KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: quitdoc on November 15, 2012, 01:19:00 PM
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This is day 4 of no nicotine for me. Used ~1 can/day for 4 years. I'm in medical school and am sick of being a fucking hypocrite. What kind of doctor uses nicotine? How can anybody respect a person who tells others to stop harming themselves, but then sneaks away and does the same thing? The worst part of it all was the thought that I was a hypocrite. I can't take that. I am done for good. The fog is killer; no concentration, constantly frustrated and angry, thoughts running in circles: "I need my concentration to study. I have an exam next Monday. How am I going to learn all of this shit if I can't focus? How am I going to focus without nicotine?" You know what, fuck you, you conniving addict. This shit sucks, but I am going to push through. I only have to suffer once; if I cave, the suffering will only repeat. I can still learn this shit, I can pass my exam, I will beat nicotine, and I will be not only a better doctor as a result, but a stronger person. One day at a time, one page at a time; I've got this. And, once again, you can fuck off nicotine.
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I only have to suffer once; if I cave, the suffering will only repeat.
If you continue this quit with an, "If I cave..." attitude, you will sail away on the faggoty ass failboat so fast it'll make your addict head spin just right the hell off. It has to be with the attitude that dipping is no longer something you do. It's just off the table now. Not a fucking option. This is your quit. Your only quit. Failure is not an option either.
So visit the salmon colored welcome center link in the top left hand corner, learn how to post roll, and go do it. Then all you have to do is be a man and keep your word.
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I only have to suffer once; if I cave, the suffering will only repeat.
If you continue this quit with an, "If I cave..." attitude, you will sail away on the faggoty ass failboat so fast it'll make your addict head spin just right the hell off. It has to be with the attitude that dipping is no longer something you do. It's just off the table now. Not a fucking option. This is your quit. Your only quit. Failure is not an option either.
So visit the salmon colored welcome center link in the top left hand corner, learn how to post roll, and go do it. Then all you have to do is be a man and keep your word.
Thanks. Posted roll for the first time. As far as I am concerned, tobacco doesn't even exist any more. I have no desire to use tobacco, and even if the desire tries to creep up, it won't beat me. I can't use tobacco. No matter how bad withdrawal gets, it won't kill me and it can't make me use. All I have to do to beat this is nothing.
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Thanks. Posted roll for the first time. As far as I am concerned, tobacco doesn't even exist any more. I have no desire to use tobacco, and even if the desire tries to creep up, it won't beat me. I can't use tobacco. No matter how bad withdrawal gets, it won't kill me and it can't make me use. All I have to do to beat this is nothing.
Now you went and gave me quit wood. Keep that fire in the quit. Channel it at your hate for the nic bitch. She'll be popping back up and lifting her skirt at you soon and repeatedly.
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It's ALL about choices...
As of right now, you've made GOOD and RIGHT choices...
Keep it up and remember that nicotine doesn't make a single thing better...
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'bang head' What these guys said. Take it off the table each a.m. by posting roll with all us Quitters!!!!
Post roll.
keep your word all day.
Get to sleep.
Wake up and REPEAT!
If i can do it after 30 yrs, 1-2 cans per day, then you can TOO....YOU must DECIDE each a.m. The earlier the better....and YES it does get better. It gets easier to kick the nic bitch in the head and her voice does get much quieter.
It is a victory to be quit through hard work...there is nothing magical or mystical about it....just hard work!
cheers! 'bang head'
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This is day 4 of no nicotine for me. Used ~1 can/day for 4 years. I'm in medical school and am sick of being a fucking hypocrite. What kind of doctor uses nicotine? How can anybody respect a person who tells others to stop harming themselves, but then sneaks away and does the same thing? The worst part of it all was the thought that I was a hypocrite. I can't take that. I am done for good. The fog is killer; no concentration, constantly frustrated and angry, thoughts running in circles: "I need my concentration to study. I have an exam next Monday. How am I going to learn all of this shit if I can't focus? How am I going to focus without nicotine?" You know what, fuck you, you conniving addict. This shit sucks, but I am going to push through. I only have to suffer once; if I cave, the suffering will only repeat. I can still learn this shit, I can pass my exam, I will beat nicotine, and I will be not only a better doctor as a result, but a stronger person. One day at a time, one page at a time; I've got this. And, once again, you can fuck off nicotine.
Liked reading the battle as it played out. I loved reading the triumph and victory you had using logic.
Do you have numbers? Texting or calling when logic is gone and addicted emotion takes over....you are going to need to reach out.
PM me if you would like my number. I give it out to support those that truly and willingly work for freedom from vice.
Stay in the good fight. Once you get it out of your system and beat the triggers. You will always be an addict. However, your focus, concentration and work will be so much better than with dip.
I know from experience. Life is better with the burden of posting roll, keeping your word and repeating vs. sticking poison between your cheek and gum.
Welcome to your walk to freedom from vice. Embrace the suck so you never post a day 1 again.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuos in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Damn man you have to start over.... I feel sorry for you!!! For me never again, not for any reason...I sent you my number.... Try reaching out next time you want to shit on your group....Traffic really for traffic?
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The next time that you go on a long drive grab some seeds, gum, or fake chew. You cant run away from triggers, especially when one of the triggers is driving a car, so you have to plan ahead and be ready. The fake chew worked great for me when I was working to re-wire my brain and disassociating dipping with things like driving, gaming, watching tv, etc. Over time my brain realized that there was no buzz or "fix" provided by the fake chew, so I literally just lost interest in it. Now, just over 100 days later, a piece of gum every now and then is all i need.
Another suggestion: read this site to keep your mind occupied. I would spend and houror two on here during my first month or so. I still spend quite a bit of time on here each night. I dont post a whole lot, I mostly read. It keeps my mine of dip and reading the other success and failure stories helps ro keep me going.
Sent from iPad. Excuse the typos.
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So answer me this.
How is it that you could cave while stuck in traffic? Did you take the time to remove yourself from said traffic or did you just happen to have a safety can?
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So answer me this.
How is it that you could cave while stuck in traffic? Did you take the time to remove yourself from said traffic or did you just happen to have a safety can?
I am sure it magically appeared from the dip fairy who came to give his weak ass a hug. It's hard to quit something when the thing you surround yourself with the stuff you are supposed to be quitting.
I question your seriousness about quitting.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Damn man you have to start over.... I feel sorry for you!!! For me never again, not for any reason...I sent you my number.... Try reaching out next time you want to shit on your group....Traffic really for traffic?
What kind of weak ass shit is this? :angry:
You sir, are full of shit. Here's what I think happened. You went two weeks and felt good about yourself. You knew you were going to be in the car a while yesterday, you bought a can, and waited for the opportunity to 'reward yourself' for your two weeks.
You planned the whole fucking thing.
And I don't believe there is one ounce of sincerity in your confession, or your resolve to kick this shit.
I smell BS addict talk all through your little story.
Get real or get the fuck out.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Damn man you have to start over.... I feel sorry for you!!! For me never again, not for any reason...I sent you my number.... Try reaching out next time you want to shit on your group....Traffic really for traffic?
What kind of weak ass shit is this? :angry:
You sir, are full of shit. Here's what I think happened. You went two weeks and felt good about yourself. You knew you were going to be in the car a while yesterday, you bought a can, and waited for the opportunity to 'reward yourself' for your two weeks.
You planned the whole fucking thing.
And I don't believe there is one ounce of sincerity in your confession, or your resolve to kick this shit.
I smell BS addict talk all through your little story.
Get real or get the fuck out.
Road rage/traffic/driving is a trigger for all of us. Thats a weak excuse
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Were you driving with a tin in the car? or did you jump from hood to hood in bumper to bumper traffic until you landed at a C-Store? Either way its fucking WEAK!!! I'm sure once you loaded your lip the traffic parted like the red sea too.
This one grinds me because I drive a lot for work. I had panic attacks while driving, I though I forgot how to breathe and almost passed out while driving, I texted Wedge when I wanted to cave once while driving (he texted me out of it), I broke the arm rest on the passenger seat while driving because i was so full of rage. I went through a lot of shit while driving but not once did I take the pussy way out and cave.
Get your ass in the March group and get your shit together!!!! We're here to help. Use us!!!!!!
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Were you driving with a tin in the car? or did you jump from hood to hood in bumper to bumper traffic until you landed at a C-Store? Either way its fucking WEAK!!! I'm sure once you loaded your lip the traffic parted like the red sea too.
This one grinds me because I drive a lot for work. I had panic attacks while driving, I though I forgot how to breathe and almost passed out while driving, I texted Wedge when I wanted to cave once while driving (he texted me out of it), I broke the arm rest on the passenger seat while driving because i was so full of rage. I went through a lot of shit while driving but not once did I take the pussy way out and cave.
Get your ass in the March group and get your shit together!!!! We're here to help. Use us!!!!!!
'clap' (diesel was chewing on the steering wheel too! ). Doc reach around in your pants and see if you can find some nuts.
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The common denominator of caving - NOT POSTING ROLL Shit people. This program isn't rocket science or brain surgery. It is a simple plan.
Post roll and promise to be quit for that day. Your promise is to your group. If you have triggers or struggle, you can't cave unless you call two of your quit brothers and ask them for permission to cave. (That small action will give you enough pause not to be impulsive on your addiction)
Just keep your word. If you make it past that day and wake up tomorrow. Simply repeat.
Seriously, how hard is it to post roll people? If you had a nic fit, you would do anything to get a dip. Use that same effort and energy in your quit. Turn your nic fits into quit fits and win.
It is truly amazing to be free from the chains of addiction. 259 days in a row that I have quit and posted roll. Coincidence?
I thought I was weak before KTC. I wasn't I just didn't know how to quit. This is simple. The battles are hard and real but the program is simple. Do it and follow it with exactness and you can't fail.
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I feel sorry for you!!!
Don't feel sorry for him! I don't. I hope it sucks even more this time. I hope those first few days are devastating in every way imaginable. I hope he feels like shit every minute.
Maybe this time it will be enough to help him remember what he went through to get quit. Hopefully it will be so shitty he will never forget, so he will never repeat.
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Yo, I fucked up. I admitted it to myself and to you all. I realize what happened and have already taken measures to ensure I don't make the same mistake again. No, I didn't have a fucking "safety can." I don't know what else you all expect me to do. I've said my piece, I'm quit for today, and I have taken down numbers of fellow quitters in case the addict inside starts to rattle the cage. I can't go back in time and change my idiotic behavior; if any of us could, we wouldn't be here. I can only be better in the future. I am quit for today, and that is all that matters. Now lets leave the past where it belongs and get on with ourselves. No reason to wish further suffering on me; the shame of letting myself down is far greater than anything else. Anyway, that's that. I'm quit for today; everything else be damned.
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We send out life lines here everyday. Every once in a while we toss out enough steel cable to re-support the Mackinaw Bridge. That's what happened in here today. If you hang around long enough, you'll understand why.
Take note, grab on, and don't fucking let go.
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We send out life lines here everyday. Every once in a while we toss out enough steel cable to re-support the Mackinaw Bridge. That's what happened in here today. If you hang around long enough, you'll understand why.
Take note, grab on, and don't fucking let go.
Amen Red.
Hey doc, don't forget the past. It will remind you of what to never do again in the future.
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We send out life lines here everyday. Every once in a while we toss out enough steel cable to re-support the Mackinaw Bridge. That's what happened in here today. If you hang around long enough, you'll understand why.
Take note, grab on, and don't fucking let go.
Amen Red.
Hey doc, don't forget the past. It will remind you of what to never do again in the future.
Learn from the past.
Quit for today.
Fuck the future.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Do you want some hints on how to stay quit since your way seems to keep failing?
I'll give you hint: ask for help when you need it. Want to be quit.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Do you want some hints on how to stay quit since your way seems to keep failing?
I'll give you hint: ask for help when you need it. Want to be quit.
Addiction is a mufucker. Best get your mind strait Doc.
Hint #2: post roll er damned morning. Not some. Not a few. Not when u have time....er damned morning.
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Welp, I done fucked up. After 14 days of being nicotine free, I slipped up last night. I was about 9 hours into a 12 hour solo car ride and stuck in bad traffic. I didn't realize what a trigger road rage is for me. Anyway, I listened to the devious addict within and caved. It wasn't what my lying mind told me it would be and I felt ashamed instantly and threw that shit away. I am back to my quit and feel like a total asshole for caving, but I now know a huge trigger and will make sure that I am prepared in the future.
Conspicuous in its absence is a roll post yesterday. I don't believe in coincidences. Also conspicuous in its absence is a roll post today.
Are you going to get serious about this? We don't suffer fools well. _
Do I need to switch which thread I post role in?
Yes. You are now in March 2013. Only post roll there if you are committed to this. There is no acceptable reason to cave. None.
You also owe February an explanation.
Done. I am serious about this. I caved because I left myself alone with the addict within for too long. I will not make that mistake again.
Do you want some hints on how to stay quit since your way seems to keep failing?
I'll give you hint: ask for help when you need it. Want to be quit.
Addiction is a mufucker. Best get your mind strait Doc.
Hint #2: post roll er damned morning. Not some. Not a few. Not when u have time....er damned morning.
just happened to have a can in the car? bullshit-
When I finally quit I was on my knees crying like a baby to god to help me, because I had soooo many past failures. The next morning I found KTC and quit 10 days early. I now have a quit aura that can only be seen with dog glasses, it's with me always.. I got this way by holding myself accountable for my actions.. everyone deserves a second chance.. don't waste this one cause you could simply end up dead.. post roll, brush teeth, eat etc.. after awhile you won't have road rage anymore, but it'll take longer than 2 weeks.. peace
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Dear Web MD My name is "QuitDoc" cool name huh?
I am having an issue and I am too embarrassed to go to my doctor for help. I was wondering if you could help me out?
About 3 months ago I had two very very little round objects between my legs. Over the course of these last three months they have shriveled and have even disappeared back up into my pelvic area. What was an outie is more of an innie. It has also started to itch and feels good when I scratch it. Anyway it is getting bigger and and I hate to say it but I believe I could have a pussy. Could this be True? Is there anything I can do to reverse it? Could this thing get so big that people will call me a pussy?
Any help or comments on this matter would be appreciated?
Thanks
Sincerely
Vagina (AKA QUITDOC)
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Dear Web MD My name is "QuitDoc" cool name huh?
I am having an issue and I am too embarrassed to go to my doctor for help. I was wondering if you could help me out?
About 3 months ago I had two very very little round objects between my legs. Over the course of these last three months they have shriveled and have even disappeared back up into my pelvic area. What was an outie is more of an innie. It has also started to itch and feels good when I scratch it. Anyway it is getting bigger and and I hate to say it but I believe I could have a pussy. Could this be True? Is there anything I can do to reverse it? Could this thing get so big that people will call me a pussy?
Any help or comments on this matter would be appreciated?
Thanks
Sincerely
Vagina (AKA QUITDOC)
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