KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: jeffw on November 02, 2018, 06:32:51 PM
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I couldn't find my old intro from August of 17 but I will start this new journal...day 458 and still quit
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https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/qs_xtreme/done-t12252.html
Here's the link to archive of your old intro unfortunately everything isn't being transferred here but is still available on Tapatalk.
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😂😇
PNW Power!☺
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I'm done after 27 years...I've tried quitting before and have had some success but always go back to the crap. I am committed to being done as I have finally realized that my life has revolved around this nasty crap. I joined yesterday, and after reading the stories, went and threw away every can I had laying around. Its not going to be easy but I am excited to use KTC to help me through it.
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Hey Jeff - welcome! Just sent you a private message (PM). If you look at the upper right-hand corner of a forum page, there's an "Inbox" link - that's where you'll find your PMs.
Thirty-three years here as a slave to the can, 206 days free. Hang in there, stay the course, and lean on us here to get through your first days and weeks. Make sure you post first thing, every day, and then keep your promise. It may be rough, but it is so, SO worth it.
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Welcome Jeff, glad to see you in here and on roll!
Reach out if I can help.
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Hey Jeff, welcome to the November quit group. I am a member there, I joined 10 days ago. You have just made the 3rd most important decision in your life. The other two are who to marry and what God to worship; come to think of it since all of us here were worshiping the dead plant, this might in fact be the number 1 most important decision.
Several tidbits I've learned since being here:
- Nicotine never solves anything. 1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems.
- You should never lose an argument to a dead plant in a plastic can. You're much smarter than it is.
- If a thing is worth doing, it is never easy.
- You can in fact decide to do something for one day and succeed at it. Don't worry about tomorrow.
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In my original introduction i failed to mention that i have hidden my addiction from most people and especially my wife. I have been working up the courage to tell her about my deception, but this morning the cat was let out of the bag as she found my tablet with ktc opened up. Lots of questions were followed by a bit of anger and hurt, but she is behind me 100%. I still have work to but having that monkey off my back will be helpful
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In my original introduction i failed to mention that i have hidden my addiction from most people and especially my wife. I have been working up the courage to tell her about my deception, but this morning the cat was let out of the bag as she found my tablet with ktc opened up. Lots of questions were followed by a bit of anger and hurt, but she is behind me 100%. I still have work to but having that monkey off my back will be helpful
I have had to have talks with my kids regarding my addiction several times over the last 3 years. It is good that they still know about the addiction, and that I need support to fight the daily fight. Honesty goes a long way to fight!
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In my original introduction i failed to mention that i have hidden my addiction from most people and especially my wife. I have been working up the courage to tell her about my deception, but this morning the cat was let out of the bag as she found my tablet with ktc opened up. Lots of questions were followed by a bit of anger and hurt, but she is behind me 100%. I still have work to but having that monkey off my back will be helpful
I can relate to that one as well. Let me tell you that you are lucky to have that conversation. I am a part of the Nov Quit group as well but my wife found out about my addiction when the maid left a can on kitchen counter. We are currently working through our issues around my ability to hide something/anything form her, we will get through and be stronger but it will take time. I wish I would have told her myself and done it years ago! How long have you been married and hiding it?
If you need any help shoot me a note - available anytime lets kick this shit together !
11 Days here and feeling good
Scott
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Married 11 years, hiding it for the last 7 basically. She quit smoking (cold turkey) as soon as she was pregnant with our first and hasn't touched it since...I tried quitting at the same time and it worked for a bit but then I went fishing in Alaska for 10 days and caved big time. I have been ninja dipping ever since. Again, glad it is out in the open now as I was basically sneaking my quit behind her back as well.
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Married just 5 years here but hiding for the past 8 years of and off through failed pussy-shit quit attempts.
The lie did not go over well with the wife, she was more hurt by the fact i could so easily hide something from her than the actual chew (and she hated that as well!) She was absolutely devastated and I felt so bad that I had done this to the family. We just had our first child 2 months ago and I can't believe a stupid little can put any future with my wife and child in jeopardy.
I have to say this past weekend the best feelings came over me since i am now done with the can 'Finger' - Was not having to wonder where I could possibly get my next dip in and changing what we were doing to feed my beast.
