KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Camus on July 08, 2015, 02:30:00 PM
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First off, I will give a little background about my quit. I've been aware of this site for years and would come browse quite often during one of my many feeble attempts to quit dipping. I dipped a can a day for 7 years and never really got to the point where I took quitting seriously. I always told my wife I would quit, then pretend I truly was quit until she caught me again, then pretend to quit again, etc. Finally, I have decided I want to be able to live freely without being controlled by dip. I want to enjoy my wife and 10 month old daughter without constantly thinking about when I will get my next fix until I eventually get cancer and die.
Well, July 2 was my quit day, and I managed 4 days without dip. Then I bought a can yesterday, had a dip, then threw it away. It was about then I realized I needed some sort of community to help talk me down during times like that. Of course, said community has been staring me in the face for years with this site. Even though I've had an account for a few months now, I am just now officially climbing on board. I wish I would have done this a few days ago when I felt miserable and angry but I guess the fact remains I will continually need support and I am finally taking the necessary steps to be free from the stuff.
So here I am ready to kick this bullshit habit to the curb. Nice to meet you guys.
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Welcome Camus,
Jump into your month and post a day 1.
My suggestions:
Drink lots of water
Be honest to your wife and family about what is going on
Exchange numbers with your group mates
Read, read, read and read a lot of the good stuff posted here
Take what you need and leave the rest
Again, welcome!
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Hey thanks for the tips. You bring up a good point that I probably should have mentioned in my original post. I finally came clean to my wife about everything and admitted that I had never been clean longer than a couple days. She was irritated for obvious reasons but she is supportive. I also met with my doctor and talked to him about it. These are couple of the steps I felt were important and helped me come to terms with my addiction and my true commitment to finally quitting. Now I just have to summon the courage to go see the dentist..
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Hey thanks for the tips. You bring up a good point that I probably should have mentioned in my original post. I finally came clean to my wife about everything and admitted that I had never been clean longer than a couple days. She was irritated for obvious reasons but she is supportive. I also met with my doctor and talked to him about it. These are couple of the steps I felt were important and helped me come to terms with my addiction and my true commitment to finally quitting. Now I just have to summon the courage to go see the dentist..
They are all important steps in getting through this. The shit this crap does to us is amazing.
Stay strong and keep at it. It is painful at times but once you get a taste of being free from the can you'll want to kick yourself for not trying sooner.
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Yesterday you should have posted a day 1. Today you should have posted a day 2.
The site is about accountability and brotherhood. That all starts with posting roll. Go to Per Hof October 15 Quit Group. Find roll and put your name and days quit on there. Need help. PM me.
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It's damn late to be posting your promise. We post roll as a promise each and every day. Make your promise early, right after you wake up.
Here is your quit group: topic/11203031/14/?x=90#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11203031/14/?x=90#new)
Instructions for posting roll:
1. Quote the LATEST roll post.
2. Left click the bottom box.
3. Ctrl + A
4. Ctrl + X
5. Left click in the top box.
6. Ctrl +V
7. Add your name and number of days to the BOTTOM of the Bad-Ass Quitters section.
1. Be sure to visit the WELCOME CENTER (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) for what you need to know.
2. Stop by Introductions (http://forum.kiallthecan.org/index.php?showforum=25) and tell us something about yourself.
3. Knowing what to expect is found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp).
4. Print this Contract to give up... (http://www.killthecan.org/facts-figures/contract-to-give-up/); put it in your wallet and commit to signing it before you can take another dip.
5. Read about Tom and Jenny Kern (http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/history.htm) , It will be a tough read, but do it. Start from the beginning
6. Unsure how to Post Roll? Click here -- How to post roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50) want to see Roll? Click here-- Roll Post Video (https://youtu.be/rBoCAiiDNyg).
7. For inspiration stop by Words of Wisdom (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=41), HOF Speeches (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=9), and the Hall of Legends (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=65)
8. Here are some Suggested Site Settings (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/10204518/1/?x=90#new) for KTC.
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You mention "commitment" and "community" repeatedly, yet... you haven't posted roll with your quit brothers and sisters. Get your mind right and let's get this going.
