KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: FreedomFitness on September 30, 2011, 01:43:00 PM
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Chew is my oldest addiction. I started at 14 with my sports buddies and thought it was so cool and I loved the "Buzz" that I haven't felt in years. Well, that just led me to more addictions later, including, but not limited to; porn, alcohol, pot, sex, cocaine, extasy, pain-killers, amphetamines, steroids, even work and exercise, to name a few. These are my demons.
They drain my life; my health, energy, spirituality, confidence, discipline and my money. I've learned only pain and to cheat my feelings, anxiety, stress and emotions. I've lost touch with reality, my family, my goals, my ambition, sometimes even my will to go on. I've been killing myself slowly from the inside out. I've lost the love I once had for myself and for life.
The best times in my life were when I had conquered or resisted my addictions. In a short amount of time (seven years) in complete sobriety, I managed to overcome being a High School drop-out and addict with the help of God and pulled off amazing things in that time. I learned Spanish fluently, got a black-belt in Jujitsu, cage-fought professionally, graduated from a major university, started my own businesses and dated models.
I loved my life and was confident, almost to the point of being cocky. But I balanced it out with service and helping people; I served a two year mission for my church in central Mexico, fed the homeless, built schools and churches, became an instructor, corner-man, coach and Trainer. I was so dialed in! I want that back.
In 2007, I blew out my knee sparring UFC champion Rich Franklin while in training at Militech Camp in SLC. I was devasted, I was on crutches for months, atrophied my muscle, and worst, got addicted to pain medication. When that ran out, I had my first beer in seven years. Then it was more pills, alcohol, tobacco, they all were right there waiting for me, to set in their hooks and chain me back up. Within a year, my fight career had ended, I lost my fiancee, my business, my confidence, my discipline and my hope.
I ended up unemployed, dating a stripper, drunk, depressed, unmotivated and hating life. This was the worst relapse ever, it's worse than before and I've F-ed everything up. I'm not giving up though. I've been to the darkside, I've felt Hell and I'm not going there. There is still hope. Christ has been pulling at my heart strings and wrestling with my soul. I've starting to repent, to change, to ask and give forgiveness. I'm working the twelve steps and going to meetings. I'm over the drugs and alcohol, dropped the stripper, even going back to church for support, inspiration and to find ways to get outside myself and to serve.\
Now it's time! The chew has got to go too. It's been "my pet" addiction. My little dirty secret I try to hide from everyone. It was my first and now will be my last. It's harder this time, maybe cause I didn't learn my lessons last time, but it has to be done. My gums hurt, my teeth are stained and yellow, I've lost muscle cause I don't eat enough, I stink of it, it's foul and disgusting and rude. I'm letting go of that jock, redneck tradition that is all a lie and a trick. It doesn't taste good, doesn't help you or make you feel good at all. It justifies other habits and is a bad example to others, especially kids. Chicks do not like it, dentists hate it, doctors despise it. I'm a trainer for Pete's sake! I know what effect it has on your heart and body. It's horrible and is good for nothing. But, I am an addict.
I've tried the patch, the gum, the candy, fake chew, even meds and haven't yet killed it this year. Gotta go cold I think. I'm gonna try replacement therapy, and try to replace the habit with lots of water, vitamins, healthy food and protein and more exercise. I think this blog and group will be good for some motivation, accountability, brutal honesty, advice and support. Can't do it on my own this time, need help! I wanna quit tomorrow or latest Sunday. Any advice? Sorry so long, been keeping this all to myself for way too long!!!
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SPIT IT OUT NOW!!!! WHY WAIT????
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Welcome brother. Heck of a story.
But now you have to make it all worth it. Look for the welcome center link at the top, throw away any stash you have, and start posting roll.
I can not stress how important it is to read everything on here and get active. Start asking questions, joking around, and getting in to the nitty gritty with us all. This decision to quit and your involvement in this site will only help you.
Sunflower seeds are a great substitute and if you want you can try the fake stuff. I used it but found it difficult to quit using the fake stuff too. Some people are of the mindset that no matter how much or how long you use the fake stuff it will always be better than dip.
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First, this page is for people who are nic free. So spit that shit out now or come back when you're serious about quitting. The world is full of people who are "about to do something"...this site is for people who have done it.
