KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: BBQchips on November 01, 2018, 12:22:59 PM
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Finally getting around to transferring over some of the stuff from the old forum. Want to document and remember to look back at the earlier days of quit (Crazy how little I could form sentences and thoughts through the fog);
12:08 PM - Jun 29, 2018 #1
Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
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10:38 PM - Jul 06, 2018 #6
To Dejvis, my fellow Rawskters, vets and anyone else thinking of caving,
i am trying to get to day 10( double digits!). Friday night is rough right now. Been watching UFC fights and for years that meant hours of riding the nic bitch to the wee hours. I need to prove to myself that I still like things like this without nicotine because that can't be the reason I liked doing pretty much everything ( because I always had a fat lip). So I’m chugging water, eating Laffy taffy candy like a little kid, chewing double bubble, seeds, tea Za pouches, pretty much everything but the couch cushions to keep me away from the gas station.
I see that people have caved, and I’m sure there’s more than a few of us in here who are worried about the exact thing happening to them. I want a dip real f'ing bad, but for the first time in a very long time, I want to be quit more than that lipper.
I got a group text from Cap and a bunch of my fellow Rawksters tonight and that reinforced everything I've been gutting it out for tonight. Dev, and anyone else who needs it; I quit with you if you are truly in it. I want to see you all here tomorrow for Roll.
ODAAmotherF'inT.
BBQchips
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9:30 PM - Jul 08, 2018 #7
Day 11:
Weekends are definitely tougher than weekdays with work getting in the way. Was moody as hell and feel bad I snapped a few times on family. Luckily they understand and cut slack and my fellow quitters and I exchanged some texts and a few jokes.
I always thought after 7 days nic free things like mood swings would be gone, but realize I need to be ready for anything.
ODAAT. To any newer quitters in the early days, post roll first thing every morning. Make that your new habit. The thought of caving after I've posted my word and texted with my fellow quitters disgusts me. Makes it that much less likely I cave and as we all know, a promise is a promise and you just need to make one day and start again. So set reminders, get in a new habit. I have a daily reminder that goes off at 7 am every morning on my phone to post roll. Do whatever it takes, but make sure you make that promise.
It's been a wild ride, but I'm further and better off than I thought I could be. Big part of that is this site and the people here who are always a text or post away.
Stay quit and walk on everybody. Happy I made it thru the weekend and get to post roll with streak in tact tomorrow.
P.S. Oh and I got through one of the (countless) things I used to think "needed" a lip in to enjoy. Ordered a Paperview UFC fight on Saturday night. That used to mean 3hours of constant nicotine and watching fights. Can happily say I enjoyed he fights just as much nic free, maybe more because I didn't need to worry about spitters and ninja dips. One less thing to check off the list from my nicotine zombie life.
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10:02 PM - Jul 10, 2018 #8
Almost made it to two weeks. Dragging ass with fog and fatigue like crazy. I had hoped that by two weeks these kinds of physical dick kicks would subside.
Texted a few quitters and found I'm not alone with those helps.
Better to stay quit and deal with a lil fatigue and fog than cave. Lookin forward to making two weeks official tomorrow morning.
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10:24 PM - Jul 12, 2018 #11
Posted to My fellow Rawktober quit group, but wanted to pin to my Intro so I never forget how I felt after reading Todd's story:
Just got done reading Trauma’s (Todd Garcia’s) entire “Day 3” Intro thread that is pinned to the Intro forum. If any of my fellow Rawktober brothers ( or anyone else reading) needs some reassurance of why you can’t afford to slip up for even one second, it is a must read. Like SeanFiske and a lot of other people here that are still in the early stages of quit, I’m getting waves of feeling great and then waves of suck.
After 2 weeks of posting roll, taking digits, group texts, soon to be meetup, and now reading stories like Todd’s, I know I’m good to continue to make that pledge. I don’t care how bad this sucks right now. I never want my wife, kids, and family to go thru what Todd’s family did. And I hope none of you here have to either for that matter.
Thanks to Todd (wish I could have met him) and thanks to all the vets here who are helping us in the October group learn the ropes of his brotherhood and getting us through the suck.
Quit on brothers. ODAAT. Today is good.
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12:28 PM - Aug 13, 2018 #17
Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know I’m in for more but don’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found they’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
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6:12 PM - Aug 28, 2018 #24
Update on the 62 day mark (close to 9 weeks quit);
I can honestly say I would not have imagined the roller coaster of the last few weeks. I had envisioned that after the Half-HOF the physical stuff was done and I would be more steady at this point. Vets had warned us of the 60 day retreat, but it still took me by surprise. Ton's of ups and downs emotionally where I felt on top of the world, best BAQ ever and will never think about Copenhagen ever again. Then the next hour I was getting craves again! Fog has also set in again from time to time but I have a much better equipped tool kit now than I did when I initially joined KTC. WUPP, drinking water, exercise (although I need to lose weight after all the candy consumption), texting with Rawktober and vets, SSOA tracking and being on the forum all get me thru and I know ODAAT. Ready for the next wave but they have been getting better slowly but surely.
