KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: horseman on December 26, 2013, 09:56:00 AM
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Well, I am a quitter, day 3. It will be a good day if I can make it through it without a dip or punching someone in the throat.
I am 44 and have dipped since I was 20. I have quit once before on my own (didnt know of this place ) for 6 months. Thought I could handle dipping every once in awhile.
My story is probably like a broken record.
I train horses for a living and hang around dippers all the time. Hard to be around it so much.
Jenny's (I think that was her name) story brought me to my knees. I want to have a long life with my wife and son. I see him look at me like I looked at my father.
So!!!!! Today is my day three of being a quitter.
Pray I dont punch anyone in the throat today, I guess that goes for anyday.
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You're doing a good thing Horseman. I'm on Day 8 and have quit in the past on my own. I don't mind so much the hell I experience as I withdrawal; it's the hell my son and daughter experience that tears me up . So no, there's absolutely no such thing as just one. I never want them to go through my mindless and groundless anger again. Hang tough!
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Well, I am a quitter, day 3. It will be a good day if I can make it through it without a dip or punching someone in the throat.
I am 44 and have dipped since I was 20. I have quit once before on my own (didnt know of this place ) for 6 months. Thought I could handle dipping every once in awhile.
My story is probably like a broken record.
I train horses for a living and hang around dippers all the time. Hard to be around it so much.
Jenny's (I think that was her name) story brought me to my knees. I want to have a long life with my wife and son. I see him look at me like I looked at my father.
So!!!!! Today is my day three of being a quitter.
Pray I dont punch anyone in the throat today, I guess that goes for anyday.
My prayer for you is that you lose the "if I can make it" attitude. You don't realize it now, but YOU CAN do this!!! So, go ahead and call your shot. Step up to the plate and point your effing bat at left field. Nothing...and I mean abso-fuckin-lutely nothing...can force you to put that shit in your mouth today. You're in control now.
Go to the Welcome Center. Learn how and why we post roll...then do it. Remember, you're not saying you never will do it again. None of us is making that promise. All we are doing, and all we ask of you, is promise not to do it TODAY. Today is all that matters.
That is all there is to it. We'll deal with tomorrow, next week, next month, whatever when they get here. So, post roll and read all you can on this site. If you need anything, just ask. Oh, and don't punch anyone in the throat today. :P
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Welcome to KTC amigo. Day three is awesome. Guessing you have read through the welcome center. Check your inbox and keep up the good work.
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Welcome Horseman, great decision to be quit! You are on your way!
You absolutely can do this. I was a 35+ year user, now clean for 686 days. There are thousands of bad ass quitters on this board who will help you. The key, promise us and yourself no dip today by putting your name on roll. Nut up and keep that promise today. Do it again tomorrow. Reach out and make some friends here, let them help hold you accountable. Simple, but not easy. Don't punch anyone in the throat or take out your rage on your family. Come in here to vent (live chat, PMs, whatever), we completely understand it and can take it. You absolutely can do this!
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Welcome to the fun house Horseman! You are getting some expert advice and support already from some quitters with punch! Im only a little ahead of you but wanted to weigh with some support since I see some of my early years in your story- I grew up around horses and dippers, etc. My one longer stop in the past was probably about 6 -10 months, too- solo but with xyban. Didn't take because i thought I could just dip a little from time to time- didin't understand the addiction and didn't have support or accountabilty- it was very easy for me to be a "ninja" dipper- dipping in secret.
Now it's different becuase I found this site. The more you learn, the more you will hate nicotine because of the nastiness of the addiction. The more you work the site, the more support and accountability you will create- and that will carry you through the hard times. It will be tough at times, but it gets better. I can tell you that much already.
Get numbers, get a network of accountability and support, and you will help yourself quit for good. Day three is great--- keep it going, one day at a time, or one hour at a time if need be!
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Horseman, I quit Dec 23 2012, so we are exactly one year apart. I am 42 and was a 21 year dipper. You are going to have some quit momentum going into New Years. Have a good plan to make it through the New Year, go to bed early if you have to, stay off the road so you don't have to drive by a store that sells chew late at night/early in the morning. If you are anything like me you will hear a voice in your head on 12/31, tempting you. Do not fall for it. Be strong. Be quit
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Congrats on quitting horseman. We are all nicotine addicts here, so please know that all the quitters here are just like you. The key thing to do here is to quit one day at a time. The way you do this is by posting roll in your group every damn day. This is your sacred promise to stay quit for that day. Once that promise is made, you have removed the possibility of nicotine from that day's equation. So do it every day, and do it first thing then caving to temptation will not be an option.
Welcome to freedom!!
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I have never heard of a "horseman" that wasn't tough enough to beat a weed. You might have to pull out a few weapons like KTC but you can win. I know you can.
