KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Eor2012 on June 04, 2012, 05:03:00 AM
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I have only been dipping for 3.5 years, which by my terms is too long. I remember the first time it was Skoal berry that I took from a room mate at the time and I think there were maybe 6-8 little pieces of it... Anyways my time in service is about to be up an I always told myself I would be quit by the time I get out and then I realized its tougher than I thought. I promised myself that I would quit on the first of June. Then I promised myself that I would quit on the second... Then I promised myself I would quit after my can went empty... it went empty today at 1300... I like the idea of just quitting one day at a time I saw from Suck-it. I have "quit" before and would count the days and begin to think "next week will be 30 days". Focusing too much on where I will be in a week shows me where I am not today and makes it tougher.. So I guess i'll see you tomorrow... Nic free.
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Eor, your getting a good start! Thanks for your service. Forget all those past attempts and plans! Only today matters. Go to live chat if you are still there, I can't sleep either so we can talk.
Go to the welcome center and read how to post roll, you will be in September. Guess I just missed ya so we'll catch up later . Welcome to the circus called quit!
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Welcome Eor2012. Looks like we are quit on the same day. There is no time like the present. Sept 12 is our 100 day mark, I will be riding the rollercoaster of withdrawals, head games, and strength with you. If you need anything, you let me know.
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Hi KTC,
I was a member about a year ago. Actually, I think it was about 1 year ago I began my quit and I was in the September group for 2012. Believe it or not, I made it to my 100 days but none of you would have known because I (foolishly) stopped posting around day 70 or 80. I just got arrogant and was sick of logging on, thinking "I got this, who needs it?". I stayed quit past 100.
It was around October that I broke. I am a huge fan of cigars and I decided one couldn't hurt, and I didn't think it did for a while. A few weeks later, on my way home from work I thought about how nice it would be to grab a dip and drive around, enjoying the fall weather. One single pinch couldn't hurt, right? Soon I was stumbling down the mentality of "one 'more' can won't hurt" and "I'll quit after this weekend since it's going to be busy and I don't want the fog". Not sure why it took this long to finally realize I am an idiot. I had a mouth sore which initially scared me, but instead of talking myself out of fear I embraced it and starting telling myself I was going to die. Needless to say I went the whole day without another dip.
That was 3 days ago.
Here I am on day 3 of my quit, trying to push through the final day of nicotine in system. It's proving difficult, but I know I have done it before and I know I can do it again. I know where I messed up last time, and therefore how to prevent it from happening again. I thought about coming to KTC the day I started, but was worried my will might break and would let you guys down (aka being a pu55y). The way I see it, at this point there is no turning back. In a matter of hours the nicotine will be clear of my system and in a few weeks I will be on the fast track for a successful quit. If I cave now I will just be setting myself back, and f that.
I wish I could remember my old username so I could get the bitching from my old group. It was the group with sirsanchez who would only make it a day or two. I think Shane was the unofficial group leader. I asked a few of you about becoming an attorney as that was what I wanted to go to school for (I start in two months).
Anyways, sorry it's a long re introduction, but this time I won't puss out. This quit is for real.
Matt
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
Alright, well I guess idk wtf to do cause I won't know how to tell them what my old UN is since I don't remember it, nor do I remember the email I would have used to sign up. So ban me
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relax a min the mods will find you.
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Coming back is the important part-
Glad to quit with you today
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You were in September of 12 group? Go to that group and start at the first post and work your way back until you see your screen name.
Sounds funny to me, but I am sure the mods will figure it out for you. you can do the research, just start from the back. Then once your back you will need to go make amends with September of 12.
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This guy must have been in you alls good graces...i can go back to a few guys threads where it was basically, "get the fuck out" kind of deal when they came back ...i.e scott macek...anyhow, quit on ya'll...just a little perplexed
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You were in September of 12 group? Go to that group and start at the first post and work your way back until you see your screen name.
Sounds funny to me, but I am sure the mods will figure it out for you. you can do the research, just start from the back. Then once your back you will need to go make amends with September of 12.
Hazmat,
Were you Eor2012 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showuser=15308)?
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You were in September of 12 group? Go to that group and start at the first post and work your way back until you see your screen name.
Sounds funny to me, but I am sure the mods will figure it out for you. you can do the research, just start from the back. Then once your back you will need to go make amends with September of 12.
Hazmat,
Were you Eor2012 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showuser=15308)?
Yeah, just found it, thanks.
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This guy must have been in you alls good graces...i can go back to a few guys threads where it was basically, "get the fuck out" kind of deal when they came back ...i.e scott macek...anyhow, quit on ya'll...just a little perplexed
Give it time. It will come.
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bump
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This guy must have been in you alls good graces...i can go back to a few guys threads where it was basically, "get the fuck out" kind of deal when they came back ...i.e scott macek...anyhow, quit on ya'll...just a little perplexed
Nah, just letting him find his true self so the ass lashing can begin!
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
Alright, well I guess idk wtf to do cause I won't know how to tell them what my old UN is since I don't remember it, nor do I remember the email I would have used to sign up. So ban me
I found it in 15 seconds looking at the Sept. 2012 spreadsheet just like Evil did.
Good job sticking it out and making that extra effort. I'm sure you'll be an amazing addition to any quit group you get added to this time.
"I will be on the fast track for a successful quit" You already failed. There is no fast track.
I am September 2012. I am 375 days quit. I own my quit.
You suck.
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I thought about how nice it would be to grab a dip and drive around, enjoying the fall weather.
You clearly didn't learn anything the first time you were here. NEVER AGAIN NOT FOR ANY REASON. You ignored that because you let the nic bitch tell you that the leaves are changing colors and this fall weather is so pretty and would be better with a dip. Wrong, she lied to you.
Your story is a reminder that we are all one stupid decesion away from dip. That is why I stick around here and post daily. It reminds me that I am an addict. I can never forget that; the day I do is the day I fail.
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
Alright, well I guess idk wtf to do cause I won't know how to tell them what my old UN is since I don't remember it, nor do I remember the email I would have used to sign up. So ban me
I found it in 15 seconds looking at the Sept. 2012 spreadsheet just like Evil did.
Good job sticking it out and making that extra effort. I'm sure you'll be an amazing addition to any quit group you get added to this time.
"I will be on the fast track for a successful quit" You already failed. There is no fast track.
I am September 2012. I am 375 days quit. I own my quit.
You suck.
I'll send this to GMANN. You know his rules for reinstatement......
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
Alright, well I guess idk wtf to do cause I won't know how to tell them what my old UN is since I don't remember it, nor do I remember the email I would have used to sign up. So ban me
I found it in 15 seconds looking at the Sept. 2012 spreadsheet just like Evil did.
