KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: BDavis on April 20, 2016, 10:48:00 PM
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My name is Jacob, i'm 29, been dipping for 10 years, and today i finally finished off my last can....
I've been putting this day off for a while now. My wife and I just had twin boys a few months ago. I promised her that I would quit when they were born...of course that didn't exactly happen. I only dip once a day, maybe twice a week i'll do two a day...but i'll use about a 1/4 of the can each time. Long story short, this past Thursday I noticed a white thin film on my gum and it was pretty sore. Immediately went to google, and of course everything that I find is awful. I kept monitoring it, and by the end of the day was able to accidentally scrape it away with my finger. However, my gum has still been somewhat sore ever since. And today I've noticed another white spot. It's not a canker sore or anything like that, and it's not thick or solid. Just wondering if anyone else had experienced this type of irritation while dipping. I went at it pretty hard one day last week because i was working so much, so I don't know if that caused it or if it had been brewing for a while.
So with that being said...I'm done. I'm terrified now that I'm going to get cancer and not be able to see my boys grow up. That thought alone, is enough to make me stop immediately. Any honest feedback would help, if it doesn't clear uo in another week i'm definitely going to my dentist.
Thanks in advance for the support, this place is just what I need. - Jacob
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It might be a cancerous, it might not be.
I went to see my dentist early in my quit. I had a small white spot where I had held my dip. I hadn't even noticed it. It was pretty light, and pretty small. My dentist called it leukoplakia.
He didn't seem too alarmed, so I didn't get too alarmed, but I did schedule a follow-up visit. I can't remember if it was one week later or two weeks later. He took a pic of the spot so he could make a comparison. If the spot grew, and was thicker, it may have been precancerous.
The day of my follow up, I looked for the spot, and couldn't find it. I almost skipped the appointment, but I ended up deciding they he was the medical professional, and I wanted to put my mind completely at ease.
The spot was almost completely gone, only a very faint shadow remained. What I did find out from that experience is that my gums are permanently receded where I held my dip. They are gone, and will never grow back.
My advice is for you to see your dentist as soon as you can get in.
Stay active here at KTC. Post roll every day. Stay quit.
If you find out that your spot is harmless like mine was, don't use that as an excuse to go back to the can. People do get cancer and lose their tongues and jaws and die from it.
It's nasty, disgusting, and you stay a slave to the can.
I am free. Every or here at KTC is free. Be free with us.
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You sound like my brother in-law who "is not an addict" because he doesn't use as much as I did. You are an addict, and the only way to quit is too never use again. The system in place here works - post roll daily, read as much as you can, and be free of the shit that IS killing you. Don;t go back to the shit if your dentist clears you, we have all had sores and bumps and gum loss - the bottom line is that you risk not seeing your kids grow up if you keep using.
My fear wasn't that, it was that one day one of my boys would walk by me with a dip in............think of that.
Post roll man.
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Not many addicts quit out of fear.
Fear is just a temporary emotion.
It's like a caboose on a train.
The Engine is the TRUTH!
And it doesnt give a crap how your feeling.
Or doesnt care where the caboose wishes it could go.
The truth is.... You don't need it.
It's medically, emotionally, never done one thing good for anybody.
It is a lie.
And it is leading you around on a chain like a little 29 year old puppy.
What decision are you going to make for yourself?
Your boys.....
How are they going to see you?
Engine or Caboose
Man of his word or Pup?
Truth sets us free brother.
It stings to the bone.
Just like cancer.
Post roll.
You can do it.
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 521
You family is counting on you to take care of yourself........Lets go to work.
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Fear has never been a reason for quitting. Motivator? Yes. But, never a reason. Think about it. You go to the doc and the doc says that it is fine. You feel at ease. Your addicted brain start to tell you 'See, it is okay. you won't get it. you are just fine' . Yes, that is how it works. Your addiction is so very cunning. Once the fear leaves, especially beings fear is a temporary feeling, you are left with your life returning to its normal.
This quit has to be all about you. Your family is just a receiver of your good choices. It is about a daily decision and promise to yourself and others to not use that day. Sometimes this decision is minute by minute. Posting roll is so very important. Use this as your journal on your journey in quit.
Drink lots of water and fruit juice and hang on.
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I know you checked in today, why the hesitation to post roll?
I went to the dentist many times as an active used............and as soon as that oral cancer check was negative, I couldn't get to my car fast enough to jam poison into my mouth again. Good health results are nice, but not an invitation to use again.
We are addicts, there was a time I'd do anything to get my fix, now I quit one day at a time.
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Hey fellas...Day 2 wasn't too bad. Thank you guys for the support and for pushing me to do the right thing. I haven't had a chance to post roll until now, but I've been able to check your comments throughout the day which has been a gigantic help.
I'm close with my Dentist, so he squeezed me in today to take a look at the white spot just to give me a peace of mind. Unfortunately, he didn't know what it was at all. It didn't scare him, he didn't think it was bad, X-Rays looked fine.....but he had just never seen it before. So I have an appointment in a few weeks with an oral surgeon to get his opinion.
Even though the doctor didn't seem too alarmed....I was able to fight off the urge to reach for the can. It really wasn't that bad, but I know that it will get worse.