Mogul
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Dude, one of my biggest fears about being quit was that I would take the rage out on my wife or children. I am truely not an angry person and I would not permit myself to behave that way around my family, ever. 12 years of marrage, my oldest son is 9 and he had never heard me raise my voice in anger. Sure the wife and I have had some doosies, but if I'm getting hot headed I leave for a bit.
But the night the Nic-rage and I threw a terrible temper-tantrum that ended with my entire family in tears and I broken hand after I punched a tree on my way out of the yard... Never again. Especially not durning the holidays. So I can't quit til after the holidays.
My intro title says "Almost there, Quit date dec 31st blah blah blah." Yet here I am on day 22 and not a tantrum has been thrown... at least not in or anywhere near my familys direction. The people here have helped me keep it in control.
I give you permission to punch someone in the throat. The Nic-bitch and her cravings. Punch them in the throat. Punch them over and over. I use the rage as fuel, just another, powerful reason to never, ever touch that poisonous shit again.
Also, I'm in the Army, others here are in other branches of military. Dip Galore, everywhere. I urge you to be clear with users arround you that you are Quit. They will either totally and respectfully support you because they want to be done with the poision too, or be total dicks about it. Now you know who to avoid if possible. I straight up told my dipping friends I am quit. Please do not offer me tobacco in any form. There is a chance I will take it from you, but only to destroy it. Should I ask for tobacco from you, in any form, you can only give it to me, ONLY after kicking me in my quitter balls as hard as you can.
I haven't caved, and I havent been kicked in the balls. To my surprise they have all been supportive, not one if them has made the slightest attempt to hurt my quit and one of them has even registered here... gotta get that bastard to post roll though...
Welcome and congratulations on making the best decision of your life!
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Hey Horseman. If you want to quit you've come to the right place. So saddle up and slide n ride cowboy. Here that's going to mean read everything on this site and gather as many names and contacts as you can. Contacts of the vets that have gone before you and the folks in your quit group. Hey I think you can do it. You didn't wait on a stupid New Years resolution, just jumped in. Way to go. Check your inbox.
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Made it through the day without a conflict. Lol, thanks to everyone for all the comments and support today. It really helped. Gonna reward myself with ice cream tonight. Might end up being a quitter with a big ice cream ass.
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Made it through the day without a conflict. Lol, thanks to everyone for all the comments and support today. It really helped. Gonna reward myself with ice cream tonight. Might end up being a quitter with a big ice cream ass.
Congrats, horseman. Do whatever it takes to keep your promise, don't worry about an ice cream ass. If you don't eat ice cream, you're not gonna get a head ache. You're not gonna have withdrawal from ice cream. You're not gonna leave tubs of ice cream to ferment on your dash. I doubt you'll be getting dressed at 1am to drive 30 minutes in a snowstorm to get a Rocky Road fix. You're not gonna purposely sit in the dark back corner of the school auditorium and miss all the good stuff during junior's band concert because you might be able to sneak in a bit of Mint Chocolate Chip without being noticed. So go ahead and chow down if it helps brother. Ice cream will never have the power to control you that nicotine had.
You are winning this time. You can do this thing. You're discomfort is only temporary....it gets better. WAY better. Just stay with the program.
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Horseman, proud to have you on the team and happy for you that you made it to day 4. I'm still relatively new to the quit (day 16), but I'll just say that all of my failed quits are in the past and I've been quit since I jumped on the KTC train. Keep posting roll and just know I quit with you. There's no quitting the quit now.
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Made it through the day without a conflict. Lol, thanks to everyone for all the comments and support today. It really helped. Gonna reward myself with ice cream tonight. Might end up being a quitter with a big ice cream ass.
nice going new brother.
I too leaned on food when I quit. maybe a little too much (as yes it does start to taste soooooo much better). And when I did I gained 35 pounds in my first 120 days. But guess what. That is nothing compared to getting the nicotine out of my life,
yes that is a lot of weight, but when someone explained to me you can shed a few pounds easier than you can shed cancer, it did put it into perspective.
and since that time, I have went on to lose close to 50 pounds and am in the best shape of my life, and all at 42 years old.
So do what you must at this point in time, just never again with the poison.
And I will quit each day right beside you,
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I doubt you'll be getting dressed at 1am to drive 30 minutes in a snowstorm to get a Rocky Road fix.
I don't know man....Rocky Road is some good shit.
Congrats on the quit. We're all fighting this together, there's power in numbers!
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Ok, so I think that I have the nic bitch out of my system. Still a little foggy at times and have a hell of a time not eating everything in sight. Constantly want to stop and get something at every convience store I pass. Jaw hurts at times, like I want to grind my teeth, hard.
I have been using cans of shredded beef jerky, it is not to bad actually. Takes care of my cravings.
Showed the wife all the places I have stashed dip in the past. Crazy, but I really didnt know just how fucked up this stuff has made me. It is like I have been some crazy dude who has been cheating on my family with Nico the bitch.