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Come join our Quit group! Post roll every morning. Great bunch of guys who will be able to help you down this road. Just like so many have already helped me.
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It's damn late to be posting your promise. We post roll as a promise each and every day. Make your promise early, right after you wake up.
Here is your quit group: topic/11203031/14/?x=90#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11203031/14/?x=90#new)
Instructions for posting roll:
1. Quote the LATEST roll post.
2. Left click the bottom box.
3. Ctrl + A
4. Ctrl + X
5. Left click in the top box.
6. Ctrl +V
7. Add your name and number of days to the BOTTOM of the Bad-Ass Quitters section.
1. Be sure to visit the WELCOME CENTER (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) for what you need to know.
2. Stop by Introductions (http://forum.kiallthecan.org/index.php?showforum=25) and tell us something about yourself.
3. Knowing what to expect is found here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp) and here (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp).
4. Print this Contract to give up... (http://www.killthecan.org/facts-figures/contract-to-give-up/); put it in your wallet and commit to signing it before you can take another dip.
5. Read about Tom and Jenny Kern (http://www.caringbridge.org/mn/tomkern/history.htm) , It will be a tough read, but do it. Start from the beginning
6. Unsure how to Post Roll? Click here -- How to post roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50) want to see Roll? Click here-- Roll Post Video (https://youtu.be/rBoCAiiDNyg).
7. For inspiration stop by Words of Wisdom (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=41), HOF Speeches (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=9), and the Hall of Legends (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=65)
8. Here are some Suggested Site Settings (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/10204518/1/?x=90#new) for KTC.
^^^^^ all right there, jump in, because there isn't a dayafter you quit that you wish you hadn't.
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So this "finally getting involved" thing you mentioned - when is that happening? Schaef linked you to your group, and that's the place to start getting involved! Let's go dude, living life free of being a slave awaits!
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Sorry guys I got things going now finally. Thanks for sounding like you were all going to kick my ass if I didn't post roll
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Think of it as a good cop/bad cop thing, except that there aren't any good cops. B-{|
Look at it this way: this site does not exist for us to hear each others' sob stories. It exists for us to hold ourselves and each other accountable. It's free, and it has 2 major rules: no nic of any form, and post roll every day before noon.
Nobody is telling you that you're not allowed to quit if you don't post roll. We're just telling you that you shouldn't be on this site if you don't intend to follow its rules. Once you start abiding, you'll find more support than you thought possible. Most of the guys and gals are actually pretty cool, but won't let you into their circle until you commit. So don't fight it; just do it.
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When I was lurking and considering trying to make a comeback to the site after I decided to quit after caving last year, King Nothing sent me this, my original intro, and told me to think about it for a while. It didn't take long for me to decide to join up again, but there was something about my former introduction that has been bothering me. It is interesting to read what I wrote then, knowing what I know now after caving like an idiot. Instead of just re-writing it, I would just like to point out some things:
1. It is true that I was aware of this site for a very long time before I even made an account, so that checks out.
2. It is true that I was a lying, deceptive, and selfish addict. That is also true. (except my daughter is a year and a half now)
3. "Finally, I have decided I want to be able to live freely without being controlled by dip.". I'm calling B.S on myself here. While I might have indeed felt the urge to quit that was stronger than in times past, eventually my weak attitude towards quitting showed when I caved for no significant reason at all. I wasn't truly ready to give up nicotine beyond a few weeks.. which leads me to:
4. " It was about then I realized I needed some sort of community to help talk me down during times like that. Of course, said community has been staring me in the face for years with this site. Even though I've had an account for a few months now, I am just now officially climbing on board. I wish I would have done this a few days ago when I felt miserable and angry but I guess the fact remains I will continually need support and I am finally taking the necessary steps to be free from the stuff."
This is EXACTLY what I did NOT end up doing. I clearly was aware of what it would take to get dip out of my life, I just wasn't man enough to follow through with what I said. I might have meant those words when I wrote them, but in actuality I never officially climbed on board. So when i came back to right the ship yesterday, this is what I did immediately after I answered my three questions. I've met more fellow KTC members in the last 24 hours than I did in my entire time before.
