KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: kmm125 on September 28, 2011, 07:20:00 AM
-
I am the fiancee of a January 2012 quitter.
I am so proud of him, and everyone on this site.
I feel as though I need this site almost as much as him.
I want to encourage him, and never nag him.
I want to encourage all of you.
I dont miss the smell and he's only been 20 hours quit.
I won't miss the fear associated with dipping.
I want him to feel normal, but I know it will take time.
I want him to embrace the fog so he will remember what it feels like.
I want him to have control over his life.
I want to live a long full life with him.
I cant wait to be the fiancee of a January 2012 Hall of Famer!!
kmm125-2 He said the fog has started, it will be a long day today as it will be his first full day! Thank you to all of you for encouraging and loving him :)
-
well just rememember when he gets all pissy you send him here sos he can bitch at us and not you.
and wach out cuz some guys round here may give him more lovin then you mite want him to get. lucky you cuz gregs gone.
-
I would suggest you read this if you have not already. Tell him we are here to help.
http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spouse.asp)
-
kmm,
I am on day 154 today. Outside of KTC (and this awesome support), my wife has been my #1 support. During the first part of my quit, when it was the roughest, my wife and I would sit and talk and have what we called a "POW WOW", she would remind me of what I have accomplished, and would bring up all the positives in my life and the negatives of when I was using dip. These POW WOW's would help a lot. Remind him of his BLESSINGS and help him to see the HOPE beyond the pain.
I am on day 154 and it is 95% better and continues to get better.
LL
-
I am the fiancee of a January 2012 quitter.
I am so proud of him, and everyone on this site.
I feel as though I need this site almost as much as him.
I want to encourage him, and never nag him.
I want to encourage all of you.
I dont miss the smell and he's only been 20 hours quit.
I won't miss the fear associated with dipping.
I want him to feel normal, but I know it will take time.
I want him to embrace the fog so he will remember what it feels like.
I want him to have control over his life.
I want to live a long full life with him.
I cant wait to be the fiancee of a January 2012 Hall of Famer!!
kmm125-2 He said the fog has started, it will be a long day today as it will be his first full day! Thank you to all of you for encouraging and loving him :)
Your role is pretty simple:
1) Tell him you are proud of him
2) Encourage him that he can do this no matter how tough it gets
3) Distract him with lots of sex
:D
-
nice to have you here.
here's my advice:
let this be his quit. no pressure, no nagging, no constant questions.
i just posted on another intro that you have to decide that dipping just isn't something you do anymore. the new you ain't interested in the can.
you also have to act like the new him is set in stone. constant worrying, questions, comments, etc can just remind him that this new him is NEW. so you will have to 100% trust him as a man of his word that he's not dipping.
now, you're also dealing with an addict; a junkie. no one in their right mind is going to 100% trust an addict right away. so you trust, but you quietly verify. watch him, log on to KTC to see if he's posted roll like a good boy, kiss him a lot. women are good at being sneaky... it shouldn't be a problem. :)
go out of your way to help him if he asks, but let him own this. YOU can't be the reason he quits. it has to come from within. it the reason is external, the quit will fail because that external reason will not always be there to remind him why he's fighting.
again, thanks for being here. you're already showing great support.
-
I am the fiancee of a January 2012 quitter.
I am so proud of him, and everyone on this site.
I feel as though I need this site almost as much as him.
I want to encourage him, and never nag him.
I want to encourage all of you.
I dont miss the smell and he's only been 20 hours quit.
I won't miss the fear associated with dipping.
I want him to feel normal, but I know it will take time.
I want him to embrace the fog so he will remember what it feels like.
I want him to have control over his life.
I want to live a long full life with him.
I cant wait to be the fiancee of a January 2012 Hall of Famer!!
kmm125-2 He said the fog has started, it will be a long day today as it will be his first full day! Thank you to all of you for encouraging and loving him :)
Your role is pretty simple:
1) Tell him you are proud of him
2) Encourage him that he can do this no matter how tough it gets
3) Distract him with lots of sex
:D
In my case number 3 was instrumental in my quit. In fact 1 and 2 drove me nuts. I didn't even want to see my wife most times... Except for while number 3 was active. :P
-
I am the fiancee of a January 2012 quitter.