It has cheated me out of time with my wife and time with my son.
Nicotene will not get ahold of me again. The fog is lifting and I can see you for the ugly nasty skank that that you are.
Now, off to get some ice cream. I may have to take up crossfit or something.
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Lots of celery. Lots and lots of celery. It's like eating water.
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Lots of celery. Lots and lots of celery. It's like eating water.
At times in the past I have used some of the strands of celery to fashion a fake dip too- the taste is strong and natural, and the consistency worked for me.
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Ok, so I think that I have the nic bitch out of my system. Still a little foggy at times and have a hell of a time not eating everything in sight. Constantly want to stop and get something at every convience store I pass. Jaw hurts at times, like I want to grind my teeth, hard.
I have been using cans of shredded beef jerky, it is not to bad actually. Takes care of my cravings.
Showed the wife all the places I have stashed dip in the past. Crazy, but I really didnt know just how fucked up this stuff has made me. It is like I have been some crazy dude who has been cheating on my family with Nico the bitch.
It has cheated me out of time with my wife and time with my son.
Nicotene will not get ahold of me again. The fog is lifting and I can see you for the ugly nasty skank that that you are.
Now, off to get some ice cream. I may have to take up crossfit or something.
It really is amazing to look at the crazy sh*t we considered normal. Once we get outside and have a chance to look back, the insanity of it all becomes so clear. Welcome to the other side. Stay strong and stay quit.
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Ok, so I think that I have the nic bitch out of my system. Still a little foggy at times and have a hell of a time not eating everything in sight. Constantly want to stop and get something at every convience store I pass. Jaw hurts at times, like I want to grind my teeth, hard.
I have been using cans of shredded beef jerky, it is not to bad actually. Takes care of my cravings.
Showed the wife all the places I have stashed dip in the past. Crazy, but I really didnt know just how fucked up this stuff has made me. It is like I have been some crazy dude who has been cheating on my family with Nico the bitch.
It has cheated me out of time with my wife and time with my son.
Nicotene will not get ahold of me again. The fog is lifting and I can see you for the ugly nasty skank that that you are.
Now, off to get some ice cream. I may have to take up crossfit or something.
It really is amazing to look at the crazy sh*t we considered normal. Once we get outside and have a chance to look back, the insanity of it all becomes so clear. Welcome to the other side. Stay strong and stay quit.
Remember that the nicotine is physically out of your system, but it is far from from gone mentally. Buckle up because this is where you find out what you are made of.
We all go thru this and you are doing great. Eat all the ice cream you need and crossfit is a great idea. I think I ate a pint of ice cream each day for 40 days. Put on a few lbs, but it served its purpose. Ice cream is better than the altenative.
Keep battling bro. ODAAT. Continue to focus on today... that is the only way! Quit on!
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New Years day, just over one week quit. Starting to like the feeling of being quit and my breath not smelling like ass.
Went to a wedding last night, there were a lot of triggers there. I stopped a couple times and visited the KTC website. Big help!!!
Posted late today cause my phone died and was missed by a fellow quitter.
I know that I quit WITH my quit brothers.
Looking forward to posting in the morning.
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New Years day, just over one week quit. Starting to like the feeling of being quit and my breath not smelling like ass.
Went to a wedding last night, there were a lot of triggers there. I stopped a couple times and visited the KTC website. Big help!!!
Posted late today cause my phone died and was missed by a fellow quitter.
I know that I quit WITH my quit brothers.
Looking forward to posting in the morning.
Right on Horseman. You are crushin it. I quit with you.
PB
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New Years day, just over one week quit. Starting to like the feeling of being quit and my breath not smelling like ass.
Went to a wedding last night, there were a lot of triggers there. I stopped a couple times and visited the KTC website. Big help!!!
Posted late today cause my phone died and was missed by a fellow quitter.
I know that I quit WITH my quit brothers.
Looking forward to posting in the morning.
Great job surviving the triggers at a wedding. Tough as nails you are.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
You are doing it, you are winning and are not weak.
Keep reading up here, jump into the live chat. Keep busy both your mind and body....one of the keys to trumping this addiction.
standing beside you in this fight one day at a time.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Horseman nice job grinding it out. Tough day here too. Took me by surprise because yesterday (day 5) was all rosy and relatively easy compared to "the big suck" of days 1~4. Today day 6 was like I re-entered the suck. not quite as heavy but still distracted at work with no sustained ability to concentrate. Snapped at a couple of people when I should have held my tongue. Fuh-uck the suck that we're swimming in. But I will keep my quit. There's too much riding on it.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Horseman nice job grinding it out. Tough day here too. Took me by surprise because yesterday (day 5) was all rosy and relatively easy compared to "the big suck" of days 1~4. Today day 6 was like I re-entered the suck. not quite as heavy but still distracted at work with no sustained ability to concentrate. Snapped at a couple of people when I should have held my tongue. Fuh-uck the suck that we're swimming in. But I will keep my quit. There's too much riding on it.
