KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: CoachDoc on March 02, 2010, 11:18:00 PM
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I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
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I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
-
I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
Congrats on your quit but after reading your post I can tell you NEED the information on this site more than you know right now. Keep reading. Plan to spend a couple of hours of the next few days reading everything you can on this site. There is more motivation in here than you can imagine.
Dan's right - you need a quit plan....a plan for what you do when the cravings are fuckin' intense and you feel like you're going to cave. Here's one that a guy (Chewie) sent me that I found to be excellent:
chewie's 3 step cave plan
Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.
step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet. Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.
step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.
step 3: Call each of the 100+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.
P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
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I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
Congrats on your quit but after reading your post I can tell you NEED the information on this site more than you know right now. Keep reading. Plan to spend a couple of hours of the next few days reading everything you can on this site. There is more motivation in here than you can imagine.
Dan's right - you need a quit plan....a plan for what you do when the cravings are fuckin' intense and you feel like you're going to cave. Here's one that a guy (Chewie) sent me that I found to be excellent:
chewie's 3 step cave plan
Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.
step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet. Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.
step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.
step 3: Call each of the 100+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.
P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Coach,
If I can make a suggestion. Make this quit about YOU and ONLY YOU. It is time to step up and own this quit.
If you are quitting for someone else, your chances of true success are Slim....
And Slim just left town.
You can do this!
-
I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
Congrats on your quit but after reading your post I can tell you NEED the information on this site more than you know right now. Keep reading. Plan to spend a couple of hours of the next few days reading everything you can on this site. There is more motivation in here than you can imagine.
Dan's right - you need a quit plan....a plan for what you do when the cravings are fuckin' intense and you feel like you're going to cave. Here's one that a guy (Chewie) sent me that I found to be excellent:
chewie's 3 step cave plan
Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.
step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet. Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.
step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.
step 3: Call each of the 100+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.
P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Coach,
If I can make a suggestion. Make this quit about YOU and ONLY YOU. It is time to step up and own this quit.
If you are quitting for someone else, your chances of true success are Slim....
And Slim just left town.
You can do this!
I agree Coach, do it for YOU. It is kind of hard to take a revenge dip against yourself.
My quit was soo much NOT for my wife that I did not even tell her I quit for 20 days. I think I kind of pissed her off cuz I was spending ALL my time with her...she was like "go the fuck downstairs and leave me alone"
-
I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
Congrats on your quit but after reading your post I can tell you NEED the information on this site more than you know right now. Keep reading. Plan to spend a couple of hours of the next few days reading everything you can on this site. There is more motivation in here than you can imagine.
Dan's right - you need a quit plan....a plan for what you do when the cravings are fuckin' intense and you feel like you're going to cave. Here's one that a guy (Chewie) sent me that I found to be excellent:
chewie's 3 step cave plan
Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.
step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet. Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.
step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.
step 3: Call each of the 100+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.
P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Coach,
If I can make a suggestion. Make this quit about YOU and ONLY YOU. It is time to step up and own this quit.
If you are quitting for someone else, your chances of true success are Slim....
And Slim just left town.
You can do this!
I agree Coach, do it for YOU. It is kind of hard to take a revenge dip against yourself.
My quit was soo much NOT for my wife that I did not even tell her I quit for 20 days. I think I kind of pissed her off cuz I was spending ALL my time with her...she was like "go the fuck downstairs and leave me alone"
Print this and carry it with you for at least the next 100 days. Then you must read it, sign it, and give copies to your family before you cave.
Contract to Give Up (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/contract.asp)
-
I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
Congrats on a great decision! You are through the physical part, now comes the mental fuck. Stay close to this site and you will find success. If you want it, you will do it. Start developing a quit plan and make the committment to yourself to quit this nasty addicition. Quitting is not easy and in my opinion is much easier with the support of others. You will find lots of support here.
Again congrats on the decision and let me know if you need anything.
Congrats on your quit but after reading your post I can tell you NEED the information on this site more than you know right now. Keep reading. Plan to spend a couple of hours of the next few days reading everything you can on this site. There is more motivation in here than you can imagine.