The point of all this? I realized that I had to get things right in my head before I was truly ready to quit and approach it with the quitters mentality that is preached around these parts. When this finally happened the real value of this website became apparent to me. I have a long way to go yet, but I am certain this time I will not cave. If anybody reads this down the road, let this be a warning to you. If you do not take the advice of the vets here, you are almost certain to fail. You ABSOLUTELY cannot half-ass your way through this.
Also, I didn't want to allow this old introduction full of lies to speak for who I am as a quitter now.
-
When I was lurking and considering trying to make a comeback to the site after I decided to quit after caving last year, King Nothing sent me this, my original intro, and told me to think about it for a while. It didn't take long for me to decide to join up again, but there was something about my former introduction that has been bothering me. It is interesting to read what I wrote then, knowing what I know now after caving like an idiot. Instead of just re-writing it, I would just like to point out some things:
1. It is true that I was aware of this site for a very long time before I even made an account, so that checks out.
2. It is true that I was a lying, deceptive, and selfish addict. That is also true. (except my daughter is a year and a half now)
3. "Finally, I have decided I want to be able to live freely without being controlled by dip.". I'm calling B.S on myself here. While I might have indeed felt the urge to quit that was stronger than in times past, eventually my weak attitude towards quitting showed when I caved for no significant reason at all. I wasn't truly ready to give up nicotine beyond a few weeks.. which leads me to:
4. " It was about then I realized I needed some sort of community to help talk me down during times like that. Of course, said community has been staring me in the face for years with this site. Even though I've had an account for a few months now, I am just now officially climbing on board. I wish I would have done this a few days ago when I felt miserable and angry but I guess the fact remains I will continually need support and I am finally taking the necessary steps to be free from the stuff."
This is EXACTLY what I did NOT end up doing. I clearly was aware of what it would take to get dip out of my life, I just wasn't man enough to follow through with what I said. I might have meant those words when I wrote them, but in actuality I never officially climbed on board. So when i came back to right the ship yesterday, this is what I did immediately after I answered my three questions. I've met more fellow KTC members in the last 24 hours than I did in my entire time before.
5. "So here I am ready to kick this bullshit habit to the curb. Nice to meet you guys."
This one makes me laugh for a couple reasons. First, I very rarely swear, but there is something about this site that makes me want to so it shows up randomly. I must have been feeling real gung ho at the moment. Second, I didn't really meet anybody so I don't have any clue what that last part is even supposed to mean.
The point of all this? I realized that I had to get things right in my head before I was truly ready to quit and approach it with the quitters mentality that is preached around these parts. When this finally happened the real value of this website became apparent to me. I have a long way to go yet, but I am certain this time I will not cave. If anybody reads this down the road, let this be a warning to you. If you do not take the advice of the vets here, you are almost certain to fail. You ABSOLUTELY cannot half-ass your way through this.
Also, I didn't want to allow this old introduction full of lies to speak for who I am as a quitter now.
So you came in here with a lousy attitude, posted a bullshit introduction and then caved at the drop of a hat.
Why should we believe your new/corrected introduction? Who are you as a quitter now Camus? You really have to hate nicotine with all your heart and treat your promise to your brothers and yourself as a solemn vow if you are going to succeed. Then build the tools and connections. Don't over-think this Camus! - the nic bitch salivates when quitters use their intellect to examine their quits.
-
When I was lurking and considering trying to make a comeback to the site after I decided to quit after caving last year, King Nothing sent me this, my original intro, and told me to think about it for a while. It didn't take long for me to decide to join up again, but there was something about my former introduction that has been bothering me. It is interesting to read what I wrote then, knowing what I know now after caving like an idiot. Instead of just re-writing it, I would just like to point out some things:
1. It is true that I was aware of this site for a very long time before I even made an account, so that checks out.
2. It is true that I was a lying, deceptive, and selfish addict. That is also true. (except my daughter is a year and a half now)
3. "Finally, I have decided I want to be able to live freely without being controlled by dip.". I'm calling B.S on myself here. While I might have indeed felt the urge to quit that was stronger than in times past, eventually my weak attitude towards quitting showed when I caved for no significant reason at all. I wasn't truly ready to give up nicotine beyond a few weeks.. which leads me to:
4. " It was about then I realized I needed some sort of community to help talk me down during times like that. Of course, said community has been staring me in the face for years with this site. Even though I've had an account for a few months now, I am just now officially climbing on board. I wish I would have done this a few days ago when I felt miserable and angry but I guess the fact remains I will continually need support and I am finally taking the necessary steps to be free from the stuff."