Good job sticking it out and making that extra effort. I'm sure you'll be an amazing addition to any quit group you get added to this time.
"I will be on the fast track for a successful quit" You already failed. There is no fast track.
I am September 2012. I am 375 days quit. I own my quit.
You suck.
I'll send this to GMANN. You know his rules for reinstatement......
shocking - blow my hair back ...... You gotta be the first 'post and go' player/caver/dropout to come back with a freakin attitude
STFU loose the 'tude
Answer
(1) What happened?
(2) Why did it happen?
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
Drink the Kool-Aid and protect your damn quit
Not rocket science but it does take work
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You need to contact a MOD or ADMIN and get your old screen name back before you proceed.
I am not certain how that would help, or why it would matter. It was something like Eor or sailor or along those lines.
Because it's against the rules to sign on with a different screen name, thats why
Board Guidelines 2) Multiple aliases will not be tolerated. Violators will be banned immediately
enough said
Alright, well I guess idk wtf to do cause I won't know how to tell them what my old UN is since I don't remember it, nor do I remember the email I would have used to sign up. So ban me
I found it in 15 seconds looking at the Sept. 2012 spreadsheet just like Evil did.
Good job sticking it out and making that extra effort. I'm sure you'll be an amazing addition to any quit group you get added to this time.
"I will be on the fast track for a successful quit" You already failed. There is no fast track.
I am September 2012. I am 375 days quit. I own my quit.
You suck.
I'll send this to GMANN. You know his rules for reinstatement......
shocking - blow my hair back ...... You gotta be the first 'post and go' player/caver/dropout to come back with a freakin attitude
STFU loose the 'tude
Answer
(1) What happened?
(2) Why did it happen?
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
Drink the Kool-Aid and protect your damn quit
Not rocket science but it does take work
I heart accountability. This is why this place works. :wub:
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Earned success is almost priceless. So is your reputation. Start building it now.
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Earned success is almost priceless. So is your reputation. Start building it now.
Character and Integrity!!!
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your old username (Eor2012) and a new password have been PM to you. Please don't log in as Hazmat again. Your "New" intro has been combine with your original intro that you created last June.
Now, start rebuilding your character, get to quitting, and answer the questions about your failure to your new group and also to September 2012
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
These are generic answers! Dig deep and explain a little further. It's to help you as well as to help newer guys understand further.
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
If this were graded you would get an F for failure to give a fuck and apply yourself. You will not succeed without putting more effort into your quit!
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
I remember you Eor, you said some badass shit. You see where it got you? If I remember correct, your were/are in the navy, young fellow? Sounds like you got caught up in yourself, take a step back, you're not a pussy, yet you failed? Arrogance my friend, there's no room for it, you're an addict and you need to learn that as an addict you can never let your guard down. There's no time frame on how long you should stay here, just long enough to understand your addiction and how to handle it. For some, it's a couple hundred, hell some will never leave. But for the time being, I need you to do a couple things 1- go post roll, understand really why we do it. 2- do some reading around here 3- reach out and get your battle buddies, stay close to them 4- summon some of that inner badassery that you and I both knows exist and kick the nic bitch's ass ODAAT
That's all I got, quit today
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
I remember you Eor, you said some badass shit. You see where it got you? If I remember correct, your were/are in the navy, young fellow? Sounds like you got caught up in yourself, take a step back, you're not a pussy, yet you failed? Arrogance my friend, there's no room for it, you're an addict and you need to learn that as an addict you can never let your guard down. There's no time frame on how long you should stay here, just long enough to understand your addiction and how to handle it. For some, it's a couple hundred, hell some will never leave. But for the time being, I need you to do a couple things 1- go post roll, understand really why we do it. 2- do some reading around here 3- reach out and get your battle buddies, stay close to them 4- summon some of that inner badassery that you and I both knows exist and kick the nic bitch's ass ODAAT
That's all I got, quit today
Hey Bruce.
I don't actually know how to post roll. The latest groups I can find are the 2012 groups, which obviously isn't where I would post roll. Did they move where to find them, or are they locked?
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(1) What happened?
Left KTC and allowed myself to believe in the 'one more won't hurt' falsehood.
(2) Why did it happen?
When I stopped being accountable to KTC, I soon stopped being accountable to myself.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
I know how and why I failed, and will not fall in to the same trap.
Oh, and it wasn't an attitude. It was simply saying ban me since I violated rules.
I remember you Eor, you said some badass shit. You see where it got you? If I remember correct, your were/are in the navy, young fellow? Sounds like you got caught up in yourself, take a step back, you're not a pussy, yet you failed? Arrogance my friend, there's no room for it, you're an addict and you need to learn that as an addict you can never let your guard down. There's no time frame on how long you should stay here, just long enough to understand your addiction and how to handle it. For some, it's a couple hundred, hell some will never leave. But for the time being, I need you to do a couple things 1- go post roll, understand really why we do it. 2- do some reading around here 3- reach out and get your battle buddies, stay close to them 4- summon some of that inner badassery that you and I both knows exist and kick the nic bitch's ass ODAAT
That's all I got, quit today
Hey Bruce.
I don't actually know how to post roll. The latest groups I can find are the 2012 groups, which obviously isn't where I would post roll. Did they move where to find them, or are they locked?
Go to quit groups and scroll down. October 13 is your new group
index.php?showtopic=8419 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=8419)
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Less standard:
(1) What happened?
I decided to have 'one cigar', followed by 'just one dip', then 'just one can', then 'just one (and so forth)'
(2) Why did it happen?
Because I was weak. I lost the accountability to myself because I had stopped being accountable to you guys. I allowed myself to forget what those first 20 days felt like, and then the next 80. Worst of all, I forgot how GOOD day 100 felt.
I sort of wish I could say I was drinking, or otherwise intoxicated, but I was stone cold sober when I made the conscious decision to dip. In retrospect I could have easily gotten over that craving. They were so much easier to get rid of at that point. No pacing across the floor or desperately seeking seeds or another form of spit material, just had to think them away. I just gave in because I felt like I didn't have to answer to anyone if I dipped 'just this once' cause it was no big deal. Wrong.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
Remembering every step of this journey in grave detail. Yesterday was day 3 and I had to drive quite a distance and it was pretty terrible trying to concentrate on where I was going. Also remember the drain that dipping this past year has been on my life, such as when I had to take an entrance exam and after hour two of a 5 hour test all I could think about was dip. Needless to say, I performed less than exceptionally.