Go Zillah, I thought things were lightening up a bit for me too. Got kinda cocky from doing so well on New Years.
I am glad I only have to quit today!! LOL
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Horseman nice job grinding it out. Tough day here too. Took me by surprise because yesterday (day 5) was all rosy and relatively easy compared to "the big suck" of days 1~4. Today day 6 was like I re-entered the suck. not quite as heavy but still distracted at work with no sustained ability to concentrate. Snapped at a couple of people when I should have held my tongue. Fuh-uck the suck that we're swimming in. But I will keep my quit. There's too much riding on it.
Go Zillah, I thought things were lightening up a bit for me too. Got kinda cocky from doing so well on New Years.
I am glad I only have to quit today!! LOL
Way to battle yesterday my friend! Nicotine is a highly addictive substance it owned all of us. You are not alone. I like to see that anger! Let that anger fuel your quit today.
I too hate the fact that I was a slave for 25 years to a weed. I hate the fact that I padded the pockets of Big T for so many years! What a waste!
Dude... You are not weak and pathetic! You are a bad man!. You are here... and you are QUIT! Do not give in to the nic B! Fight today! I am quit with you all day long!
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Horseman nice job grinding it out. Tough day here too. Took me by surprise because yesterday (day 5) was all rosy and relatively easy compared to "the big suck" of days 1~4. Today day 6 was like I re-entered the suck. not quite as heavy but still distracted at work with no sustained ability to concentrate. Snapped at a couple of people when I should have held my tongue. Fuh-uck the suck that we're swimming in. But I will keep my quit. There's too much riding on it.
Go Zillah, I thought things were lightening up a bit for me too. Got kinda cocky from doing so well on New Years.
I am glad I only have to quit today!! LOL
Way to battle yesterday my friend! Nicotine is a highly addictive substance it owned all of us. You are not alone. I like to see that anger! Let that anger fuel your quit today.
I too hate the fact that I was a slave for 25 years to a weed. I hate the fact that I padded the pockets of Big T for so many years! What a waste!
Dude... You are not weak and pathetic! You are a bad man!. You are here... and you are QUIT! Do not give in to the nic B! Fight today! I am quit with you all day long!
Doing great horseman. I think I was about 3 or 4 days quit when everything got real for me. I don't know why,, the first 3 were easy to me. Maybe it was because it was new and the decision that I had made was exciting.
I remember sitting on the sofa talking with the wife while on ktc. I remember telling her that I didn't know how I was going to get through it. I knew this,, I was not going to put the poison in my pie hole and I didn't care how bad things got. I made it through that night using my wife, ktc and my word. Now i'm 323 days quit and couldn't be happier.
I can't tell you when my last serious crave was. I can't tell you that I never have craves but I can tell you they are few and far between. When they do come it's so easy to push them aside with a smile.
It's worth it horseman,, stay the course. Keep your head pointed forward and make your way to the door. Nothing back there but a can of the filthy disgusting poison. Glad to be quit with you.
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Listen to these guys Horsey. We've been where you are and are better men for having blasted through it. Never again for any reason. Sounds like you're buying into that motto and use it to fuel and own your quit every day.
Proud to be quit with you today bro. PM if you need anything.
JZ
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Things are getting pretty clear. I am loving my quit more and more everyday.
I still have cravings and am not letting my guard down. I just know know what I have been missing and will not trade it for some poison in a can. If I start to get a craving, now it just pisses me off!!!
It is an invador to my family, my sanity, my money. That thief and liar will get nothing short of an ass whoopin from me.
Welcome to my quit!!!
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Things are getting pretty clear. I am loving my quit more and more everyday.
I still have cravings and am not letting my guard down. I just know know what I have been missing and will not trade it for some poison in a can. If I start to get a craving, now it just pisses me off!!!
It is an invador to my family, my sanity, my money. That thief and liar will get nothing short of an ass whoopin from me.
Welcome to my quit!!!
BAM!! I like it!
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that's some serious quit even from a horseman. Love it
Mogul
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Horseman, I'm going to have to comment again. I apologize if I'm crowding or taking up space.
YOU, dude, YOU got this. Only you can now let yourself down. You have so many wins in your pocket over the bitch that all it takes now is a deep breath and one day at a time.
I will say that the first 20 days or so (especially the first 10) went by really slow. Then, the single digits kept clicking away and now I'm at 70 and I don't even remember 60. I have made some damn good friends (you know who you are) and I plan on making a lot more here at KTC. You're strong, committed, and you don't take prisoners. Stick around, you will be a hero to many that come after you. I will stand beside you all the way.
Chris "Mogul" Baker
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Things are getting pretty clear. I am loving my quit more and more everyday.