Crazy journey. Just wanted to make sure I documented the post Half-HOF doldrums. I never want to go thru this again.
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7:58 PM - Sep 10, 2018 #27
Day 75;
Three quarters of the way until the HOF and felt it was a time to journal an update. It’s been far more up and down than I ever thought it would be post the 50 day mark. Mood swings are still prevalent but I’ve gotten better at recognizing them earlier and correcting myself than I did early in the quit. I’m thankful for my wife being understanding and having patience. I’m really glad I decided to make her a part of this quit along with my KTC partners as she strengthens this for me, along with my kids. No more living the ninja life. Going to try to practice more with meditation and mindfulness to further improve on keeping the swings in check and also to help curb craves.
Fog is still very much a problem and can’t wait for this nonsense to go away. Still hard to concentrate at work and energy ebbs and flows. I know I need to improve my diet and exercise more but right now I’m just clawing my way to try to get to 100 days and a more secure place in my quit before I do something crazy like cutting sugar or carbs or god forbid coffee. Shows me I have an addictive personality in more than just nicotine that thanks to KTC I now am more aware of and can try to curb.
Tried Smokey mountain as well since I just spent a week in the mountains with my brother and dad who both dip. It did the trick nicely and would definitely lean on it again if the craves strike.
Here’s to hoping the next 25 days pass quickly and are more calm. ODAAT and just all the more reason to never cave again. Hate nicotine and hate this roller coaster.
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Day 127
Our Rawktober group has exited the "Pre-HOF" label and welcomed all the BAQ's into the train car. At this point some of the more noticeable hurdles of the early quit have left (night sweats, crazy irritability, and terrible fog), but others still linger. The big difference now is that they are fewer and farther in between and as a group we've passed the FIRST milestone of the HOF and added multiple tools to the arsenal.
Here's to reaching 200 days (& beyond) with Rawktober and KTC.
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Day 127
Our Rawktober group has exited the "Pre-HOF" label and welcomed all the BAQ's into the train car. At this point some of the more noticeable hurdles of the early quit have left (night sweats, crazy irritability, and terrible fog), but others still linger. The big difference now is that they are fewer and farther in between and as a group we've passed the FIRST milestone of the HOF and added multiple tools to the arsenal.
Here's to reaching 200 days (& beyond) with Rawktober and KTC.
Great update brother. The road right after HOF can be bumpy... but there are some really good days ahead. Keep doing what you are doing ODAAT and you are on the road to greatness!
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Day 127
Our Rawktober group has exited the "Pre-HOF" label and welcomed all the BAQ's into the train car. At this point some of the more noticeable hurdles of the early quit have left (night sweats, crazy irritability, and terrible fog), but others still linger. The big difference now is that they are fewer and farther in between and as a group we've passed the FIRST milestone of the HOF and added multiple tools to the arsenal.
Here's to reaching 200 days (& beyond) with Rawktober and KTC.
Proud to be quit with you!
Always in waves but the water is just much more calm now.
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11/26/2018 - Day 152
Half way to the second floor and wanted to document the quit journey;
Like many vets have promised, things are slowly getting better post HOF and the struggles are not as pronounced and come much less frequently! The whispers from the nic are still there however and as I had a great reminder that we are never truly free from them. I was driving to my in-laws on Thanksgiving and stopped into a convenience store for coffee and lotto, and of course the wall of death was staring at me. There was an intense moment of whispers telling me to add that Copenhagen Wintergreen to the order. It told me its a holiday and the car ride is rough with the kids crying, "you've earned one and then we'll throw the tin out". Ridiculous lies! I shook it and thought of how much of a crawl it's been to get here one day at a time and all the people I promised that morning. Still those whispers are there and a good reason to be mindful.
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Way to stay strong Matt. Nic will continue trying to erase the progress we have made in our quits, but her power weakens by the day.
Proud to quit with you my rawktober brother, and looking forward to that 2nd level as well!
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The post Fog "Fog";
I realized this morning that I have not made an entry into this thread in quite some time. Upon some introspection, I partially attribute this to "Fog". Nothing like the fog that haunted me like a Satanic Demon through the first 100 days, but fog none the less.
At 243 days quit, I'm into some very uncharted "quit waters" at this point. When I was struggling through those first 100 days I honestly could not envision 243, but if I tried it was always with the vision that these kinds of struggles would be fully in the rear view. As we all know too well here, this is unfortunately the price we all need to pay. And not something we pay and then move on from. This is a debt that must ALWAYS be paid! We abused ourselves for decades with a poison that is at the top of the lists of nefarious substances and used as the ultimate crutch. It should be fully expected and embraced that we are never truly rid of it, although some of the struggles start to lessen.
Again, I wanted to document this part of my quit journey for myself to look back on, but also hopefully help others who may think they are ok to leave KTC after 100 or 200 or beyond in day count. The fight is never over but it is winnable.