So keep the comments and words of support coming....I'll need it so I can kick this shit for good.
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Hey fellas...Day 2 wasn't too bad. Thank you guys for the support and for pushing me to do the right thing. I haven't had a chance to post roll until now, but I've been able to check your comments throughout the day which has been a gigantic help.
I'm close with my Dentist, so he squeezed me in today to take a look at the white spot just to give me a peace of mind. Unfortunately, he didn't know what it was at all. It didn't scare him, he didn't think it was bad, X-Rays looked fine.....but he had just never seen it before. So I have an appointment in a few weeks with an oral surgeon to get his opinion.
Even though the doctor didn't seem too alarmed....I was able to fight off the urge to reach for the can. It really wasn't that bad, but I know that it will get worse.
So keep the comments and words of support coming....I'll need it so I can kick this shit for good.
Well done brother...
Keep posting roll. Do it early!
And get involved in your group.
I quit with you.
ALL DAY LONG
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Even though the doctor didn't seem too alarmed....I was able to fight off the urge to reach for the can. It really wasn't that bad, but I know that it will get worse.
Good on you for following through with your dentist, and for posting roll.
^^^ That's the exact reason you can't let fear of cancer be the primary motivator of your quit.
You've got to quit because it's the right thing to do.
It's really hard to quit, and you have to want it bad.
Stick around here, and we'll show you how it's done.
You'll hate nicotine, and tobacco, and the tobacco companies so much, you'll never want to put that shit in your mouth again.
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Welcome BDavis. I have sent you a pm with my number. I am part of the July 16 Group. Reach out and get our numbers and get to know us.
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Good job! Reaching out to others via PM for support is your next step (if you haven't already done so). I personally believe that if your quit means a lot to you then you need to be the one to extend the hand out and say here is my number, how about yours.
Just for today, Self.
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Have a quit plan for the weekend, collect phone numbers, and stay close to this site. Weekends can be tough, be prepared.
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I quit with you bro
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Don't Stop
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I appreciate you bros for looking out for me, and showing legit concern for my quit. I work long days so I get to a computer late at night....but i'm here, i'm clean, and i'm definitely struggling. But if it wasn't for you guys supporting me, and pushing me to continue to do the right thing....it wouldn't be possible. You guys are legit saving my life, and I couldn't be more grateful.
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On a side note....the white spot on my gum has took a complete 180 and pretty much cleared up. There are still traces of it, but it's much better than it was yesterday.
Even thought it's better....I still want to quit. It's going to be tough, but i'll do it. With that being said...where exactly am I supposed to post roll?? Here?? Or somewhere else??
Thanks again for the support.
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On a side note....the white spot on my gum has took a complete 180 and pretty much cleared up. There are still traces of it, but it's much better than it was yesterday.
Even thought it's better....I still want to quit. It's going to be tough, but i'll do it. With that being said...where exactly am I supposed to post roll?? Here?? Or somewhere else??
Thanks again for the support.
Post roll in July 2016 here...
topic/11568995/1/ (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11568995/1/)
If you stay quit you will reach 100 days with your group. 100 days is not cured (there is no cure) but it is the first major milestone on the road to quit.
Post roll as soon as you wake up every morning. It is your promise not to use nicotine for 24 hours. Quitting is done actively. If you drift you will give yourself an excuse to go back to nicotine. Get digits in your group and help others.
That white spot should be a wake up call. There is no benefit from using nicotine or tobacco other than to prevent nicotine withdrawal.
I quit with you today.
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Good to see you posting roll. Make it part of your daily routine, ie WUPP (Wake Up, Piss, Post Roll). Eventually it will become second nature. We understand you can't always get to the site every day so get some numbers for others in your quit group. On those rare days you can text them and ask someone to pick you up on roll. Quit on BDavis. I quit with you for today.
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Good to see you posting roll. Make it part of your daily routine, ie WUPP (Wake Up, Piss, Post Roll). Eventually it will become second nature. We understand you can't always get to the site every day so get some numbers for others in your quit group. On those rare days you can text them and ask someone to pick you up on roll. Quit on BDavis. I quit with you for today.
Look forward to seeing you down the road to HOF, I am almost there myself, and believe me you CAN do this!
Do not ever hesitate to reach out to anyone on this site. I hope you find more than just the strength to quit nicotine here.
My digits are just a PM away (click inbox top right corner - message center)
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On a side note....the white spot on my gum has took a complete 180 and pretty much cleared up. There are still traces of it, but it's much better than it was yesterday.
Even thought it's better....I still want to quit. It's going to be tough, but i'll do it. With that being said...where exactly am I supposed to post roll?? Here?? Or somewhere else??
Thanks again for the support.
Hey BD - I'm 32 years old - dipped for the last 16 years and am now 43 days quit. I'm not gonna sugarcoat this for you.... it is a bitch of a struggle. I still have a nagging voice in my head that tries to convince me nearly every hour that I can go bum a dip. just one. yeah, right. been down that path before.
chew gum, seeds, fake chew even! keep yourself as busy as possible. don't be afraid to eat whatever you want either. you deserve to treat yourself if you stay quit.- for yourself and your boys. hang in there.