KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: walterwhite on September 18, 2018, 11:53:03 AM
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Here is a link to the original...
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/my-quit-introduction-t10617.html#p3755415
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January 5th, 2016, 12:55 pm #1
Today is Day 2 of my quit. I have tried in the past to quit and I have failed them all. This time will be different because I know that what I need to do. I can never use nicotine again.
Here is a little background on me. I’m 42 years old. I started smoking in high school. Quit smoking when I was 26. Starting dipping on and off for a year at 29. I have been dipping 2 cans a day for the past 10 plus years. My most recent quit was December 4, 2014. I had to quit for a life insurance test. I really wanted to quit that time and was really enjoying life being not a slave to nicotine. It lasted for 7 months. I was going away for a guy’s weekend and I thought I could use that weekend and then go back to normal. In all honesty…I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums like this time. I used to post daily there but after my 100 days I starting to slack.
This time I know I’m an addict. I can never use nicotine. I will take this quit one day at a time. I will post roll call every day. I know that I will be tempted and that I will not fail in that temptation because I have made a promise to myself and to my new Brothers and Sisters that I will not use nicotine ever again!
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February 25th, 2016, 1:17 pm #8
Day 53...I feel shitty....but not that shitty if you know what I mean. I have come a long way since day 1. When I look back at the past 50 days I feel proud of myself. This is the first time that I have taken ownership of my quit. I have tried quitting in the past and have failed everyone of them. I always felt that I could have just one dip and go back to being quit. Nope...I am an addict and I can never have just one. I have told my wife that I was a ninja dipper...probably the best thing I have ever done. It has strengthen our marriage and made quitting real for me. I have nothing to hide. I enjoy being dip free. I enjoy not hiding from my family to get my fix. I enjoy not worrying if I have enough tins to last the weekend. I love being me!
The other day I was out for a run. I didn't have it. You runners know what I'm talking about. Every muscle burns and you feel you can't keep going. Every house you are saying...just one more house and I will stop but you keep on going and enduring the suck. The week before I had the best run in awhile. It felt like I was unstoppable and I could just run and run. I remember thinking...the suck....that is what quitting is about too. If every time I went for a run and it sucked I would probably never run again. But I continue to run because of those days that I feel unstoppable. You get this joy and sense of accomplishment that I am the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop me. We must endure the suck...to get stronger. If we didn't have the suck...we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Most days running(quitting) is no big deal...some days it really sucks...and other days it's just plain easy and it just fucking rocks.
To my future self...when the days are shitty like today...don't give up...because look how far you have come and look how many BAQ's are here supporting you. You never want a day 1 again. Remember that feeling of caving last year after 7 months of freedom. Remember those 6 months of feeling like a shithead for using until you took back control of your life and posted Day 1 - January 4, 2016.
P.S. Exercise really helps with THE SUCK.
ODAAT
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March 8th, 2016, 12:47 pm #10
Day 65…I feel like shit…I can’t tell if I’m getting sick, the funk coming back or a combo of the two. It seems like I only post when I feel like I do today. I find it helps so I’m back.
For the most part, I’m really enjoying my quit. Most days are easy and not too bad. Today sucks but I don’t have any crazy craves. I had some this past weekend. I cleaned out the basement and I would always have a dip in. Not this past weekend….nope…I’m quit. I’m proud of that win. The more I win the easier it gets to win those battles. I know I will continue to have these battles but I have the tools and desire to win. There is no room for failure in my quit.
Some things I have read that I would like to share…Give me this drama all day long. This is healing. This is real. This is honest. This is the rocky road to freedom.
This is not locker room, frat bullshit, this is what is supposed to be here. Many of us never lived as adults with out nicotine in our system. So everything here is not "relearning" but learning how to be functional adults. *if rky and waste are our bench marks we have a long way to go.
So, keep it up, own it!
This is so true. I have lived longer with nicotine controlling my life then without. How fucked up is that? So for everything I do and maybe for the rest of my life, I will be training my body and mind without nicotine.
I also had my first dip dream last night. I dreamed that I cave and I was OK with that. I wasn’t angry at myself and I started to write my answers to the 3 questions. How fucked up is this addiction? FU nic…not today. I QLF today.
Some things I’m happy about and have greatly improved since day 1…
1. When I drive…I don’t crave
2. After I eat…I don’t crave
Some things that I’m still ashamed about…I was a ninja dipper
1. Wife is going away all day this Saturday…first thought…oh goody…I can dip all day.
2. Son’s asks me to throw the baseball around…first thought…I can grab a dip.
Hoping with time these ashamed moments go away. But they are constant reminder on why this is an addiction and not a habit.
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March 23rd, 2016, 3:45 pm #12
Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.
These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.
So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?
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April 7th, 2016, 4:07 pm #17
Day 95..
This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that I’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.
It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.
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April 12th, 2016, 1:25 pm #24
I posted this in April 2016 but thought I would like to add this as my 100 day post...
I went over 150 days on my last stoppage. Today is day 100 and it feels so much different this time. The last time I wanted to be done with dipping. I hated feeding that addiction daily. Once I was free and at over 100 days I was loving life. But I didn’t realize that I was an addict. So once the opportunity came to buy a can to celebrate my freedom, I did it. It was awesome and I had no regrets. I thought…I can just buy one can for the weekend and then I can go back to my freedom. I did that but a week later I bought a new can because my addict brain said that it worked out well last time. After that I was hooked. Back to my 2 tin a day addiction. I remember thinking… Fuck Me, I’m hooked again. I was such a wimp that it took me 7 months later to finally QUIT. Even the day I quit…I had my doubts and almost bought a tin. Lucky for me I got to work and posted day 1 on KTC.
What I have learned this time…
1.I’m an Addict – I can never have just one.
2.ODAAT – one day at a time – I no longer need to worry about anything except today. Just get through today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow.
3.Make quitting a priority in your life. No excuses. Just do it.
4.QUIT – I’m quit – It is an attitude…it is a way a life. I no longer have to worry what will happen when the nic bitch comes calling. I tell her I’m QUIT and that is it.
5.Brotherhood – I have a group of new friends that are going through the same struggles of being Quit that I am. I can call any one of them and they will have my back.
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April 25th, 2016, 12:57 pm #28
Day 113. Pretty easy stretch of days. I'm liking it.
This past weekend was really busy and I thought about dip a lot. I would think while driving…I used to dip while driving. Also when I was doing yard work, after yard work, having a couple of beers and etc…Dip was constantly on my mind. I would think…go get a tin. It was nice to be able to think it and easily say…No….I’m quit. I have no desire to be a slave to the can ever again. I really enjoy my freedom. I know I’m not cured. I know by coming here each day to make my promise it just reinforces my quit. If I didn’t, I would forget the struggle of the first 100 days. I would forget that I’m an addict. That one never works out in the end.
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May 9th, 2016, 12:43 pm #29
Day 127...
This past Saturday just plan sucked. It felt like I was back at square one again. The nic bitch was calling my name all day long. It was whispering…just go buy a tin. I felt in control of the situation but it wasn’t very enjoyable. I was glad I made my promise early in the day. It was one of the tools that I used to overcome the whispering. Last night I had the most intense dip dream. I had caved and I thought…how do I hide this from the group? I was so disappointed in myself. Even after I woke up…I still felt like it was real. Today I feel this sense of disappointment in myself. Very weird. I haven’t felt right in a couple of days. Before this episode…I was cruising along and enjoying life.
Today I came across Wildirish317 signature and he had a link that I found useful…
Please read it…Two Stages of Withdrawal
https://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm (http://)
That got me thinking…how can someone just stop posting roll after HOF? Maybe they think they got this addiction under control? Maybe they don’t realize they are addicted anymore. We have lost 15 quitters since HOF. Think back to before you quit. How much did you want to quit? Where you willing to do everything in your power to quit? How much did you hate yourself for being a slave to the can? My question is…what has changed from day 1 that you think that you don’t need KTC? Have you been cured? I haven’t and this weekend was another wakeup call to double down and make sure I’m doing everything in my power to quit. I’m not going back to being a slave to the can because it just fucking sucks.
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May 18th, 2016, 1:33 pm #32
A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
I’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. I’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. I’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesn’t want to go away. I don’t have major craves but more of a longing…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. I’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
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May 31st, 2016, 1:20 pm #38
Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day long…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldn’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
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June 8th, 2016, 9:46 am #43
Day 157
I’m a major sports fan. I love watching it on TV. I’m from Philly so when any of the local teams are playing, I’m watching or following. I love watching March Madness, Golf Majors and Soccer too. So last night I get home from work and I’m thinking…this is perfect…Men’s national soccer team is playing tonight. I get this happy feeling come over me. I also get a crave from my old friend. It was a weird crave this time. In the past I would get this major crave that wouldn’t go away. Last night it was more a whisper. She was saying…remember me? I used to be by your side during these fun times…just me and you on the sofa. It won’t be the same without me. To get past these moments…I go back to the minute to minute thing that I did in the beginning of my quit. I had 3 hours till game time so I just keep myself busy and tried not to think about it anymore. By the time the game started, I really didn’t even think about again. ODAAT really works. Live in the moment. Don’t worry about the future…even if you are only talking a few hours. Thinking too far ahead has killed too many of my quits in the past. When I say live in the moment…you also have to be prepared for the future though. Just don’t dwell on it. Have a plan in place for those times that you think it might be too much.
On a side note…this is the longest I have been quit in 20 years. No way I’m going back and starting over. I’m doing everything to protect this Quit.
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July 13th, 2016, 1:20 pm #47
Day 192...Posted in my April group.
Anybody else watch the baseball ASG last night? They will be calling the NL batting champ award the Tony Gwynn award. Sadly he died from cancer caused from dipping in 2014. His family was on hand but I keep thinking…that totally sucks for his family. How sad. Don’t you think they wish Tony was there himself accepting that honor? I sure do. One of the positives…His death caused a bunch of people to quit and it just reinforced my quit last night. Never in my lifetime would I expect to get an honor like that but just in case I do…I want to be around to witness it. Maybe one of my children will get an award like that…Who knows but I want to be there in the flesh if they do.
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September 6th, 2016, 10:58 am #48
Day 247
Labor Day Weekend…the end of summer…the beginning of fall…football season. Too many triggers for me this past couple of days. I really struggled this weekend. The craving never really went away for me. I was sitting on my patio last night thinking about it…and what I realized is really scary.
Before finding KTC…I would have bought a tin this past weekend. There is no doubt in my mind.
Before KTC…I never realized that I was an addict. I would have bought a tin thinking one is ok. I would have thought…just this weekend. I would have thought…come Tuesday…I would just go back to quit. That is what I did in the past and it is why I never quit.
After finding KTC…this is what I know…
• I’m an addict
• One is never enough
• I’m quit
I have a different mindset. There is no justification for it. I’m done and so happy about it. Do I miss it sometimes? Yes. Do I hate nicotine and everything that went with it? Yes. Can I foresee myself going back to the tin? No fucking way. Why do you ask? I love being quit and make quitting a priority each day. Posting roll isn’t a chore for me. Posting roll is a way to make quitting a priority each day. I have worked way too hard for my freedom and I’m not about to piss it away.
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September 12th, 2016, 11:31 am #52
Posted this in April...Day 253
A couple of things I’m really happy about…
1-Eagles…I love football and they won.
2-I was sitting on my patio Friday night with some friends. One dips and we used to dip all the time together. He knows that I quit and tries to not dip around me. I was talking to him again and my quit and I said…I’m 250 days quit…he said that is awesome. He tells me that he can’t do it…he needs to dip while playing golf. The addict talk…I remember saying similar things in the past. He just isn’t ready to quit…I hope he gets ready soon…for him and his family.
3-Saturday night…played poker with some neighbors. I lost but I still consider it a win. Two neighbors dip…and they were dipping all night long. I thought it might be a problem for me but it turned out to be nothing. I never wanted to and I thought…this is awesome being quit. When I first quit…I never thought nights like this past weekend were possible…hanging around dippers, not craving and being actually happy about being quit.
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October 7th, 2016, 12:05 pm #55
Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to go…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didn’t know that I dipped. She said…fine…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasn’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situation…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This year…I told her we should go to the game again. I’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isn’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasn’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slave…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you don’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
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October 31st, 2016, 11:01 am #61
Posted this in April...Day 302
A couple of things I have noticed since quitting. I’m drinking too much. I feel like I have replaced nicotine with alcohol. I have made an effort to fix that. Also…when I’m stressed…I crave big time. I’m short tempered and can get really moody. This past Friday night it came to a head. I have a major project going at work. I have a major renovation being down at my house. My kids drive me nuts some (most) days. My wife is very supportive but calls out my behavior. I get home from work and find out that the kids want to carve pumpkins later that night. Before quitting…I would have a couple of beers and dip while they carved pumpkins. That night...I had neither and it wasn’t easy. I snapped at my daughter early that night…I have been snapping at her way to much and need to fix that too. My wife called me out on it. I head to the gym to see it that can fix my mood. I can’t remember the last time I worked out on a Friday night. I bang out 4 miles on the treadmill. I come home more relaxed but still craving bad. I tried to remain positive throughout the night. They carved their pumpkins and it was fun. I helped my daughter (she is 11) carve hers and at the end…she gave me a big hug and said, “Thanks, Dad, for helping me”. I felt like shit since I snapped at her earlier that evening.
Since quitting…I have found some major and minor behavioral flaws that I need to fix. I’m working at them. One day hopefully I will look back at me quitting nicotine as the moment that I grew up and became a better person, father, husband…
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December 8th, 2016, 12:05 pm #66
December 4, 2014…I tried to quit on this date. I would be over two years quit today. I would be 736 days quit…instead I’m 340. I quit for a life insurance test. I thought…this time I will stop for real. I made it over 150 days. One weekend I bought a can and you know how it goes…I was back to my 2 tins a day in no time. I remember thinking that I’m a failure and how disappointed I was in myself. It took me over 7 months to try again. I knew this quit had to be my last one. I was so done with it. Approaching one year quit I find myself looking back into my past and realizing how long I wasted feeding my addiction. I never realized that I was an addict. I always thought I could quit whenever I wanted. It makes me sad to think of the wasted money, time and energy to feed this addiction. The damage it did to my health. It still makes me angry to think that something could control my life AND that I had no idea that it was doing it. I think it helps to look back and learn from your mistakes. The problem is when that is all you doing. You need to look forward and grow each day. This year has been the best year of my life. I have made tremendous strides in improving myself. I felt it would be nice to list them…
1. I’m finally QUIT.
2. I told my wife that I was a ninja dipper. Our marriage is stronger. I’m no longer hiding something from her.
3. I told my son and daughter that I’m an addict. I hope they never try nicotine.
4. I realized that I substituted alcohol for nicotine. I have made great strides and proud of where I’m at with it.
5. I have become a better father. My kids always called me Scourge. I never wanted to do anything because I wanted to be by myself to ninja dip. I love doing things with my family now.
6. I have become a better person. I’m more relaxed. I find it helps me to help others.
7. The first time in a long time…I don’t have this nagging feeling over me. I’m finally living my life free from my addictions. I’m really happy. Hiding this all those years took a toll on me.
What I have found out this past year…is that we all have issues that nicotine masked. These are coming out now and they will need to be addressed. Don’t let another day be wasted deciding what to do about them. Nike…really does have the best motto…Just Do It.
Thanks again for your support this past year…I look forward to us growing each and every day together.
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January 5th, 2017, 12:55 pm #77
One year quit…day 368
I thought it would feel different at 1 year. I don’t want to sound like a party pooper but I didn’t wake up like a kid on Christmas morning. Maybe it has to do with having a head cold or maybe I’m just maturing in my quit. I was hoping to have something really profound to say. Maybe something that you would read and think…holy shit…this dude is bad ass. But no…I got nothing.
I’m cruising right along in my quit. I don’t really have craves anymore. I might get a crave once every couple of weeks. It goes away really fast though. I haven’t had the funk in many months. I’m really enjoying my quit. I have been through many of the things that I did with dip…now without it. I was excepting more problems with Thanksgiving and Christmas but I had no issues. I was really happy to spend time with the family and not have to worry about getting my fix.
There are things that I’m working on to make me a better person. I wrote about these things before and I think I’m making progress. My life is at a better place. I’m much happier. I’m not living with a dread over my life. I’m finally free. I never thought I would feel this good from quitting. Early on…I wondered if I would ever get excited about an event without dip. Now I excited about the event and doing it dip free. That is really cool.
Most days I feel like helping out and other days…I wonder how long will I do this? Do I really need to post roll for the rest of my life? Do I really need to be posting in a new group and offering to help a new quitter? These thoughts keep creeping into my brain. I think that is why people leave KTC. They are finally quit. Their daily battle is over. They start to think about the future and they don’t want to post roll for the rest of their life start to creep in. I also don’t want to post roll or commit to something for the rest of my life. That is way too scary. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. What I found is that if I just post roll today all these other issues will work out. Without KTC…I might be quit…with KTC I’m quit. I’m forever grateful to those that have helped me. Without you being here each day…KTC doesn’t work.