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Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
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Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
I dipped Cope for 21 years. Day three here. If you have to, get some herbal snuff. Hooch is a good one to start with. I almost caved today, I was filling up my gas tank and thought about walking in and getting a can. I didn't but I wanted to. I have got to find a new gas station.
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Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
I dipped Cope for 21 years. Day three here. If you have to, get some herbal snuff. Hooch is a good one to start with. I almost caved today, I was filling up my gas tank and thought about walking in and getting a can. I didn't but I wanted to. I have got to find a new gas station.
You donÂ’t need a new gas station, every gas station has nicotine. You need to walk your ass in there and stare that nic down and say not today I posted my promise. Learn to hate the shit, after all you was itÂ’s bitch! Make it your bitch. This is your quit own it because you are no longer owned by the nic bitch.
BBQ if you looking for a place thatÂ’s gonna give you all the support you need post roll and let the process begin! IÂ’ll quit with you today
Pab 1284
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Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
BBQCHIPS IÂ’m with you brother! Been dipping Copenhagen wintergreen for about 8 years, been trying to quit on and off for the last year. Finally decided to suck it up and join this site...QUIT FOR GOOD. IÂ’m already encouraged by the few posts of support that IÂ’ve received this afternoon. LetÂ’s do it man.
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Been a Copenhagen slave for over 18 years, have been "lurking" on KTC for years, but have finally made the decision that this is it!
No more crutches of nicotine replacement, just straight turkey this time. Thanks to all the vets I've been reading that show this can be done, but also that it's going to suck and being real.
Let the pain begin!
BBQCHIPS IÂ’m with you brother! Been dipping Copenhagen wintergreen for about 8 years, been trying to quit on and off for the last year. Finally decided to suck it up and join this site...QUIT FOR GOOD. IÂ’m already encouraged by the few posts of support that IÂ’ve received this afternoon. LetÂ’s do it man.
EW. Thanks and welcome to the club. Same. I was Copenhagen wintergreens bitch.
This site is great because everyone relates. Let me know if you need any help. I messaged you my cell if u feel like caving or just to bitch.
Say goodbye to Cope and look forward to not being a zombie for something that is eating you away.
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To Dejvis, my fellow Rawskters, vets and anyone else thinking of caving,
i am trying to get to day 10( double digits!). Friday night is rough right now. Been watching UFC fights and for years that meant hours of riding the nic bitch to the wee hours. I need to prove to myself that I still like things like this without nicotine because that canÂ’t be the reason I liked doing pretty much everything ( because I always had a fat lip). So IÂ’m chugging water, eating Laffy taffy candy like a little kid, chewing double bubble, seeds, tea Za pouches, pretty much everything but the couch cushions to keep me away from the gas station.
I see that people have caved, and IÂ’m sure thereÂ’s more than a few of us in here who are worried about the exact thing happening to them. I want a dip real fÂ’ing bad, but for the first time in a very long time, I want to be quit more than that lipper.
I got a group text from Cap and a bunch of my fellow Rawksters tonight and that reinforced everything IÂ’ve been gutting it out for tonight. Dev, and anyone else who needs it; I quit with you if you are truly in it. I want to see you all here tomorrow for Roll.
ODAAmotherFÂ’inT.
BBQchips
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Day 11:
Weekends are definitely tougher than weekdays with work getting in the way. Was moody as hell and feel bad I snapped a few times on family. Luckily they understand and cut slack and my fellow quitters and I exchanged some texts and a few jokes.
I always thought after 7 days nic free things like mood swings would be gone, but realize I need to be ready for anything.
ODAAT. To any newer quitters in the early days, post roll first thing every morning. Make that your new habit. The thought of caving after IÂ’ve posted my word and texted with my fellow quitters disgusts me. Makes it that much less likely I cave and as we all know, a promise is a promise and you just need to make one day and start again. So set reminders, get in a new habit. I have a daily reminder that goes off at 7 am every morning on my phone to post roll. Do whatever it takes, but make sure you make that promise.
ItÂ’s been a wild ride, but IÂ’m further and better off than I thought I could be. Big part of that is this site and the people here who are always a text or post away.
Stay quit and walk on everybody. Happy I made it thru the weekend and get to post roll with streak in tact tomorrow.
P.S. Oh and I got through one of the (countless) things I used to think “needed”a lip in to enjoy. Ordered a Paperview UFC fight on Saturday night. That used to mean 3hours of constant nicotine and watching fights. Can happily say I enjoyed he fights just as much nic free, maybe more because I didn’t need to worry about spitters and ninja dips. One less thing to check off the list from my nicotine zombie life.
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Almost made it to two weeks. Dragging ass with fog and fatigue like crazy. I had hoped that by two weeks these kinds of physical dick kicks would subside.
Texted a few quitters and found IÂ’m not alone with those helps.
Better to stay quit and deal with a lil fatigue and fog than cave. Lookin forward to making two weeks official tomorrow morning.
