KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: JJohnson on December 30, 2014, 12:24:00 PM
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I'm now 40 years old with 2 small kids at home and have been addicted to chew for 22 years. It started off as a casual treat with friends, but once I bought my first tin, I was hooked. Through the years it spiraled into an intense addiction that definitely controlled my life. I can remember early on that maybe a tin a week would be fine, no big deal. For the last 10 years, I have been a tin-checker, borderline on an obsessive compulsive disorder. "OK, I have a half tin and it's 5PM, I won't make it, I need to pick up a tin before I go home". Does that sound familiar? Becoming a slave to this beast was not immediate, but unfortunately inevitable, for me at least. The days of going to gas stations at 11PM for a tin, or buying 2 at a time are hopefully over. There was this time that my wife tried an experiment on me. She hid my tin...nice. I was doing my normal pocket check before leaving the house; wallet, phone, keys, chew...chew? As I'm trying not to panic, I'm backtracking the last 8 hours in my mind, did I leave it in the bathroom, is it in my bed, the garage, garbage can, did I finish it. My wife was watching me slowly starting to boil. She asks what's wrong. I can't find something. What? It's got to be around here somewhere. What are you looking for? My f*^ing tin, where the f*$ is it, God damn it....And you see where that went. Sound like a familiar shameful chew story. So sad to turn into this person.
Over the last 22 years, I have quit about 6 times a year at least. Ranging from 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 day or 2 hours etc. I've tried everything; zyban, welbutrin, nicotine patches, fake chew etc. I went back to the doctor in October of this year and asked for help. She gave me Chantix, yeah I know. Screw it, I'll try it. I took it for about 3 weeks prior to the final dip. I hated Chantix the entire time I was on it. I constantly felt nauseous, whether food in my stomach or not. I also coupled the Chantix with a big patch on 1 arm in the morning and 1 at night. Yes, 2 per day, I know it's sad. I kicked the Chantix after about 3 months and still on 2 patches a day. Eventually I will ween myself from the patches. Nonetheless, I have quit for the longest stretch in 22 years, I've gone 80 days.
I don't know why I'm sharing this stuff on a post, but for some reason I feel I need to. This drug has been my buddy through my 20's and 30's and sadly quitting is the toughest thing I've done in my life. That alone is so f$%ed up. What a bitch I am. Now, the thing I'm realizing, is that now I have these weird feelings about life and life situations. When I was happy, I would chew. When I was sad, I used to chew. Now what do I do, I have to fill the gap with something.
Sorry for the rant, but at the very minimum, I hope somehow this post will reinforce to all how strong a drug we are dealing with. Keep up the good fight and do your part to save a life and help someone else quit. Peace to all over the Holidays.
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I know you just poured your heart out and we all will recognize your desire to be free...
But...
I'm gonna be a dick here. If you're still nursing 2 patches a day... You're not quit.
Not even close.
You're still feeding your addiction.
You do realize that, right?
We do it cold turkey here. It's the only way to truly be free. It WILL be hell for a li'l while. Thats the way it's gonna be. The pay off though?... Oh, man. Freedom like you never thought possible.
Do you want that? Rip off that patch and turn your back on any kind of NRT.
Join us.
You can do this.
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I know you just poured your heart out and we all will recognize your desire to be free...
But...
I'm gonna be a dick here. If you're still nursing 2 patches a day... You're not quit.
Not even close.
You're still feeding your addiction.
You do realize that, right?
We do it cold turkey here. It's the only way to truly be free. It WILL be hell for a li'l while. Thats the way it's gonna be. The pay off though?... Oh, man. Freedom like you never thought possible.
Do you want that? Rip off that patch and turn your back on any kind of NRT.
Join us.
You can do this.
What this guy said. ^^^^^
Patches are not Quit. You're still ingesting nicotine. You've just changed delivery methods. Wouldn't be any different if you picked up smoking and said, "I Quit dipping".
