KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: txblues on January 30, 2011, 03:34:00 PM
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Hey guys, on day 2 and just did my first roll call. I've dipped steady for 15 years, last 4 years on cope pouches. I know they are just as bad but they "felt" like they were safer.
I was just at a sales conference last week, not sleeping much, stressed out and not dipping as normal (being in meetings all day) then suddenly felt some bumps on the gum. They now look like little white ulcerations and just slightly painful - not getting bigger but not gone by day 2.
This has NEVER happened in all my years of dipping - I've always kept everything in check, clean, nice non-dipper smile style. This scared me straight but I'm freaking out wondering if I'm insane that my brain keeps thinking this is the early signs of the big C, that I could become disfigured and live shamed in front of my beautiful new wife who I've hidden this from all along. She's caught me occasionally and I've always 'promised' I'd not do it again - but I always continued to hide it well ---- never before until now have I been ready to quit for MYSELF - prompted in large part to reading this site back to front and reading about some of the guys who have set some great examples (oh also the hilarious 100 best things about quitting article - I was literally rolling out of my chair).....
Its sad I had to get some blisters in the mouth to push me to this point but i am THANKFUL I did so I could do the research, get on this site, quit bullshitting myself and thinking I am invincible and do the right thing.
If anyone can ease my mind about these gum ulcers before I get to the dentists ASAP tomorrow please do my mind is running wild with this shit especially without my normal adult security blanket, aka the stupid dip pouches!!! Thanks for this site!!!!
Thanks and God Bless,
Al
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Welcome.
Go here...
http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/symptoms.asp)
Then check your (Inbox 1) upper right corner of your screen.
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Welcome Al! Look forward to seeing you at roll call. What part of Texas you from?
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Al, I could have wrote that introduction a few months ago. Same length of use, same brand, somehow convincing myself that pouches were "safer". I too freaked out when some sores arose on my tongue. Here I sit at day 45 and my mouth is finally getting back to normal. I went as far to have a visit with an ENT who checked out some of the sores. This was pure paranoia as everything was always pretty much gone or felt much better in the 2 week time frame. Relax, quit, stay quit, post roll daily, you will look back at this time as a moment of paranoia and terror and NEVER forget how you felt at that moment. It surely will help you stay quit, it helps me stay quit. Good luck, hang in there and PM me if there is anything I can help you with.
David
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Hope to see you posting roll with the May fogtards. Believe me, this site and the folks in it will help you quit so you can enjoy your life with the new Mrs. tx. Need any help PM me and help is on the way.
And congrats, day 2 takes balls to get through. Keep up the quit.
tarp
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Great choice, Txblues and Welcome. If those "spots" don't get better soon, go have them looked at. Early detection is the best way to fight the big C.
Everyone is probably right...those spots are most likely nothing more a cold sweat inducing, adrelanine releasing, weak kneed, running kick to the nuts reminder that you really should stop dipping.
Embrace the suck. Read all you can on this site. Post everyday and keep your word. You can do it.
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Welcome Blue
Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out.
You can never go back for surely if you do, the control your addiction has over you will be magnified tenfold. No, you walk out of that office and pray to whatever you call God and thank Him for His mercy. Then, look in the mirror and tell your demons to "Fuck Off!".
Roll Call is the key.
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Welcome Blue
Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out.
You can never go back for surely if you do, the control your addiction has over you will be magnified tenfold. No, you walk out of that office and pray to whatever you call God and thank Him for His mercy. Then, look in the mirror and tell your demons to "Fuck Off!".Â
Roll Call is the key.
Thanks to all you guys for reaching out, giving me your similar stories am making me feel welcome. This has made the first few days (physically and psychologically) much more bearable.
I will grad with the May 11 folks come hell or high water and with your help. Thanks again. PS Hootie I'm in Austin TX.
