KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Donewithit83 on October 26, 2017, 01:44:00 PM
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20 years ago, I was 14 and I didn't even know that dipping was a "thing". I was just a girl starting high school going about her business. My cousin was hooked already and she had just migrated to the states. She didn't know where to get dip – but she knew my dad dipped. She let me try it once and I loved it. Then I would take a little from my dad here and there while he wasn't looking.
I realized he would just leave it in the basement so I would go steal some every night so I had enough for the next day and for my cousin of course. Time flew – once I had my license I would just go get it myself. I always felt weird – because I was a girl they'd judge me – I'd lie and say it's for my dad or my grandpa. I just kept dipping – all through college, no one knew – except my cousin. She got married and I was in school so we'd see each other less and less. Then they got bloodwork done for life insurance – where it showed tobacco in her system and she quit. She badgered me to quit as well but then I just started ignoring her more and more.
There were a few occasions my mom found a can of dip or something and she'd spaz but I would just say it wasn't mine or not sure where it came from. But what it really did was just made me better at hiding it. I was a ninja dipper – always swallowed the juices – I hate to admit it but I have eaten dip on several occasions to avoid being caught. Makes me sick just thinking about it right now. The only time I didn't dip was when I was eating or showering – I probably slept with dip in more often than not (I now know this was so totally f'ed up and stupid on my part).
My husband has no idea that I dipped – we dated for 2 years and have been married for 5 years. If I had dip in my mouth I would make up some excuse and go to the bathroom to take it out. Then I got pregnant in 2013 and stopped dipping the day I took test. I was fine – no symptoms of withdrawal. I didn't dip for more than 2 years – my entire pregnancy and then while I was nursing. Then I was depressed by all the weight gain and used the dip as consolation. Then I got pregnant again and stopped for 10 months or so. I spent a week with my parents and my dad was dipping all the time so I went and snooped around his stuff and found his dip and I stole a little bit each day. Before I knew it I was hooked again.
This time it was worse – I just couldn't get enough. I would constantly be dipping – it was never out of my mouth and I didn’t care to eat or do anything else. I would go put a new dip in almost 30 minutes. I couldn’t think about or do anything other than dip – I planned everything around it. I started increasing the amount of dip I would put into my mouth whenever I would be alone. I am not sure how much time I spent with dip instead of spending it with my beautiful children.
I finally got sick of it and decided I should quit – I started googling the bad effects that it would have. I found KTC and was trolling the site. The day I took the decision to quit was 9/29/17. I quit for myself – so I could see my children have their own children. After I quit I started poking around my mouth and of course started googling all the symptoms and having major anxiety about cancer! I have had so many aches and pains since I quit – and I am only at Day 28. KTC helps because I can see that so many other people have gone through this with me.
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20 years ago, I was 14 and I didn't even know that dipping was a "thing". I was just a girl starting high school going about her business. My cousin was hooked already and she had just migrated to the states. She didn't know where to get dip – but she knew my dad dipped. She let me try it once and I loved it. Then I would take a little from my dad here and there while he wasn't looking.
I realized he would just leave it in the basement so I would go steal some every night so I had enough for the next day and for my cousin of course. Time flew – once I had my license I would just go get it myself. I always felt weird – because I was a girl they'd judge me – I'd lie and say it's for my dad or my grandpa. I just kept dipping – all through college, no one knew – except my cousin. She got married and I was in school so we'd see each other less and less. Then they got bloodwork done for life insurance – where it showed tobacco in her system and she quit. She badgered me to quit as well but then I just started ignoring her more and more.
There were a few occasions my mom found a can of dip or something and she'd spaz but I would just say it wasn't mine or not sure where it came from. But what it really did was just made me better at hiding it. I was a ninja dipper – always swallowed the juices – I hate to admit it but I have eaten dip on several occasions to avoid being caught. Makes me sick just thinking about it right now. The only time I didn't dip was when I was eating or showering – I probably slept with dip in more often than not (I now know this was so totally f'ed up and stupid on my part).
My husband has no idea that I dipped – we dated for 2 years and have been married for 5 years. If I had dip in my mouth I would make up some excuse and go to the bathroom to take it out. Then I got pregnant in 2013 and stopped dipping the day I took test. I was fine – no symptoms of withdrawal. I didn't dip for more than 2 years – my entire pregnancy and then while I was nursing. Then I was depressed by all the weight gain and used the dip as consolation. Then I got pregnant again and stopped for 10 months or so. I spent a week with my parents and my dad was dipping all the time so I went and snooped around his stuff and found his dip and I stole a little bit each day. Before I knew it I was hooked again.
This time it was worse – I just couldn't get enough. I would constantly be dipping – it was never out of my mouth and I didn’t care to eat or do anything else. I would go put a new dip in almost 30 minutes. I couldn’t think about or do anything other than dip – I planned everything around it. I started increasing the amount of dip I would put into my mouth whenever I would be alone. I am not sure how much time I spent with dip instead of spending it with my beautiful children.
I finally got sick of it and decided I should quit – I started googling the bad effects that it would have. I found KTC and was trolling the site. The day I took the decision to quit was 9/29/17. I quit for myself – so I could see my children have their own children. After I quit I started poking around my mouth and of course started googling all the symptoms and having major anxiety about cancer! I have had so many aches and pains since I quit – and I am only at Day 28. KTC helps because I can see that so many other people have gone through this with me.
Awesome work! 28days is solid. the nicotine is out of your system, no the brain will try to rewire while the addiction tries to convince you that you are cured. stick with it and use KTC, it works
ID Spuds 1166
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Way to go and great intro! Proud to quit with you each and everyday!
Congrats on kicking ass for 28 days now keep on keeping on and the days they will pile up!
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You got this. I'm so glad you posted an into. Stick with it. One day at a time. You should be about a month free of nic. So proud of you
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Nice intro. Welcome to the site. Read all you can on here. You will find all the wisdom and support in the world. You supply the will. Just give your word one day at a time. No nic today
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Happy Half-A-HOF! (https://imgur.com/ulb52PU)
Keep it going. Proud to quit with you today!
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Hey hey!!
Happy HOF day!
Stay strong stay connected quit hard!
Proud to quit with you daily!
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Proud of you. Kids and work and life and all the regular bullshit are always a heavy trigger and you are still quit. Atta Girl!
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Proud to quit with you every day! Day 200!!!!!
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Proud to quit with you every day! Day 200!!!!!
nice 200 DWI83!!
Keep that quitting up!