Cold Fucking Turkey. Period.
Eventually, if you want to be free of nicotine, you have to go Cold Turkey. You can ween all you like, but at some point you have to get to zero. Zero is when it sucks. Don't prolong the enevitable. Do it now.
I took Chantix too, and it sucked. I gave it up after a month, but I was 31 days into my quit when I did. Make today your Day 1.
You can do it. We're proof.
-Nolaq - Day 1,751
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Well JJ, 80 days without dipping is a good foundation for your nicotine quit. Take off that patch, shit on it, then reach down and grab hold, and post your day 1 free from all forms of nicotine here (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/10847546/52/#new).
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JJ, I came into this site wearing a patch and professing I would ween off of it. I used religion as a crutch to be "quit" for 47 days, and then "hopefully" after Lent was over. What I was told here was that I was doing a "planned quit", and that patches and quitting for any other reason then just plain old quitting would fail. I politely told the KTC to drop dead and wore my patch.
30 days later, after cutting patches into quarters I decided to see if these guys knew what they were talking about, because making origami from nicotine patches was stupid. And they were right, the week I tore the patch off was HELL. The rest of the month was no fun either. And now here I am 9 months later, an extra $1800.00 in my pocket, a happy wife, and freedom from nicotine. Yes, I still have a bad day, but I know I have 20 quitters numbers in my phone that I can text or call that will get my head straight again.
PM me for my number if you want to talk. This isn't easy, and wearing patches isn't being quit. You asked folks to step up and save your life........well, here we are. Rip off the patch, post roll, and make 2015 the first year of freedom for yourself.
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Ah yes, the eventually I will...............dip less.........buy a cheaper brand.......buy a shittier brand........recycle dips.............on dip on tuesdays...........only dip on days I'm sick........only dip on the summer solstice....................you get it. Eventually will always not equal quit until you make the mindset that you CAN quit and don't need weening, patches, vapes, whatever it is that has your balls in a vice.
Its damn offensive to come in here, tell us your sob story only to find out that you're not one of us, but wish to be. I wish I was a damn NFL linebacker but guess what Suzie, I'm not. You won't be quit until you burn those patches and get back here and post a day 1. Until then, don't come back.
Edit: and change your quit date, because its false advertising!
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Thanks all for the reality check. I will give up the fucking patch and follow up with a new post.
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Thanks all for the reality check. I will give up the fucking patch and follow up with a new post.
Atta boy!
Strap in. Now it gets fun!
Stick to this intro... You only get one. Use this to log what's going on and to look back on. This is your quit journey... Own it.
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Thanks all for the reality check. I will give up the fucking patch and follow up with a new post.
Atta boy!
Strap in. Now it gets fun!
Stick to this intro... You only get one. Use this to log what's going on and to look back on. This is your quit journey... Own it.
Yes JJ, throw that patch away. Get some numbers from fellow quitters, drink a ton of water, and use these boards and the LIVE CHAT feature.
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Alright, patch off, here I go.
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Thanks all for the reality check. I will give up the fucking patch and follow up with a new post.
Atta boy!
Strap in. Now it gets fun!
Stick to this intro... You only get one. Use this to log what's going on and to look back on. This is your quit journey... Own it.
Yes JJ, throw that patch away. Get some numbers from fellow quitters, drink a ton of water, and use these boards and the LIVE CHAT feature.
Get that roll posted. Join us! Congrats!
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Alright, patch off, here I go.
Fuck.
Yes!
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Quit like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11e8XyUBqRQ)
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Alright, patch off, here I go.
Fuck.
Yes!
Congrats, JJ. Get involved in the April '15 group.
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Hi there. I was in the same situation you were at the 22 year mark as well. I had a patch on, went into the chat room here for support and found out I wasn't quit. We think we are doing a good thing by slowly decreasing our intake of nicotine, and telling ourselves "at least I'm not actually dipping".