I still have cravings and am not letting my guard down. I just know know what I have been missing and will not trade it for some poison in a can. If I start to get a craving, now it just pisses me off!!!
It is an invador to my family, my sanity, my money. That thief and liar will get nothing short of an ass whoopin from me.
Welcome to my quit!!!
BAM!! I like it!
that is the attitude to build.
yes you are not only winning, but you are also gaining something more valuable and that is the education for how to beat this day after day.
keep on learning, keep on quitting
and always on guard....I quit right beside you.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Rest assured this sums up virtually every one on this site's first few weeks. Keep owning it and keep using your old self as motivation. Don't be too hard on yourself though, you've chosen to save your life and that is no small cookies.
Quit today and worry about tomorrow if/when it gets here. You got this and we got you.
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Man, one heck of a tuff day today. Lots of things triggered some tuff cravings.
I think that if I had the shit in front of me I might have caved a couple of times today.
I cannot believe that this crap has such a hold on me. It makes me ashamed ofbeing such a weak and pathetic man.
This crap has had me by the balls and blind for so long. It makes me fighting mad!!!
I see why quitting everyday and posting is so important. Nic is deceptive and can talk you back into a relationship.
Well I say Phuck You, you crazy bitch.
Man I want these cravings to quit.
Rest assured this sums up virtually every one on this site's first few weeks. Keep owning it and keep using your old self as motivation. Don't be too hard on yourself though, you've chosen to save your life and that is no small cookies.
Quit today and worry about tomorrow if/when it gets here. You got this and we got you.
Ditto. You only have to think and focus on keeping your word today. Don't concern yourself about being quit tomorrow or forever. You aren't quit tomorrow if you cave today.
Get through today. You can make it today, I promise it might suck but its not going to kill you. Just don't cave after all a post today and your word holds more value to you than a dip today. Remember you gave your word.
Fuck the nic bitch if she thinks she is more valuable than your word? Who the hell and what did she ever bring to your loyal relationship?
Knock the bitch out now and secure your word and say, "Not now and Not today."
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So I am on week three. Cravings have come back from being a little lax for a couple days. Not like the first week where I thought I would chew my arm off at times. Right now the cravings are short but more of my mind trying to convince me that jI can handle just a pinch once in awhile.
I can see why the brotherhood here is so important. I have intentionally told most all the people I come in contact with all day that I have quit. I feel like this makes me have even more people that I am accountable to.
This thing is a freaking everyday battle for my life.
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Introduction to all my brothers and sisters in the battle.
Horseman
Aka Todd
Occupation: professional horse trainer, train and compete on horses in reining.
Family: Wife of 14 years, 7 yr old son, both are my best friends
44 years of age, have been a dipper for 24+ years, half or more with cope, then skoal and grizzly
I know that I have only been quit for 3 weeks but I wil not fail cause I will not quit quitting everyday.
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So I am on week three. Cravings have come back from being a little lax for a couple days. Not like the first week where I thought I would chew my arm off at times. Right now the cravings are short but more of my mind trying to convince me that jI can handle just a pinch once in awhile.
I can see why the brotherhood here is so important. I have intentionally told most all the people I come in contact with all day that I have quit. I feel like this makes me have even more people that I am accountable to.
This thing is a freaking everyday battle for my life.
Days 20-30 are physiologically important as the receptors in your brain began to creep back to normal non-nicotine addict levels. It was a strange time for me as well. We lose plenty in this secondary funk. Don't let it be you. Continue to recognize and smash craves - just like youre doing. You are battling for your life. Thousands here have done it - so can you.
Remember "Reach out or reach around - just dont reach in"
(v)
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You are doing this well man. Keep tracking, alert. You are practicing and learning all the time- it's a new and better way of life you are earning day by day.
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It has really helped to know that these cravings are only gonna last 3 to 5 minutes. The hardest part the past couple of days are stopping at the gas station and getting out of there with just gum or candy.
Having a plan has made the difference and also telling everyone I see everyday that I am quit. Just added accountability. I have considered even telling the clerk at the gas station that I am quit just in case. LoL.
One of my plans is to recognize a crave quick and change the subject or go straight to the thought of my son tellimg me how proud he is of my quit and smiling then putting his little hand on my face.
Now that will make you want to throat punch the nic bitch for even trying to have a conversation with me.
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It has really helped to know that these cravings are only gonna last 3 to 5 minutes. The hardest part the past couple of days are stopping at the gas station and getting out of there with just gum or candy.
Having a plan has made the difference and also telling everyone I see everyday that I am quit. Just added accountability. I have considered even telling the clerk at the gas station that I am quit just in case. LoL.
One of my plans is to recognize a crave quick and change the subject or go straight to the thought of my son tellimg me how proud he is of my quit and smiling then putting his little hand on my face.
Now that will make you want to throat punch the nic bitch for even trying to have a conversation with me.
