to see that every relationship takes work and can be strengthened if you want to. Until then I need to do what is best for me, to be the best father and role model for my girls.
I am calling the lawyer tomorrow and withdrawing the motion. We actually talked for a good two hours tonight. A
Alot came out about hurt and trust. One major theme was my broken trust for hiding my chewing. This is a huge step and she agreed to see the counselor. So moving forward together for a single step. That is enough to make my buckets over flow.
That is huge, glad things are happening!
Thinking of you bud. Hoping things work out for the best, whatever that looks like.
This is great news Candy. Take this as a +1 just like your quit. Thinking and hoping the best for you.
Great to hear Candy. I hope the best for you two. Just as you said, it takes work. Sounds like you both are on the right path.
Great makes my heart feel good for you my friend! God bless and take advantage of another chance at your true love! Wow! Congrats!
Good for you Candyman, you deserved a break. Prayers work! Hope it works out for the best.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on September 19, 2015, 12:46:00 AM
So you called the lawyer and now she wants to talk. You did what they call a 180. You took stong action for YOU and she responded positively. Good news.. Stay strong bro.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 25, 2015, 04:29:00 PM
I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on September 25, 2015, 05:39:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.
I found myself in the same boat as you bro. For the last couple weeks I felt like I needed a break and posted roll every day but ghosted as soon as I had made my promise. I found that as I was spending less time here I was thinking more about chewing and les about the freedom I have won through a determined discipline. I felt like I was drifting even though I posted roll each day. After 8 months of quit I know without a doubt that posting and ghosting DOES NOT wok for me. I need more. The "break" I thought was needed was weakening my quit not helping at all. I have gotten back to my normal posting and support that I was neglecting and I feel strong again. I had to remember that we only get out f our quit what we put into it. I refuse to ever lose the freedom I have earned through KTC and am thankful I was able to recognize what was happening before it went too far. I am glad you have recognized it was well. A break can be good but many of us need to stay heavily involved to maintain our strength. Besides.... There are many quitters who we can help if we are here. We need to remember that paying it forward is our responsibility and privilege. Proud to quit with you again today!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on September 26, 2015, 09:22:00 AM
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
I don't have a whole lot to add. Everything is at an even kind of pace and balance.

I am 3 weeks into 8 weeks of training at the Toyota dealership. We are talking, but it is not the easiest thing to do, when you never really knew how to talk about us in the 1st place.

Additionally I had drifted from activity at KTC over the past few weeks. I found that the thoughts of using increased. Yes I still have 100 % posting status. I posted and ghosted and have felt the pressures. Need to get back involved.
I found myself in the same boat as you bro. For the last couple weeks I felt like I needed a break and posted roll every day but ghosted as soon as I had made my promise. I found that as I was spending less time here I was thinking more about chewing and les about the freedom I have won through a determined discipline. I felt like I was drifting even though I posted roll each day. After 8 months of quit I know without a doubt that posting and ghosting DOES NOT wok for me. I need more. The "break" I thought was needed was weakening my quit not helping at all. I have gotten back to my normal posting and support that I was neglecting and I feel strong again. I had to remember that we only get out f our quit what we put into it. I refuse to ever lose the freedom I have earned through KTC and am thankful I was able to recognize what was happening before it went too far. I am glad you have recognized it was well. A break can be good but many of us need to stay heavily involved to maintain our strength. Besides.... There are many quitters who we can help if we are here. We need to remember that paying it forward is our responsibility and privilege. Proud to quit with you again today!
Wow^^^^^! How true that is for me. Candy man, you need to realize, whether you know it or not there's alot of people on here that needs your input daily. Look at the marriage thing like this , no news is good news sometimes! Quit on and enjoy life to the fullest. Sometimes happiness is right in front of us!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 29, 2015, 10:56:00 PM
It is weird being in a place were I am not focused on yesterday or tomorrow at all. I am not stressing over what do I have to do.... the ever growing to do list. I am just doing what I have to do today. I do what I can and the rest is dealt with tomorrow. It is a weird place for sure. I always have had this sense of urgency about things, most self imposed, but now it is let me do what I can. And I am okay with that, which makes me smile.

This is huge for a high strung yankee addict
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 26, 2015, 10:05:00 PM
Quote from: Cesear
Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on October 26, 2015, 10:42:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Cesar
Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.
Good to hear from you candy man , hope lifes treating you well!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Stranger999 on October 26, 2015, 10:48:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Cesar
Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.
When I was a high school football player (yeah, it was a long time ago) I read a book by Gale Sayers called I Am Third. There was a statement in that book that I wrote out and taped over my desk - "I control my body; I control my destiny".

I used that as motivation to make it through football practices. It's funny that I never thought about relating it to my tobacco use - I dipped a lot in high school. :P

Nicotine is an evil mistress.

I quit with you today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 27, 2015, 01:18:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Cesar
Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings.

Reject the concept of fate and superstition. A quitter believes and practices that he alone can shape his life with his actions. While if he becomes complacent he fails to master his own fate. Blaming it on the faults of luck, stars, and fate. It is foolish to ignore the soothsayer warning, because the "Ides of March" is always a day away.
Good to hear from you candy man , hope lifes treating you well!
I am doing well. Trying to make a name for myself at the dealership. They have given me the nick name of The Professor. Which is fitting. In the end I need to get people in the door.


Anyone looking for a Toyota? 'boob'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 15, 2015, 10:37:00 PM
481 +1's....

Each one different yet the same. I promised and i kept it, yet the out come and events of each of those +1's was different.

I know where i will begin and end my day. Giving you all my word not to use nicotine is making my bed.

I plan on being here tomorrow morning to do the same. Beyond that, yes I would like to, but thats the best I can do. I dont worry about tomorrow, because it is always a day away.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on November 16, 2015, 05:53:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
481 +1's....

Each one different yet the same. I promised and i kept it, yet the out come and events of each of those +1's was different.

I know where i will begin and end my day. Giving you all my word not to use nicotine is making my bed.

I plan on being here tomorrow morning to do the same. Beyond that, yes I would like to, but thats the best I can do. I dont worry about tomorrow, because it is always a day away.
quit hard little orphan annie!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 16, 2015, 08:41:00 AM
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Candoit
481 +1's....

Each one different yet the same. I promised and i kept it, yet the out come and events of each of those +1's was different.

I know where i will begin and end my day. Giving you all my word not to use nicotine is making my bed.

I plan on being here tomorrow morning to do the same. Beyond that, yes I would like to, but thats the best I can do. I dont worry about tomorrow, because it is always a day away.
quit hard little orphan annie!
When I re read that, I caught that...hoping no one else would, but I knew better, Dadday Warbucks
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 16, 2015, 05:37:00 PM
Nothing about any of this is easy. Who ever tells you different is so full of crap their eyes are brown.

However to relish in the highs, you must experinces the lows. If you arent experincing this then your not living.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on November 16, 2015, 07:05:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Nothing about any of this is easy. Who ever tells you different is so full of crap their eyes are brown.

However to relish in the highs, you must experinces the lows. If you arent experincing this then your not living.
Candy man is right on 110 percent! But I will say what can keep you from doing this? You and only you! How bad you want it? One of the best things I've ever done. It's a challenge, hell I've always liked challenges but I also know my brother's and sisters are there anytime I need them and that is huge! This is Toyota month buy one and support a fine quit brother! Quit on Candy, its my damn pleasure to fight right along beside you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 18, 2015, 10:25:00 AM
I had a conversation yesterday with my desk manager about sales. I respect the hell out of this guy, a Puerto Rican Vincent Van Ghoul.

"There was this guy I worked with, smartest guy, I have ever met, and a Marine none the less. The fukr could look at someone once and recall numbers, email, and the color car they drove. However, he could only sell maybe 5 cars a month. He was too smart, people found him to be an arrogant prick, almost insulting that he was so smart. People don't want to buy from smart, they want to buy from knowledgeable. Great fukn guy, horrible fukn salesman.'

I have been thinking about this, since then.

I have stopped apologizing for being me. I don't actually consider myself "smart" or "intelligent", I just have mastered the ability to learn. I know how to learn, apply, and refine that which I have learned. I come across as an arrogant prick or preachy, yeah, I know. But if I change that, I change me. I am far from being a pompous douche, but yet often accused of being egotistical.

I keep thinking about the fact that a certain skill set means that you are forever trapped in a job, role, or classification for life. As in most cases that means you can never expect to make more than someone deems you worth. I am tired of earning what someone thinks I am worth, I want to earn what I am worth.

I will sell 20 cars a month at some point, but right now I want to sell enough to pay my bills.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on November 18, 2015, 11:33:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
I had a conversation yesterday with my desk manager about sales. I respect the hell out of this guy, a Puerto Rican Vincent Van Ghoul.

"There was this guy I worked with, smartest guy, I have ever met, and a Marine none the less. The fukr could look at someone once and recall numbers, email, and the color car they drove. However, he could only sell maybe 5 cars a month. He was too smart, people found him to be an arrogant prick, almost insulting that he was so smart. People don't want to buy from smart, they want to buy from knowledgeable. Great fukn guy, horrible fukn salesman.'

I have been thinking about this, since then.

I have stopped apologizing for being me. I don't actually consider myself "smart" or "intelligent", I just have mastered the ability to learn. I know how to learn, apply, and refine that which I have learned. I come across as an arrogant prick or preachy, yeah, I know. But if I change that, I change me. I am far from being a pompous douche, but yet often accused of being egotistical.

I keep thinking about the fact that a certain skill set means that you are forever trapped in a job, role, or classification for life. As in most cases that means you can never expect to make more than someone deems you worth. I am tired of earning what someone thinks I am worth, I want to earn what I am worth.

I will sell 20 cars a month at some point, but right now I want to sell enough to pay my bills.
And I have no doubt you will! Although you do come across as an arrogant prick, I still like you. You ever thought about being an engineer? You meet some of the criteria
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Grizzlyhasclaws on November 19, 2015, 12:46:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I had a conversation yesterday with my desk manager about sales. I respect the hell out of this guy, a Puerto Rican Vincent Van Ghoul.

"There was this guy I worked with, smartest guy, I have ever met, and a Marine none the less. The fukr could look at someone once and recall numbers, email, and the color car they drove. However, he could only sell maybe 5 cars a month. He was too smart, people found him to be an arrogant prick, almost insulting that he was so smart. People don't want to buy from smart, they want to buy from knowledgeable. Great fukn guy, horrible fukn salesman.'

I have been thinking about this, since then.

I have stopped apologizing for being me. I don't actually consider myself "smart" or "intelligent", I just have mastered the ability to learn. I know how to learn, apply, and refine that which I have learned. I come across as an arrogant prick or preachy, yeah, I know. But if I change that, I change me. I am far from being a pompous douche, but yet often accused of being egotistical.

I keep thinking about the fact that a certain skill set means that you are forever trapped in a job, role, or classification for life. As in most cases that means you can never expect to make more than someone deems you worth. I am tired of earning what someone thinks I am worth, I want to earn what I am worth.

I will sell 20 cars a month at some point, but right now I want to sell enough to pay my bills.
Who is the best salesman you know? Perhaps a family member? An uncle or grandpa growing up? Someone who could talk to anyone about anything, and make the convo about that person. Make the other person feel good. Deflect all attention from yourself unless it's self effacing. You must be humble yet gregarious. Think of the best salesman you knew from your family as a kid, and start acting like them. Sales is in your blood. You just need to let it flow. Be real. Be humble. Be friendly. Make friends. Be cool. And always, always, do what you say you're gonna do. 80% of salesmen suck because they don't do what they say they're gonna do. The customer is always right.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on December 04, 2015, 01:24:00 AM
Candi... Thank you so much for helping me and guiding me through some difficult times adjusting to a nic free existence.
I still have a ways to go, but the foundation you helped me lay is strong.

Congrats on your 500 days!! I quit with ewe today!

Cheers! 'party2'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: DWEIRICK on December 04, 2015, 04:16:00 AM
Congratulations on the 5th floor Candoit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on December 04, 2015, 05:38:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi... Thank you so much for helping me and guiding me through some difficult times adjusting to a nic free existence.
I still have a ways to go, but the foundation you helped me lay is strong.

Congrats on your 500 days!! I quit with ewe today!

Cheers! 'party2'
500 just simply awesome, welcome to the half dangle
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on December 04, 2015, 05:48:00 AM
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi... Thank you so much for helping me and guiding me through some difficult times adjusting to a nic free existence.
I still have a ways to go, but the foundation you helped me lay is strong.

Congrats on your 500 days!! I quit with ewe today!

Cheers! 'party2'
500 just simply awesome, welcome to the half dangle
500 is awesome!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Raider on December 04, 2015, 09:32:00 AM
Congrats on the big 5-0-0
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on December 04, 2015, 11:28:00 AM
Quote from: Raider
Congrats on the big 5-0-0
Half comma man, congrats!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on December 04, 2015, 12:01:00 PM
Thanks for everything Candy. I could not have gotten here without the support and guidance you have bestowed along the way. You are one badass quitter and I'd go to quit battle with you in my corner every day of the week. Congrats on the 5th floor, you've earned every ounce of it.
'wave' 'party2' 'band'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on December 04, 2015, 02:14:00 PM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: Raider
Congrats on the big 5-0-0
Half comma man, congrats!!!
Candy some people here are the real deal and you happen to be one of them! Damn proud to call you a friend and a brother! Congratulations on 500 awesome days! Thanks!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on December 04, 2015, 10:43:00 PM
ODAAT..... QLF.......NAFAR......NHNNNIML...FUN....

The thing that has gotten me this far is not an abbirivation, but living up to my promise. Being a man of my word, following through every single day. Nothing harder than being able to look in the mirror and not respect the person looking back. I have grown to respect the person looking back more than ever.

There is only thing that matters to me making it to the next +1. In the end, all that alphabet soup is meaningless, unless I am here to give them meaning.

Acoountility is what makes this work. Let yourself be accountable and everything else will fall into place.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on December 04, 2015, 11:28:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
ODAAT..... QLF.......NAFAR......NHNNNIML...FUN....

The thing that has gotten me this far is not an abbirivation, but living up to my promise. Being a man of my word, following through every single day. Nothing harder than being able to look in the mirror and not respect the person looking back. I have grown to respect the person looking back more than ever.

There is only thing that matters to me making it to the next +1. In the end, all that alphabet soup is meaningless, unless I am here to give them meaning.

Acoountility is what makes this work. Let yourself be accountable and everything else will fall into place.
Well done brother.
500 Rocks.
Truth can set all free.
You are on a road of freedom.
I quit with you today.

Rawls 382
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KingNothing on December 05, 2015, 03:10:00 PM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: Candoit
ODAAT..... QLF.......NAFAR......NHNNNIML...FUN....

