KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Hutch18 on September 30, 2018, 01:24:23 PM
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Hutch18 - day 83 Not sure if my first intro came over to this site, but I have been looking and cannot find it. So I will start again.
This introduction is not about you or your quit, it's not even about my quit. It's about quitting and the importance of diving head first into this quit 83 days ago. I was like many of you and searching for a way to quit. Found this site and dam glad I did. When i was looking 83 days ago, I wanted an easy way, but not the easiest way (death). I wanted a pill or a patch or something to help me quit. I tried in 34 years to quit multiple times. Told my wife of 21 years I quit. Told my 3 boys I quit. Did I? Hell no, I was am an addict, i just tried to hide it. I thought i was the best Ninja dipper ever.
July 10th found this site or it found me. Joined some chat, while i was sitting there reading others posts with my nicotine gum in my lip. Guy name Capital70 said hello asked about my quit. I mentioned the gum and he said "you ain't quit, your just changing the delivery system". I was like BS, I am quit. Hell my company gave me this gum and told me this would help. (help me stay addicted). Then Cap or another person said "stop being a pussy and quit cold turkey". I was honestly afraid to stop cold turkey, maybe not a pussy but still afraid. Either way what they said resonated with me and I quit cold turkey.
Today: past 83 days have sucked, but I am still quit. I have some medical BS going on that the dip hid or masked, but it's worth it. I put this crap in my system for 34 years, ain't just going to go away in a few months. I look forward to 100 day quit, but that's just the beginning. I am an addict so DAILY I must quit.
Cheers to your quit, proud to be quit with you.
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That Nic bitch is tricky. Day 84 and cleaning up the garage and what do I find? A bag of disposed of cans of Skoal Longcut Wintergreen, probably 12 of them. Just waiting to tempt me. I'll be honest it didn't smell horrible, but I didn't open any of them either cause i knew as an addict I would have probably wanted to "sneak" one in just to see what happened. Hey Nic Bitch, 'Butt' kiss it. I know you're there, but not this time. Those can's went promptly into the trash.
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That Nic bitch is tricky. Day 84 and cleaning up the garage and what do I find? A bag of disposed of cans of Skoal Longcut Wintergreen, probably 12 of them. Just waiting to tempt me. I'll be honest it didn't smell horrible, but I didn't open any of them either cause i knew as an addict I would have probably wanted to "sneak" one in just to see what happened. Hey Nic Bitch, 'Butt' kiss it. I know you're there, but not this time. Those can's went promptly into the trash.
Ohhhh my previous poison of choice as well. I'd be happy to send you 12 shotgun shells if needed ... sometimes nic just needs to be taught a firm lesson :)
Stay strong Hutch, HOF is around the corner! I proudly quit with you today.
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That Nic Bitch is all over me again tonight too. Playing golf in the morning and guess what i found in my golf shoes. Yup a empty can of Skoal Longcut Wintergreen. I thought DAMN i hid this crap everywhere, I am the KING of Ninja dipping! My next thought was to take a picture and send it to a few fellow quitters. So here I am a grown ass man, sending a picture of an empty can of Skoal to DQ, Broccoli-sauras and Capital70 so they can help keep me accountable. Then not 2 minutes later Broccoli calls me and talks me out of what my brain was trying to get me to do. Then DQ and CAP text me back and tell me to flush it and throw it away. I did just that and DQ encouraged me to post this episode on my intro. He also makes a valid point and reconfirms how valuable this site is. 85 days ago i would have caved, no doubt about it. But this site and the fellow brothers i have met or made a connection with makes a huge difference. I know someone has my back. I know someone has been through what I am going through. I also Broccoli said he would kick my ass if I caved and I believe him.
So stop telling yourself you can do this alone, because you can't! Join the damn site, get plugged in and help yourself, hell your quit might just help someone else too.
Cheers! Hutch18 an addict for life, but I quit again today!
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My heart skipped a beat when I opened that picture! I see that shit every time I go into a gas station, but to see it in a text from you was almost too much! You are a strong ass quitter! Keep it up!
