KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: bnlelliott on March 06, 2009, 12:08:00 PM
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Thanks for all the hlp guys. I'm Brian, and I'm on Day 18. I turned 46 years old last week and was a snuff dipper for 33 years. I took my first dip of snuff on my 13th birthday and have been hrd core ever since. The only time I had snuff in my mouth was when I was breathing...I was going to say when I was awake...but that would not be true since I took many a nap...and yes sometimes went to sleep at night (accidentally) with a dip of snuff in my mouth.
I tried to quit several times in the past 10 years...one time I made it almost a whole day...but this site, and my decision has made a real difference this time. And as somebody wrote on this site in a great little article it really is about the decision.
Every morning I have a conversation with myself and tell myself about the decision that I have made for that day. As they day goes on...if I get a crave...if I want to cave...I just tell myself, NO...that decision has been made today. Then I get up the next morning nd have the same conversation.
I wish I had a more interesting story to tell...but I don't. I am just a guy has been addicted to nic for almost his entire life...trying to kick the habit...and beating it day by day. If anybody out there ever needs my help...just PM me and we'll get through this together.
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Thanks for all the hlp guys. I'm Brian, and I'm on Day 18. I turned 46 years old last week and was a snuff dipper for 33 years. I took my first dip of snuff on my 13th birthday and have been hrd core ever since. The only time I had snuff in my mouth was when I was breathing...I was going to say when I was awake...but that would not be true since I took many a nap...and yes sometimes went to sleep at night (accidentally) with a dip of snuff in my mouth.
I tried to quit several times in the past 10 years...one time I made it almost a whole day...but this site, and my decision has made a real difference this time. And as somebody wrote on this site in a great little article it really is about the decision.
Every morning I have a conversation with myself and tell myself about the decision that I have made for that day. As they day goes on...if I get a crave...if I want to cave...I just tell myself, NO...that decision has been made today. Then I get up the next morning nd have the same conversation.
I wish I had a more interesting story to tell...but I don't. I am just a guy has been addicted to nic for almost his entire life...trying to kick the habit...and beating it day by day. If anybody out there ever needs my help...just PM me and we'll get through this together.
Brian-
More interesting? Hell, you hit the nail right on the head if you ask me. Great job on 18 days. I've been having the same conversation every morning with myself for the last 19 days. Keep up the good work.
Gooch
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Thanks for all the hlp guys. I'm Brian, and I'm on Day 18. I turned 46 years old last week and was a snuff dipper for 33 years. I took my first dip of snuff on my 13th birthday and have been hrd core ever since. The only time I had snuff in my mouth was when I was breathing...I was going to say when I was awake...but that would not be true since I took many a nap...and yes sometimes went to sleep at night (accidentally) with a dip of snuff in my mouth.
I tried to quit several times in the past 10 years...one time I made it almost a whole day...but this site, and my decision has made a real difference this time. And as somebody wrote on this site in a great little article it really is about the decision.
Every morning I have a conversation with myself and tell myself about the decision that I have made for that day. As they day goes on...if I get a crave...if I want to cave...I just tell myself, NO...that decision has been made today. Then I get up the next morning nd have the same conversation.
I wish I had a more interesting story to tell...but I don't. I am just a guy has been addicted to nic for almost his entire life...trying to kick the habit...and beating it day by day. If anybody out there ever needs my help...just PM me and we'll get through this together.
Brian-
More interesting? Hell, you hit the nail right on the head if you ask me. Great job on 18 days. I've been having the same conversation every morning with myself for the last 19 days. Keep up the good work.
Gooch
I agree with Gooch here... that's about the most interesting thing you could have written. You're WINNING. Congrats.
chewie
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Something somebody (I wish I could remember who) on here said one time really stuck with me. I'll never be sorry for not caving. That is so true. If I caved I don't know how I could look at myself in the mirror (it's hard enough being this ugly anyway!). I'll never be sorry for making the decision to stay away from the snuff.
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Thanks for all the hlp guys. I'm Brian, and I'm on Day 18. I turned 46 years old last week and was a snuff dipper for 33 years. I took my first dip of snuff on my 13th birthday and have been hrd core ever since.  The only time I had snuff in my mouth was when I was breathing...I was going to say when I was awake...but that would not be true since I took many a nap...and yes sometimes went to sleep at night (accidentally) with a dip of snuff in my mouth.
I tried to quit several times in the past 10 years...one time I made it almost a whole day...but this site, and my decision has made a real difference this time. And as somebody wrote on this site in a great little article it really is about the decision.
Every morning I have a conversation with myself and tell myself about the decision that I have made for that day. As they day goes on...if I get a crave...if I want to cave...I just tell myself, NO...that decision has been made today. Then I get up the next morning nd have the same conversation.
I wish I had a more interesting story to tell...but I don't. I am just a guy has been addicted to nic for almost his entire life...trying to kick the habit...and beating it day by day. If anybody out there ever needs my help...just PM me and we'll get through this together.
Brian-
More interesting? Hell, you hit the nail right on the head if you ask me. Great job on 18 days. I've been having the same conversation every morning with myself for the last 19 days. Keep up the good work.