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Great intro you have going here. Made me reminisce about the days of learning that I could do things without dip:
- Mowing the lawn
- Driving (esp. long drives)
- Watching TV or a movie
- Playing baseball / softball
- Working at the job
- DIY projects
Like you mentioned earlier in your thread, once you get to that point that quitting surpasses your craving for nicotine, the "quit" life begins to take shape. And it is extremely rewarding. Every victory, every +1 to your day count, every new phone number, and every win makes quitting worth everything. And BBQ, it will just keep getting better for you as long as post roll every day, first thing. Over 41/2 years quit, and the ROI on my quit life continues to grow. Keep it up brother
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Great intro you have going here. Made me reminisce about the days of learning that I could do things without dip:
- Mowing the lawn
- Driving (esp. long drives)
- Watching TV or a movie
- Playing baseball / softball
- Working at the job
- DIY projects
Like you mentioned earlier in your thread, once you get to that point that quitting surpasses your craving for nicotine, the "quit" life begins to take shape. And it is extremely rewarding. Every victory, every +1 to your day count, every new phone number, and every win makes quitting worth everything. And BBQ, it will just keep getting better for you as long as post roll every day, first thing. Over 41/2 years quit, and the ROI on my quit life continues to grow. Keep it up brother
Steak, Thanks for the encouragement. Lots of ups and downs as you well know but I really do feel and recognize the difference of staying the path that all the Vets such as yourself on KTC have paved. Reminder on the phone every morning to Post Roll gets me there and even have a group text with fellow October quitters as a secondary safety net roll every day gets me in a better headspace.
Looking forward for the longer term quit life you alluded to, but until then I'm riding the waves, ODAAT. Thanks again for the note. I quit with you today (2 weeks today!). Always good to see another New England quitter in the roll.
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Posted to My fellow Rawktober quit group, but wanted to pin to my Intro so I never forget how I felt after reading ToddÂ’s story:
Just got done reading Trauma’s (Todd Garcia’s) entire “Day 3” Intro thread that is pinned to the Intro forum. If any of my fellow Rawktober brothers ( or anyone else reading) needs some reassurance of why you can’t afford to slip up for even one second, it is a must read. Like SeanFiske and a lot of other people here that are still in the early stages of quit, I’m getting waves of feeling great and then waves of suck.
After 2 weeks of posting roll, taking digits, group texts, soon to be meetup, and now reading stories like ToddÂ’s, I know IÂ’m good to continue to make that pledge. I donÂ’t care how bad this sucks right now. I never want my wife, kids, and family to go thru what ToddÂ’s family did. And I hope none of you here have to either for that matter.
Thanks to Todd (wish I could have met him) and thanks to all the vets here who are helping us in the October group learn the ropes of his brotherhood and getting us through the suck.
Quit on brothers. ODAAT. Today is good.
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Posted to My fellow Rawktober quit group, but wanted to pin to my Intro so I never forget how I felt after reading ToddÂ’s story:
Just got done reading Trauma’s (Todd Garcia’s) entire “Day 3” Intro thread that is pinned to the Intro forum. If any of my fellow Rawktober brothers ( or anyone else reading) needs some reassurance of why you can’t afford to slip up for even one second, it is a must read. Like SeanFiske and a lot of other people here that are still in the early stages of quit, I’m getting waves of feeling great and then waves of suck.
After 2 weeks of posting roll, taking digits, group texts, soon to be meetup, and now reading stories like ToddÂ’s, I know IÂ’m good to continue to make that pledge. I donÂ’t care how bad this sucks right now. I never want my wife, kids, and family to go thru what ToddÂ’s family did. And I hope none of you here have to either for that matter.
Thanks to Todd (wish I could have met him) and thanks to all the vets here who are helping us in the October group learn the ropes of his brotherhood and getting us through the suck.
Quit on brothers. ODAAT. Today is good.
YouÂ’ve got a killer quit started, and youÂ’ve earned the attention in your intro of some of the most bad ass quitters I know. This isnÂ’t easy. Nothing worth doing is. Many of the best, smartest, most honorable and trustworthy people I know are addicts of nicotine. This site and the principles you are learning here will guide you to freedom, and a peace that you cannot even imagine. Sounds lame... I thought so too 2,033 days ago. Keep doing exactly what you are doing and youÂ’ll be a believer.
Todd (Trauma) would be very honored to know that his legacy is helping guys like you. I sent his 18 year old son a copy of what you posted btw. It really helps them to know that he is still helping others, even 2 years after he left us.
My phone number is in your inbox. Welcome to the best decision youÂ’ve ever made for yourself.
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Chips, I know you got a good quit going.
Everyday when we text I can tell you are on the path. We are all mentors to each because we are all the same....recovering addicts. ODAAT. Stay strong, and we all quit again tomorrow.
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Posted to My fellow Rawktober quit group, but wanted to pin to my Intro so I never forget how I felt after reading ToddÂ’s story:
Just got done reading Trauma’s (Todd Garcia’s) entire “Day 3” Intro thread that is pinned to the Intro forum. If any of my fellow Rawktober brothers ( or anyone else reading) needs some reassurance of why you can’t afford to slip up for even one second, it is a must read. Like SeanFiske and a lot of other people here that are still in the early stages of quit, I’m getting waves of feeling great and then waves of suck.
