KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Jesse2337 on February 10, 2016, 11:42:00 AM
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IÂ’m sharing a poorly written and highly abbreviated version of my story to remind you long-timers that you are never safe from the dip:
After more than 15 years of a can-a-day dipping, I finally had a successful go at quitting on my 30th birthday. After many failed attempts, for whatever reason, this one stuck. My wife, who had long stopped taking my quits seriously, could even tell that something was different and that it was going to work. I used nicotine patches, but in retrospect, I donÂ’t know how necessary they were. I was a new dad, had a job not conducive to the habit, and was just flat-out sick of it. The stars aligned and it worked out fine.
Jump ahead more than six years later. I’m watching a Chiefs game with the same buddies I have since high school. One of them still chews, so just for “old time’s sake,” I bummed a dip from him. It didn’t taste good, it didn’t give me a rush, it didn’t satisfy any lurking craving (or so I thought) at all. So after about 10 minutes, I spit it out.
A week after that, the same situation repeated itself. No big deal. But by this time, I was meeting up with him to watch Wichita State basketball games at least once a week as well. I took a dip here and there, but never felt the need to have my own can or do it outside of these social situations.
Then, we all went to Chiefs game in KC. I knew IÂ’d be away from my wife and having some beers, so to avoid stealing any more chew from my buddy, I bought my own can. You know, just for the weekend.
I got home on a Sunday night with most of the first layer of skin from the inside of my gums peeling off. About halfway through work on Monday, I decided I’d run to the convenient store and get another can. I figured, “I’ve quit once, no problem doing it again.” Yeah, right.
And there it is. I managed to get wrapped up in this shit twice! The same mistakes I cursed myself for making as an adolescent were repeated when I was 36! That is unbelievably humiliating.
After a six year hiatus, IÂ’m 38 and have been back on the snuff for over two years now. IÂ’ve made several half-ass attempts to quit, and today marks the start of another one. I donÂ’t have the same feeling of confidence as I did when I quit last time, so IÂ’m skeptical of myself, which, I know is not the best place to start. But I've attempted it enough recently to know to avoid my main mental trap: "I've gone all day... I'll get a can and just cut way down." And then, of course, after about two days of "cutting way down," I'm back to operating with a dip constantly.
IÂ’m tired of hiding it from my kids, being embarrassed about my habit amid civilized company, sick of freaking out every time I get a small sore anywhere in my mouth, and fed up with the cost. So, IÂ’m hanging on to that.
Wish me luck.
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Jesse, complacency got you. Plus a couple word choices.
"habit" -- NO! the word you need is ADDICTION. we are addicts, there is no cure, only our promise to get through today without nicotine. (it does get easier, hence the complacency leads to the incorrect belief that we can have "just one")
"luck" -- NO! the word you need is PROMISE. we promise ourselves, all the quitters here, our families, our co-workers that we will not use nicotine. That plus personal integrity put our quit under our control. Luck has nothing to do with it.
The thing you need is the accountability and brotherhood of this site added to your own integrity. You get that by posting roll - your promise not to use nicotine for one day -- in the May 2016 Quit Group (you will reach 100 days quit in May). Exchange digits with these quitters, get to know them, build a support network for eachother. Repeat tomorrow morning.
Get your mind straight about your addiction and the confidence in your quit will come.
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IÂ’m sharing a poorly written and highly abbreviated version of my story to remind you long-timers that you are never safe from the dip:
After more than 15 years of a can-a-day dipping, I finally had a successful go at quitting on my 30th birthday. After many failed attempts, for whatever reason, this one stuck. My wife, who had long stopped taking my quits seriously, could even tell that something was different and that it was going to work. I used nicotine patches, but in retrospect, I donÂ’t know how necessary they were. I was a new dad, had a job not conducive to the habit, and was just flat-out sick of it. The stars aligned and it worked out fine.
Jump ahead more than six years later. I’m watching a Chiefs game with the same buddies I have since high school. One of them still chews, so just for “old time’s sake,” I bummed a dip from him. It didn’t taste good, it didn’t give me a rush, it didn’t satisfy any lurking craving (or so I thought) at all. So after about 10 minutes, I spit it out.