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In my original introduction i failed to mention that i have hidden my addiction from most people and especially my wife. I have been working up the courage to tell her about my deception, but this morning the cat was let out of the bag as she found my tablet with ktc opened up. Lots of questions were followed by a bit of anger and hurt, but she is behind me 100%. I still have work to but having that monkey off my back will be helpful
I've talked to many smokers over the time that I've been quit. These were 20 to 30 year smokers who quit cold turkey. All of them said they had no problem and never looked back. I think chew is a little different of an animal. It really takes a hold of you. For me quitting was something terrible. I felt like shit, had anxiety problems, couldn't sleep and all the other problems you read about on here. But if your focused and truly want to quit, this is the place for you. Welcome.
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ive heard the same thing about smokers...my wife admitted that she is different and that people usually struggle...this is my final quit...stupid worm dirt has controlled me long enough
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so today was a bit of an awakening. We were discussing travel plans at work and the first thought that popped into my nic addicted mind was a road trip can. After the initial romanticizing of the road trip can, I got pissed that this poison has so much control over my thoughts... 'Finger' FU Nic and the can
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so today was a bit of an awakening. We were discussing travel plans at work and the first thought that popped into my nic addicted mind was a road trip can. After the initial romanticizing of the road trip can, I got pissed that this poison has so much control over my thoughts... 'Finger' FU Nic and the can
I agree...and double 'Finger' to the vacation can (or roll)!
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just read thru trauma's intro.....that alone is enough motivation to never ever cave.....scared shitless at the moment
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just read thru trauma's intro.....that alone is enough motivation to never ever cave.....scared shitless at the moment
The good news is that here we quit one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself. You can do it!
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Since this is my thread, I am going to add some more to my intro. I took my first Kodiak dip my freshman year of college as a dare. I remember getting dizzy and almost puking but for some reason I had another and before long I headed to the C-store to by my own can. Twenty seven years later, I was still going at it. I stopped a few times but never for more than a month, and would quickly jump back into it if a fishing trip or road trip presented itself. I have pulled the same quit routine as other addicts on this site, I'll quit when I finish college, when I get a job, when I get married, when my child is born, when my second child is born, when my children are out of diapers, but as we know, most of those date are bullshit lies we tell ourselves to make us feel better. This time is different...it took me almost 3 decades to realize that dip was controlling how I lived my life. No more...I quit today...and everyday after that. This site is the only reason I will be successful in this quit.
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today marks day 11 being free of nic as well as 11 years of marriage. Ive hidden my addiction for the majority of those 11 years so heres to the start of a nic free relationship and an end to the lies and deceit included in my addiction.
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spent most of today surrounded by dippers.....no crave and no cave....1 small victory in this long battle but ill take it because there will be some tough days ahead
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spent most of today surrounded by dippers.....no crave and no cave....1 small victory in this long battle but ill take it because there will be some tough days ahead
Remember you're never alone as long as that names on roll! We have all been where you are, we understand how tough it is and I applaud you for making note of what may seem so small to some but a victory to you. That's awesome! Quit on my friend!
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thanks pab.....not sure about the roll tide though....witnessed it first hand in atlanta new years and didnt aporeciate it too much
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thanks pab.....not sure about the roll tide though....witnessed it first hand in atlanta new years and didnt aporeciate it too much
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Hey Jeff nice name! You've got a good quit going keep it up. I sent you a PM with my number. We have a lot more in common than just the name. I was a ninja dipper, hid it from my wife, first dip was freshman year of college Kodiak Ice, many failed quit attempts before KTC.....I'm 285 days quit today. This method works, buy in and dig your quit hole as deep as you possibly can. The more you are involved the deeper that hole gets.
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f harbaugh....lol glad he is in the b10. ninja dipping is rediculous
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f harbaugh....lol glad he is in the b10. ninja dipping is rediculous
day 17 today....quit is going well, cravings seem to be less frequent. We are planning a fly fishing trip for my friends 50th next year and i instantly had anxiety over being around dippers. When you add the fact that there have been recent cavers, i realized that i can never let my guard down....one quit day at a time
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day 27....spent the weekend doing activities with my wife. It was so nice not having to worry about how to get a ninja a dip in and just focus on us. She said it was the most fun shes had with me in years which is really sad. Being a slave to the cat shit is so fucked up and im glad to be free today.
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today i start month 2. had my first football party last night and it felt good to not have to stress about hiding my dip...i told my friends i was quit and i needed them to be supportive.
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Great intro Jeff! I can relate to the ninja thing as well. I always justified it to myself that I wasn't lying because she never outright asked me about it. Next to finding KTC, opening up about my Quit was the best thing I've done. Keep it up man, you're doing this the right way!