Also, refusing to lose accountability, both to the site and to myself.
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Less standard:
(1) What happened?
I decided to have 'one cigar', followed by 'just one dip', then 'just one can', then 'just one (and so forth)'
(2) Why did it happen?
Because I was weak. I lost the accountability to myself because I had stopped being accountable to you guys. I allowed myself to forget what those first 20 days felt like, and then the next 80. Worst of all, I forgot how GOOD day 100 felt.
I sort of wish I could say I was drinking, or otherwise intoxicated, but I was stone cold sober when I made the conscious decision to dip. In retrospect I could have easily gotten over that craving. They were so much easier to get rid of at that point. No pacing across the floor or desperately seeking seeds or another form of spit material, just had to think them away. I just gave in because I felt like I didn't have to answer to anyone if I dipped 'just this once' cause it was no big deal. Wrong.
(3) What are you doing differently this time?
Remembering every step of this journey in grave detail. Yesterday was day 3 and I had to drive quite a distance and it was pretty terrible trying to concentrate on where I was going. Also remember the drain that dipping this past year has been on my life, such as when I had to take an entrance exam and after hour two of a 5 hour test all I could think about was dip. Needless to say, I performed less than exceptionally.
Also, refusing to lose accountability, both to the site and to myself.
Good job posting roll.
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I'm not sure if I slept last night. I think I was in a half daze most of the night. Now I feel exhausted and full of cold sweats.
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I'm not sure if I slept last night. I think I was in a half daze most of the night. Now I feel exhausted and full of cold sweats.
BUMP
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I'm not sure if I slept last night. I think I was in a half daze most of the night. Now I feel exhausted and full of cold sweats.
BUMP
Why was this bumped?
Eor is just enjoying his second go around in the suck, he's posted up today thou
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I'm not sure if I slept last night. I think I was in a half daze most of the night. Now I feel exhausted and full of cold sweats.
BUMP
Why was this bumped?
Eor is just enjoying his second go around in the suck, he's posted up today thou
One day at a time, if not, one hour at a time, if not, one minute at a time, if not 1 breath at a time. Normal will come if you never give in.
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Dear quit,
It's day 8 and I'm getting pretty sick of the fog. Also, what the fuck is up with the lack of erm..... Interest, if you know what I mean.... I know it's possible to beat you since I've done it before, but I'm sick of you. You're reminding me how much I hate myself for caving after 100+ days. These seeds are destroying my mouth (but not as bad as chew), and I cant wait to be able to feel like I'm quit again.
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Dear quit,
It's day 8 and I'm getting pretty sick of the fog. Also, what the fuck is up with the lack of erm..... Interest, if you know what I mean.... I know it's possible to beat you since I've done it before, but I'm sick of you. You're reminding me how much I hate myself for caving after 100+ days. These seeds are destroying my mouth (but not as bad as chew), and I cant wait to be able to feel like I'm quit again.
I feel for you bro. To go through this twice,, I don't even want to think about it. There is a lot of things i say to newbies to help them along, but i feel That the things i say you have probably been there done that.. I'm glad to see you have come back.
Stay the course, you know things get better. Nafar and odaat. I'm glad to quit with you today brother.
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Dear quit,
It's day 8 and I'm getting pretty sick of the fog. Also, what the fuck is up with the lack of erm..... Interest, if you know what I mean.... I know it's possible to beat you since I've done it before, but I'm sick of you. You're reminding me how much I hate myself for caving after 100+ days. These seeds are destroying my mouth (but not as bad as chew), and I cant wait to be able to feel like I'm quit again.
I feel for you bro. To go through this twice,, I don't even want to think about it. There is a lot of things i say to newbies to help them along, but i feel That the things i say you have probably been there done that.. I'm glad to see you have come back.
Stay the course, you know things get better. Nafar and odaat. I'm glad to quit with you today brother.
not to be a dick but do you see why now it was important to bring your old screen name forward again? NAFAR!!!! you are in the suck and fog you have been here before keep it together the best you can. You will get to the other side. Make more entries to your thread so that if you ever doubt yourself you can go through own thread and see where you came from which will make where you are going to much easier. Keep fighting Eor never give up.
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Day 9,
I spent today in Canada and barely craved tobacco, but the seductive embrace of nic was around every turn, plastered in bold letter screaming Cuban cigars. A foul temptress, I was able to resist nic by remembering the fog of the past week, as well as allowing a creative imagination persuade me to turn course. If caught with a Cuban cigar I would surely be arrested and beaten by police, thrown in to a maximum security prison, and introduced to my new lovers. A painful thought. Then I accepted that I would almost prefer that over the cancerous death that will surely come if I were not caught.
The ever present lose/lose made me question why I ever began dip, and why I would ever allow myself to use tobacco again. I truly know now that I can never use tobacco again, in any form. I am glad I finally returned to KTC, and this time I would say you're all stuck with me.
PS, something I don't remember from round one.... After brushing my teeth tonight I realized my gums really hurt. Bad. Is this associated with the quit? I considered that maybe it was too many seeds, but I haven't really used them that much.
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Day 12,
The quit is almost at two weeks, but I only look at things one day at a time.
Last night I have a very vivid dip dream. So vivid, I thought I actually dipped and felt awful. The worst part of the dream was I took the dip, and posted roll as if I didn't and lied to you guys. I remember thinking that "if it's just one then no harm no foul, they don't need to know." It was that similar mentality that landed me back here after being stopped for over 100 days this past October. I even remember (in the dream) that I took one dip, and after establishing that if I just have that one its no big deal, that I took another dip. I actually felt the guilty butterflies and anxiety in the dream which is why I thought it was so real. I woke up under the impression it really happened, but wasn't until laying in bed a while that I realized it was a dream. I never use the computer that I used in my dream to get on KTC, so it couldn't have been true, but it damn sure felt like it.
I don't remember having this many dip dreams when I was first quitting. I can go a whole day without craving dip (occasionally), but the nights are getting rough. Thanks to a tip from some of you I have been taking melatonin to aid with the sleep process, but I think maybe that is causing these dreams. I am stuck in purgatory right now, where I either choose to have a restless night where the time passes slowly and I remain unsure of whether or not I actually slept, or I sleep in a dip filled dream where I watch helplessly as I die a slow but sure death.
This October I am going to reach HOF with you bastards, and I will stay quit. Someday I am going to get that "one time won't hurt" mentality when a nice cigar is in my face, or a long drive yearns to have a dip for company. I am going to read this introduction all over from the first post to the last and remember why I am quit. This is the most miserable experience ever, and its 10x worse knowing that I have been here before and like an idiot came back to it.