The thing that has gotten me this far is not an abbirivation, but living up to my promise. Being a man of my word, following through every single day. Nothing harder than being able to look in the mirror and not respect the person looking back. I have grown to respect the person looking back more than ever.

There is only thing that matters to me making it to the next +1. In the end, all that alphabet soup is meaningless, unless I am here to give them meaning.

Acoountility is what makes this work. Let yourself be accountable and everything else will fall into place.
Well done brother.
500 Rocks.
Truth can set all free.
You are on a road of freedom.
I quit with you today.

Rawls 382
Your words have hit home with me in a big way today Candy. You are 100% right about this, and I will continue to strive to give meaning to those words every single day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on December 07, 2015, 07:37:00 PM
To the Quitters of the United Months of KTC

Today - a day which was like any other - Quitters were suddenly and deliberately attacked by craves and mind games of Nicotine.

The quitter was at peace with nicotine and, at the solicitation of our own egos, was still in conversation with nicotine and its bitch looking toward the maintenance of peace in our lives.

Indeed, one hour after the Nic Bitch had commenced low whispers in our mind, she and her colleagues delivered to the quitter a series of subliminal messages to the ego of the quitter. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing level of accountability, it contained no threat or hint of a full on attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of the quitter from KTC makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time, the Nic Bitch has deliberately sought to deceive the quitter by false statements and expressions of hope for continued fleeting thoughts of dip.

The onslaught has caused severe damage to Brotherhood of Accountability. Very many quits have been lost, to those not vested. In addition, Many quitters in many different months have reported cravings and thoughts between many different quit dates.

Yesterday, the Nic Bitch also launched an attack against May 15.
Last night, the Nic Bitch attacked October 14.
Last night, the Nic Bitch attacked December 12.
Last night, the Nic Bitch attacked March 13.
Last night, the Nic Bitch attacked November 15.

This morning, the Nic Bitch attacked March 16.

The Nic Bitch has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the United Months of KTC. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The quitters of KTC have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very success and accountability of our brotherhood.

As a brother to all quitters, I urge that all measures be taken for our defense.

Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the Quitters of KTC in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe the will of the brotherhood when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the utmost, but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall be overcome.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our quitters, our brotherhood and our success are in grave danger.

With confidence in our brotherhood - with the unbounded determination of our quitters - we will gain the inevitable triumph - so help us God.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JohnSmallberries on December 27, 2015, 09:24:00 AM
Hey you arrogant fucking prick southie Mick bastard drunk cock sucker...fucking A I love you man.
I hope sixteen is way way way better than fifteen.
Candy- thanks
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on December 27, 2015, 09:28:00 AM
Quote from: JohnSmallberries
Hey you arrogant fucking prick southie Mick bastard drunk cock sucker...fucking A I love you man.
I hope sixteen is way way way better than fifteen.
Candy- thanks
WTF? What's that bouty bout Smalls?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 08, 2016, 07:10:00 PM
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: jack_smiff1 on January 08, 2016, 09:31:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
You got it brother
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on January 09, 2016, 08:21:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on January 09, 2016, 08:35:00 PM
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 09, 2016, 08:58:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well..."it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world. However that leaves the door open."

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Steakbomb18 on January 10, 2016, 09:38:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well...

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
Whoever this Kramer guy (and I hope he reads this) needs a good ol' fashioned homer simpson to Bart neck choke.

"it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world."

I totally agree, this is pure addict speak, and frankly its just plain asinine. A statement like that comes from somebody who hasn't learned a thing about quitting. I don't care if that person is at day 1,000 ...saying that posting roll is not imperative or (basically) "optional" tells me that said person is a pre-caver; meaning at any given point they could cave because they didn't care enough to make a promise.

For anyone out there reading this, if you learn anything about quitting, take away one thing. Post roll every day. The second you let your resolve and vigilance slip, is the second you compromise everything. Remember: posting roll is posting a promise for you. If you stop caring about you, then all is lost. Everyone who depends on you being quit, depends on you caring enough about yourself to post roll every day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 10, 2016, 11:08:00 AM
Quote from: Steakbomb18
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Going to be honest. Lately the fuck it thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have thought of and began to fade off and it would be a matter of time before I started again. That I am 100% certain on

In a call with Kramer yesterday he phrased it quite well...

It does leave the door wide open to compliancy. I have stood firm 535 days, missing ONE WON'T HURT. That is addict speak if I have ever heard it.

I am trying to find a reason to be here. Ktc is what you need when you need it. I am finding a reason to need it harder and harder to find. Take what you need and leave the rest. That's what I am struggling with, at 535 days what I need is very different from what I needed at day 100.

I am going to continue to post roll, reflect, pray, and move forward one day at a time. Quit on quitthas
I couldn't agree more; your reasons at 535 are different than 100. The new quit crews need guidance from guys like you. I know early in our quits you, Kramer, Norm, et al kept me on tilt...which is exactly what I needed. Stay, Post, and keep guiding new quitters.

At day 100 it was about Candy alone, now you have the power to helps hundreds quit every year!

Thanks for everything!!
I'll give you a reason candy, Me and 1000's more have learned the true meaning of quit from you and we were reminded numerous times quitting ktc is not an option. If you're looking for some coddling, I'm trying to find a quitter you coddled, its not happening! Now as far as everyone liking you on here,who gives a shit, stay quit and don't you ever let anyone tell you that you're nothing less than one badass son of a bitch of a quitter! To hell with the rest ,in my book you're one of the best! Quit on my friend and I look forward to seeing your post for many years to come!
Dipbegone, Pab and Jack I am not going anywhere today or tomorrow. It is a daily promise and I will continue to post as long as I can.

I am not looking for velvet gloves or special treatment. Just documenting it for people to know that they aren't alone, and the path is clear.
Whoever this Kramer guy (and I hope he reads this) needs a good ol' fashioned homer simpson to Bart neck choke.

"it is harder to post roll the further into the quit you go. Why? Because you know that 1 day missing isn't going to be the end of the world."

I totally agree, this is pure addict speak, and frankly its just plain asinine. A statement like that comes from somebody who hasn't learned a thing about quitting. I don't care if that person is at day 1,000 ...saying that posting roll is not imperative or (basically) "optional" tells me that said person is a pre-caver; meaning at any given point they could cave because they didn't care enough to make a promise.

For anyone out there reading this, if you learn anything about quitting, take away one thing. Post roll every day. The second you let your resolve and vigilance slip, is the second you compromise everything. Remember: posting roll is posting a promise for you. If you stop caring about you, then all is lost. Everyone who depends on you being quit, depends on you caring enough about yourself to post roll every day.
Steakbomb....you and Kramer are saying the samething. That would be my fault for not providing enough context.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 26, 2016, 01:53:00 PM
All other beginnings come from some others beginnings end. Just heard the song, needed to add to the tombs for later reference.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 11, 2016, 12:20:00 AM
Today is the first time in a long time I spent the better part of the day on KTC. I have to say, it is what I needed to refocus. KTC is what you need when you need it.

Those that read this at 400+ days hopefully understand at least the basics of that.

Those that are 100..... feel, touch, taste and live your quit with every fiber of your being. When the easy times come do not stop investing, for the more you have in the bank to live on in the tough times the easier it is.

Do not be pennywise and dollar foolish with your quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 15, 2016, 08:34:00 AM
Today is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: I'm done with chew on February 20, 2016, 12:07:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Today is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
One thing I like about you is your refusal to give up. You've gone through some shit this last year and yet the thing that has probably helped you the most is that you keep "moving forward". You've continued to post roll AND support even when you needed it yourself. I have 100% faith in the strength of your quit and the fact that you will stay a pillar of KTC for a long long time. If you left I'd be making another road trip. QLF with you EDD!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on February 21, 2016, 01:09:00 AM
Quote from: I'm
Quote from: Candoit
Today is a new day. Some how it feels like I am back to some place I was before. I have a sense of hesitation that I have not felt in a long time. Using KTC as an escape and grasping at something that I am searching for. I dont yet know what that is, but only one way to find out, move forward.
One thing I like about you is your refusal to give up. You've gone through some shit this last year and yet the thing that has probably helped you the most is that you keep "moving forward". You've continued to post roll AND support even when you needed it yourself. I have 100% faith in the strength of your quit and the fact that you will stay a pillar of KTC for a long long time. If you left I'd be making another road trip. QLF with you EDD!
If you knock, the door will be opened. Those who search.... Will find the Truth.
Rawls 460
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 22, 2016, 09:13:00 AM
I am doing two new things...

1. 24 hours with no negative talk or actions. I set my timer on my phone for 24 hours and restart every time I am negative. My current best is 4 hours.

2. Making a list of the things I have to do today. The one that gives me the greatest axenity, is the one I do first.

I want to be able to do both to completion every day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 01, 2016, 09:51:00 AM
Yesterday was 200 days since the wife told me she thought it was over. I saw that late last night, and have been thinking about how far I have come as a person.

I still have much more to go, but I am grateful for that. I am grateful I get the chance to learn and be happy with out the nic bitch control my life and my choices. I am making the choices based on what I need to do for my family and me. That is a calming freedom that I have earned, but know its a bad choice away from ending.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on March 13, 2016, 03:35:00 PM
Candi. Its been a sweet ride.

Thanks for all you've done to help me and support my group!
Always appreciated, and admired.

6th floor badass!

'party2'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on March 13, 2016, 06:57:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi. Its been a sweet ride.

Thanks for all you've done to help me and support my group!
Always appreciated, and admired.

6th floor badass!

'party2'
Cando, nice 6th floor!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 13, 2016, 07:36:00 PM
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi. Its been a sweet ride.

Thanks for all you've done to help me and support my group!
Always appreciated, and admired.

6th floor badass!

'party2'
Cando, nice 6th floor!
I need all of you quitting with me every damn day, holding me accountable and making sure that I am here to give my word. I need this just as much on day 600 as I did on day 100.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Mogul on March 13, 2016, 09:08:00 PM
I quit with your badass self. Thank you for always being here and quitting with me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on March 13, 2016, 11:12:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi. Its been a sweet ride.

Thanks for all you've done to help me and support my group!
Always appreciated, and admired.

6th floor badass!

'party2'
Cando, nice 6th floor!
I need all of you quitting with me every damn day, holding me accountable and making sure that I am here to give my word. I need this just as much on day 600 as I did on day 100.
Thanks candy for being huge in my quit and many others!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Cantoo on March 14, 2016, 12:38:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: ChickDip
Candi. Its been a sweet ride.

Thanks for all you've done to help me and support my group!
Always appreciated, and admired.

6th floor badass!

'party2'
Cando, nice 6th floor!
I need all of you quitting with me every damn day, holding me accountable and making sure that I am here to give my word. I need this just as much on day 600 as I did on day 100.
Thanks candy for being huge in my quit and many others!
Well done on 600 and 601. You the man. You quitter!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 14, 2016, 05:45:00 PM
Everyday that we show up and give our word, needs to be a celebration. Each day is a day further from the person we were and a day closer to the person who we are becoming.

I have had the same converstation with two quitters with in 72 hours of each other. One was day 221 and the other was at day 42. Each texted me...."fuk I am having craves..What the fuk! Why am I still getting them?"

I picked up the phone and called them....

Candi: Dude, ___ days is nothing compared to the length of time we used. 3650 days is 10 years, you think that 600 days is going to fix all of the damage we did?

Kwitthas: Fuk No.

Candi: Then why are you getting upset?

Kwitthas: Never looked at it that way.

Converstation carried on... but wanted to share this point. The worst thing any of us can do is put our quit on a schedule. By doing so you open yourself to dissappointment rather than aknowledgement. I know a crave can happen and I will deal. Rather than why am I still getting them? Fuk... That fuk moment, if not delt with accordingly could lead down a dark path.

She is sneaky, always waiting, each time your able to post a +1, needs to be celebrated as you continue to beat her and reclaim your life.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on March 14, 2016, 06:22:00 PM
Awesome job from an awesome quitter.... Red, I'd quit with you any day of the week and twice on Sunday. You rock!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on March 14, 2016, 08:35:00 PM
Keep laying the smooth asphalt for us in the rear. Look up to you and your abilities in this battle. Fight on Candy
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on March 14, 2016, 11:10:00 PM
Quote from: Dipbegone
Keep laying the smooth asphalt for us in the rear. Look up to you and your abilities in this battle. Fight on Candy
Couldn't say well done on 600....
600+1 is just bigger!!
Proud of you.
Respectfully....
Rawls
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 15, 2016, 05:47:00 PM
My Dad was admitted last night to the hospital with a blocked intensine. Of course my mother, not wanting to worry me, tells me at 11 pm, via text. When I go down in the morning to visit, she doesnt know his room number, because she doesnt know which hospital he is at. Why? Beacuse fukn Yale owns both hospitals in New Haven, "oh, he will be where ever we have room." Yeah great that helps. According to her, he will be out tonight. Nope he is going to be in for at least the next 48 hours. So, getting ready to leave work, now. Stressed yes, but nic free.

**note*** 602+1's in. Almost 2 trips around the sun and the shit thrown my direction, still lets the whisper in. Standing tall, keeping my word, and putting 100% of my faith in my brothers. This is what has worked, I will be damned if I will change now.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on March 15, 2016, 07:35:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
My Dad was admitted last night to the hospital with a blocked intensine. Of course my mother, not wanting to worry me, tells me at 11 pm, via text. When I go down in the morning to visit, she doesnt know his room number, because she doesnt know which hospital he is at. Why? Beacuse fukn Yale owns both hospitals in New Haven, "oh, he will be where ever we have room." Yeah great that helps. According to her, he will be out tonight. Nope he is going to be in for at least the next 48 hours. So, getting ready to leave work, now. Stressed yes, but nic free.

**note*** 602+1's in. Almost 2 trips around the sun and the shit thrown my direction, still lets the whisper in. Standing tall, keeping my word, and putting 100% of my faith in my brothers. This is what has worked, I will be damned if I will change now.
Prayers for your dad. Thanks for being such a leader here
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 15, 2016, 08:23:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
My Dad was admitted last night to the hospital with a blocked intensine. Of course my mother, not wanting to worry me, tells me at 11 pm, via text. When I go down in the morning to visit, she doesnt know his room number, because she doesnt know which hospital he is at. Why? Beacuse fukn Yale owns both hospitals in New Haven, "oh, he will be where ever we have room." Yeah great that helps. According to her, he will be out tonight. Nope he is going to be in for at least the next 48 hours. So, getting ready to leave work, now. Stressed yes, but nic free.

