KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: funnylatino on May 19, 2011, 11:32:00 PM
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Today, May 19, 2011 I quit. I have been a plagued addict for longer than I care to admit. I started chewing Skoal Mint on May 4, 1998, my first day in the field as a reserve deputy sheriff. I thought I had it under control, as most cops think they do... a little pinch here and a little pinch there. For the first few years, it took me a week or more to go through a can, as I did not chew at home, only when I was at work.
Things changed slowly and I started chewing at home. As I moved through different relationships, so did my ability to tell the truth about my chewing. All of the women I dated hated that I chewed, so I kept it from them and dipped in secret. Sometimes all I could think about was getting to dip, once my girlfriend was asleep. I was fooling myself.
I have since moved past that and my girlfriend of the past five years knows I chew and she never says anything. She's not my mom and expects me to be responsible for my own actions. I know she does not like it, but I'm a grown ass man and I "Should" know better.
I am now a sergeant with the sheriff's office where I live and chewing skoal mint has become part of my life up until today. There are at least three deputies on my shift who chew.... dip is never far away, even when you are out.
I have never had any bad dentist visits, but I know it's only a matter of time if I continue.
I have associated throwing in a dip with my response to stressful situations:
Burglary in progress... throw in a dip
Suicide... throw in a dip
Disturbance... throw in a dip
Domestic Violence... throw in a dip
Fight call... throw in a dip
Structure fire... throw in a dip
I just ate a meal... throw in a dip
Reading report... throw in a dip
I having problems with an employee... throw in a dip
I'm tired didn't get much sleep... throw in a dip
At this point "Any excuse related to stress"... throw in a dip
I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE!!!!! I want to live and be healthy. I don't want to have to worry about any minute change in my gums, lips or otherwise. I want to stop asking my friends to look at my lip and tell me if they think it looks ok or if they think there's anything cancerous visible. Seriously, I do this and I know I look like a jackass. For some reason it hasn't bothered me enough to quit. My friends and family love me and they all tell me to quit, but I have not listened.
I have trained for more than 13 years to become a police officer and I have been killing myself that entire time with chew. I wear a bullet proof vest, carry a gun, work out, eat lots of mexican food, train to fight, shoot, run, drive fast, etc.... and for what, to just put a cancer causing device in my mouth. I am an idiot and I've known that for a long time. I cannot believe I just let myself chew over and over and over... I must think I am a bullet proof cop. These types of cops often get themselves killed with this type of mentality... but, it's only a little chew right? or so I would tell myself.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have tossed my can away (usually was full), only to cave hours or minutes later, finding myself driving to the local store to replace the can I just tossed out.
I cannot go back and change what's happened. I have to accept where I am today and focus on not COP'IN out on my quit. Today, Day 1. I only have 2 1/2 hours until day 2.
That's all I can say now. I am here. I have read lots on this site today and I will need your help. I am weak against the chew. I admit it. I am an addict and slave to can... until today... until today..........
Later
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You are not alone.
You can do this.
Check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen.
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Welcome to the site, Funnylatino..
You have made the right decision.
You are in the August Bad Ass Quitters Group!
Post Roll early.. Basically this is a promise that you will not use tobacco/nicotine in any form TODAY..
And then keep your word.
Use alternatives (no tobacco/nicotine)...
Gum, Sunflower seeds, cinnamon toothpicks, Hooch, Smokey Mountain, Oregon Mint, Youngs..
Don't worry about tomorrow.. Just focus on TODAY.
IT WILL SUCK..
The Nicotine Slave Master will give you all sorts of reasons why you should give up and cave.. The Fog.. Headaches..
Embrace the suck and deal with it.
Nicotine is out of your body in 72 hours. You can do ANYTHING one day at a time..
Given you will be in fog for the next few days it probably would be a good idea to stay off the beat, if you can. Don't need to be foggy in the head if you are going to have to deal with an armed robber. Not advocating waiting to quit, or caving.. But Cancer is one thing.. Lead poisoning is totally another.
You have to make that call. I'm not a cop.. I lead a very sedate life as a programmer..
Sending you a PM.. If you need to rage, call me.. If you even think about caving, call me. If you just want to complain or talk, have questions, call me.
I dipped Skoal Long Cut for 31 years.. I'm on Quit day 32..