This is EXACTLY what I did NOT end up doing. I clearly was aware of what it would take to get dip out of my life, I just wasn't man enough to follow through with what I said. I might have meant those words when I wrote them, but in actuality I never officially climbed on board. So when i came back to right the ship yesterday, this is what I did immediately after I answered my three questions. I've met more fellow KTC members in the last 24 hours than I did in my entire time before.
5. "So here I am ready to kick this bullshit habit to the curb. Nice to meet you guys."
This one makes me laugh for a couple reasons. First, I very rarely swear, but there is something about this site that makes me want to so it shows up randomly. I must have been feeling real gung ho at the moment. Second, I didn't really meet anybody so I don't have any clue what that last part is even supposed to mean.
The point of all this? I realized that I had to get things right in my head before I was truly ready to quit and approach it with the quitters mentality that is preached around these parts. When this finally happened the real value of this website became apparent to me. I have a long way to go yet, but I am certain this time I will not cave. If anybody reads this down the road, let this be a warning to you. If you do not take the advice of the vets here, you are almost certain to fail. You ABSOLUTELY cannot half-ass your way through this.
Also, I didn't want to allow this old introduction full of lies to speak for who I am as a quitter now.
So you came in here with a lousy attitude, posted a bullshit introduction and then caved at the drop of a hat.
Why should we believe your new/corrected introduction? Who are you as a quitter now Camus? You really have to hate nicotine with all your heart and treat your promise to your brothers and yourself as a solemn vow if you are going to succeed. Then build the tools and connections. Don't over-think this Camus! - the nic bitch salivates when quitters use their intellect to examine their quits.
I have already addressed it in my three answers and have made things right with my former group. This reflection on my previous intro was almost entirely for my own benefit, as it was suggested by someone in my group.
I figured when I mentioned that I got my head right and adopted the correct mentality that it would be understood who I am now as a quitter. Especially since I have already made obvious steps to change from last time (i.e making connections). I'm not sure exactly if you were trying to be encouraging or give me a hard time, but hopefully that clears some things up for you
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I suggest you continue writing in here.
There is nothing more cathartic than writing down your random thoughts with the intent of excising them.
There is also nothing more rewarding than the idea that your random thoughts might help someone else.
It doesn't have to be every single day, but every other, or three times a week will really do you a lot of good. If I were you, I would, at least to begin with, write in here every day.
WUPP every day first thing, then when you ease down in the evenings before bed, drop in to check on your brothers, then do a little journaling.
Stay strong brother! I quit with you!!
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When I was lurking and considering trying to make a comeback to the site after I decided to quit after caving last year, King Nothing sent me this, my original intro, and told me to think about it for a while. It didn't take long for me to decide to join up again, but there was something about my former introduction that has been bothering me. It is interesting to read what I wrote then, knowing what I know now after caving like an idiot. Instead of just re-writing it, I would just like to point out some things:
1. It is true that I was aware of this site for a very long time before I even made an account, so that checks out.
2. It is true that I was a lying, deceptive, and selfish addict. That is also true. (except my daughter is a year and a half now)
3. "Finally, I have decided I want to be able to live freely without being controlled by dip.". I'm calling B.S on myself here. While I might have indeed felt the urge to quit that was stronger than in times past, eventually my weak attitude towards quitting showed when I caved for no significant reason at all. I wasn't truly ready to give up nicotine beyond a few weeks.. which leads me to:
4. " It was about then I realized I needed some sort of community to help talk me down during times like that. Of course, said community has been staring me in the face for years with this site. Even though I've had an account for a few months now, I am just now officially climbing on board. I wish I would have done this a few days ago when I felt miserable and angry but I guess the fact remains I will continually need support and I am finally taking the necessary steps to be free from the stuff."