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That Nic Bitch is all over me again tonight too. Playing golf in the morning and guess what i found in my golf shoes. Yup a empty can of Skoal Longcut Wintergreen. I thought DAMN i hid this crap everywhere, I am the KING of Ninja dipping! My next thought was to take a picture and send it to a few fellow quitters. So here I am a grown ass man, sending a picture of an empty can of Skoal to DQ, Broccoli-sauras and Capital70 so they can help keep me accountable. Then not 2 minutes later Broccoli calls me and talks me out of what my brain was trying to get me to do. Then DQ and CAP text me back and tell me to flush it and throw it away. I did just that and DQ encouraged me to post this episode on my intro. He also makes a valid point and reconfirms how valuable this site is. 85 days ago i would have caved, no doubt about it. But this site and the fellow brothers i have met or made a connection with makes a huge difference. I know someone has my back. I know someone has been through what I am going through. I also Broccoli said he would kick my ass if I caved and I believe him.
So stop telling yourself you can do this alone, because you can't! Join the damn site, get plugged in and help yourself, hell your quit might just help someone else too.
Cheers! Hutch18 an addict for life, but I quit again today!
I remember for maybe almost 6 months or so how would find them occasionally. In my winter coat, in a random bag, etc. It really does kinda hit hard when you encounter it. I'm glad you were able to fight it off and not allow a moment of weakness ruin something great in your life. Keep strong brother. We're all struggling and we're all in it one day at a time!
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That Nic Bitch is all over me again tonight too. Playing golf in the morning and guess what i found in my golf shoes. Yup a empty can of Skoal Longcut Wintergreen. I thought DAMN i hid this crap everywhere, I am the KING of Ninja dipping! My next thought was to take a picture and send it to a few fellow quitters. So here I am a grown ass man, sending a picture of an empty can of Skoal to DQ, Broccoli-sauras and Capital70 so they can help keep me accountable. Then not 2 minutes later Broccoli calls me and talks me out of what my brain was trying to get me to do. Then DQ and CAP text me back and tell me to flush it and throw it away. I did just that and DQ encouraged me to post this episode on my intro. He also makes a valid point and reconfirms how valuable this site is. 85 days ago i would have caved, no doubt about it. But this site and the fellow brothers i have met or made a connection with makes a huge difference. I know someone has my back. I know someone has been through what I am going through. I also Broccoli said he would kick my ass if I caved and I believe him.
So stop telling yourself you can do this alone, because you can't! Join the damn site, get plugged in and help yourself, hell your quit might just help someone else too.
Cheers! Hutch18 an addict for life, but I quit again today!
I remember for maybe almost 6 months or so how would find them occasionally. In my winter coat, in a random bag, etc. It really does kinda hit hard when you encounter it. I'm glad you were able to fight it off and not allow a moment of weakness ruin something great in your life. Keep strong brother. We're all struggling and we're all in it one day at a time!
Nice victory my friend! Very nice! So what would have happened without KTC. Same thing that’s happened to us all numerous times, finger banging the bitch and promising yourself this is my last can some 2 years later. Odaat! Quit on! Loving the quit life
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I'd been hooked on the stuff for about the same amount of time when I found this place. If you knew me well enough to know I dipped you knew I was always trying to quit, unsuccessfully. A few years ago I even decided to quit trying to quit. Obviously I couldn't do it, I thought. After years of trying I found this place and thought what the hell, I don't see how it can help but what I'd been doing wasn't working so what did I have to lose. And to my surprise here I am....902 days Quit! Embrace this site and it's principles and it works. Post everyday, and get to know your fellow quitters. And before you know it, life without the weed will finally feel like the norm.
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Day 91 - cravings not around. But the smell of Wintergreen is a trigger I discovered, but it only last a few seconds, thankfully. I am feeling slightly better, but this Vitamin B deficency, paired with the normal quit tingling and jaw line tingling sucks balls. Not that I know what it's like to suck balls, but that would suck. The numbness in my hand and feet and legs are driving me insane some days. But I am still quit.
Keep Quit and Keep posting roll, it matters!
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Please tell me more about this sucking balls ::) just Kidding. Yeah the smell of wintergreen is a trigger for me too. Heck there isn't much that isn't or wasn't a trigger. Anything I haven't done in 208 days is a trigger because I guarantee you there isn't an area of my life that I didn't use nicotine while doing and that sometimes included sleeping. Keep hanging tough ODAAT
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Day 100 - not ready to write the HOF yet, but i am ready to quit again today! Day 100 hard to believe. If you would have told me 101 days ago i would make it i would have said no way. Why? Because 101 days ago I could quit whenever I wanted to. 101 days ago I choose death in a can. 101 days ago I didn't need anything from anyone. 101 Days ago I knew nothing about this site. 101 days ago i never met a guy with a Dinosaur nickname, who i met in person and actually enjoyed his company. 101 days ago, I didn't know about posting roll or the fact that thousands of men and women ninja dipped like me. But most importantly 101 days ago I didn't know i would have strangers care enough about my quit, to call, text, post, comment, encourage and threaten me if I caved. 101 days is nothing in terms of eternity, but it's significant to me, because I quit 1 day at a time (ODAAT) if just happens to total 100!