Gooch
I agree with Gooch here... that's about the most interesting thing you could have written. You're WINNING. Congrats.
chewie
Great attitude. You can do this ONE day at a time. Former cope junkie here. 6 months quit and never want to go back. Enjoy the ride
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Wow, you are about to hit 20 days....
9 days ago I thought it couldn't happen....
I want to be like you....
Ray
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A quick question for any HOFer's that happen by. I feel right now like I have traded one addiction for another...snuff for either candy or gum. It doesn't seem like a "nic fit" more like I just need something in my lip or jaw.
Is this normal...and if so, do we have a "kill the oral fixation" web site we go to next?
Thanks,
Brian
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A quick question for any HOFer's that happen by. I feel right now like I have traded one addiction for another...snuff for either candy or gum. It doesn't seem like a "nic fit" more like I just need something in my lip or jaw.
Is this normal...and if so, do we have a "kill the oral fixation" web site we go to next?
Thanks,
Brian
Completely normal. Don't worry about it at all. Eventually you just won't need your gum/candy anymore. And even if you do, they're not going to kill you.
As an example, I chewed fake snuff every day for a good 180+ days or so into my quit. Then one day I just didn't need it any more. Job #1 is to keep the real stuff out of your mouth... nothing else matters.
chewie
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I was chewing fake stuff as well and have pretty much put it down for the last month or so. I am at 6 months quit. Your lip is used to having a bulge in it and it takes time to get away from that need.
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I was chewing fake stuff as well and have pretty much put it down for the last month or so. I am at 6 months quit. Your lip is used to having a bulge in it and it takes time to get away from that need.
I agree, I've only been quit for 5 days but the weeks leading
up to the quit date, I slowed down from a can a day to a can
every three. I chewed in my upper lip for 20+ years. After the
doc told me to quit, or at least move it around. I started chewing in my lower lip. At that point, I was craving a dip
even though I had one in my lower lip. I was still grasping
for the can.
Today, I find my self, unconsciously, still grabbing
for the can.
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A quick question for any HOFer's that happen by. I feel right now like I have traded one addiction for another...snuff for either candy or gum. It doesn't seem like a "nic fit" more like I just need something in my lip or jaw.
Is this normal...and if so, do we have a "kill the oral fixation" web site we go to next?
Thanks,
Brian
hey man i no what your sayin cause man i was goin thru them atomic fire balls like crazy. but dont worry about fitin that battle so much. theres a time and place for that battle. and you can take all the time you want to ween off a the oral fixation stuff. yuo don't need to go cold turky like the nic.
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Looks like we have some guys in May about to hit 50...congrats to you all. I look forward to saying that myself. 24 days now for me...tomorrow will be 25. 1/4 of the way to HOF. I swear when I started this I was thinking that I would just hang around for a few days and see if I even had it in me to do that...but just getting on here and reading and seeing what the other guys are going through keeps me going as well. I used to think 24 minutes was impossible...24 days is now reality, 25 is dead ahead, and at this point I am feeling fine!
I have been going over to March and watching the train pull up to the station for our new Hall members...one of these days in May that train will be rolling down the track toward my place...come on for the ride guys it's been great!
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It is a "long, strange trip" so far...at least to me. I woke up today (Day 28) with a harder crave than I had for the first 3-4 days. Those were bad...I thought that once I was past those that there would be different reasons to want to cave...but not good old fashioned I just want a dip because I want a dip craves?!? 'bang head'
Oh well...already had the talk with myself, and the decision has been made for today so no need even thinking about it any more....no further discussion needed.
It ain't a hundred days yet...but I think I am going to celebrate 4 weeks anyhow! :D
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Don't know if I can deal with another day like today in May or not. I've got enough chaos in my life right now with quittin....don't need more from here! 30 days now...a good start anyway!
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Feeling much better today. It's not really like a "nic fit" or anything like that...more almost like a depression type thing!?! Anyway...had my first nic dream last night...wierd and intense...but feel fine this morning. 32 days...
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Day 33 is off and running. Had dip dreams again last night...this time it was my Mom and Grandma trying to get me back on?!? Wow. Other than at night I'm doing pretty well. Most of the craves can be kicked in about 30-45 seconds now with just a quick thought back to the morning.
I can tell you that I am going to miss my group...but I can't go back in there for a while. I have never been closer to caving than I have been inside the group the last few days. I don't need people coming in and screwing with my mind like that. I know that was not anybody's intent...but one of the things I have learned over the past 33 days is that anger is a huge trigger for me. 'bang head' My anger...even other people's anger. So, whether it is on here or anywhere else...I am still at the point where I just have to extricate myself from the situation when it comes up...especially when it comes from the outside.
I'll take anybody's support who wants to give it...but at this point I can't take it in any form. :wacko: Hopefully, after a few days I'll be able to come on back in, but right now I've got to let some things blow over.
