KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: randomprecision on October 05, 2011, 01:17:00 PM
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I have been reading this site and forum for a couple of days. I finally decided to start an account and post. I'm sitting at my desk at work and reading and thinking about how awesome it would be to finally quit. I want to give it up for good. Then I think to myself "but I just bought a fresh tin this morning and I haven't even opened it up yet." So what? I was just going to put that in my mouth and shorten my life anyway. I just want to throw the bullshit in the garbage and start NOW. Should I try to start on a new day? Since it takes 3 days for the nicotine to leave my body, should I maybe start on a Friday so I'm not an ogre at work?
I started dipping back in high school about 22 years ago. I also smoked then and dipping was great for doing in class because you could get away with it without the teacher noticing. For a lot of years after school I just smoked cigarettes exclusively. In 2008 I gave up cigarettes and started dipping again. Eventually, I went back to cigarettes but I kept dipping too! Talk about suicide overdrive! On new year's day this year I gave up cigarettes for good. I was so proud of myself -- but I didn't give up dipping and the nic bitch. Now I'm afraid if I quit dip then I'll just go back to cigarettes. It's my biggest fear because even though I dip I still crave cigarettes as well, and my wife smokes. She sits right next to me on the couch and puffs away. Sometimes I can't take the craving and I have to pop in a dip to shut the nic bitch up. I'm so tired of being a slave.
My wife has no problem with her smoking. She smokes around the kids and wherever she pleases and doesn't care. I love her dearly, but she's extremely selfish about it. I know she's not going to curtail her habits for my benefit. So I really have no "local" support on the quitting except for my kids, who I know would love to see me quit. They always make faces and tell me how gross it is. Even my 2 year old daughter says "ucky" when I put the spitter to my lips. I want to set a good example for my kids, but mainly I need to quit for myself. I need to give up nicotine for good and move on. No patches, no panacea. Just quit. Bear down and take it. It's going to be very hard -- my wife won't change her habits. She'll still smoke right next to me. Triggers are everywhere -- work is a BIG trigger. Driving. Watching baseball (my absolute favorite thing to watch.) Video games. Everything in my life seems to involve having a lip turd in. I can't use my wife's selfishness as an excuse any longer. I'm 37 years old. Tony Gwynn is one of my all-time favorite ball players. I have a very large history of cancer in my family on both sides. I can't wait any longer.
So I'm coming to you guys for help and advice. I'll throw these bastard cans right into the wastebasket right now, grit my teeth, and be an ogre for three days.
I just told my boss that I was going to quit and that I'll be an ogre for the next three days. He was awesome about it. I'm lucky to have an awesome boss. He told me to feel free to take a break at any point, go for a jog, whatever in order to get through it. My wife will roll her eyes at me. I don't care -- this is for me.
I have just quit chewing tobacco. For now, I will take it 1 minute at a time. I will not use any other nicotine product to supplement my cravings. My word is all I have in this world, and it is my bond.
Since I"m quitting mid day, should I roll call today or wait until the morning? I'm not even 100% sure what to do on this site. I do know that you guys have helped a lot of people quit and I want to be one of them! My will to quit is strong right now, but the nic bitch is very strong too. I need support - so I'm going to lean on you folks for as long as it takes. Okay?
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Welcome, we have the same quit date!
I've been through this before and had a relapse last month. I can tell you it drives me insane to have tobacco anywhere near me during my quit. I'd say take it a step further and carry out those tins to the backyard and chuck them half a mile.
The wife smoking thing is rough, and certainly not the best temptation. I wish I could lend you any advice regarding that situation but I am not in the position to do so. My best advice would be to have a heart to heart with her. Make it something you both can work towards.
I am also in the situation at work. I'm a web developer and the second I begin coding, my brain wants that nic fix. During my first quit it was this trigger that made things so much harder. I was irritable and extremely twitchy. Don't postpone your quit, it starts with an "I'll quit tomorrow" and becomes "i'll quit in a couple of months". Quit now, and begin preparing yourself. I have found that food and sunflower seeds were a good supplement for my terrible habit, and it eased my mood a bit.
Some other things to get you through this is take a break and come talk to this community. Some of these guys are the most motivational people you will ever meet. The live chat link is in the top right.
Let me know if you are ever struggling, this is a battle we are all in together.
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I did it. I threw away the open can and put a note on the other that said "I quit this. Merry xmas" and left it on the desk of an absent dipping co-worker.