Shoot. I took the shit for about an hour. Ripped that patch off, joined KTC and have been quit for 367 days. It is going to suck bro. No lie. It is tough, but we are all here to say you can do it. We will quit with you. We can't quit for you, but if you keep your promise every single day on Roll, you will have thousands of supporters, all addicts just like you, standing and fighting with you.
Make this about you. Nothing should be more important than your quit. Start taking nicotine off the table.....it isn't even an option anymore.
YOU GOT THIS.
I will be here quitting like a girl if you need anything. Welcome PM is on the way.
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January 5, 2015
Dear Nicotine,
Please let this letter serve as my official resignation letter. I have recently been blessed with the fortitude (along with a push from some friends) to leave you
7 days ago. However, a monumental challenge to do so, I have since decided that after my 22 year tenure with you, I will never return to you again.
In hindsight, I wanted to reflect on our relationship together and thank you for some great times:
1. That time my girlfriend (now wife) drank from a coke can spit cup was very memorable, especially for her.
2. Knowing that I have spent upwards near $30,000 on you and in return you've given me nothing but kidney stones, white spots in my mouth, hypertension and a sore jaw shows how great you are.
3. That time when my wife was giving birth to our first child and we decided to sneak outside for a little break when all of a sudden our wife needed us for an emergency and they couldn't find us, that was awesome.
4. The best was when my mom was on her death bed, dying of cancer and she asked me to quit you and I promised I would. But shortly after her death I started again due to stress. That's was an epic example of your integrity.
Moving forward please do not email me, facebook me, call me, text me, talk to me or even look at me. If you try to contact my family or friends I will kill you on the spot
and stuff you in the garbage can like the piece of trash you are. If you need to contact me and it is an emergency please come to killthecan.org and the welcome staff will make
sure you are dealt with properly.
Thanks again for all the years of service and the heartache you brought upon to me and my family and friends. I hope that in the future you can kindly fuck off and die.
Sincerely,
JJohnson (officially stronger than you)
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January 5, 2015
Dear Nicotine,
Please let this letter serve as my official resignation letter. I have recently been blessed with the fortitude (along with a push from some friends) to leave you
7 days ago. However, a monumental challenge to do so, I have since decided that after my 22 year tenure with you, I will never return to you again.
In hindsight, I wanted to reflect on our relationship together and thank you for some great times:
1. That time my girlfriend (now wife) drank from a coke can spit cup was very memorable, especially for her.
2. Knowing that I have spent upwards near $30,000 on you and in return you've given me nothing but kidney stones, white spots in my mouth, hypertension and a sore jaw shows how great you are.
3. That time when my wife was giving birth to our first child and we decided to sneak outside for a little break when all of a sudden our wife needed us for an emergency and they couldn't find us, that was awesome.
4. The best was when my mom was on her death bed, dying of cancer and she asked me to quit you and I promised I would. But shortly after her death I started again due to stress. That's was an epic example of your integrity.
Moving forward please do not email me, facebook me, call me, text me, talk to me or even look at me. If you try to contact my family or friends I will kill you on the spot
and stuff you in the garbage can like the piece of trash you are. If you need to contact me and it is an emergency please come to killthecan.org and the welcome staff will make
sure you are dealt with properly.
Thanks again for all the years of service and the heartache you brought upon to me and my family and friends. I hope that in the future you can kindly fuck off and die.
Sincerely,
JJohnson (officially stronger than you)
Awesome. Thanks for posting JJ, good boost for today.
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January 5, 2015
Dear Nicotine,
Please let this letter serve as my official resignation letter. I have recently been blessed with the fortitude (along with a push from some friends) to leave you
7 days ago. However, a monumental challenge to do so, I have since decided that after my 22 year tenure with you, I will never return to you again.