**note*** 602+1's in. Almost 2 trips around the sun and the shit thrown my direction, still lets the whisper in. Standing tall, keeping my word, and putting 100% of my faith in my brothers. This is what has worked, I will be damned if I will change now.
Prayers for your dad. Thanks for being such a leader here
Thank you. He is doing okay for what it is. The doctors are taking it one day at a time. Hoping the blockage clears when the bile is removed (sucking it out through a tube). So, time will tell. But on the upside my little brother didnt let anyone else know what was going on. Ie my 3 other siblings that live out of state. I love those convos....

CDI = Siblings: so I just visited dad in the hospital he is doing well.
Sib 1 = Wait.... He is in the hosiptial?? Since when???

Smoothed that over with them but life goes on. I thought of Teray and Tramagent and what they go through and keep their word. This is life and nicotine will never make it better.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Cope30 on March 16, 2016, 03:40:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
My Dad was admitted last night to the hospital with a blocked intensine. Of course my mother, not wanting to worry me, tells me at 11 pm, via text. When I go down in the morning to visit, she doesnt know his room number, because she doesnt know which hospital he is at. Why? Beacuse fukn Yale owns both hospitals in New Haven, "oh, he will be where ever we have room." Yeah great that helps. According to her, he will be out tonight. Nope he is going to be in for at least the next 48 hours. So, getting ready to leave work, now. Stressed yes, but nic free.

**note*** 602+1's in. Almost 2 trips around the sun and the shit thrown my direction, still lets the whisper in. Standing tall, keeping my word, and putting 100% of my faith in my brothers. This is what has worked, I will be damned if I will change now.
Congrats on the sixth floor.
Prayers for your dad my brother.
You have helped me so much during my times of desperation and have never let me down, always there when I need someone to talk to.
I tip my cap to you, you are a true example of how a leader/quitter should be.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 16, 2016, 04:39:00 PM
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on March 17, 2016, 05:03:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Cope30 on March 17, 2016, 07:45:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on March 17, 2016, 11:59:00 PM
Quote from: Cope30
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Hang in there and prayers do help
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on March 18, 2016, 01:07:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Cope30
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Hang in there and prayers do help
Prayers with you candi.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: danojeno on March 18, 2016, 06:20:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Cope30
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Hang in there and prayers do help
Prayers with you candi.
Thinking of you, man.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 18, 2016, 08:32:00 PM
Quote from: danojeno
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Cope30
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Hang in there and prayers do help
Prayers with you candi.
Thinking of you, man.
Update on my father.

They removed the scar tissue that was causing the bloackage in his GI tract. It was not sent to pathology, because it showed no signs of cancer. He still is in step down unit, no food, but sitting up and joking. So all good signs.

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on March 18, 2016, 08:59:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: danojeno
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Cope30
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Candoit
So, got a call at 9:30 that he was going in for exploratory surgery. This has been a worry for a long time. He lost 3 ft of small intestine in '88. In that event he no longer has ab muscles. So in '05 the mesh let the instentine move and knot up. They did the same thing used the NT tube, remove the bile, and he was fine. This time it isnt getting any better. Took him in for surgey about 1:30 pm.

I just spoke to the drs asst. He just got out of surgery. Removed alot of scar tissue and everything looks to be good. They did not send any to pathology because there isnt any signs that it was a cancerous growth. He will be in recovery until at least 7 tonight.

I am relieved at this outcome, but it also made me realize that I dont have a plan for alot of things. Like money coming in if I have to miss work or what is going to happen to my mother, if she out lives him. I need to hold a meeting of the mindless to figure this shit out.
Glad to hear all seems to have gone well for your dad. At least now you can formulate a plan in the event any of those things happen. Maybe FMLA in the event you need to miss work? You are right though nicotine wouldn't do a thing to help your situation. Continued prayers for your dad!
Prayers my brother.
Hang in there and prayers do help
Prayers with you candi.
Thinking of you, man.
Update on my father.

They removed the scar tissue that was causing the bloackage in his GI tract. It was not sent to pathology, because it showed no signs of cancer. He still is in step down unit, no food, but sitting up and joking. So all good signs.

Thank you all for the thoughts and prayers.
That is good to hear Cando. Hang in there bro!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 11, 2016, 10:53:00 PM
Tomorrow will be my 630th +1. Thats 90 weeks. I find it so hard to believe that 90 weeks have passed. My life has dramtically changed. I know its for the better.

One thing that really crystalized for me tonight was that, helping others helps me, but it doesnt always provide the level of return on accountibility I need. Accountibility has changed what it looks like and how it is delievered, but at its core it remains the same. A person willing to drag my ass back in here no matter what to face the consuqences of my actions. A person willing to step between me and the exit, no matter what. To do that it takes massive respect and belief in a person to do that.

We do the same to a caver, we need to pruse our brothers with the same verver.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on April 11, 2016, 11:03:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Tomorrow will be my 630th +1. Thats 90 weeks. I find it so hard to believe that 90 weeks have passed. My life has dramtically changed. I know its for the better.

One thing that really crystalized for me tonight was that, helping others helps me, but it doesnt always provide the level of return on accountibility I need. Accountibility has changed what it looks like and how it is delievered, but at its core it remains the same. A person willing to drag my ass back in here no matter what to face the consuqences of my actions. A person willing to step between me and the exit, no matter what. To do that it takes massive respect and belief in a person to do that.

We do the same to a caver, we need to pruse our brothers with the same verver.
You arnt going anywhere.....
Promise you that.
Good news about your dad.
Congrats on 90 weeks.
ALL DAY LONG.
Rawls 511
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on April 12, 2016, 11:45:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: Candoit
Tomorrow will be my 630th +1. Thats 90 weeks. I find it so hard to believe that 90 weeks have passed. My life has dramtically changed. I know its for the better.

One thing that really crystalized for me tonight was that, helping others helps me, but it doesnt always provide the level of return on accountibility I need. Accountibility has changed what it looks like and how it is delievered, but at its core it remains the same. A person willing to drag my ass back in here no matter what to face the consuqences of my actions. A person willing to step between me and the exit, no matter what. To do that it takes massive respect and belief in a person to do that.

We do the same to a caver, we need to pruse our brothers with the same verver.
You arnt going anywhere.....
Promise you that.
Good news about your dad.
Congrats on 90 weeks.
ALL DAY LONG.
Rawls 511
congrats on your 90 weeks!! Thanks for being there for me always, even when I didn't need it.. (I always needed it, just didn't always know it! hahaha)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: QuitConstruct on April 18, 2016, 12:37:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: Candoit
Tomorrow will be my 630th +1. Thats 90 weeks. I find it so hard to believe that 90 weeks have passed. My life has dramtically changed. I know its for the better.

One thing that really crystalized for me tonight was that, helping others helps me, but it doesnt always provide the level of return on accountibility I need. Accountibility has changed what it looks like and how it is delievered, but at its core it remains the same. A person willing to drag my ass back in here no matter what to face the consuqences of my actions. A person willing to step between me and the exit, no matter what. To do that it takes massive respect and belief in a person to do that.

We do the same to a caver, we need to pruse our brothers with the same verver.
You arnt going anywhere.....
Promise you that.
Good news about your dad.
Congrats on 90 weeks.
ALL DAY LONG.
Rawls 511
congrats on your 90 weeks!! Thanks for being there for me always, even when I didn't need it.. (I always needed it, just didn't always know it! hahaha)
I am glad to look up to you CandyMan, glad I found this place, glad I stopped trying to slowkill myself. I support your fights and your quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 20, 2016, 04:01:00 PM
Quote from: Day
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
Damn I was angry, still feel the same way, though. Thinking about what it takes to quit and how much effort at times this takes. This sure as hell is easier now than, back then. But it still requires effort and commitment. Cheesewhiz ass roflmao
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: wastepanel on April 21, 2016, 02:29:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Day
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
Damn I was angry, still feel the same way, though. Thinking about what it takes to quit and how much effort at times this takes. This sure as hell is easier now than, back then. But it still requires effort and commitment. Cheesewhiz ass roflmao
I saw somebody yesterday state that days 1-100 are sacred.

Incorrect. Every day quit is sacred.

It's not always easy. It's not always hard either. Hell, most days now I can lean on a simple roll post to get through the day. Occasionally, I need to reach out just to rekindle some fire. But, mostly, I stay active to stay quit. It's simple...but not always easy.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 22, 2016, 10:27:00 PM
Quote from: wastepanel
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Day
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
Damn I was angry, still feel the same way, though. Thinking about what it takes to quit and how much effort at times this takes. This sure as hell is easier now than, back then. But it still requires effort and commitment. Cheesewhiz ass roflmao
I saw somebody yesterday state that days 1-100 are sacred.

Incorrect. Every day quit is sacred.

It's not always easy. It's not always hard either. Hell, most days now I can lean on a simple roll post to get through the day. Occasionally, I need to reach out just to rekindle some fire. But, mostly, I stay active to stay quit. It's simple...but not always easy.
I have shifted my life over the past 640 days to live from a place of moral accountability. I have an ethical duty to be successful in all I do. I am accountabile to God, my family, my brothers and to myself to give everything to everything I do. There is no making time for this or that. When I am successful, there always is time. When I have a lack of time, I know I need to work harder in some aspect.

I trip, stumble and fall short on a daily basis, except with my quit. This is my place of success. I know at the end of the day, I will always have 1 thing I succeeded at, I stayed quit. That is more than many people have. It has become a point of pride for me. I can day that I am quit for ___ days. That always make me stand tall. At the same time, I know how quickly it can go away.

I find myself trying to apply KTC to life, but it always falls short. I think it has more to do with the commonality here and geninous of our purspose vs the human element of "real life."

One day at a time, every damn day, of my life.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 29, 2016, 09:48:00 PM
Today, I had a brother make the announcement he was giving up his 100% status after 460 days and not posting anymore...
Quote from: I'm
I posted roll today but I plan to stop posting beyond today. I've gotten to the point that I don't think about it much or feel the need to post. Recently I spoke about wanting to be more active but I realized it was mostly myself feeling guilty about not wanting to log on anymore. Rather then fake it I'd rather be honest and just let you know that after 460 days I don't feel the draw to get on everyday. It doesn't make sense to me to post roll, just to full a quota
Have to say that hurt me this morning. This is a guy that drove 6+ hours to have a beer with me when I was at my lowest. I really couldnt say much. Me throwing shit at the wall to see what stuck, wouldnt have worked.

He texted me a few hours later...

I planned to leave quietly today but I didn't really acct for the
response from that idea. I'm sorry that it bothered you. I'm thinking
about staying but I'm concerned that it'll be for others and not
myself. I'm torn.

This is about our addiciton, first and for most.
Here is the way I think about it. No one outside of KTC was ever
able to keep me accountable enough to quit. I know that the action
of me posting roll, keeps me quit. I dont want to risk finding out if I
can go alone.


I feel like staying after stating I was leaving is weak.

Weak? Weak is not being able to put aside ones own pride
to admit they are human.
We all say shit we regret later.


I am truely happy, that he made the choice for himself to stay.
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: I'm
After 460 days I was convinced I was ready to leave KTC. I had a bunch of reasons laid out for myself, and as an addict I was sold on the idea. After voicing my thoughts this morning to some fellow Misfits I was quickly reminded of my addict logic and the path I was about to follow. After 460 days I am still an addict. I am still in need of my brothers support and tough love. I am thankful for both. I didn't plan to cave in any way but had I left I may have lost sight of my addiction and eventually done just that. Today I am quit. Tommorrow I will be here and my promise will assure that I continue to stay quit. Thank you.
Quote from: Some
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out." - Robert Collier

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas A. Edison
Maybe they should listen to themselves. Just sayn.
This notion that we can go it alone, keeps playing out, the farther down the path we go. Concurrently in May 16, they are having this converstation as they approach their HOF's.
Quote from: rkymtnman
Quote from: Wepdoc
Quote from: AWOL
Quote from: Wepdoc
Quote from: Swilderbeast
Quote from: hanzen
Quote from: RNGLock
Quote from: AWOL
Quote from: Bryan127
Quote from: Davalin
This blows. I'm literally 10 days from the Hall of Fame, and the Nic Bitch is being stronger than ever for me. I mentioned this before, but I'm back to work. Going through indoctrination, which is pretty much death by power point. The 4 other guys going through it with me are sitting there dipping the whole time. It's driving me nuts. The cravings are harsh. My mouth is watering just sitting there attempting to stare at these power points or watch these videos. I won't cave, but it's really hard.
Yeah dude I started a new job back in February and it's for the railroad so people either smoke or dip and I just get cravings when I'm around them good thing the dippers aren't in my group, and guess what what scared the crap out of me is the dentist told me " you have leukoplakia where you used to dip in your mouth well keep an eye on it and in 6months if it gets worse
Well biopsy it" I'm like wow way to not beat around the bush , keep in mind been doing grizz long cut for about 8-10 years on and off so I still get
The craving but the hygienist told me don't go back to it or it will for sure turn to the C word....it's just not worth it dying young idc if you always had that mentality "oh well I'm gonna die might as well pick my poison!" FUCK THAT!!!
You got a gift to be told that. Most just keep going until it's too late.
I've said it before I have serious respect for those of you that have to be around it all day. I am away from it all day at work.
Quit on.
I was told the exact same thing. That is what started my quit.
Dude comes up to me at work today with a dip in his mouth. The smell that was radiating into my nostrils made me want to throw up. I'm glad that isn't apart of my life anymore. Kind of made me wonder how many people thought the same thing about me when I'd talk to them. Just the thought makes me glad I quit.
I work on class 8 Peterbilt trucks, I got in the drivers seat of one today and the driver had a solo cup prepped with napkins and 3 used dips sitting on top on them. All I could smell was dip and like you it made me want to vomit.
Think about what percent you quit you are..... Number of days quit \ number of days dipping= times 100 that's how quit you are at 140 days I'm still only 1% quit I've got some work to do.
.58%
Exactly even at 100 days and 0.5% quit do you think the journey is over.....by no means. Does that mean 100 days is nothing....absolutely not.....100 days is an accomplishment to be celebrated of itself but continued vigilance toward the bigger fight.
That's no shit....Today I posed up 2683...while that seems huge - it is literally only 28% of the time I actively used. I still used 3x longer than I have been quit.
All of this keeps reminding me of why I signed up day 1. I couldnt do this on my own then, why should it be any different now? The battles are different, but it is the same war.
Quote from: HOF
The HOF train is a celebration, but it is not a culmination of your quit. Don't climb aboard with the intention of getting off at the next stop (in other words-stay active. You are not cured.)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on June 21, 2016, 10:49:00 AM
Congrats on 700 man!!!
Proud to be quit with you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on June 21, 2016, 10:06:00 PM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Congrats on 700 man!!!
Proud to be quit with you!
Congrats on the 7th floor!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on June 21, 2016, 10:55:00 PM
Candy man....one of two guys that are responsible for my continued success here. Congrats on 7 thank you for paying it forward with a guy like me. Catch some trout and quit on
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on June 21, 2016, 11:15:00 PM
Quote from: Dipbegone
Candy man....one of two guys that are responsible for my continued success here. Congrats on 7 thank you for paying it forward with a guy like me. Catch some trout and quit on
7th floor view! Awesome badass keep bringing it!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: mattlock on June 22, 2016, 12:54:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dipbegone
Candy man....one of two guys that are responsible for my continued success here. Congrats on 7 thank you for paying it forward with a guy like me. Catch some trout and quit on
7th floor view! Awesome badass keep bringing it!
7th floor! Congrats Candoit and thanks for paying it forward to the newbies!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on June 22, 2016, 04:04:00 PM
Congrats on the 7th floor and thank you for all you do around here!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on June 22, 2016, 08:06:00 PM
7th floor! Outstanding Candoit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on June 22, 2016, 09:34:00 PM
Nice going Red! You need to reopen Mr. C's Emporium..... :D
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on June 22, 2016, 09:41:00 PM
Quote from: CavMan83
Nice going Red! You need to reopen Mr. C's Emporium..... :D
Maybe.....
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 02, 2016, 11:37:00 PM
Rymthic
Constant
Unwaivering
Unchanging
The pendulum of life osolates through everthing.