Yes, it is worth it.. My only regret is that I didn't find this site sooner.
You can do this!
Romandog
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FL-
100% right the fuck on.
Skoal mint, and later grizz mint, were my mistresses for close to 14 years. Christmas in a tin, they told me. I loved that bitch. More than my wife, who hated that I dipped. More than my kids, who I would willingly ignore if I could dip in peace.
This site saved me, FL. I'm not Fucking around or being dramatic. I went from at least a can a day to saying no thank you tonight (despite a ton of beers and my favorite dip time... Hanging with the boys). The thing was that I wasn't worried. I knew it would happen, and I also knew that I would keep my fucking word... To myself, to my wife, to my kids, to august '11, and to the guys (and gals) supporting my quit as religiously as I was taking it.
Post roll every day... Early. Keep your word. Stay quit no matter what gets thrown at you. It's simple, but not easy. You are on the knife edge of survival, and only the truly hardcore can last. Lean on your brothers in August '11 to help you through... They will help you stay on the most narrow of paths.
I'm here, I'm proud to be quit with you, and I'm ready to help you when you need it. Make sure you're man enough to ask for my help.
Dch
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Gum, Sunflower seeds, cinnamon toothpicks, Hooch, Smokey Mountain, Oregon Mint, Youngs..
I don't recommend Oregon Mint Snuff. It's fucking wretched. Just saying. The closest thing to skoal or grizzly for me so far is Smokey Mountain Artic Mint. Has just enough flavor with plenty of bite. You can also try prunes. They kinda serve the same spitability as chew.
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Gum, Sunflower seeds, cinnamon toothpicks, Hooch, Smokey Mountain, Oregon Mint, Youngs..
I don't recommend Oregon Mint Snuff. It's fucking wretched. Just saying. The closest thing to skoal or grizzly for me so far is Smokey Mountain Artic Mint. Has just enough flavor with plenty of bite. You can also try prunes. They kinda serve the same spitability as chew.
Stay away from the fakie. Gum, seeds, hard candy, etc.
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Gum, Sunflower seeds, cinnamon toothpicks, Hooch, Smokey Mountain, Oregon Mint, Youngs..
I don't recommend Oregon Mint Snuff. It's fucking wretched. Just saying. The closest thing to skoal or grizzly for me so far is Smokey Mountain Artic Mint. Has just enough flavor with plenty of bite. You can also try prunes. They kinda serve the same spitability as chew.
Stay away from the fakie. Gum, seeds, hard candy, etc.
Just want to say thanks to all of you who have commented on this topic and sent me support emails. I know there are lots of cops out there, trying to quit. I have to focus on me right now and stay quit, but I hope to get to a point where I can reach out to the people I work with and get them to stop also. I am going to spring this site on them during our next briefing.
Thanks again for caring and helping me stay quit. Day 9 today.
Horale!!!!
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congrats on your quit thus far. We all know its not easy! Keep up the good fight and stay safe. Enjoy your weekend! Proud to be quit with you!
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Just joined the site yesterday, but I'm 18 days onto my quit. We have alot in common (1*). Cops can be tough to convince...but you should try. I'm working on one of my brothers right now. Stay strong and let me know if you need a pep talk. I will do the same. Above all else...be safe.
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Tell as many people as you can about the site. It works and it can save their life. Just rememeber addicts are not easy to convince.
The most important quit is YOURS !! Protect that at all costs. If you can get others to quit that is great, but do not let their reluctance to quit impact you negatively.
Keep on Quitting
Greg
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Day 13 of quit today. I have had the nods, but it's getting better. Yeah me!
Thanks for the support.
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Day 13 of quit today. I have had the nods, but it's getting better. Yeah me!
Thanks for the support.
Dip some coffee man.....
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Day 17 and this popo is still quit strong.
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Day 17 and this popo is still quit strong.
Most people can't quit for one day let alone 17.
That is Huge. You are a bad ass quitter.
Keep doing what you're doing.
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Day 17 and this popo is still quit strong.
Most people can't quit for one day let alone 17.
That is Huge. You are a bad ass quitter.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Right On FunnyLatino!
You got the nic bitch on the run and an APB has been issued. You are shaping up to be a real quit badass.
Proud to be quit with ya.
