KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Paulie on November 24, 2017, 08:03:00 PM
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Hi, my name is Paul
I'm on day 5 of being quit. Early on in this fog and between headaches and coughing fits I find some moments of mental clarity and occasional physical feelings that I haven't felt in many many years.
I was a chewer since high school, so 20 years give or take.
What I am starting to realise and bothers the most is that my wife of 7 years, my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter really don't know their father. As long as they have known me I hid my addiction from them. I have made excuses and kept a distance so I could have time to run off and partake, which was prety much all the time. I didnt even kiss my wife during the day cause I was hiding a lipper or would sneak around her so we wouldn't bump into each other in the hallway. I am not the fun or funny energetic person i used to be. The can has taken it's toll, physical activities are so damn taxing and draining. But now that I'm quit I plan to spend more time with the family and be a better father and husband, to get my body healthy again and be more active. The nic took away some of the best years and they best job I'd ever have. My relationship and family were all started under a lie based on a bad choice I made as a teenager.
All that said it's good to know that's it's never too late and I'm glad this site is here so we can all make our lives better together.
I look forward to finding out what kind of person I am when I'm clean.
Paulie
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Hi, my name is Paul
I'm on day 5 of being quit. Early on in this fog and between headaches and coughing fits I find some moments of mental clarity and occasional physical feelings that I haven't felt in many many years.
I was a chewer since high school, so 20 years give or take.
What I am starting to realise and bothers the most is that my wife of 7 years, my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter really don't know their father. As long as they have known me I hid my addiction from them. I have made excuses and kept a distance so I could have time to run off and partake, which was prety much all the time. I didnt even kiss my wife during the day cause I was hiding a lipper or would sneak around her so we wouldn't bump into each other in the hallway. I am not the fun or funny energetic person i used to be. The can has taken it's toll, physical activities are so damn taxing and draining. But now that I'm quit I plan to spend more time with the family and be a better father and husband, to get my body healthy again and be more active. The nic took away some of the best years and they best job I'd ever have. My relationship and family were all started under a lie based on a bad choice I made as a teenager.
All that said it's good to know that's it's never too late and I'm glad this site is here so we can all make our lives better together.
I look forward to finding out what kind of person I am when I'm clean.
Paulie
This is a great intro dude.
The life you are seeking is straight ahead. One day at a life you will earn that freedom back.
Keep the faith. Post roll. Keep your word. Reach out for help and make contacts. This place works.
If I can help or if youÂ’d like my number, send me a PM. 5 years ago I was in your exact same shoes. I was a deceitful husband and not a good person. Today, I am free. Welcome aboard!
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Hi, my name is Paul
I'm on day 5 of being quit. Early on in this fog and between headaches and coughing fits I find some moments of mental clarity and occasional physical feelings that I haven't felt in many many years.
I was a chewer since high school, so 20 years give or take.
What I am starting to realise and bothers the most is that my wife of 7 years, my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter really don't know their father. As long as they have known me I hid my addiction from them. I have made excuses and kept a distance so I could have time to run off and partake, which was prety much all the time. I didnt even kiss my wife during the day cause I was hiding a lipper or would sneak around her so we wouldn't bump into each other in the hallway. I am not the fun or funny energetic person i used to be. The can has taken it's toll, physical activities are so damn taxing and draining. But now that I'm quit I plan to spend more time with the family and be a better father and husband, to get my body healthy again and be more active. The nic took away some of the best years and they best job I'd ever have. My relationship and family were all started under a lie based on a bad choice I made as a teenager.
All that said it's good to know that's it's never too late and I'm glad this site is here so we can all make our lives better together.
I look forward to finding out what kind of person I am when I'm clean.
Paulie
This is a great intro dude.
The life you are seeking is straight ahead. One day at a life you will earn that freedom back.
Keep the faith. Post roll. Keep your word. Reach out for help and make contacts. This place works.