Outernal...gettin close to 50 (maybe there?) congrats man...gooch, mrogers, done 12 right in front of me at 34...I've got your back...you ever need anything just email or PM I'm here...nmc, thanks for the help...I'll still see you at 50 in a couple of weeks. All the rest of May 09 thanks and keep at it. Hopefully some of the rest will back off in awhile...or my anger triggers will get better
By the way, 25 7 so far in the tourney...Cleveland State and Florida State are going to kill me though!
Brian
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Day -34..
No dreams last night...I was afraid that maybe they were going to be around for a while. Yesterday was a day full of yard work...fixing a sink, and doing some painting. In other words...honeydo's. Seemed to fare pretty well...even though this was the first day with a list of chores that I didn't have a dip in 33 years. The world didn't come to an end...what do ya know?
34 days and more than $300 saved!
Stay strong everyone.
Brian
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you know you and that is cool. keep quit and as your sign. says the decision has been made. your an awesome dude and your welcome to post in Feb 09 anytime you want. we are a bunch of mellow happy quitters except when I get pissed off because I really want a dip and cannot have one. that rarely happens but it does.
Happy Sunday
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Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
Justin
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Thanks Monster...I'll be back...I just have to get my anger issues under control, and at this point I'm not sure if the answer is stay away so there is no danger...or get back in the middle of the fray and fight it. Right now it feels a little more comfortable staying away...but I also wonder if that isn't kind of CS if you know what I mean.
I'm quit and strong...someone said they were going to post roll for me...I don't know if they did or not...know you can count on me if you need anything PM or email anytime
Brian
Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
Justin
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Thanks Monster...I'll be back...I just have to get my anger issues under control, and at this point I'm not sure if the answer is stay away so there is no danger...or get back in the middle of the fray and fight it. Right now it feels a little more comfortable staying away...but I also wonder if that isn't kind of CS if you know what I mean.
I'm quit and strong...someone said they were going to post roll for me...I don't know if they did or not...know you can count on me if you need anything PM or email anytime
Brian
Brian,
Im in your May group, I get why you left and I have some of the same anger issues. I read this yesterday and thought it was pretty interesting. What it made me think about is that as nic users we have not had to truly deal with our emotions for years. (22 in my case) Without it, we are re-learning how to handle conflict and life from a true perspective. I have been a absolute jerk to my wife and many others around me, Its put me into marriage counseling and onto anti anxiety drugs, AND I've ONLY been quit 56 days. I am learning how to deal with it. Thought it might help to know that anger as a trigger is common to alot of us, and its physiological as well as psychological. Hang tough and Stay quit
http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/robs/anger.asp)
Justin
Hey Brian, yeah nmc has been posting for you, its good to know your still quit. Hermit up in here until your ready , We'll come and visit. Hell, I'll post with you
Skoal Monster 56 :)
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Thanks monster...by the way, I just went and checked out the may 09 page for the first time since Friday and that is a GREAT post you just out up. I appreciate it. I went in their lurking...and I was pretty good til I got back to Friday again!
Maybe I'll just leave Friday behind...beg everyone for their indulgence for a couple of days and start posting roll again myself tomorrow...maybe even tonight.
Thanks man
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Day 36...
Wow...I have put on the pounds. SkoalMonster just hit something in may 09 roll about smokeys weight loss solution. I'm not sure I am going to go there...but I need to do smoething. I have gained more than 20 pounds in 36 days.
My fault, I know. However, I'll deal with that once I have dealt with this. I spoke with my doctor...his recommendation was first things first...lose the snuff, then we'll lose the weight. Heading to Wal-Mart TONIGHT to buy about 4 pair of $9 size 38 waist (or should I say waste) jeans so I have clothes to wear for a while.
Doc says if I can beat the snuff devil, I can beat this too.
e mail, PM or ask for my number if you need anything guys...we'll get through this together!
Brian
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Day -43
Made it 6 weks so far...amazing, or at least it amazes me. I have found that it is the little things like a 6 week mark or even 40 days...just some kind of milestone that makes me happy...seems to take off the pressure.
I still seem to be doing the depression and anger thing right now. As of yesterday the doc wants me to keep fighting through it rather than medicate it. He says if I can do the cold turkey on nic, that I can fight this as well, and I think he is probably right. I have told him about this site and he has told me that he has several other guys that have been trying to quit without much success. He's going to give them my email address and maybe we can help them out as well. The doc seems impressed with what we have going here...says that peer pressure and accounability are the keys once someone really wants to quit.
I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.
Brian
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Day -43
Made it 6 weks so far...amazing, or at least it amazes me. I have found that it is the little things like a 6 week mark or even 40 days...just some kind of milestone that makes me happy...seems to take off the pressure.
I still seem to be doing the depression and anger thing right now. As of yesterday the doc wants me to keep fighting through it rather than medicate it. He says if I can do the cold turkey on nic, that I can fight this as well, and I think he is probably right. I have told him about this site and he has told me that he has several other guys that have been trying to quit without much success. He's going to give them my email address and maybe we can help them out as well. The doc seems impressed with what we have going here...says that peer pressure and accounability are the keys once someone really wants to quit.
I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.