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February 8th, 2017, 10:39 am #82
Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
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May 17th, 2017, 12:54 pm #90
500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days ago…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I haven’t regretted that decision. I’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without you…I wouldn’t be quit.
And don’t worry...I’m not going anywhere…at least for today.
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June 20th, 2017, 3:09 pm #98
I posted this in April 16 today...
I go to a concert Sunday with my wife and some friends. We got around to reminiscing about college and all the stupid stuff we did. I see my one buddy has a dip in. We used to dip all the time together but now he will try to hide it from me since I quit. So with this reminiscing and seeing him dipping really gave me the strongest crave I had in a long time. I go up to him and we start talking…he ask me if I’m still quit and I say yes… 532 days and with a big smile and tell him how happy I am to be quit. In the back of my mind though…I’m like….I WANT A DIP SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that without a doubt I would have tried to bum a dip from him in that moment if I didn’t post roll. No questions about it.
Lesson of the day…Don’t get complacent in you quit.
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August 25th, 2017, 1:30 pm #102
A view from the 6th floor…
Things have really settled down for me with quitting. I still get the occasional crave but nothing that can’t be easily dealt with. I still get those thoughts on how am I going to handle this upcoming ???. For example, I had a work trip to Chicago last week. This is the first time traveling solo and my mind was wondering how it would go being dip free. I tried not to think about it too much but you know how it goes. Trip came and went without a single craving. My mind during the trip was more of…thank god I don’t have to worry about when is this meeting over so I can dip? Life being quit is so much better and simpler than being a slave.
If you helped me along the way…thank you. I really appreciate it. You gave me hope and inspired me to keep the course. Without you, I doubt I would still be quit. To the newbies that are struggling…drink the KTC kool-aid. It really works. Just don’t forget to tip the bartender.
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September 25th, 2017, 12:10 pm #107
Posted this in April 16 today....day 631.
I’ve been craving a lot lately. I get the feeling of missing the good old days of when I dipped. The feeling of the last time you did this activity it was a lot of fun and you dipped. The changing of the seasons always gets me and so does stress. I remember having a hard time last September. I have found that I have recently come across new activities that I haven’t done yet or only once or twice dip free. You would think that after 600 plus days first time triggers would be a thing of the past. It is frustrating for sure.
On the good news front…my son started high school this year. He runs cross country and they had a state wide invitational that he competed in this past Saturday. The rest of my family…me, wife and daughter get in car and drive 2 hours to see this meet. There are thousands of runners and it takes all day for the meet. His race is the last one of the day. It is 90 degrees and very little shade. We watch him run. He does great considering the heat and it was a super hilly course. I’m driving home and that is when it hits me. I didn’t think about dip all day long. I didn’t have to worry about when can I sneak away from the family to get a dip. Where will I keep my tin so my wife doesn’t find it? When will we get home so I can dip? I just lived in the moment all day long.
Life is so much better and less stressful since being quit. Especially when your team’s rookie kicker kicks a 61-yard game winner against the Giants…
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December 4th, 2017, 12:55 pm #112
Day 701
There are times that I miss dip. I miss getting that buzz of the first dip of the day. I miss sitting down and watching the game and cracking open a fresh tin. I wish I was able to have just one. Lucky for me these don’t come all that often nor do these thoughts last that long.
When I get these thoughts, like I did yesterday, I always wonder what would happen if I stopped posting roll? Would I still be quit? Would I remember that I’m an addict? I have tried to quit multiple times in the past. What went wrong those times compared to this time? I didn’t realize I was an addict. I didn’t realize that I can never have just one. I came to this realization after my last failure. It was what finally got my mindset right about quitting this time.
My answer is that I really don’t know. I would like to think that I would still be quit if I stopped posting roll. What I do know is that I have been quit for 700 days by posting roll. It works because posting roll is my daily reminder that I’m an addict.
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February 7th, 2018, 9:21 am #121
Day 766
It’s been a couple of crazy days for me. In case you haven’t heard…the freaking EAGLES won the Super Bowl! WOW…I’m still in shock. I’m heading to the parade tomorrow with the family. I can’t wait!
I get together with my friends a couple times a year. It is so hard these days with all of us having kids and we just don’t get together as much as we like. The super bowl is one of those times. We are sitting around and talking and then out of nowhere I get this crave to smoke a cigarette. I used to smoke before dipping and a couple of my buddies still occasionally smoke. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind is telling me to reward yourself today…the Eagles are playing. You can go back to quitting tomorrow and it will help with your stress level. Yes…I really want to smoke. Then I remember my promise that I made that morning and tell myself no way. I start thinking about the dreams I have been having lately. I have been having dreams that I have dipped and still post roll like nothing it wrong. In my dream I think to myself…who would really know? No big deal. I wake up and find myself really upset that my subconscious mind would allow me to think that it would be ok to lie. I hope these thoughts go away soon because it is really messing with my brain.
Every time I think I’m on easy street with quitting I get a dose of reality. These times I’m so happy that I continue to post roll. It is my security blanket. I know without a doubt that if I stopped posting roll I would not be quit today. I would have said…one is ok and that would have started the cycle to using daily like so many times in the past.
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February 9th, 2018, 12:47 pm #122
The joy of the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl.
It is hard to explain it to a casual fan or someone that hasn’t lived through the years of not winning. Most years you have a hope. Some years there is no hope. Those special years that you think this is the year and then to see them lose it…year after year. The thoughts of next year is our year. It just sucks. These past few days all these thoughts have run through my head and now finally…we are the champions! Never again will I have to hear that we never won the Super Bowl.
I tried to explain this to my daughter. She is 12. She didn’t get it at first but now she does since I explained it to her while we waited for the parade to start. She loves Christmas and gets so excited for it to come. Weeks before she is bouncing around the house. She told me I was acting like her on Super Bowl Sunday before the game. I was. I couldn’t sit still. I had that nervous energy. So, getting back to my story. Imagine every Christmas you had no idea if Santa would come. You heard stories of Santa leaving lots of presents for kids in other cities but you have never experienced it yet. Every year you would hope that he would come. Every year you would have that nervous energy that excitement that you have leading up to Christmas day. You go to bed and wake up and pray that he came. You run down steps and turn the corner and nothing. He didn’t come, again. You would feel total disappointment. What is worse though is that you saw that he came to the kids from NYC and to Dallas or those New England kids. You hear those kids laughing at you since Santa has never been to your house. Even some of these kids have experienced Santa on Christmas more than once. You have never felt that feeling of having presents to open Christmas morning.
Imagine after 57 years of him never coming he finally comes. Image how you would feel when you turned the corner and you see all the presents under the Christmas tree for you. All those years of disappointment wiped away. Never again will you hear those chants of you never winning. You are finally Super Bowl Champs! That what it means to me and I got to celebrate it yesterday with my family. What a week this has been and one that I will never forget.
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February 22nd, 2018, 3:16 pm #125
Day 781
I had one weird cave dream last night.
I was out the night before drinking with friends. I woke up and posted roll as usual. Later that day someone told me that I took a couple of puffs from a cigarette the night before. I didn’t remember it at all. I was shocked that I did that. I wondered if I needed to count it as a cave since I didn’t remember it. I went back and forth on what I would do since I lied on roll. If I tell others then I would be banned from KTC. Even if I wasn’t banned no way I could start over on day 1 again. Should I just pretend it didn’t happen?
I have been having lots of dreams lately about caving and still posting roll like nothing happened. I usually enjoy vivid dreams but these caving ones I have been lately are really starting to mess with my psyche.
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June 21st, 2018, 10:48 am #135
Today I celebrate 900 days of freedom. How cool is that? Never would I have imagined being able to finally break free from my addiction. Being quit is one of the best things that I have every experienced in my life. For the longest time I wanted to be quit but I kept failing over and over. Probably just like many of you…My addiction started in high school. I thought I was cool and I could stop at any time. As the years (20+) went on and I got married and having kids I would try to quit. It would last a little while but then I would always break down and buy a tin. It finally hit me after my last failure that I was an addict and that I needed help. Thankfully I found KTC and they showed me the way to freedom.
This place will save your life…if you allow it. You have to buy into it 100%. You can’t half ass it. There are no excuses. You are either quit or you are not. There is no gray area. People that fail always blames others for their mistakes. People that take ownership in their life are successful. I’m not going to lie…this will be one of the hardest things you will do in your life. But if you quit one day at a time…anything is possible.
P.S....A big thank you to all the people that have helped me along the way! I wouldn't be quit without you...I'm forever grateful.
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One thousand. It has a surreal quality to it all its own in the realm of numbers. What's in 1000? In dollars it's a tidy sum and would make for a marvelous day somewhere or a nice gift to oneself or others. In M&M's it's not a small bowl and would best be savored over days and not a single sitting. In feet it would wind you for certain in a sprint or kill you for certain in a fall.
In days though...in days it's more than two years. It's 33 1/3 months. It's just shy of 143 weeks.
It's support given and received. It's witnessing countless failures but also incredible victories.
It's freedom from the chains of addiction, earned ODAAT.
Thanks for paying it forward WW.
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Congratulations on the comma club!
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Day 1002
I’m really happy. My life is really awesome. I couldn’t ask for a better wife and kids. There are many times throughout my day that I get this giddy feeling. I walked around with a smile on my face. This wasn’t always the case but something changed in my life that made it all possible. I quit.
My wife and kids used to me called the grinch. I used to ninja dip and I wanted to be by myself. I would rather be by myself instead of being with my family. I use to lose my temper when I couldn’t get my fix. I was defensive with how I was acting. I would have anxiety about wanting to quit before I got cancer. I would worry about telling my wife and kids.
It is really crazy how much time and energy I put into my addiction. How negatively it affected me and my loved ones. I’m ashamed at all the times I put up of fight to stay home to do nothing but dip instead of going out and doing something fun. Maybe that is why I’m so happy…I’m actually living my life. I’m exploring this world with my family without worrying about my next fix. It is so much better to live in the moment.
All of this wouldn’t have been possible without KTC and the hundreds of people that took the time to help me along the way. Without you showing me how to quit I wouldn’t be quit today. Thank you. I’m so happy to call you all my friends.
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Day 1002
I’m really happy. My life is really awesome. I couldn’t ask for a better wife and kids. There are many times throughout my day that I get this giddy feeling. I walked around with a smile on my face. This wasn’t always the case but something changed in my life that made it all possible. I quit.
My wife and kids used to me called the grinch. I used to ninja dip and I wanted to be by myself. I would rather be by myself instead of being with my family. I use to lose my temper when I couldn’t get my fix. I was defensive with how I was acting. I would have anxiety about wanting to quit before I got cancer. I would worry about telling my wife and kids.
It is really crazy how much time and energy I put into my addiction. How negatively it affected me and my loved ones. I’m ashamed at all the times I put up of fight to stay home to do nothing but dip instead of going out and doing something fun. Maybe that is why I’m so happy…I’m actually living my life. I’m exploring this world with my family without worrying about my next fix. It is so much better to live in the moment.
All of this wouldn’t have been possible without KTC and the hundreds of people that took the time to help me along the way. Without you showing me how to quit I wouldn’t be quit today. Thank you. I’m so happy to call you all my friends.
I thank you for this post WW. You were able to consolidate my "70 quit days of thoughts" into just a few sentences. Our stupid addiction(s) should infuriate us for ALL that it took from our lives AND our loved one's lives. Tis a new day, a day to be free and live free. Your words strengthened me and I happily quit with you today!
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Today is Day 2 of my quit. I have tried in the past to quit and I have failed them all. This time will be different because I know that what I need to do. I can never use nicotine again.
Here is a little background on me. IÂ’m 42 years old. I started smoking in high school. Quit smoking when I was 26. Starting dipping on and off for a year at 29. I have been dipping 2 cans a day for the past 10 plus years. My most recent quit was December 4, 2014. I had to quit for a life insurance test. I really wanted to quit that time and was really enjoying life being not a slave to nicotine. It lasted for 7 months. I was going away for a guyÂ’s weekend and I thought I could use that weekend and then go back to normal. In all honestyÂ…I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums like this time. I used to post daily there but after my 100 days I starting to slack.
This time I know IÂ’m an addict. I can never use nicotine. I will take this quit one day at a time. I will post roll call every day. I know that I will be tempted and that I will not fail in that temptation because I have made a promise to myself and to my new Brothers and Sisters that I will not use nicotine ever again!
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First of all, Love Walter White!
Second, I quit with you brother!
You can do this. I've dipped for 38 years and I quit with you. We can do this! Never before have I felt I can do this until I came across this website.
Also, I did the same thing regarding life insurance.LOL.
Day 5 for me as a quitter, but day 5 for me with freedom. Day 2 is a bitch, no lie, but just look at it as today not day 2. Today I will not dip. Fuck tomorrow or next day or the next. Today I quit with you.
Cantoo -5-
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Walter, I am glad to see you here to quit, but I am confused by your intro. What do you mean by "I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums"? I assume that means that you have not been in a prior quit group?
Congrats on posting in April! Posting roll is the heart and soul of KTC. It is great to see you clearly state that you know you are addicted. That was half the battle for me and the cause of so many failures before joining KTC. Rest assured that there will be voices from the nic bitch whispering in your ear agin telling you it is oK to have just one . . . That's where the tools and accountability here with your brothers at KTC can really help.
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I am the danger! Use that quote to the nic.
Of course I'm a fanatic of BB as are the rest of you.
Remember, one day at a time. Every damn day.
25 year user here and if you need me I'm here for you.
Quit on!
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I quit with you Walter.
One day at a time.
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Walter, I am glad to see you here to quit, but I am confused by your intro. What do you mean by "I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums"? I assume that means that you have not been in a prior quit group?
Congrats on posting in April! Posting roll is the heart and soul of KTC. It is great to see you clearly state that you know you are addicted. That was half the battle for me and the cause of so many failures before joining KTC. Rest assured that there will be voices from the nic bitch whispering in your ear agin telling you it is oK to have just one . . . That's where the tools and accountability here with your brothers at KTC can really help.
I was never in a prior quit group. I used this site...
http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll ... -6th-2016/ (http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll-call-for-wednesday-january-6th-2016/)
and posted mostly daily until I hit 100 days.
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Walter, I am glad to see you here to quit, but I am confused by your intro. What do you mean by "I used the roll call on KTC website but never joined the forums"? I assume that means that you have not been in a prior quit group?
Congrats on posting in April! Posting roll is the heart and soul of KTC. It is great to see you clearly state that you know you are addicted. That was half the battle for me and the cause of so many failures before joining KTC. Rest assured that there will be voices from the nic bitch whispering in your ear agin telling you it is oK to have just one . . . That's where the tools and accountability here with your brothers at KTC can really help.
I was never in a prior quit group. I used this site...
http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll ... -6th-2016/ (http://blog.killthecan.org/2016/01/roll-call-for-wednesday-january-6th-2016/)
and posted mostly daily until I hit 100 days.
OK - got it - I never knew that was even there. It sure lacks the accountability that really makes quitting work. Great that you came back and dug a little deeper into the site. Know that "mostly daily" doesn't work anymore. You have to be in this full bore. Are you this time Walter? If so, I'm quit with you ODAAT, but every freakin day. Check your PM
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Day 53...I feel shitty....but not that shitty if you know what I mean. I have come a long way since day 1. When I look back at the past 50 days I feel proud of myself. This is the first time that I have taken ownership of my quit. I have tried quitting in the past and have failed everyone of them. I always felt that I could have just one dip and go back to being quit. Nope...I am an addict and I can never have just one. I have told my wife that I was a ninja dipper...probably the best thing I have ever done. It has strengthen our marriage and made quitting real for me. I have nothing to hide. I enjoy being dip free. I enjoy not hiding from my family to get my fix. I enjoy not worrying if I have enough tins to last the weekend. I love being me!
The other day I was out for a run. I didn't have it. You runners know what I'm talking about. Every muscle burns and you feel you can't keep going. Every house you are saying...just one more house and I will stop but you keep on going and enduring the suck. The week before I had the best run in awhile. It felt like I was unstoppable and I could just run and run. I remember thinking...the suck....that is what quitting is about too. If every time I went for a run and it sucked I would probably never run again. But I continue to run because of those days that I feel unstoppable. You get this joy and sense of accomplishment that I am the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop me. We must endure the suck...to get stronger. If we didn't have the suck...we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Most days running(quitting) is no big deal...some days it really sucks...and other days it's just plain easy and it just fucking rocks.