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This October I am going to reach HOF with you bastards, and I will stay quit. Someday I am going to get that "one time won't hurt" mentality when a nice cigar is in my face, or a long drive yearns to have a dip for company. I am going to read this introduction all over from the first post to the last and remember why I am quit. This is the most miserable experience ever, and its 10x worse knowing that I have been here before and like an idiot came back to it.
You don't get an ODAAT feeling "someday". It's not something that just happens because you're not using.
It happens when you realize that your past is something that can teach you something. Every mistake and failure you (and others) made is nothing but glaring examples of what not to do.
It happens when you realize that your future quit doesn't mean shit if you can't make it out of the "now". We plan to be quit in the future, but we can't make our future selves be quit. All we can do is build a base of quit so strong and so sturdy that nothing can take it down. We have to practice good quitting habits in times of good so that we don't have to even think about our actions in the bad times.
It happens when you realize this moment....this very second...is the only thing that you can control. It happens when you post here while you're craving instead of driving to a convenience store. It happens when you start talking about your brothers here to family members because they are that important in your life. It happens when you reach out to a new quitter just because he may have said something wise or something stupid.
I've been quit 2 years.
I don't rest on my laurels with my quit.
I don't want to be surprised by failure again, and have taken many steps in my life and quit to make sure that I am protecting this quit to the fullest. My moments of ODAAT do not occur when I'm around cigars or buddies chewing. No. My moments of ODAAT are when I post roll....when I reach out to new members....when I reach out to struggling members. My moments of ODAAT are when I spend precious billable time writing in somebody's intro. My moments of ODAAT is dealing with new quitters that have "failure" written on them (through their words and actions) and standing beside them briefly and hoping that they realize their errors.
Don't wait for that moment to come in the future. Deal with the NOW. Tomorrow's going to happen. We can't do anything about it. All we can do is plan for it.
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Day 12,
The quit is almost at two weeks, but I only look at things one day at a time.
Last night I have a very vivid dip dream. So vivid, I thought I actually dipped and felt awful. The worst part of the dream was I took the dip, and posted roll as if I didn't and lied to you guys. I remember thinking that "if it's just one then no harm no foul, they don't need to know." It was that similar mentality that landed me back here after being stopped for over 100 days this past October. I even remember (in the dream) that I took one dip, and after establishing that if I just have that one its no big deal, that I took another dip. I actually felt the guilty butterflies and anxiety in the dream which is why I thought it was so real. I woke up under the impression it really happened, but wasn't until laying in bed a while that I realized it was a dream. I never use the computer that I used in my dream to get on KTC, so it couldn't have been true, but it damn sure felt like it.
I don't remember having this many dip dreams when I was first quitting. I can go a whole day without craving dip (occasionally), but the nights are getting rough. Thanks to a tip from some of you I have been taking melatonin to aid with the sleep process, but I think maybe that is causing these dreams. I am stuck in purgatory right now, where I either choose to have a restless night where the time passes slowly and I remain unsure of whether or not I actually slept, or I sleep in a dip filled dream where I watch helplessly as I die a slow but sure death.
This October I am going to reach HOF with you bastards, and I will stay quit. Someday I am going to get that "one time won't hurt" mentality when a nice cigar is in my face, or a long drive yearns to have a dip for company. I am going to read this introduction all over from the first post to the last and remember why I am quit. This is the most miserable experience ever, and its 10x worse knowing that I have been here before and like an idiot came back to it.
Its funny you mention dip dream, I had one last night also. Same thing pretty much. I was contemplating if I should advice everyone or not after having a cigarette accidently of course. I am never able to figure out how I obtained the cigarette or dip. My integrity is always in question and I never find out the outcome. So glad to wake up after those. Quit with you all day bro.
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This October I am going to reach HOF with you bastards, and I will stay quit. Someday I am going to get that "one time won't hurt" mentality when a nice cigar is in my face, or a long drive yearns to have a dip for company. I am going to read this introduction all over from the first post to the last and remember why I am quit. This is the most miserable experience ever, and its 10x worse knowing that I have been here before and like an idiot came back to it.
You don't get an ODAAT feeling "someday". It's not something that just happens because you're not using.
It happens when you realize that your past is something that can teach you something. Every mistake and failure you (and others) made is nothing but glaring examples of what not to do.
It happens when you realize that your future quit doesn't mean shit if you can't make it out of the "now". We plan to be quit in the future, but we can't make our future selves be quit. All we can do is build a base of quit so strong and so sturdy that nothing can take it down. We have to practice good quitting habits in times of good so that we don't have to even think about our actions in the bad times.
It happens when you realize this moment....this very second...is the only thing that you can control. It happens when you post here while you're craving instead of driving to a convenience store. It happens when you start talking about your brothers here to family members because they are that important in your life. It happens when you reach out to a new quitter just because he may have said something wise or something stupid.
I've been quit 2 years.
I don't rest on my laurels with my quit.
I don't want to be surprised by failure again, and have taken many steps in my life and quit to make sure that I am protecting this quit to the fullest. My moments of ODAAT do not occur when I'm around cigars or buddies chewing. No. My moments of ODAAT are when I post roll....when I reach out to new members....when I reach out to struggling members. My moments of ODAAT are when I spend precious billable time writing in somebody's intro. My moments of ODAAT is dealing with new quitters that have "failure" written on them (through their words and actions) and standing beside them briefly and hoping that they realize their errors.
Don't wait for that moment to come in the future. Deal with the NOW. Tomorrow's going to happen. We can't do anything about it. All we can do is plan for it.
Wow WP that made my spine tingle I got goose bumps from that post that is a huge lesson n it was all free. Pure moving and powerful quit talk.
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This October I am going to reach HOF with you bastards, and I will stay quit. Someday I am going to get that "one time won't hurt" mentality when a nice cigar is in my face, or a long drive yearns to have a dip for company. I am going to read this introduction all over from the first post to the last and remember why I am quit. This is the most miserable experience ever, and its 10x worse knowing that I have been here before and like an idiot came back to it.
You don't get an ODAAT feeling "someday". It's not something that just happens because you're not using.
It happens when you realize that your past is something that can teach you something. Every mistake and failure you (and others) made is nothing but glaring examples of what not to do.
It happens when you realize that your future quit doesn't mean shit if you can't make it out of the "now". We plan to be quit in the future, but we can't make our future selves be quit. All we can do is build a base of quit so strong and so sturdy that nothing can take it down. We have to practice good quitting habits in times of good so that we don't have to even think about our actions in the bad times.