Brian
Everyday is a milestone in my opinion, however, I tend to mark days that end in 0 as major milestones. I celebrated 10, 20, 30, 40 ..... 120 etc.. you get the picture. Quitting is something that we will be doing for the rest of our lives, so I think we each deserve a pat on the back for a job well done!!!
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I am at that place in my mind right now that going back seems impossible because I keep recounting everyday what it was like those first few days. Hopefully I'll keep that thought n mind.
Congrats with your success thus far Brian! I think you just spelled out EXACTLY how I feel (and others too I'd bet) about my quit. The fact that it's easier to remain quit than to fail and start all over whipping that ugly bitch into submission.....
Thanks,
Mike
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Well...Day 52 coming. Day's 52 and 53 promise to be memorable days in my quit. Checked in at the Doctors office again today and he is not liking something that he sees in the esophagus and some of the things I'm telling him about upper GI...so tomorrow and Friday are tests.
Tomorrow mostly blood tests and a sonogram...Friday the upper GI thing where I have to fast and then drink the nasty crap while they are taking pics. Doc tells me it could be something as "innocent" as acid reflux...or hiatal (?) hernia...or it could be 33 years of Cope coming back for it's haunt...
We'll see...and I'll keep you all informed...I'm reasonably optimistic as is the doc. But here's to a great reason for me and for you all to STAY Quit.
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Got the last of my tests done today...upper GI series (Barium tastes awful) and sonograms...I won't know the results until I return to the doctor on Tuesday, but I take it as a good sign that I didn't get a call today saying I think you better come in early there's some stuff we need to talk about.
Going to the dentist next week. I am scared stiff about this. I have not been to a dentist in 28 years...that's right 28 years. I take good care of the choppers...but was afraid to go while dipping. Now I have no idea what they'll find in there. Don't seem to have any sores or anything, but just thought it would be a good idea to go. we'll see.
Wow...28 years...
Brian
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It has been fifteen years since I went to my military dentist. At first, it was just plain inconvient dealing with private insurance, finding a dentist, all that stuff that the military does for you. Soon, though, that excuse wore off. I was, and still am, just plain chicken of the dentist because of dip.
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Got the last of my tests done today...upper GI series (Barium tastes awful) and sonograms...I won't know the results until I return to the doctor on Tuesday, but I take it as a good sign that I didn't get a call today saying I think you better come in early there's some stuff we need to talk about.
Going to the dentist next week. I am scared stiff about this. I have not been to a dentist in 28 years...that's right 28 years. I take good care of the choppers...but was afraid to go while dipping. Now I have no idea what they'll find in there. Don't seem to have any sores or anything, but just thought it would be a good idea to go. we'll see.
Wow...28 years...
Brian
Wow Brian, I hope all the tests go well!! 'nuff said. And dentist too!
I put off going to the dentist for 12 years. Same reasons, well, except my wife talked me into going before I quit dipping. And, she didn't know I was dipping - man, I hit the can hard before that first visit and I kept whispering to the hygenist to not tell my wife that I was dipping. The wife was getting her teeth cleaned at the same time in the room next door. Well, the ninja dipping continued for another year before I got busted. The last dental appointment I had was 2 weeks ago. I did the Zoom teeth whitening as a reward for the quit. Yay!
Bottom line, the dentist will find what the dentist will find, and he or she will fix it. In my case, it was two fillings refilled and one getting infected and requiring a root canal and crown. Strangely enough, I've looked forward to going to the dentist the last 6 months because I've been able to say to him twice that I'm still quit!
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Day 58
Started yesterday with the reading of the tests...Good news, no stomach or esophagus cancer. I do have a medium size (according to doc) Hiatal (sp?!?) hernia that is causing acid reflux...also some Bad News. A VERY enlarged liver. Not a huge concern until we find out what the cause is...seems as though the doc thinks this a symptom of another problem...and not the problem itself.
The only reason I bring this up in this forum is the doc also said that this is probably a long term ailment that with regular physicals could have and should have been found some time ago. Why didn't I go the doc on a regular basis for years??? Easy...I was tired of, annoyed by, and didn't want to hear the "You've got to quit dipping that snuff" speech.
Hopefully it will end up being nothing...there are some very mild sicknesses that have an enlarged liver as a symptom...there are also some very serious ones. Just suffice it to say this...I did not go to the doc on a regular basis because of Cope...I haven't gone to the dentist in almost 30 years because of Cope. Whatever ailment I have, if it has gone undiscovered for a long time and done long term damage it is because of Cope.
If you go back, if you cave, this is the kind of "friend" you are trading for.
Brian
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Day 58
Started yesterday with the reading of the tests...Good news, no stomach or esophagus cancer. I do have a medium size (according to doc) Hiatal (sp?!?) hernia that is causing acid reflux...also some Bad News. A VERY enlarged liver. Not a huge concern until we find out what the cause is...seems as though the doc thinks this a symptom of another problem...and not the problem itself.
The only reason I bring this up in this forum is the doc also said that this is probably a long term ailment that with regular physicals could have and should have been found some time ago. Why didn't I go the doc on a regular basis for years??? Easy...I was tired of, annoyed by, and didn't want to hear the "You've got to quit dipping that snuff" speech.