After 2 weeks of posting roll, taking digits, group texts, soon to be meetup, and now reading stories like ToddÂ’s, I know IÂ’m good to continue to make that pledge. I donÂ’t care how bad this sucks right now. I never want my wife, kids, and family to go thru what ToddÂ’s family did. And I hope none of you here have to either for that matter.
Thanks to Todd (wish I could have met him) and thanks to all the vets here who are helping us in the October group learn the ropes of his brotherhood and getting us through the suck.
Quit on brothers. ODAAT. Today is good.
YouÂ’ve got a killer quit started, and youÂ’ve earned the attention in your intro of some of the most bad ass quitters I know. This isnÂ’t easy. Nothing worth doing is. Many of the best, smartest, most honorable and trustworthy people I know are addicts of nicotine. This site and the principles you are learning here will guide you to freedom, and a peace that you cannot even imagine. Sounds lame... I thought so too 2,033 days ago. Keep doing exactly what you are doing and youÂ’ll be a believer.
Todd (Trauma) would be very honored to know that his legacy is helping guys like you. I sent his 18 year old son a copy of what you posted btw. It really helps them to know that he is still helping others, even 2 years after he left us.
My phone number is in your inbox. Welcome to the best decision youÂ’ve ever made for yourself.
Appreciate the motivation encouragement very much from you and everyone else here. Awesome feeling to know I'm not alone when things start to suck in this process.
Thank you for passing that along to Todd's family. I hope they fully understand how powerful his story has been for me and so many others already.
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After reading all of Trauma's posts in his intro thread it changed me too. I wanted to cave on day 7. After reading I have had no urge to cave AT ALL. The whole story scared me white in the face. I am even considering, since I am 48, asking my doctor if I can get a colonoscopy. I am only 1 and 1/2 years from 50. I didn't swallow a lot of chew spit. I mostly spit , but I did swallow some. I just gotta go do it.
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Double WUPP time for 200, proud to be quit wit u
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Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know IÂ’m in for more but donÂ’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40Â’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found theyÂ’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
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Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know IÂ’m in for more but donÂ’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40Â’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found theyÂ’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been to watch you support folks in your group as well as all over the site. I don't know that I branched out like you did, if I could do it all over again I'd sport your verve and panache'.
You are the quintessential colossus of quitt extraordinaire!
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Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know IÂ’m in for more but donÂ’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40Â’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found theyÂ’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been to watch you support folks in your group as well as all over the site. I don't know that I branched out like you did, if I could do it all over again I'd sport your verve and panache'.
You are the quintessential colossus of quitt extraordinaire!
Thanks, Athan. IÂ’ve tried to quit so many times when I found this place I knew it felt different. the thing that got me thru the suck and absolute hell of the first 2 weeks was going head first here. Vets coming into October like yourself and so many others helped me get over the initial hump. QWYT.
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Thanks for the topic BBQchips. Day 36 for Hutch18 and i agree without this site and the group of men who have "been there and done that" I would have caved for sure. Just like the 1000's of other times I have "quit" in the previous 34 years. Here's to being different!
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Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know IÂ’m in for more but donÂ’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40Â’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found theyÂ’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been to watch you support folks in your group as well as all over the site. I don't know that I branched out like you did, if I could do it all over again I'd sport your verve and panache'.
You are the quintessential colossus of quitt extraordinaire!
Thanks, Athan. IÂ’ve tried to quit so many times when I found this place I knew it felt different. the thing that got me thru the suck and absolute hell of the first 2 weeks was going head first here. Vets coming into October like yourself and so many others helped me get over the initial hump. QWYT.
Dude, cant agree with Athan more, you are so far ahead of me on my support efforts....I dont think I did an intro or started sending texts to build my network until DAY 77!!!!!!!!!.....you are rolling, check my intro, I was a ghost for 70 some days, in the fog.....got so much easier when doofus came out of his shell
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Closing in on 50 days this week and a few things; had my first cave dream recently. Weird thing was in the dream I caved with a cigarette. Freaked the hell out in the dream and woke up in a panic. Know IÂ’m in for more but donÂ’t look forward to it. Also been more up and down with moods in the 40Â’s than I have been at any other time since the first week quit. Not sure if you all are too but found theyÂ’re passing quicker. Trying to stay occupied with work and positive thoughts/meditation.
I can't tell you what a pleasure it's been to watch you support folks in your group as well as all over the site. I don't know that I branched out like you did, if I could do it all over again I'd sport your verve and panache'.
You are the quintessential colossus of quitt extraordinaire!
Thanks, Athan. IÂ’ve tried to quit so many times when I found this place I knew it felt different. the thing that got me thru the suck and absolute hell of the first 2 weeks was going head first here. Vets coming into October like yourself and so many others helped me get over the initial hump. QWYT.