Keep Quit!
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Hutch18 - Congrats brother and mad props to you. Seeing brothers with more days under their belt is a great motivator. I quit with you today.
Day 100 - not ready to write the HOF yet, but i am ready to quit again today! Day 100 hard to believe. If you would have told me 101 days ago i would make it i would have said no way. Why? Because 101 days ago I could quit whenever I wanted to. 101 days ago I choose death in a can. 101 days ago I didn't need anything from anyone. 101 Days ago I knew nothing about this site. 101 days ago i never met a guy with a Dinosaur nickname, who i met in person and actually enjoyed his company. 101 days ago, I didn't know about posting roll or the fact that thousands of men and women ninja dipped like me. But most importantly 101 days ago I didn't know i would have strangers care enough about my quit, to call, text, post, comment, encourage and threaten me if I caved. 101 days is nothing in terms of eternity, but it's significant to me, because I quit 1 day at a time (ODAAT) if just happens to total 100!
Keep Quit!
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Love your attitude bro, and it was great meeting you a couple months ago. You're a hell of a quitter and an inspiration to many. Keep it up! IQWYT!
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Day 116 in the books. I have not written my HOF yet, not sure I am ready yet. The October group is full of a bunch of BAQ and a some really good dudes/people. I honestly would not have made it this far without them. As I update this, it's odd, I am going through a big ass crave. I don't want it, i know i don't need it, but for some strange reason i miss it. I think it's the nic bitch trying to lure me back. It would be very easy to do it. But I don't want it, i know i don't need it.
The strangest part of my quit is the fact i feel worse mentally and physically since I quit. I have yet to "feel" better. Either I was really screwed up before and the chew masked it or my chewing jacked me up and it's going to take more time to "feel" normal. Some days are better than others, but the fog doesn't seem to ever be to far away. The tingling comes and goes and the Acid reflux feels like my chest is on fire.
A gentlemen in my Friday morning Bible study said something that struck me this morning and that i need to remember everyday. "Jesus already won, He already has healed my body. I just have to remember it and believe it." I will be honest it's hard to remember and the prideful part of me doesn't want to. But it is true. I will not feel like this forever, this is just a passing moment in time. So for this short time, I will not let the Nicotine rule my life and my actions. I will not allow her to have an influence. Would it be easier, probably. But what would I have to sacrifice? One thing for sure would be my integrity. I promised to quit and DAM it, I am. Everyday, ODAAT
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You, my friend, are a rock! You accurately summed up a lot of my feelings below. We know this post HOF junk will pass, just gotta stay focused and humble. Thank you for posting this, it definitely strengthened my quit today. Here’s to the Rawktober group, we fight this nic B as one!
Come to think of it, we should probably threaten a night in Cleveland’s Neon for any potential cavers 🤔 #quitmotivation
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Hutch, you are a BAQ! Great post, brother!
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Let me introduce myself, I am Hutch18, not because I am 18 but because it is 2018 and I am not a creative person. So Hutch 18 it is! I am an Addict!
I have no idea how I found this website, but I am 100% glad I did.
I quit July 7th, 2018. Went to the chat room and texted with a few guys. Received encouragement, laughed at myself for being stupid and then Cap70 asked me if I went cold turkey, I said no. I was going to use the Nicotine replacement gum for a month. WTF quit Nicotine just to use Nicotine. That make no sense, but I am an addict, so it made sense to me at the time. Then Cap or someone else in the chat room called me a pussy for using the gum and that I hadn't quit at all, just changed the deliver system. At the time I was like dam you now I feel convicted. So 3 days later I quit cold turkey on July 10th, 2018. So whoever said that thanks. Otherwise I would still be "quitting" using Nicotine gum. Why? Because my employer will send it to me for free, to help me stop using smokeless tobacco.