BTW - you should check out the official popo thread. MOA is kinda lonely over there! index.php?showtopic=4699 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=4699)
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Today is Day 19.... 'bang head'
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Today has been one of the hardest I have had. It's day 19 and I am still quit. I will remain quit!
Emotions have filled my day. I have cried (like a little kid), ate more than I care to admit and felt uneasy about most everything today.
Tonight I made my first phone call. I called two of the brothers that have been looking out for me, sending me messages and giving me words of encouragement. I made the first call at 7:55pm and did not get off the phone until just after 9pm. To say the least, both of them raised my spirit and I feel a ton better.
I decided to log on and write a little before continuing with my night. I have come to believe the can has controlled me in many more ways than I initially imagined. After thinking about everything over that last 19 days, I have come to a few conclusions. I cannot quit on my own and I must ask for help. If I can beat chew, then there is nothing in my life I cannot change (Thanks brothers). I don't have to worry anymore.
Worrying: Someone once told me, worrying is preparing for something that hasn't happened yet. I have spent way to much time on worrying and not living.
Tomorrow is day 20. Have a good night my brothers and sisters.
FunnyLatino 'archer'
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Today has been one of the hardest I have had. It's day 19 and I am still quit. I will remain quit!
Emotions have filled my day. I have cried (like a little kid), ate more than I care to admit and felt uneasy about most everything today.
Tonight I made my first phone call. I called two of the brothers that have been looking out for me, sending me messages and giving me words of encouragement. I made the first call at 7:55pm and did not get off the phone until just after 9pm. To say the least, both of them raised my spirit and I feel a ton better.
I decided to log on and write a little before continuing with my night. I have come to believe the can has controlled me in many more ways than I initially imagined. After thinking about everything over that last 19 days, I have come to a few conclusions. I cannot quit on my own and I must ask for help. If I can beat chew, then there is nothing in my life I cannot change (Thanks brothers). I don't have to worry anymore.
Worrying: Someone once told me, worrying is preparing for something that hasn't happened yet. I have spent way to much time on worrying and not living.
Tomorrow is day 20. Have a good night my brothers and sisters.
FunnyLatino 'archer'
Nothing funny about this. Good shit brother.
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Today has been one of the hardest I have had. It's day 19 and I am still quit. I will remain quit!
Emotions have filled my day. I have cried (like a little kid), ate more than I care to admit and felt uneasy about most everything today.
Tonight I made my first phone call. I called two of the brothers that have been looking out for me, sending me messages and giving me words of encouragement. I made the first call at 7:55pm and did not get off the phone until just after 9pm. To say the least, both of them raised my spirit and I feel a ton better.
I decided to log on and write a little before continuing with my night. I have come to believe the can has controlled me in many more ways than I initially imagined. After thinking about everything over that last 19 days, I have come to a few conclusions. I cannot quit on my own and I must ask for help. If I can beat chew, then there is nothing in my life I cannot change (Thanks brothers). I don't have to worry anymore.
Worrying: Someone once told me, worrying is preparing for something that hasn't happened yet. I have spent way to much time on worrying and not living.
Tomorrow is day 20. Have a good night my brothers and sisters.
FunnyLatino 'archer'
I posted this in my introduction section awhile back....
Ready - Day 859
There is tragedy in life. That is a fact.
Dipping compounds any tragedy. That is a fact.
Life without nicotine is far better than being a slave to it. That is a fact.
There are tools on this site that if used, will keep you quit. That is a fact.
There are people on this site, that if given the opportunity, will not let you fail. That is a fact.
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Today I am at Day 28 of my quit. I have not made it alone and I just wanted to say thanks to my friends at KTC for this site. I have a long way to go, but I am strong and have a ton of support.
To anyone who may read this, I was at day one, but now it's already Day 28. I quit, I quit, I'm holding on to my quit. I quit with anyone who reads this. You are not alone and there are plenty of us ready to quit with you.
FunnyLatino
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Funny Latino, I quit with you today. 28 days is a great accomplishment, you should be very proud. Now, keep it up!
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FL... good to have you quit with me, brother. keep up the good work!
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I quit with you amigo.
Gooch901 'Remshot'
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Today is Day 43 and I cannot believe I have made it this far. There have been rough times, but I have made it this far and I remain committed to my quit.