I am so proud of him, and everyone on this site.
I feel as though I need this site almost as much as him.
I want to encourage him, and never nag him.
I want to encourage all of you.
I dont miss the smell and he's only been 20 hours quit.
I won't miss the fear associated with dipping.
I want him to feel normal, but I know it will take time.
I want him to embrace the fog so he will remember what it feels like.
I want him to have control over his life.
I want to live a long full life with him.
I cant wait to be the fiancee of a January 2012 Hall of Famer!!
kmm125-2 He said the fog has started, it will be a long day today as it will be his first full day! Thank you to all of you for encouraging and loving him :)
Your role is pretty simple:
1) Tell him you are proud of him
2) Encourage him that he can do this no matter how tough it gets
3) Distract him with lots of sex
:D
In my case number 3 was instrumental in my quit. In fact 1 and 2 drove me nuts. I didn't even want to see my wife most times... Except for while number 3 was active. :P
You notdeadyet are a freaking genius. This may be the best piece of advice I have ever read.
-
KMM I want to personally thank you for being supportive of your man. You have done an incredible thing for his quit. You have solidified his chances to getting quit and staying quit.
-
Thank you to everyone for your words of encouragement for me and for my fiancee :) I am reading all that I can so that I can be the best support person ever! I already told him that I forgive him in advance for all the times that he is going to be mean to me through this journey :) He is now 32 hours quit and I couldnt be more proud of him! Keep up the good fight everyone!!!
-
I echo all the sentiments and add this. For years my wife has been bugging the shit out of me to quit. Now that I'm finally taking control and quitting for ME, she seems disinterested. I tell her what day I'm on and she'll say "you're still on this quit thing?" This may be because she has grown apathetic toward my feeble attempts at quitting.
Please don't be apathetic about your man's quit. It's a huge accomplish and slaying this dragon is like no other accomplishment in the world. Be supportive, be firm, but most of all be interested.
-
I echo all the sentiments and add this. For years my wife has been bugging the shit out of me to quit. Now that I'm finally taking control and quitting for ME, she seems disinterested. I tell her what day I'm on and she'll say "you're still on this quit thing?" This may be because she has grown apathetic toward my feeble attempts at quitting.
Please don't be apathetic about your man's quit. It's a huge accomplish and slaying this dragon is like no other accomplishment in the world. Be supportive, be firm, but most of all be interested.
I can understand her side, in a "Cry Wolf" sort of way. The difference for me is that I have never been with Jim during a quit attempt. So this is new to me. And so happy that this is a REAL quit. He is doing awesome! Thanks for encouraging him :)
-
I echo all the sentiments and add this. For years my wife has been bugging the shit out of me to quit. Now that I'm finally taking control and quitting for ME, she seems disinterested. I tell her what day I'm on and she'll say "you're still on this quit thing?" This may be because she has grown apathetic toward my feeble attempts at quitting.
Please don't be apathetic about your man's quit. It's a huge accomplish and slaying this dragon is like no other accomplishment in the world. Be supportive, be firm, but most of all be interested.
I can understand her side, in a "Cry Wolf" sort of way. The difference for me is that I have never been with Jim during a quit attempt. So this is new to me. And so happy that this is a REAL quit. He is doing awesome! Thanks for encouraging him :)
The reason this site works is because of the support. When you have that support at home it just makes it all the more effective. Keep up the work.
-
I echo all the sentiments and add this. For years my wife has been bugging the shit out of me to quit. Now that I'm finally taking control and quitting for ME, she seems disinterested. I tell her what day I'm on and she'll say "you're still on this quit thing?" This may be because she has grown apathetic toward my feeble attempts at quitting.
Please don't be apathetic about your man's quit. It's a huge accomplish and slaying this dragon is like no other accomplishment in the world. Be supportive, be firm, but most of all be interested.