I went to talk to the boss about something briefly and when I came back to my desk and sat down at my keyboard, my brain INSTANTLY went "time for a dip." I laughed about it. I won't be laughing in an hour when my nicotine levels drop.
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I see a lot of "I will"s in your statements.
Toss your stuff now, and start now. You did not quit this second when you say "will".
Flush your stuff.
Post roll.
Get through today.
EDIT: I see you've tossed it. Good job, and welcome to the site. Get some fake stuff, seeds, or gum and bear down.
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Stick with it! You can do it....
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Focus on today only. 1 day at a time.
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My wife will roll her eyes at me. I don't care -- this is for me.
This is the attitude you MUST have. I haven't checked the groups yet, but I'm assuming that you've posted your day 1. If not, get into the January group and post up. It all comes down to three very simple things.
1. Post roll first thing every morning and promise that you will not use nicotine of any kind for today...just today.
2. Keep you word.
3. Come back tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
It's a simple program, but it's not easy. There are 9500+ members of KTC who will stand with you during the suck, through the fogs, through the rages, and through the craves. We've all been where you are now...reach out to a brother if you need to and don't be afraid to ask for help. You got this and we've got your back. Glad to be quit with you today! 'archer'
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My wife will roll her eyes at me. I don't care -- this is for me.
This is the attitude you MUST have. I haven't checked the groups yet, but I'm assuming that you've posted your day 1. If not, get into the January group and post up. It all comes down to three very simple things.
1. Post roll first thing every morning and promise that you will not use nicotine of any kind for today...just today.
2. Keep you word.
3. Come back tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
It's a simple program, but it's not easy. There are 9500+ members of KTC who will stand with you during the suck, through the fogs, through the rages, and through the craves. We've all been where you are now...reach out to a brother if you need to and don't be afraid to ask for help. You got this and we've got your back. Glad to be quit with you today! 'archer'
Taz is spot on. That's the stuff that will pull ya through.
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My wife will roll her eyes at me. I don't care -- this is for me.
This is the attitude you MUST have. I haven't checked the groups yet, but I'm assuming that you've posted your day 1. If not, get into the January group and post up. It all comes down to three very simple things.
1. Post roll first thing every morning and promise that you will not use nicotine of any kind for today...just today.
2. Keep you word.
3. Come back tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
It's a simple program, but it's not easy. There are 9500+ members of KTC who will stand with you during the suck, through the fogs, through the rages, and through the craves. We've all been where you are now...reach out to a brother if you need to and don't be afraid to ask for help. You got this and we've got your back. Glad to be quit with you today! 'archer'
Taz is spot on. That's the stuff that will pull ya through.
Who gives a fuck what your wife thinks. Mine still rolls her eyes and I am 600+ days.
You got it right. We quit for ourselves here. It does not work any other way!!
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9 hours in, still going strong. Trying to mix things up a little - went for a walk to the grocery store. no nicotine at all. no excuses. my wife has been awesome about it actually - she said she won't even smoke around me. I figure the hardest part is this first few days, and then it's all mental. Addiction is a tricky mistress, though.
I will post roll tomorrow morning -- when I get to work. I don't usually have time to do any surfing before I leave for work in the morning. these early cravings are UNREAL, but I'm beating it back. I've been sweating since about 1pm. Hyper... freaking OUT. More energy than I thought I had left in me!
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my wife has been awesome about it actually - she said she won't even smoke around me.
See...you didnt think your wife would be supportive! I am hoping that your quit will inspire her to quit also. She will be watching you very close to see if your quit is for real! Having support means so much to my fiancee so I hope your wife stays supportive! stay strong!!
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well I couldn't find where to "post roll call" and I know it's important to you guys, but i've already spent too much time looking for it and need to do some actual work this morning.
I'm still going strong but my resolve is weakening. Also I'm pretty over-the-top irritable. Just trying to make it. I know i can make it. Lots of gum, water, and mints. I went from the worst smelling breath of anyone I knew to the best smelling breath. I guess that's something.
I'm winning so far, but something tells me today will be a real test. One minute at a time...
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I'm winning so far, but something tells me today will be a real test. One minute at a time...
There is no "so far". You DECIDE you are done. "So far" implies that it will not last!!! You don't dip today. That's all. You can do this!!! Stay strong!!!!!! Call one of your brothers or ask for a number. They are all here for you!
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You can do it RP.. Just make it through today. One day at a time. The fog will lift but it's hard as fuck!!! Stick with it..
post roll in the Janurary Quit Group here:
index.php?showtopic=5270 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5270)
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Random. Post Roll, Seal your Bond, and do not cave in today
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well I couldn't find where to "post roll call" and I know it's important to you guys, but i've already spent too much time looking for it and need to do some actual work this morning.