Later guys
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you make roll call yet?
if not, that needs to be post #4
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Guys I found and joined KTC exactly 3 days ago b/c of some gum blisters that I've never seen before on my dip side. I was literally in a living hell each morning thinking about what this could/would be and mean for me down the road.
I found this site and a few of you reached out and gave me some great words of comfort during my initial quit period and wait time to go and see the dentist - which was today. PROGNOSIS? A typical cold sore but on the inside of the mouth.
I have to thank all of you guys who replied, emailed and have watched me because had you NOT and had I not found this site, I would have easily went 2 blocks over where there is a fresh batch of cope product and bought in...
LOOT put it well in a reply to my original post which carried me through: "Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out."
You're right LOOT, I took that motherfucker by the throat, choked it out and kicked its ass to the curb. Without these words and ya'lls support, I wouldn't have thought twice about a fresh cope reload 5 minutes up the street after getting cleared by the doc.
thanks ya'll and peace.
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Guys I found and joined KTC exactly 3 days ago b/c of some gum blisters that I've never seen before on my dip side. I was literally in a living hell each morning thinking about what this could/would be and mean for me down the road.
I found this site and a few of you reached out and gave me some great words of comfort during my initial quit period and wait time to go and see the dentist - which was today. PROGNOSIS? A typical cold sore but on the inside of the mouth.
I have to thank all of you guys who replied, emailed and have watched me because had you NOT and had I not found this site, I would have easily went 2 blocks over where there is a fresh batch of cope product and bought in...
LOOT put it well in a reply to my original post which carried me through: "Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out."
You're right LOOT, I took that motherfucker by the throat, choked it out and kicked its ass to the curb. Without these words and ya'lls support, I wouldn't have thought twice about a fresh cope reload 5 minutes up the street after getting cleared by the doc.
thanks ya'll and peace.
Glad you were able to fight back the craves after the dentist visit. I like your confidence, but you simply won a battle today. The nic bitch has no intention of letting you win the war. You need to remain vigilant and remain involved in this site and posting roll every day. As you will note from reading this site, there are many people who have stopped dipping for long periods of time, yet caved and went right back to the can. Almost every such story I've read so far falls into one of the following categories:
1. I stopped visiting this site and posting roll; and
2. I got drunk and took a dip from my buddy.
Stay vigilant. Stay quit. Welcome and I'm glad to be quit with you.
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Guys I found and joined KTC exactly 3 days ago b/c of some gum blisters that I've never seen before on my dip side. I was literally in a living hell each morning thinking about what this could/would be and mean for me down the road.
I found this site and a few of you reached out and gave me some great words of comfort during my initial quit period and wait time to go and see the dentist - which was today. PROGNOSIS? A typical cold sore but on the inside of the mouth.
I have to thank all of you guys who replied, emailed and have watched me because had you NOT and had I not found this site, I would have easily went 2 blocks over where there is a fresh batch of cope product and bought in...
LOOT put it well in a reply to my original post which carried me through: "Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out."
You're right LOOT, I took that motherfucker by the throat, choked it out and kicked its ass to the curb. Without these words and ya'lls support, I wouldn't have thought twice about a fresh cope reload 5 minutes up the street after getting cleared by the doc.
thanks ya'll and peace.
Glad you were able to fight back the craves after the dentist visit. I like your confidence, but you simply won a battle today. The nic bitch has no intention of letting you win the war. You need to remain vigilant and remain involved in this site and posting roll every day. As you will note from reading this site, there are many people who have stopped dipping for long periods of time, yet caved and went right back to the can. Almost every such story I've read so far falls into one of the following categories:
1. I stopped visiting this site and posting roll; and
2. I got drunk and took a dip from my buddy.
Stay vigilant. Stay quit. Welcome and I'm glad to be quit with you.
That's right. Keep your quit in the forefront every day. Make it a priority. Never take your success for granted. Remember that scare and remember the strength you feel right now.