There is nothing magical about this site. But it helps people like me to read, talk or text people who are going or have gone through the "suck". I used to think i was the only 47 year old man, who dipped for 34 years. I was the only ninja dipper who would pass up just about anything to get 1 more dip in. Or who would wake up and put a fatty in and skip breakfast and lunch, cause I just bought this can and it was almost gone. I was the only person who "reused" a dip for later replacement. Why? Because this crap is expensive and i like to recycle. BS! The real reason is because I am an addict and nicotine WAS my drug of choice.
As of right now it's day 29 and i feel like crap, but i will not CAVE. But if I do get that craving I will call, text or jump on the chat!
Hutch18 -
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Holy balls that is the best shit I have ever read! Today is almost over, but tomorrow I am quitting with you and I am honored to do so! Keep up the great work and text anytime!!!
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Hutch,
That was a spot on representation of the road weÂ’ve been down. Digits are in your inbox, call or text anytime. Quit on!
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good stuff....nicotine is one hell of a drug to quit. hope to quit with you starting tomorrow
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All kinda truth in here......
It will set you Free.
I quit with you today Hutch.
Rawls 1361
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Let me introduce myself, I am Hutch18, not because I am 18 but because it is 2018 and I am not a creative person. So Hutch 18 it is! I am an Addict!
I have no idea how I found this website, but I am 100% glad I did.
I quit July 7th, 2018. Went to the chat room and texted with a few guys. Received encouragement, laughed at myself for being stupid and then Cap70 asked me if I went cold turkey, I said no. I was going to use the Nicotine replacement gum for a month. WTF quit Nicotine just to use Nicotine. That make no sense, but I am an addict, so it made sense to me at the time. Then Cap or someone else in the chat room called me a pussy for using the gum and that I hadn't quit at all, just changed the deliver system. At the time I was like dam you now I feel convicted. So 3 days later I quit cold turkey on July 10th, 2018. So whoever said that thanks. Otherwise I would still be "quitting" using Nicotine gum. Why? Because my employer will send it to me for free, to help me stop using smokeless tobacco.
There is nothing magical about this site. But it helps people like me to read, talk or text people who are going or have gone through the "suck". I used to think i was the only 47 year old man, who dipped for 34 years. I was the only ninja dipper who would pass up just about anything to get 1 more dip in. Or who would wake up and put a fatty in and skip breakfast and lunch, cause I just bought this can and it was almost gone. I was the only person who "reused" a dip for later replacement. Why? Because this crap is expensive and i like to recycle. BS! The real reason is because I am an addict and nicotine WAS my drug of choice.
As of right now it's day 29 and i feel like crap, but i will not CAVE. But if I do get that craving I will call, text or jump on the chat!
Hutch18 -
Day 32 - I read about dip dream on the "what to expect" page. But never had one until last night. Let me tell you something, that shit is real! I actually thought I caved. I couldn't smell it or taste it, but I could see myself with a few buddies dipping around a campsite. I thought crap now i have to tell the guys on KTC and they are going to rip me. Thankfully I woke up from the nightmare and it wasn't true. I told my wife and then I texted a few guys on this site.
I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to quit. I am also thankful for this site and the great men i have encountered. I realize it's only day 32 and this fight is just started, but it gives me strength knowing that I do not QUIT alone.
I pray each of you have a wonderful Sunday and Rock this QUIT.
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Let me introduce myself, I am Hutch18, not because I am 18 but because it is 2018 and I am not a creative person. So Hutch 18 it is! I am an Addict!
I have no idea how I found this website, but I am 100% glad I did.
I quit July 7th, 2018. Went to the chat room and texted with a few guys. Received encouragement, laughed at myself for being stupid and then Cap70 asked me if I went cold turkey, I said no. I was going to use the Nicotine replacement gum for a month. WTF quit Nicotine just to use Nicotine. That make no sense, but I am an addict, so it made sense to me at the time. Then Cap or someone else in the chat room called me a pussy for using the gum and that I hadn't quit at all, just changed the deliver system. At the time I was like dam you now I feel convicted. So 3 days later I quit cold turkey on July 10th, 2018. So whoever said that thanks. Otherwise I would still be "quitting" using Nicotine gum. Why? Because my employer will send it to me for free, to help me stop using smokeless tobacco.
There is nothing magical about this site. But it helps people like me to read, talk or text people who are going or have gone through the "suck". I used to think i was the only 47 year old man, who dipped for 34 years. I was the only ninja dipper who would pass up just about anything to get 1 more dip in. Or who would wake up and put a fatty in and skip breakfast and lunch, cause I just bought this can and it was almost gone. I was the only person who "reused" a dip for later replacement. Why? Because this crap is expensive and i like to recycle. BS! The real reason is because I am an addict and nicotine WAS my drug of choice.