Pills, patches, gum, "replacement therapy" whatever that is are for losers. You already know how to quit. Spit it out...done! Then give your word by posting roll that come hell or highwater, you will not put any nicotine in your body today. You don't know what might happen tomorrow, next week, next year...so don't think about them. We'll worry about them when they get here. You just need to give your word for today...and fight like hell to keep your word. Then, wake up tomorrow and do it all again.
Look, it isn't easy. You have a choice. You can quit today. Or you can go on killing yourself. If you take the first step, we're here to help you the rest of the way. But we have no interest in "trying to do something" and/or "hoping." This site is for people who take this shit seriously. Get with the program or get lost.
But remember, YOU can do this. YOU are not alone. If YOU take the first step, we've all got your back.
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Freedom,
My favorite movies are redemption movies. You have a great story to be told. Me thinks that is why you are here. You are meant to be here. You have something to teach us all. First though, you have to spit out the shit in your mouth and quit. Quit with me today. Freedom is created here 1 day at a time.
Read this: index.php?showtopic=120 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=120)
Go here and post. index.php?showtopic=5270 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5270)
You will receive all of the help you need to quit here. Post up and then let us know what we can do. Also, read, read, read.
I am glad you are here.
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Its easy to say you will do it tomorrow.. Tomorrow never gets here.. QUIT now!! Trust me brother there is no better time than now. I have lived your story, i think most of us on here have. Now is the time to step up and quit!!!!!
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Freedom,
My favorite movies are redemption movies. You have a great story to be told. Me thinks that is why you are here. You are meant to be here. You have something to teach us all. First though, you have to spit out the shit in your mouth and quit. Quit with me today. Freedom is created here 1 day at a time.
Read this: index.php?showtopic=120 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=120)
Go here and post. index.php?showtopic=5270 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5270)
You will receive all of the help you need to quit here. Post up and then let us know what we can do. Also, read, read, read.
I am glad you are here.
Oh, I should add this. I am confident you are familiar with addict talk based on your story. The quit Sunday crap was the most snowflake, special butterfly addict talk I have heard in a while. You and I know this, we are both addicts.
You can't bull shit this crowd. Maybe some non addict folks but not this crowd. Spit the shit out and quit. Today. Now. You can do this.
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Come on freedom spit the shit out and post roll!! We are here for you!!
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Welcome to accountability, brother. Sounds like you've lived quit a life, but you really haven't lived with FREEDOM from the can.
Give your word in roll. Do not let us down.
Your job today and just for today is to not have any nicotine enter your system. Fuck tomorrow.
All that matters is today.
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Welcome, brother. Take all that greatness that is obviously inside you and use it to quit for today only. Then you will get up again tomorrow.
Come with us, quit with us.
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Quit now! You know it is the only way to beat this. I will be here for you. Ask any questions you need. Bitch me out if you need. But whatever you do, never put another dip in you mouth or drink to your lips.
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Great advice already! Thanks guys! You're right! Why wait til tomorrow? I'll just be that much more addicted then. Over it! Just went into the field behind my house and blasted my last can with the Judge, my .45 Long pistol, which holds .410 buckshot too! It was symbolic to me, Kill the Can, before the can kills me. I'm done!
It's only been hours, but I'm excited and feel ready this time. 10/01/2011. This is my day I'll never forget and I'm looking forward to January 8, 2012, my 100 day mark. I know the road ahead won't be easy, but just like when I'd book a fight, it was always hard as hell, but worth it when I took home a win. Beating the shit outta this demon this time, once and for all!
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Great advice already! Thanks guys! You're right! Why wait til tomorrow? I'll just be that much more addicted then. Over it! Just went into the field behind my house and blasted my last can with the Judge, my .45 Long pistol, which holds .410 buckshot too! It was symbolic to me, Kill the Can, before the can kills me. I'm done!
It's only been hours, but I'm excited and feel ready this time. 10/01/2011. This is my day I'll never forget and I'm looking forward to January 8, 2012, my 100 day mark. I know the road ahead won't be easy, but just like when I'd book a fight, it was always hard as hell, but worth it when I took home a win. Beating the shit outta this demon this time, once and for all!