It happens when you realize this moment....this very second...is the only thing that you can control. It happens when you post here while you're craving instead of driving to a convenience store. It happens when you start talking about your brothers here to family members because they are that important in your life. It happens when you reach out to a new quitter just because he may have said something wise or something stupid.
I've been quit 2 years.
I don't rest on my laurels with my quit.
I don't want to be surprised by failure again, and have taken many steps in my life and quit to make sure that I am protecting this quit to the fullest. My moments of ODAAT do not occur when I'm around cigars or buddies chewing. No. My moments of ODAAT are when I post roll....when I reach out to new members....when I reach out to struggling members. My moments of ODAAT are when I spend precious billable time writing in somebody's intro. My moments of ODAAT is dealing with new quitters that have "failure" written on them (through their words and actions) and standing beside them briefly and hoping that they realize their errors.
Don't wait for that moment to come in the future. Deal with the NOW. Tomorrow's going to happen. We can't do anything about it. All we can do is plan for it.
Wow WP that made my spine tingle I got goose bumps from that post that is a huge lesson n it was all free. Pure moving and powerful quit talk.
Yea I hate the dip dreams and am thankful for them at the same time. I hate them cause I wake up in an all out freaking panick lol, love them cause they tell me how I would feel if I caved. A feeling of complete failure and utterly dissatisfied with myself. Keep listening to those dreams, you will not be fulfilled if you cave rather empty and disappointed. I quit with you brother, dream on!
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Day 16,
The period of nightly dip dreams appears to be over. The past few nights have been restless, despite feeling very tired. I have noticed the cravings are getting more intense lately. I felt like the first 12-14 days went without much hitch, fewer cravings than I expected. Now I feel like they come on suddenly and are difficult to get rid of. I wish I had some of the fake stuff, but I am worried about getting some now. I have gone 16 days with minimal use of seeds, and I worry that if I were to start using the fake stuff I would set myself back as far as the oral fixation portion.
I am excited for the next phase of the quit (what the site says occurs post day 20), and I hope it arrives on time. These past days have not been fun.
Eor, don't be an idiot and cave ever again. If time two is harder than time one, time three will be impossible.
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Day 16,
The period of nightly dip dreams appears to be over. The past few nights have been restless, despite feeling very tired. I have noticed the cravings are getting more intense lately. I felt like the first 12-14 days went without much hitch, fewer cravings than I expected. Now I feel like they come on suddenly and are difficult to get rid of. I wish I had some of the fake stuff, but I am worried about getting some now. I have gone 16 days with minimal use of seeds, and I worry that if I were to start using the fake stuff I would set myself back as far as the oral fixation portion.
I am excited for the next phase of the quit (what the site says occurs post day 20), and I hope it arrives on time. These past days have not been fun.
Eor, don't be an idiot and cave ever again. If time two is harder than time one, time three will be impossible.
Hang in Eor! Many of us go through that first intense crave/rage period after the first couple weeks. For me it was around days 20-30. I was so pissed at everything I wanted to take someones head off. It will get better! Keep practicing and building your quit, one day at a time...
ps, I never used fake, but I sure chewed the crap out of altoids, seeds and gum...
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Day 16,
The period of nightly dip dreams appears to be over. The past few nights have been restless, despite feeling very tired. I have noticed the cravings are getting more intense lately. I felt like the first 12-14 days went without much hitch, fewer cravings than I expected. Now I feel like they come on suddenly and are difficult to get rid of. I wish I had some of the fake stuff, but I am worried about getting some now. I have gone 16 days with minimal use of seeds, and I worry that if I were to start using the fake stuff I would set myself back as far as the oral fixation portion.
I am excited for the next phase of the quit (what the site says occurs post day 20), and I hope it arrives on time. These past days have not been fun.
Eor, don't be an idiot and cave ever again. If time two is harder than time one, time three will be impossible.
Hang in Eor! Many of us go through that first intense crave/rage period after the first couple weeks. For me it was around days 20-30. I was so pissed at everything I wanted to take someones head off. It will get better! Keep practicing and building your quit, one day at a time...
ps, I never used fake, but I sure chewed the crap out of altoids, seeds and gum...
I am right there with you EOR. I left the fake stuff because the whole process of opening the can and blah blah... was too much like the dip for my liking. Seemed to make it worse, but I am all about the seeds for now. I figure the nicbitch is enough to slay while we are in these early stages. If seeds help... why not. They will be an easy kill once we have our foot on nics throat. No need to worry about seeds now.
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Day 16,
The period of nightly dip dreams appears to be over. The past few nights have been restless, despite feeling very tired. I have noticed the cravings are getting more intense lately. I felt like the first 12-14 days went without much hitch, fewer cravings than I expected. Now I feel like they come on suddenly and are difficult to get rid of. I wish I had some of the fake stuff, but I am worried about getting some now. I have gone 16 days with minimal use of seeds, and I worry that if I were to start using the fake stuff I would set myself back as far as the oral fixation portion.
I am excited for the next phase of the quit (what the site says occurs post day 20), and I hope it arrives on time. These past days have not been fun.
Eor, don't be an idiot and cave ever again. If time two is harder than time one, time three will be impossible.
Hang in Eor! Many of us go through that first intense crave/rage period after the first couple weeks. For me it was around days 20-30. I was so pissed at everything I wanted to take someones head off. It will get better! Keep practicing and building your quit, one day at a time...
ps, I never used fake, but I sure chewed the crap out of altoids, seeds and gum...
I am right there with you EOR. I left the fake stuff because the whole process of opening the can and blah blah... was too much like the dip for my liking. Seemed to make it worse, but I am all about the seeds for now. I figure the nicbitch is enough to slay while we are in these early stages. If seeds help... why not. They will be an easy kill once we have our foot on nics throat. No need to worry about seeds now.
Seeds, gum, hard candy- I also decided that using fake stuff would be too much like the real thing- I would rather break completely free from all the trappings- its good a damn fine day to be free, dont ya' think? Keep on quitting EDD
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Day 16,
The period of nightly dip dreams appears to be over. The past few nights have been restless, despite feeling very tired. I have noticed the cravings are getting more intense lately. I felt like the first 12-14 days went without much hitch, fewer cravings than I expected. Now I feel like they come on suddenly and are difficult to get rid of. I wish I had some of the fake stuff, but I am worried about getting some now. I have gone 16 days with minimal use of seeds, and I worry that if I were to start using the fake stuff I would set myself back as far as the oral fixation portion.
I am excited for the next phase of the quit (what the site says occurs post day 20), and I hope it arrives on time. These past days have not been fun.