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today marks 6 weeks quit which feels amazing. i went tuna fishing the other day and i was telling the captain about my quit. He informed me that he was a former smoker and dipper and completely understood the addiction side. He told me it was so bad that he would smoke with a big fat dip in. As he is telling me his story I notice him running his tongue between his lip and teeth like he had a dip in. What that told me at that moment was the addiction never goes away and we have be on guard at all times. He had the fucking addict crazy eyes and everything. That nic is one nasty bitch and all ive got for her is 'Finger'
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Today marks my halfway point to the first floor. Last night I read the Jenny and Tom Kern story again as i was lying in bed with my 7 year old daughter. Just the thought of not being there for her is enough for me...this quit isn't for my daughter but for me because I don't want to miss out on any of it. I celebrated day 50 by waking up at 4 am, pissing, then posting roll. I then headed off to the gym and completed the filthy fifty in 38 minutes. This is the longest I have been quit and I am going to remain quit today and wake up tomorrow and quit again tomorrow. Through all of the cravings, the fog, etc...life is so much better now that I am in control and am no longer a slave.
on a side note today....been super pissed at the world most of the day today. Everyone has gotten on my nerves and ive blown my top multiple times today...hopefully sleep will help this
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Hey name Twin! Nice Day 65 today! 'Cheers'
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The fog hit me around this point, day 65-70, pretty hard. Hopefully skips you, but quit on!
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The fog hit me around this point, day 65-70, pretty hard. Hopefully skips you, but quit on!
Alterego brings up a great point! I was foggy 60s and 70s too! Be mindful!
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Today is day 80 and I am feeling pretty good. I have finally gotten past the ridiculous appetite for sugary treats. I packed on almost 10 lbs in the first 70 days or so but have lost 6 of those this week alone by eating cleaner and and excising daily. It feels like I am getting my mojo back a bit. For some reason I have been thinking about dip much more lately but i think its because I've been more exposed to it lately. I played golf last week and was teamed with 3 smokers and a dipper. They dipper went through an entire can in a 5 hour round and was desperate to get to the C-store afterword for a new can. I felt bad for him as the nic bitch had a strong hold on him and he was no where near ready to quit. This morning I witnessed an acquaintance driving in front of me taking the long way to work so he could get his morning dip in and again i felt bad as the nic bitch had a strong hold over him as well and was making him waste time away from the family so he could get that dip in before work. I am so happy I am no longer a slave to that fucking dead plant and I am convinced that I would not be at day 80 without KTC and my quit brothers and sisters. Anyhow...the countdown to the HOF is on for my quit group so it should be an excellent month.
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Today is day 80 and I am feeling pretty good. I have finally gotten past the ridiculous appetite for sugary treats. I packed on almost 10 lbs in the first 70 days or so but have lost 6 of those this week alone by eating cleaner and and excising daily. It feels like I am getting my mojo back a bit. For some reason I have been thinking about dip much more lately but i think its because I've been more exposed to it lately. I played golf last week and was teamed with 3 smokers and a dipper. They dipper went through an entire can in a 5 hour round and was desperate to get to the C-store afterword for a new can. I felt bad for him as the nic bitch had a strong hold on him and he was no where near ready to quit. This morning I witnessed an acquaintance driving in front of me taking the long way to work so he could get his morning dip in and again i felt bad as the nic bitch had a strong hold over him as well and was making him waste time away from the family so he could get that dip in before work. I am so happy I am no longer a slave to that fucking dead plant and I am convinced that I would not be at day 80 without KTC and my quit brothers and sisters. Anyhow...the countdown to the HOF is on for my quit group so it should be an excellent month.
Great job thus far name twin! Damn proud to quit with you sir!
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day 83 today and had a dentist appointment. They found a white patch on my gum and now I am a bit freaked out. i think the white patch is from the coffee grinds and seeds but will find out next week. The funny thing is I have been going to the dentist twice per year for a decade and as soon as i quit dipping white patches show up.
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day 86 today and i had my first dip dream last night. Im not sure where the tin came from but in the dream i recall putting in a big fatty while sitting on the toilet. I had a beer can as a spitter and was spitting away doing my business. I then realized my fuck up as I actually have a life insurance exam today. I quickly dumped all that crap out and brushed my teeth like a mad man. I then thought about ktc and convinced myself that no one would know. I asked myself if i had posted roll that day and was certain i had so intense anxiety overwhelmed me because I had to now tell everyone that I had caved. What a fucked up dream and just proves the pure evil of the nic bitch. Glad to still be quit and I hope I dont have many more of those dreams.
