KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum

Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Bluegill on June 11, 2012, 03:46:00 PM

Title: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bluegill on June 11, 2012, 03:46:00 PM
This is day one. After twenty years of a can or two a day of long cut copenhagen, I am done. It has ruled me for too long. This is not going to be easy but I will stop.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: baudy on June 11, 2012, 04:00:00 PM
Welcome Bluegill,it is not going to be easy for you but we will help get you through it, I am at Day 7 working hard to stay sane.

You will be with me in September 2012 just go to the page in the Quit Group section and follow instructions.

Good luck and QLF!!
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Wedge on June 11, 2012, 04:24:00 PM
Quote from: Bluegill
This is day one. After twenty years of a can or two a day of long cut copenhagen, I am done. It has ruled me for too long. This is not going to be easy but I will stop.
No, you are going to QUIT. Not STOP. There is a difference and you are going to find how the difference feels shortly. Quit = never again. Stop = slight pause.

First thing, click here to read the Welcome Center. (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=13) Read EVERY letter.

As you read, posting roll is the backbone of this site and it is sacred. The spine, heart, and soul. It isn't easy to learn to do it 100% correct, but once you get it, you get it. Click here to watch a short video (http://www.killthecan.org/roll) on how to post roll correctly.

Ask questions, read as much of the site as you can, and participate in discussions. It's a proven fact that people who participate on the website quit and don't end up going back to the can.

Congrats on your decision to save your life.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Louisiananimal on June 11, 2012, 04:47:00 PM
Congrats! You've made your first step, now is where it gets hard. I believe if you really want to quit and accept its challenges then your quit should be easy. I've craved, lost sleep, raged, and everything under the sun but I've accepted the fact that I will never dip again and caving is not an option.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Wedge on June 11, 2012, 04:57:00 PM
Oh yeah...

Water - as much as you can drink. Someone put it best recently when they said if you walk by a bathroom and don't have to go, you aren't drinking enough

Walk - exercise as much as possible. Pushups, sit ups, whatever. Especially when you get a hard crave.

Willpower - Remember when you post roll, you are making a promise.




(And nyquil for the first couple of nights.)
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Cubsball13 on June 11, 2012, 05:12:00 PM
Bluegill: Welcome to hell... You ready? 4 days in and fog is dense...

I left the house w/the wrong set of keys this morning which of course lead me to curse my head off (Im sure anyone in a 50 yard radius heard me) which carried over to screaming at almost every car on the way to work... I started to think this morning... The dip is making me this way or is making me rage... then I almost laughed it was all that I could do...seriously was laugh, because I realized it wasnt the lack of dip...It was me posioning myself day in day out with Copenshit MY FAULT not the "dip's".

Still on edge for a bit-but by the time I am done posting/reading Mthomastherapy...the crave isnt as bad... If anything once you start craving log on and be active on the site... you wont dip... unless you have no morals. Welcome to Sept "Blue" we quit together. PM me if you want to exchange #'s

-Pat
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Wt57 on June 11, 2012, 05:48:00 PM
Quote from: Cubsball13
Bluegill: Welcome to hell... You ready? 4 days in and fog is dense...

I left the house w/the wrong set of keys this morning which of course lead me to curse my head off (Im sure anyone in a 50 yard radius heard me) which carried over to screaming at almost every car on the way to work... I started to think this morning... The dip is making me this way or is making me rage... then I almost laughed it was all that I could do...seriously was laugh, because I realized it wasnt the lack of dip...It was me posioning myself day in day out with Copenshit MY FAULT not the "dip's".

Still on edge for a bit-but by the time I am done posting/reading Mthomastherapy...the crave isnt as bad... If anything once you start craving log on and be active on the site... you wont dip... unless you have no morals. Welcome to Sept "Blue" we quit together. PM me if you want to exchange #'s

-Pat
I'm with you bluegill enjoy the freak show!
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bean on June 11, 2012, 05:50:00 PM
Great choice, Bluegill!!! Embrace the suck...it is the feeling of healing. Nobody get's out for the asking. You have to earn your freedom one day at a time. But here's the best part...now that you've taken the first step, we've got your back the rest of the way.