Eor, don't be an idiot and cave ever again. If time two is harder than time one, time three will be impossible.
Hang in Eor! Many of us go through that first intense crave/rage period after the first couple weeks. For me it was around days 20-30. I was so pissed at everything I wanted to take someones head off. It will get better! Keep practicing and building your quit, one day at a time...
ps, I never used fake, but I sure chewed the crap out of altoids, seeds and gum...
I am right there with you EOR. I left the fake stuff because the whole process of opening the can and blah blah... was too much like the dip for my liking. Seemed to make it worse, but I am all about the seeds for now. I figure the nicbitch is enough to slay while we are in these early stages. If seeds help... why not. They will be an easy kill once we have our foot on nics throat. No need to worry about seeds now.
Seeds, gum, hard candy- I also decided that using fake stuff would be too much like the real thing- I would rather break completely free from all the trappings- its good a damn fine day to be free, dont ya' think? Keep on quitting EDD
I like your attitude. Keep posting. Lean on me if you need some help.
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
And this is why the saying is true...
" Nothing in life worth having is easy!"
We did this to ourselves and it takes a lot of pain to right the damage we have caused! You are doing well and it DOES get better! Keep going!
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Hey Eor2012,
I, similar to you, am on day 26. To somewhat comfort you in knowing you're not alone, I am quite miserable also at times fighting with my subconscious bitch telling me its OK. Had no caffeine today, I am still quite jittery feeling that something is missing.
The brain doesn't quite know how to function without its fix. It needs to re learn how to operate.
The veterans promise it does get easier with time
Hang in there, stay quit with us.
-Ross8yrs
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Also found this link quite helpful to, "see the light at the end of the tunnel" I suppose.
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Hey Eor2012,
I, similar to you, am on day 26. To somewhat comfort you in knowing you're not alone, I am quite miserable also at times fighting with my subconscious bitch telling me its OK. Had no caffeine today, I am still quite jittery feeling that something is missing.
The brain doesn't quite know how to function without its fix. It needs to re learn how to operate.
The veterans promise it does get easier with time
Hang in there, stay quit with us.
-Ross8yrs
Be very carful here in the 20's! This is where the brain tries to tell you that you have made it far enough to handle an occasional dip! It's a lie! I tried it and it did not work. Many others here have tried as well. One is too many and a thousand is never enough! Stay the course and you will get thru this minor funk. And then after a few weeks a new funk may start. And you will be even stronger to fight that one!
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Also found this link quite helpful to, "see the light at the end of the tunnel" I suppose.
http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp)
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
That's good stuff man! You called it right - it is hard as fuck - it's also so worth it. Glad to see you've recorded the suck, makes it harder to forget. Reading this post of yours should be part of your quit plan man. 24 days in, 24 days of freedom, 24 days of suck. If you fail to quit are you ready to re-do those 24 days? Sound good? I know I don't ever want to go through another day 3. Knowing that helps keep me strong.
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
That's good stuff man! You called it right - it is hard as fuck - it's also so worth it. Glad to see you've recorded the suck, makes it harder to forget. Reading this post of yours should be part of your quit plan man. 24 days in, 24 days of freedom, 24 days of suck. If you fail to quit are you ready to re-do those 24 days? Sound good? I know I don't ever want to go through another day 3. Knowing that helps keep me strong.
Nice post. Stay strong today. If u are thinking about buying some fake chew cuz it will help then do it. If it don't help then throw it out. I thought the same way about it being too close. It isn't. It is just something to keep u occupied. Fake dip won't make u cave. You are the only thing that can make yourself cave. You sound locked in to me. Stay on it. I am quit with you.
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
That's good stuff man! You called it right - it is hard as fuck - it's also so worth it. Glad to see you've recorded the suck, makes it harder to forget. Reading this post of yours should be part of your quit plan man. 24 days in, 24 days of freedom, 24 days of suck. If you fail to quit are you ready to re-do those 24 days? Sound good? I know I don't ever want to go through another day 3. Knowing that helps keep me strong.
Nice post. Stay strong today. If u are thinking about buying some fake chew cuz it will help then do it. If it don't help then throw it out. I thought the same way about it being too close. It isn't. It is just something to keep u occupied. Fake dip won't make u cave. You are the only thing that can make yourself cave. You sound locked in to me. Stay on it. I am quit with you.
Things started to improve for me about where you are. She knows you are serious and boy is she pissed! Hang tight. Things are about to improve as I said. Fu nic.
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Day 24,
DAMNIT today sucks...
The cravings are getting pretty bad. I am not falling in to the idea of "one more won't hurt", but instead the "it sucks so bad why am I doing this to myself, I can just dip". I find my subconscious saying how I am young, I haven't dipped long so I am not at any real risk right now. It's never going to change, every day for the rest of my life is going to be like the past week has been, so why not just dip and enjoy life?
Then my conscious mind kicks my subconscious in the nuts and I know better. The problem is, this fucking sucks. This is so miserable right now. Like a mother soothes a crying child, my sub mind wants the embrace of the nic bitch to calm it. It's ripping my reality apart.
At day 24 I know this isn't nic in my system, but instead my mind playing tricks on itself. Due to the habits I formed I can't work without craving a chew. I told myself I wouldn't use the fake stuff out of fear it may seem too real and result in a cave, but now I wonder if I should get some for moments like this. Seeds have created a tremendous amount of pain in my mouth from the salt on the healing wounds, and my jaw is killing me from gum mixed with TMJ issues. I believe the issue at hand is no longer the desire to have the chemical and drug in my system, however it's the act of placing something in that little socket between lip and gum and spitting in to the bottle.
Sigh.... What a trip this has been.
Eor ... Remember this day. This has been going on for several days, and if this is not the worse day then remember tomorrow and the next.
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF. You're an idiot and an addict. When you read this next you will still be an addict, and probably an idiot too, but neither reason is good enough to cave.
Remember WHY you wanted to stay tobacco free.
Sincerely,
Your stupid self.
That's good stuff man! You called it right - it is hard as fuck - it's also so worth it. Glad to see you've recorded the suck, makes it harder to forget. Reading this post of yours should be part of your quit plan man. 24 days in, 24 days of freedom, 24 days of suck. If you fail to quit are you ready to re-do those 24 days? Sound good? I know I don't ever want to go through another day 3. Knowing that helps keep me strong.
Nice post. Stay strong today. If u are thinking about buying some fake chew cuz it will help then do it. If it don't help then throw it out. I thought the same way about it being too close. It isn't. It is just something to keep u occupied. Fake dip won't make u cave. You are the only thing that can make yourself cave. You sound locked in to me. Stay on it. I am quit with you.