A week after that, the same situation repeated itself. No big deal. But by this time, I was meeting up with him to watch Wichita State basketball games at least once a week as well. I took a dip here and there, but never felt the need to have my own can or do it outside of these social situations.
Then, we all went to Chiefs game in KC. I knew IÂ’d be away from my wife and having some beers, so to avoid stealing any more chew from my buddy, I bought my own can. You know, just for the weekend.
I got home on a Sunday night with most of the first layer of skin from the inside of my gums peeling off. About halfway through work on Monday, I decided I’d run to the convenient store and get another can. I figured, “I’ve quit once, no problem doing it again.” Yeah, right.
And there it is. I managed to get wrapped up in this shit twice! The same mistakes I cursed myself for making as an adolescent were repeated when I was 36! That is unbelievably humiliating.
After a six year hiatus, IÂ’m 38 and have been back on the snuff for over two years now. IÂ’ve made several half-ass attempts to quit, and today marks the start of another one. I donÂ’t have the same feeling of confidence as I did when I quit last time, so IÂ’m skeptical of myself, which, I know is not the best place to start. But I've attempted it enough recently to know to avoid my main mental trap: "I've gone all day... I'll get a can and just cut way down." And then, of course, after about two days of "cutting way down," I'm back to operating with a dip constantly.
IÂ’m tired of hiding it from my kids, being embarrassed about my habit amid civilized company, sick of freaking out every time I get a small sore anywhere in my mouth, and fed up with the cost. So, IÂ’m hanging on to that.
Wish me luck.
FUCK LUCK!
You do not need luck, you need to decide once and for all that you are invested 100% in your quit. I hope you learn how to make it this time but let me warn you of something, if you never change your life you will always leave a door open to addiction. I hope something really does change in you this time and you see that you never quit before you just put addiction on pause.
You were not accountable for your actions and you decisions and you let others impact your quit. I would issue a stern warning to any friends that you are quit and never ever let them hand you a tin again. Then for you, well you need to nut up and decide once and for all that you are done.
Now get your ass over to the roll call sheet and learn accountability one day at a time.
Go to Introductions, and learn how to do it, and why we do it, then go find your group and post Day 1 on that sheet. Feel free to fuck up roll as many times as you would like, it is way better than fuckign up your life again.
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IÂ’m sharing a poorly written and highly abbreviated version of my story to remind you long-timers that you are never safe from the dip:
After more than 15 years of a can-a-day dipping, I finally had a successful go at quitting on my 30th birthday. After many failed attempts, for whatever reason, this one stuck. My wife, who had long stopped taking my quits seriously, could even tell that something was different and that it was going to work. I used nicotine patches, but in retrospect, I donÂ’t know how necessary they were. I was a new dad, had a job not conducive to the habit, and was just flat-out sick of it. The stars aligned and it worked out fine.
Jump ahead more than six years later. I’m watching a Chiefs game with the same buddies I have since high school. One of them still chews, so just for “old time’s sake,” I bummed a dip from him. It didn’t taste good, it didn’t give me a rush, it didn’t satisfy any lurking craving (or so I thought) at all. So after about 10 minutes, I spit it out.
A week after that, the same situation repeated itself. No big deal. But by this time, I was meeting up with him to watch Wichita State basketball games at least once a week as well. I took a dip here and there, but never felt the need to have my own can or do it outside of these social situations.
Then, we all went to Chiefs game in KC. I knew IÂ’d be away from my wife and having some beers, so to avoid stealing any more chew from my buddy, I bought my own can. You know, just for the weekend.
I got home on a Sunday night with most of the first layer of skin from the inside of my gums peeling off. About halfway through work on Monday, I decided I’d run to the convenient store and get another can. I figured, “I’ve quit once, no problem doing it again.” Yeah, right.
And there it is. I managed to get wrapped up in this shit twice! The same mistakes I cursed myself for making as an adolescent were repeated when I was 36! That is unbelievably humiliating.