Hopefully it will end up being nothing...there are some very mild sicknesses that have an enlarged liver as a symptom...there are also some very serious ones. Just suffice it to say this...I did not go to the doc on a regular basis because of Cope...I haven't gone to the dentist in almost 30 years because of Cope. Whatever ailment I have, if it has gone undiscovered for a long time and done long term damage it is because of Cope.
If you go back, if you cave, this is the kind of "friend" you are trading for.
Brian
We will be praying for you. Man i hope this goes good for you.
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Day 63...
Tomorrow the major medical tests start...Tomorrow is the Gastroenterologist (sp?!?). Wednesday we do a CT scan...hunting to make sure that the cause of the liver is not the Big C...and then Friday the full Cardio work up including stress test.
Interestingly enough...whether it is the stress of all of these tests, the pain in the abdomen from Liver being enlarged...or just all the weight I have put on since I quit, I am now being treated for High Blood Pressure. Wife took me to the ER last night and BP was 205/116 when we arrived. Doc said I could light up Fort Worth with that. After a couple of hours in a dark quiet room it was "down" to 158/107. They gave me some meds to tide me over till the Cardio appointment on Friday and then we'll take it from there. ER doc says it is likely brought on by stress. GUARANTEED me it was NOT from the quit....says God knows how high it would have gotten had a still been on nic.
Just an FYI...even with all this crap going on...STILL QUIT. One day at a time guys and gals....
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Wow Brian!!!! I hate to hear about the difficulties you are having. Hoping and praying that all goes well and the Doc's can get a handle on this and you can get back to normal.
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Brian I hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. I can relate to soo much of what you are going through. I avoided dentists and docs most of my adult life for the same reasons. Scared of being busted for dipping and what they might find. How pathetic looking back. Hang in there bud.
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Day 66
CT scan negative...no cancer in the abdomen! Tomorrow is the complete cardio including stress test. Just a question...they already know my BP will go to 203/117...how much do they really want to stress me?!?
Quit going great...I'm always here to help anyone.
Brian
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Good news Brian!
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That IS outstanding news Brian! Please also post this in our quit group if you're so inclined. I know not everyone gets over here to read introductions and I'm sure the rest of the group would want to hear this.
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Day 66
CT scan negative...no cancer in the abdomen! Tomorrow is the complete cardio including stress test. Just a question...they already know my BP will go to 203/117...how much do they really want to stress me?!?
Quit going great...I'm always here to help anyone.
Brian
Keep your shit tight, Brian. 66 days is no joke.
If you and your family can power through the rest of this drama, you can power through your Quit.
My family will be praying for yours, brother.
And if you need anything, you let me know.
God bless you and keep up the good work, my friend.
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Day 66
CT scan negative...no cancer in the abdomen! Tomorrow is the complete cardio including stress test. Just a question...they already know my BP will go to 203/117...how much do they really want to stress me?!?
Quit going great...I'm always here to help anyone.
Brian
Keep your shit tight, Brian. 66 days is no joke.
If you and your family can power through the rest of this drama, you can power through your Quit.
My family will be praying for yours, brother.
And if you need anything, you let me know.
God bless you and keep up the good work, my friend.
Good news Brian. Stay strong fella. Thanks for checking in on me when I was struggling. You need anything, just let me know.
Gooch
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Day 66
CT scan negative...no cancer in the abdomen! Tomorrow is the complete cardio including stress test. Just a question...they already know my BP will go to 203/117...how much do they really want to stress me?!?
Quit going great...I'm always here to help anyone.
Brian
They want to see if your heart will still beat regular rhythms while stressed.
Thoughts are with you. Good luck with it.
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Day 66
CT scan negative...no cancer in the abdomen! Tomorrow is the complete cardio including stress test. Just a question...they already know my BP will go to 203/117...how much do they really want to stress me?!?
Quit going great...I'm always here to help anyone.
Brian
They want to see if your heart will still beat regular rhythms while stressed.
Thoughts are with you. Good luck with it.
You'll be fine- focus on the positive and expect a good outcome!!
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Can't believe it...2 years without nic. All you all who are out there struggling...trust me...I was the "weak sister" of this group. I was sure I was the one who wasn't going to make it...but every morning. EVERY MORNING!!! I rolled out of bed, went straight to the mirror in the bathroom and made the decision for THAT day...and then posted roll.
I have been out of the habit of posting roll for a while now...but I have decided to get back in...just an FYI for newbies...I still go straight to the mirror every morning. The guys in May 09 have been support for me like you can't believe. The guys in May 08 are my heroes...I've watched their numbers go up, and from time to time think I'll be there someday. But, then I catch myself and remind myself that today is enough for now...and tomorrow is another morning.
Anybody on this site that needs help or a number let me know
Thanks again.
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Enjoyed this...thought you all might too...has not a thing to do with quitting, except that maybe some of this attitude sneaks in on us from time to time!
I found it in a book by Charles J. Sykes called Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add. So here we go Â…
Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.
Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)
Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome
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Mornin all. Brian from May 09 here. Today I am quit 789 days...but I have still let the nic bitch have one little piece of control. Today...she loses that as well.
You may have noticed the fat, stupid SOB in the avatar. Welcome to my world...and as the great Dean Wormer once said, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life" although I have seen careful arguments made on KTC from the pro-Fat, Drunk and Stupid point of view.
Here's how the nic bitch got control of this. 789 days ago a foggy crybaby named bnlelliott (Brian or me) posted a Day 1, a sniveling little wimp at 5'7 and 160 pounds. Since that day I have eaten everything that didn't move...and sometimes if I could catch it I ate it if it moved. I am now the 5'7 234 pound tour de force you see in the pic. I have been thinking for a long time now that one of these days I'll fix this...but I just can't, because my quit is #1. Well, that excuse ends today.
Before I go further...if you are out there and early in your quit, now is the time for you to do what I have done...do wahtever it takes to stay quit...if it means putting on 75 plus pounds, fine, just stay quit. But after 2 years it's time for me to take this back from the nic bitch as well. I told the guys in May 09 that I cannot think of anyone I would rather have keeping me accoutable than the people on this site. I will post a new pic once a month...and weight once a week. I'll keep you all posted
Stay Quit
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Great intro brudda. I can relate. If you have keep the bitch at bay for 2 years then sheding a few well earned pounds will be a walk in the park....stay strong.
MOA
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I know what you mean. I was adding weight at a quick pace early in my quit. I tipped the scales at 202 one day and decided that was it.
I started doing P90X and just watching how much I ate and have dropped 22 lbs already. It was actually easier than I thought. I never worried about what I was eating, just how much.
Good Luck ! its amazing how dropping 20 can make you feel.
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I'll gladly live on Blue Bell 's Chocolate Decadence Ice Cream and Hostess Cupcakes and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups if it will help keep me Quit today! Still working my Day 3 Quit. Peace
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I'll gladly live on Blue Bell 's Chocolate Decadence Ice Cream and Hostess Cupcakes and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups if it will help keep me Quit today! Still working my Day 3 Quit. Peace
effin Reese Cups..... _
they do work.....but still....
effin reese cups..... _
i'm with you cousin.....1203 today.....and 269 lbs. (up 50 from day 1....i walked yesterday and am determined by the fall to be back down to 220)
KILL THE CUP!!!!!
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Go for it Brian!!!!!!!!!!! I started running and exercising in general again last month, after about 20 years, and I feel frickin' great. I too had put on some weight with my quit and the exercise and running is paying off in spades. Hell I even ran a 5K two weekends ago. If I am sitting around doing nothing and start feeling stressed or fidgity I just throw on my shoes and go for a run or drop to the floor and do some push ups. Kinda hard to stuff food in your face when the body is in motion.
Just keep moving bro and you will see a difference.
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Down six pounds this week! Thanks parputt I need the encouragement...I started running at one point last year...developed some shin splints from bad shoes and bad stretching and then gave up...need to start again!
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this is much easier to take on than a quit, that's for sure!
you can do this. calories in calories out = weight loss.
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I'll gladly live on Blue Bell 's Chocolate Decadence Ice Cream and Hostess Cupcakes and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups if it will help keep me Quit today! Still working my Day 3 Quit. Peace
effin Reese Cups..... _
they do work.....but still....
effin reese cups..... _
i'm with you cousin.....1203 today.....and 269 lbs. (up 50 from day 1....i walked yesterday and am determined by the fall to be back down to 220)
KILL THE CUP!!!!!
Start slowly. I started walking each night with my daughter. Moved on to a little bike riding in the evening.
Now I am working out six nights a week. P90X ! Kicks your ass, but will certainly get you back in shape.
Do your best... forget the rest !!
Kill the cup... TIFFS !!
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Just some thoughts rolling around in the noggin this morning...
I quit 2/16/09...I had a few rough moments, but guys like Skoal Monster, nmc, outernal, and believe it or not Smokeyg saved me from myself a few times (lots of other vets too, but I can't thank everyone everytime I post). I have noticed a disturbing trend recently that I want to warn some newbies about...that trend is the quitter who made HOF and then returned to post a Day 1.
As best as I can remember ALL of them had one thing in common...they made HOF, maybe even hung around 50 some even 100 days after that and then quit coming here. I could be wrong about ALL...but I'm not far off. I will confess as well, that I walked the "high wire" for a while as well. I left for a while at about a year and came back after nmc started PMing all of May 09 to come back and post on one of our anniversary's (I think it was day 500). I was one of the Lucky ones...and yes I use the word lucky here intentionally. I usually refuse to use the word luck in here, but I didn't go back to Day 1 after I left.
Now, I have no business telling anyone how to use this site, but considering the evidence it seems wise to me NOT to allow yourself to drift away whether it's Day 1, 100, 1000 or 10,000. The simple principle works for us all regardless of the day. I promise you today that I will not use nicotine in any form (first thing when I got up this morning I promised myself the same thing...OUT LOUD, YES VERBALLY...WITH WORDS). I then fight through today helping myself, and finding some other quitter to help and invest myself in them as well.