Dude, cant agree with Athan more, you are so far ahead of me on my support efforts....I dont think I did an intro or started sending texts to build my network until DAY 77!!!!!!!!!.....you are rolling, check my intro, I was a ghost for 70 some days, in the fog.....got so much easier when doofus came out of his shell
Doof,
Our daily texts help keep the focus on my quit, or divert it to junior high humor but all the same thanks brother. Glad to have you in my corner and that you came out of your shell.
'boob'
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Getting close to un chartered quit waters.....never been past 7 months in 30 years....222 qlf
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Update on the 62 day mark (close to 9 weeks quit);
I can honestly say I would not have imagined the roller coaster of the last few weeks. I had envisioned that after the Half-HOF the physical stuff was done and I would be more steady at this point. Vets had warned us of the 60 day retreat, but it still took me by surprise. Ton's of ups and downs emotionally where I felt on top of the world, best BAQ ever and will never think about Copenhagen ever again. Then the next hour I was getting craves again! Fog has also set in again from time to time but I have a much better equipped tool kit now than I did when I initially joined KTC. WUPP, drinking water, exercise (although I need to lose weight after all the candy consumption), texting with Rawktober and vets, SSOA tracking and being on the forum all get me thru and I know ODAAT. Ready for the next wave but they have been getting better slowly but surely.
Crazy journey. Just wanted to make sure I documented the post Half-HOF doldrums. I never want to go thru this again.
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Update on the 62 day mark (close to 9 weeks quit);
I can honestly say I would not have imagined the roller coaster of the last few weeks. I had envisioned that after the Half-HOF the physical stuff was done and I would be more steady at this point. Vets had warned us of the 60 day retreat, but it still took me by surprise. Ton's of ups and downs emotionally where I felt on top of the world, best BAQ ever and will never think about Copenhagen ever again. Then the next hour I was getting craves again! Fog has also set in again from time to time but I have a much better equipped tool kit now than I did when I initially joined KTC. WUPP, drinking water, exercise (although I need to lose weight after all the candy consumption), texting with Rawktober and vets, SSOA tracking and being on the forum all get me thru and I know ODAAT. Ready for the next wave but they have been getting better slowly but surely.
Crazy journey. Just wanted to make sure I documented the post Half-HOF doldrums. I never want to go thru this again.
^^^This.
That is how you quit and that is being quit. Another huge victory brother
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DAY 237
Officially now into unchartered quit waters. Never been quit this long, never felt this strong in my quit. KTC works people, I continue to feel gratitude and honor towards a complete set of strangers who help save my life one day at a time. Thanks KTC
PS keep working your journal, I did not start until Day 70....really didn't get intimate with site until then.....you are far in front of me at this point in your quit.....at this point, it's all mind games and you have all the tool to defeat her
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Day 75;
Three quarters of the way until the HOF and felt it was a time to journal an update. ItÂ’s been far more up and down than I ever thought it would be post the 50 day mark. Mood swings are still prevalent but IÂ’ve gotten better at recognizing them earlier and correcting myself than I did early in the quit. IÂ’m thankful for my wife being understanding and having patience. IÂ’m really glad I decided to make her a part of this quit along with my KTC partners as she strengthens this for me, along with my kids. No more living the ninja life. Going to try to practice more with meditation and mindfulness to further improve on keeping the swings in check and also to help curb craves.
Fog is still very much a problem and canÂ’t wait for this nonsense to go away. Still hard to concentrate at work and energy ebbs and flows. I know I need to improve my diet and exercise more but right now IÂ’m just clawing my way to try to get to 100 days and a more secure place in my quit before I do something crazy like cutting sugar or carbs or god forbid coffee. Shows me I have an addictive personality in more than just nicotine that thanks to KTC I now am more aware of and can try to curb.
Tried Smokey mountain as well since I just spent a week in the mountains with my brother and dad who both dip. It did the trick nicely and would definitely lean on it again if the craves strike.
HereÂ’s to hoping the next 25 days pass quickly and are more calm. ODAAT and just all the more reason to never cave again. Hate nicotine and hate this roller coaster.
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Day 75;
Three quarters of the way until the HOF and felt it was a time to journal an update. ItÂ’s been far more up and down than I ever thought it would be post the 50 day mark. Mood swings are still prevalent but IÂ’ve gotten better at recognizing them earlier and correcting myself than I did early in the quit. IÂ’m thankful for my wife being understanding and having patience. IÂ’m really glad I decided to make her a part of this quit along with my KTC partners as she strengthens this for me, along with my kids. No more living the ninja life. Going to try to practice more with meditation and mindfulness to further improve on keeping the swings in check and also to help curb craves.
Fog is still very much a problem and canÂ’t wait for this nonsense to go away. Still hard to concentrate at work and energy ebbs and flows. I know I need to improve my diet and exercise more but right now IÂ’m just clawing my way to try to get to 100 days and a more secure place in my quit before I do something crazy like cutting sugar or carbs or god forbid coffee. Shows me I have an addictive personality in more than just nicotine that thanks to KTC I now am more aware of and can try to curb.
Tried Smokey mountain as well since I just spent a week in the mountains with my brother and dad who both dip. It did the trick nicely and would definitely lean on it again if the craves strike.