Dan's right - you need a quit plan....a plan for what you do when the cravings are fuckin' intense and you feel like you're going to cave. Here's one that a guy (Chewie) sent me that I found to be excellent:
chewie's 3 step cave plan
Feel free to copy and modify to fit your needs.
step 1: Take picture of son out of wallet. Look my son in the face and tell him that I love dip more than I love him.
step 2: Take out KillTheCan.org business card, read the words and REALIZE that I'm letting each and every one of YOU down.
step 3: Call each of the 100+ KillTheCan.org phone numbers that I've got in my phone and get PERMISSION from each and every person to have a dip.
P.S.: I've never had to go past step 1
Coach,
If I can make a suggestion. Make this quit about YOU and ONLY YOU. It is time to step up and own this quit.
If you are quitting for someone else, your chances of true success are Slim....
And Slim just left town.
You can do this!
I agree Coach, do it for YOU. It is kind of hard to take a revenge dip against yourself.
My quit was soo much NOT for my wife that I did not even tell her I quit for 20 days. I think I kind of pissed her off cuz I was spending ALL my time with her...she was like "go the fuck downstairs and leave me alone"
Print this and carry it with you for at least the next 100 days. Then you must read it, sign it, and give copies to your family before you cave.
Contract to Give Up (http://www.killthecan.org/facts/contract.asp)
dam good advice men. does ole mule proud to see such pearls of quittin wisdom.
well done.
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Day 85 -
I am sitting in th ER writing this after reading back over my intorduction. I remember the first time I looked at the responses I got - especially the one from Sensei telling me to make this quit about me. I thought, "What the fuck? How can making this about doing it for my wife be a bad thing?" After all, it was her asking me to move out that made me realize how low I had sunk...
Dipping was a symptom of the problem. The problem was selfishness. I wanted my dip. I wanted my time to dip. I wanted my money to buy my dip. And it was my addiction to nicotine that made me willing to lie, cheat and steal to get my fix. I was willing for a long time to sacrifice my family - wife and kids - for my addiction.
Patients coming in...gotta finish this later...hehe...real life calls
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Day 85 -
I am sitting in th ER writing this after reading back over my intorduction. I remember the first time I looked at the responses I got - especially the one from Sensei telling me to make this quit about me. I thought, "What the fuck? How can making this about doing it for my wife be a bad thing?" After all, it was her asking me to move out that made me realize how low I had sunk...
Dipping was a symptom of the problem. The problem was selfishness. I wanted my dip. I wanted my time to dip. I wanted my money to buy my dip. And it was my addiction to nicotine that made me willing to lie, cheat and steal to get my fix. I was willing for a long time to sacrifice my family - wife and kids - for my addiction.
Patients coming in...gotta finish this later...hehe...real life calls
I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of the story.........
'Popcorn'
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Day 85 -
I am sitting in th ER writing this after reading back over my intorduction. I remember the first time I looked at the responses I got - especially the one from Sensei telling me to make this quit about me. I thought, "What the fuck? How can making this about doing it for my wife be a bad thing?" After all, it was her asking me to move out that made me realize how low I had sunk...
Dipping was a symptom of the problem. The problem was selfishness. I wanted my dip. I wanted my time to dip. I wanted my money to buy my dip. And it was my addiction to nicotine that made me willing to lie, cheat and steal to get my fix. I was willing for a long time to sacrifice my family - wife and kids - for my addiction.
Patients coming in...gotta finish this later...hehe...real life calls
I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of the story.........
'Popcorn'
Thanks for writing this Doc...I thought I was the only one who lied to their wife about dipping...money...where I was....where I was going....other women...
I guess we're all selfish and have to be selfish in our quits. I know that I've been honest for 67 days with myself and my wife and it's made the difference.
I could have written this post...except for the gay male ER nurse part of course...
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Day 86
Just before noon, back in the ER at work again. Where was I?