Things started to improve for me about where you are. She knows you are serious and boy is she pissed! Hang tight. Things are about to improve as I said. Fu nic.
FU NIC INDEED ODAAT NAFAR!!!!
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Today is day 34.
I just got my first (and hopefully only) order of Jakes Mint Chew. I got that sample pack. As soon as it got here I really want to try it, but I feel as if this is a craving brought on simply by curiosity. I thought about it for a moment and the thought of spitting right now is gross, especially since we are about to have a huge family party (don't want that stuff in my lip). However, I know next time I am writing in the studio I will crave a chew, because that usually happens, so I am glad to have this stuff on stand by. Put them all in my workstation for that purpose.
I feel like I had more to say when I started this, but since day 30 I have hit a fog and am a little out of it. My uncle is coming today, and he hates a lot of my neighbors who are also coming. He drinks a lot and loses his filter so..... 'Popcorn'
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well if you have a crave and you want to put a fake one in, i doubt you'd have a hard time swallowing it...its not bad for you and i imagine you swallowed on occasion when you were dipping for real...just a thought
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well if you have a crave and you want to put a fake one in, i doubt you'd have a hard time swallowing it...its not bad for you and i imagine you swallowed on occasion when you were dipping for real...just a thought
I was never a swallower.... on purpose... Sometimes there is just too much that its hard not to swallow a little bit, but usually I would spit. On occasion it would dribble a little bit too
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well if you have a crave and you want to put a fake one in, i doubt you'd have a hard time swallowing it...its not bad for you and i imagine you swallowed on occasion when you were dipping for real...just a thought
I was never a swallower.... on purpose... Sometimes there is just too much that its hard not to swallow a little bit, but usually I would spit. On occasion it would dribble a little bit too
Is this ktc, where am i at. 'crackup'
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well if you have a crave and you want to put a fake one in, i doubt you'd have a hard time swallowing it...its not bad for you and i imagine you swallowed on occasion when you were dipping for real...just a thought
I was never a swallower.... on purpose... Sometimes there is just too much that its hard not to swallow a little bit, but usually I would spit. On occasion it would dribble a little bit too
Is this ktc, where am i at. 'crackup'
'crackup' x2
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For those of you who read this....
I know this has been more of a journal for myself, and this entry will serve as that, but also the answers you provide.
The other day my family had a get together. Well, some of the family smokes so there was exposure to second hand. I noticed the day following that I was rather cranky, sort of how I was early on in the quit. Prior to this event I noticed my mood improving. So here lies the question/concern:
Does my exposure to secondhand put nic back in my system for another three days? I didn't stand there inhaling it, but throughout the night I would get wiffs, and at one point I walked through a cloud of smoke (unintentionally). Don't worry, I didn't cave, and it's not like my cravings were as strong as they were in the first days, I was just moody and foggy.
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For those of you who read this....
I know this has been more of a journal for myself, and this entry will serve as that, but also the answers you provide.
The other day my family had a get together. Well, some of the family smokes so there was exposure to second hand. I noticed the day following that I was rather cranky, sort of how I was early on in the quit. Prior to this event I noticed my mood improving. So here lies the question/concern:
Does my exposure to secondhand put nic back in my system for another three days? I didn't stand there inhaling it, but throughout the night I would get wiffs, and at one point I walked through a cloud of smoke (unintentionally). Don't worry, I didn't cave, and it's not like my cravings were as strong as they were in the first days, I was just moody and foggy.
We all must suffer fools. They can not be avoided.
I was never a smoker (have really bad asthma) and being near it always caused issues for me. I think smoking is even more vile than dipping as its stench stays with others in their hair and clothes and gets into their lungs. I don't know that walking through a cloud of smoke can alter your mood the next day, but since you are aware (think that) it altered your mood use it as a learning tool of the powers or nicotine.
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For those of you who read this....
I know this has been more of a journal for myself, and this entry will serve as that, but also the answers you provide.
The other day my family had a get together. Well, some of the family smokes so there was exposure to second hand. I noticed the day following that I was rather cranky, sort of how I was early on in the quit. Prior to this event I noticed my mood improving. So here lies the question/concern:
Does my exposure to secondhand put nic back in my system for another three days? I didn't stand there inhaling it, but throughout the night I would get wiffs, and at one point I walked through a cloud of smoke (unintentionally). Don't worry, I didn't cave, and it's not like my cravings were as strong as they were in the first days, I was just moody and foggy.
We all must suffer fools. They can not be avoided.
I was never a smoker (have really bad asthma) and being near it always caused issues for me. I think smoking is even more vile than dipping as its stench stays with others in their hair and clothes and gets into their lungs. I don't know that walking through a cloud of smoke can alter your mood the next day, but since you are aware (think that) it altered your mood use it as a learning tool of the powers or nicotine.
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For those of you who read this....
I know this has been more of a journal for myself, and this entry will serve as that, but also the answers you provide.
The other day my family had a get together. Well, some of the family smokes so there was exposure to second hand. I noticed the day following that I was rather cranky, sort of how I was early on in the quit. Prior to this event I noticed my mood improving. So here lies the question/concern:
Does my exposure to secondhand put nic back in my system for another three days? I didn't stand there inhaling it, but throughout the night I would get wiffs, and at one point I walked through a cloud of smoke (unintentionally). Don't worry, I didn't cave, and it's not like my cravings were as strong as they were in the first days, I was just moody and foggy.
We all must suffer fools. They can not be avoided.
I was never a smoker (have really bad asthma) and being near it always caused issues for me. I think smoking is even more vile than dipping as its stench stays with others in their hair and clothes and gets into their lungs. I don't know that walking through a cloud of smoke can alter your mood the next day, but since you are aware (think that) it altered your mood use it as a learning tool of the powers or nicotine.
Yes, secondhand smoke contains a measurable amount of nicotine. It shouldn't throw you into full-on withdrawal, but there is zero doubt that you took in a bit of nicotine.
I'm pissed off for you.
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Secondhand Smoke
What is secondhand smoke?
Secondhand smoke (SHS) is also known as environmental tobacco smoke (ETS). SHS is a mixture of 2 forms of smoke that come from burning tobacco:
• Sidestream smoke – smoke from the lighted end of a cigarette, pipe, or cigar
• Mainstream smoke – the smoke exhaled by a smoker
Even though we think of these as the same, they arenÂ’t. Sidestream smoke has higher concentrations of cancer-causing agents (carcinogens) than mainstream smoke. And, it has smaller particles than mainstream smoke, which make their way into the lungs and the bodyÂ’s cells more easily.