:)
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I signed up and found this site yesterday, seemed cool and good for advice/ moral support, something I never had when previously trying to quit, maybe this is the missing link... I was going to quit Sunday, thank you all of you that told me to man up and do it now! Done! Truly, I know that this time it is for my resolve, my reason. Before, I wanted to quit cause of what others might think, for girls, expectations, stupid reasons. This time, I'm doing it for me.
After beginning to face and conquer all of my addictions, my confidence is returning, I'm gaining back love for life, myself and in return more for others in my life. You can't love you if you chew! It's self-destructive, degrading, disgusting and wrong. It's slow suicide. I didn't seem to care when I was younger, but now, I wanna buy some time! There is so much good still in this world; so much to acheive, to conquer and to experience. I need all the time I can get.
I'm expecting a fight, but I never back down from a good fight, and I only like winning. Not going to tap-out to this bitch again. No pussy-footing with gum or that shit, just going cold turkey. F-it! I'm not a tobacco user anymore. I am free. Today is my day. October 1, 2011. January 8th, 100 days. See you there and everyday until then! I am in, I'm at war with this demon and I am going to win. Thanks for the inpiration and support out there. This ain't gonna be easy, but I got this. Four hours and counting. Usually had one every hour. That's a start, just the beginning...
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Way to go brother. Today is indeed the first day of the rest of your life. Rough days ahead, but you know this already. You have posted roll in January so you are doing this right. Use the us as your sounding board and do not be afraid to reach out. Stay strong! Glad to be quit with you.
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Freedom is worth the fight
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YOu sound like a bad ass quitter already! Keep that attitude up and you'll be free! Proud to be quit with you!
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I signed up and found this site yesterday, seemed cool and good for advice/ moral support, something I never had when previously trying to quit, maybe this is the missing link... I was going to quit Sunday, thank you all of you that told me to man up and do it now! Done! Truly, I know that this time it is for my resolve, my reason. Before, I wanted to quit cause of what others might think, for girls, expectations, stupid reasons. This time, I'm doing it for me.
After beginning to face and conquer all of my addictions, my confidence is returning, I'm gaining back love for life, myself and in return more for others in my life. You can't love you if you chew! It's self-destructive, degrading, disgusting and wrong. It's slow suicide. I didn't seem to care when I was younger, but now, I wanna buy some time! There is so much good still in this world; so much to acheive, to conquer and to experience. I need all the time I can get.
I'm expecting a fight, but I never back down from a good fight, and I only like winning. Not going to tap-out to this bitch again. No pussy-footing with gum or that shit, just going cold turkey. F-it! I'm not a tobacco user anymore. I am free. Today is my day. October 1, 2011. January 8th, 100 days. See you there and everyday until then! I am in, I'm at war with this demon and I am going to win. Thanks for the inpiration and support out there. This ain't gonna be easy, but I got this. Four hours and counting. Usually had one every hour. That's a start, just the beginning...
Today is my day. October 1, 2011. January 8th, 100 days. See you there and everyday until then!
Just remember 1 day at a time. Hell for the first few days it might be 1 hr at a time. When the bitch hits she hits hard. Take a breath. Remember it will not last. Have fun with it. Im in it with ya..
Jim
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Great advice already! Thanks guys! You're right! Why wait til tomorrow? I'll just be that much more addicted then. Over it! Just went into the field behind my house and blasted my last can with the Judge, my .45 Long pistol, which holds .410 buckshot too! It was symbolic to me, Kill the Can, before the can kills me. I'm done!
It's only been hours, but I'm excited and feel ready this time. 10/01/2011. This is my day I'll never forget and I'm looking forward to January 8, 2012, my 100 day mark. I know the road ahead won't be easy, but just like when I'd book a fight, it was always hard as hell, but worth it when I took home a win. Beating the shit outta this demon this time, once and for all!
Welcome to the madhouse, FF. I like the idea of blowing up your last can...I'd do something like that but the neighbors might have a problem with that. B) So, I took all the old lids I could find and nailed them to my back fence and use them for BB gun practice with the kids. Fun times...
Anyway, it's nice to know when your 100 day mark will be, but that's all it is...just a number. I realized that four days ago when I hit it. The most important number you can remember is 1. That's how your quit should roll...+1. Take everything 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time, 1 minute at a time if you have to. Just get that +1 and you'll do just fine.
Glad to be quit with you today! 'archer'