I'm still going strong but my resolve is weakening. Also I'm pretty over-the-top irritable. Just trying to make it. I know i can make it. Lots of gum, water, and mints. I went from the worst smelling breath of anyone I knew to the best smelling breath. I guess that's something.
I'm winning so far, but something tells me today will be a real test. One minute at a time...
I see that you found how, and where, to post. Great job! That is your promise to everyone here that you will not use nicotine of ANY KIND today...just for today.
Get some phone numbers, call or text a brother (or sister) if you're starting to struggle. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Shoot me a PM if I can help. Glad to be quit with you today! 'archer'
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Today in role call you say, "you guys are a huge help!"
And out of no where you are leaving because you "won't be abused for honesty".
I am not even sure what that means.
I promise you that this site works, it has for me for the past 74 days. Post roll, keep your word, and repeat, and I assure you that no one will "abuse you".
Hope you change your mind.
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Today in role call you say, "you guys are a huge help!"
And out of no where you are leaving because you "won't be abused for honesty".
I am not even sure what that means.
I promise you that this site works, it has for me for the past 74 days. Post roll, keep your word, and repeat, and I assure you that no one will "abuse you".
Hope you change your mind.
HUH? I read back through here and I don't see any abuse at all. Nothing but straight-up support. Maybe I missed something in chat or the board. Hey Random, give this another shot. PM me if I can help. Don't just walk away.
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Honesty is the best motivation. Everyone won't be peaches and flowers because QUITTING isn't peaches and flowers. It's a bitch... so you be a bitch and I'll be a bitch with you. We have the same quit date and we need to stick together. I'm not a big talker/poster either (never have been... on any site I frequent), but seeing just one honest truth post or one supportive post has been making my day.
C'mon, brotha, we got this. Ain't never going back.
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
"Abused for honesty?" Huh?
I'll admit that I didn't read the entire board today, but I've read this entire thread and I've read everything in January 2012 since you posted roll this AM and I can't see ANY interaction between you and the rest of the board (let alone anything I'd call you being "abused for honesty".)
So... unless I'm missing something (which is entirely possible) I'd say it's time for some honesty.
You're going to cave.
Pure and simple. I'm guessing you'll be back to the can by the time Monday rolls around.
You've been given the tools to succeed but instead you've set yourself up to fail.
Sorry if this seems abusive but I've seen you do this shit for 5 + years on this site. Not YOU perse, but "you" in the figurative sense. People just like you... hundreds of them... who aren't ready to quit.
But hey... there's not fault in not being "ready" to quit. If you're not, no amount of ass kicking that we do here will help you.
But when you are... watch out. Cause you're gonna be in for the ride of your life. And I'm just hoping it'll be sooner rather than later.
chewie
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Planned cave...
Nuff said.
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Planned cave...
Nuff said.
Nic is digging deep in his brain and fighting him. Looks like she's gonna win...
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
Sad. Thanks to all the guys (and gal) that have "abused" me over the last 37 days. If it weren't for yall, I would have caved. You've been NOTHING BUT HONEST with me since day one. If it weren't for yall, I would have caved. Anytime I get out of line, start acting like a bitch, Scowick, Sayrahanne, lo sprk, Gump, ToeTag, feel free to be as mean as fuck to me until I get my nuts back underneath me. If it weren't for yall, I would have caved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You fucking candy ass. Abused? Where the hell is the abuse? I see some fabulous folks trying to help you and some asswipe that probably has caved already.
Souliman's heart is breaking from all the abuse. Please, please Lord, send me a quitter with balls so I can forget this turd.
And Kmm, you rock. Ma'am, I am a huge fan of yours. You have a head full of quit on your shoulders.
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the community is great and I see how it helps people. I am out though. Don't worry, I won't go back to dipping, but I won't be abused for honesty either. Bye
"Abused for honesty?" Huh?
I'll admit that I didn't read the entire board today, but I've read this entire thread and I've read everything in January 2012 since you posted roll this AM and I can't see ANY interaction between you and the rest of the board (let alone anything I'd call you being "abused for honesty".)
So... unless I'm missing something (which is entirely possible) I'd say it's time for some honesty.
You're going to cave.
Pure and simple. I'm guessing you'll be back to the can by the time Monday rolls around.
You've been given the tools to succeed but instead you've set yourself up to fail.