BUMP
good read for the foggy b-tards hanging in here
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So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
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So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!
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So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!
nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.
quittin right beside you today.
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So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!
nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.
quittin right beside you today.
Outstanding!
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So I write this really for myself, so I have a place to go back and review what it is that I am going through. Mostly cause I dont want to forget how long this torment of mind games and crap takes. I dont want to fool myself into thinking it wasnt that bad.
I am 44 days quit right now. I am at the point now that I tell everyone that I am quit because I figure that if they know I am quit then they are part of my accountability group too.
Hardest part of my quit right now is stupid little voice telling me that I can handle it now and that I could just sneak a little nic and no one would know. What kind of idiot does the nic think I am. For 24 years I have been a slave and I have no desire to go back. What are you luring me back with?
What part do you want back?
Gums that are tore up
Skin in your mouth that peals off?
Discolored teeth cause you choose to keep a dip in instead of brushing?
Your wife and kid telling you that your breath is horrible
Spilt spit cups in your truck?
Truck smelling like something died cause of spit cups?
Trying to answer your wife with a mouth full of spit.
Sneaking into closet first thing in the morning to get a dip before your shower?
Skipping breakfast for a dip?
People looking at you with discust because you have spit all over the ground around you?
Knocking over your spit cup next to the bed and having to clean it up before the wife sees it?
Naw, I think I am done with your scanky ass Nic.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Dude...I just got wood. Fucking awesome!!!
nice job, way to realize what you are going through and what you don't want to do again.
quittin right beside you today.
Outstanding!
sums up life perfectly as a shit stuffing cancer user.
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I posted day 87 this morning. Things have gone along relatively well for the past couple of weeks. No major craves just little triggers that I dont give 2 seconds thought to anymore. Mostly cause it is easier to look at the nic bitch like an old girlfriend, been there done that and dont want to revisit that crazy bitch.
Weird thing is that I have had cave dreams the past two nights. I dont think that I have had one before this point. I am the kind that rarely even remembers his dream but I am waking up to thinking I have caved. Last night I saw a can and the next thing I knew I had a wad in my lip.
Makes me realize that the nic bitch is just that, she is that super crazy bitch that would try to sneak in your house in the middle of the night. You would wake up and the crazy shit is sitting in a chair by your bed staring at you and asking why you wont answer her calls.
The nic bitch gives me the creeps. I quit that creepy bitch every damn day.
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I'm only on day 32 but have experienced 4 of those dreams. In every dream I give in. The feeling of remorse I have afterwards is overwhelming. Then I realize it was just a dream and that I'm still quit and clean....what a relief. No way I'm going to cave like I do in the dreams. It's horrible.
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I've had three of those dreams already in the first 16 days of my quit. The first two were snuff dreams that were so realistic that they woke me up. What a feeling of relief when you wake up to find that you haven't really caved. Last night I dreamed that I was smoking a pipe, which I did occasionally in addition to dipping. I read about the dip dreams, but I didn't know they would be so frequent and vivid.
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Horse,
I'm on day 709. I went the first 50-60 days without any dip dreams. I can't say it's been 100% consistent, but months where I have 4 or 5 a week. Some I wake up immediately knowing it was a dream and others I wake up in a cold sweat, in almost tears thinking I have to post day 1.
Some people don't get them at all, and some people get them bad. I do take medication for depression and anxiety (not related to my quit) and I think that might have something to do with it.
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I posted day 87 this morning. Things have gone along relatively well for the past couple of weeks. No major craves just little triggers that I dont give 2 seconds thought to anymore. Mostly cause it is easier to look at the nic bitch like an old girlfriend, been there done that and dont want to revisit that crazy bitch.
Weird thing is that I have had cave dreams the past two nights. I dont think that I have had one before this point. I am the kind that rarely even remembers his dream but I am waking up to thinking I have caved. Last night I saw a can and the next thing I knew I had a wad in my lip.
Makes me realize that the nic bitch is just that, she is that super crazy bitch that would try to sneak in your house in the middle of the night. You would wake up and the crazy shit is sitting in a chair by your bed staring at you and asking why you wont answer her calls.
The nic bitch gives me the creeps. I quit that creepy bitch every damn day.
Sounds creepy Horse. Keep slaying the bitch ODAAT. I quit with you EDD!
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I posted day 87 this morning. Things have gone along relatively well for the past couple of weeks. No major craves just little triggers that I dont give 2 seconds thought to anymore. Mostly cause it is easier to look at the nic bitch like an old girlfriend, been there done that and dont want to revisit that crazy bitch.
Weird thing is that I have had cave dreams the past two nights. I dont think that I have had one before this point. I am the kind that rarely even remembers his dream but I am waking up to thinking I have caved. Last night I saw a can and the next thing I knew I had a wad in my lip.