When non-smokers are exposed to SHS it is called involuntary smoking or passive smoking. Non-smokers who breathe in SHS take in nicotine and toxic chemicals by the same route smokers do. The more SHS you breathe, the higher the level of these harmful chemicals in your body.
I got this from cancer.org
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Secondhand Smoke
What is secondhand smoke?
Secondhand smoke (SHS) is also known as environmental tobacco smoke (ETS). SHS is a mixture of 2 forms of smoke that come from burning tobacco:
• Sidestream smoke – smoke from the lighted end of a cigarette, pipe, or cigar
• Mainstream smoke – the smoke exhaled by a smoker
Even though we think of these as the same, they arenÂ’t. Sidestream smoke has higher concentrations of cancer-causing agents (carcinogens) than mainstream smoke. And, it has smaller particles than mainstream smoke, which make their way into the lungs and the bodyÂ’s cells more easily.
When non-smokers are exposed to SHS it is called involuntary smoking or passive smoking. Non-smokers who breathe in SHS take in nicotine and toxic chemicals by the same route smokers do. The more SHS you breathe, the higher the level of these harmful chemicals in your body.
I got this from cancer.org
Yea,,, i smoked a few 1000 cigarettes growing up. The sad part,, I never held one of them. I'll be sure to thank my wonderful parents for this. How sad!! Glad to be quit with everyone that says screw big tobacco.
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Secondhand Smoke
What is secondhand smoke?
Secondhand smoke (SHS) is also known as environmental tobacco smoke (ETS). SHS is a mixture of 2 forms of smoke that come from burning tobacco:
• Sidestream smoke – smoke from the lighted end of a cigarette, pipe, or cigar
• Mainstream smoke – the smoke exhaled by a smoker
Even though we think of these as the same, they arenÂ’t. Sidestream smoke has higher concentrations of cancer-causing agents (carcinogens) than mainstream smoke. And, it has smaller particles than mainstream smoke, which make their way into the lungs and the bodyÂ’s cells more easily.
When non-smokers are exposed to SHS it is called involuntary smoking or passive smoking. Non-smokers who breathe in SHS take in nicotine and toxic chemicals by the same route smokers do. The more SHS you breathe, the higher the level of these harmful chemicals in your body.
I got this from cancer.org
Yea,,, i smoked a few 1000 cigarettes growing up. The sad part,, I never held one of them. I'll be sure to thank my wonderful parents for this. How sad!! Glad to be quit with everyone that says screw big tobacco.
SON OF A B#$#%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'bang head' DAM YOU BIG TOBACCO!!!
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First Stop for the DuckFip Hall of Fame Train is New York where we will be picking up a professional student that started using smokeless chewing tobacco at the ripe old age of 18. Eor2012 said he his preferred brand of poison was anything, my kind of man! He plans on celebrating this milestone hunched over the books doing the scholarly task of homework; great job Eor2012 at 100 days.
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Congrats Eor! 100 days is only one of the battles, continue on and win the war too.
QFQQ,
Pinched
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Awesome job, glad to be quit with you!!!!!!
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nice job Eor!!!
one bit of insight as to your thread is document a bit more then July 30th to now. More for you to look back on than us.
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Congrats on HoF 100 days!
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Interesting little bit of info for anyone (especially the new guys) coming to KTC.
I am not at day 202 of being quit. Over the past 100 days I have been in and out of KTC as my schedule allowed, not putting as much effort as I used to. Don't worry, this isn't turning in to a cave post. I just wanted to drop by and remind myself, when I am looking back on this, that the cravings don't dissipate. Last night I found myself trying to say "oh, don't worry, one won't hurt. It's better that you use tobacco than *some other substance*." It was substantially easier to recognize a crave and not give in than it was at day 1, 10, 20, or even 100, but they still exist.
Always be on your guard and listen when you hear that devil whisper in your ear. Realize who is talking, and ignore them.
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Interesting little bit of info for anyone (especially the new guys) coming to KTC.
I am not at day 202 of being quit. Over the past 100 days I have been in and out of KTC as my schedule allowed, not putting as much effort as I used to. Don't worry, this isn't turning in to a cave post. I just wanted to drop by and remind myself, when I am looking back on this, that the cravings don't dissipate. Last night I found myself trying to say "oh, don't worry, one won't hurt. It's better that you use tobacco than *some other substance*." It was substantially easier to recognize a crave and not give in than it was at day 1, 10, 20, or even 100, but they still exist.
Always be on your guard and listen when you hear that devil whisper in your ear. Realize who is talking, and ignore them.
ok if not day 202, then what day is it for you my friend????? speak now....
:huh:
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Interesting little bit of info for anyone (especially the new guys) coming to KTC.
I am not at day 202 of being quit. Over the past 100 days I have been in and out of KTC as my schedule allowed, not putting as much effort as I used to. Don't worry, this isn't turning in to a cave post. I just wanted to drop by and remind myself, when I am looking back on this, that the cravings don't dissipate. Last night I found myself trying to say "oh, don't worry, one won't hurt. It's better that you use tobacco than *some other substance*." It was substantially easier to recognize a crave and not give in than it was at day 1, 10, 20, or even 100, but they still exist.
Always be on your guard and listen when you hear that devil whisper in your ear. Realize who is talking, and ignore them.
ok if not day 202, then what day is it for you my friend????? speak now....
:huh:
Oh darn it. I meant to say I am now * at day 202. I have no idea what's been wrong with me lately. I have been dropping things, slurring/mixing up words, and just out of it. Haha, no worries, I am safely at 202
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Interesting little bit of info for anyone (especially the new guys) coming to KTC.
I am not at day 202 of being quit. Over the past 100 days I have been in and out of KTC as my schedule allowed, not putting as much effort as I used to. Don't worry, this isn't turning in to a cave post. I just wanted to drop by and remind myself, when I am looking back on this, that the cravings don't dissipate. Last night I found myself trying to say "oh, don't worry, one won't hurt. It's better that you use tobacco than *some other substance*." It was substantially easier to recognize a crave and not give in than it was at day 1, 10, 20, or even 100, but they still exist.
Always be on your guard and listen when you hear that devil whisper in your ear. Realize who is talking, and ignore them.
ok if not day 202, then what day is it for you my friend????? speak now....
:huh:
Oh darn it. I meant to say I am now * at day 202. I have no idea what's been wrong with me lately. I have been dropping things, slurring/mixing up words, and just out of it. Haha, no worries, I am safely at 202
'crackup'
well then quit on....or to mix up the words...on is quit is not it....
dammit now I sound like yoda...
well done.