Sorry if this seems abusive but I've seen you do this shit for 5 + years on this site. Not YOU perse, but "you" in the figurative sense. People just like you... hundreds of them... who aren't ready to quit.
But hey... there's not fault in not being "ready" to quit. If you're not, no amount of ass kicking that we do here will help you.
But when you are... watch out. Cause you're gonna be in for the ride of your life. And I'm just hoping it'll be sooner rather than later.
chewie
You're posting roll... proving me wrong?
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yeah I was going through some shit and had a moment. Sue me.
I haven't caved, I'm not going to cave. I post roll because I think that helps me not to cave as it's my promise to you guys not to use. It isn't easy by any stretch but at least the shit is out of my system now and it's all about mental games now.
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yeah I was going through some shit and had a moment. Sue me.
I haven't caved, I'm not going to cave. I post roll because I think that helps me not to cave as it's my promise to you guys not to use. It isn't easy by any stretch but at least the shit is out of my system now and it's all about mental games now.
Ok, I will hold all obscenities and I am glad you came around.
But tell us about this "abused for honesty" thing...
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yeah I was going through some shit and had a moment. Sue me.
I haven't caved, I'm not going to cave. I post roll because I think that helps me not to cave as it's my promise to you guys not to use. It isn't easy by any stretch but at least the shit is out of my system now and it's all about mental games now.
The promise is not to us. The promise is to you.
When I post roll every morning, it reminds me that I am an addict. It quiets that little voice in my head that says "Just one won't hurt" because there are days that I barely think about chew.
That little voice sleeps and waits, and she never dies. She stayed with me, and blew a 1,000 day stoppage because I didn't shackle her with roll call posts.
It took me over a year to start again.
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Ok, I will hold all obscenities and I am glad you came around.
But tell us about this "abused for honesty" thing...
I was going through really bad withdrawals and fleshing it out in chat and said something about how I might as well dip because I'm an unbelievable asshole so anything to stop being an asshole. It didn't go over well understandably. And then I got all emo and stupid about it after the fact like "screw this place" but then I realized I was just being stupid and started to feel better. I guess everyone's quit is different. My father quit cold turkey and he said it took him a week, but then he was all done with it. I think my battle will last a bit longer than that ;)
I realize that I am an addict - posting roll serves as a failsafe for me. If I start slippin and thinking about caving in to the bitch and it gets really bad I can always say "nope can't - posted roll today on that website and promised I wouldn't cave." I chuckle about the absurd notion of that working sometimes, but it acts like the e-brakes on an elevator; right before the crash and burn, I have that to stop me. Pretty neat.
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Ok, I will hold all obscenities and I am glad you came around.
But tell us about this "abused for honesty" thing...
I was going through really bad withdrawals and fleshing it out in chat and said something about how I might as well dip because I'm an unbelievable asshole so anything to stop being an asshole. It didn't go over well understandably. And then I got all emo and stupid about it after the fact like "screw this place" but then I realized I was just being stupid and started to feel better. I guess everyone's quit is different. My father quit cold turkey and he said it took him a week, but then he was all done with it. I think my battle will last a bit longer than that ;)
I realize that I am an addict - posting roll serves as a failsafe for me. If I start slippin and thinking about caving in to the bitch and it gets really bad I can always say "nope can't - posted roll today on that website and promised I wouldn't cave." I chuckle about the absurd notion of that working sometimes, but it acts like the e-brakes on an elevator; right before the crash and burn, I have that to stop me. Pretty neat.
'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' 'clap'
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Ok, I will hold all obscenities and I am glad you came around.
But tell us about this "abused for honesty" thing...
I was going through really bad withdrawals and fleshing it out in chat and said something about how I might as well dip because I'm an unbelievable asshole so anything to stop being an asshole. It didn't go over well understandably. And then I got all emo and stupid about it after the fact like "screw this place" but then I realized I was just being stupid and started to feel better. I guess everyone's quit is different. My father quit cold turkey and he said it took him a week, but then he was all done with it. I think my battle will last a bit longer than that ;)
I realize that I am an addict - posting roll serves as a failsafe for me. If I start slippin and thinking about caving in to the bitch and it gets really bad I can always say "nope can't - posted roll today on that website and promised I wouldn't cave." I chuckle about the absurd notion of that working sometimes, but it acts like the e-brakes on an elevator; right before the crash and burn, I have that to stop me. Pretty neat.
Well you can't cave until you talk to me first. My PM's send me an email, which goes directly to my phone.
We are in this battle together.. stay quit, I am.