As of right now it's day 29 and i feel like crap, but i will not CAVE. But if I do get that craving I will call, text or jump on the chat!
Hutch18 -
Day 32 - I read about dip dream on the "what to expect" page. But never had one until last night. Let me tell you something, that shit is real! I actually thought I caved. I couldn't smell it or taste it, but I could see myself with a few buddies dipping around a campsite. I thought crap now i have to tell the guys on KTC and they are going to rip me. Thankfully I woke up from the nightmare and it wasn't true. I told my wife and then I texted a few guys on this site.
I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to quit. I am also thankful for this site and the great men i have encountered. I realize it's only day 32 and this fight is just started, but it gives me strength knowing that I do not QUIT alone.
I pray each of you have a wonderful Sunday and Rock this QUIT.
Day 36 - Never thought I would make it this far. Must admit without this group and the guys here for encouraging words or a swift kick in the butt I would have caved on Day 2. I am not feeling great like some are but I am also dealing with anxiety and other health concerns, that dipping didn't help and dipping isn't the cure either.
I have to remind myself what I felt like the first week. I felt like complete crap, so i have no need to feel like that again. I am reminded daily that I am an addict and that i was a slave to nicotine for 34 f"ing years. So the journey to recovery will be exactly that, a journey. Not a short trip, not a quick fix, not a I don't need anyone. It's a journey, it takes planning, tools, other people and a daily commitment. This is a life long journey, not a hey I quit for 100 days now let's celebrate with a cold beer and a dip of Skoal (just one, what can it hurt). This is the journey of a lifetime and I am thankful that I can experience it with many of you and my October Quit Brothers.
Rock the Quit!
Hutch18
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...I have to remind myself what I felt like the first week. I felt like complete crap, so i have no need to feel like that again. I am reminded daily that I am an addict and that i was a slave to nicotine for 34 f"ing years. So the journey to recovery will be exactly that, a journey. Not a short trip, not a quick fix, not a I don't need anyone. It's a journey, it takes planning, tools, other people and a daily commitment. ...
Wow Hutch. You've certainly figured a lot out in 34 days. That's good stuff, HOF Speech material right there. Keep it up, I'll mark it on my calendar so I can look for that speech when you hit that milestone.
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...I have to remind myself what I felt like the first week. I felt like complete crap, so i have no need to feel like that again. I am reminded daily that I am an addict and that i was a slave to nicotine for 34 f"ing years. So the journey to recovery will be exactly that, a journey. Not a short trip, not a quick fix, not a I don't need anyone. It's a journey, it takes planning, tools, other people and a daily commitment. ...
Wow Hutch. You've certainly figured a lot out in 34 days. That's good stuff, HOF Speech material right there. Keep it up, I'll mark it on my calendar so I can look for that speech when you hit that milestone.
Dude... Your killing it.
It won't live without oxygen.
Don't give it a breath of your day.
In time... ODAAT
You will realizing your freedom.
Truth never fails.
Hate it....... And Help others.
I quit with you.
Rawls 1367
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...I have to remind myself what I felt like the first week. I felt like complete crap, so i have no need to feel like that again. I am reminded daily that I am an addict and that i was a slave to nicotine for 34 f"ing years. So the journey to recovery will be exactly that, a journey. Not a short trip, not a quick fix, not a I don't need anyone. It's a journey, it takes planning, tools, other people and a daily commitment. ...
Wow Hutch. You've certainly figured a lot out in 34 days. That's good stuff, HOF Speech material right there. Keep it up, I'll mark it on my calendar so I can look for that speech when you hit that milestone.
Dude... Your killing it.
It won't live without oxygen.
Don't give it a breath of your day.
In time... ODAAT
You will realizing your freedom.
Truth never fails.
Hate it....... And Help others.
I quit with you.
Rawls 1367
learn it
live it
love it
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On the eve of Day 50 I am still in shock that I have quit for this long. Like all the long time KTC addicts, excuse me, i meant to say long time KTC users this site is a big reason for 50 days. I still don't feel 100%, but I can say that I 100% love not being slave to the Nicotine bitch. I am not saying the battle is over, not by a long shot. But I am saying I have learned a lot about myself in 50 (almost) days.
1) I can quit, when I want to.