Makes me realize that the nic bitch is just that, she is that super crazy bitch that would try to sneak in your house in the middle of the night. You would wake up and the crazy shit is sitting in a chair by your bed staring at you and asking why you wont answer her calls.
The nic bitch gives me the creeps. I quit that creepy bitch every damn day.
Sounds creepy Horse. Keep slaying the bitch ODAAT. I quit with you EDD!
Denying the Bitch during the day is easy cause we have our guards up. At night she can fuck with your subconscious. Bitch has no power in dream land thank God!
P.S. sounds like you got some crazy EX Girlfriends........... Whats there number? :D
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I posted day 87 this morning. Things have gone along relatively well for the past couple of weeks. No major craves just little triggers that I dont give 2 seconds thought to anymore. Mostly cause it is easier to look at the nic bitch like an old girlfriend, been there done that and dont want to revisit that crazy bitch.
Weird thing is that I have had cave dreams the past two nights. I dont think that I have had one before this point. I am the kind that rarely even remembers his dream but I am waking up to thinking I have caved. Last night I saw a can and the next thing I knew I had a wad in my lip.
Makes me realize that the nic bitch is just that, she is that super crazy bitch that would try to sneak in your house in the middle of the night. You would wake up and the crazy shit is sitting in a chair by your bed staring at you and asking why you wont answer her calls.
The nic bitch gives me the creeps. I quit that creepy bitch every damn day.
Sounds creepy Horse. Keep slaying the bitch ODAAT. I quit with you EDD!
Horseman. This is absolutely normal for addicts. We don't crave and we don't dream by choice. It comes from our subconscious. From there we can chose to glamorize and entertain the crave or get support to have it leave. Have you ever been craving and like that, the craving is gone? This is part of the re-wire process. The feelings of using nic are still so vivid in a dream because your brain stored the memory. The memory receptors and the feel good receptors bypass your frontal lobe so the decision to think about dip or not think about it is impossible. Your brain experienced it and stored the memory. You can't control a crave or a dream but you can chose to dismiss the crave.
729 days the night before my 2 year mark and I had one. It was a nightmare of sorts. I keep spitting out skoal long cut. It wasn't in a nice wad it would separate and was all over my tongue, teeth and lips. When I rinsed it out, I could still feel grains and if someone came up to me, I had another lipper in. No matter what I did, I couldn't rid my mouth of tobacco until I woke. But I did wake and posted roll then went about my day. No harm, no foul just a subconscious memory fart in my sleep.
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Hit 90 today, feeling cautiously optimistic about my quit. Don't want to get ahead of myself but I am getting comfortable with my quit and actually feel like I can start to trust myself a bit. Had a good friend deliver hay yesterday and had a talk with him about KTC while he had a fatty shoved in his lip. We had talked about quitting before, I got to share with him about my quit. I really hope it got him thinking. He has three young boys that sure think a lot of their dad and want to be like him.
And yes I have had some crazy ex's but none as crazy as the nic bitch.
I am also taking pretty serious the fact that I will be the first of my group to hit 100. Not all in the group know me but I am sure that many watch my numbers. I am an addict, I am quit, I will quit again in the morning.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
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Hit 90 today, feeling cautiously optimistic about my quit. Don't want to get ahead of myself but I am getting comfortable with my quit and actually feel like I can start to trust myself a bit. Had a good friend deliver hay yesterday and had a talk with him about KTC while he had a fatty shoved in his lip. We had talked about quitting before, I got to share with him about my quit. I really hope it got him thinking. He has three young boys that sure think a lot of their dad and want to be like him.
And yes I have had some crazy ex's but none as crazy as the nic bitch.
I am also taking pretty serious the fact that I will be the first of my group to hit 100. Not all in the group know me but I am sure that many watch my numbers. I am an addict, I am quit, I will quit again in the morning.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Excellent!! Great attitude.
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Hit 90 today, feeling cautiously optimistic about my quit. Don't want to get ahead of myself but I am getting comfortable with my quit and actually feel like I can start to trust myself a bit. Had a good friend deliver hay yesterday and had a talk with him about KTC while he had a fatty shoved in his lip. We had talked about quitting before, I got to share with him about my quit. I really hope it got him thinking. He has three young boys that sure think a lot of their dad and want to be like him.
And yes I have had some crazy ex's but none as crazy as the nic bitch.
I am also taking pretty serious the fact that I will be the first of my group to hit 100. Not all in the group know me but I am sure that many watch my numbers. I am an addict, I am quit, I will quit again in the morning.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Excellent!! Great attitude.
Well put Horesman, I like that "cautiously optomistic" Thats a good way to put it, because, A.) You are damn right 90 days of quit is awesome, and something to be proud of. B.) Always keeping your guard up because you know that you have to quit ODAAT, is a smart Idea and shows true quitter qualities. Keep doing what your doing bud. Lead the way for your group to the HoF.