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Any dental follow-up?
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day 86 today and i had my first dip dream last night. Im not sure where the tin came from but in the dream i recall putting in a big fatty while sitting on the toilet. I had a beer can as a spitter and was spitting away doing my business. I then realized my fuck up as I actually have a life insurance exam today. I quickly dumped all that crap out and brushed my teeth like a mad man. I then thought about ktc and convinced myself that no one would know. I asked myself if i had posted roll that day and was certain i had so intense anxiety overwhelmed me because I had to now tell everyone that I had caved. What a fucked up dream and just proves the pure evil of the nic bitch. Glad to still be quit and I hope I dont have many more of those dreams.
ItÂ’s a reminder that you may have been getting a little complacent and helps you to rise and shine and post roll! YouÂ’re doing great, as much as IÂ’ve read it damn near happens to everyone. A friend of mine with over 2000 dayÂ’s had one the other night and he said it was a reminder where he had came from.
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Any dental follow-up?
I have a follow up on Wednesday to see if the white patch is healing itself. If not they will scrape some crap off and send it to a lab.
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Any dental follow-up?
I have a follow up on Wednesday to see if the white patch is healing itself. If not they will scrape some crap off and send it to a lab.
Today is day 99 for me so I will give an update prior to my HOF day tomorrow. I ended up getting a biopsy done on 11/1 because the white patch had not changed in a week. I have not gotten the results back yet but I am feeling pretty good about it because the white patch has begun to go away. I also went to see an ENT on 11/3 to check my neck and throat for any signs. He said everything outside of the white patch looked good. I also learned what to look for and scheduled an annual cancer screening. So between the annual ENT visit and the bi annual dental visit I should be able to stay on top of any problems. The one thing I will not do is take the fact that I poisoned myself for 27 years for granted. I quit for myself so I could see my kids grow up and so I can enjoy the second half of this life. If the cost of my freedom is regular check ups then so be it. I look forward to my HOF day tomorrow but I have barely scratched the surface of this quit.
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Any dental follow-up?
I have a follow up on Wednesday to see if the white patch is healing itself. If not they will scrape some crap off and send it to a lab.
Today is day 99 for me so I will give an update prior to my HOF day tomorrow. I ended up getting a biopsy done on 11/1 because the white patch had not changed in a week. I have not gotten the results back yet but I am feeling pretty good about it because the white patch has begun to go away. I also went to see an ENT on 11/3 to check my neck and throat for any signs. He said everything outside of the white patch looked good. I also learned what to look for and scheduled an annual cancer screening. So between the annual ENT visit and the bi annual dental visit I should be able to stay on top of any problems. The one thing I will not do is take the fact that I poisoned myself for 27 years for granted. I quit for myself so I could see my kids grow up and so I can enjoy the second half of this life. If the cost of my freedom is regular check ups then so be it. I look forward to my HOF day tomorrow but I have barely scratched the surface of this quit.
Jeff, congrats on HOF! Damn proud to quit with you!
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Any dental follow-up?
I have a follow up on Wednesday to see if the white patch is healing itself. If not they will scrape some crap off and send it to a lab.
Today is day 99 for me so I will give an update prior to my HOF day tomorrow. I ended up getting a biopsy done on 11/1 because the white patch had not changed in a week. I have not gotten the results back yet but I am feeling pretty good about it because the white patch has begun to go away. I also went to see an ENT on 11/3 to check my neck and throat for any signs. He said everything outside of the white patch looked good. I also learned what to look for and scheduled an annual cancer screening. So between the annual ENT visit and the bi annual dental visit I should be able to stay on top of any problems. The one thing I will not do is take the fact that I poisoned myself for 27 years for granted. I quit for myself so I could see my kids grow up and so I can enjoy the second half of this life. If the cost of my freedom is regular check ups then so be it. I look forward to my HOF day tomorrow but I have barely scratched the surface of this quit.
Jeff, congrats on HOF! Damn proud to quit with you!
Thank you for all the support the other Jeff W
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Any dental follow-up?
I have a follow up on Wednesday to see if the white patch is healing itself. If not they will scrape some crap off and send it to a lab.