I can understand her side, in a "Cry Wolf" sort of way. The difference for me is that I have never been with Jim during a quit attempt. So this is new to me. And so happy that this is a REAL quit. He is doing awesome! Thanks for encouraging him :)
The reason this site works is because of the support. When you have that support at home it just makes it all the more effective. Keep up the work.
Thanks Scowick! You have been a huge encouragement to us already. I just read your HOF speech. WOW...was all I could say. I told Jim he needs to read it, but he is falling asleep (which makes the quit easier).... so he will read it tomorrow!
-
I am the fiancee of a January 2012 quitter.
I am so proud of him, and everyone on this site.
I feel as though I need this site almost as much as him.
I want to encourage him, and never nag him.
I want to encourage all of you.
I dont miss the smell and he's only been 20 hours quit.
I won't miss the fear associated with dipping.
I want him to feel normal, but I know it will take time.
I want him to embrace the fog so he will remember what it feels like.
I want him to have control over his life.
I want to live a long full life with him.
I cant wait to be the fiancee of a January 2012 Hall of Famer!!
kmm125-2 He said the fog has started, it will be a long day today as it will be his first full day! Thank you to all of you for encouraging and loving him :)
Your role is pretty simple:
1) Tell him you are proud of him
2) Encourage him that he can do this no matter how tough it gets
3) Distract him with lots of sex
:D
Especially the #3!! Great way to fight craves!
-
As Jim approaches double digits in his QUIT tomorrow, I have noticed a few things.
First and foremost, you have to DECIDE to quit. And you have to do it for YOU..nobody else. I am like the biggest advocate for this website. I work in an office and two of the three guys in my office chew. They know Jim has QUIT. When I was telling a co-worker about the site and about the quit, he said "Oh, I quit once for 6 months. Just to prove to my wife that I am not addicted". To which I replied "You didn't quit, you stopped, knowing that you were going to dip again". He said that he can't quit, he has to have the oral fixation. I told him that he could quit. It is a decision. But he needs support. I emailed him the website address. Who knows.
Secondly, this site works. Period. If you do what you are told...you will succeed. Jim and I are doing Weight Watchers. It is the same thing. If you follow the program, you WILL lose weight. Period.
So I encourage all of you....please post roll daily (and early). These guys know what they are talking about!! I see the pattern of the cavers!!!!!
Stay QUIT...today...
-
As Jim approaches double digits in his QUIT tomorrow, I have noticed a few things.
First and foremost, you have to DECIDE to quit. And you have to do it for YOU..nobody else. I am like the biggest advocate for this website. I work in an office and two of the three guys in my office chew. They know Jim has QUIT. When I was telling a co-worker about the site and about the quit, he said "Oh, I quit once for 6 months. Just to prove to my wife that I am not addicted". To which I replied "You didn't quit, you stopped, knowing that you were going to dip again". He said that he can't quit, he has to have the oral fixation. I told him that he could quit. It is a decision. But he needs support. I emailed him the website address. Who knows.
Secondly, this site works. Period. If you do what you are told...you will succeed. Jim and I are doing Weight Watchers. It is the same thing. If you follow the program, you WILL lose weight. Period.
So I encourage all of you....please post roll daily (and early). These guys know what they are talking about!! I see the pattern of the cavers!!!!!
Stay QUIT...today...
Please don't alarm your husband...but I think I'm in love.
If your husband has his head in the same place, this is a very good thing. I'm real happy for both of you. This is really great to hear.
Keep fighting! Be who you're meant to be.
-
It makes me so very SAD. Looking back at the brothers and sisters that joined and commited to this quit around the same time Jim did. Only to never be seen or heard from again. As Jim has crossed the 2 week mark, and I have seen what he has gone through (as well as all the other QUITTERS on this site) I just urge ALL of you to keep at it! Please don't give up after a day or 2. This is so hard! But...if Jim can do it...and all these other QUITTERS can do it....so can you!!! You are no more special or addicted than anyone here. I don't care how long you have dipped. Please post roll every day...it is the secret to staying QUIT! Get rid of the "ifs" and "tries" and "hopes" and "shoulds" and "wants" and start with the "I am"...Don't try to be a quitter, or hope to be a quitter...BE a QUITTER, and be a QUITTER today. And stay that way until you wake up tomorrow! Then do it again. Your life depends on it!