This is EXACTLY what I did NOT end up doing. I clearly was aware of what it would take to get dip out of my life, I just wasn't man enough to follow through with what I said. I might have meant those words when I wrote them, but in actuality I never officially climbed on board. So when i came back to right the ship yesterday, this is what I did immediately after I answered my three questions. I've met more fellow KTC members in the last 24 hours than I did in my entire time before.
5. "So here I am ready to kick this bullshit habit to the curb. Nice to meet you guys."
This one makes me laugh for a couple reasons. First, I very rarely swear, but there is something about this site that makes me want to so it shows up randomly. I must have been feeling real gung ho at the moment. Second, I didn't really meet anybody so I don't have any clue what that last part is even supposed to mean.
The point of all this? I realized that I had to get things right in my head before I was truly ready to quit and approach it with the quitters mentality that is preached around these parts. When this finally happened the real value of this website became apparent to me. I have a long way to go yet, but I am certain this time I will not cave. If anybody reads this down the road, let this be a warning to you. If you do not take the advice of the vets here, you are almost certain to fail. You ABSOLUTELY cannot half-ass your way through this.
Also, I didn't want to allow this old introduction full of lies to speak for who I am as a quitter now.
So you came in here with a lousy attitude, posted a bullshit introduction and then caved at the drop of a hat.
Why should we believe your new/corrected introduction? Who are you as a quitter now Camus? You really have to hate nicotine with all your heart and treat your promise to your brothers and yourself as a solemn vow if you are going to succeed. Then build the tools and connections. Don't over-think this Camus! - the nic bitch salivates when quitters use their intellect to examine their quits.
I have already addressed it in my three answers and have made things right with my former group. This reflection on my previous intro was almost entirely for my own benefit, as it was suggested by someone in my group.
I figured when I mentioned that I got my head right and adopted the correct mentality that it would be understood who I am now as a quitter. Especially since I have already made obvious steps to change from last time (i.e making connections). I'm not sure exactly if you were trying to be encouraging or give me a hard time, but hopefully that clears some things up for you
Check your PM Camus. My only goal is to help you stay quit and I sensed addict speak in your post.
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Couple of good things happened today. First, I had a brief, wonderful moment where I felt free from dip. I had no cravings, I didn't think about it, no noticeable physical symptoms.. I felt free at last. Of course, it did not last long. But it was enough to really get me excited about where i am in this quit. Constantly fighting the addiction and living in a perpetual state of suck really wears on you after a while. But that first breath of fresh air is really invigorating. I know my efforts are paying off and I want to keep fighting until I feel that way all the time.
Secondly, for this first time I unconsciously and automatically thought of dip as being nasty and undesirable. When the quit is first going on, the cravings make you think back to the taste, feeling, etc of dip. You have to force yourself to remember that you didn't really like it at all and you are being deceived by the nic whore. But today I had a craving and my mind wandered a little to the idea of what it what actually be like to have a dip in. Without even thinking about it my brain automatically registered that it was no good all around. And that was that.. craving over. I almost couldn't believe it. I know there will be many more battles to come and I have to stay on guard, but I'm just sick of feeling like crap and thinking generally negative things about how I feel, quitting in general, etc. It was good to feel a taste of victory today.
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Couple of good things happened today. First, I had a brief, wonderful moment where I felt free from dip. I had no cravings, I didn't think about it, no noticeable physical symptoms.. I felt free at last. Of course, it did not last long. But it was enough to really get me excited about where i am in this quit. Constantly fighting the addiction and living in a perpetual state of suck really wears on you after a while. But that first breath of fresh air is really invigorating. I know my efforts are paying off and I want to keep fighting until I feel that way all the time.
Secondly, for this first time I unconsciously and automatically thought of dip as being nasty and undesirable. When the quit is first going on, the cravings make you think back to the taste, feeling, etc of dip. You have to force yourself to remember that you didn't really like it at all and you are being deceived by the nic whore. But today I had a craving and my mind wandered a little to the idea of what it what actually be like to have a dip in. Without even thinking about it my brain automatically registered that it was no good all around. And that was that.. craving over. I almost couldn't believe it. I know there will be many more battles to come and I have to stay on guard, but I'm just sick of feeling like crap and thinking generally negative things about how I feel, quitting in general, etc. It was good to feel a taste of victory today.