To my future self...when the days are shitty like today...don't give up...because look how far you have come and look how many BAQ's are here supporting you. You never want a day 1 again. Remember that feeling of caving last year after 7 months of freedom. Remember those 6 months of feeling like a shithead for using until you took back control of your life and posted Day 1 - January 4, 2016.
P.S. Exercise really helps with THE SUCK.
ODAAT
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Day 53...I feel shitty....but not that shitty if you know what I mean. I have come a long way since day 1. When I look back at the past 50 days I feel proud of myself. This is the first time that I have taken ownership of my quit. I have tried quitting in the past and have failed everyone of them. I always felt that I could have just one dip and go back to being quit. Nope...I am an addict and I can never have just one. I have told my wife that I was a ninja dipper...probably the best thing I have ever done. It has strengthen our marriage and made quitting real for me. I have nothing to hide. I enjoy being dip free. I enjoy not hiding from my family to get my fix. I enjoy not worrying if I have enough tins to last the weekend. I love being me!
The other day I was out for a run. I didn't have it. You runners know what I'm talking about. Every muscle burns and you feel you can't keep going. Every house you are saying...just one more house and I will stop but you keep on going and enduring the suck. The week before I had the best run in awhile. It felt like I was unstoppable and I could just run and run. I remember thinking...the suck....that is what quitting is about too. If every time I went for a run and it sucked I would probably never run again. But I continue to run because of those days that I feel unstoppable. You get this joy and sense of accomplishment that I am the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop me. We must endure the suck...to get stronger. If we didn't have the suck...we wouldn't appreciate the good days. Most days running(quitting) is no big deal...some days it really sucks...and other days it's just plain easy and it just fucking rocks.
To my future self...when the days are shitty like today...don't give up...because look how far you have come and look how many BAQ's are here supporting you. You never want a day 1 again. Remember that feeling of caving last year after 7 months of freedom. Remember those 6 months of feeling like a shithead for using until you took back control of your life and posted Day 1 - January 4, 2016.
P.S. Exercise really helps with THE SUCK.
ODAAT
You are the biggest, baddest mother f'er out there and nothing is going to stop you.
BAQ Walt!
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Day 65Â…I feel like shitÂ…I canÂ’t tell if IÂ’m getting sick, the funk coming back or a combo of the two. It seems like I only post when I feel like I do today. I find it helps so IÂ’m back.
For the most part, IÂ’m really enjoying my quit. Most days are easy and not too bad. Today sucks but I donÂ’t have any crazy craves. I had some this past weekend. I cleaned out the basement and I would always have a dip in. Not this past weekendÂ….nopeÂ…IÂ’m quit. IÂ’m proud of that win. The more I win the easier it gets to win those battles. I know I will continue to have these battles but I have the tools and desire to win. There is no room for failure in my quit.
Some things I have read that I would like to shareÂ…
Give me this drama all day long. This is healing. This is real. This is honest. This is the rocky road to freedom.
This is not locker room, frat bullshit, this is what is supposed to be here. Many of us never lived as adults with out nicotine in our system. So everything here is not "relearning" but learning how to be functional adults. *if rky and waste are our bench marks we have a long way to go.
So, keep it up, own it!
This is so true. I have lived longer with nicotine controlling my life then without. How fucked up is that? So for everything I do and maybe for the rest of my life, I will be training my body and mind without nicotine.
I also had my first dip dream last night. I dreamed that I cave and I was OK with that. I wasnÂ’t angry at myself and I started to write my answers to the 3 questions. How fucked up is this addiction? FU nicÂ…not today. I QLF today.
Some things IÂ’m happy about and have greatly improved since day 1Â…
1. When I driveÂ…I donÂ’t crave
2. After I eatÂ…I donÂ’t crave
Some things that IÂ’m still ashamed aboutÂ…I was a ninja dipper
1. Wife is going away all day this SaturdayÂ…first thoughtÂ…oh goodyÂ…I can dip all day.
2. SonÂ’s asks me to throw the baseball aroundÂ…first thoughtÂ…I can grab a dip.
Hoping with time these ashamed moments go away. But they are constant reminder on why this is an addiction and not a habit.
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Thank you for an excellent read. I quit stronger because there are people like you that "get it".
Mogul
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Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.
These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.
So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?
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Thanks for the update dude. Guys like you add strength to my quit. Day 6, head is pounding, but giving in is not an option. I'm quit. It is that simple. I can grab some gum (not nicotine), throw in some seeds, go for a run, naw on my damn lip, but throwing in a dip? No sir. That is not an option. And I couldn't be more excited to have found this site and begun developing that mindset.
Proud to quit with you today, brother. Praying for your quit specifically today.
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Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.
These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.
So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?
I know what you mean. The nic bitch is telling you this whole quit thing was too easy and you can quit again if you caved. But I have to remind myself why I quit. Heck yeah I enjoyed dipping but man have I ever enjoyed not dipping. The raw lip, the nasty breath, the mind telling you that sore in your mouth is probably not cancer....or is it, walking away from family to take a dip by myself. My mouth feels great, I think my breath is better, not worrying about mouth sores, and hanging with the wife and kids when I normally wouldn't. But the ultimate was convincing my 17 year old son to quit dipping. He may still do it but he doesn't do it around me or the family. And I haven't seen any signs he is doing it and I think I would know. Anyway, glad people like you are here and I quit with today.
Cantoo - 84
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Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.
These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.
So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?
The quit roller-coaster my friend. Enjoy the struggle: it means you are winning :) Keep +1ing until the suck and craves are gone, and hate that nasty poison people.
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Day 80...the ebbs and flow of quitting are exhausting. The other day...I'm feeling like shit but then today rolls around and I feel on top of the world. The seasonal / event triggers are real. Last Thursday was Day 1 of March Madness. The whole day that nic bitch never left me alone. The next day...no problems. I find I have to go through the event once to correct the thought process. Almost like I did this once already and survived...so no big deal.
These craves that I have are real though. Just today I thought...yippie...three day weekend...time to relax and dip all holiday weekend. That is so crazy because I love being quit. I'm at peace with being quit. I quit today.
So for all you quitters or potential quitter...you need to be 100% committed to this quit. It is a mindset. It is a lifestyle. When a temptation comes along...All you have to think or say is "I'm Quit". There is need to put any thought or logic on why you should have just one because you are quit. Simple right?
The quit roller-coaster my friend. Enjoy the struggle: it means you are winning :) Keep +1ing until the suck and craves are gone, and hate that nasty poison people.
Keep logging your experiences- it helps others! and, it'll be great to look back and see how far you've come, for a long time!
Like you're experiencing, the bitch's claws were apparently deep in me too- I had a lot of symptoms for a long time. I still get a stupid flash of a crave or "what if" thought once in a while, at nearly 900 days. One way to see it is that it keeps you on your toes... much better than being complacent!
CBird was like a quit sherpa to me, guiding me along the path. One important thing he told me- 100 days means that you should have the quit tools gathered up and know how to use them. You still have to work at your quit though. I found that to be so true- and the tools keep saving me.
Glad you are here, doing this your way- because it helps others!
Keep hanging in there, it's pretty normal to have some temptations around this time, and right around HOF time. Just smack them down, get help, or do whatever it takes for whatever happens.
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Day 95..
posted in April 2016...
This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.
It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.
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Day 95..
posted in April 2016...
This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.
It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.
that is cool WW. I was a ninja too, only about 5 people knew i dipped. So after I quit, many more know now, i've come clean with some just to try to get them to quit mainly, but it does feel good come out of hiding.
-
Day 95..
posted in April 2016...
This weekend my wife and daughter are heading out of town. That leaves me and my son at home. I was a ninja dipper and in the past this weekend would have been golden. I would have sat around and dipped all weekend with nothing to hide. I would have killed my quit in the past. For what? Did that make my life better and happier? No. Did I enjoy making sure that I hid all the evidence before she come home? No. Did I enjoy feeling like shit on Monday and knowing that I better buy tin? No. Did I really think that I could just do it that weekend and stop? I wished that was the case but now I know that IÂ’m an addict and that line is total BS. I woke up this morning with no fear of losing this battle. I know that the Nic Bitch will be calling but I will be ready. I will hear her but I will not listen. For the first time in my life, I have the tools and desire to win. I am quit today.
It wasn't bad at all...I had some craves but nothing major. I had the attitude that "I'm Quit"...why would I use that nasty shit? I also had "The Talk" with my 13 year son that weekend...one thing I will say about that talk is that I hope I pounded into his head about the evil of nicotine. I even told him that I was a ninja dipper. Which he had no idea. It feels good having nothing to hide.
that is cool WW. I was a ninja too, only about 5 people knew i dipped. So after I quit, many more know now, i've come clean with some just to try to get them to quit mainly, but it does feel good come out of hiding.
Good post. I was a shitbird ninja dipper as well. The single greatest part about being quit, is it allows me to be honest, truly honest, with everyone I love.
If it helps, my wife left for an overnight business trip today and dipping didn't enter my mind....so dealing with an empty house will get easier for you as well.
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Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
-
Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
Congrats on HOF WW!
And with over 1400 post.
That's a strong foundation of quit.
Rock on Brother!
Rawls 512
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Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
Congrats on HOF WW!
And with over 1400 post.
That's a strong foundation of quit.
Rock on Brother!
Rawls 512
Every day sir.
Every day.
You rock.
-
Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
Congrats on HOF WW!
And with over 1400 post.
That's a strong foundation of quit.
Rock on Brother!
Rawls 512
Every day sir.
Every day.
You rock.
Congrats on HOF! Our paths have yet to cross but U see your posts all over these boards. Your a BAQ sir!
-
I posted this in April 2016 but thought I would like to add this as my 100 day post...
I went over 150 days on my last stoppage. Today is day 100 and it feels so much different this time. The last time I wanted to be done with dipping. I hated feeding that addiction daily. Once I was free and at over 100 days I was loving life. But I didnÂ’t realize that I was an addict. So once the opportunity came to buy a can to celebrate my freedom, I did it. It was awesome and I had no regrets. I thoughtÂ…I can just buy one can for the weekend and then I can go back to my freedom. I did that but a week later I bought a new can because my addict brain said that it worked out well last time. After that I was hooked. Back to my 2 tin a day addiction. I remember thinkingÂ… Fuck Me, IÂ’m hooked again. I was such a wimp that it took me 7 months later to finally QUIT. Even the day I quitÂ…I had my doubts and almost bought a tin. Lucky for me I got to work and posted day 1 on KTC.
What I have learned this timeÂ…
1.I’m an Addict – I can never have just one.
2.ODAAT – one day at a time – I no longer need to worry about anything except today. Just get through today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow.
3.Make quitting a priority in your life. No excuses. Just do it.
4.QUIT – I’m quit – It is an attitude…it is a way a life. I no longer have to worry what will happen when the nic bitch comes calling. I tell her I’m QUIT and that is it.
5.Brotherhood – I have a group of new friends that are going through the same struggles of being Quit that I am. I can call any one of them and they will have my back.
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Nice HOF post. I couldn't "like" it, so I'll post here.
The addict thing, I think that's paramount. At least it is for me. When you realize you are addicted, that you are an addict, like those with heroin, it really hits home. You realize it's time to quit. You realize that you can't just stop, you have to find a way to quit. Fortunately, KTC has a proven method.
I quit with you today WW.
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Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
Congrats on HOF WW!
And with over 1400 post.
That's a strong foundation of quit.
Rock on Brother!
Rawls 512
Every day sir.
Every day.
You rock.
Congrats on HOF! Our paths have yet to cross but U see your posts all over these boards. Your a BAQ sir!
Wwhite...congrats on your 100 days and beyond, strong quit, fortunate to have you here walking this walk with myself and all!!
-
Congrats WW on what I know is the first of many levels. You are a big reason I am quit and are a positive influence on so many here. You're a hell of a man and a bad ass quitter. Proud to be a Smart Ass-tro w/ you and as always will be right here one day back at the ready - if ever you need anything (except for me rooting for the damn Eagles...)!
Cheers,
Congrats on HOF WW!
And with over 1400 post.
That's a strong foundation of quit.
Rock on Brother!
Rawls 512
Every day sir.
Every day.
You rock.
Congrats on HOF! Our paths have yet to cross but U see your posts all over these boards. Your a BAQ sir!
Wwhite...congrats on your 100 days and beyond, strong quit, fortunate to have you here walking this walk with myself and all!!
Congrats Walter! Keep at ODAAT - you have become a badass quitter.
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Day 113. Pretty easy stretch of days. I'm liking it.
This past weekend was really busy and I thought about dip a lot. I would think while drivingÂ…I used to dip while driving. Also when I was doing yard work, after yard work, having a couple of beers and etcÂ…Dip was constantly on my mind. I would thinkÂ…go get a tin. It was nice to be able to think it and easily sayÂ…NoÂ….IÂ’m quit. I have no desire to be a slave to the can ever again. I really enjoy my freedom. I know IÂ’m not cured. I know by coming here each day to make my promise it just reinforces my quit. If I didnÂ’t, I would forget the struggle of the first 100 days. I would forget that IÂ’m an addict. That one never works out in the end.
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Day 127...
This past Saturday just plan sucked. It felt like I was back at square one again. The nic bitch was calling my name all day long. It was whisperingÂ…just go buy a tin. I felt in control of the situation but it wasnÂ’t very enjoyable. I was glad I made my promise early in the day. It was one of the tools that I used to overcome the whispering. Last night I had the most intense dip dream. I had caved and I thoughtÂ…how do I hide this from the group? I was so disappointed in myself. Even after I woke upÂ…I still felt like it was real. Today I feel this sense of disappointment in myself. Very weird. I havenÂ’t felt right in a couple of days. Before this episodeÂ…I was cruising along and enjoying life.
Today I came across Wildirish317 signature and he had a link that I found usefulÂ…
Please read itÂ…
Two Stages of Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)
That got me thinkingÂ…how can someone just stop posting roll after HOF? Maybe they think they got this addiction under control? Maybe they donÂ’t realize they are addicted anymore. We have lost 15 quitters since HOF. Think back to before you quit. How much did you want to quit? Where you willing to do everything in your power to quit? How much did you hate yourself for being a slave to the can? My question isÂ…what has changed from day 1 that you think that you donÂ’t need KTC? Have you been cured? I havenÂ’t and this weekend was another wakeup call to double down and make sure IÂ’m doing everything in my power to quit. IÂ’m not going back to being a slave to the can because it just fucking sucks.
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Day 127...
This past Saturday just plan sucked. It felt like I was back at square one again. The nic bitch was calling my name all day long. It was whisperingÂ…just go buy a tin. I felt in control of the situation but it wasnÂ’t very enjoyable. I was glad I made my promise early in the day. It was one of the tools that I used to overcome the whispering. Last night I had the most intense dip dream. I had caved and I thoughtÂ…how do I hide this from the group? I was so disappointed in myself. Even after I woke upÂ…I still felt like it was real. Today I feel this sense of disappointment in myself. Very weird. I havenÂ’t felt right in a couple of days. Before this episodeÂ…I was cruising along and enjoying life.
Today I came across Wildirish317 signature and he had a link that I found usefulÂ…
Please read itÂ…
Two Stages of Withdrawal (http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org/post-acute-withdrawal.htm)
That got me thinkingÂ…how can someone just stop posting roll after HOF? Maybe they think they got this addiction under control? Maybe they donÂ’t realize they are addicted anymore. We have lost 15 quitters since HOF. Think back to before you quit. How much did you want to quit? Where you willing to do everything in your power to quit? How much did you hate yourself for being a slave to the can? My question isÂ…what has changed from day 1 that you think that you donÂ’t need KTC? Have you been cured? I havenÂ’t and this weekend was another wakeup call to double down and make sure IÂ’m doing everything in my power to quit. IÂ’m not going back to being a slave to the can because it just fucking sucks.
Bro you had a nice victory last weekend. Look at it as a positive. She tried a different approach and you didn't give in!
I'm at 270 days or thereabouts now, and i still think for me the hardest days were 100-150.
Just as you said, The posting up to 100 is great. HOF congrats all around then the lull. I considered leaving. I can tell you if I left KTC at that time I would be back on the nic right now for sure.
The Nic bitch is crafty. She knows that the physical addiction is done. And is trying different schemes on the mental side of the house.
SO funny about the dip dream. I felt exactly the same on mine. WE have policeman, fireman, weightlifters, jacked up dudes in our group and all i could think of is i have to face them...
Then it hit that it was a dream.
Small victories my man. You are involved member of this site. When I feel sort of lost... like that. I try and find a newbie, or two. And mentor them.
As I always say, me helping a newbie builds the walls of my own quit higher and higher, keeping the leaping Nic bitch just out of reach
You're doing great. Keep it up. I snapped out of it around 150
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Great stuff here Heisenberg. Keep pressing forward! :)
This place is sort of like that movie The Matrix - everything that is happening now has happened before in all of the earlier quit groups. The good news is that we can cheat and read ahead. Normally I don't like spoilers but here they are great. We can all get a sense of what life will be like at day 10, 50, 80, 120, 200, 400, etc...