HereÂ’s to hoping the next 25 days pass quickly and are more calm. ODAAT and just all the more reason to never cave again. Hate nicotine and hate this roller coaster.
ThatÂ’s exactly how itÂ’s done! You are using the tools youÂ’ve learned at Ktc. You realize this is not going to happen over night. ThereÂ’s no magic number that says alright IÂ’m cured. We will always be addicts 1,100,1000. Keep learning and leaning on KTC ODAAT!
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Great work BBQ! Good to see you hanging in tight! Proud to quit with you EDD ODAAT!
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Anyone seen Hundy? I heart BBQChips ate him. That's right, BBQChips ate Hundy!
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Huge congrats brother on your comma day. Thank you for your daily support. Keep being the badass quitter that you are! Here's to the next 1,000!
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Huge congrats brother on your comma day. Thank you for your daily support. Keep being the badass quitter that you are! Here's to the next 1,000!
This dude is the definition of brotherhood. Soak up the big win today, bro!
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Huge congrats brother on your comma day. Thank you for your daily support. Keep being the badass quitter that you are! Here's to the next 1,000!
This dude is the definition of brotherhood. Soak up the big win today, bro!
Is @BBQchips (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=193) not even reading up on his own intro on his comma day?
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Huge congrats brother on your comma day. Thank you for your daily support. Keep being the badass quitter that you are! Here's to the next 1,000!
This dude is the definition of brotherhood. Soak up the big win today, bro!
Is @BBQchips (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=193) not even reading up on his own intro on his comma day?
@69franx (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=26) appreciate the support and brotherhood each day (and yes was a little slow in the responses) 'party2'
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1,000 days in the rearview;
I realized just how long it has been since I stroked an entry here and felt today was a good day to do so. I would be lying if I said I ever knew for certain I could make it 1,000 days without nicotine. There are just so many unknowns and although my resolve to beat the addiction to nicotine seems absolute, 1,000 always seemed like an extreme aspiration in the early days of my quit. The early days of the quit are intense and occupy most of your attention. The physical withdrawals, the emotional ups and downs, and the sickening attachment to that evil chemical force you to stay engaged. Thankfully I stumbled upon KTC and all my brothers and sisters in quit that got me over the wall of the first 100 days. Although the intensity and difficulty of those 100 days (and a good chunk after) were among the hardest in my life, it is the comradery and people of KTC that made it bearable and lifted me up countless times. To this day, I consider this quit and milestone to be among the hardest I have had to endure, and I say that over a brain tumor and the road back from brain surgery.
It is after you get that day count to the three hundred mark and beyond that complacency starts to creep in. The early days of being in the trenches have faded, and the physical pull of the addiction is not as prevalent. Dip and your quit are no longer the front and center focus of your day-to-day (or hour to hour) existence, thank God! So there is more room to forget or run on autopilot. I think that is OK to some extent, however after hitting 1,000 days, a mark that again always seemed so far off in the future, that I reflected back on the rough and winding road with my wife and wanted to record it here.
Never forget;
- The nights waiting for my family to fall asleep so I could throw a dip in my mouth and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Staying up well past useful hours with nicotine coursing through my body and wreaking havoc. I now relish the extra time with my kids and do not have this voice in my head telling me "they should all go to sleep so we can watch TV/play video games with a Copenhagen in".
How my anxiety could never be addressed properly because I realized dipping was a quick fix band-aid I had used over 20-years to avoid hard truths. It prevented me from personal growth and from ever being truly present in the moment EVER, as dip would inevitably become a thought eventually. I now can try to grow a meditation and mindfulness practice instead that was never possible before.
Needing to take breaks at work to drive around pointlessly so I could dip mid-day, losing productive hours of work.
The swollen gums, yellow teeth, bad breath and FEAR of the dentist visit.
The vast sums of money wasted. If you break it down to how many hours you need to work a job (in many cases that stresses you out already) to then buy obscene amounts of a product that is only intended to get you addicted for life, ultimately killing you slowly, it is extremely depressing.
The fear of not having enough dip around on a vacation to a tropical paradise being a focus, rather than enjoying the limited time you have there with loved ones.
Being a slave to something so stupid.
That our days here are never guaranteed. To spend so much thought, time, money and our lives on this chemical is a serious injustice to ourselves and those that care about us. Be here now.
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Huge congrats brother on your comma day. Thank you for your daily support. Keep being the badass quitter that you are! Here's to the next 1,000!
Madd respect Mr. Chips! 8)
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1,000 days in the rearview;
I realized just how long it has been since I stroked an entry here and felt today was a good day to do so. I would be lying if I said I ever knew for certain I could make it 1,000 days without nicotine. There are just so many unknowns and although my resolve to beat the addiction to nicotine seems absolute, 1,000 always seemed like an extreme aspiration in the early days of my quit. The early days of the quit are intense and occupy most of your attention. The physical withdrawals, the emotional ups and downs, and the sickening attachment to that evil chemical force you to stay engaged. Thankfully I stumbled upon KTC and all my brothers and sisters in quit that got me over the wall of the first 100 days. Although the intensity and difficulty of those 100 days (and a good chunk after) were among the hardest in my life, it is the comradery and people of KTC that made it bearable and lifted me up countless times. To this day, I consider this quit and milestone to be among the hardest I have had to endure, and I say that over a brain tumor and the road back from brain surgery.