-
It makes me so very SAD. Looking back at the brothers and sisters that joined and commited to this quit around the same time Jim did. Only to never be seen or heard from again. As Jim has crossed the 2 week mark, and I have seen what he has gone through (as well as all the other QUITTERS on this site) I just urge ALL of you to keep at it! Please don't give up after a day or 2. This is so hard! But...if Jim can do it...and all these other QUITTERS can do it....so can you!!! You are no more special or addicted than anyone here. I don't care how long you have dipped. Please post roll every day...it is the secret to staying QUIT! Get rid of the "ifs" and "tries" and "hopes" and "shoulds" and "wants" and start with the "I am"...Don't try to be a quitter, or hope to be a quitter...BE a QUITTER, and be a QUITTER today. And stay that way until you wake up tomorrow! Then do it again. Your life depends on it!
All great and true.
But who the fuck is Jim?
-
It makes me so very SAD. Looking back at the brothers and sisters that joined and commited to this quit around the same time Jim did. Only to never be seen or heard from again. As Jim has crossed the 2 week mark, and I have seen what he has gone through (as well as all the other QUITTERS on this site) I just urge ALL of you to keep at it! Please don't give up after a day or 2. This is so hard! But...if Jim can do it...and all these other QUITTERS can do it....so can you!!! You are no more special or addicted than anyone here. I don't care how long you have dipped. Please post roll every day...it is the secret to staying QUIT! Get rid of the "ifs" and "tries" and "hopes" and "shoulds" and "wants" and start with the "I am"...Don't try to be a quitter, or hope to be a quitter...BE a QUITTER, and be a QUITTER today. And stay that way until you wake up tomorrow! Then do it again. Your life depends on it!
All great and true.
But who the fuck is Jim?
January Jim = Pokerleader = kmm125 main squeeze
-
Exactly. In a weird way, the suck is really cool. It is the feeling of recovering your freedom. Nobody gets free without earning it. Nobody can cheat, or have someone do it for them. Doesn't matter how rich your daddy is, or who you know. Nobody gets a free pass or hand-out.
The only question is whether you can commit to saving your own life? They call it the suck, because it does. But it is the first great step towards your own freedom...which is really cool.
-
Well....the 30 day mark has arrived. And as advised, I made a dentist appt. for pokerleader and myself. Now mind you, pokerleader has not been to the dentist in, oh say, 20+ years because he was always scared of what they would tell him. We are going in six days. Jim is nervous, scared, nauseated at the thought. However, it MUST be done. So, we look forward to hopefully reporting good news on Thursday, and I will be there to hold his hand (or anything else if it makes him feel better) but it's gonna be a long six days before then!
So for all you newbies...get that dentist appt. scheduled! Your life depends on it!
-
I will be there to hold his hand (or anything else if it makes him feel better)...
That's about the best support a guy could ask for. It just don't get much better than that.
Hope the appointments go great.
-
I remember when I went back to the dentist for the first time. I was scared shitless, did not sleep the night before, felt like I was going to puke, anxiety was off the hook! I had avoided going for the same reasons as everyone else. Afraid of what they would tell me.
At day 30 I drove to the dentist with my heart pounding, felt like I was going to pass out, but I made it there. My dentist was a HOTTIE which was a very nice distraction. Her and all the hygentists were excited about me quitting so they all came by to see me which was SWEET since most of them were hotties too !!
Good news is I got a clean bill of health. It is a GREAT feeling. Go to the dentist and get yourselves checked. You will be glad you did.
STAY QUIT
Greg
-
My dentist was a HOTTIE which was a very nice distraction. Her and all the hygentists were excited about me quitting so they all came by to see me which was SWEET since most of them were hotties too !!