2) I can't quit alone (tired that for over 20 years)
3) I can't quit alone
4) Feeling like crap is the reminder I will need when its not just the even of 50 days, but 500 days +
5) I can't quit alone
6) Your brain messes with you and makes things worse than they are
7) I can't quit alone
8) posting roll is a key element
Thanks for all the support you addicts and Bad ass quitters and to all my brothers in October quit group. Rock It.
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.....Like all the long time KTC addicts, excuse me, i meant to say long time KTC users ...
That's OK brother, I've come to acknowledge, even embrace, the addict. I am an addict. It's part of me but it no longer defines me!
IQWYT!
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.....Like all the long time KTC addicts, excuse me, i meant to say long time KTC users ...
That's OK brother, I've come to acknowledge, even embrace, the addict. I am an addict. It's part of me but it no longer defines me!
IQWYT!
Today I am addicted to KTC and being a bad ass. Tomorrow I may try Yoga!
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.....Like all the long time KTC addicts, excuse me, i meant to say long time KTC users ...
That's OK brother, I've come to acknowledge, even embrace, the addict. I am an addict. It's part of me but it no longer defines me!
IQWYT!
Today I am addicted to KTC and being a bad ass. Tomorrow I may try Yoga!
Day 53 - was chatting with a few long time quitters and decided to update my intro. Not for anyone else's sake but for my sake. If it helps someone else good, but this really is about me. The fellow brothers and sisters who quit can help me, they can inspire me, they can keep me accountable, but at the end of the day (or in the middle of it) it's my choice not to dip. It's my choice to tell the nicotine monster, bitch or whatever you call it to go away. It's my choice to say 'Finger' you and i choose not to lead that life again.
I am so thankful I found this site, so thankful for the quitters before me who are still actively helping others. This shit is real and it totally worth it.
Happy Labor Day weekend. First Dip free Labor Day in 34 years, that is reason to celebrate!
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Star date - Sept 3rd 2018, 56 days quit and I have ginger in my mouth. WTF, if you would have bet me I would have raw ginger in my mouth on Labor day instead of a BIG FAT dip, i'd say you were crazy. Would have lost that bet and I am glad. 56 days ain't much compared to Kdip's 10 years, but it's longer than i have ever quit before. Taking roll helps, texting people everyday helps, but what really helps more than anything else is not wanting to relive day 1 - 20. That sucked and some days still suck.
I still get the tingling, but my BP is down. I still have tingling on my jaw line and get dizzy and foggy, but not all day. I get better everyday. I feel better everyday.
If you are struggling through a quit or through anything in life, remember this. Nicotine is not the answer, it's the problem. Experiencing life without it takes time, but it beats Ninja dipping at 2 am or waking up to find out your can is empty and the search for the secret back up stash begins. I am thankful on the Labor Day, not because i am not working, but because i am not working with GINGER in my LIP instead of Nicotine.
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Star date - Sept 3rd 2018, 56 days quit and I have ginger in my mouth. WTF, if you would have bet me I would have raw ginger in my mouth on Labor day instead of a BIG FAT dip, i'd say you were crazy. Would have lost that bet and I am glad. 56 days ain't much compared to Kdip's 10 years, but it's longer than i have ever quit before. Taking roll helps, texting people everyday helps, but what really helps more than anything else is not wanting to relive day 1 - 20. That sucked and some days still suck.
I still get the tingling, but my BP is down. I still have tingling on my jaw line and get dizzy and foggy, but not all day. I get better everyday. I feel better everyday.
If you are struggling through a quit or through anything in life, remember this. Nicotine is not the answer, it's the problem. Experiencing life without it takes time, but it beats Ninja dipping at 2 am or waking up to find out your can is empty and the search for the secret back up stash begins. I am thankful on the Labor Day, not because i am not working, but because i am not working with GINGER in my LIP instead of Nicotine.
Ginger. Gilligan wished for that. I hadn't thought of it. How is it? Does it work? I rolled with cinnamon sticks for the longest time. Still use 'em on long drives.
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Star date - Sept 3rd 2018, 56 days quit and I have ginger in my mouth. WTF, if you would have bet me I would have raw ginger in my mouth on Labor day instead of a BIG FAT dip, i'd say you were crazy. Would have lost that bet and I am glad. 56 days ain't much compared to Kdip's 10 years, but it's longer than i have ever quit before. Taking roll helps, texting people everyday helps, but what really helps more than anything else is not wanting to relive day 1 - 20. That sucked and some days still suck.