Back and forth
Side to side
Up and down
All are the same.

If it is moving left.
It will eventually move right.
If it moves down.
It will eventually move up.
All will happen.

Speed up the pendulum, it will slow to its natural rythm.
Slow down the pendulum, it will advance to its natural rythm.

In the end the pendulum will always return to its own natural pattern. No matter what we do, in the end it will happen.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: KillTheCamel on July 21, 2016, 07:42:00 AM
2 years quit looks good on you Candy! Thanks for the support in September and congrats!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on July 21, 2016, 12:12:00 PM
CAN MAN,
Congrats on the 2 years brother. I appreciate you reaching out to me early in my quit and I won't forget that. Payin' it forward. You're setting the example.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on July 21, 2016, 03:36:00 PM
Congrats on two trips around the sun!!! Again thanks for all you do here!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on July 21, 2016, 10:38:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Congrats on two trips around the sun!!! Again thanks for all you do here!!
Congratulations on 2 years candyman! Thanks for your support everyday
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on July 22, 2016, 08:38:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: tjschu
Congrats on two trips around the sun!!! Again thanks for all you do here!!
Congratulations on 2 years candyman! Thanks for your support everyday
Thanks for your dedication to the quitters on this site and holding people accountable! Congrats on your second revolution!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Supplehands on July 22, 2016, 10:24:00 AM
Candy man, congratulations on year number 2 in the books. Not only that, it seems you are one of the quitters who actively develops a stronger quit every single day.

Keep going what you are doing and thanks for all the support you give around here
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on July 22, 2016, 12:35:00 PM
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: tjschu
Congrats on two trips around the sun!!! Again thanks for all you do here!!
Congratulations on 2 years candyman! Thanks for your support everyday
Thanks for your dedication to the quitters on this site and holding people accountable! Congrats on your second revolution!
Candi, congrats on 2 years my brother !
Hasn't always been a Sweet Ride (https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAOMAAAAJDFkMzcyMTMwLTU2ZDAtNGQ5Ny1iM2ZmLTMxOGFjNzYzNWRhNQ.png) , but you seem to be more in cruise control more often. Thanks for steering when i needed it :wub:
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: siren on July 22, 2016, 06:03:00 PM
CDI - Congrats on two years brotha. Been great seeing that kind of success up in October 2016 every day, especially early on. Here's to many more victories ODAAT
'oh yeah'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Cornholio on July 23, 2016, 05:01:00 PM
WTG Candy Man. I'm super impressed not only for the two years, but for the never ending support.

THANK YOU.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 23, 2016, 11:04:00 PM
There is the voice in your head. Always there, always speaking, always justifying. It always is a one sided converstation, yet we find ourselves engaged in these epics debates. They serve to rationalize and justify all of our choices. We often loose these debates to ourselves and are completely okay with the choice. We rationalized the decision to ourselves, it makes sense.

Here is where often we get our noses bent. Every single one of us needs to have a real second voice, beyond our own, to challenge our thinking and choices. That is where the KTC, the Vets and your brothers come in. We will always be there 24/7/365 to be the other voice.

You all may not like that fact. You all may call us keyboard cowboys, internet bad asses and a multitude of other things, but one thing remains. We arent here for unearned praise, thata boys and you'll get em next time. That doesnt work, not for us. We earn our praise, we earn our stripes, we understand that failure is not acceptable. Those that have continued to post +1 day in and day out, are proof of that fact.

So, you continue to try things your way, change the way things are around here in your limited experince. I had the same feelings, the same desire, the same chest thumping, know it all, I do not need someone telling me how to do this. Along come the vets and say "give me a 100 days of.doing it our way.Have you ever made it 100 days doing it your way?"

The innervoice still trys to justify leaving or making bad choices. The only difference is I know not to keep the discussion onesided. I need to hear what I dont want to hear. I need to get my nose bent and walk it off. I will be here in the morning to post roll. Why? I never have made it 732 days of doing it my way.

So, I as I continue to have the one sided agruements and debates, but know I can't keep it that way. No matter how much I want to be right.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on July 25, 2016, 08:33:00 AM
Day late and dollar short here, but congratulations Red. Two years is a pretty big deal, although we both know you and I aren't cured! Keep on keepin' on!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 26, 2016, 11:18:00 AM
There is no denial.
There is no forgive and forget.
There is no I can not do anything about it.
There is no ignoring the problem.
There is no what ever.
There is no loitering.
There is no failure.
There is no forever.
There is no next time.
There is no tomorrow.

There is learning.
There is anger.
There is success.
There is fustration.
There is growth.
There is depression.
There is action.
There is acceptance.
There is anxiety.
There is pride.
There is sadness.
There is humility.
There is today.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 04, 2016, 02:17:00 PM
Been a while since I posted personal update.

Day 775. My birthday, the 3rd one since I posted day 1. Definitely the best one so far. Last year was tough, wife didnt even want to have dinner with me or the family. The first one was a blur nothing special, but remember being angry and bitter.

This one... happy and relaxing. Typical sunday nothing special. I dont want or need anything except family time. I am 100% okay with that.
'coolshades

Quit on kwithas!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 21, 2016, 11:07:00 PM
Attn: Newly self appointed bad ass quitters
RE: Committing to the Comma

While your filled with rage and hatered toward nicotine is welcomed and refreshing, it soon will fade. I enjoy watching all of you come out of the gate with such passion and vigor it inspires me. But just like anything else, it too shall fade.

Many of the old krusty BAQ advise you about being quit for today. We speak of easier times and challenges yet unfathomable. Yet you in your chest thumping "I am QFL" turn a blind eye to the sage warns and collective wisdom. This wisdom is built, sadly, upon the remains of many former BAQ, who choose a different path.

The comma will come, but so shall challenges so vast you cannot begin to contemplate them. One thing will bring you through those unimaginable challenges to our egos and quit, the value you place in a simple task. Posting your promise to make it 24 hours nicotine free. Not your brash QFL or commitment to 800 more days, but just making it through today.

Today is all that matters. Today is all I control. Today is what I make of it. All anyone of us can promise is to make it to tomorrow, not forever. Forever is hope and faith. Today is sweat and toil. Making it to tomorrow is something you can hang your hat on.

While I admire the balls to the wall quit, remember that you need to be okay with the person in the mirror. Too often we let ego cover the flaws we seek to hide from ourselves. Learn to deal with those flaws and eventually be proud of them.

You have made it this far, are you in for another day?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: brettlees on September 25, 2016, 06:51:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Attn: Newly self appointed bad ass quitters
RE: Committing to the Comma

While your filled with rage and hatered toward nicotine is welcomed and refreshing, it soon will fade. I enjoy watching all of you come out of the gate with such passion and vigor it inspires me. But just like anything else, it too shall fade.

Many of the old krusty BAQ advise you about being quit for today. We speak of easier times and challenges yet unfathomable. Yet you in your chest thumping "I am QFL" turn a blind eye to the sage warns and collective wisdom. This wisdom is built, sadly, upon the remains of many former BAQ, who choose a different path.

The comma will come, but so shall challenges so vast you cannot begin to contemplate them. One thing will bring you through those unimaginable challenges to our egos and quit, the value you place in a simple task. Posting your promise to make it 24 hours nicotine free. Not your brash QFL or commitment to 800 more days, but just making it through today.

Today is all that matters. Today is all I control. Today is what I make of it. All anyone of us can promise is to make it to tomorrow, not forever. Forever is hope and faith. Today is sweat and toil. Making it to tomorrow is something you can hang your hat on.

While I admire the balls to the wall quit, remember that you need to be okay with the person in the mirror. Too often we let ego cover the flaws we seek to hide from ourselves. Learn to deal with those flaws and eventually be proud of them.

You have made it this far, are you in for another day?
This is pure good stuff! ^^^^^ one day at a time is what gets you through. Even past the comma, i still draw on that method. You need to practice that approach repeatedly, that's what arms you for the long haul. Don't short cut your learning, undermine your quit- just follow the method here as hard as you can. That's what works.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 26, 2016, 09:31:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
We are addicts, everything we do is selfish. Quitting itself is a selfish act. Investing in others, staying active, starting dumpster fires, are all 100% selfish acts. The act of either quitting or using are are different ends of the selfishness scale, but both are 100% selfish acts. Me, I choose to be a selfish in a way that benefits me and as a side effect helps others be selfish in reclaiming their lives.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Sooner87 on September 28, 2016, 07:25:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
We are addicts, everything we do is selfish. Quitting itself is a selfish act. Investing in others, staying active, starting dumpster fires, are all 100% selfish acts. The act of either quitting or using are are different ends of the selfishness scale, but both are 100% selfish acts. Me, I choose to be a selfish in a way that benefits me and as a side effect helps others be selfish in reclaiming their lives.
Thanks for helping me get to 100, ya selfish bastard.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Sooner87 on September 29, 2016, 06:56:00 PM
Congratulations on 8th floor, sensei!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on September 29, 2016, 06:59:00 PM
Candi, congrats on 800 !
I finally got that right.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Jpete328 on September 29, 2016, 08:20:00 PM
Congrats on a great milestone and thanks for reaching out! It helps so much!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on September 29, 2016, 08:51:00 PM
BOOM. In Candi style, just another day...but it looks so cool. See you on text and roll Manana brother
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 29, 2016, 09:08:00 PM
Quote from: Dipbegone
BOOM. In Candi style, just another day...but it looks so cool. See you on text and roll Manana brother
Always! It is a hella nice number, but not as nice as 801 will look in the AM. Couldnt not do it with all of you that hold my ass accountable every day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on September 29, 2016, 09:32:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Dipbegone
BOOM. In Candi style, just another day...but it looks so cool. See you on text and roll Manana brother
Always! It is a hella nice number, but not as nice as 801 will look in the AM. Couldnt not do it with all of you that hold my ass accountable every day.
I'm a little late to the party. Congrats on 8th floor Mr. C!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: PMILS on September 29, 2016, 10:41:00 PM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Dipbegone
BOOM. In Candi style, just another day...but it looks so cool. See you on text and roll Manana brother
Always! It is a hella nice number, but not as nice as 801 will look in the AM. Couldnt not do it with all of you that hold my ass accountable every day.
I'm a little late to the party. Congrats on 8th floor Mr. C!!
Attaboy Candy... thanks for your support, I'll quit with you EDD!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on September 29, 2016, 11:00:00 PM
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Dipbegone
BOOM. In Candi style, just another day...but it looks so cool. See you on text and roll Manana brother
Always! It is a hella nice number, but not as nice as 801 will look in the AM. Couldnt not do it with all of you that hold my ass accountable every day.
I'm a little late to the party. Congrats on 8th floor Mr. C!!
Attaboy Candy... thanks for your support, I'll quit with you EDD!
Well done..... Sir
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on September 30, 2016, 10:14:00 AM
Congrats on making the 8th floor, Mr. C!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 08, 2016, 02:50:00 PM
Finding myself being angry alot lately. When I become angry the thoughts of using increase. I need to say my piece and move on, not let this fester. Always come back to this why am I letting the small stuff control me? Can not do anything so move on.

As always easier said than done. ODAAT
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Idaho Spuds on November 08, 2016, 04:27:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Finding myself being angry alot lately. When I become angry the thoughts of using increase. I need to say my piece and move on, not let this fester. Always come back to this why am I letting the small stuff control me? Can not do anything so move on.

As always easier said than done. ODAAT
Candoit, you got this! I have no worries about your quit. One foot in front of the other!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 09, 2016, 02:16:00 PM
Quote from: Idaho
Quote from: Candoit
Finding myself being angry alot lately. When I become angry the thoughts of using increase. I need to say my piece and move on, not let this fester. Always come back to this why am I letting the small stuff control me? Can not do anything so move on.

As always easier said than done. ODAAT
Candoit, you got this! I have no worries about your quit. One foot in front of the other!
Thank you spuds, for the words and avatar. I think anger has replaced anxiety when I feel out of control. Finding new ways and outlets to move forward.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 20, 2016, 09:45:00 PM
Quote from: Skoal
Today

I will remember I am an addict.

I will make the decision to stay quit just for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

I will post roll today to both remind myself I am an addict, and to steel my quit against temptation.

Today I will stand shoulder to shoulder with my fellow quitters and both hold them up and hold them accountable.

Today I will remember that nicotine isn't good for anything but keeping me addicted to nicotine.

Today I will remember Kenzi Kern and I will hug my children tight.

Today I will not hide from my family or friends to satisfy my addiction

Today my battered mind and body will continue to heal from years of ingesting a neurotoxic weed.

Today I live within the bounds of my word and my desire to stay free .