Greg
Great, now you got kmm all worried about pokerleader going to the dentist too! 'crackup'
-
I remember when I went back to the dentist for the first time. I was scared shitless, did not sleep the night before, felt like I was going to puke, anxiety was off the hook! I had avoided going for the same reasons as everyone else. Afraid of what they would tell me.
At day 30 I drove to the dentist with my heart pounding, felt like I was going to pass out, but I made it there. My dentist was a HOTTIE which was a very nice distraction. Her and all the hygentists were excited about me quitting so they all came by to see me which was SWEET since most of them were hotties too !!
Good news is I got a clean bill of health. It is a GREAT feeling. Go to the dentist and get yourselves checked. You will be glad you did.
STAY QUIT
Greg
Greg....please PM me the name of your dentist! 'boob'
-
My dentist was a HOTTIE which was a very nice distraction. Her and all the hygentists were excited about me quitting so they all came by to see me which was SWEET since most of them were hotties too !!
Greg
Great, now you got kmm all worried about pokerleader going to the dentist too! 'crackup'
Oh...I'm not gonna be worried. Remember? I am going to be in there holding him!!!! Lol
-
My dentist was a HOTTIE which was a very nice distraction. Her and all the hygentists were excited about me quitting so they all came by to see me which was SWEET since most of them were hotties too !!
Greg
Great, now you got kmm all worried about pokerleader going to the dentist too! 'crackup'
Oh...I'm not gonna be worried. Remember? I am going to be in there holding him!!!! Lol
Are you sure holding "him" is what he wants? 'winker'
-
Whatever it takes to get the check up done.....
:blink:
-
So, today was our dentist visit. Great news! Cancer screening came back clean! We are so very relieved! Pokerleader has a long road ahead of him. 11 fillings, 2 crowns, 1 extraction, some whitening, and a partridge in a pear tree. LOL. NO root canals was also great news!
Thank you to everyone for their encouragement! I never thought in a million years I would ever get him to the dentist, and I don't think I would were it not for the great group of quitters of KTC!
If you havent made your dentist appt yet, call today! It will be a huge weight off your shoulders!!
Oh, and the dental hygenist was very cute, that helped him also!!!
-
holey crap! how much laffin gas did they hafta give him?
-
As I sit here in the waiting room while Jim is in the dental chair, I thought it would be a great time to congratulate my fiancée, Pokerleader, for being 50 days QUIT today!!! Has it been easy? Not always. Has it been worth it? You better believe it! The smell of being quit is amazing! The taste of being quit is awesome! The freedom of being quit...priceless!
****Side note - pokerleader has also lost 18 pounds since he quit :). So happy for him!!!
-
As I sit here in the waiting room while Jim is in the dental chair, I thought it would be a great time to congratulate my fiancée, Pokerleader, for being 50 days QUIT today!!! Has it been easy? Not always. Has it been worth it? You better believe it! The smell of being quit is amazing! The taste of being quit is awesome! The freedom of being quit...priceless!
****Side note - pokerleader has also lost 18 pounds since he quit :). So happy for him!!!
Very happy for you and Jim.
-
Congrats to you and Jim. So happy to hear the good news and only hope that the good fortune continues!
-
Congrats to you and Jim. So happy to hear the good news and only hope that the good fortune continues!
Sweet Avatar. Go Pack Go.
-
Congrats to you and Jim. So happy to hear the good news and only hope that the good fortune continues!
Sweet Avatar. Go Pack Go.
Glad there's another cheesehead out there! Big win for the boys last night. Finally an impressive defensive effort. Go Pack Go!
-
As I sit here in the waiting room while Jim is in the dental chair, I thought it would be a great time to congratulate my fiancée, Pokerleader, for being 50 days QUIT today!!! Has it been easy? Not always. Has it been worth it? You better believe it! The smell of being quit is amazing! The taste of being quit is awesome! The freedom of being quit...priceless!
****Side note - pokerleader has also lost 18 pounds since he quit :). So happy for him!!!
This made my night.
Congratulations to you both.