After a six year hiatus, IÂ’m 38 and have been back on the snuff for over two years now. IÂ’ve made several half-ass attempts to quit, and today marks the start of another one. I donÂ’t have the same feeling of confidence as I did when I quit last time, so IÂ’m skeptical of myself, which, I know is not the best place to start. But I've attempted it enough recently to know to avoid my main mental trap: "I've gone all day... I'll get a can and just cut way down." And then, of course, after about two days of "cutting way down," I'm back to operating with a dip constantly.
IÂ’m tired of hiding it from my kids, being embarrassed about my habit amid civilized company, sick of freaking out every time I get a small sore anywhere in my mouth, and fed up with the cost. So, IÂ’m hanging on to that.
Wish me luck.
Hey man, good LUCK...because that's what it's going to take this time. Not.
You want to quit, your ass needs to be on fire and you just need to do it. Stop talking and get after it.
https://youtu.be/TU7Y6HiLXto (https://youtu.be/TU7Y6HiLXto)
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IÂ’m sharing a poorly written and highly abbreviated version of my story to remind you long-timers that you are never safe from the dip:
After more than 15 years of a can-a-day dipping, I finally had a successful go at quitting on my 30th birthday. After many failed attempts, for whatever reason, this one stuck. My wife, who had long stopped taking my quits seriously, could even tell that something was different and that it was going to work. I used nicotine patches, but in retrospect, I donÂ’t know how necessary they were. I was a new dad, had a job not conducive to the habit, and was just flat-out sick of it. The stars aligned and it worked out fine.
Jump ahead more than six years later. I’m watching a Chiefs game with the same buddies I have since high school. One of them still chews, so just for “old time’s sake,” I bummed a dip from him. It didn’t taste good, it didn’t give me a rush, it didn’t satisfy any lurking craving (or so I thought) at all. So after about 10 minutes, I spit it out.
A week after that, the same situation repeated itself. No big deal. But by this time, I was meeting up with him to watch Wichita State basketball games at least once a week as well. I took a dip here and there, but never felt the need to have my own can or do it outside of these social situations.
Then, we all went to Chiefs game in KC. I knew IÂ’d be away from my wife and having some beers, so to avoid stealing any more chew from my buddy, I bought my own can. You know, just for the weekend.
I got home on a Sunday night with most of the first layer of skin from the inside of my gums peeling off. About halfway through work on Monday, I decided I’d run to the convenient store and get another can. I figured, “I’ve quit once, no problem doing it again.” Yeah, right.
And there it is. I managed to get wrapped up in this shit twice! The same mistakes I cursed myself for making as an adolescent were repeated when I was 36! That is unbelievably humiliating.
After a six year hiatus, IÂ’m 38 and have been back on the snuff for over two years now. IÂ’ve made several half-ass attempts to quit, and today marks the start of another one. I donÂ’t have the same feeling of confidence as I did when I quit last time, so IÂ’m skeptical of myself, which, I know is not the best place to start. But I've attempted it enough recently to know to avoid my main mental trap: "I've gone all day... I'll get a can and just cut way down." And then, of course, after about two days of "cutting way down," I'm back to operating with a dip constantly.
IÂ’m tired of hiding it from my kids, being embarrassed about my habit amid civilized company, sick of freaking out every time I get a small sore anywhere in my mouth, and fed up with the cost. So, IÂ’m hanging on to that.
Wish me luck.
Hey man, good LUCK...because that's what it's going to take this time. Not.
You want to quit, your ass needs to be on fire and you just need to do it. Stop talking and get after it.
https://youtu.be/TU7Y6HiLXto (https://youtu.be/TU7Y6HiLXto)
Nice to see ya, D! You think this guy'll be back?
'fireman'
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Bumping an introduction that newer folks and people thinking about leaving might find helpful...
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Bumping an introduction that newer folks and people thinking about leaving might find helpful...
Had this fella found KTC he would have had his tool belt filled with tools and the knowledge to understand what it takes to be quit. What he lacked was brotherhood and accountability as well as knowing that as an addict, we can never have "just one" again.