I still get the tingling, but my BP is down. I still have tingling on my jaw line and get dizzy and foggy, but not all day. I get better everyday. I feel better everyday.
If you are struggling through a quit or through anything in life, remember this. Nicotine is not the answer, it's the problem. Experiencing life without it takes time, but it beats Ninja dipping at 2 am or waking up to find out your can is empty and the search for the secret back up stash begins. I am thankful on the Labor Day, not because i am not working, but because i am not working with GINGER in my LIP instead of Nicotine.
Ginger. Gilligan wished for that. I hadn't thought of it. How is it? Does it work? I rolled with cinnamon sticks for the longest time. Still use 'em on long drives.
It burns like a good lipper would and has other good health benefits. Mint leaves work too.
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Day 59 - writing in this journal helps me keep sane. I hear all these quitters talking about how much easier it is after day . . . Well crap I am on day 59 and I feel slightly better. I sleep well and I haven't gained the weight, but damn this tingling in the jaw and over my head and down my body sucks. My mind or rather the nicotine mind is trying to pull me back. How you might ask? Because I didn't feel this way 59 days ago, so maybe if I dipped again I would feel normal. Let me let you in on a little secret. That is 1000% true, I would feel normal again. But I don't want to feel normal again. I don't want to feel like the guy who dipped for 30+ years. I want a new NORMAL. This crappy feeling, however long it will last will be worth it. But I need you're help. When you hear me bitching about it or complaining about it and i get closer to the edge of you know the C A V E. Then remind me a NEW Normal is worth it. Because the OLD Normal wasn't much better, it was an illusion and a lie.
Stay Quit! ODAAT
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Day 59 - writing in this journal helps me keep sane. I hear all these quitters talking about how much easier it is after day . . . Well crap I am on day 59 and I feel slightly better. I sleep well and I haven't gained the weight, but damn this tingling in the jaw and over my head and down my body sucks. My mind or rather the nicotine mind is trying to pull me back. How you might ask? Because I didn't feel this way 59 days ago, so maybe if I dipped again I would feel normal. Let me let you in on a little secret. That is 1000% true, I would feel normal again. But I don't want to feel normal again. I don't want to feel like the guy who dipped for 30+ years. I want a new NORMAL. This crappy feeling, however long it will last will be worth it. But I need you're help. When you hear me bitching about it or complaining about it and i get closer to the edge of you know the C A V E. Then remind me a NEW Normal is worth it. Because the OLD Normal wasn't much better, it was an illusion and a lie.
Stay Quit! ODAAT
Food for thought...
What you’re calling your “old normal” was not any kind of normal. It was a drug induced fallacy.
No more looking back.
What you want to be... do it. Leave nicotine behind. YouÂ’re not a user anymore.
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Poof
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Has it really been that many days since I updated this? Damn that was fast. It's day 65 as I write this. I met my first fellow quitter today in person, none other than Broccoli-saurus. I honestly thought it would be a bit weird, but it wasn't. It was nice meeting someone who understands what i am experiencing first hand.
Update on me: still have good days and bad days. Seeing the Doctor tomorrow and reviewing my blood work and other tests. Going to ask her about my persistent tingling and throat soreness, but it's probably my body adjusting to the fact that i am no longer gutting chewing tobacco.
I am a very emotional person, and this QUIT has challenged me to figure out what is most important in my life and 67 days ago dip would have made it on my top 10 list of things I need. Can you believe that? I plant that is trying to kill me would make my top 10 list, am I crazy? No, but I am an addict and always will be. I need this site to help me meet people who understand the mental struggles and who will keep me accountable. I need this site, so i can make the commitment everyday, not to myself but to my brothers. I need this site and the people on it to remind me why its worth it.
I will be honest, i don't think of dipping all day everyday anymore. But I still think of it, i still think about situations that I will face without dip for the first time in 34 years. How will i handle it? I know how I plan to handle it and that is the major difference in this final quit. I have a plan. Before I didn't have a plan or support. I had me. That's it and I am an addict. So that was never going to work.
So my suggestion to anyone reading this who hasn't quit. Quit today. Anyone reading this who quit but isn't actively involved in helping someone else quit, then start. When you serve someone else, its usually you (the server) that gets the biggest blessing!
Stay Quit!
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Great words Hutch, I needed this to start my day! Your post is very much appreciated.
I proudly quit with you today!