Commit to this and you can do it. Congrats, brother!
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Rez on June 11, 2012, 09:10:00 PM
awesome bro! follow the advice and the wisdom of those that have walked the path before us! proud to be quit with you!

rez
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bluegill on June 12, 2012, 01:02:00 PM
thanks for the support. I have to say that I am a little surprised about the way the lack of nicotine is affecting my body. I have quit and I will get through it. I used to love copenhagen, I am turning the love to hate.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bean on June 12, 2012, 02:07:00 PM
You gotta read more dude. Fan the flames of hatred. A big part of quitting is understanding your addiction. Read the Kern Family Story. Read that part about his daughter holding on to his foot in the hospital crying "don't go, daddy" as he died. I'm pretty sure the Kern family wouldn't reminisce about how much he once loved dip. In fact, I bet the mere sight of that shit in a store makes her about so goddam angry at American tobacco companies that she could just shit.

An important part of quitting is understanding your addiction. I hear what you're saying...I know you THINK you loved Copenshit. I thought that too. But you didn't. We loved nicotine. We loved the routine of getting our fixes...nothing else.

It is okay to admit...all of the badass quitters on here were once where you are. That is part of the mindfuck of addiction. Try the fake stuff. It tastes equally as awful as Copenshit did when you first stuffed it in your lip at camp or in high school or whatever, but without the nic. I bet you quit dipping that crap too. It has nothing to hook you. It is just honest to goodness crap to stick in you face so you look fat-lipped and stupid and spit alot...or was looking stupid and carrying around a cup of your own spit what you enjoyed?

Stay strong, stay quit, brother. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bluegill on June 12, 2012, 03:13:00 PM
I got the fake stuff and it is helping. I have an hour and a half commute to work, it is really helping with that.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: miles on June 12, 2012, 03:20:00 PM
Quote from: Bean
You gotta read more dude. Fan the flames of hatred. A big part of quitting is understanding your addiction. Read the Kern Family Story. Read that part about his daughter holding on to his foot in the hospital crying "don't go, daddy" as he died. I'm pretty sure the Kern family wouldn't reminisce about how much he once loved dip. In fact, I bet the mere sight of that shit in a store makes her about so goddam angry at American tobacco companies that she could just shit.

An important part of quitting is understanding your addiction. I hear what you're saying...I know you THINK you loved Copenshit. I thought that too. But you didn't. We loved nicotine. We loved the routine of getting our fixes...nothing else.

It is okay to admit...all of the badass quitters on here were once where you are. That is part of the mindfuck of addiction. Try the fake stuff. It tastes equally as awful as Copenshit did when you first stuffed it in your lip at camp or in high school or whatever, but without the nic. I bet you quit dipping that crap too. It has nothing to hook you. It is just honest to goodness crap to stick in you face so you look fat-lipped and stupid and spit alot...or was looking stupid and carrying around a cup of your own spit what you enjoyed?

Stay strong, stay quit, brother. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
That's solid advice...

We were all suckers. We did this to ourselves.