Winter Green
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Hit 90 today, feeling cautiously optimistic about my quit. Don't want to get ahead of myself but I am getting comfortable with my quit and actually feel like I can start to trust myself a bit. Had a good friend deliver hay yesterday and had a talk with him about KTC while he had a fatty shoved in his lip. We had talked about quitting before, I got to share with him about my quit. I really hope it got him thinking. He has three young boys that sure think a lot of their dad and want to be like him.
And yes I have had some crazy ex's but none as crazy as the nic bitch.
I am also taking pretty serious the fact that I will be the first of my group to hit 100. Not all in the group know me but I am sure that many watch my numbers. I am an addict, I am quit, I will quit again in the morning.
Eating my elephant one bite at a time.
Excellent!! Great attitude.
Well put Horesman, I like that "cautiously optomistic" Thats a good way to put it, because, A.) You are damn right 90 days of quit is awesome, and something to be proud of. B.) Always keeping your guard up because you know that you have to quit ODAAT, is a smart Idea and shows true quitter qualities. Keep doing what your doing bud. Lead the way for your group to the HoF.
Winter Green
Horseman, nice post. I think it's cool to spread the word (don't have to be an asshole about it). Ordered a shirt yesterday, I will wear it on organized motorcycle rides, out to the bar when I am at my camp, etc. Places where there is a good chance someone with a lip full may see it and ask. Hoping it may start a conversation or two and ultimately save a life or two. Also, going to make sure my dentist knows about KTC. Pay it forward. Proud to be quit with you and all of April. Glad you are blazing the trail, congrats on 90! It did not elude me that you will be the first to hit HOF in our group. Have been watching your quit all along!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
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Congrats man, I am proud of you.
Get the guard up real high for the next 30 or so days. Something about trying to get to 100 for what seems like a million days, getting there, seeing it's just another day and then that little bitch attacks you.
It's easy to get through it but keep your tools close and be ready.
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
Great job Horseman! Enjoy your accomplishment and get your ass back here tomorrow to post 101.
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
Great job Horseman! Enjoy your accomplishment and get your ass back here tomorrow to post 101.
Does Willy know you are quit? Well done Horseman enjoy your day, this is just a water station not the finish line there is no finish line.
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
Great job Horseman! Enjoy your accomplishment and get your ass back here tomorrow to post 101.
Does Willy know you are quit? Well done Horseman enjoy your day, this is just a water station not the finish line there is no finish line.
Nice job Horseman!
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
Great job Horseman! Enjoy your accomplishment and get your ass back here tomorrow to post 101.
Does Willy know you are quit? Well done Horseman enjoy your day, this is just a water station not the finish line there is no finish line.
Nice job Horseman!
Congrats on the HOF. It is no magical "cure date" so please stick around; everyday.
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100 days! Welcome to the milepost that is the HOF! Great accomplishment. Quit with you every day!
Congrats on reaching the hall!!
Way to go Horseman...you da man!
nice work!!!
The first of many milestones. Grab your choice of celebratory beverage, savor the day and get right back on the road.
Lots of quittin still left
Great job Horse!
fist pump!
Double Fist Pump!
Congratulations Horse! Great accomplishment
Great job Horseman! Enjoy your accomplishment and get your ass back here tomorrow to post 101.
Does Willy know you are quit? Well done Horseman enjoy your day, this is just a water station not the finish line there is no finish line.
Nice job Horseman!
Congrats on the HOF. It is no magical "cure date" so please stick around; everyday.
Great job!!! Keep it continuing.
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Dude, roll post at 8:56pm?????? Whats up with that crap? Unless you work odd hours or whatever, that is inexcusable man. Just because you are past 100 doesn't mean that your quit can take a back seat. It is still a priority bro. Don't slip into the shadows. Stay involved
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Hell yes to 365! Congrats on one solid year of quitting. Resolute Bastards! Way to go Horseman!
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Hell yes to 365! Congrats on one solid year of quitting. Resolute Bastards! Way to go Horseman!
Yeah I second that emotion!!!
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Hell yes to 365! Congrats on one solid year of quitting. Resolute Bastards! Way to go Horseman!
Yeah I second that emotion!!!
oh yeah
'oh yeah'
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Hell yes to 365! Congrats on one solid year of quitting. Resolute Bastards! Way to go Horseman!
Yeah I second that emotion!!!
oh yeah
'oh yeah'
Horseman leads the charge! with #2 ZC and #3 Lady G covering his back!!! Ain't freedom great!!!
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Hell yes to 365! Congrats on one solid year of quitting. Resolute Bastards! Way to go Horseman!
Yeah I second that emotion!!!
oh yeah
'oh yeah'
Horseman leads the charge! with #2 ZC and #3 Lady G covering his back!!! Ain't freedom great!!!
Way to be Horseman. Outstanding Sir! ;Ironman: