KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: SHU26 on October 23, 2012, 10:24:00 AM
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My first day here! I know it's going to be tough, but this has to stop today. I've been on the website before and it took me a while to sign up. I've been doing this too long and have too much to live for to have this B.S. control almost every aspect of my life. I'm tired of it and ready to move forward 1 step at a time, 1 day at a time.
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...just hold on tight...first few days are "mind-bending"?! Good luck
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Welcome aboard Shu. Congrats on taking the first step, glad to be quit with you today.
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SHU, I am Day 58 today. These first few days...These are the "grit your teeth and bare it" days. BUT, here's the cool thing. Some people differ by a few hours or half a day, but all the BS you are going to feel RIGHT ABOUT NOW, will pass after 72 hours. I swear this to you! My hardcore fog lasted 3.5 days. It's physical. It's real. It is consistent. It is an addiction. Face it. Learn to own it.
In my first few days, I learned to "Embrace the Suck." You'll learn what that means. But it helps.
Here's what you do. Spend as much time as you can on here staying connected, reading other peoples' stories of success, sometimes failure, and always effort. I spent pretty much my entire first week on Live Chat (desktop, iPhone as well as Ipad...) The people on this site... They got me through. Them and finally having a big enough sack to do it cold turkey.
Here's another thing that REALLY helped me understand what was happening to me. When I could understand it, and explain it to myself, I was able to fear it less, and accept it.
Nicotine Addiction (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html)
Seriously. Read it. It explains alot.
PM me if you'd like my phone number for texting or talking. I have always found, that just staying connected, helps. Helping others helps me. It's very reciprocal for me.
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Welcome to The JackWagin's Brother!!! I am dead middle of my fog man and it Sucks!! But All the Raisin's (Older Guys) ;) On here say the same thing.....Embrace IT!! I text my buddie yesterday and told him, How in the hell am I supposed to Embrace something i Hate?? Suddenly, 16 hours later......It makes sense. No way to explain it...Just Gotta Cowboy UP!!!
I used the chat last night for an hour and it was a huge help!! Lots of laughs and advice. They all know that if you are there and a Newbie you are just trying to keep your hands busy and mind off of the Monster!!
Reach out anytime Bro!! Lots of good Peeps in the Jackwagins!!!! Roll Call Beeotch!! Be there!!!
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My first few days, on more than one occasion, I would be driving around town (for my job) and I would be purposefully raging so hard I'd be pounding the steering wheel. You know what? It helped. Then, I was able to laugh at myself.
I got through that hour. Then another. I took it one hour at a time. The oldest raisins on here will tell you you have to take it one day at a time. You don't quit forever, you quit for the day. You do that every day. Then you just string them together.
I am not quit forever. i am quit for today. Tomorrow? I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
You? Get through the next hour. Then worry about the next one.
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The road to freedom goes through hell. It is worth the toll. Reach out when necessary.
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Welcome to The JackWagin's Brother!!! I am dead middle of my fog man and it Sucks!! But All the Raisin's (Older Guys) ;) On here say the same thing.....Embrace IT!! I text my buddie yesterday and told him, How in the hell am I supposed to Embrace something i Hate?? Suddenly, 16 hours later......It makes sense. No way to explain it...Just Gotta Cowboy UP!!!
I used the chat last night for an hour and it was a huge help!! Lots of laughs and advice. They all know that if you are there and a Newbie you are just trying to keep your hands busy and mind off of the Monster!!
Reach out anytime Bro!! Lots of good Peeps in the Jackwagins!!!! Roll Call Beeotch!! Be there!!!
Thanks for the support. My first day is coming off of a guys trip to Vegas and my Buddy and I decided it was time. When I posted this morning, I felt great that I had made the right decision.
It's now 2pm EST, and the craving has hit me....outta nowhere! I've done a good job of blocking "IT" out, but now I feel like pushing back my date. Seriously! Am I this flippin weak??
Boelker 62, and everyone else, thanks for replying. I am going to work on being clean from 2-3 and then worry about the next hour after that. Thanks for the tip.
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SHU, I am Day 58 today. These first few days...These are the "grit your teeth and bare it" days. BUT, here's the cool thing. Some people differ by a few hours or half a day, but all the BS you are going to feel RIGHT ABOUT NOW, will pass after 72 hours. I swear this to you! My hardcore fog lasted 3.5 days. It's physical. It's real. It is consistent. It is an addiction. Face it. Learn to own it.
In my first few days, I learned to "Embrace the Suck." You'll learn what that means. But it helps.
Here's what you do. Spend as much time as you can on here staying connected, reading other peoples' stories of success, sometimes failure, and always effort. I spent pretty much my entire first week on Live Chat (desktop, iPhone as well as Ipad...) The people on this site... They got me through. Them and finally having a big enough sack to do it cold turkey.
Here's another thing that REALLY helped me understand what was happening to me. When I could understand it, and explain it to myself, I was able to fear it less, and accept it.
Nicotine Addiction (http://whyquit.com/whyquit/linksaaddiction.html)
Seriously. Read it. It explains alot.
PM me if you'd like my phone number for texting or talking. I have always found, that just staying connected, helps. Helping others helps me. It's very reciprocal for me.
Boelker 62,
You had a great post, and it truly helped today. You mentioned that there are failures the people have posted....are you talking relapses? I wanted to today-the toughest time for me is when the family goes to bed: Wife and two kids. I have the night to myself and I just indulge. Man, it's pathetic but still it's real and I have to be honest with myself. I need to focus on something else during this time, but it's not easy.
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I wanted to today-the toughest time for me is when the family goes to bed: Wife and two kids. I have the night to myself and I just indulge. Man, it's pathetic but still it's real and I have to be honest with myself. I need to focus on something else during this time, but it's not easy.
I suggest going to bed :). Not being a wise ass- that was hardest for me the for the first few weeks. Try to go to bed and tell her to fuck off
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What up. Been two days for me. Shu 26 got me to sign up
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Welcome. Go to the "welcome center" link and read up about posting to your quit group each day. You might want to start your own introduction post to help journal your daily quit.
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Welcome. Go to the "welcome center" link and read up about posting to your quit group each day. You might want to start your own introduction post to help journal your daily quit.
Thanks GR8WB,
Only 3 days in, but I swear the first night was the toughest. Weekends tend to be difficult for me as well-like I need an excuse so I'll have to suck it up this weekend. Trust me, I'll be on here.
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Welcome. Go to the "welcome center" link and read up about posting to your quit group each day. You might want to start your own introduction post to help journal your daily quit.
Thanks GR8WB,
Only 3 days in, but I swear the first night was the toughest. Weekends tend to be difficult for me as well-like I need an excuse so I'll have to suck it up this weekend. Trust me, I'll be on here.
that will help, spend some time here for sure, If you think it might be too hard, skip doing it and focus on staying quit for a bit longer... nice job on 3 days!
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Welcome. Go to the "welcome center" link and read up about posting to your quit group each day. You might want to start your own introduction post to help journal your daily quit.
Thanks GR8WB,
Only 3 days in, but I swear the first night was the toughest. Weekends tend to be difficult for me as well-like I need an excuse so I'll have to suck it up this weekend. Trust me, I'll be on here.
that will help, spend some time here for sure, If you think it might be too hard, skip doing it and focus on staying quit for a bit longer... nice job on 3 days!
re-reading that I wasnt sure what the hell I was saying... I was trying to say - if it's hard to not dip while you watchfootball, go bowling or get laid, avoid your triggers these first few days, when you think you can face them down the road a few days start knocking them off one at a time...
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Welcome. Go to the "welcome center" link and read up about posting to your quit group each day. You might want to start your own introduction post to help journal your daily quit.
Thanks GR8WB,
Only 3 days in, but I swear the first night was the toughest. Weekends tend to be difficult for me as well-like I need an excuse so I'll have to suck it up this weekend. Trust me, I'll be on here.
that will help, spend some time here for sure, If you think it might be too hard, skip doing it and focus on staying quit for a bit longer... nice job on 3 days!
re-reading that I wasnt sure what the hell I was saying... I was trying to say - if it's hard to not dip while you watchfootball, go bowling or get laid, avoid your triggers these first few days, when you think you can face them down the road a few days start knocking them off one at a time...
I get it, makes sense. Thanks for the tip.
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.
Today is day 1-----EFF!
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.
Today is day 1-----EFF!
Oh boy. 198 posts since Oct 2012 kind of says it all. Glad you found your way back so quick, but damn what a disappointment. There are so many die hard dead serious quitters on here. It sucks to see someone have such little regard to the importance of their own quit.
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Hey caver,
I figured I'd dig deep to find this little treasure for ya. Feel free to re-read what you wrote about when you paused using nic the last time, 223 day ago. Oh, and re-read all of the great advice some badasses gave to you. Maybe you'll find it more helpful this time around.
'evil'
Evil_Won - 237
Jan 13' Jackwagin
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!Â
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.Â
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.Â
Today is day 1-----EFF!
Oh boy. 198 posts since Oct 2012 kind of says it all. Glad you found your way back so quick, but damn what a disappointment. There are so many die hard dead serious quitters on here. It sucks to see someone have such little regard to the importance of their own quit.
SHU - I'm sure I'm not the only Jackwaggin who has pm'ed you. Do it right this time and connect.
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!Â
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.Â
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.Â
Today is day 1-----EFF!
Oh boy. 198 posts since Oct 2012 kind of says it all. Glad you found your way back so quick, but damn what a disappointment. There are so many die hard dead serious quitters on here. It sucks to see someone have such little regard to the importance of their own quit.
SHU - I'm sure I'm not the only Jackwaggin who has pm'ed you. Do it right this time and connect.
In the short amount of time I have been around, I have noticed one thing that has been a solid theme: The Jackwagins always take care of their own. This is one shitty situation, I pray I never have to go through it. But to see the level of accountability for this brother is really moving.
SHU26, I quit with you day, and will everyday going forward. One thing I have found true around here is you can NEVER have enough support....
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This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh. I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220!
Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.
SHU, I quit with you today.
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!Â
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.Â
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.Â
Today is day 1-----EFF!
Jesus H. Christ SHU...I'm at a loss here on what to even say....having a hard time comprehending how the hell this could happen. 223 in a row crapped right down the ol toilet.
Glad yer back here so quick...but fuck...i sure hope you've truly learned something, and will take to using this site the way it was intended MUCH more serious.
Damn man....this just fucking sucks. You should feel like you cheated on the folks here....that's exactly what you did. Only thing I know for sure, it that my quit just became stronger. That's a shitty silver lining to pull from this situation, but IIWII.
Keep posting up...Do what you say you are going to do this time, and I'll keep quitting with you Every.Damn.Day.
now, back to quitting.... (IIWII stands for It Is What It Is, by the way, patent not pending)
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This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh. I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220!
Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.
SHU, I quit with you today.
Rick don't let it scare you, just let a cave strengthen your resolve. That is why I'm still posting roll. At 430 days I'm still a newbie in my mind, I've seen those that have caved with more days quit than me. The last one that motivated me to continue my daily promise was a friend that caved just short of 2 years. Those that let their guard down and risk flirting with fire will most likely get burnt. One day at a time with a promise = QUIT!!!
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I hate to be the "bad cop" here, but I just don't see an answer to questions 2 and 3. Telling us how you felt about caving is good stuff, but that's just bonus material. Question #2 makes sure you know why you failed, and Question #3 makes sure you aren't just gonna do the same thing and hope for better results. I just don't see those questions have even been attempted.
I'll give you an A for emotion, D- for content.
IMHO, if you're only gonna discuss this in one place, make it your quit group forum.
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This is just scary as hell to me...... sheesh. I'm sitting at day 150, and here's a guy caving after 220!Â
Protect your quit everyday, folks. 220 days of vigilance, followed by 5 minutes of weakness, will NOT get it done.
SHU, I quit with you today.
Rick don't let it scare you, just let a cave strengthen your resolve. That is why I'm still posting roll. At 430 days I'm still a newbie in my mind, I've seen those that have caved with more days quit than me. The last one that motivated me to continue my daily promise was a friend that caved just short of 2 years. Those that let their guard down and risk flirting with fire will most likely get burnt. One day at a time with a promise = QUIT!!!
Agree with Wade here. Don't let this scare you. It's reality. Use it as motivation. Guy put a dip in for 5 minutes and spit it out. That's not even THAT scary of a story. It's stupid as hell, but not like a lot of cave stories where dudes just go off the grid and back to chin dipping like mad men.
It's like my wife who always wants me to turn the channel when I watch the 11:00 news because "it's too depressing". It's life bro.
You want some positive "non scary" shit, there is plenty of it on this site. I'm scary but positive. You ever need some help hit me up.
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If anyone should read this, below is my post with the January Jackwagins. I was quit for 223 days. That's right! Put in the grind to get to where I was and felt great about the fact that I was clean and quit. Then yesterday, I had a 15 minute window of pure stupidity and gave into this stupid addiction that I thought I had beat. Please, do yourself a favor and get through this quit. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID. This is a quit for life. Take this one day, one minute at a time.
Shu26 The price of re-entry is the answer to three questions:in old group and new
1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. What's going to be different this time?
That's right Jackwagins, I caved. Please trust me when I say that this is not a badge of honor for me, but of shame. I have no excuse whatsoever but an explanation: I thought I had this licked. I was with some friends who are not on board with their quit yet, and like before they were passing the tin around. For the past 223 days I was good with passing-never even thought about what it would be like to have just one. Then, it happened. Yesterday, I thought I would be alright if I had just one. I didn't figure on calling anyone, or posting because I beat this demon. I caved, and as soon as I did it, 223 days flashed before my eyes. Everything, EVERYTHING I did to fight and claw my way to over 200 days is thrown out the window. I felt gutless, didn't keep it in my lip for even 5 minutes. All that for 5 minutes of a total let down to me, my family and YOU!
The biggest thing that is going to change this time is my effort during times like these. I talked with sportsfan earlier today and for those who haven't talked to him-he's just as much a leader live as he is on this website. I will not put myself in this position again to cave and I will reach out to anyone on this site who has the balls to put in the grind that is the STUPID, EFFING addiction.
I will say this! For those of you who have thought that ONE won't hurt. It does and it will. I feel like I have cheated on all of you. I'm coming clean with this B.S.
Today is day 1-----EFF!
WTF Shu!!! I am assuming by your quick jump to accountability and note on the site here you are not going to partake in anymore lip turds and you are quit again. You were one day behind me in your quit and now you are 225!! I hope that puts it into perspective.
Sometimes I guess us Jackwagins think our shit dont stink because so many of the newbs look up to us and post with us. What kind of fucking example is this? I was talking with Sports last night, and I notice the same things that he notices now. I notice people that have cans in their pockets. Knowing that the poor fucker would bum you one in a second if you asked. Just to suck you back into that sorry fucked up brotherhood that involves killiing yourself or loosing your face. I am fully aware that every gas station in America sells some form of this shit!! I AM FULLY FUCKING AWARE!!!! But I made a pledge here to my fellow Jackwagins and every other bad ass that posts up every morning! My word is my bond!!
Keep It Simple Stupid!
Post, Keep your word and repeat!
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I hate to the the "bad cop" here, but I just don't see an answer to questions 2 and 3. Telling us how you felt about caving is good stuff, but that's just bonus material. Question #2 makes sure you know why you failed, and Question #3 makes sure you aren't just gonna do the same thing and hope for better results. I just don't see those questions have even been attempted.
I'll give you an A for emotion, D- for content.
IMHO, if you're only gonna discuss this in one place, make it your quit group forum.
Second.
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3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!! Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!
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3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!! Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!
I'm with these guys SHU, some better answers to the questions seem like they are in order.
"I will not put myself in this position again to cave"
But what will you do if you find yourself in a position you didn't see coming? She's a sneaky one you know....
I appreciate the fact that you came clean here, and went right back at it. I think you also need to have a deep inner conversation with yourself, and find the answers to those questions also.
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3rd that! We need something a bit more solid for questions #2 and #3 after 'flush' 223 days!!! Its your choice if you want to make this time your LAST and FINAL quit!!!
I'm with these guys SHU, some better answers to the questions seem like they are in order.
"I will not put myself in this position again to cave"
But what will you do if you find yourself in a position you didn't see coming? She's a sneaky one you know....
I appreciate the fact that you came clean here, and went right back at it. I think you also need to have a deep inner conversation with yourself, and find the answers to those questions also.
Shu - Thank you! Thank you for being honest and steping up! I am at a solid 141 days. I have had the "just one" thoughts banging in my head like no fucking tomorrow. I have dam near fallen off myself. Your five minutes was all I needed. Tomorrow when I come back I am going to read you post again. Five Minutes!!!!
Throw away all the coins and hof gear, meet people in your new group and help them and yourself stay quit.
Its a hell of a fall off the 2nd floor! Dust yourself off and start climbing. Just before you caved you were a true bad ass quitter, today your a newbie!
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No reply? No answers. No rebuttals. No "fuck you you meanies"? Nothing? SHU, how did posting your name and logging off work out last time? This time will be different because you MEAN, REALLY MEAN it this time, right?
Do I think you own an explanation to me? To the KTC brothers? You're damn right I do.
Still waiting...... 'impatient'
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Hey everyone,
Listen, if you're going to call me out I have no issues with that. I was the one who manned up and publicly outed myself. I didn't have to do that. I could have gone the chicken shit route, cave, lie and none of this shit would have ever happened. BUT I DIDN'T, so I'll deal with that. The only one that has to be good with me is the one who looks back in the mirror at night.
I didn't reply to anyone, because I didn't know people were responding to my introduction. So, I'll sum up the 3 questions that apparently wasn't good enough for you the first time.
1. What happened? I caved when I had some friends come over to my house to help me (I was re-doing my kitchen). After we were done, we had some beers. A buddy broke out the bullshit Tin and I took one.
2. Why did this happen? I didn't reach out to anyone in my group. I just did it. I cannot give you a better explanation than that. As stupid and bullshit as this sounds, it's the truth. Even now as I type this I can't believe I did it. Such a disappointment to myself. I came clean to you, my wife, and my kids. At the end of the day fellas, I know I let you down but you will not be any harder on me than I am on myself. The look in my wife and children's eyes is something that I think about since I caved at day 223 and since I've been quit for the last 59 days.
3. What am I going to do differently next time? Along with posting, I have been in contact with people like Billybill, Duathman, Sportsfan, OIB and others. For those reading this and I didn't post your name, I apologize but I wouldn't be at this point without you either. Staying on this site and keeping in contact with people who are going through this suck is what's helped me since.
Now, if there is anything else anyone would like to address with me then send me a PM and we can talk one on one. Guys, I outed myself. I understand your disappointment in me, but again, you will not be any harder on me than I am on myself.
Honestly, I find it comical that so many people have called me out when we have all been down this road. If I'm the only one who quit and then caved whether on this site or not then I'll keep my mouth shut and you can blow me up all you want. If, however, you have cave at all in your life then back off! I'm back on here to wage War against Nicotine. Not any of you!!
Any issues, PM me and I'll give you my number.
Shu26
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Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube? Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
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Yea, I know. Gave it up for what?? 5 minutes of B.S.
But, here's the thing. That was 60 days ago. I'm over it. Whether you are or not doesn't matter to me. What does is that I fell off the wagon, dusted myself off and have been quit since.
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Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube? Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
Yes Shu is on day 60 and for some reason a person in our group (who by the way "understands" why people cave) put in big bold letters 3 three questions. What was the motive for this? I have NO idea. Some things just can't be explained.
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Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube? Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
Yes Shu is on day 60 and for some reason a person in our group (who by the way "understands" why people cave) put in big bold letters the 3 questions. What was the motive for this? I have NO idea. Some things just can't be explained.
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Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube? Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
Yes Shu is on day 60 and for some reason a person in our group (who by the way "understands" why people cave) put in big bold letters the 3 questions. What was the motive for this? I have NO idea. Some things just can't be explained.
I posted that I wanted to hear Shu's answers and that i thought he owed it to his first group and that I didn't know you could change groups. I have read his 3 and feel like he has take enough shit from everyone and even from himself, wife, and maybe even kids that there is no need for me to push it further. I was looking out for my quit and I am glad I have Shu in my quit group as I hope I never have a "just once" weak moment and I will remember this feed if it ever crosses my mind.
Also, next time I will just PM someone instead of posting to the group... sorry man. My bad.
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Hey J,
It's all good brother. No worries on this end. DON'T make the same mistakes I did. Just when you think your good, it creeps up. I didn't have any real issues getting to 100 or 200. Don't throw it all away like I did. There's nothing worse than telling people (your family, brothers, etc.) that you failed them. You'll hate yourself for it. I did, and still do....seriously, If I could take that moment back I would.
When I caved, Sportsfan was the one who told me to get more involved with other groups. Look around and reach out to people. They can help make your quit that much stronger.
Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube? Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
Yes Shu is on day 60 and for some reason a person in our group (who by the way "understands" why people cave) put in big bold letters the 3 questions. What was the motive for this? I have NO idea. Some things just can't be explained.
I posted that I wanted to hear Shu's answers and that i thought he owed it to his first group and that I didn't know you could change groups. I have read his 3 and feel like he has take enough shit from everyone and even from himself, wife, and maybe even kids that there is no need for me to push it further. I was looking out for my quit and I am glad I have Shu in my quit group as I hope I never have a "just once" weak moment and I will remember this feed if it ever crosses my mind.
Also, next time I will just PM someone instead of posting to the group... sorry man. My bad.
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Hey J,
It's all good brother. No worries on this end. DON'T make the same mistakes I did. Just when you think your good, it creeps up. I didn't have any real issues getting to 100 or 200. Don't throw it all away like I did. There's nothing worse than telling people (your family, brothers, etc.) that you failed them. You'll hate yourself for it. I did, and still do....seriously, If I could take that moment back I would.
When I caved, Sportsfan was the one who told me to get more involved with other groups. Look around and reach out to people. They can help make your quit that much stronger.
Yuck. You gave your answers...what's done is done. But holy shit right?!! You threw away 223 days for what...help painting a fucking wall? Are those helpful sons of bitches with the can coming over to put your dinner in the blender for your feeding tube?  Maybe they'll explain to your loved ones that you had quit but how this was just bros being bros, or some bullshit like that? WELL FUCK THAT!!!
I'm not telling you how to live your life. I can't make the choice for you. But if you're gonna throw it all away just because your boys come over with a can, then just sign off now. This site is for quitters...not wannabes.
Decide to quit, give your word, and fucking KEEP it!!! Or don't...
Yes Shu is on day 60 and for some reason a person in our group (who by the way "understands" why people cave) put in big bold letters the 3 questions. What was the motive for this? I have NO idea. Some things just can't be explained.
I posted that I wanted to hear Shu's answers and that i thought he owed it to his first group and that I didn't know you could change groups. I have read his 3 and feel like he has take enough shit from everyone and even from himself, wife, and maybe even kids that there is no need for me to push it further. I was looking out for my quit and I am glad I have Shu in my quit group as I hope I never have a "just once" weak moment and I will remember this feed if it ever crosses my mind.
Also, next time I will just PM someone instead of posting to the group... sorry man. My bad.
Shu, I like the way u handled yourself today. You were called out... things did not go sideways like it could have. Testament to you. Your great attitude is why you were able to rebound from that cave and are now 60 days quit. That is a hell of an accomplishment in my books. I learned from you today. I am proud to be quit with you in September!
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Thanks Derk! It's not that easy to let your guard down and get beat up like that, but if I didn't cave none of this would have happened. Appreciate your support today and I quit with you and everyone else on here. One day at a time.
Shu
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Just wanted to post your acceptance to the train in your thread. Congrats Bro, with pride Jake and I welcome you on the train! Erussell -134-
And today our train is stopping at Canton Michigan..... And guys I have to tell you! This train is starting to smell like bourbon and body odor! We are going to have to air it out for a bit at some point this week......
Today we welcome a BADASS who has hit a 100 days of freedom from chew.... Shu26! He is a man who has been married to the same woman for 13 years (a hell of an accomplishment in itself) and a father of 2 kids. One 9 year old boy and a 7 year old little girl. They can truly look at there father with pride today as he reaches this milestone! He started dipping a little later in life then most of us (age 19) and is very proud (as he should be) to hit 100 days. He will be the first to admit that he is a retread having hit 100 days before but this time is different. He is more involved and clearly takes this quit serious! What is he going to do on this special day? QUIT! And join another group of quitters to support. He is a firm believer that support is the key here at KTC. He did not utilize it the first go around but he is this time and he will make sure he is there for those that follow. This man gets it! ThatÂ’s why he will succeed! What does he like to do that's inappropriate? VEGAS! I don't even have to say any more! He wont tell us what he drives though. He says it is a company car.... I'm guessing a Dodge neon. Just cause I want to pick on dodge today! BOO!
His advice to others.....”I'm a retread. I went 223 days then I caved. I didn't utilize the people who were there for me or the website. I thought once I hit 100, I'm free and clear. Well, now I know that if I hit 200, 300, or 1000, it doesn't mean anything if you don't lean on those who will hold you accountable and hold yourself accountable. “ Thats right! SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY!
He would like to thank the following....Duathman, Billybill, Sportsfan, Sharsky, Mrs. Daniels all supported me when I caved. They weren't easy on me, but they held me accountable and helped me get back on the Wagin.
Bro you have earned this ride! Jump on and grab a glass! We need someone to help with the drinks. Congrats on this 100 days. We will see you at 200! Jake Frawley
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Just wanted to post your acceptance to the train in your thread. Congrats Bro, with pride Jake and I welcome you on the train! Erussell -134-
And today our train is stopping at Canton Michigan..... And guys I have to tell you! This train is starting to smell like bourbon and body odor! We are going to have to air it out for a bit at some point this week......
Today we welcome a BADASS who has hit a 100 days of freedom from chew.... Shu26! He is a man who has been married to the same woman for 13 years (a hell of an accomplishment in itself) and a father of 2 kids. One 9 year old boy and a 7 year old little girl. They can truly look at there father with pride today as he reaches this milestone! He started dipping a little later in life then most of us (age 19) and is very proud (as he should be) to hit 100 days. He will be the first to admit that he is a retread having hit 100 days before but this time is different. He is more involved and clearly takes this quit serious! What is he going to do on this special day? QUIT! And join another group of quitters to support. He is a firm believer that support is the key here at KTC. He did not utilize it the first go around but he is this time and he will make sure he is there for those that follow. This man gets it! ThatÂ’s why he will succeed! What does he like to do that's inappropriate? VEGAS! I don't even have to say any more! He wont tell us what he drives though. He says it is a company car.... I'm guessing a Dodge neon. Just cause I want to pick on dodge today! BOO!
His advice to others.....”I'm a retread. I went 223 days then I caved. I didn't utilize the people who were there for me or the website. I thought once I hit 100, I'm free and clear. Well, now I know that if I hit 200, 300, or 1000, it doesn't mean anything if you don't lean on those who will hold you accountable and hold yourself accountable. “ Thats right! SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY!
He would like to thank the following....Duathman, Billybill, Sportsfan, Sharsky, Mrs. Daniels all supported me when I caved. They weren't easy on me, but they held me accountable and helped me get back on the Wagin.
Bro you have earned this ride! Jump on and grab a glass! We need someone to help with the drinks. Congrats on this 100 days. We will see you at 200! Jake Frawley
congrats Jason keep it rolling proud to quit with you.
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Just wanted to post your acceptance to the train in your thread. Congrats Bro, with pride Jake and I welcome you on the train! Erussell -134-
And today our train is stopping at Canton Michigan..... And guys I have to tell you! This train is starting to smell like bourbon and body odor! We are going to have to air it out for a bit at some point this week......
Today we welcome a BADASS who has hit a 100 days of freedom from chew.... Shu26! He is a man who has been married to the same woman for 13 years (a hell of an accomplishment in itself) and a father of 2 kids. One 9 year old boy and a 7 year old little girl. They can truly look at there father with pride today as he reaches this milestone! He started dipping a little later in life then most of us (age 19) and is very proud (as he should be) to hit 100 days. He will be the first to admit that he is a retread having hit 100 days before but this time is different. He is more involved and clearly takes this quit serious! What is he going to do on this special day? QUIT! And join another group of quitters to support. He is a firm believer that support is the key here at KTC. He did not utilize it the first go around but he is this time and he will make sure he is there for those that follow. This man gets it! ThatÂ’s why he will succeed! What does he like to do that's inappropriate? VEGAS! I don't even have to say any more! He wont tell us what he drives though. He says it is a company car.... I'm guessing a Dodge neon. Just cause I want to pick on dodge today! BOO!
His advice to others.....”I'm a retread. I went 223 days then I caved. I didn't utilize the people who were there for me or the website. I thought once I hit 100, I'm free and clear. Well, now I know that if I hit 200, 300, or 1000, it doesn't mean anything if you don't lean on those who will hold you accountable and hold yourself accountable. “ Thats right! SUPPORT AND ACCOUNTABILITY!
He would like to thank the following....Duathman, Billybill, Sportsfan, Sharsky, Mrs. Daniels all supported me when I caved. They weren't easy on me, but they held me accountable and helped me get back on the Wagin.
Bro you have earned this ride! Jump on and grab a glass! We need someone to help with the drinks. Congrats on this 100 days. We will see you at 200! Jake Frawley
congrats Jason keep it rolling proud to quit with you.
Quit on Jason...I quit with ya.
Congrats on the hunnert.....
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congrats Shu, solid quit and inspiration to me just 2 days behind. Keep on posting and proud to be quit with you today.
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Jason, I am happy to have welcome you to the train. We have been having a blast and you are a great addition!
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Congrats Jason!
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Others have already said it better, but well done, Jason. You could have sulked and run off like so many others, but instead you stood up, dusted yourself off, and reached out a hand while acknowledging that you fucked up.
I don't condone any cave, but I think this place benefits greatly from retreads who choose to take ownership of their addiction. Thanks for reminding us all how fragile even a 223 day quit is, and thanks for rebounding from that lesson with class.