It is after you get that day count to the three hundred mark and beyond that complacency starts to creep in. The early days of being in the trenches have faded, and the physical pull of the addiction is not as prevalent. Dip and your quit are no longer the front and center focus of your day-to-day (or hour to hour) existence, thank God! So there is more room to forget or run on autopilot. I think that is OK to some extent, however after hitting 1,000 days, a mark that again always seemed so far off in the future, that I reflected back on the rough and winding road with my wife and wanted to record it here.
Never forget;
- The nights waiting for my family to fall asleep so I could throw a dip in my mouth and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Staying up well past useful hours with nicotine coursing through my body and wreaking havoc. I now relish the extra time with my kids and do not have this voice in my head telling me "they should all go to sleep so we can watch TV/play video games with a Copenhagen in".
How my anxiety could never be addressed properly because I realized dipping was a quick fix band-aid I had used over 20-years to avoid hard truths. It prevented me from personal growth and from ever being truly present in the moment EVER, as dip would inevitably become a thought eventually. I now can try to grow a meditation and mindfulness practice instead that was never possible before.
Needing to take breaks at work to drive around pointlessly so I could dip mid-day, losing productive hours of work.
The swollen gums, yellow teeth, bad breath and FEAR of the dentist visit.
The vast sums of money wasted. If you break it down to how many hours you need to work a job (in many cases that stresses you out already) to then buy obscene amounts of a product that is only intended to get you addicted for life, ultimately killing you slowly, it is extremely depressing.
The fear of not having enough dip around on a vacation to a tropical paradise being a focus, rather than enjoying the limited time you have there with loved ones.
Being a slave to something so stupid.
That our days here are never guaranteed. To spend so much thought, time, money and our lives on this chemical is a serious injustice to ourselves and those that care about us. Be here now.
Great stuff brother. You should post this in the comma club. Will get it approved ASAP
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1,000 days in the rearview;
I realized just how long it has been since I stroked an entry here and felt today was a good day to do so. I would be lying if I said I ever knew for certain I could make it 1,000 days without nicotine. There are just so many unknowns and although my resolve to beat the addiction to nicotine seems absolute, 1,000 always seemed like an extreme aspiration in the early days of my quit. The early days of the quit are intense and occupy most of your attention. The physical withdrawals, the emotional ups and downs, and the sickening attachment to that evil chemical force you to stay engaged. Thankfully I stumbled upon KTC and all my brothers and sisters in quit that got me over the wall of the first 100 days. Although the intensity and difficulty of those 100 days (and a good chunk after) were among the hardest in my life, it is the comradery and people of KTC that made it bearable and lifted me up countless times. To this day, I consider this quit and milestone to be among the hardest I have had to endure, and I say that over a brain tumor and the road back from brain surgery.
It is after you get that day count to the three hundred mark and beyond that complacency starts to creep in. The early days of being in the trenches have faded, and the physical pull of the addiction is not as prevalent. Dip and your quit are no longer the front and center focus of your day-to-day (or hour to hour) existence, thank God! So there is more room to forget or run on autopilot. I think that is OK to some extent, however after hitting 1,000 days, a mark that again always seemed so far off in the future, that I reflected back on the rough and winding road with my wife and wanted to record it here.
Never forget;
- The nights waiting for my family to fall asleep so I could throw a dip in my mouth and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Staying up well past useful hours with nicotine coursing through my body and wreaking havoc. I now relish the extra time with my kids and do not have this voice in my head telling me "they should all go to sleep so we can watch TV/play video games with a Copenhagen in".
How my anxiety could never be addressed properly because I realized dipping was a quick fix band-aid I had used over 20-years to avoid hard truths. It prevented me from personal growth and from ever being truly present in the moment EVER, as dip would inevitably become a thought eventually. I now can try to grow a meditation and mindfulness practice instead that was never possible before.
Needing to take breaks at work to drive around pointlessly so I could dip mid-day, losing productive hours of work.
The swollen gums, yellow teeth, bad breath and FEAR of the dentist visit.
The vast sums of money wasted. If you break it down to how many hours you need to work a job (in many cases that stresses you out already) to then buy obscene amounts of a product that is only intended to get you addicted for life, ultimately killing you slowly, it is extremely depressing.
The fear of not having enough dip around on a vacation to a tropical paradise being a focus, rather than enjoying the limited time you have there with loved ones.
Being a slave to something so stupid.
That our days here are never guaranteed. To spend so much thought, time, money and our lives on this chemical is a serious injustice to ourselves and those that care about us. Be here now.
Great stuff brother. You should post this in the comma club. Will get it approved ASAP
Taken care of