I learn a lot just by posting in some of the older groups. Ask some folks from 2014 or earlier why they are still posting roll every day. It is simple enough - they still post here because it keeps them quit. We can't forget about our addiction, or ever pretend that it isn't a problem anymore. We need to actively battle it.
You're doing great. I quit with you today!
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A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
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A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
Good medicine White...
It is a battle, but a hill worth dieing on.
Vacation is good.
Everybody needs time to sharpen the axe.
Keep posting, keep sharing, keep winning.
It gets better.
Rawls 549
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A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
Good medicine White...
It is a battle, but a hill worth dieing on.
Vacation is good.
Everybody needs time to sharpen the axe.
Keep posting, keep sharing, keep winning.
It gets better.
Rawls 549
I don't put too much stock in the funk time line that's been laid out. I think it sets up a fear of sorts and you can work yourself up to it. Not to say we don't get 'em! I sure dealt with a few!
But... that post HOF one is freaky and right on the money for most. It's pretty damn weird! I thought a lot about it at the time and really... it's a bit of a let down that hits you. You just spent an enormous amount of energy reaching that 100 day milestone that we pump and pump and pump. I mean... everything you had. I think it was right around 130 where I hit that wall you're at.
Now what!?!
I think we get a glimpse of the long haul and, despite knowing better, we get all reminiscent for that shit.
How f'd up is that!?!
Anyway... power on brother. You know what to do. I'm at 1,129 today and can tell you... that shit pretty much goes away. You're about to hit some awesome stretches and, man, it'll be great. So great.
Keep rockin'...
-
A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
Good medicine White...
It is a battle, but a hill worth dieing on.
Vacation is good.
Everybody needs time to sharpen the axe.
Keep posting, keep sharing, keep winning.
It gets better.
Rawls 549
I don't put too much stock in the funk time line that's been laid out. I think it sets up a fear of sorts and you can work yourself up to it. Not to say we don't get 'em! I sure dealt with a few!
But... that post HOF one is freaky and right on the money for most. It's pretty damn weird! I thought a lot about it at the time and really... it's a bit of a let down that hits you. You just spent an enormous amount of energy reaching that 100 day milestone that we pump and pump and pump. I mean... everything you had. I think it was right around 130 where I hit that wall you're at.
Now what!?!
I think we get a glimpse of the long haul and, despite knowing better, we get all reminiscent for that shit.
How f'd up is that!?!
Anyway... power on brother. You know what to do. I'm at 1,129 today and can tell you... that shit pretty much goes away. You're about to hit some awesome stretches and, man, it'll be great. So great.
Keep rockin'...
WW you're a keeper! Just love every damn second you're quit! You speak the truth which very few others will. I can honestly say after 500 days I'm having a string of 2 or 3 days I don't even think about dip or have a crave and by God it's the best feeling in the world! Quit on you badass! Keep telling it like it is because very few have the balls to do it!
-
A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
Good medicine White...
It is a battle, but a hill worth dieing on.
Vacation is good.
Everybody needs time to sharpen the axe.
Keep posting, keep sharing, keep winning.
It gets better.
Rawls 549
I don't put too much stock in the funk time line that's been laid out. I think it sets up a fear of sorts and you can work yourself up to it. Not to say we don't get 'em! I sure dealt with a few!
But... that post HOF one is freaky and right on the money for most. It's pretty damn weird! I thought a lot about it at the time and really... it's a bit of a let down that hits you. You just spent an enormous amount of energy reaching that 100 day milestone that we pump and pump and pump. I mean... everything you had. I think it was right around 130 where I hit that wall you're at.
Now what!?!
I think we get a glimpse of the long haul and, despite knowing better, we get all reminiscent for that shit.
How f'd up is that!?!
Anyway... power on brother. You know what to do. I'm at 1,129 today and can tell you... that shit pretty much goes away. You're about to hit some awesome stretches and, man, it'll be great. So great.
Keep rockin'...
WW you're a keeper! Just love every damn second you're quit! You speak the truth which very few others will. I can honestly say after 500 days I'm having a string of 2 or 3 days I don't even think about dip or have a crave and by God it's the best feeling in the world! Quit on you badass! Keep telling it like it is because very few have the balls to do it!
Funks Suck
Quit Doesn't.
You are full of wisdom even in your funk times.
Love to come read you.
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A post from yesterday (day 135) and one from today from my April group...this post HOF phase is tough.
IÂ’m reaching my breaking point with quitting. IÂ’m thinking more and more of throwing in the towel and saying fuck it. IÂ’ve been dealing with tension in my jaw since I quit. Some days it is ok and other days it just plain sucks. I find myself romancing the dip again and not hating it. Some days I find myself longing for what I think are happier times when I used to dip. I know this feeling will past but when? 90% of my days are awesome and I really love being quit. It is that 10% that just doesnÂ’t want to go away. I donÂ’t have major craves but more of a longingÂ…a sadness. My brain is telling me that those times when I dipped where awesome and you will not have that much fun again. IÂ’m writing this out to show and tell myself that this longing and sadness is all BS. It will get better. It is another one of Nic Bitches attempts at controlling me. It just plain sucks though.
I’m not going anywhere. When I left work yesterday to drive home…I thought about dip and what would happen if I bought a tin. In the past…after an extended break…and I would get the fuck its and my thoughts turned to buying a tin. I would get this rush…this high…like a drug and couldn’t wait to get to the store and buy one. Yesterday…nothing…no high or rush. Just utter disappointment if I bought one. I also thought about the promise that I made on roll. No way could I let you guys down. My word means something to me. My thoughts then turned to maybe tomorrow? But that didn’t go very far either…because…we quit today and worry about tomorrow…tomorrow. So then I thought…why this funk? What is happening or not happening that I’m dealing with this shit since day 120 or so. I think I need a vacation from quitting and work. I can’t vacation from quitting though so I’ll just take some time off from work. I haven’t had a day off from work, other than company holidays, since December. That is way too long…I need “ME” time. I have some vacation days coming up next week. I can’t wait. Let's QLF today.
Good medicine White...
It is a battle, but a hill worth dieing on.
Vacation is good.
Everybody needs time to sharpen the axe.
Keep posting, keep sharing, keep winning.
It gets better.
Rawls 549
I don't put too much stock in the funk time line that's been laid out. I think it sets up a fear of sorts and you can work yourself up to it. Not to say we don't get 'em! I sure dealt with a few!
But... that post HOF one is freaky and right on the money for most. It's pretty damn weird! I thought a lot about it at the time and really... it's a bit of a let down that hits you. You just spent an enormous amount of energy reaching that 100 day milestone that we pump and pump and pump. I mean... everything you had. I think it was right around 130 where I hit that wall you're at.
Now what!?!
I think we get a glimpse of the long haul and, despite knowing better, we get all reminiscent for that shit.
How f'd up is that!?!
Anyway... power on brother. You know what to do. I'm at 1,129 today and can tell you... that shit pretty much goes away. You're about to hit some awesome stretches and, man, it'll be great. So great.
Keep rockin'...
WW you're a keeper! Just love every damn second you're quit! You speak the truth which very few others will. I can honestly say after 500 days I'm having a string of 2 or 3 days I don't even think about dip or have a crave and by God it's the best feeling in the world! Quit on you badass! Keep telling it like it is because very few have the balls to do it!
Funks Suck
Quit Doesn't.
You are full of wisdom even in your funk times.
Love to come read you.
Issues and life come and go, and a dip won't fix that. I wasn't NAFAR until 140-150 myself - it just clicked one day that I will never use nicotine again, in any form. But I used to think of everyone I'd let down, from my July group, to the other groups that I posted with, to my family and co-workers, and most importantly myself.
My move was to send out silly text at those times, usually to 5 quitters, just to get a reply. Before I knew it, they were discussing what "heavy meat quit" means, and what I was sending it to them for - it always got me laughing and the crave moved on.
I can text you a LBBQ if you want, heavy metal from Wales rules!
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Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day longÂ…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldnÂ’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
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Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day longÂ…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldnÂ’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
We can not truely enjoy the highs with out the lows. The lows suck big floppy donkey dick, but it makes those awesome moments 1000x's better.
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Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day longÂ…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldnÂ’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
We can not truely enjoy the highs with out the lows. The lows suck big floppy donkey dick, but it makes those awesome moments 1000x's better.
Walter - this is a fantastic post and an example of how quitting can change the way you live your life with freedom and integrity. I regularly experience moments like your memorial day myself. And I sometimes catch myself regretting the moments lost instead of celebrating the freedom of today and the promise of tomorrow. Thanks for sharing this.
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Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day longÂ…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldnÂ’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
We can not truely enjoy the highs with out the lows. The lows suck big floppy donkey dick, but it makes those awesome moments 1000x's better.
Walter - this is a fantastic post and an example of how quitting can change the way you live your life with freedom and integrity. I regularly experience moments like your memorial day myself. And I sometimes catch myself regretting the moments lost instead of celebrating the freedom of today and the promise of tomorrow. Thanks for sharing this.
A fucking Men!
Victories are great Walt. They get sweeter as time goes on. Keep this bad ass quit of yours up. Your dedication to KTC quitters is certainly appreciated.
Smells like a nice weekend of victories brah!
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Day 149 post...I'm feeling really great lately.
I wanted to share some wins from this past weekend.
I took last Thursday and Friday off to get some yard work done. It was the 1st time putting mulch down without dip. I thought of it a couple of times but just went back to work and forgot about it. Felt great to not have the raw gums from dipping all day longÂ…just the sore muscles though. Getting older really sucks.
My in-laws have a beach house in NJ. We go down about 5 times during the summer for long weekends. Memorial Day is opening weekend. I was a ninja dipper. In the past I would have to plan to make sure I had enough tins to last the weekend. I would have to sneak off to get my fix. When relaxing on the beach with the family I would get ancy to get back to the house so I could get my fix. Going out with the family at night was a no go so I could get my fix. Family time I hated because I couldnÂ’t get my fix. This past weekend was perfect. We went on bike rides, out for ice cream and spent the whole day on the beach without the need to get my fix. I am so much more relaxed and enjoying life. I love being NOT a slave to the tin anymore.
We can not truely enjoy the highs with out the lows. The lows suck big floppy donkey dick, but it makes those awesome moments 1000x's better.
Walter - this is a fantastic post and an example of how quitting can change the way you live your life with freedom and integrity. I regularly experience moments like your memorial day myself. And I sometimes catch myself regretting the moments lost instead of celebrating the freedom of today and the promise of tomorrow. Thanks for sharing this.
A fucking Men!
Victories are great Walt. They get sweeter as time goes on. Keep this bad ass quit of yours up. Your dedication to KTC quitters is certainly appreciated.
Smells like a nice weekend of victories brah!
Keep these victories tight to your chest as you move forward WW. Coming back to read these victories are good medicine for the funks. The fuck-its are real, but like you said, just make sure you get your name on roll in the mornings. With that step out of the way, you know you won't be able to bring yourself to that c-store wall of death. ODAAT is just as important now as it was in the first two weeks, but just for a different reason. It evolves. Embrace the evolution and you will continue to grow your quit.
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Day 157
IÂ’m a major sports fan. I love watching it on TV. IÂ’m from Philly so when any of the local teams are playing, IÂ’m watching or following. I love watching March Madness, Golf Majors and Soccer too. So last night I get home from work and IÂ’m thinkingÂ…this is perfectÂ…MenÂ’s national soccer team is playing tonight. I get this happy feeling come over me. I also get a crave from my old friend. It was a weird crave this time. In the past I would get this major crave that wouldnÂ’t go away. Last night it was more a whisper. She was sayingÂ…remember me? I used to be by your side during these fun timesÂ…just me and you on the sofa. It wonÂ’t be the same without me. To get past these momentsÂ…I go back to the minute to minute thing that I did in the beginning of my quit. I had 3 hours till game time so I just keep myself busy and tried not to think about it anymore. By the time the game started, I really didnÂ’t even think about again. ODAAT really works. Live in the moment. DonÂ’t worry about the futureÂ…even if you are only talking a few hours. Thinking too far ahead has killed too many of my quits in the past. When I say live in the momentÂ…you also have to be prepared for the future though. Just donÂ’t dwell on it. Have a plan in place for those times that you think it might be too much.
On a side noteÂ…this is the longest I have been quit in 20 years. No way IÂ’m going back and starting over. IÂ’m doing everything to protect this Quit.
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Day 157
IÂ’m a major sports fan. I love watching it on TV. IÂ’m from Philly so when any of the local teams are playing, IÂ’m watching or following. I love watching March Madness, Golf Majors and Soccer too. So last night I get home from work and IÂ’m thinkingÂ…this is perfectÂ…MenÂ’s national soccer team is playing tonight. I get this happy feeling come over me. I also get a crave from my old friend. It was a weird crave this time. In the past I would get this major crave that wouldnÂ’t go away. Last night it was more a whisper. She was sayingÂ…remember me? I used to be by your side during these fun timesÂ…just me and you on the sofa. It wonÂ’t be the same without me. To get past these momentsÂ…I go back to the minute to minute thing that I did in the beginning of my quit. I had 3 hours till game time so I just keep myself busy and tried not to think about it anymore. By the time the game started, I really didnÂ’t even think about again. ODAAT really works. Live in the moment. DonÂ’t worry about the futureÂ…even if you are only talking a few hours. Thinking too far ahead has killed too many of my quits in the past. When I say live in the momentÂ…you also have to be prepared for the future though. Just donÂ’t dwell on it. Have a plan in place for those times that you think it might be too much.
On a side noteÂ…this is the longest I have been quit in 20 years. No way IÂ’m going back and starting over. IÂ’m doing everything to protect this Quit.
Congrats Walter - on the win AND the side note that you are nicotine free longer than ever before. F your old "friend" though - it was the nic bitch and she was there to try and suck you in with lies. Good riddance.
I quit with you today! CJ
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Day 157
IÂ’m a major sports fan. I love watching it on TV. IÂ’m from Philly so when any of the local teams are playing, IÂ’m watching or following. I love watching March Madness, Golf Majors and Soccer too. So last night I get home from work and IÂ’m thinkingÂ…this is perfectÂ…MenÂ’s national soccer team is playing tonight. I get this happy feeling come over me. I also get a crave from my old friend. It was a weird crave this time. In the past I would get this major crave that wouldnÂ’t go away. Last night it was more a whisper. She was sayingÂ…remember me? I used to be by your side during these fun timesÂ…just me and you on the sofa. It wonÂ’t be the same without me. To get past these momentsÂ…I go back to the minute to minute thing that I did in the beginning of my quit. I had 3 hours till game time so I just keep myself busy and tried not to think about it anymore. By the time the game started, I really didnÂ’t even think about again. ODAAT really works. Live in the moment. DonÂ’t worry about the futureÂ…even if you are only talking a few hours. Thinking too far ahead has killed too many of my quits in the past. When I say live in the momentÂ…you also have to be prepared for the future though. Just donÂ’t dwell on it. Have a plan in place for those times that you think it might be too much.
On a side noteÂ…this is the longest I have been quit in 20 years. No way IÂ’m going back and starting over. IÂ’m doing everything to protect this Quit.
Congrats Walter - on the win AND the side note that you are nicotine free longer than ever before. F your old "friend" though - it was the nic bitch and she was there to try and suck you in with lies. Good riddance.
I quit with you today! CJ
Great Win WW! Thanks for your dedication to this site! See you on roll tomorrow!
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Day 157
IÂ’m a major sports fan. I love watching it on TV. IÂ’m from Philly so when any of the local teams are playing, IÂ’m watching or following. I love watching March Madness, Golf Majors and Soccer too. So last night I get home from work and IÂ’m thinkingÂ…this is perfectÂ…MenÂ’s national soccer team is playing tonight. I get this happy feeling come over me. I also get a crave from my old friend. It was a weird crave this time. In the past I would get this major crave that wouldnÂ’t go away. Last night it was more a whisper. She was sayingÂ…remember me? I used to be by your side during these fun timesÂ…just me and you on the sofa. It wonÂ’t be the same without me. To get past these momentsÂ…I go back to the minute to minute thing that I did in the beginning of my quit. I had 3 hours till game time so I just keep myself busy and tried not to think about it anymore. By the time the game started, I really didnÂ’t even think about again. ODAAT really works. Live in the moment. DonÂ’t worry about the futureÂ…even if you are only talking a few hours. Thinking too far ahead has killed too many of my quits in the past. When I say live in the momentÂ…you also have to be prepared for the future though. Just donÂ’t dwell on it. Have a plan in place for those times that you think it might be too much.
On a side noteÂ…this is the longest I have been quit in 20 years. No way IÂ’m going back and starting over. IÂ’m doing everything to protect this Quit.