If I can help or if youÂ’d like my number, send me a PM. 5 years ago I was in your exact same shoes. I was a deceitful husband and not a good person. Today, I am free. Welcome aboard!
Great to have you joining our crew, Paul. Most of us on this site have been exactly where you are now, and can sympathize with your situation. We've all been liars and forfeited our integrity many, many times. The beautiful thing is, we get a do over. You've made the decision to start a whole new life nicotine-free, and the slate, from the time you chucked that tin, is blank. Your daily resolve to continue down this path is all we ask. Post your day count and promise each morning as soon as you get up. Let everyone know that you will not use nicotine today. That, at a bare minimum is all you need to do to be successful. However, if you want to make this journey a lot less rough - and believe me, it's gonna be rough - reach out to others on this site for accountability and encouragement. Exchange digits. Read all that you can on this site and get involved. Build a huge web of accountability. PM me if you want to trade digits. Proud to be quit with you, brother!
- Tom
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Hi, my name is Paul
I'm on day 5 of being quit. Early on in this fog and between headaches and coughing fits I find some moments of mental clarity and occasional physical feelings that I haven't felt in many many years.
I was a chewer since high school, so 20 years give or take.
What I am starting to realise and bothers the most is that my wife of 7 years, my 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter really don't know their father. As long as they have known me I hid my addiction from them. I have made excuses and kept a distance so I could have time to run off and partake, which was prety much all the time. I didnt even kiss my wife during the day cause I was hiding a lipper or would sneak around her so we wouldn't bump into each other in the hallway. I am not the fun or funny energetic person i used to be. The can has taken it's toll, physical activities are so damn taxing and draining. But now that I'm quit I plan to spend more time with the family and be a better father and husband, to get my body healthy again and be more active. The nic took away some of the best years and they best job I'd ever have. My relationship and family were all started under a lie based on a bad choice I made as a teenager.
All that said it's good to know that's it's never too late and I'm glad this site is here so we can all make our lives better together.
I look forward to finding out what kind of person I am when I'm clean.
Paulie
This is a great intro dude.
The life you are seeking is straight ahead. One day at a life you will earn that freedom back.
Keep the faith. Post roll. Keep your word. Reach out for help and make contacts. This place works.
If I can help or if youÂ’d like my number, send me a PM. 5 years ago I was in your exact same shoes. I was a deceitful husband and not a good person. Today, I am free. Welcome aboard!
Great to have you joining our crew, Paul. Most of us on this site have been exactly where you are now, and can sympathize with your situation. We've all been liars and forfeited our integrity many, many times. The beautiful thing is, we get a do over. You've made the decision to start a whole new life nicotine-free, and the slate, from the time you chucked that tin, is blank. Your daily resolve to continue down this path is all we ask. Post your day count and promise each morning as soon as you get up. Let everyone know that you will not use nicotine today. That, at a bare minimum is all you need to do to be successful. However, if you want to make this journey a lot less rough - and believe me, it's gonna be rough - reach out to others on this site for accountability and encouragement. Exchange digits. Read all that you can on this site and get involved. Build a huge web of accountability. PM me if you want to trade digits. Proud to be quit with you, brother!
- Tom
Paul, I have walked your path brother. 391 days ago I was in the same situation. My loyalty to a can of chemically altered tobacco nearly cost me my relationship and potentially my children. I was more committed to the can than I was myself or my family and I still carry that burden of shame for the time I wasted. My children are 5 and 2 and I don't think they knew their father either. As another person mentioned, I too have been free for 391 days. They've not all been great, but I am continually learning how to deal with my addiction and the results of poor choices I've made in the past. This community is only what you make of it. If you truly want to quit and not just change your life, but SAVE your life. This place can be an invaluable tool in that journey. My digits are a PM away. I'll provide any help I can. Your intro is obviously very honest. It's also motivating. Stay strong!
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Never to late is 100% true. Welcome.