So, here is my simple request and suggestion to help us stop this trend. If you are at the Hall...or beyond...and are starting to get bored with your quit, or complacent...go to the current new quit month find yourself 1,2 or 3 newbies and invest yourself just as hard into their quit as you invested yourself in your quit. Then do it again, and again, and again, and again. If you can't find someone else to get invested in...get invested in my quit. I can always use the help and at the very least it will keep you coming back here everyday.
I'm not going to name any of the people that have caved after the Hall...we've all seen their Day 1, the grief and guilt it caused them (even before people in their quit month took their pound of flesh). Consider this...invest in someone else...help someone else to get from "quitting" to quit. It might save yours as well.
By the way, down 17 pounds!
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Just some thoughts rolling around in the noggin this morning...
I quit 2/16/09...I had a few rough moments, but guys like Skoal Monster, nmc, outernal, and believe it or not Smokeyg saved me from myself a few times (lots of other vets too, but I can't thank everyone everytime I post). I have noticed a disturbing trend recently that I want to warn some newbies about...that trend is the quitter who made HOF and then returned to post a Day 1.
As best as I can remember ALL of them had one thing in common...they made HOF, maybe even hung around 50 some even 100 days after that and then quit coming here. I could be wrong about ALL...but I'm not far off. I will confess as well, that I walked the "high wire" for a while as well. I left for a while at about a year and came back after nmc started PMing all of May 09 to come back and post on one of our anniversary's (I think it was day 500). I was one of the Lucky ones...and yes I use the word lucky here intentionally. I usually refuse to use the word luck in here, but I didn't go back to Day 1 after I left.
Now, I have no business telling anyone how to use this site, but considering the evidence it seems wise to me NOT to allow yourself to drift away whether it's Day 1, 100, 1000 or 10,000. The simple principle works for us all regardless of the day. I promise you today that I will not use nicotine in any form (first thing when I got up this morning I promised myself the same thing...OUT LOUD, YES VERBALLY...WITH WORDS). I then fight through today helping myself, and finding some other quitter to help and invest myself in them as well.
So, here is my simple request and suggestion to help us stop this trend. If you are at the Hall...or beyond...and are starting to get bored with your quit, or complacent...go to the current new quit month find yourself 1,2 or 3 newbies and invest yourself just as hard into their quit as you invested yourself in your quit. Then do it again, and again, and again, and again. If you can't find someone else to get invested in...get invested in my quit. I can always use the help and at the very least it will keep you coming back here everyday.
I'm not going to name any of the people that have caved after the Hall...we've all seen their Day 1, the grief and guilt it caused them (even before people in their quit month took their pound of flesh). Consider this...invest in someone else...help someone else to get from "quitting" to quit. It might save yours as well.
By the way, down 17 pounds!
I like you're "you know who you are" approach. Very diplomatic. Well, I know who I am, and I'm one of the people you're talking about. And I want to thank you for this advice. It's spot on, and I intend to follow it.
Congrats on the 17 lbs. Can't wait to see the new avatar pic.
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Consider this...invest in someone else...help someone else to get from "quitting" to quit. It might save yours as well.
This very concept is what built this place.
You can boil it down to two things:
1) Take what you need when you have to.
2) Leave it cleaner than you found it.
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OK all....just a heads up for you newer quitters....and a huge thanks to some of you all who have helped me in my quit.
I am on Day 844 (not that I'm counting or anything) of my quit. I had a Cave dream last night...first one I have had since about day 45 or so...had lots of dreams about craving...lots of dreams about nic...but this was the first CAVE dream since early on. The difference between all of those is that in the dream I actually caved. Uncomfortable for someone who has been around a long time.
Anyway...I was in the "man cave" watching the Stanley Cup finals and convinced myself that "just one" with a Finals game was not going to hurt me or my quit, so, I did it...don't know where the can came from it was just there.
I put it in...and that very second this scene from the movie "Monsters, Inc" breaks out...you know the one where the Monster is contaminated by being touched by a child...all dressed in black HazMat suits are a guy in a Red Monster from Warner Bros suit...a guy wearing a "Mule" head...some kind of "rock sculpture statue looking guy", a huge fat blob....and an elk. All dressed in HAZMAT...all carrying an American flag. If you'll check out some Avatars around here you will know it was Skoal Monster, Mule, Loot, SmokeyG, nmc and Ready...dropping out of these helicopters from the sky and into my "man cave". Several holding me down...sM shoving Cope into my mouth a whole can at a time till I was sick...all of em screaming, "How was it?" "Was it worth it?" and beating on me the whole time. Standing in the back was this guy in a Black Suit...black sunglasses...beard...shuffling cards and rolling poker chips in his fingers saying over and over F-U Brian...now post Day 1 and come back (Chuwie)! What a dream. When it was over...I literally woke up in a cold sweat...checked my lip to be sure that I hadn't caved...and was immeditately thankful for everyone on this site...vet and newbie alike.