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Once, LOOT had a persistent sore throat. LOOT quit dipping. Several months went by.
Scared to death, LOOT said a prayer promising to be clean forever with a clean bill of health. Within 5 minutes of leaving the ENT...LOOT was loading up some cope. LOOT gets it. LOOT been there.
Now, here is what you've done. You've built accountability, more than you realize. You post roll everyday in your May 11 group. You are also welcome to post in Sept 05 with LOOT if you want an additional level of accountability. However, before you touch Sept 05 take a few minutes to study it. That Roll Call is mine. IT is almost 6 years in the making. It is populated by some of the quittingest motherfuckers known to man. It is...The Church of LOOT. A respite from the storm. A place of great reverence.
Do not touch my Roll Call unless you are in for the long haul. LOOT typically won't ask for more than a One Day At A Time approach, however, in this instance, your word will be to post on my Roll everyday, for a minimum of 100 days. LOOT promises to check on you daily. If you need anything, you will have LOOT at your disposal.
You will be accountable to your May brothers first....LOOT second....and ultimately QSX as a whole.
Your call cupcake.
Congrats on the quit. Take advantage of the site and all it offers.
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Tx, glad to hear the prognosis. Best thing you can do is remember how you felt when you didn't know what was wrong. This helps me immensly when I have a craving. I can tell you that I sit here today 7 weeks and almost half way to the HOF and it's not nearly as bad as it was at 0-20 days. It will get easier, I still think about it but it passes very quickly now like within a minute or so.
When my mind tries to convince me that I have come so far and I can handle just one I think back to how I felt when the ENT was searching my mouth and talking about a biopsy. Best motivator ever!! Stay strong my friend.
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"remember how you felt when you didn't know..." Well said, Grimmace!
I would encourage you to remember everything...going through the suck, blowing your money on poisoin, sneaking aroung and lying, keeping nasty spit cups around...the life of a user. Use those memories as additional motivation. Stay strong, stay quit.
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Guys I found and joined KTC exactly 3 days ago b/c of some gum blisters that I've never seen before on my dip side. I was literally in a living hell each morning thinking about what this could/would be and mean for me down the road.
I found this site and a few of you reached out and gave me some great words of comfort during my initial quit period and wait time to go and see the dentist - which was today. PROGNOSIS? A typical cold sore but on the inside of the mouth.
I have to thank all of you guys who replied, emailed and have watched me because had you NOT and had I not found this site, I would have easily went 2 blocks over where there is a fresh batch of cope product and bought in...
LOOT put it well in a reply to my original post which carried me through: "Those spots are harmless. Scary, but harmless. With that said, when you leave the dentist you will be tempted to return to your wicked ways. A clean bill of health is not a "green light". Don't even think about it. Seize the day. Grab the motherfucker by the throat and choke it out."
You're right LOOT, I took that motherfucker by the throat, choked it out and kicked its ass to the curb. Without these words and ya'lls support, I wouldn't have thought twice about a fresh cope reload 5 minutes up the street after getting cleared by the doc.
thanks ya'll and peace.
Glad you were able to fight back the craves after the dentist visit. I like your confidence, but you simply won a battle today. The nic bitch has no intention of letting you win the war. You need to remain vigilant and remain involved in this site and posting roll every day. As you will note from reading this site, there are many people who have stopped dipping for long periods of time, yet caved and went right back to the can. Almost every such story I've read so far falls into one of the following categories:
1. I stopped visiting this site and posting roll; and
2. I got drunk and took a dip from my buddy.
Stay vigilant. Stay quit. Welcome and I'm glad to be quit with you.
That's right. Keep your quit in the forefront every day. Make it a priority. Never take your success for granted. Remember that scare and remember the strength you feel right now.
Your brothers are your strenght untill you realize it was really in you all along!
P.S Make sure you keep your foot on the bitches throat everyday. She can be like a weed. Sneaky she is, but she can be beaten into submission!