Today I stay quit.

sM.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 23, 2016, 09:08:00 PM
Couldnt believe how much two days with out sucked. I need a daily quit fix. I know I am not cured. I know that KTC is a critical part of my life. I know that I will be here tomorrow.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on November 23, 2016, 09:12:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Couldnt believe how much two days with out sucked. I need a daily quit fix. I know I am not cured. I know that KTC is a critical part of my life. I know that I will be here tomorrow.
No doubt. I'm an addict. My drug of choice is this group of miscreants
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on November 23, 2016, 10:47:00 PM
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Couldnt believe how much two days with out sucked. I need a daily quit fix. I know I am not cured. I know that KTC is a critical part of my life. I know that I will be here tomorrow.
No doubt. I'm an addict. My drug of choice is this group of miscreants
Incessant texting gropeme without the ktc.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on November 25, 2016, 10:37:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Dipbegone
Quote from: Candoit
Couldnt believe how much two days with out sucked. I need a daily quit fix. I know I am not cured. I know that KTC is a critical part of my life. I know that I will be here tomorrow.
No doubt. I'm an addict. My drug of choice is this group of miscreants
Incessant texting gropeme without the ktc.
Damn it was different. I never really realized how bad I needed ktc! I'm a full blown junky and I need all the help I can get. The texting and groupme definitely helped but just not the same
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 29, 2016, 10:01:00 AM
Some of my favorite HOF Speeches (a work in progress)

topic/1003178/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1003178/1/)
topic/11657587/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11657587/1/#new)
topic/1007048/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1007048/1/)
topic/11143169/1/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11143169/1/#new)
topic/1010744/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1010744/1/)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on November 29, 2016, 07:20:00 PM
One that I read often...the fear is what kept me quit early

topic/1006202/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/1006202/1/)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on December 01, 2016, 07:16:00 PM
I dont ever really want to say I understand forgetting to post roll.

I want to think about dip.
I want to remember how it controlled my life.
I want to remember how it almost cost me everything.
I want to remember the anger.
I want to remember the time lost.
I want to remember everything I have become.
I want to remember what it took to get here
I want to remember how far I still have to go.

I never want it to be excusable.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on January 07, 2017, 07:41:00 AM
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: PMILS on January 07, 2017, 08:30:00 AM
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on January 07, 2017, 08:48:00 AM
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Viking on January 07, 2017, 08:50:00 AM
900 is just solid. Congrats. Keep givin em hell and keepin em quit with ya!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on January 07, 2017, 09:04:00 AM
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on January 07, 2017, 12:48:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Awesome quit Cando!
Here's to the next milestone!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on January 07, 2017, 01:01:00 PM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Awesome quit Cando!
Here's to the next milestone!
Nice job Candy Man. Proud to be quitting today with you at 900
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on January 07, 2017, 01:47:00 PM
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Awesome quit Cando!
Here's to the next milestone!
Nice job Candy Man. Proud to be quitting today with you at 900
You mew quitters need to hang on to this badass quitters coattail! Congratulations candoit ! Damn proud to call you a friend and brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on January 07, 2017, 07:43:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Awesome quit Cando!
Here's to the next milestone!
Nice job Candy Man. Proud to be quitting today with you at 900
You mew quitters need to hang on to this badass quitters coattail! Congratulations candoit ! Damn proud to call you a friend and brother!
Candi man on this sweet ride with all of us.
Thanks for keeping me in the zone when i wanted to zone out. Thanks for talking 'reason' when ther was no reasoning with me.
Thanks for giving me freedom to be a NC....cuz you know that made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Congrats on 900!
~LBPNC
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on January 08, 2017, 01:30:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: D2maine
900 congrats on another milestone - Quit Hard!
Way to go Candy! Thanks for helping me and a ton of others. Proud to be quit with you!
Grats, Red! You keep this up, and sooner or later, you're gonna have a pretty good quit going! 'winker'

Helping countless others out on the road to success yourself. Solid! You make this site a sight better than it otherwise would be.
Next stop the comma club!! Congrats and thank you for all you do here!!!
Awesome quit Cando!
Here's to the next milestone!
Nice job Candy Man. Proud to be quitting today with you at 900
You mew quitters need to hang on to this badass quitters coattail! Congratulations candoit ! Damn proud to call you a friend and brother!
Candi man on this sweet ride with all of us.
Thanks for keeping me in the zone when i wanted to zone out. Thanks for talking 'reason' when ther was no reasoning with me.
Thanks for giving me freedom to be a NC....cuz you know that made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Congrats on 900!
~LBPNC
And what's better than 900?
900+1
Well done brother!
Rawls 792
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 08, 2017, 09:17:00 PM
Thank you everyone. 900 days....I never thought I would be here, I was excited for this milestone. The first one that I can remember being pumped for. I feel like I am actually moving forward in a good direction.

Dipbegone shared this with me yesterday:
This journey is a grind but you earn every number. 9 bills...from an active slave to a man who controls his own destiny. Thing of beauty.

That about sums it all up, very nicely
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 11, 2017, 04:57:00 PM
Had to go searching for this jewel.... not again.
single/?p=8903523t=10927055 (http://forum.killthecan.org/single/?p=8903523&t=10927055)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 12, 2017, 08:53:00 PM
Quote from: Erussell
Day 4 today. The nicotine should be out of your body and now it's mind games. I saw a post you made in October and found it to be profound enough it should go in your thread to remind you how bad you want to be quit and just how much you hate this addition, later down the road. It was in reference to rdad's post of day 1.


( candoit's words to BCN23)
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
I never checked the accuracy of this post. The refernce wasnt RDad but BCN23 which Rdad quoted. I am sorry for that RDad
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: rdad on January 12, 2017, 09:39:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Erussell
Day 4 today. The nicotine should be out of your body and now it's mind games. I saw a post you made in October and found it to be profound enough it should go in your thread to remind you how bad you want to be quit and just how much you hate this addition, later down the road. It was in reference to rdad's post of day 1.


( candoit's words to BCN23)
We own who we are, we do not ask to be judged, we do not turn away those who seek the support, we hold those accountable for their actions, like they requested by becoming a member.

Life is about choices, I made the choice to quit, and I will make that choice to quit every single minute of the rest of my life. Why because I choose to pick up a tin, instead of cigarettes. That is the choice I made 11 years ago. I am enough of a fucking man to stand by my choices, and ask for support. I am not asking for forgiveness for my own bad choices, I am seeking to forgive myself.

When you rush to the defense of those who broke the KTC law, it insults everyone that follows the law. This does not work because it contains shades of gray in which the weak, feabable minded people can hide behind broken promises to say to the world I am a member, therefore I am doing something to quit. This is built on the premise that it is black and white. Either the nic bitch is bending you over her knee and spanking you like the NY Giants do every time they play the pats, or your spanking the nic bitch like Regan spanked the Cremlin.

Do me a favor and save your sunshine, and rainbow bullshit for someone that believes your cheese whiz ass smells like roses. I know I used a lot of big words and accurate historical facts that will not be believed or validated by Wikipedia or yahoo questions. I may be a quitter but I can think for myself. Do you know what that makes me? A fucking Titan of Quit.
I never checked the accuracy of this post. The refernce wasnt RDad but BCN23 which Rdad quoted. I am sorry for that RDad
No worries Candyman. I do like sunshine and rainbows though. As long as they aren't being showered on cavers!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 27, 2017, 05:18:00 PM
As far as I know anyone that I supported from day 1 and vanished, only to reappear, has not made it to the HOF again.

Those that reached out for more support on round 2, have made it and are still here.

So is the lesson here....
A. Dont shit on Mr C
B. Be humble, seek help and use the support
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: AppleJack on January 28, 2017, 12:06:00 AM
Poof
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 28, 2017, 01:50:00 AM
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nolaq on January 28, 2017, 07:33:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
As far as I know anyone that I supported from day 1 and vanished, only to reappear, has not made it to the HOF again.

Those that reached out for more support on round 2, have made it and are still here.

So is the lesson here....
A. Dont shit on Mr C
B. Be humble, seek help and use the support
How humble is that?

I prefer:

1. Post Roll Every Day.

2. Keep your WORD.

3. Repeat.

No offense, candieass, but people have most success when the focus on those three things, and not so much when the are worried about who they are not supposed to shit on.


Im also not sure you should be so proud of the fact that your support for retreads resulted in those failure.

Not sure what your intended lesson was here, but I'll reference my three step approach as a retort of sorts.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SirDerek on January 28, 2017, 12:31:00 PM
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Candoit
As far as I know anyone that I supported from day 1 and vanished, only to reappear, has not made it to the HOF again.

Those that reached out for more support on round 2, have made it and are still here.

So is the lesson here....
A. Dont shit on Mr C
B. Be humble, seek help and use the support
How humble is that?

I prefer:

1. Post Roll Every Day.

2. Keep your WORD.

3. Repeat.

No offense, candieass, but people have most success when the focus on those three things, and not so much when the are worried about who they are not supposed to shit on.


Im also not sure you should be so proud of the fact that your support for retreads resulted in those failure.

Not sure what your intended lesson was here, but I'll reference my three step approach as a retort of sorts.
Cando-

I think I get what you are trying to say. Let me take a stab at trying to reword it a little bit (as even I see it as a bit cryptic):

You have stuck around and have been successful in your quit. You, in your own way, have been giving back to others as you have, in your style.

You have looked to others and have reached out. For those who have accepted that and have reached back, are those that also gain the success. Those that do not reach back out, are the ones that still continue to fail.

It is definitely not personal, it is just the way that there are some who do not feel like opening themselves up to ask others for the help on a personal level. It will happen with so many people. Part of human nature I guess.

But I do look at what a wise Jackwagin said some years ago, and I apply it to a group both within Oct12 and some others, and that is "Be a friend". With those small words to heart, one can get far in his or her success here.

always shoulder to shoulder with you in this fight against nicotine and living the clean life. Be good, Be smart,
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: AppleJack on January 28, 2017, 12:49:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 28, 2017, 05:55:00 PM
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on January 29, 2017, 08:32:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Ones cockiness can also become ones setback
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on January 30, 2017, 01:57:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Ones cockiness can also become ones setback
I worry about my quit first on foremost. Anyone I can help is great, anyone who doesn't listen to me is off my radar in a matter of seconds, because at the end of the day I am still a quitter.

I also subscribe to equality in quits...if a day 2 dude posts roll, his quit is equal my day XX quit, and so on. It's an unpopular way of thinking to some folks, but the ODAAT philosophy is what drives that.

We are all addicts, and only one bad decision to be active addicts, makes no difference who we emulate in our quit circles. In my quit circles I have some serious BAQ's backing me up, yet only I can control what I choose to do.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on January 30, 2017, 02:05:00 PM
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Ones cockiness can also become ones setback
I worry about my quit first on foremost. Anyone I can help is great, anyone who doesn't listen to me is off my radar in a matter of seconds, because at the end of the day I am still a quitter.

I also subscribe to equality in quits...if a day 2 dude posts roll, his quit is equal my day XX quit, and so on. It's an unpopular way of thinking to some folks, but the ODAAT philosophy is what drives that.

We are all addicts, and only one bad decision to be active addicts, makes no difference who we emulate in our quit circles. In my quit circles I have some serious BAQ's backing me up, yet only I can control what I choose to do.
Vet rage! This place has it ALL!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 30, 2017, 06:48:00 PM
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Ones cockiness can also become ones setback
I worry about my quit first on foremost. Anyone I can help is great, anyone who doesn't listen to me is off my radar in a matter of seconds, because at the end of the day I am still a quitter.

I also subscribe to equality in quits...if a day 2 dude posts roll, his quit is equal my day XX quit, and so on. It's an unpopular way of thinking to some folks, but the ODAAT philosophy is what drives that.

We are all addicts, and only one bad decision to be active addicts, makes no difference who we emulate in our quit circles. In my quit circles I have some serious BAQ's backing me up, yet only I can control what I choose to do.
Vet rage! This place has it ALL!!!
I have a similar veiw....

For example day 3 quitter today, I am 923 days quit. The difference is 920 days.

The only difference is I figured it out 920 days sooner. We now need to keep our days quit the same distance apart.


As for my attitude... I have been all over the map lately. Dont really know whats going on but it is something i am working through.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: AppleJack on January 30, 2017, 06:59:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: AppleJack
Poof



Now I am curious.....
"A. Don't shit on Mr. C"

Are you The Pied Piper of Quit? Does your support really matter all that much?
You think a whooole lot of yourself to assume the above statement is something that has weight.

Sorry... not trying to be an ass, bro but... just be a quitter.

Like we all are.

Assigning importance to yourself is silly.
Yeah, I know. It was an arrogant moment and thought. Thats why I posted it here not in the threads. All good thats life.

SD was right in the vain of thinking.
Ones cockiness can also become ones setback
I worry about my quit first on foremost. Anyone I can help is great, anyone who doesn't listen to me is off my radar in a matter of seconds, because at the end of the day I am still a quitter.

I also subscribe to equality in quits...if a day 2 dude posts roll, his quit is equal my day XX quit, and so on. It's an unpopular way of thinking to some folks, but the ODAAT philosophy is what drives that.

We are all addicts, and only one bad decision to be active addicts, makes no difference who we emulate in our quit circles. In my quit circles I have some serious BAQ's backing me up, yet only I can control what I choose to do.
Vet rage! This place has it ALL!!!
I have a similar veiw....

For example day 3 quitter today, I am 923 days quit. The difference is 920 days.

The only difference is I figured it out 920 days sooner. We now need to keep our days quit the same distance apart.


As for my attitude... I have been all over the map lately. Dont really know whats going on but it is something i am working through.
My $.02...

You're all over every new group and newbie acting as a self appointed Quit cop/guru...

Just stop.

Giving back is great but you gots to find the balance.

After all... this is only the Internet.

Real life happens off the screen...

Find the balance.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on January 30, 2017, 07:11:00 PM
And that.....is ONE louder than TEN! :D
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 01, 2017, 11:18:00 AM
Quitting is not about removing something in your life. It is about redefining your life.

For my 1st full year in car sales (2016): 142 cars sold and I was within 1800 of what I made my last year in the classroom.

I am happy and can say that the stress in my life is 80% of what it used to be. I can now sort through the stressors and deal with them as they come. I would say that is true a good 80% of the time. There are still things that get me going but I am able to self adjust and monitor, effectively.

Reading back through everything I have posted and shared over the 2+ yrs here on KTC and I have defiantly refined my life for the better, one day at a time. I know that I am not the same person I was when I started. I also know that I have yet to even see the finial product of this journey. That has me excited and nervous. I need to remind myself that looking ahead is great, but I can only get there when I focus on today.

Goals for 2017
- Get back down below 200 lbs (haven't been there since 2010)
- Spend at least 2 hours a week doing something for me
- Spend 10 hrs a week unplugged and with the family
- Master the sales phone call
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 14, 2017, 10:51:00 PM
I have to make it through today to get to tomorrow.

Worry won't change tomorrow.
Regret won't change yesterday.
Change today so you won't have worry or regret.

Focus on what you can effect directly, your actions. Nothing I do or say can effect you unless you grant me the power over you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on April 15, 2017, 09:13:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
I have to make it through today to get to tomorrow.

Worry won't change tomorrow.
Regret won't change yesterday.
Change today so you won't have worry or regret.