You are headed in the right direction my friend. This new trajectory is vastly different than the posting and ghosting with the FUN Bags. This is YOUR quit and YOU have to protect with everything you've got. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself for grabbing yourself by the berries and getting after this thing. Keep it up.
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Couple of good things happened today. First, I had a brief, wonderful moment where I felt free from dip. I had no cravings, I didn't think about it, no noticeable physical symptoms.. I felt free at last. Of course, it did not last long. But it was enough to really get me excited about where i am in this quit. Constantly fighting the addiction and living in a perpetual state of suck really wears on you after a while. But that first breath of fresh air is really invigorating. I know my efforts are paying off and I want to keep fighting until I feel that way all the time.
Secondly, for this first time I unconsciously and automatically thought of dip as being nasty and undesirable. When the quit is first going on, the cravings make you think back to the taste, feeling, etc of dip. You have to force yourself to remember that you didn't really like it at all and you are being deceived by the nic whore. But today I had a craving and my mind wandered a little to the idea of what it what actually be like to have a dip in. Without even thinking about it my brain automatically registered that it was no good all around. And that was that.. craving over. I almost couldn't believe it. I know there will be many more battles to come and I have to stay on guard, but I'm just sick of feeling like crap and thinking generally negative things about how I feel, quitting in general, etc. It was good to feel a taste of victory today.
You are headed in the right direction my friend. This new trajectory is vastly different than the posting and ghosting with the FUN Bags. This is YOUR quit and YOU have to protect with everything you've got. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself for grabbing yourself by the berries and getting after this thing. Keep it up.
We'll fight the up-and-down bullshit together, Camus. One day at a time, brother. Proud to quit with you today.
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Couple of good things happened today. First, I had a brief, wonderful moment where I felt free from dip. I had no cravings, I didn't think about it, no noticeable physical symptoms.. I felt free at last. Of course, it did not last long. But it was enough to really get me excited about where i am in this quit. Constantly fighting the addiction and living in a perpetual state of suck really wears on you after a while. But that first breath of fresh air is really invigorating. I know my efforts are paying off and I want to keep fighting until I feel that way all the time.
Secondly, for this first time I unconsciously and automatically thought of dip as being nasty and undesirable. When the quit is first going on, the cravings make you think back to the taste, feeling, etc of dip. You have to force yourself to remember that you didn't really like it at all and you are being deceived by the nic whore. But today I had a craving and my mind wandered a little to the idea of what it what actually be like to have a dip in. Without even thinking about it my brain automatically registered that it was no good all around. And that was that.. craving over. I almost couldn't believe it. I know there will be many more battles to come and I have to stay on guard, but I'm just sick of feeling like crap and thinking generally negative things about how I feel, quitting in general, etc. It was good to feel a taste of victory today.
You are headed in the right direction my friend. This new trajectory is vastly different than the posting and ghosting with the FUN Bags. This is YOUR quit and YOU have to protect with everything you've got. I'm proud of you and you should be proud of yourself for grabbing yourself by the berries and getting after this thing. Keep it up.
We'll fight the up-and-down bullshit together, Camus. One day at a time, brother. Proud to quit with you today.
Camus,
This is real progress! It was great to read you say "for this first time I unconsciously and automatically thought of dip as being nasty and undesirable."!
The nic bitch will be working overtime to get you to go back to romanticizing how delightful dip is - remember what you wrote and how you felt yesterday. keep fighting - life gets so much better!
Quit with you EDD. CJ
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Awesome job hitting the 3rd floor Jon. Proud to quit with you everyday brother. Congrats on 300!!!
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Awesome job hitting the 3rd floor Jon. Proud to quit with you everyday brother. Congrats on 300!!!
Congrats on the 3rd floor!
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Congrats on hitting your 2 year mark!
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Congratulations on hitting 2 years!