You CAN do this bluegill!
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: shoogie on June 12, 2012, 04:26:00 PM
You can do this Blue. I am on day 17 and I can tell you the 1st 3-4 days suck ass, but it gets easier and once you realize how much freedom you have gained form your decision to quit, you will be asking yourself why the hell you didnt quit earlier.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: mikegooch on June 12, 2012, 05:38:00 PM
Hey Bluegill.. They got a name for everything we'll go through around here! I'm on day 2... I said I had the fuzzy head  one of the Seniors let me know that was "the fog".. The fog sucks ass! Need a SUCK BUDDY! I be there! See you at roll call in the morning... I forgot to tell you something... You probably aint gonna sleep much tonight! or tom night.. Take melatonin... I take it all the time anyway!! (OH SHIT I WAS TYPING AWAY AT THIS SHIT  A BIG OLE CRAVE SNUNK UP AND BIT ME SQUARE ON THE NUT SACK!! I HATE THIS SHIT!) whew better now... Thanks for posting bro.. Gooch
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Branden on June 12, 2012, 07:02:00 PM
Quote from: mikegooch
Hey Bluegill.. They got a name for everything we'll go through around here! I'm on day 2... I said I had the fuzzy head  one of the Seniors let me know that was "the fog".. The fog sucks ass! Need a SUCK BUDDY! I be there! See you at roll call in the morning... I forgot to tell you something... You probably aint gonna sleep much tonight! or tom night.. Take melatonin... I take it all the time anyway!! (OH SHIT I WAS TYPING AWAY AT THIS SHIT  A BIG OLE CRAVE SNUNK UP AND BIT ME SQUARE ON THE NUT SACK!! I HATE THIS SHIT!) whew better now... Thanks for posting bro.. Gooch
I didn't sleep the first three nights. Then I found NyQuil! Melatonin did nothing for me. Good luck Blue! You got a solid group of us here going through the same shit.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: CleanFuel on June 12, 2012, 07:35:00 PM
Quote from: Branden
Quote from: mikegooch
Hey Bluegill..  They got a name for everything we'll go through around here!  I'm on day 2...  I said I had the fuzzy head  one of the Seniors let me know that was "the fog"..  The fog sucks ass!  Need a SUCK BUDDY!  I be there!  See you at roll call in the morning...  I forgot to tell you something... You probably aint gonna sleep much tonight!  or tom night.. Take melatonin...  I take it all the time anyway!!  (OH SHIT I  WAS TYPING AWAY AT THIS SHIT  A BIG OLE CRAVE SNUNK UP AND BIT ME SQUARE ON THE NUT SACK!!  I HATE THIS SHIT!)  whew better now... Thanks for posting bro.. Gooch
I didn't sleep the first three nights. Then I found NyQuil! Melatonin did nothing for me. Good luck Blue! You got a solid group of us here going through the same shit.
Then there is always industrial strength Ambien.....I went to an Urgent Care ... told them I was quitting nic and couldn't sleep and asked for the big boy meds.....got 15 pills.....great nights rest
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: 30yraddict on June 12, 2012, 09:21:00 PM
Quote from: CleanFuel
Quote from: Branden
Quote from: mikegooch
Hey Bluegill..  They got a name for everything we'll go through around here!  I'm on day 2...   I said I had the fuzzy head  one of the Seniors let me know that was "the fog"..  The fog sucks ass!  Need a SUCK BUDDY!  I be there!  See you at roll call in the morning...  I forgot to tell you something... You probably aint gonna sleep much tonight!  or tom night.. Take melatonin...  I take it all the time anyway!!  (OH SHIT I  WAS TYPING AWAY AT THIS SHIT  A BIG OLE CRAVE SNUNK UP AND BIT ME SQUARE ON THE NUT SACK!!  I HATE THIS SHIT!)  whew better now... Thanks for posting bro.. Gooch
I didn't sleep the first three nights. Then I found NyQuil! Melatonin did nothing for me. Good luck Blue! You got a solid group of us here going through the same shit.
Then there is always industrial strength Ambien.....I went to an Urgent Care ... told them I was quitting nic and couldn't sleep and asked for the big boy meds.....got 15 pills.....great nights rest
Benedryl puts me out... and didn't give me a "hangover" like melatonin did.
Title: Re: 20 years of cope, this is Day 1
Post by: Bluegill on June 12, 2012, 09:30:00 PM
I am use to not sleeping. I work a swing shift. I go from nights to days all the time anyway. This afternoon is going good. Exercise is my best therapy. I also have a good wife and kids that are real supportive. The smokey mountain chew is helping too.