Focus on what you can effect directly, your actions. Nothing I do or say can effect you unless you grant me the power over you.
I Quit with you today pards.
Back here Monday.
Rawls 880
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on April 17, 2017, 08:32:00 AM
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nolaq on April 17, 2017, 10:16:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on April 17, 2017, 11:56:00 AM
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: PMILS on April 17, 2017, 12:28:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: trigerhapy on April 17, 2017, 01:14:00 PM
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Richard K on April 17, 2017, 04:16:00 PM
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on April 17, 2017, 04:20:00 PM
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: AppleJack on April 17, 2017, 04:37:00 PM
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
Commas ROCK!!

Congrats, bro!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Bucky on April 17, 2017, 05:04:00 PM
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
Commas ROCK!!

Congrats, bro!
Nice work Candy Man. Thanks for all you do for others!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on April 17, 2017, 05:13:00 PM
Quote from: Bucky
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
Commas ROCK!!

Congrats, bro!
Nice work Candy Man. Thanks for all you do for others!
'party' Congratulations, Candyman! 'party' And thanks for all the support you give the Dumpster Fire!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on April 17, 2017, 06:01:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: Bucky
Quote from: AppleJack
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Richard
Quote from: trigerhapy
Quote from: PMILS
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Nolaq
Quote from: Rawls
Booooom!
Congrats on the COMMA CANDYMAN.
And appreciate the 14,000+ post!
I enjoy our friendship.
Keep pushing it forward.
I Quit with you today Brother.
Rawls 882
Congrats, Candieman!
Congrats on the comma Candi!
I know it hasn't always been a Sweet Ride,
But I think it's been the ride you needed to become such a strong force in your quit and others.
Thank you so much for all you do here and the tireless, selfless efforts you make daily.
I appreciate you.
❤ LBPNC
Thanks for all you do and congrats on the comma, Candy!
Congrats on the dangle Candoit!
WOW!!! A freaking Comma bro!!! Congrats on the dangle!! Thanks for all the support!
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
Commas ROCK!!

Congrats, bro!
Nice work Candy Man. Thanks for all you do for others!
'party' Congratulations, Candyman! 'party' And thanks for all the support you give the Dumpster Fire!
Hell yeah Candy Man! Great stuff, thanks for giving back man. Your one of the best damn quitters on this whole site!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on April 17, 2017, 06:39:00 PM
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on April 17, 2017, 09:00:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on April 17, 2017, 11:14:00 PM
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Nicely done sir!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on April 18, 2017, 05:44:00 AM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Nicely done sir!
Comma looks good Cando!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on April 18, 2017, 08:02:00 AM
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Nicely done sir!
Comma looks good Cando!
Congrats on the comma!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Doc2quit4good on April 18, 2017, 09:34:00 AM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Nicely done sir!
Comma looks good Cando!
Congrats on the comma!!!
Here's to the candyman on his comma day!!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on April 20, 2017, 11:48:00 PM
Quote from: doc2quit4good
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: CavMan83
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: D2maine
congrats candy man (https://youtu.be/AYihDAhVPko)
New ring tone set.... Just for KTC contacts. Thank you D2
Nice job Mr. C! Proud of you.
Nicely done sir!
Comma looks good Cando!
Congrats on the comma!!!
Here's to the candyman on his comma day!!!!
Congratulations on the comma my friend!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 25, 2017, 03:11:00 PM
Home is where you rest.
Home is where you recover.
Home is where you find comfort.
Home is where you start each day.
Home is where you always return.

KTC is where I recover.
KTC is where I find comfort.
KTC is where I start each day.
KTC is where I return daily.

KTC is home.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on June 23, 2017, 10:14:00 PM
2 hrs until Oct 17 opens! 'waiting' Excited for my 4th Oct.of quit. This is always a fun month, 'Sing and Drink' let's get this show on the road. 'trainwreck'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on June 27, 2017, 10:20:00 AM
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on June 27, 2017, 09:08:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on June 27, 2017, 09:14:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Medicff on June 27, 2017, 09:40:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on June 27, 2017, 11:07:00 PM
Quote from: Medicff
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
time and complacency are corrosive to a quit, simply post up every day and take that away. 30 seconds is not a burden.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on June 27, 2017, 11:49:00 PM
People change.....
I'm not changing what is good.
I quit with you.
Rawls 952
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on June 30, 2017, 08:45:00 PM
Your quit is yours. My quit is mine. However, My quit is stronger because of your quit. I can't let myself drop a day further behind you. I can't let you down and face the wrath. Call it competitiveness. I call it a true life. Thank you ? Man
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 12, 2017, 01:56:00 AM
1085 day or 55 weeks of quit. I know I can keep moving forward one day at a time and be successful. Yet I still find myself scared of tomorrow and overwhelmed. I try to retreat from the fear, quit, assign blame and most importantly try avoid it all together.

KTC continues to force me to come back, not run, not take the easy way out. I could go MIQ but I knew that I would take that route at some point, so I made my self accountable in every way I could think of. It sucks, because deep down I know the choices I have to make and don't want to.

I need to keep pushing harder in others aspects of what I do. Hopelessness died at the foot of the cross.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Thumblewort on July 12, 2017, 09:15:00 AM
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Medicff
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
time and complacency are corrosive to a quit, simply post up every day and take that away. 30 seconds is not a burden.
I have never thought of leaving in almost 1200 days because in these 3 years I have seen multiple 1000+ day caves. Hell, I post roll on 2 different sites because caving is not an option. Stay strong folks, 1000 days is the magical cure day.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on July 15, 2017, 06:47:00 PM
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Medicff
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
time and complacency are corrosive to a quit, simply post up every day and take that away. 30 seconds is not a burden.
I have never thought of leaving in almost 1200 days because in these 3 years I have seen multiple 1000+ day caves. Hell, I post roll on 2 different sites because caving is not an option. Stay strong folks, 1000 days is the magical cure day.
I think this totally rational. It gets real frustrating to see so few of the people who were involved in my quit still posting, and there is a good chance that if you leave you'll stay quit.....but we all know it's out there, the scenario where you do cave...whether it's because you are drinking, or with old buddies, or all alone, we probably all have a series of events that if they do occur, we'd cave. Even if those events occurring are rare, I want to have KTC behind me. So I post, to dwindling numbers of people, but I post anyway. And today I quit with you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 15, 2017, 08:54:00 PM
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: Thumblewort
Quote from: D2maine
Quote from: Medicff
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: Candoit
Day 1071

Still find myself thinking of leaving. I know that I will eventually justify "just one" if I am not here. Always have, so I stay. My promise to a bunch of addicts continues to keep me quit.
wow, totally with you, thinkin hard on it, but the reason I stay is because then I'll have no outs.
Everyday we take it off the table, it is what works. I always try and justify decisions. Being an addict I know I will take the smallest crack and blow it wide open. As much as it pisses me off at times, KTC continues to be what I need.
Glad to see you totally still dedicated. I struggle to make roll some days. Proud of you for staying dedicated.
time and complacency are corrosive to a quit, simply post up every day and take that away. 30 seconds is not a burden.
I have never thought of leaving in almost 1200 days because in these 3 years I have seen multiple 1000+ day caves. Hell, I post roll on 2 different sites because caving is not an option. Stay strong folks, 1000 days is the magical cure day.
I think this totally rational. It gets real frustrating to see so few of the people who were involved in my quit still posting, and there is a good chance that if you leave you'll stay quit.....but we all know it's out there, the scenario where you do cave...whether it's because you are drinking, or with old buddies, or all alone, we probably all have a series of events that if they do occur, we'd cave. Even if those events occurring are rare, I want to have KTC behind me. So I post, to dwindling numbers of people, but I post anyway. And today I quit with you.
So I post, to dwindling numbers of people, but I post anyway. I hear that from so many, even after HOF. I crave the accountability that comes from building relationships on here, I go in search of it. For the most part that comes with new quitters. My deal is simple, I will post daily with you only if you are willing to call me out if I am missing. Not oh you posted somewhere else, ect..... Hold my feet to the fire. I don't give a damn if I am 1000 days ahead of you. I am still 1 series of events from a day 1. I have more to loose, more is at stake and quit is who I am. But I am an addict, I will justify and rationalize, the smallest thought, till I have given myself premission. I need those quitters to smack my ego back in check or stop the justification games.
I don't want to kid myself, I still have those thoughts, but I know how to deal with them. I am here because I am an addict and no number of days will ever change that.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on July 23, 2017, 09:40:00 AM
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on July 23, 2017, 11:50:00 AM
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on July 23, 2017, 12:50:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pky1520 on July 23, 2017, 06:59:00 PM
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Nomore1959 on July 23, 2017, 07:04:00 PM
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChristopherJ on July 24, 2017, 07:13:00 AM
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on July 24, 2017, 09:11:00 AM
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Way to Go candy, thanks for your support to us quitters sir!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: GrizzlySlave on July 24, 2017, 10:07:00 AM
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Way to Go candy, thanks for your support to us quitters sir!
awesome. Kudos
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on July 24, 2017, 10:31:00 AM
Quote from: GrizzlySlave
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Way to Go candy, thanks for your support to us quitters sir!
awesome. Kudos
Well done Brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Jubs on July 25, 2017, 10:17:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: GrizzlySlave
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Way to Go candy, thanks for your support to us quitters sir!
awesome. Kudos
Well done Brother!
Well done, sir!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: D2maine on July 26, 2017, 06:14:00 AM
Quote from: Jubs
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: GrizzlySlave
Quote from: JB65
Quote from: ChristopherJ
Quote from: Nomore1959
Quote from: pky1520
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: ChickDip
Quote from: FLLipOut
3 YEARS!!!

'party' Congratulations, Candyman, on three fantastic years of quit! 'party'

And thank you for teaching us all what "paying it forward" really looks like. KTC is a far better place because of your passion and leadership!!

'party2' 'party2' 'party2' 'party2'
Congrats on 3 years quit Candi!
Thank you for the support!
Ewe know what Flocking the Herd is call about. ;)
Congrats on 3 years. You've touched a lot of lives. Keep up all you do.
Congrats on 3 years Candoit!
3 years is awesome Candoit! Congratulations!
Congrats on 3 Years!
Way to Go candy, thanks for your support to us quitters sir!
awesome. Kudos
Well done Brother!
Well done, sir!
this right here is awesome! well done!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on July 28, 2017, 07:11:00 PM
For me..... reference day 1102...
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: GrizzlySlave
5 days / 6 hours....

Thanks guys, for all the input.

Today was hellish
Today is done! You made it. Stand a little bit taller because you have stayed quit. Tomorrow will be what ever you make it. I have faith that you will be strong enough to make it through. I know this because I am stong enough to help you bear what ever cross you need to.

I don't know if your reglious or not. I don't want to be preachy or pushy, but this is the way I see the help at KTC. A good friend and quitter helped me understand this....
Even Jesus, the son of God, needed help to bear the cross. He did not ask for it, God sent it through those tasked with killing him. Our job is recognize the help He sends and accept it.

You got this.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: CavMan83 on July 28, 2017, 08:31:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
For me..... reference day 1102...
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: GrizzlySlave
5 days / 6 hours....

Thanks guys, for all the input.

Today was hellish
Today is done! You made it. Stand a little bit taller because you have stayed quit. Tomorrow will be what ever you make it. I have faith that you will be strong enough to make it through. I know this because I am stong enough to help you bear what ever cross you need to.

I don't know if your reglious or not. I don't want to be preachy or pushy, but this is the way I see the help at KTC. A good friend and quitter helped me understand this....
Even Jesus, the son of God, needed help to bear the cross. He did not ask for it, God sent it through those tasked with killing him. Our job is recognize the help He sends and accept it.

You got this.
All Good, Red. All Good. Enjoy your weekend brother and rest up a bit!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 10, 2017, 10:39:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I am so broken right now. I don't know how to deal with anything. It is my fault the marriage fell apart. We talked again for a while last night.

It comes down to the fact that I am broken and lost. She said that I am going through this "mid life crisis" and she can not do it. "What ever happened to the person you were? What did that woman (my boss last boss) do to you? You used to be confident and social, now you are a hermit and weak. I have to protect the girls and right now we can't do that. I don't know if our marriage can be saved, but you need to fix you before anything else."

I don't know how to fix me. I am out of ideas, I saught professional help before and it didn't help. I don't know even where to begin.
Saturday will be 2 years, 730 +1's. I cannot believe what a difference faith in God, myself and KTC has done for me. I would not be standing, let alone quit with out many of you. I can not ever repay what you all have given me, I truly do thank everyone of you.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on August 12, 2017, 08:37:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Candoit
I am so broken right now. I don't know how to deal with anything. It is my fault the marriage fell apart. We talked again for a while last night.

It comes down to the fact that I am broken and lost. She said that I am going through this "mid life crisis" and she can not do it. "What ever happened to the person you were? What did that woman (my boss last boss) do to you? You used to be confident and social, now you are a hermit and weak. I have to protect the girls and right now we can't do that. I don't know if our marriage can be saved, but you need to fix you before anything else."

I don't know how to fix me. I am out of ideas, I saught professional help before and it didn't help. I don't know even where to begin.
Saturday will be 2 years, 730 +1's. I cannot believe what a difference faith in God, myself and KTC has done for me. I would not be standing, let alone quit with out many of you. I can not ever repay what you all have given me, I truly do thank everyone of you.
Wow! What a climb for you! Glad to have your support, and glad to give you some of my support. Congrats on two years.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on September 04, 2017, 02:37:00 AM
'Birthday' cando!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 05, 2017, 11:15:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
'Birthday' cando!
Yesterday was the 4th birthday nicotine free. Spent the day with the family.

Helped the inlaws with their car show.
Went shopping with the girls and ended up with another dog... A havanse puppy 10 weeks old.

Puppy vs thickness planer.... My 9  6 yr olds won out in the end.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pky1520 on September 06, 2017, 10:29:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: ChickDip
'Birthday' cando!
Yesterday was the 4th birthday nicotine free. Spent the day with the family.

Helped the inlaws with their car show.
Went shopping with the girls and ended up with another dog... A havanse puppy 10 weeks old.

Puppy vs thickness planer.... My 9  6 yr olds won out in the end.
Enjoy the new addition to the family!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on September 16, 2017, 09:24:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
My thoughts on the last bit of drama. (Monkeater  Oct 17)
Fades to black.... We are in the kitchen at the 2014 Group Home.... Noise in the background of moving chairs and clicking glasses.
Candoit - Damn it! Cavman where you put the Kool aid?
Cavman - There is a keg of the blue in the basement.
Candoit - That was here when we moved in. I don't trust something that pre dates Syndrome. Where's the red?
Cavman - I think it's next to the keg o' rator then.
Candoit - Walking around the corner into the denFor fuk sake! FishFlorida (displaced by the hurricane) just because it's hotter than balls and you have no power doesn't mean you can ice down your balls on the keg. Make yourself somewhat useful and help move the keg to the porch.
FishFlorida - Candy don't get your quit in a twist. I will clean up afterwards.
Candoit - Using FLLIPOUT's cat to wipe your balls doesn't count, besides that's the only pussy you can get.
FishFlorida - FU CDI
Candoit - let's get this done, so you can get back to what ever it is that you do around here.
FishFlorida and Candoit move the keg to the porch. There is a hiss and a click as the keg is tapped.
Cavman helps himself the first glass.