My addiction. Selfishness. Like many of the other quitters on here, I told my wife before we got married that I would quit. Almost 3 years later, when my first son was born, I again lied and said I would quit. I cannot even count the number of times I lied about quitting. And like most of you, I lied to my family AND to MYSELF. I couldn't even admit to myself that I was not capable of quitting. To me, it was always my choice to keep dipping...even if it was just one more time. I can't even remember how many nearly full cans I threw out the window on the drive home between midnight and 0100, telling myself that I was going to quit and the one in my lip right then was the last. Of course, I just stopped on the way to work the next day and bought a new can...and everything was fine because it was my choice...and I'd quit before I medically needed to.
Of course, addict mentality burrows deep into our minds and pervades our actions relating to everything we do...in other words, commen sense goes out the window. In my mind, the answer to my wife asking me to move out was to stop being selfish - she felt (feels) I did not (do not) take care of her/her needs emotionally. That's the kiss of death...especially when you are married to a marriage and family therapist.
So, I thought, quitting...REALLY quitting....would show her how much she meant to me and that I planned on being around to take care of her and my boys. I mean, that would show her that I was putting her needs above my own, right? That was a good thing, right? Well, imagine my fogged confusion when Sensei said, "Um....quit for yourself...nobody else." WTF? I figured, "Whatever. I'll nod, say OK and keep doing what I am doing and believing what I believe."
Around day 60-65 things started to make a bit more sense. Not realy because of anything specific I learned on this site, but more from the fact that my wife has continued to be distant and although I am still living in the house and sleeping in my bedroom, it has been more a roommate environment than marriage. The realization hit that if this quit was about my wife, I might as well say, "Forget it," and stick a big pinch of Cope in. Luckily for me, somewhere between my first post and this point I had obviously subconsciously come to the conclusion that this quit was mine and it was for and about me...selfish, yes. Essential? Absolutely.
I think it was about then I commented that I didn't know which was harder, keeping a marriage or quitting dip. The marriage is harder. And I realized that there was not a single thing dipping would do to make my other problems easier or better. I had said that I knew that this quit was THE QUIT...it was the real thing. At day 86, I can tell you that is still the case. Even after seeing vets whose member # is in the 100s cave, I am confident....I know that I cannot do this without holding myself accountable to the site...I cannot leave here and do this on my own...more importantly, I WON'T even attempt to leave here and do it on my own. No matter what happens in my marriage, I am quit...this is about me, as selfish as it might sound. I come on here and spew all kinds of stuff...sometimes it sonds funny, sometimes I'm sure it might sound very self-righteous, sometimes I might sound like I am out to just bust peoples balls or, as one new member put it, impress the vets or look cool. Most of the time I say what I say because it makes me focus on what I need to do.
OK....train of thought has been interrupted so many times, can't even follow my own stuff...1330...took me over an hour and a half to write this....between patients, of course. See, so comitted to my quit, I'm working it at work!
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Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
What can I say except....BUMP!
-
I found this site when looking for alternatives to dipping. I've been dipping for the past 15-20 years and it has been a major factor in nearly ruining my marriage. I'd promised my wife and kids that I would quit, multiple times. I would hide the cans, lie to my wife and kids about dipping. I knew that my wife was hurt by the dipping so I tried to tell her what she wanted to hear and still keep the can. I wasn't willing to see tha the lies were more damaging than the dip itself. I have not had a dip of Cope since Thursday, Feb. 25, 2010. I know that this is THE quit. I have never gone more than 2 days without and the craving has been tough. I think that for me the true difficulty comes from not having something in my mouth, less the nicotine. Gum, mints and seeds have been helpful, especially if I cheek them. The first 2 days were very tough - trying to figure out how to buy a can and just hide it. I thought of how this would likely end my marriage and take me away from my 4 boys and the decision was made a lot easier (but still hard). I plan to post here regularly...need to read more of the site and figure out the role-call. Thanks to all of you here...
- Dan
I figure at 155 days I needed to reflect upon this first introduction...and point out a few things I have learned in order to maybe help other new quitters.
A lot is said about the fear of cancer...people see the pictures of jaws sliced open for removal of tissue, see the scars and deformities left to remind former users of the price they paid for their addiction...
There are other prices that this addiction can cost you. In my introduction, I talked about the lies "nearly ruining my marriage." People might say that the lies are not necessarily related to the addiction to nicotine, it might just be that I am a scumbag. Who knows, maybe that is the reason, but I kind of doubt that.
To update this, I am in the middle of moving out of my house into an apartment and preparing for separation/divorce. My wife has stated that above all, the most damaging thing in our 14.5 years of being married was the daily lies about dipping. Having hid it, told her that I would quit, telling our kids that I would quit...and not keeping my word.
Even though I have been quit for 155 days, the damage has already been done...and the trust has been eaten away over the years of use...of years of lies...just like cancer.
Does this type of thing happen to everyone? No. Not everyone that dips or smokes gets cancer, either. I am sure that many of you are saying, can't possibly happen to me...I know, I was one of those guys...after all, I figured that my wife being a marriage therapist, there was no way my marriage would fail. BUT it can...and the addict mentality is one of the main reasons...addict mentality will keep you willing to lie to yourself and others in order to keep your addiction.
This addiction is not simply about not dipping. For you to be HEALTHY, you have to get rid of the addict mentality...you have to see it for what it is. Don't let it destroy more than just your lip/jaw...
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CD-
I gotta believe good things are in your future brother. You might have made mistakes in the past but I will bet your spouse also has culpability. I do know that you are a fine quitter and firmly believe the universe will reward you for having HUGE balls and staying quit although much of your life feels like it is in the crapper right.
Stay the course,
MOA
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230 days ago I threw out all my cans of Cope and started down this road of quit. It hasn't been an easy trek, but it is one that is well worth the time and effort put into it. There have been some rough times during this journey, most which I could have certainly done something about to lessen how tough they were. What I am referring to is getting away from posting roll every day.
In my 230 days I've seen some of the most BAMF Quitters go back to a babbling fucking idiot as they cave and return to the fog-filled first few days of a baby-bird quit. Many of the vets that have caved give one reason as their primary punch in the gut - they stopped posting roll every day, they lost sight of how important this keystone event is to their quit.
I've seen it over and over....from vets, as well as new quitters...I've raked countless quitters over the coals for being spotty (at best) roll posters. All that being said, it didn't stop me from falling into the same trap...
10 weeks ago, I commenced a new single life, living in an apartment, having my kids every other weekend, coaching football and working....a very busy, hectic life...and one full of changes and adjustments to be made. I convinced myself that I really didn't have the time to post roll every morning...it took too much. I had plenty of time to chase after new women (I mean, I was single again, right?) but not to post roll. Then this one woman started talking to me quite a bit and she was getting pretty intense....yeah, the Nic Bitch started whispering in my ear...a lot. Telling me how, I'd been quit all this time, I'd really quit just to try and save my marriage, how since I wasn't postig roll every day I could get away with it and nobody would ever know...hell, I didn't even really need to go back to KTC...
I knew these were the games of the Nic Bitch...I'd seen them all before...seen them bring down proud quitters in the past. Thank God for the values the Marine Corps instilled in this ex Navy Corpsman...integrity is everything...I made a promise to each and every one of my former, current and future quit brothers and sisters that I would not cave and that I would be there for them. I did not cave...coming back around to re-prioritizing this site and roll posting took a bit longer, but I am back.
I know this was a long drawn out story in order to get a very simple statement across...but QUITTING is never as simple as you think it is...not on day #1, not on day #101, and cetainly not on day #230, especially if you have failed to continue doing what makes this site so successful - POST ROLL DAILY.
For those of you who might find yourself in this boat, or those of you just joining our fine brotherhood and feel you need numbers, all you have to do is ask and mine are yours. I am here to quit, but I am also here to help YOU quit - and stay quit. Thanks to all my June brothers that have taken the time to text me asking where the fuck I was and reminding me what this is all about.
CoachDoc, Day 230
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230 days ago I threw out all my cans of Cope and started down this road of quit. It hasn't been an easy trek, but it is one that is well worth the time and effort put into it. There have been some rough times during this journey, most which I could have certainly done something about to lessen how tough they were. What I am referring to is getting away from posting roll every day.