Recently I joined a 5k run/walk, hosted by MAD for Healthy Smiles, to benefit the Oral Cancer Foundation. It's going to be fun and lots of my friends are sponsoring me, thus giving me even more reason to stay focused on my quit.
To all who read this, when you make your decision to quit, your brothers and sisters here at the KTC will be here to support you.
I quit you Skoal Mint. I am not willing to be a slave to the can.
FL
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That is awesome!
Run like the wind!
I am proud to be quit with you!
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Day 46: Had a headache the last couple of days. Kind of mild headache, but enough to cause me to notice. I remain quit and see the good that comes from being quit. I quit today with everyone at the KTC.
FL
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Today is Day 74. I am feeling a lot better than I did over a month ago. I am now working on weight reduction, given I have put on about 15 pounds since I quit. I can deal with that, given it's only temporary. I am proud of myself and more confident than ever. If I can quit the can, I can do anything.
This is still one day at a time, but I am strong in my quit.
Thanks for all that have supported me.
FL
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Proud to be Quit with you---the Train is waiting for you!
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Keep going strong FL. Day 75 now, right? 3/4 hall... keep on tacking on those +1's.
Proud to be a Quithead with you.
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Today is day 89, just one day short of 9/10 of the way to the HOF. Man, this is the best quit I have ever done. I am not going back. Every time I have a craving, a moment of thinking about a dip, I force myself to think about what I had to go through to get to today. So I say hell no dip!!! You can kiss it! I have worked to hard and long for you to control me dip. I am in control now. One day at a time.
On a side note, I've had some headaches lately, some sadness.... but, a good KTC buddie tells me it's just my brain reprogramming and rewiring itself. I tend to believe him, after all, it took 13 years for me to screw it up.
I wish everyone a good quit. I will fight the dip with all my fellow quitters. Keep on the good fight and you can do it. If I can quit, then anyone can quit.
See you in the HOF.
FL
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Today is day 94 and I have started to get much more active on the KTC. I have moved past the fog, anger (For the most part) and it's been a lot better. I don't miss the can right now and only during very high stress do I sometimes have a craving. I am 6 days from the HOF and I have no doubt I will make it and beyond. My emotional state has started to relax and I am not so anxious. I cannot tell you how paranoid I had been acting over the last several weeks.
They don't put tons of chemicals inside that crap to make you feel good. They load it with everything possible to make you feel like crap, if and when you try to quit. It's their insurance policy to keep you coming back. Not me, no more. I am not a slave to the can.
Today is day 94 and I am quit today.
If you are reading this, skip to the very first entry and read from there. Today is a good day, but know that the journey is tough. If I can quit, then it's possible for anyone. I am an addict and yet, I am quit.
FL
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FL,
That HOF day is in striking distance!
Keep up ther good quit.
whsii
Day 8
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Today is day 94 and I have started to get much more active on the KTC. I have moved past the fog, anger (For the most part) and it's been a lot better. I don't miss the can right now and only during very high stress do I sometimes have a craving. I am 6 days from the HOF and I have no doubt I will make it and beyond. My emotional state has started to relax and I am not so anxious. I cannot tell you how paranoid I had been acting over the last several weeks.
They don't put tons of chemicals inside that crap to make you feel good. They load it with everything possible to make you feel like crap, if and when you try to quit. It's their insurance policy to keep you coming back. Not me, no more. I am not a slave to the can.
Today is day 94 and I am quit today.
If you are reading this, skip to the very first entry and read from there. Today is a good day, but know that the journey is tough. If I can quit, then it's possible for anyone. I am an addict and yet, I am quit.
FL
FL-I read from the beginning. My quit is stronger because of it, thanks for sharing. Did you brief the crew on this site?
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Today is day 94 and I have started to get much more active on the KTC.
I'm glad to see this FL. This site works because of the commitment of the vets. And make no mistake, you're a vet. December is coming up soon. That's four months away from us. We're vets. We need to be active to help them.
I'm proud to be a Quithead with you.
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I have been bad about posting lately, since reaching the HOF. But, I have remained quit and I am proud to say today is 118. To those reading this, you CAN DO IT. One day at a time. Posting is what I need to do, although I have been bad. Seriously, post up. It's important. I posted today. I am quit today.
Thanks August 2011