Congrats Walter - on the win AND the side note that you are nicotine free longer than ever before. F your old "friend" though - it was the nic bitch and she was there to try and suck you in with lies. Good riddance.
I quit with you today! CJ
Great Win WW! Thanks for your dedication to this site! See you on roll tomorrow!
I have had many of those moments myself WW. As you said, they tend to pass much more easily now, but even 300+ that feeling still sneaks up on me every once in awhile when I'm fired up for something. Then I remember why I'm doing this.
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Day 192...Posted in my April group.
Anybody else watch the baseball ASG last night? They will be calling the NL batting champ award the Tony Gwynn award. Sadly he died from cancer caused from dipping in 2014. His family was on hand but I keep thinkingÂ…that totally sucks for his family. How sad. DonÂ’t you think they wish Tony was there himself accepting that honor? I sure do. One of the positivesÂ…His death caused a bunch of people to quit and it just reinforced my quit last night. Never in my lifetime would I expect to get an honor like that but just in case I doÂ…I want to be around to witness it. Maybe one of my children will get an award like thatÂ…Who knows but I want to be there in the flesh if they do.
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Day 247
Labor Day WeekendÂ…the end of summerÂ…the beginning of fallÂ…football season. Too many triggers for me this past couple of days. I really struggled this weekend. The craving never really went away for me. I was sitting on my patio last night thinking about itÂ…and what I realized is really scary.
Before finding KTCÂ…I would have bought a tin this past weekend. There is no doubt in my mind.
Before KTCÂ…I never realized that I was an addict. I would have bought a tin thinking one is ok. I would have thoughtÂ…just this weekend. I would have thoughtÂ…come TuesdayÂ…I would just go back to quit. That is what I did in the past and it is why I never quit.
After finding KTCÂ…this is what I knowÂ…
• I’m an addict
• One is never enough
• I’m quit
I have a different mindset. There is no justification for it. IÂ’m done and so happy about it. Do I miss it sometimes? Yes. Do I hate nicotine and everything that went with it? Yes. Can I foresee myself going back to the tin? No fucking way. Why do you ask? I love being quit and make quitting a priority each day. Posting roll isnÂ’t a chore for me. Posting roll is a way to make quitting a priority each day. I have worked way too hard for my freedom and IÂ’m not about to piss it away.
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Day 247
Labor Day WeekendÂ…the end of summerÂ…the beginning of fallÂ…football season. Too many triggers for me this past couple of days. I really struggled this weekend. The craving never really went away for me. I was sitting on my patio last night thinking about itÂ…and what I realized is really scary.
Before finding KTCÂ…I would have bought a tin this past weekend. There is no doubt in my mind.
Before KTCÂ…I never realized that I was an addict. I would have bought a tin thinking one is ok. I would have thoughtÂ…just this weekend. I would have thoughtÂ…come TuesdayÂ…I would just go back to quit. That is what I did in the past and it is why I never quit.
After finding KTCÂ…this is what I knowÂ…
•I’m an addict
•One is never enough
•I’m quit
I have a different mindset. There is no justification for it. IÂ’m done and so happy about it. Do I miss it sometimes? Yes. Do I hate nicotine and everything that went with it? Yes. Can I foresee myself going back to the tin? No fucking way. Why do you ask? I love being quit and make quitting a priority each day. Posting roll isnÂ’t a chore for me. Posting roll is a way to make quitting a priority each day. I have worked way too hard for my freedom and IÂ’m not about to piss it away.
Keep killing it in here WW! Don't ever give her an inch!
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Day 247
Labor Day WeekendÂ…the end of summerÂ…the beginning of fallÂ…football season. Too many triggers for me this past couple of days. I really struggled this weekend. The craving never really went away for me. I was sitting on my patio last night thinking about itÂ…and what I realized is really scary.
Before finding KTCÂ…I would have bought a tin this past weekend. There is no doubt in my mind.
Before KTCÂ…I never realized that I was an addict. I would have bought a tin thinking one is ok. I would have thoughtÂ…just this weekend. I would have thoughtÂ…come TuesdayÂ…I would just go back to quit. That is what I did in the past and it is why I never quit.
After finding KTCÂ…this is what I knowÂ…
•I’m an addict
•One is never enough
•I’m quit
I have a different mindset. There is no justification for it. IÂ’m done and so happy about it. Do I miss it sometimes? Yes. Do I hate nicotine and everything that went with it? Yes. Can I foresee myself going back to the tin? No fucking way. Why do you ask? I love being quit and make quitting a priority each day. Posting roll isnÂ’t a chore for me. Posting roll is a way to make quitting a priority each day. I have worked way too hard for my freedom and IÂ’m not about to piss it away.
agree to all of that. I had a couple tough moments this weekend myself. one that was almost a bit too sketch, but stayed strong just knowing how shitty i would feel if I did cave.
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Day 247
Labor Day WeekendÂ…the end of summerÂ…the beginning of fallÂ…football season. Too many triggers for me this past couple of days. I really struggled this weekend. The craving never really went away for me. I was sitting on my patio last night thinking about itÂ…and what I realized is really scary.
Before finding KTCÂ…I would have bought a tin this past weekend. There is no doubt in my mind.
Before KTCÂ…I never realized that I was an addict. I would have bought a tin thinking one is ok. I would have thoughtÂ…just this weekend. I would have thoughtÂ…come TuesdayÂ…I would just go back to quit. That is what I did in the past and it is why I never quit.
After finding KTCÂ…this is what I knowÂ…
•I’m an addict
•One is never enough
•I’m quit
I have a different mindset. There is no justification for it. IÂ’m done and so happy about it. Do I miss it sometimes? Yes. Do I hate nicotine and everything that went with it? Yes. Can I foresee myself going back to the tin? No fucking way. Why do you ask? I love being quit and make quitting a priority each day. Posting roll isnÂ’t a chore for me. Posting roll is a way to make quitting a priority each day. I have worked way too hard for my freedom and IÂ’m not about to piss it away.
Keep killing it in here WW! Don't ever give her an inch!
Having quit on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend last year, it felt like a victory lap this time. Watching football without dip is better as I don't need to miss any plays packing my lip with poison! I'm glad that you are here WW and it's great that you are paying it forward. That is the win-win magic of this site. Quitting with others and being accountable. All anyone needs to do is post roll every day.
Proud to quit with you today! :)
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Posted this in April...Day 253
A couple of things IÂ’m really happy aboutÂ…
1-EaglesÂ…I love football and they won.
2-I was sitting on my patio Friday night with some friends. One dips and we used to dip all the time together. He knows that I quit and tries to not dip around me. I was talking to him again and my quit and I saidÂ…IÂ’m 250 days quitÂ…he said that is awesome. He tells me that he canÂ’t do itÂ…he needs to dip while playing golf. The addict talkÂ…I remember saying similar things in the past. He just isnÂ’t ready to quitÂ…I hope he gets ready soonÂ…for him and his family.
3-Saturday nightÂ…played poker with some neighbors. I lost but I still consider it a win. Two neighbors dipÂ…and they were dipping all night long. I thought it might be a problem for me but it turned out to be nothing. I never wanted to and I thoughtÂ…this is awesome being quit. When I first quitÂ…I never thought nights like this past weekend were possibleÂ…hanging around dippers, not craving and being actually happy about being quit.
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WW it just keeps getting better! You're definitely getting the right mindset for your quit. Damn proud of you and thank you for sharing this, makes my quit wood more like quit steel! Damn proud of you and damn proud to be quit with you!
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WW it just keeps getting better! You're definitely getting the right mindset for your quit. Damn proud of you and thank you for sharing this, makes my quit wood more like quit steel! Damn proud of you and damn proud to be quit with you!
Yep. Had the same things happening to me. Even after a year we still need to keep our guard up. I had a tough time in the mid 200's. Stay vigilant and proud to quit with you today.
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Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to goÂ…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didnÂ’t know that I dipped. She saidÂ…fineÂ…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasnÂ’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situationÂ…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This yearÂ…I told her we should go to the game again. IÂ’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isnÂ’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasnÂ’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slaveÂ…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you donÂ’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
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Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to goÂ…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didnÂ’t know that I dipped. She saidÂ…fineÂ…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasnÂ’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situationÂ…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This yearÂ…I told her we should go to the game again. IÂ’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isnÂ’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasnÂ’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slaveÂ…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you donÂ’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
WW my friend it is the same story for me. I always wanted to stay home, go ahead hon and take the kids. Now I find it very disturbing when I think back losing every precious second with my kids. Now there grown :( I love them dearly and to this day I cherish every moment i have with them! Damn you tobacco! I lost alot of good years with banging a can and I ask them to this day if they forgive for all of the games, proms, trick or treating etc; do you forgive me. That may sound stupid but I never realized all tje time I missed with them until I quit. Grandkids now and by golly their not getting cheated by the can. Great story and remember every damn second is priceless! Quit on!
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Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to goÂ…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didnÂ’t know that I dipped. She saidÂ…fineÂ…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasnÂ’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situationÂ…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This yearÂ…I told her we should go to the game again. IÂ’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isnÂ’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasnÂ’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slaveÂ…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you donÂ’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
WW my friend it is the same story for me. I always wanted to stay home, go ahead hon and take the kids. Now I find it very disturbing when I think back losing every precious second with my kids. Now there grown :( I love them dearly and to this day I cherish every moment i have with them! Damn you tobacco! I lost alot of good years with banging a can and I ask them to this day if they forgive for all of the games, proms, trick or treating etc; do you forgive me. That may sound stupid but I never realized all tje time I missed with them until I quit. Grandkids now and by golly their not getting cheated by the can. Great story and remember every damn second is priceless! Quit on!
You guys are spot on, and I reflect on the selfish spats I have let myself cause for the same reasons. That is why I love the freedom of being quit. It really is precious. Quit on WW!
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poof
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Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to goÂ…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didnÂ’t know that I dipped. She saidÂ…fineÂ…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasnÂ’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situationÂ…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This yearÂ…I told her we should go to the game again. IÂ’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isnÂ’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasnÂ’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slaveÂ…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you donÂ’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
WW my friend it is the same story for me. I always wanted to stay home, go ahead hon and take the kids. Now I find it very disturbing when I think back losing every precious second with my kids. Now there grown :( I love them dearly and to this day I cherish every moment i have with them! Damn you tobacco! I lost alot of good years with banging a can and I ask them to this day if they forgive for all of the games, proms, trick or treating etc; do you forgive me. That may sound stupid but I never realized all tje time I missed with them until I quit. Grandkids now and by golly their not getting cheated by the can. Great story and remember every damn second is priceless! Quit on!
You guys are spot on, and I reflect on the selfish spats I have let myself cause for the same reasons. That is why I love the freedom of being quit. It really is precious. Quit on WW!
So damn true. Kills me that I let and damn weed keep me from doing things with family because i wanted to dip. Ughhhhhh. Free now though!!!!!!
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Posted this in April...Day 278.
What a difference quitting has made on my life. Tonight is a big HS football game in my area. It will be sold out and you will need to get there an hour early just to get a seat. I usually hate crowds or going into situations that I will be uncomfortable. Last year for this game I got into a small argument with the wife. She thought it would be fun to goÂ…I thought it would be a pain in the ass. She knows that I hate crowds but she didnÂ’t know that I dipped. She saidÂ…fineÂ…you stay and I will take the kids. This wasnÂ’t the first time I started a fight to stay home by self either. At first my addict brain was like this is great. I get to sit at home by myself and dip care free. When I look back at this situationÂ…I think I started the fight so I might be able to stay home a dip. That is pretty shitty. I did come to my senses because I felt like shit starting a fight over nothing. Leading up to the game I was dreading it. I was in a bad mood. I went to the game and had a really good time. This yearÂ…I told her we should go to the game again. IÂ’m looking forward to the game tonight.
Quitting isnÂ’t always a walk in the park. Some days it is a real struggle. Some days I questions if I want to still fight for my quit. Some days I miss dipping. Every day I wish I wasnÂ’t an addict. During these days or moments I try to remember all the baggage that went with being a slaveÂ…the lying, fighting and using something that will eventually kill me. For every victory cherish them like they are the most important thing in your life. Celebrate and enjoy it like the day your first child was born. Store them in your memory bank for times that you donÂ’t want to fight anymore. It will help you remember why you are fighting each day for your freedom.
WW my friend it is the same story for me. I always wanted to stay home, go ahead hon and take the kids. Now I find it very disturbing when I think back losing every precious second with my kids. Now there grown :( I love them dearly and to this day I cherish every moment i have with them! Damn you tobacco! I lost alot of good years with banging a can and I ask them to this day if they forgive for all of the games, proms, trick or treating etc; do you forgive me. That may sound stupid but I never realized all tje time I missed with them until I quit. Grandkids now and by golly their not getting cheated by the can. Great story and remember every damn second is priceless! Quit on!
You guys are spot on, and I reflect on the selfish spats I have let myself cause for the same reasons. That is why I love the freedom of being quit. It really is precious. Quit on WW!
So damn true. Kills me that I let and damn weed keep me from doing things with family because i wanted to dip. Ughhhhhh. Free now though!!!!!!
Interesting, I figured I was the only one that did that...skip out on family functions so I could sit around the house and dip. And come to think of it, I am more involved in their lives due to Quitting.
Inspiring and thought provoking post WW thanks for sharing.
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Posted this in April...Day 302
A couple of things I have noticed since quitting. I’m drinking too much. I feel like I have replaced nicotine with alcohol. I have made an effort to fix that. Also…when I’m stressed…I crave big time. I’m short tempered and can get really moody. This past Friday night it came to a head. I have a major project going at work. I have a major renovation being down at my house. My kids drive me nuts some (most) days. My wife is very supportive but calls out my behavior. I get home from work and find out that the kids want to carve pumpkins later that night. Before quitting…I would have a couple of beers and dip while they carved pumpkins. That night...I had neither and it wasn’t easy. I snapped at my daughter early that night…I have been snapping at her way to much and need to fix that too. My wife called me out on it. I head to the gym to see it that can fix my mood. I can’t remember the last time I worked out on a Friday night. I bang out 4 miles on the treadmill. I come home more relaxed but still craving bad. I tried to remain positive throughout the night. They carved their pumpkins and it was fun. I helped my daughter (she is 11) carve hers and at the end…she gave me a big hug and said, “Thanks, Dad, for helping me”. I felt like shit since I snapped at her earlier that evening.
Since quittingÂ…I have found some major and minor behavioral flaws that I need to fix. IÂ’m working at them. One day hopefully I will look back at me quitting nicotine as the moment that I grew up and became a better person, father, husband
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You're not alone in this WalterWhite. I rarely drank when I dipped. Early in my quit I drank a lot. Probably trying to fill the void of missing dip. I'm tackling the drinking thing now too. I guess its always something. It just all about trying to better ourselves. I'm thankful we are quit. One less thing right?
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Posted this in April...Day 302
A couple of things I have noticed since quitting. I’m drinking too much. I feel like I have replaced nicotine with alcohol. I have made an effort to fix that. Also…when I’m stressed…I crave big time. I’m short tempered and can get really moody. This past Friday night it came to a head. I have a major project going at work. I have a major renovation being down at my house. My kids drive me nuts some (most) days. My wife is very supportive but calls out my behavior. I get home from work and find out that the kids want to carve pumpkins later that night. Before quitting…I would have a couple of beers and dip while they carved pumpkins. That night...I had neither and it wasn’t easy. I snapped at my daughter early that night…I have been snapping at her way to much and need to fix that too. My wife called me out on it. I head to the gym to see it that can fix my mood. I can’t remember the last time I worked out on a Friday night. I bang out 4 miles on the treadmill. I come home more relaxed but still craving bad. I tried to remain positive throughout the night. They carved their pumpkins and it was fun. I helped my daughter (she is 11) carve hers and at the end…she gave me a big hug and said, “Thanks, Dad, for helping me”. I felt like shit since I snapped at her earlier that evening.
Since quittingÂ…I have found some major and minor behavioral flaws that I need to fix. IÂ’m working at them. One day hopefully I will look back at me quitting nicotine as the moment that I grew up and became a better person, father, husbandÂ…
I can really relate WW. I've got a daughter who's 12 and one that's 7. It seems like I'm always snapping at the 12 year old and feeling like shit afterwards. Instead of the the alcohol I've replaced the NIC with snacking. Now that I'm on a diet I can see more clearly how I'm still craving "something". I definitely feel better than I did on day 3 of my quit but it's obvious that I'm still not cured.