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Has it really been that many days since I updated this? Damn that was fast. It's day 65 as I write this. I met my first fellow quitter today in person, none other than Broccoli-saurus. I honestly thought it would be a bit weird, but it wasn't. It was nice meeting someone who understands what i am experiencing first hand.
Update on me: still have good days and bad days. Seeing the Doctor tomorrow and reviewing my blood work and other tests. Going to ask her about my persistent tingling and throat soreness, but it's probably my body adjusting to the fact that i am no longer gutting chewing tobacco.
I am a very emotional person, and this QUIT has challenged me to figure out what is most important in my life and 67 days ago dip would have made it on my top 10 list of things I need. Can you believe that? I plant that is trying to kill me would make my top 10 list, am I crazy? No, but I am an addict and always will be. I need this site to help me meet people who understand the mental struggles and who will keep me accountable. I need this site, so i can make the commitment everyday, not to myself but to my brothers. I need this site and the people on it to remind me why its worth it.
I will be honest, i don't think of dipping all day everyday anymore. But I still think of it, i still think about situations that I will face without dip for the first time in 34 years. How will i handle it? I know how I plan to handle it and that is the major difference in this final quit. I have a plan. Before I didn't have a plan or support. I had me. That's it and I am an addict. So that was never going to work.
So my suggestion to anyone reading this who hasn't quit. Quit today. Anyone reading this who quit but isn't actively involved in helping someone else quit, then start. When you serve someone else, its usually you (the server) that gets the biggest blessing!
Stay Quit!
Hutch,
Good work man. First of all, it's a good thing to see the Doc (specially' if she's hot!) to clear your head and get that clean bill of health. It really helps with any anxieties.
Next... All those tingling feelings and the strangeness in your mouth (no sick jokes here folks) is your body adjusting to no nicotine. For the first 2 months of my quit, it felt like my teeth were Mexican jumping beans. They literally felt as if they were falling outta my head. I would actually go to the mirror and (close up) with my index finger and thumb, grab them and see if they were moving and loose. They were not, but for god's sake id swear they were. The bottom line is that you body is adjusting. It's pushing and pulling to try and find the new norm. I'm quite positive it will and when it does settle into it's new era of dip free life, it's going to feel great. You are not alone in those feelings.
Hit me up if you need another set of digits.
FF
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Doctors update: I am not on deaths door, but my body is not 100% either (didnÂ’t need to pay someone to tell me that). But without going into all the details, my gut is not absorbing the minerals and nutrients I need. So I get to take supplements, so excited (sarcasm). But it sure could have been worse. She, yes my doctor is a she, and she is attractive in a purely professional sense. (CanÂ’t wait till the turn left/right and cough test) but I digress. Anyway she agrees that dipping hid some of the symptoms and now that I QUIT it just feels worse. But there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Might take 3 - 6 months or 3-6 weeks, but itÂ’s still hope and for a recovering addict that means everything!
Stay quit!
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Doctors update: I am not on deaths door, but my body is not 100% either (didnÂ’t need to pay someone to tell me that). But without going into all the details, my gut is not absorbing the minerals and nutrients I need. So I get to take supplements, so excited (sarcasm). But it sure could have been worse. She, yes my doctor is a she, and she is attractive in a purely professional sense. (CanÂ’t wait till the turn left/right and cough test) but I digress. Anyway she agrees that dipping hid some of the symptoms and now that I QUIT it just feels worse. But there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Might take 3 - 6 months or 3-6 weeks, but itÂ’s still hope and for a recovering addict that means everything!
Stay quit!
I'd always wondered about the 'turn your head and cough' routine. So I asked the doctor what that was about. He said, "so you don't cough on my head". figures.
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Doctors update: I am not on deaths door, but my body is not 100% either (didnÂ’t need to pay someone to tell me that). But without going into all the details, my gut is not absorbing the minerals and nutrients I need. So I get to take supplements, so excited (sarcasm). But it sure could have been worse. She, yes my doctor is a she, and she is attractive in a purely professional sense. (CanÂ’t wait till the turn left/right and cough test) but I digress. Anyway she agrees that dipping hid some of the symptoms and now that I QUIT it just feels worse. But there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Might take 3 - 6 months or 3-6 weeks, but itÂ’s still hope and for a recovering addict that means everything!
Stay quit!
I'd always wondered about the 'turn your head and cough' routine. Â So I asked the doctor what that was about. Â He said, "so you don't cough on my head". figures.
glad to hear the doc went smoothly