If I haven't said it enough...thanks to all of you
Brian
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OK all....just a heads up for you newer quitters....and a huge thanks to some of you all who have helped me in my quit.
I am on Day 844 (not that I'm counting or anything) of my quit. I had a Cave dream last night...first one I have had since about day 45 or so...had lots of dreams about craving...lots of dreams about nic...but this was the first CAVE dream since early on. The difference between all of those is that in the dream I actually caved. Uncomfortable for someone who has been around a long time.
Anyway...I was in the "man cave" watching the Stanley Cup finals and convinced myself that "just one" with a Finals game was not going to hurt me or my quit, so, I did it...don't know where the can came from it was just there.
I put it in...and that very second this scene from the movie "Monsters, Inc" breaks out...you know the one where the Monster is contaminated by being touched by a child...all dressed in black HazMat suits are a guy in a Red Monster from Warner Bros suit...a guy wearing a "Mule" head...some kind of "rock sculpture statue looking guy", a huge fat blob....and an elk. All dressed in HAZMAT...all carrying an American flag. If you'll check out some Avatars around here you will know it was Skoal Monster, Mule, Loot, SmokeyG, nmc and Ready...dropping out of these helicopters from the sky and into my "man cave". Several holding me down...sM shoving Cope into my mouth a whole can at a time till I was sick...all of em screaming, "How was it?" "Was it worth it?" and beating on me the whole time. Standing in the back was this guy in a Black Suit...black sunglasses...beard...shuffling cards and rolling poker chips in his fingers saying over and over F-U Brian...now post Day 1 and come back (Chuwie)! What a dream. When it was over...I literally woke up in a cold sweat...checked my lip to be sure that I hadn't caved...and was immeditately thankful for everyone on this site...vet and newbie alike.
If I haven't said it enough...thanks to all of you
Brian
Those cave dreams are too fucking real arn't they. I have had a few myself. Nice touch having the Honor Guard of Quit repelling from a chopper into your cave cave to beat the living shit out of you. On the bright side, that's the only place she has left. In your dreams.
Never again, for any reason.
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OK all....just a heads up for you newer quitters....and a huge thanks to some of you all who have helped me in my quit.
I am on Day 844 (not that I'm counting or anything) of my quit. I had a Cave dream last night...first one I have had since about day 45 or so...had lots of dreams about craving...lots of dreams about nic...but this was the first CAVE dream since early on. The difference between all of those is that in the dream I actually caved. Uncomfortable for someone who has been around a long time.
Anyway...I was in the "man cave" watching the Stanley Cup finals and convinced myself that "just one" with a Finals game was not going to hurt me or my quit, so, I did it...don't know where the can came from it was just there.
I put it in...and that very second this scene from the movie "Monsters, Inc" breaks out...you know the one where the Monster is contaminated by being touched by a child...all dressed in black HazMat suits are a guy in a Red Monster from Warner Bros suit...a guy wearing a "Mule" head...some kind of "rock sculpture statue looking guy", a huge fat blob....and an elk. All dressed in HAZMAT...all carrying an American flag. If you'll check out some Avatars around here you will know it was Skoal Monster, Mule, Loot, SmokeyG, nmc and Ready...dropping out of these helicopters from the sky and into my "man cave". Several holding me down...sM shoving Cope into my mouth a whole can at a time till I was sick...all of em screaming, "How was it?" "Was it worth it?" and beating on me the whole time. Standing in the back was this guy in a Black Suit...black sunglasses...beard...shuffling cards and rolling poker chips in his fingers saying over and over F-U Brian...now post Day 1 and come back (Chuwie)! What a dream. When it was over...I literally woke up in a cold sweat...checked my lip to be sure that I hadn't caved...and was immeditately thankful for everyone on this site...vet and newbie alike.
If I haven't said it enough...thanks to all of you
Brian
Those cave dreams are too fucking real arn't they. I have had a few myself. Nice touch having the Honor Guard of Quit repelling from a chopper into your cave cave to beat the living shit out of you. On the bright side, that's the only place she has left. In your dreams.
Never again, for any reason.
Just an FYI Ready...I EXPECT that from each of you...just as know you all expect it from me. Although I'm not sure anyone wants to see me flying a helicopter
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Day 900 (well actually 901 now) absolutely unbelieveable. I still do it the same way everyday. I get up in the morning, face myslef in the mirror and just say "that decision's been made today." It's been that simple...now, it hasn't always been easy, and that is why I bumped this intro page up. Some of you newbies might want to go back through here and read some of the stuff we went through...in fact I got so disgusted at one point that I quit posting in my month and started posting here...you'll see it. I don't recommend it, but thanks to nmc and Skoal Monster for sticking with me through that. My point being...regardless what it takes, you CAN do this, I promise.
Everyone waits for someone in my spot to say here's to another 900...I don't work that way...I say...that decision's been made today. I'm here for anyone, don't hesitate to ask for numbers or email...it's all here for you. Thanks to everyone who has helped along the way...and thanks to you newbies for letting me help you...and any of you vets who haven't done so yet, get involved in someone else's quit and make it your own. It will strengthen you like you can't believe.