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Posted this in April...Day 302
A couple of things I have noticed since quitting. I’m drinking too much. I feel like I have replaced nicotine with alcohol. I have made an effort to fix that. Also…when I’m stressed…I crave big time. I’m short tempered and can get really moody. This past Friday night it came to a head. I have a major project going at work. I have a major renovation being down at my house. My kids drive me nuts some (most) days. My wife is very supportive but calls out my behavior. I get home from work and find out that the kids want to carve pumpkins later that night. Before quitting…I would have a couple of beers and dip while they carved pumpkins. That night...I had neither and it wasn’t easy. I snapped at my daughter early that night…I have been snapping at her way to much and need to fix that too. My wife called me out on it. I head to the gym to see it that can fix my mood. I can’t remember the last time I worked out on a Friday night. I bang out 4 miles on the treadmill. I come home more relaxed but still craving bad. I tried to remain positive throughout the night. They carved their pumpkins and it was fun. I helped my daughter (she is 11) carve hers and at the end…she gave me a big hug and said, “Thanks, Dad, for helping me”. I felt like shit since I snapped at her earlier that evening.
Since quittingÂ…I have found some major and minor behavioral flaws that I need to fix. IÂ’m working at them. One day hopefully I will look back at me quitting nicotine as the moment that I grew up and became a better person, father, husbandÂ…
I can really relate WW. I've got a daughter who's 12 and one that's 7. It seems like I'm always snapping at the 12 year old and feeling like shit afterwards. Instead of the the alcohol I've replaced the NIC with snacking. Now that I'm on a diet I can see more clearly how I'm still craving "something". I definitely feel better than I did on day 3 of my quit but it's obvious that I'm still not cured.
I'm still working on a lot of this stuff too, three years in. That's ok, too. I spent over 30 years dealing with life through a neurotoxin-tinted lens. I never learned how to be an adult without the addiction calculus being a hidden part of the equation. Now it's different. And new. And I don't always know how to handle things right away. The instincts are wrong sometimes. But it keeps getting better- I keep getting better- now that I'm free of those chains to nicotine.
Thanks for posting this stuff guys. I'm proud to quit with men who have the courage to be open with the struggles!
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Posted this in April...Day 302
A couple of things I have noticed since quitting. I’m drinking too much. I feel like I have replaced nicotine with alcohol. I have made an effort to fix that. Also…when I’m stressed…I crave big time. I’m short tempered and can get really moody. This past Friday night it came to a head. I have a major project going at work. I have a major renovation being down at my house. My kids drive me nuts some (most) days. My wife is very supportive but calls out my behavior. I get home from work and find out that the kids want to carve pumpkins later that night. Before quitting…I would have a couple of beers and dip while they carved pumpkins. That night...I had neither and it wasn’t easy. I snapped at my daughter early that night…I have been snapping at her way to much and need to fix that too. My wife called me out on it. I head to the gym to see it that can fix my mood. I can’t remember the last time I worked out on a Friday night. I bang out 4 miles on the treadmill. I come home more relaxed but still craving bad. I tried to remain positive throughout the night. They carved their pumpkins and it was fun. I helped my daughter (she is 11) carve hers and at the end…she gave me a big hug and said, “Thanks, Dad, for helping me”. I felt like shit since I snapped at her earlier that evening.
Since quittingÂ…I have found some major and minor behavioral flaws that I need to fix. IÂ’m working at them. One day hopefully I will look back at me quitting nicotine as the moment that I grew up and became a better person, father, husbandÂ…
I can really relate WW. I've got a daughter who's 12 and one that's 7. It seems like I'm always snapping at the 12 year old and feeling like shit afterwards. Instead of the the alcohol I've replaced the NIC with snacking. Now that I'm on a diet I can see more clearly how I'm still craving "something". I definitely feel better than I did on day 3 of my quit but it's obvious that I'm still not cured.
I'm still working on a lot of this stuff too, three years in. That's ok, too. I spent over 30 years dealing with life through a neurotoxin-tinted lens. I never learned how to be an adult without the addiction calculus being a hidden part of the equation. Now it's different. And new. And I don't always know how to handle things right away. The instincts are wrong sometimes. But it keeps getting better- I keep getting better- now that I'm free of those chains to nicotine.
Thanks for posting this stuff guys. I'm proud to quit with men who have the courage to be open with the struggles!
Wow guys! This right here is straight out of my world. How in the hell 674 day's later im still very short tempered and want to avoid crowds. My daughter actually made a comment about how she would like to have her daddy back. I've been asking myself are we angry now because we can't get our fix? I'm a foreman at work, I snap at times when I should be teaching. I'm learning to believe what I've been told here at ktc, 38 years of hiding behind a can, I will have to learn what life is about without chemicals or should I say toxins? It's definitely alot better than first 300 day's but it's not over I know. Did it actually eat up something in our brains for coping with stress, feelings, emotions? One damn thing is for sure with it getting alot farther apart I'm loving life but hating when I'm a dickhead! Some day soon I will know how a normal life is suppose to be. Thanks ww!
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December 4, 2014Â…I tried to quit on this date. I would be over two years quit today. I would be 736 days quitÂ…instead IÂ’m 340. I quit for a life insurance test. I thoughtÂ…this time I will stop for real. I made it over 150 days. One weekend I bought a can and you know how it goesÂ…I was back to my 2 tins a day in no time. I remember thinking that IÂ’m a failure and how disappointed I was in myself. It took me over 7 months to try again. I knew this quit had to be my last one. I was so done with it. Approaching one year quit I find myself looking back into my past and realizing how long I wasted feeding my addiction. I never realized that I was an addict. I always thought I could quit whenever I wanted. It makes me sad to think of the wasted money, time and energy to feed this addiction. The damage it did to my health. It still makes me angry to think that something could control my life AND that I had no idea that it was doing it. I think it helps to look back and learn from your mistakes. The problem is when that is all you doing. You need to look forward and grow each day. This year has been the best year of my life. I have made tremendous strides in improving myself. I felt it would be nice to list themÂ…
1. IÂ’m finally QUIT.
2. I told my wife that I was a ninja dipper. Our marriage is stronger. IÂ’m no longer hiding something from her.
3. I told my son and daughter that IÂ’m an addict. I hope they never try nicotine.
4. I realized that I substituted alcohol for nicotine. I have made great strides and proud of where IÂ’m at with it.
5. I have become a better father. My kids always called me Scourge. I never wanted to do anything because I wanted to be by myself to ninja dip. I love doing things with my family now.
6. I have become a better person. IÂ’m more relaxed. I find it helps me to help others.
7. The first time in a long timeÂ…I donÂ’t have this nagging feeling over me. IÂ’m finally living my life free from my addictions. IÂ’m really happy. Hiding this all those years took a toll on me.
What I have found out this past yearÂ…is that we all have issues that nicotine masked. These are coming out now and they will need to be addressed. DonÂ’t let another day be wasted deciding what to do about them. NikeÂ…really does have the best mottoÂ…Just Do It.
Thanks again for your support this past yearÂ…I look forward to us growing each and every day together.
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December 4, 2014Â…I tried to quit on this date. I would be over two years quit today. I would be 736 days quitÂ…instead IÂ’m 340. I quit for a life insurance test. I thoughtÂ…this time I will stop for real. I made it over 150 days. One weekend I bought a can and you know how it goesÂ…I was back to my 2 tins a day in no time. I remember thinking that IÂ’m a failure and how disappointed I was in myself. It took me over 7 months to try again. I knew this quit had to be my last one. I was so done with it. Approaching one year quit I find myself looking back into my past and realizing how long I wasted feeding my addiction. I never realized that I was an addict. I always thought I could quit whenever I wanted. It makes me sad to think of the wasted money, time and energy to feed this addiction. The damage it did to my health. It still makes me angry to think that something could control my life AND that I had no idea that it was doing it. I think it helps to look back and learn from your mistakes. The problem is when that is all you doing. You need to look forward and grow each day. This year has been the best year of my life. I have made tremendous strides in improving myself. I felt it would be nice to list themÂ…
1.IÂ’m finally QUIT.
2.I told my wife that I was a ninja dipper. Our marriage is stronger. IÂ’m no longer hiding something from her.
3.I told my son and daughter that IÂ’m an addict. I hope they never try nicotine.
4.I realized that I substituted alcohol for nicotine. I have made great strides and proud of where IÂ’m at with it.
5.I have become a better father. My kids always called me Scourge. I never wanted to do anything because I wanted to be by myself to ninja dip. I love doing things with my family now.
6.I have become a better person. IÂ’m more relaxed. I find it helps me to help others.
7.The first time in a long timeÂ…I donÂ’t have this nagging feeling over me. IÂ’m finally living my life free from my addictions. IÂ’m really happy. Hiding this all those years took a toll on me.
What I have found out this past yearÂ…is that we all have issues that nicotine masked. These are coming out now and they will need to be addressed. DonÂ’t let another day be wasted deciding what to do about them. NikeÂ…really does have the best mottoÂ…Just Do It.
Thanks again for your support this past yearÂ…I look forward to us growing each and every day together.
great post friend.....everyone can learn so much about them self once they give up the nicotine and live life without it.
but the one thing we also need to remember is where we came from, as as weird as it seems, that past made us what we are and can be today....
as you say, you are better and stronger than a year ago with your health and relationships. well that will only continue to get better.
great job and keep it up, just one day after the other.
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I know the feeling. I'm not 340 yet, but I know the feeling. Freedom. It's not "I have to post roll", but "I post roll, because I can!". Flip the switch.
Thanks for your support WW! :wub:
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I know the feeling. I'm not 340 yet, but I know the feeling. Freedom. It's not "I have to post roll", but "I post roll, because I can!". Flip the switch.
Thanks for your support WW! :wub:
Word!!
U 2 , i am proud to quit with you.
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I know the feeling. I'm not 340 yet, but I know the feeling. Freedom. It's not "I have to post roll", but "I post roll, because I can!". Flip the switch.
Thanks for your support WW! :wub:
Word!!
U 2 , i am proud to quit with you.
That's it man. Not sure why its a burden to most who want to quit. If its ever considered a burden think back to how much control that crap had over us.
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Congrats on 1 year WW! That's some real BAQ quit'n!
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Haven't read through your intro in awhile!!Great stories that will help many of us in the future for our quits. I'm extremely proud to quit with you and that you take a lil time every day to make sure that I stay quit..I take that to heart and wish congrats on 1 year quit and for showing us how to get there
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Congrats on 1 year WW! That's some real BAQ quit'n!
W W congrats on your 1 year quit brother!
Thanks for sticking around and paying it forward.
:wub:
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Congrats on 1 year WW! That's some real BAQ quit'n!
W W congrats on your 1 year quit brother!
Thanks for sticking around and paying it forward.
:wub:
Thanks WW for all you do, Congrats on 1 year!
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Congrats on 1 year WW! That's some real BAQ quit'n!
W W congrats on your 1 year quit brother!
Thanks for sticking around and paying it forward.
:wub:
Thanks WW for all you do, Congrats on 1 year!
Way to go badass! Keep helping, it's what's got us all this far my friend!
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Congrats on 1 year WW! That's some real BAQ quit'n!
W W congrats on your 1 year quit brother!
Thanks for sticking around and paying it forward.
:wub:
Thanks WW for all you do, Congrats on 1 year!
Way to go badass! Keep helping, it's what's got us all this far my friend!
Congrats on one year! Great quit sir!
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One year quitÂ…day 368
I thought it would feel different at 1 year. I donÂ’t want to sound like a party pooper but I didnÂ’t wake up like a kid on Christmas morning. Maybe it has to do with having a head cold or maybe IÂ’m just maturing in my quit. I was hoping to have something really profound to say. Maybe something that you would read and thinkÂ…holy shitÂ…this dude is bad ass. But noÂ…I got nothing.
IÂ’m cruising right along in my quit. I donÂ’t really have craves anymore. I might get a crave once every couple of weeks. It goes away really fast though. I havenÂ’t had the funk in many months. IÂ’m really enjoying my quit. I have been through many of the things that I did with dipÂ…now without it. I was excepting more problems with Thanksgiving and Christmas but I had no issues. I was really happy to spend time with the family and not have to worry about getting my fix.
There are things that IÂ’m working on to make me a better person. I wrote about these things before and I think IÂ’m making progress. My life is at a better place. IÂ’m much happier. IÂ’m not living with a dread over my life. IÂ’m finally free. I never thought I would feel this good from quitting. Early onÂ…I wondered if I would ever get excited about an event without dip. Now I excited about the event and doing it dip free. That is really cool.
Most days I feel like helping out and other daysÂ…I wonder how long will I do this? Do I really need to post roll for the rest of my life? Do I really need to be posting in a new group and offering to help a new quitter? These thoughts keep creeping into my brain. I think that is why people leave KTC. They are finally quit. Their daily battle is over. They start to think about the future and they donÂ’t want to post roll for the rest of their life start to creep in. I also donÂ’t want to post roll or commit to something for the rest of my life. That is way too scary. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. What I found is that if I just post roll today all these other issues will work out. Without KTCÂ…I might be quitÂ…with KTC IÂ’m quit. IÂ’m forever grateful to those that have helped me. Without you being here each dayÂ…KTC doesnÂ’t work.
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Been dipping since I was 15/16 (50 now), actually quit for 3 years for insurance purposes and about 15 years ago picked up a can so I could stay up for long drive (dumb fucking move!). Anyway I'm on day 5, can't concentrate at all, took me a half hour to figure out how to post to this site and I use a computer daily... URG! Nice to read there are plenty of people out there in my shoes so thanks for the support. This is a pretty cool site, glad it's here. You think your alone and nobody will know if you just sneak down the Circle K and pick up a can. Thought about it say 500 times since Monday....
I love the whole Ninja Dipper thing, I am one, but never heard the expression before. I'd rather be by myself an dip than be with my family. Crazy...
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One year quitÂ…day 368
I thought it would feel different at 1 year. I donÂ’t want to sound like a party pooper but I didnÂ’t wake up like a kid on Christmas morning. Maybe it has to do with having a head cold or maybe IÂ’m just maturing in my quit. I was hoping to have something really profound to say. Maybe something that you would read and thinkÂ…holy shitÂ…this dude is bad ass. But noÂ…I got nothing.
IÂ’m cruising right along in my quit. I donÂ’t really have craves anymore. I might get a crave once every couple of weeks. It goes away really fast though. I havenÂ’t had the funk in many months. IÂ’m really enjoying my quit. I have been through many of the things that I did with dipÂ…now without it. I was excepting more problems with Thanksgiving and Christmas but I had no issues. I was really happy to spend time with the family and not have to worry about getting my fix.
There are things that IÂ’m working on to make me a better person. I wrote about these things before and I think IÂ’m making progress. My life is at a better place. IÂ’m much happier. IÂ’m not living with a dread over my life. IÂ’m finally free. I never thought I would feel this good from quitting. Early onÂ…I wondered if I would ever get excited about an event without dip. Now I excited about the event and doing it dip free. That is really cool.
Most days I feel like helping out and other daysÂ…I wonder how long will I do this? Do I really need to post roll for the rest of my life? Do I really need to be posting in a new group and offering to help a new quitter? These thoughts keep creeping into my brain. I think that is why people leave KTC. They are finally quit. Their daily battle is over. They start to think about the future and they donÂ’t want to post roll for the rest of their life start to creep in. I also donÂ’t want to post roll or commit to something for the rest of my life. That is way too scary. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. What I found is that if I just post roll today all these other issues will work out. Without KTCÂ…I might be quitÂ…with KTC IÂ’m quit. IÂ’m forever grateful to those that have helped me. Without you being here each dayÂ…KTC doesnÂ’t work.
Sounds so familiar...i had to go back and read what i had written in July on my 1 year. Trippy man.
Im so glad you are here....so fortunate to have had you a part of my quit thank you.
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One year quitÂ…day 368
I thought it would feel different at 1 year. I donÂ’t want to sound like a party pooper but I didnÂ’t wake up like a kid on Christmas morning. Maybe it has to do with having a head cold or maybe IÂ’m just maturing in my quit. I was hoping to have something really profound to say. Maybe something that you would read and thinkÂ…holy shitÂ…this dude is bad ass. But noÂ…I got nothing.
IÂ’m cruising right along in my quit. I donÂ’t really have craves anymore. I might get a crave once every couple of weeks. It goes away really fast though. I havenÂ’t had the funk in many months. IÂ’m really enjoying my quit. I have been through many of the things that I did with dipÂ…now without it. I was excepting more problems with Thanksgiving and Christmas but I had no issues. I was really happy to spend time with the family and not have to worry about getting my fix.
There are things that IÂ’m working on to make me a better person. I wrote about these things before and I think IÂ’m making progress. My life is at a better place. IÂ’m much happier. IÂ’m not living with a dread over my life. IÂ’m finally free. I never thought I would feel this good from quitting. Early onÂ…I wondered if I would ever get excited about an event without dip. Now I excited about the event and doing it dip free. That is really cool.