Candoit - What in the Quit, Cav! Always showing up after the works done.
Cavman - Its a union job and I am the supervisor. When you going to figure that out?
Candoit - Cav you must lick car batteries for living. Candoit turns to yard and whistles towards the 2017 block
Candoit - yelling Hey Commies' I just tapped a keg. Turning away, mumbling something about new quitters.
October 17 comes pouring through the gate, in the middle of the crowd, Broccoli, Samrs, ProHunter and DavidS sneak in.

Cavman - Hey FishFace! Get your ban hammer ready we have a few stow aways.
FishFlorida - You know I can't do that.
Cavman - They don't know that.
FishFlorida - Oh! Runs into the house. Banging and clanking come from inside. Runs out side with the end of a broken fishing pole.The best I can do. Holds it up and shakes it at Samr's.
Samrs - Fish no one needs to see you playing with your rod.
FishFlorida - Samrs, I ban you!
Samrs - Fish your about as effective the banjo minnow.
FishFlorida - That was low.
Samrs - Well you make too easy.
FishFlorida - Yeah.... Grabs a cup of Kool aid and goes to a chair on the porch, playing with his broken rod.
Cavman - Mr. C you going fill me and or them in in why we tapped the keg?
Candoit - Pounds the first glass of Kool aid and pours #2 Cav the drama and avoidance of the drama.
Cavman - Oh! October quitters are usually sharp. But they are about 20 days behind.
Candoit - At least they got it, September gets lost trying to find the quote button.
Cavman - Listen we straightened Jubs out, took alot of Hortons and Molsen Ice, but it got done.
Candoit - The goats or Jubs?
Cavman - Red for fuk sake.
Candoit - That's what I am asking.
Cavman - Molsen Ice was involved.
Candoit - Noted. walks over to the stairs and sits down Commies' listen we all get tired of the drama, but you all need to realize that it is a necessary part of quitting. everyone pulls up a seat around the porch. A loud thud comes from the house. Candoit stands up and looks up at the second floor. Sweet baby Jesus, Flaw! Stop licking the windows we have guests. a low squel is heard as Flaw's face is falling to the bottom of the window I apologise for that. We are all addicts that realized we where never in control of your lives.
Canstopwillstop - What ya mean?
Cavman - You all used to always make sure you had a can on you? With a back up?
Candoit - How many of you put old cans together to get at least 1 more?
Cschilling1 - I know I did grumbling of agreement
Candoit - Why? Because you were hard up and needed a fix.
Cavman - We got walked around by our short hairs by the nic bitch.
Willy75 - What does this have to do with drama?
Cavman - Everything.
Candoit - When we hang on to any illusion of control we will do anything to keep it. So when someone challenges that reality.
Sayingadios - We come out swinging.
Beckyt85 - They start causing drama to distract from the fact.
FishFlorida - Pulling a Hillary?
Candoit - Yes, but pulling Hillary's rod all on you. I am sure that Slick Willy will have no problem with it.
Jacobmldn - So when some special butterflies come in blowing a blizzard vs Hillary they are
Oliver88 - cutting back on the extra protein? Cavman shoots Kool aid out of his nose.
Candoit - Not bad Oliver, nicely done. To you point Jacobmldn, they are covering or trying to have some control over something.
Jacobmldn - so because they can't control their own lives, they cause drama to have some control over something?
Candoit - 99% correct. It is all of us.
Cavman - wiping his shirt off, leaving a big red stripe. He looks down and shakes his head and smiles At least its not spit juice. But Candy is right. Drama, or avoidance of, is always someone's open door or excuse to leave. Life is always going to have drama. We can not run from it because we dont want to face it.
Candoit - KTC is always helping you get ready, sharping your tools.
GrizzlySlave - Like Cav and his goats?
Candoit - Exactly!
Blackjp4dr - How are we to face drama in person if we can't handle it online?
Candoit - Standing up and high fiving Blackjp4dr Damn fukn straight. When you realize and embrace that you have started to regain control of your life in a positive manner.
Cavman - You can't gain control til you let go of it. You see Loud chant from down the street gets louder and louder, drowning out Cavman as he continues to talk Toga! Toga! Toga!
Candoit - turning to FishFlorida Did you text Oct 16?
FishFlorida - putting his rod down- Maybe
Candoit - We are done Commrads. I can not be responsible for the tire fire that is about to insue. Waving to Cavman Let's go get the blue Kool aid for the DF and tell them it's Ecto Cooler.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on October 01, 2017, 09:19:00 PM
I am done, my give a damn is tapped out.

I do not care what you do.
I do not care what you believe.
I do not care how you live.
I do not care who took a knee and who didn't.
I do not care if you agree with Trump or not.
I do not care if you are offended by what others do or say.

I am not apologizing for being born a white male.
I am not apologizing for being raised in a house with both parents.
I am not apologizing for being raised with a healthy fear of God.
I am not apologizing for being taught that sweat is free.
I am not apologizing for letting my morals guide me.
I am not apologizing for anything that I did not do.

I control me.
I control my actions.
I control my reactions.

I accept that I will say and do things that will offended others.
I accept that I will not make everyone happy.
I accept that everyone will not agree with me 100% of the time.
I accept the fact that people have different values and opinions than my own.

You want me to listen to you?
You want me to respect your prospective?
You want me to understand?

Do not force me to take your side based on guilt.
Do not force me to tell you that your right based on some category.
Do not force me to play your games of microagessions and hurt feelings.
Do not point fingers at anyone but yourself.

I will find my opinion of the situation, based on what you and others have said.
My opinion maybe different than yours.
My opinions is mine and no two opinions are exactly the same.

Learn to accept that and we will begin to find that there is a lot more in common than anyone believes.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on November 03, 2017, 12:26:00 PM
Congrats on the 12th floor Candi!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: RWBullet on November 03, 2017, 01:50:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on the 12th floor Candi!!
Way to go Candoit, you one BAQ, congrats on the 12th floor 'clap'
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on November 03, 2017, 03:09:00 PM
Quote from: RWBullet
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on the 12th floor Candi!!
Way to go Candoit, you one BAQ, congrats on the 12th floor 'clap'
Congrats on 12 floors. Thanks for your support. ItÂ’s rejuvenated my quit
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 03, 2017, 06:56:00 PM
I need you.
Those that are: Just quit, Foggy quit, Angry quit
HOFER'S, 365 days deep, Half dangle's, Comma's, 3,650 +1's and all in between. You fuel my quit.

Keep me honest.
Keep me connected.
Keep me inspired.
Keep me in awe of what we can do with the freedom.

No matter what is going on KTC will always provide what I need to help me. I will continue to pay the price for my freedom. Freedom is earned not given.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: dipbegone on November 03, 2017, 09:46:00 PM
Pure badassery. 1200 freedom days. Keep paving that road for your friends . Proud of ya brother!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on November 07, 2017, 10:41:00 PM
Poof
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on November 07, 2017, 11:04:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
I need you.
Those that are: Just quit, Foggy quit, Angry quit
HOFER'S, 365 days deep, Half dangle's, Comma's, 3,650 +1's and all in between. You fuel my quit.

Keep me honest.
Keep me connected.
Keep me inspired.
Keep me in awe of what we can do with the freedom.

No matter what is going on KTC will always provide what I need to help me. I will continue to pay the price for my freedom. Freedom is earned not given.

Well done Candoit...1200 Rocks!

Freedom is truly earned!
But once earned.. Can it be given away as a gift......
If I receive it as a gift.

Im not positive I earned it.

Grace... An undeserved gift of freedom!
I quit with you today brother!

Rawls 1086
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 08, 2017, 12:05:00 AM
*poof* this one lingers for a moment like a dog fart in the middle of the night. The kind when the wife wakes you up because she thinks someone shat themselves.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on November 08, 2017, 07:00:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: Candoit
I need you.
Those that are: Just quit, Foggy quit, Angry quit
HOFER'S, 365 days deep, Half dangle's, Comma's, 3,650 +1's and all in between. You fuel my quit.

Keep me honest.
Keep me connected.
Keep me inspired.
Keep me in awe of what we can do with the freedom.

No matter what is going on KTC will always provide what I need to help me. I will continue to pay the price for my freedom. Freedom is earned not given.

Well done Candoit...1200 Rocks!

Freedom is truly earned!
But once earned.. Can it be given away as a gift......
If I receive it as a gift.

Im not positive I earned it.

Grace... An undeserved gift of freedom!
I quit with you today brother!

Rawls 1086
We don't ask for Grace and Freedom. It is ours to accept and embrace. It always comes down to walking in the light or following our own will, a choice we make daily.

Just because we didn't ask for it doesn't mean we don't deserve it.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on November 08, 2017, 10:20:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: Candoit
I need you.
Those that are: Just quit, Foggy quit, Angry quit
HOFER'S, 365 days deep, Half dangle's, Comma's, 3,650 +1's and all in between. You fuel my quit.

Keep me honest.
Keep me connected.
Keep me inspired.
Keep me in awe of what we can do with the freedom.

No matter what is going on KTC will always provide what I need to help me. I will continue to pay the price for my freedom. Freedom is earned not given.

Well done Candoit...1200 Rocks!

Freedom is truly earned!
But once earned.. Can it be given away as a gift......
If I receive it as a gift.

Im not positive I earned it.

Grace... An undeserved gift of freedom!
I quit with you today brother!

Rawls 1086
We don't ask for Grace and Freedom. It is ours to accept and embrace. It always comes down to walking in the light or following our own will, a choice we make daily.

Just because we didn't ask for it doesn't mean we don't deserve it.
Congratulations my friend! Well deserved. Thanks for showing me and so many others the way!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 03, 2018, 09:44:00 PM
Quit For You
You quit for you. You came here for a way to quit and the brotherhood showed you the way. You always need to be selfish and quit for you.

Quit With Your Brothers
The brotherhood is what makes this real. This is the lifeblood of KTC, with out this KTC doesn't exist. Brotherhood is created by interaction and our willingness to be held accountable. The size of your brotherhood is not bound by anyone but yourself.

Quit Because It Matters
This is life or death. If you don't think it is, your in the wrong place. Posting roll, matters, it is why you came here in the first place, to quit.

QFYQWYBQBIM
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on January 03, 2018, 09:56:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quit For You
You quit for you. You came here for a way to quit and the brotherhood showed you the way. You always need to be selfish and quit for you.

Quit With Your Brothers
The brotherhood is what makes this real. This is the lifeblood of KTC, with out this KTC doesn't exist. Brotherhood is created by interaction and our willingness to be held accountable. The size of your brotherhood is not bound by anyone but yourself.

Quit Because It Matters
This is life or death. If you don't think it is, your in the wrong place. Posting roll, matters, it is why you came here in the first place, to quit.

QFYQWYBQBIM
That acronym was driving me crazy...thanks for spelling it out! roflmao

And good stuff!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 10, 2018, 10:30:00 AM
Arrow Season 4 Episode 23 "Schism" Graveyard 37:16 - 38:16
Felicity: You okay?
Oliver: No. It's Thea and John.
Felicity: Them leaving has to be a blow.
Oliver: They are leaving because of their own personal darkness. I can't help but think they we're infected by mine.
Felicity: Maybe. Like you said, maybe you can't subcome to the darkness maybe even a little bit. But you where able to defeat Dark by giving the city it's hope back.
Oliver: Are you saying this is all black and white?
Felicity: I am saying there is a man who killed Dark in cold blood. And that same man stood on top of a car and gave the city it's hope back. What your feeling isn't darkness it's a schism. You are at war with two sides of yourself.

When you quit, it is always a personal war with yourself. There is a schism between the person who wants to run from the world and the person who wants to face the reality. Nicotine provide a false shield from the reality, the darkness. To stay quit we can not run from that darkness, we must stand tall and face it. This causes a schism, a delma, a choice. Either we must subcome to the darkness, run, hide and uses nicotine as a blanket to protect us. Or we must stand and use the truth to free is from our own twisted reality. In the end it is only ourselves that control our desnity. Either we live under false pretenses and let our addiction control the outcome or we accept the darkness and show us the direction towards the light.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on January 17, 2018, 10:20:00 PM
I don't get it. Why do we always seem to think reinvent the wheel is the best course of action?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on February 11, 2018, 12:14:00 PM
Congrats on hitting the 13th floor Candi!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on February 11, 2018, 10:12:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 13th floor Candi!
Well done brother...
Rawls 1182
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FISHFLORIDA on February 12, 2018, 05:27:00 AM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 13th floor Candi!
Well done brother...
Rawls 1182
Proud to be quit with you man. They usually leave the 13th floor out of high-rises, but we'll make an exception!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: JB65 on February 12, 2018, 09:39:00 AM
Quote from: FISHFLORIDA
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 13th floor Candi!
Well done brother...
Rawls 1182
Proud to be quit with you man. They usually leave the 13th floor out of high-rises, but we'll make an exception!
Great stuff man! Thanks for your support to newbies and vets alike. LKC is successful because of committed quitters giving back like YOU!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: 69franx on February 12, 2018, 12:55:00 PM
A day late, but I got you in text yesterday, Congrats on the 13th floor brother. Thanx for all your help the last 196 days of my quit as well as everything else you do around here to help others.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 12, 2018, 07:36:00 PM
From May 15, 2-12-18
At 1,301 days @100%, I don't intend on loosing that 100%. But there might be a time where I have an off day, who is going to track me down? Or is everyone going to say it's Candy and he will post up later?
I don't want to question who will hold me accountable rather I want to be able to ask who won't?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on February 13, 2018, 06:19:00 AM
Quote from: Candoit
From May 15, 2-12-18
At 1,301 days @100%, I don't intend on loosing that 100%. But there might be a time where I have an off day, who is going to track me down? Or is everyone going to say it's Candy and he will post up later?
I don't want to question who will hold me accountable rather I want to be able to ask who won't?
When you are as involved as you are here you leave a large wake behind you Candy. YouÂ’ll be tracked down. Congrats on 1300.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on February 16, 2018, 10:47:00 PM
Quitting is continuous action, it is the process of us becoming whole. As addicts we patch our holes with a substance, avoiding those flaws and insecurities with a feverant vervor. This locus of control we place over avoidance is soon replaced by axenity because we are out of control. We can no longer hide, run or burry the truth. We must learn to respect and deal with the person who we truely are. To quit we must give up control. We must trust others so we can learn to trust ourselves. Only then can we begin letting the holes become full, the flaws become gifts and the insecurities become the foundation of our lives.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on March 05, 2018, 09:58:00 AM
Text 3/4/2018 Dipbegone  Candoit
1322879. Waiting for the police escort of a fallen sheriffs deputy from my small town. Shot chasing suspect few blocks from my sons school Friday. Somber but quit.Character in the last moments is a reminder of how he was in life.How about this; he turned the corner of an apartment building was struck in the face by a shot and his K9, Brik, who was ahead about to apprehend the suspect, immediately returned to Dep Pickett and later on him to protect him. Loyalty and love at its deepest At its purestAmenGod speed to him and his familyAmen brother. Amen
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 15, 2018, 08:36:00 AM
Ephesians 5:15-16
15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Following your gut to KTC is the LordsÂ’ wisdom working in you. Sharing the wisdom is the Lord working through you.

Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

We are here because we have gained this specific wisdom and understanding and are to be the crutch for our brothers. Helping others find there way to freedom is a gift that not only fills our hearts with joy but causes it to over flow.

Psalm 119:105
105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

We light their path to freedom.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on May 22, 2018, 10:03:00 AM
Congrats on hitting the 14th floor Candi!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: DonkeyMN on May 22, 2018, 11:45:00 AM
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 14th floor Candi!
Congrats on 1400 days. You are a heck of a presence around here and deeply appreciated.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Skolvikings on May 22, 2018, 05:24:00 PM
Congrats on that huge milestone, you have helped my quit.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Tjschu on May 23, 2018, 08:40:00 AM
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 14th floor Candi!
Congrats on 1400 days. You are a heck of a presence around here and deeply appreciated.
Congrats on 1400 days quit! Thanks for all you do around here!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 23, 2018, 09:24:00 AM
Always like the floor +1. Both a celebration and a reminder that our work isn't done.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on May 23, 2018, 12:33:00 PM
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 14th floor Candi!
Congrats on 1400 days. You are a heck of a presence around here and deeply appreciated.
Congrats on 1400 days quit! Thanks for all you do around here!
Congrats my friend and brother! Well done
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 23, 2018, 09:03:00 PM
August 2018 Post#3508

Drama is a constant. Drama is the FORCE of KTC

It has a light side
It has a dark side
It holds us together
It splits us apart

It is always about which side you choose to see or follow. There are others that acknowledge its existence but donÂ’t embrace it. There are others that seek it and embrace it. It is always what you choose. There is no try only do.

All analogies aside, drama is nothing more than a bunch of addicts trying to find a new reality.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on May 24, 2018, 09:28:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: tjschu
Quote from: DonkeyMN
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on hitting the 14th floor Candi!
Congrats on 1400 days. You are a heck of a presence around here and deeply appreciated.
Congrats on 1400 days quit! Thanks for all you do around here!
Congrats my friend and brother! Well done
Congrats again, Candyman! 'party' And thank you for your support EDD!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 25, 2018, 04:45:00 PM
Been debating about sharing this with you all, but when 69Franx reached out to me about my intro, I felt I needed to share. Thank you Brother!

About a month ago, found out that one of my brothers, was arrested in child predator federal sting. This put some serious stress on multiple fronts...
A. My parents. It took the better part of the month to get it out of them that they are not paying for his bail or lawyer. They are willing to be power of attorney and pay bills ect... But this also cost them their Granddaughter who they practically raised, she is 13. I donÂ’t know if they have even spoken to her since. Additionally they live in the same town as he did. Embarrassed to say the least.
B. My wife. Now she is a teacher that works in that area, geographically. Had multiple people come up to her and ask her about it, even at her high school reunion. This made her remove her last name from Facebook. When my parents were sounding like they supported him, she with drew from them, too.
C. My brothers  sister. They all live out of state, therefore that put me in the middle as the gatherer and dispenser of information. I really donÂ’t want anything to do with him or this role, but my hand is forced.
D. Me. I had to play neutral in this for my parents and siblings sake. If I wanted information then I needed to keep all lines open. In my opinion he is guilty and needs to pay for his actions. The charges and the way he was caught isnÂ’t a wrong place at a wrong time, thing. 3 states away, in a federal operation. Yeah your done. He isnÂ’t allowed near my family or my home.

This past Tuesday spent an hour talking with my father about the whole thing. He feels the same way as I do, now. He stated it this way... “he made this sick bed now he had to sleep in it. We still can’t find his car, it will show up at some point. He ruined his life but I won’t let it ruin ours.” The thing that made me feel better was that he understands that I want him no where near or associated with me or my family. They no longer have an Uncle ****

At this point I am much less stressed about this. This is today, tomorrow?
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: 69franx on May 25, 2018, 06:58:00 PM
Had to find the time to get caught up. Like I said yesterday, so sorry that this is happening. So sorry that you are stuck in the middle. If you need anything let me know and I'm there for you brother
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on May 30, 2018, 08:52:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Been debating about sharing this with you all, but when 69Franx reached out to me about my intro, I felt I needed to share. Thank you Brother!

About a month ago, found out that one of my brothers, was arrested in child predator federal sting. This put some serious stress on multiple fronts...
A. My parents. It took the better part of the month to get it out of them that they are not paying for his bail or lawyer. They are willing to be power of attorney and pay bills ect... But this also cost them their Granddaughter who they practically raised, she is 13. I donÂ’t know if they have even spoken to her since. Additionally they live in the same town as he did. Embarrassed to say the least.
B. My wife. Now she is a teacher that works in that area, geographically. Had multiple people come up to her and ask her about it, even at her high school reunion. This made her remove her last name from Facebook. When my parents were sounding like they supported him, she with drew from them, too.
C. My brothers  sister. They all live out of state, therefore that put me in the middle as the gatherer and dispenser of information. I really donÂ’t want anything to do with him or this role, but my hand is forced.
D. Me. I had to play neutral in this for my parents and siblings sake. If I wanted information then I needed to keep all lines open. In my opinion he is guilty and needs to pay for his actions. The charges and the way he was caught isnÂ’t a wrong place at a wrong time, thing. 3 states away, in a federal operation. Yeah your done. He isnÂ’t allowed near my family or my home.

This past Tuesday spent an hour talking with my father about the whole thing. He feels the same way as I do, now. He stated it this way... “he made this sick bed now he had to sleep in it. We still can’t find his car, it will show up at some point. He ruined his life but I won’t let it ruin ours.” The thing that made me feel better was that he understands that I want him no where near or associated with me or my family. They no longer have an Uncle ****

At this point I am much less stressed about this. This is today, tomorrow?
Found out he plead guilty. Personally think that is the most mature thing he has done in a long time. But as far as I know he is still awaiting arraignment.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on July 23, 2018, 12:44:00 PM
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: 69franx on July 23, 2018, 01:11:00 PM
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: SRains918 on July 23, 2018, 03:39:00 PM
Quote from: 69Franx
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Congrats on four years of quit!!!

Thank you for all you have done for those of us that have come after you!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on July 23, 2018, 07:58:00 PM
Quote from: srains918
Quote from: 69Franx
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Congrats on four years of quit!!!

Thank you for all you have done for those of us that have come after you!
Congratulations on the 4 years my brother! Thanks for all your support!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on July 23, 2018, 08:42:00 PM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: srains918
Quote from: 69Franx
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Congrats on four years of quit!!!

Thank you for all you have done for those of us that have come after you!
Congratulations on the 4 years my brother! Thanks for all your support!
Candyman turns four!!! 'party' Congrats dear friend on an outstanding quit and thank you for your support every day!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: BBQchips on July 23, 2018, 09:21:00 PM
Four years! Congratulations Can. Thanks for all of your support. Here is to many more wins.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on July 23, 2018, 09:39:00 PM
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: srains918
Quote from: 69Franx
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Congrats on four years of quit!!!

Thank you for all you have done for those of us that have come after you!
Congratulations on the 4 years my brother! Thanks for all your support!
Candyman turns four!!! 'party' Congrats dear friend on an outstanding quit and thank you for your support every day!!!
So proud of you Cando! Reread your intro... what a journey. Thanks for sharing some of it with me.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on July 24, 2018, 09:49:00 AM
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: FLLipOut
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: srains918
Quote from: 69Franx
Quote from: ChickDip
Congrats on 4 years quit Candi!
Congrats brother! Keep up the great work, both in your quit and here on KTC. You make a difference every day, for 1462 days
Congrats on four years of quit!!!

Thank you for all you have done for those of us that have come after you!
Congratulations on the 4 years my brother! Thanks for all your support!
Candyman turns four!!! 'party' Congrats dear friend on an outstanding quit and thank you for your support every day!!!
So proud of you Cando! Reread your intro... what a journey. Thanks for sharing some of it with me.
Well done brother...
Rawls 1345
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: BBQchips on August 30, 2018, 07:26:00 AM
Congrats on the 15th floor. Proud to be QWYT and every day. Enjoy the view from up there.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: ChickDip on August 30, 2018, 08:19:00 AM
Quote from: BBQchips
Congrats on the 15th floor. Proud to be QWYT and every day. Enjoy the view from up there.
CONGRATS ON 1500 CANDI !
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Skolvikings on August 30, 2018, 01:12:00 PM
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Rawls on August 30, 2018, 02:13:00 PM
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Candoit on August 30, 2018, 02:46:00 PM
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
About 3.65 seconds

Assuming
- 10 ft per floor of height
- 0.1 lb stone
- Drag Coefficient Of 0.05
- Cross sectional area of 1

The terminal velocity is 41 ft/sec

Anyways Quit With You All Damn Day
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Batdad on August 30, 2018, 02:50:00 PM
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
About 3.65 seconds

Assuming
- 10 ft per floor of height
- 0.1 lb stone
- Drag Coefficient Of 0.05
- Cross sectional area of 1

The terminal velocity is 41 ft/sec

Anyways Quit With You All Damn Day
Congrats on the comma and a half!!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: Dagranger on August 30, 2018, 02:56:00 PM
Quote from: batdad
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
About 3.65 seconds

Assuming
- 10 ft per floor of height
- 0.1 lb stone
- Drag Coefficient Of 0.05
- Cross sectional area of 1

The terminal velocity is 41 ft/sec

Anyways Quit With You All Damn Day
Congrats on the comma and a half!!
1500 from a fellow Nutmeg brutha! Congrats and thanks.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: copequits on August 30, 2018, 06:28:00 PM
Congratulations on the 15th floor! Thank you for the support.
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: pab1964 on August 31, 2018, 06:46:00 AM
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: batdad
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
About 3.65 seconds

Assuming
- 10 ft per floor of height
- 0.1 lb stone
- Drag Coefficient Of 0.05
- Cross sectional area of 1

The terminal velocity is 41 ft/sec

Anyways Quit With You All Damn Day
Congrats on the comma and a half!!
1500 from a fellow Nutmeg brutha! Congrats and thanks.
Attaboy Candyman! Congratulations on the 1500!
Title: Re: this time is for real
Post by: FLLipOut on August 31, 2018, 10:43:00 AM
Quote from: pab1964
Quote from: Dagranger
Quote from: batdad
Quote from: Candoit
Quote from: Rawls
Quote from: skolvikings
Congrats on 15th floor brother, proud to quit with you!!!!!!
Candy... If you throw a rock from the 15th floor to the parking lot.....
How many seconds does it take to hit the Nic B*$# in the head?

I quit with you Brother.
Rawls 1381
About 3.65 seconds

Assuming
- 10 ft per floor of height
- 0.1 lb stone
- Drag Coefficient Of 0.05
- Cross sectional area of 1

The terminal velocity is 41 ft/sec

Anyways Quit With You All Damn Day
Congrats on the comma and a half!!
1500 from a fellow Nutmeg brutha! Congrats and thanks.
Attaboy Candyman! Congratulations on the 1500!
1,500!!! Congrats Candy!!! 'party' And thanks for your daily support!!!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on July 23, 2019, 09:57:31 PM
Today is 1,827 days.... 5 years Quit.

I haven’t missed a day of roll yet, come close a few times, but something or someone always pulls me back. For that I am thankful and blessed.

Thank you KTC

Catch you on roll in the AM
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: FLLipOut on July 23, 2019, 11:30:52 PM
Today is 1,827 days.... 5 years Quit.

I haven’t missed a day of roll yet, come close a few times, but something or someone always pulls me back. For that I am thankful and blessed.

Thank you KTC

Catch you on roll in the AM

You rock, my friend.  It is hard to imagine KTC without your presence and passion. 
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on January 12, 2020, 07:46:11 PM
2,000 days

That’s a lot of quit.... yet to catch Mcarmo. That rat bastard is always 993 days in front of me. I would not have it any other way.

Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Bug Guy on January 12, 2020, 09:58:00 PM
2,000 days

That’s a lot of quit.... yet to catch Mcarmo. That rat bastard is always 993 days in front of me. I would not have it any other way.
Way to go Eric! Thanks for being so supportive in my quit. You're a badass and I'm PTQWYT!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Athan on January 15, 2020, 02:22:48 AM
2,000 days

That’s a lot of quit.... yet to catch Mcarmo. That rat bastard is always 993 days in front of me. I would not have it any other way.
Way to go Eric! Thanks for being so supportive in my quit. You're a badass and I'm PTQWYT!
Unfriggin believeable!! Thanks for paying it forward for so long!
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on September 27, 2020, 11:18:47 AM
The next +1.

Everyday there is a urge to go a little further, a little deeper, a little more invested in yourself.

Once every 100 days there appears a number that is awesome and celebrated, but it is the day after, the day everything goes back to “normal” that is more important than those zeros.

It is the next +1. The - - 01. It’s just a little sexier than the day before. 

You said this is not the end but another beginning. All beginnings come from some other beginnings end.
Title: Re: This Time Is For Real
Post by: Candoit on May 24, 2025, 12:17:01 PM
Just some random Saturday. For some reason (nothing to do with @ChickDip (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=164) tagging me) I rolled up my sleeves and dove in the new HOF groups.

What is old is new again.
The drama
The anger
The passion

To see it so far removed, it still feels like yesterday, but with a new prospective.

Experience tells you what is about to happen before it does because you can recognize the signs.

As the dust up in August 25 continues I am reminded of the vets told me and continued to for many, many days.

I am glad I am there to continue to pass on the wisdom that was given to me through the interactions here.

I do miss the format of this site and not fan of the discord model with the bots doing roll call. There is something to be said for the way this format forced you to engage.

Candoit- 3,959 QFYQWYBQBIM