Today is day 99 for me so I will give an update prior to my HOF day tomorrow. I ended up getting a biopsy done on 11/1 because the white patch had not changed in a week. I have not gotten the results back yet but I am feeling pretty good about it because the white patch has begun to go away. I also went to see an ENT on 11/3 to check my neck and throat for any signs. He said everything outside of the white patch looked good. I also learned what to look for and scheduled an annual cancer screening. So between the annual ENT visit and the bi annual dental visit I should be able to stay on top of any problems. The one thing I will not do is take the fact that I poisoned myself for 27 years for granted. I quit for myself so I could see my kids grow up and so I can enjoy the second half of this life. If the cost of my freedom is regular check ups then so be it. I look forward to my HOF day tomorrow but I have barely scratched the surface of this quit.
Jeff, congrats on HOF! Damn proud to quit with you!
Thank you for all the support the other Jeff W
Damn son you learned early how to quit! Congratulations on the hof! Go out eat somewhere really nice and send me the bill
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Huge congrats on your 101 JW!
Cheers to many more!
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Huge congrats on your 101 JW!
Cheers to many more!
I appreciate it Chick....
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Congrats on hof!
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Spent 11 days in Jamaica and did not have any cravings. What stood out to me was the freedom I had to spend time with my wife and kids without having to worry about ditching them to get my fix. It was an unbelievable eye opening experience in regards to the power of addiction and what freedom actually feels like.
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Day 121 and had the most intense dip dream last night. In my dream I full on planned the cave, went to the store purchased a can of grizzly and put a dip in. I could feel the burn and the buzz which is frightening. I remember savoring the dip I had in my lip then realizing that I had made a promise that day, spit it out. I contemplated what to do next, come in here and confess and start at day 1 again or lie, throw the shit away, and act like nothing ever happened. In the dream I decided that I needed another dip to help me think through the problem. I woke up in full on panic attack until i realized it was a dream. The nic bitch never goes away so you always have to be on guard...crazy shit this addiction is.
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Day 184..haven't posted an update in here for a while. As of today I have lost about 1/2 the weight I gained during the quit. My fitness is improving dramatically and I feel so much better these days. I still get cravings and I still use the smokey mountain daily but my quit is strong because I make my promise daily. A couple weeks ago I spent the weekend fishing with a cope addict. This guy had a custom embroidered spitter koozy and had been using the same spit bottle for over a year. I don't ever remember keeping the same spitter longer than a week. Needless to say...it was fucking gross. He has no intentions of ever quitting and constantly called me a pussy for quitting but none of it phased me. On a positive not, I have convinced my neighbor to quit and he is a cool month into it. I am trying to convince him to join but will continue to support him either way.
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day 200 and im on the fishing trip i caved on last year.....freedom from nic is so much better
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day 200 and im on the fishing trip i caved on last year.....freedom from nic is so much better
Congrats on the 2nd Floor! Keep going!
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day 216 and need to provide an update. A week and a half ago i watched as fire and smoke engulfed my wood shop. 90 percent of my belongings were destroyed but the structure and my wooden boat build survived. Ive been dealing with investigators, adjusters, and clean up crews and not one thought of caving because ive msintained my 100 percent roll post. I havent posted the support i normally do but that will pick up as my shop problems get fixed.
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day 216 and need to provide an update. A week and a half ago i watched as fire and smoke engulfed my wood shop. 90 percent of my belongings were destroyed but the structure and my wooden boat build survived. Ive been dealing with investigators, adjusters, and clean up crews and not one thought of caving because ive msintained my 100 percent roll post. I havent posted the support i normally do but that will pick up as my shop problems get fixed.
So sorry to hear of those losses.
Through all you kept that promise. You want that quit.
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just a quick journal update: the shop is almost rebuilt and i had a clean bill of health at the dentist. They are now passing on ktc info to other chew patients so hopefully we can get a few more quitters in here.
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just a quick journal update: the shop is almost rebuilt and i had a clean bill of health at the dentist. They are now passing on ktc info to other chew patients so hopefully we can get a few more quitters in here.
Love the fact that you instilled into your company to encourage others not only to quit but also point them to a place that definitely works KTC
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Well...today marks 1 full year of freedom. I still get occasional cravings but they don't last long. Its amazing how much better I feel without the poison flowing thru my body. I wouldn't have made it a year without the people from this site. Thank you everyone for the support.
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two years quit on 8/1...feels amazing