Most days I feel like helping out and other daysÂ…I wonder how long will I do this? Do I really need to post roll for the rest of my life? Do I really need to be posting in a new group and offering to help a new quitter? These thoughts keep creeping into my brain. I think that is why people leave KTC. They are finally quit. Their daily battle is over. They start to think about the future and they donÂ’t want to post roll for the rest of their life start to creep in. I also donÂ’t want to post roll or commit to something for the rest of my life. That is way too scary. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. What I found is that if I just post roll today all these other issues will work out. Without KTCÂ…I might be quitÂ…with KTC IÂ’m quit. IÂ’m forever grateful to those that have helped me. Without you being here each dayÂ…KTC doesnÂ’t work.
Sounds so familiar...i had to go back and read what i had written in July on my 1 year. Trippy man.
Im so glad you are here....so fortunate to have had you a part of my quit thank you.
I hinted at this in my quit group tonight. What if we all left and no one posted roll? We'd all just be out on our own knowing that we should stay quit but all accountability would be gone. Posting roll takes a minute. Posting support for someone who is just starting means that we vow to stay quit while that new person gets on their feet. It is a powerful statement which is why making that commitment keeps us here. Quitting here is more freedom than burden. :)
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Congrats on reaching the 4th floor, WW, and for all you do to pay it forward at KTC!
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Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
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Congrats on reaching the 4th floor, WW, and for all you do to pay it forward at KTC!
Congrats WW on your 4th floor arrival.
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Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
Thanks for keeping it real. We need to hear that guys at 400 still get hit by major cravings so that it doesn't catch us by surprise when it happens to us.
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Congrats on 400!!!! Been great to have your support and to be know how many BAQ we still have kicking from april
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Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
Thanks for keeping it real. We need to hear that guys at 400 still get hit by major cravings so that it doesn't catch us by surprise when it happens to us.
Similar to your feelings I too am faced with this challenge every time my wife leaves the house for an extended period of time. It was a way for me to enjoy some alone time, a simple pleasure, a reward. What dip really did was turn me into a lier, a cheat, and a hypocrite everyday. I haven't found a replacement, but I have stopped looking since I'm ridding my life of using various substances that bring no good. It's very hard, every single time, but I find the strength. I hit a milestone today and have done a lot of reflecting. WW you were a major factor introducing this place as a no bullshit place for getting it done. I couldn't have done it without KTC and your representation making this place great. Thanks.
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Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
Thanks for keeping it real. We need to hear that guys at 400 still get hit by major cravings so that it doesn't catch us by surprise when it happens to us.
Similar to your feelings I too am faced with this challenge every time my wife leaves the house for an extended period of time. It was a way for me to enjoy some alone time, a simple pleasure, a reward. What dip really did was turn me into a lier, a cheat, and a hypocrite everyday. I haven't found a replacement, but I have stopped looking since I'm ridding my life of using various substances that bring no good. It's very hard, every single time, but I find the strength. I hit a milestone today and have done a lot of reflecting. WW you were a major factor introducing this place as a no bullshit place for getting it done. I couldn't have done it without KTC and your representation making this place great. Thanks.
Ok I'm gonna go ahead and put this here, I wasn't because I was ashamed. Step out of my truck, big fresh dip just spit out laying on the ground and the bitch actually tried convincing me to pick it up! Mind you I'm very much a hand washing germaphobic! But I must say for a split disgusting second it was real. Now I said that to remind everyone 775 days later that bitch will never give up! And know I would never have done that, I would have went and bought a can though had it not been for ktc! Never cured but definitely thankful for ktc!
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Day 402...
Today I had the worst craving I have had in a long time. My son is dealing with the stomach bug. Yesterday he stayed home by himself. Today, my wife asked if I could stay home with him. I said yes and my first thought...I can dip all day long and nobody would know. That thought turned into a full blown attack. It felt like it lasted forever. Even at over 400 days...that nic bitch sure can swing a mighty punch. If it wasn't for KTC and reminding myself daily that I'm an addict by posting roll...I do think I would have rewarded myself with a dip today. Thinking just today I will use and tomorrow I will go back to being quit. That plan never worked out in the past. How stupid would I have been?
I can't remember the last craving I had before this. I have had thoughts before but nothing that really had me going. Since October...My quit has been really easy. I still think about dip all the time. These thoughts are more...I'm so glad that I'm finally quit. I'm so glad this isn't last year where I was struggling daily with craves and fighting for my freedom. Everyday that I'm quit is a great day. Since quitting my life and attitude has really improved.
Thanks for keeping it real. We need to hear that guys at 400 still get hit by major cravings so that it doesn't catch us by surprise when it happens to us.
Similar to your feelings I too am faced with this challenge every time my wife leaves the house for an extended period of time. It was a way for me to enjoy some alone time, a simple pleasure, a reward. What dip really did was turn me into a lier, a cheat, and a hypocrite everyday. I haven't found a replacement, but I have stopped looking since I'm ridding my life of using various substances that bring no good. It's very hard, every single time, but I find the strength. I hit a milestone today and have done a lot of reflecting. WW you were a major factor introducing this place as a no bullshit place for getting it done. I couldn't have done it without KTC and your representation making this place great. Thanks.
Ok I'm gonna go ahead and put this here, I wasn't because I was ashamed. Step out of my truck, big fresh dip just spit out laying on the ground and the bitch actually tried convincing me to pick it up! Mind you I'm very much a hand washing germaphobic! But I must say for a split disgusting second it was real. Now I said that to remind everyone 775 days later that bitch will never give up! And know I would never have done that, I would have went and bought a can though had it not been for ktc! Never cured but definitely thankful for ktc!
Jeez Pab. THats right it just shows we're never cured! WW Congrats brother on your accomplishment of 400. Proud to quit with you EDD
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WW, congrats on that half-dangle!
thank you for your commitment to your quit and others here.
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
Congrats on this achievement. You were one of the strengths that inspired my initial quit with the Cult and it's so great to see you hit this milestone!!!
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
Congrats on this achievement. You were one of the strengths that inspired my initial quit with the Cult and it's so great to see you hit this milestone!!!
nice ob of 500 WW. Great quitter who has given back big time. Thanks for what you do here, see you on Roll tomorrow
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
Congrats on this achievement. You were one of the strengths that inspired my initial quit with the Cult and it's so great to see you hit this milestone!!!
nice ob of 500 WW. Great quitter who has given back big time. Thanks for what you do here, see you on Roll tomorrow
Well done m'man!
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
Congrats on this achievement. You were one of the strengths that inspired my initial quit with the Cult and it's so great to see you hit this milestone!!!
nice ob of 500 WW. Great quitter who has given back big time. Thanks for what you do here, see you on Roll tomorrow
Well done m'man!
Man I hope today was a good one for you.....don't want you to get a case of THESE.... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td0uyVATAzA) Late Congrats Mr. White!!
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500 Days. A day I didn’t think was possible when I first started. I would see other quitters with big numbers and think…holy shit…that will be forever to get there. What I didn’t realize was that the formula is really simple….ODAAT. It might be cliché but it really works. Just take it one day at a time and you will succeed. Want proof? Look at me. I was a pansy ass that always got derailed from quitting because I always thought…no way I could not do something in the future without dip. So I would then go buy tin and waste months to years before trying to quit again.
500 days agoÂ…I put my name on roll and decided to finally quit. It was one of the best decisions that I ever made. I havenÂ’t regretted that decision. IÂ’m lucky and very thankful for KTC. Thanks to all of you who give back and help new quitters. Without youÂ…I wouldnÂ’t be quit.
And donÂ’t worry...IÂ’m not going anywhereÂ…at least for today.
That's awesome stuff WW, congrats on your 500!
Congrats bro. You the man
Congrats on this achievement. You were one of the strengths that inspired my initial quit with the Cult and it's so great to see you hit this milestone!!!
nice ob of 500 WW. Great quitter who has given back big time. Thanks for what you do here, see you on Roll tomorrow
Well done m'man!
Man I hope today was a good one for you.....don't want you to get a case of THESE.... (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td0uyVATAzA) Late Congrats Mr. White!!
Well done Walter
500 rock's
Congrats my man!
I quit with you today.
Rawls 912
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I posted this in April 16 today...
I go to a concert Sunday with my wife and some friends. We got around to reminiscing about college and all the stupid stuff we did. I see my one buddy has a dip in. We used to dip all the time together but now he will try to hide it from me since I quit. So with this reminiscing and seeing him dipping really gave me the strongest crave I had in a long time. I go up to him and we start talkingÂ…he ask me if IÂ’m still quit and I say yesÂ… 532 days and with a big smile and tell him how happy I am to be quit. In the back of my mind thoughÂ…IÂ’m likeÂ….I WANT A DIP SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that without a doubt I would have tried to bum a dip from him in that moment if I didnÂ’t post roll. No questions about it.
Lesson of the dayÂ…DonÂ’t get complacent in you quit.
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I posted this in April 16 today...
I go to a concert Sunday with my wife and some friends. We got around to reminiscing about college and all the stupid stuff we did. I see my one buddy has a dip in. We used to dip all the time together but now he will try to hide it from me since I quit. So with this reminiscing and seeing him dipping really gave me the strongest crave I had in a long time. I go up to him and we start talkingÂ…he ask me if IÂ’m still quit and I say yesÂ… 532 days and with a big smile and tell him how happy I am to be quit. In the back of my mind thoughÂ…IÂ’m likeÂ….I WANT A DIP SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that without a doubt I would have tried to bum a dip from him in that moment if I didnÂ’t post roll. No questions about it.
Lesson of the dayÂ…DonÂ’t get complacent in you quit.
Boom.
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I posted this in April 16 today...
I go to a concert Sunday with my wife and some friends. We got around to reminiscing about college and all the stupid stuff we did. I see my one buddy has a dip in. We used to dip all the time together but now he will try to hide it from me since I quit. So with this reminiscing and seeing him dipping really gave me the strongest crave I had in a long time. I go up to him and we start talkingÂ…he ask me if IÂ’m still quit and I say yesÂ… 532 days and with a big smile and tell him how happy I am to be quit. In the back of my mind thoughÂ…IÂ’m likeÂ….I WANT A DIP SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that without a doubt I would have tried to bum a dip from him in that moment if I didnÂ’t post roll. No questions about it.
Lesson of the dayÂ…DonÂ’t get complacent in you quit.
Boom.
And never forget that in those moments that you have an Army you can text or call for reinforcements.
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I posted this in April 16 today...
I go to a concert Sunday with my wife and some friends. We got around to reminiscing about college and all the stupid stuff we did. I see my one buddy has a dip in. We used to dip all the time together but now he will try to hide it from me since I quit. So with this reminiscing and seeing him dipping really gave me the strongest crave I had in a long time. I go up to him and we start talkingÂ…he ask me if IÂ’m still quit and I say yesÂ… 532 days and with a big smile and tell him how happy I am to be quit. In the back of my mind thoughÂ…IÂ’m likeÂ….I WANT A DIP SO BAD RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew that without a doubt I would have tried to bum a dip from him in that moment if I didnÂ’t post roll. No questions about it.
Lesson of the dayÂ…DonÂ’t get complacent in you quit.
Boom.
And never forget that in those moments that you have an Army you can text or call for reinforcements.
Well done WalterWhite.!
Rawls 947
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A view from the 6th floorÂ…
Things have really settled down for me with quitting. I still get the occasional crave but nothing that canÂ’t be easily dealt with. I still get those thoughts on how am I going to handle this upcoming ???. For example, I had a work trip to Chicago last week. This is the first time traveling solo and my mind was wondering how it would go being dip free. I tried not to think about it too much but you know how it goes. Trip came and went without a single craving. My mind during the trip was more ofÂ…thank god I donÂ’t have to worry about when is this meeting over so I can dip? Life being quit is so much better and simpler than being a slave.
If you helped me along the wayÂ…thank you. I really appreciate it. You gave me hope and inspired me to keep the course. Without you, I doubt I would still be quit. To the newbies that are strugglingÂ…drink the KTC kool-aid. It really works. Just donÂ’t forget to tip the bartender.
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A view from the 6th floorÂ…
Things have really settled down for me with quitting. I still get the occasional crave but nothing that canÂ’t be easily dealt with. I still get those thoughts on how am I going to handle this upcoming ???. For example, I had a work trip to Chicago last week. This is the first time traveling solo and my mind was wondering how it would go being dip free. I tried not to think about it too much but you know how it goes. Trip came and went without a single craving. My mind during the trip was more ofÂ…thank god I donÂ’t have to worry about when is this meeting over so I can dip? Life being quit is so much better and simpler than being a slave.
If you helped me along the wayÂ…thank you. I really appreciate it. You gave me hope and inspired me to keep the course. Without you, I doubt I would still be quit. To the newbies that are strugglingÂ…drink the KTC kool-aid. It really works. Just donÂ’t forget to tip the bartender.
Congrats to you mister WW on 600 days quit! â¤
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congrats on 600 days
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nice 6th floor WW! Congrats
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nice 6th floor WW! Congrats
Nice work. Congrats and good seeing you Saturday
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Posted this in April 16 today....day 631.
IÂ’ve been craving a lot lately. I get the feeling of missing the good old days of when I dipped. The feeling of the last time you did this activity it was a lot of fun and you dipped. The changing of the seasons always gets me and so does stress. I remember having a hard time last September. I have found that I have recently come across new activities that I havenÂ’t done yet or only once or twice dip free. You would think that after 600 plus days first time triggers would be a thing of the past. It is frustrating for sure.
On the good news frontÂ…my son started high school this year. He runs cross country and they had a state wide invitational that he competed in this past Saturday. The rest of my familyÂ…me, wife and daughter get in car and drive 2 hours to see this meet. There are thousands of runners and it takes all day for the meet. His race is the last one of the day. It is 90 degrees and very little shade. We watch him run. He does great considering the heat and it was a super hilly course. IÂ’m driving home and that is when it hits me. I didnÂ’t think about dip all day long. I didnÂ’t have to worry about when can I sneak away from the family to get a dip. Where will I keep my tin so my wife doesnÂ’t find it? When will we get home so I can dip? I just lived in the moment all day long.
Life is so much better and less stressful since being quit. Especially when your teamÂ’s rookie kicker kicks a 61-yard game winner against the Giants
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Mr. WW, congrats on 700 today!
Thank you for all you do here.
Proud to quit with you!
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Mr. WW, congrats on 700 today!
Thank you for all you do here.
Proud to quit with you!
Congrats on the seventh floor Brother!!!
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Mr. WW, congrats on 700 today!
Thank you for all you do here.
Proud to quit with you!
Congrats on the seventh floor Brother!!!
Great job, 7th floor, WW!!! 'party'
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Mr. WW, congrats on 700 today!
Thank you for all you do here.
Proud to quit with you!
Congrats on the seventh floor Brother!!!
Great job, 7th floor, WW!!! 'party'
Floor 7, Floor 7. Nice job!!
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Day 701
There are times that I miss dip. I miss getting that buzz of the first dip of the day. I miss sitting down and watching the game and cracking open a fresh tin. I wish I was able to have just one. Lucky for me these donÂ’t come all that often nor do these thoughts last that long.
When I get these thoughts, like I did yesterday, I always wonder what would happen if I stopped posting roll? Would I still be quit? Would I remember that IÂ’m an addict? I have tried to quit multiple times in the past. What went wrong those times compared to this time? I didnÂ’t realize I was an addict. I didnÂ’t realize that I can never have just one. I came to this realization after my last failure. It was what finally got my mindset right about quitting this time.
My answer is that I really donÂ’t know. I would like to think that I would still be quit if I stopped posting roll. What I do know is that I have been quit for 700 days by posting roll. It works because posting roll is my daily reminder that IÂ’m an addict.
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Day 701
There are times that I miss dip. I miss getting that buzz of the first dip of the day. I miss sitting down and watching the game and cracking open a fresh tin. I wish I was able to have just one. Lucky for me these donÂ’t come all that often nor do these thoughts last that long.
When I get these thoughts, like I did yesterday, I always wonder what would happen if I stopped posting roll? Would I still be quit? Would I remember that IÂ’m an addict? I have tried to quit multiple times in the past. What went wrong those times compared to this time? I didnÂ’t realize I was an addict. I didnÂ’t realize that I can never have just one. I came to this realization after my last failure. It was what finally got my mindset right about quitting this time.
My answer is that I really donÂ’t know. I would like to think that I would still be quit if I stopped posting roll. What I do know is that I have been quit for 700 days by posting roll. It works because posting roll is my daily reminder that IÂ’m an addict.
On point!!!
It's a slippery slope of what if's and potentially leading me down a rabbit hole so deep, I don't think I'd ever surface / survive
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
Well done Sir.
Rawls 1143
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
Well done Sir.
Rawls 1143
Congratulations on 2 years Mr. White! Well done! B)B
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
Well done Sir.
Rawls 1143
Congratulations on 2 years Mr. White! Well done! B)B
Congratulations on 2 Years my friend!