In hindsight, I wanted to reflect on our relationship together and thank you for some great times:
1. That time my girlfriend (now wife) drank from a coke can spit cup was very memorable, especially for her.
2. Knowing that I have spent upwards near $30,000 on you and in return you've given me nothing but kidney stones, white spots in my mouth, hypertension and a sore jaw shows how great you are.
3. That time when my wife was giving birth to our first child and we decided to sneak outside for a little break when all of a sudden our wife needed us for an emergency and they couldn't find us, that was awesome.
4. The best was when my mom was on her death bed, dying of cancer and she asked me to quit you and I promised I would. But shortly after her death I started again due to stress. That's was an epic example of your integrity.
Moving forward please do not email me, facebook me, call me, text me, talk to me or even look at me. If you try to contact my family or friends I will kill you on the spot
and stuff you in the garbage can like the piece of trash you are. If you need to contact me and it is an emergency please come to killthecan.org and the welcome staff will make
sure you are dealt with properly.
Thanks again for all the years of service and the heartache you brought upon to me and my family and friends. I hope that in the future you can kindly fuck off and die.
Sincerely,
JJohnson (officially stronger than you)
Strong work sir! Are you making roll call yet?
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January 5, 2015
Dear Nicotine,
Please let this letter serve as my official resignation letter. I have recently been blessed with the fortitude (along with a push from some friends) to leave you
7 days ago. However, a monumental challenge to do so, I have since decided that after my 22 year tenure with you, I will never return to you again.
In hindsight, I wanted to reflect on our relationship together and thank you for some great times:
1. That time my girlfriend (now wife) drank from a coke can spit cup was very memorable, especially for her.
2. Knowing that I have spent upwards near $30,000 on you and in return you've given me nothing but kidney stones, white spots in my mouth, hypertension and a sore jaw shows how great you are.
3. That time when my wife was giving birth to our first child and we decided to sneak outside for a little break when all of a sudden our wife needed us for an emergency and they couldn't find us, that was awesome.
4. The best was when my mom was on her death bed, dying of cancer and she asked me to quit you and I promised I would. But shortly after her death I started again due to stress. That's was an epic example of your integrity.
Moving forward please do not email me, facebook me, call me, text me, talk to me or even look at me. If you try to contact my family or friends I will kill you on the spot
and stuff you in the garbage can like the piece of trash you are. If you need to contact me and it is an emergency please come to killthecan.org and the welcome staff will make
sure you are dealt with properly.
Thanks again for all the years of service and the heartache you brought upon to me and my family and friends. I hope that in the future you can kindly fuck off and die.
Sincerely,
JJohnson (officially stronger than you)
Atta boy JJ!
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Awesome!
You got this brother!!
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that's great, man. I came to about the same estimate ($30k) you did. I was thinking last night too about how I romanticize our relationship in my mind like dip was my first girlfriend and we had so much fun together and we had the world by the tail - just a couple of crazy kids in love. In reality she wanted me broke and dead. what a dumbass I am.
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that's great, man. I came to about the same estimate ($30k) you did. I was thinking last night too about how I romanticize our relationship in my mind like dip was my first girlfriend and we had so much fun together and we had the world by the tail - just a couple of crazy kids in love. In reality she wanted me broke and dead. what a dumbass I am.
It's so crazy that our brains work this way. It's winter here in Chicago and cold as hell and I find myself going through all these scenarios in my head. "Nothing like a dip in the cold, shit I can't." "How am I gonna golf without my buddy Skoal, crap" "Roadtrip!!!, shit roadtrips are gonna suck if I can't chew".
But then I force myself to think of all the negatives; cancer, death, widowed wife, kids without a dad, just another dumbass statistic etc.
Good luck LA Kevin and I got your back, let's do this and do it right. Happy Quitting.
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Thanks again (NB) for all the years of service and the heartache you brought upon to me and my family and friends. I hope that in the future you can kindly fuck off and die.
Sincerely,
JJohnson (officially stronger than you)
That is epic... Happy HOF man!