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
Well done Sir.
Rawls 1143
Congratulations on 2 years Mr. White! Well done! B)B
Congratulations on 2 Years my friend!
Congrats on 2 years quit WW!!! Thank you for the support over the last year. Very much appreciated.
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Congrats on your 2 years quit WW!
Thank you for taking care of the place.
Legit quit, well earned.
Nice 2 years WW! Ive been binge watching you all vacation cooking Meth. Havent seen you dip tho so thats great :)
Well done Sir.
Rawls 1143
Congratulations on 2 years Mr. White! Well done! B)B
Congratulations on 2 Years my friend!
Congrats on 2 years quit WW!!! Thank you for the support over the last year. Very much appreciated.
Thank you for the kind words and support. This place is awesome and had helped me be quit. I wouldn't be here without you all.
2 years feels really great!
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Day 766
ItÂ’s been a couple of crazy days for me. In case you havenÂ’t heardÂ…the freaking EAGLES won the Super Bowl! WOWÂ…IÂ’m still in shock. IÂ’m heading to the parade tomorrow with the family. I canÂ’t wait!
I get together with my friends a couple times a year. It is so hard these days with all of us having kids and we just donÂ’t get together as much as we like. The super bowl is one of those times. We are sitting around and talking and then out of nowhere I get this crave to smoke a cigarette. I used to smoke before dipping and a couple of my buddies still occasionally smoke. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind is telling me to reward yourself todayÂ…the Eagles are playing. You can go back to quitting tomorrow and it will help with your stress level. YesÂ…I really want to smoke. Then I remember my promise that I made that morning and tell myself no way. I start thinking about the dreams I have been having lately. I have been having dreams that I have dipped and still post roll like nothing it wrong. In my dream I think to myselfÂ…who would really know? No big deal. I wake up and find myself really upset that my subconscious mind would allow me to think that it would be ok to lie. I hope these thoughts go away soon because it is really messing with my brain.
Every time I think IÂ’m on easy street with quitting I get a dose of reality. These times IÂ’m so happy that I continue to post roll. It is my security blanket. I know without a doubt that if I stopped posting roll I would not be quit today. I would have saidÂ…one is ok and that would have started the cycle to using daily like so many times in the past.
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The joy of the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl.
It is hard to explain it to a casual fan or someone that hasnÂ’t lived through the years of not winning. Most years you have a hope. Some years there is no hope. Those special years that you think this is the year and then to see them lose itÂ…year after year. The thoughts of next year is our year. It just sucks. These past few days all these thoughts have run through my head and now finallyÂ…we are the champions! Never again will I have to hear that we never won the Super Bowl.
I tried to explain this to my daughter. She is 12. She didnÂ’t get it at first but now she does since I explained it to her while we waited for the parade to start. She loves Christmas and gets so excited for it to come. Weeks before she is bouncing around the house. She told me I was acting like her on Super Bowl Sunday before the game. I was. I couldnÂ’t sit still. I had that nervous energy. So, getting back to my story. Imagine every Christmas you had no idea if Santa would come. You heard stories of Santa leaving lots of presents for kids in other cities but you have never experienced it yet. Every year you would hope that he would come. Every year you would have that nervous energy that excitement that you have leading up to Christmas day. You go to bed and wake up and pray that he came. You run down steps and turn the corner and nothing. He didnÂ’t come, again. You would feel total disappointment. What is worse though is that you saw that he came to the kids from NYC and to Dallas or those New England kids. You hear those kids laughing at you since Santa has never been to your house. Even some of these kids have experienced Santa on Christmas more than once. You have never felt that feeling of having presents to open Christmas morning.
Imagine after 57 years of him never coming he finally comes. Image how you would feel when you turned the corner and you see all the presents under the Christmas tree for you. All those years of disappointment wiped away. Never again will you hear those chants of you never winning. You are finally Super Bowl Champs! That what it means to me and I got to celebrate it yesterday with my family. What a week this has been and one that I will never forget.
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The joy of the Philadelphia Eagles winning the Super Bowl.
It is hard to explain it to a casual fan or someone that hasnÂ’t lived through the years of not winning. Most years you have a hope. Some years there is no hope. Those special years that you think this is the year and then to see them lose itÂ…year after year. The thoughts of next year is our year. It just sucks. These past few days all these thoughts have run through my head and now finallyÂ…we are the champions! Never again will I have to hear that we never won the Super Bowl.
I tried to explain this to my daughter. She is 12. She didnÂ’t get it at first but now she does since I explained it to her while we waited for the parade to start. She loves Christmas and gets so excited for it to come. Weeks before she is bouncing around the house. She told me I was acting like her on Super Bowl Sunday before the game. I was. I couldnÂ’t sit still. I had that nervous energy. So, getting back to my story. Imagine every Christmas you had no idea if Santa would come. You heard stories of Santa leaving lots of presents for kids in other cities but you have never experienced it yet. Every year you would hope that he would come. Every year you would have that nervous energy that excitement that you have leading up to Christmas day. You go to bed and wake up and pray that he came. You run down steps and turn the corner and nothing. He didnÂ’t come, again. You would feel total disappointment. What is worse though is that you saw that he came to the kids from NYC and to Dallas or those New England kids. You hear those kids laughing at you since Santa has never been to your house. Even some of these kids have experienced Santa on Christmas more than once. You have never felt that feeling of having presents to open Christmas morning.
Imagine after 57 years of him never coming he finally comes. Image how you would feel when you turned the corner and you see all the presents under the Christmas tree for you. All those years of disappointment wiped away. Never again will you hear those chants of you never winning. You are finally Super Bowl Champs! That what it means to me and I got to celebrate it yesterday with my family. What a week this has been and one that I will never forget.
Awesome analogy and perspective... still coal in the stocking for this life long Vikes fan, so yeah I def get it. Congrats brotha.
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Day 766
ItÂ’s been a couple of crazy days for me. In case you havenÂ’t heardÂ…the freaking EAGLES won the Super Bowl! WOWÂ…IÂ’m still in shock. IÂ’m heading to the parade tomorrow with the family. I canÂ’t wait!
I get together with my friends a couple times a year. It is so hard these days with all of us having kids and we just donÂ’t get together as much as we like. The super bowl is one of those times. We are sitting around and talking and then out of nowhere I get this crave to smoke a cigarette. I used to smoke before dipping and a couple of my buddies still occasionally smoke. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My mind is telling me to reward yourself todayÂ…the Eagles are playing. You can go back to quitting tomorrow and it will help with your stress level. YesÂ…I really want to smoke. Then I remember my promise that I made that morning and tell myself no way. I start thinking about the dreams I have been having lately. I have been having dreams that I have dipped and still post roll like nothing it wrong. In my dream I think to myselfÂ…who would really know? No big deal. I wake up and find myself really upset that my subconscious mind would allow me to think that it would be ok to lie. I hope these thoughts go away soon because it is really messing with my brain.
Every time I think IÂ’m on easy street with quitting I get a dose of reality. These times IÂ’m so happy that I continue to post roll. It is my security blanket. I know without a doubt that if I stopped posting roll I would not be quit today. I would have saidÂ…one is ok and that would have started the cycle to using daily like so many times in the past.
I've had that same dream a few times. It really does screw with your brain any way it can.
Congrats on your team winning. My Niners look to be strong again next season based on the last five games of this past season.
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Day 781
I had one weird cave dream last night.
I was out the night before drinking with friends. I woke up and posted roll as usual. Later that day someone told me that I took a couple of puffs from a cigarette the night before. I didnÂ’t remember it at all. I was shocked that I did that. I wondered if I needed to count it as a cave since I didnÂ’t remember it. I went back and forth on what I would do since I lied on roll. If I tell others then I would be banned from KTC. Even if I wasnÂ’t banned no way I could start over on day 1 again. Should I just pretend it didnÂ’t happen?
I have been having lots of dreams lately about caving and still posting roll like nothing happened. I usually enjoy vivid dreams but these caving ones I have been lately are really starting to mess with my psyche.
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Day 781
I had one weird cave dream last night.
I was out the night before drinking with friends. I woke up and posted roll as usual. Later that day someone told me that I took a couple of puffs from a cigarette the night before. I didnÂ’t remember it at all. I was shocked that I did that. I wondered if I needed to count it as a cave since I didnÂ’t remember it. I went back and forth on what I would do since I lied on roll. If I tell others then I would be banned from KTC. Even if I wasnÂ’t banned no way I could start over on day 1 again. Should I just pretend it didnÂ’t happen?
I have been having lots of dreams lately about caving and still posting roll like nothing happened. I usually enjoy vivid dreams but these caving ones I have been lately are really starting to mess with my psyche.
man those are the type that can get to you,
but from one standpoint, to me this is more than just the using. You have that under control. This is speaking more towards the other parts of you, the honesty, integrity.....and the memories of the past are trying to edge their way back in via this path....
keep strong and talking, and you will get these dreams under control too.
(and of course since I have shaken your hand, I could have just said....well you are weird....lol....but that would have been too easy....(takes one to know one)). roflmao
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Congrats on 800 days WW!!
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Congrats on 8th Floor WW. Proud to be quit with you!
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Congrats on 8th Floor WW. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice 800 WW!
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Congrats on 8th Floor WW. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice 800 WW!
Congrats on 800 days of solid quit!!
My last couple cave dreams have been just like yours. It bothers me, too.
Also, born and raised in Eagle country, so I get it. Love the Santa analogy!
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Congrats on 8th Floor WW. Proud to be quit with you!
Nice 800 WW!
Congrats on 800 days of solid quit!!
My last couple cave dreams have been just like yours. It bothers me, too.
Also, born and raised in Eagle country, so I get it. Love the Santa analogy!
Well done on 8th floor WW!
Embrace the dreams...
Like we used to embrace the Suck!
It will suck until it doesn't.
I think addiction will always suck!
I hope the truth of addiction doesn't vanish.
I hope it doesn't just go away.
I'm afraid if it does.....
I may wake up with a day 1.
Truth sets us free ODAAT.
I quit with you today.
Rawls 1212
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Day 781
I had one weird cave dream last night.
I was out the night before drinking with friends. I woke up and posted roll as usual. Later that day someone told me that I took a couple of puffs from a cigarette the night before. I didnÂ’t remember it at all. I was shocked that I did that. I wondered if I needed to count it as a cave since I didnÂ’t remember it. I went back and forth on what I would do since I lied on roll. If I tell others then I would be banned from KTC. Even if I wasnÂ’t banned no way I could start over on day 1 again. Should I just pretend it didnÂ’t happen?
I have been having lots of dreams lately about caving and still posting roll like nothing happened. I usually enjoy vivid dreams but these caving ones I have been lately are really starting to mess with my psyche.
man those are the type that can get to you,
but from one standpoint, to me this is more than just the using. You have that under control. This is speaking more towards the other parts of you, the honesty, integrity.....and the memories of the past are trying to edge their way back in via this path....
keep strong and talking, and you will get these dreams under control too.
(and of course since I have shaken your hand, I could have just said....well you are weird....lol....but that would have been too easy....(takes one to know one)). roflmao
Congrats on 800 days Mr. White!
I'm over 900 days and I still have cave dreams. I don't think I've ever dreamed about posting roll. Kind of easy to figure out what my brain really wants. :P
ODAAT and Go Eagles!
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Congrats on 800 WW! A cave dream jumbled with roll posting dilemma is not uncommon. I have had several and they are very unsettling.
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Anyone seen Hundy?
I heard walterwhite ate him.
That's right, walter ate hundy.
congratulations!
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Today I celebrate 900 days of freedom. How cool is that? Never would I have imagined being able to finally break free from my addiction. Being quit is one of the best things that I have every experienced in my life. For the longest time I wanted to be quit but I kept failing over and over. Probably just like many of youÂ…My addiction started in high school. I thought I was cool and I could stop at any time. As the years (20+) went on and I got married and having kids I would try to quit. It would last a little while but then I would always break down and buy a tin. It finally hit me after my last failure that I was an addict and that I needed help. Thankfully I found KTC and they showed me the way to freedom.
This place will save your lifeÂ…if you allow it. You have to buy into it 100%. You canÂ’t half ass it. There are no excuses. You are either quit or you are not. There is no gray area. People that fail always blames others for their mistakes. People that take ownership in their life are successful. IÂ’m not going to lieÂ…this will be one of the hardest things you will do in your life. But if you quit one day at a timeÂ…anything is possible.
P.S....A big thank you to all the people that have helped me along the way! I wouldn't be quit without you...I'm forever grateful.
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Today I celebrate 900 days of freedom. How cool is that? Never would I have imagined being able to finally break free from my addiction. Being quit is one of the best things that I have every experienced in my life. For the longest time I wanted to be quit but I kept failing over and over. Probably just like many of youÂ…My addiction started in high school. I thought I was cool and I could stop at any time. As the years (20+) went on and I got married and having kids I would try to quit. It would last a little while but then I would always break down and buy a tin. It finally hit me after my last failure that I was an addict and that I needed help. Thankfully I found KTC and they showed me the way to freedom.
This place will save your lifeÂ…if you allow it. You have to buy into it 100%. You canÂ’t half ass it. There are no excuses. You are either quit or you are not. There is no gray area. People that fail always blames others for their mistakes. People that take ownership in their life are successful. IÂ’m not going to lieÂ…this will be one of the hardest things you will do in your life. But if you quit one day at a timeÂ…anything is possible.
P.S....A big thank you to all the people that have helped me along the way! I wouldn't be quit without you...I'm forever grateful.
Late grants pard and great message for the newbies.
It can be done.. Cause it is being done.
ODAAT..
Rawls 1315
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One thousand. It has a surreal quality to it all its own in the realm of numbers. What's in 1000? In dollars it's a tidy sum and would make for a marvelous day somewhere or a nice gift to oneself or others. In M&M's it's not a small bowl and would best be savored over days and not a single sitting. In feet it would wind you for certain in a sprint or kill you for certain in a fall.
In days though...in days it's more than two years. It's 33 1/3 months. It's just shy of 143 weeks.
It's support given and received. It's witnessing countless failures but also incredible victories.
It's freedom from the chains of addiction, earned ODAAT.
Thanks for paying it forward WW.
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Day 1002
I’m really happy. My life is really awesome. I couldn’t ask for a better wife and kids. There are many times throughout my day that I get this giddy feeling. I walked around with a smile on my face. This wasn’t always the case but something changed in my life that made it all possible. I quit.
My wife and kids used to me called the grinch. I used to ninja dip and I wanted to be by myself. I would rather be by myself instead of being with my family. I use to lose my temper when I couldn’t get my fix. I was defensive with how I was acting. I would have anxiety about wanting to quit before I got cancer. I would worry about telling my wife and kids.
It is really crazy how much time and energy I put into my addiction. How negatively it affected me and my loved ones. I’m ashamed at all the times I put up of fight to stay home to do nothing but dip instead of going out and doing something fun. Maybe that is why I’m so happy…I’m actually living my life. I’m exploring this world with my family without worrying about my next fix. It is so much better to live in the moment.
All of this wouldn’t have been possible without KTC and the hundreds of people that took the time to help me along the way. Without you showing me how to quit I wouldn’t be quit today. Thank you. I’m so happy to call you all my friends.
I thank you for this post WW. You were able to consolidate my "70 quit days of thoughts" into just a few sentences. Our stupid addiction(s) should infuriate us for ALL that it took from our lives AND our loved one's lives. Tis a new day, a day to be free and live free. Your words strengthened me and I happily quit with you today!
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Day 1002
I’m really happy. My life is really awesome. I couldn’t ask for a better wife and kids. There are many times throughout my day that I get this giddy feeling. I walked around with a smile on my face. This wasn’t always the case but something changed in my life that made it all possible. I quit.
My wife and kids used to me called the grinch. I used to ninja dip and I wanted to be by myself. I would rather be by myself instead of being with my family. I use to lose my temper when I couldn’t get my fix. I was defensive with how I was acting. I would have anxiety about wanting to quit before I got cancer. I would worry about telling my wife and kids.
It is really crazy how much time and energy I put into my addiction. How negatively it affected me and my loved ones. I’m ashamed at all the times I put up of fight to stay home to do nothing but dip instead of going out and doing something fun. Maybe that is why I’m so happy…I’m actually living my life. I’m exploring this world with my family without worrying about my next fix. It is so much better to live in the moment.
All of this wouldn’t have been possible without KTC and the hundreds of people that took the time to help me along the way. Without you showing me how to quit I wouldn’t be quit today. Thank you. I’m so happy to call you all my friends.
I thank you for this post WW. You were able to consolidate my "70 quit days of thoughts" into just a few sentences. Our stupid addiction(s) should infuriate us for ALL that it took from our lives AND our loved one's lives. Tis a new day, a day to be free and live free. Your words strengthened me and I happily quit with you today!
Long Live Walter White!