In my 230 days I've seen some of the most BAMF Quitters go back to a babbling fucking idiot as they cave and return to the fog-filled first fisrt few days of a baby-bird quit. Many of the vets that have caved give one reason as their primary punch in the gut - they stopped posting roll every day, they lost site of how important this keystone event is to their quit.
I've seen it over and over....from vets, as well as new quitters...I've raked countless quitters over the coals for being spotty (at best) roll posters. All that being said, it didn't stop me from falling into the same trap...
10 weeks ago, I commenced a new single life, living in an apartment, having my kids every other weekend, coaching football and working....a very busy, hectic life...and one full of changes and adjustments to be made. I convinced myself that I really didn't have the time to post roll every morning...it took too much. I had plenty of time to chase after new women (I mean, I was single again, right?) but not to post roll. Then this one woman started talking to me quite a bit and she was getting pretty intense....yeah, the Nic Bitch started whispering in my ear...a lot. Telling me how, I'd been quit all this time, I'd really quit just to try and save my marriage, how since I wasn't postig roll every day I could get away with it and nobody would ever know...hell, I didn't even really need to go back to KTC...
I knew these were the games of the Nic Bitch...I'd seen them all before...seen them bring down proud quitters in the past. Thank God for the values the Marine Corps instilled in this ex Navy Corpsman...integrity is everything...I made a promise to each and every one of my former, current and future quit brothers and sisters that I would not cave and that I would be there for them. I did not cave...coming back around to re-prioritizing this site and roll posting took a bit longer, but I am back.
I know this was a long drawn out story in order to get a very simple statement across...but QUITTING is never as simple as you think it is...not on day #1, not on day #101, and cetainly not on day #230, especially if you have failed to continue doing what makes this site so successful - POST ROLL DAILY.
For those of you who might find yourself in this boat, or those of you just joining our fine brotherhood and feel you need numbers, all you have to do is ask and mine are yours. I am here to quit, but I am also here to help YOU quit - and stay quit. Thanks to all my June brothers that have taken the time to text me asking where the fuck I was and reminding me what this is all about.
CoachDoc, Day 230
Welcome back brother. Very well put. We got your back, and Semper Fi.
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It's why I am still here Doc practically everyday. I may not get around too much anymore or be available to new guys like I used to, but I post roll practically everyday. And for you new guys, I pretty much posted roll EVERY day for the first year or so and have only missed maybe 5x or so. As Doc said it is the foundation of your quit. Once you stop posting you remove a barrier and a semblance of honor.
good work, Doc.
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Two words from one former Marine to another.....Get Some!!!!
Semper Fi
NMG
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Great post !! Welcome back !!
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Great post !! Welcome back !!
Amazing post Love it man so true
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Great post...the cool part about the suck is that you're keeping your commitment. I dig that the most. Keeping your word to a bunch of strangers...me too. I don't personally know any of the folks in my Quit Group (December) or even on this website. But I will not break my commitment to my group, or you.
This site keeps me accountable to the real folks that I am doing this for...my family. My son (2yrs) is too young to know what I was doing, but keeping my word to you guys is keeping my word to him.
So thanks for being here for him...and me. And know this...I'm supporting your quit just like I'm supporting my own son.
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Day 278 -
The other night - Thanksgiving night, to be exact - a fellow quitter texted me and said that they were having a really hard time. Said they wanted "one really bad." I laid my phone down on the counter and turned back to my friends. Before saying another word, I stopped, picked up my phone and replied, "You don't need it." I was then asked, "Does it ever get better?" and my answer was, "You already know it does. Be strong. Power through it." This member was on day 84. She remained quit...in large part thanks to the support she received from members...members that likely gave her more support than I offered.
I've been lax at signing roll over the past few weeks...hell, the last few months. I have been caught up in my own struggles outside of quitting and I nearly turned my back on a member asking for help. The success of this site is built on the support of its members...never forget that...as I almost did. Take the support you need to quit and stay quit, but be sure to give back to the community...support a quitter...be there for them when they ask for help.
CoachDoc
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Day 699
Tomorrow puts me at 700 days of being nicotine free. Exactly one month from tomorrow makes two years. Isn't it funny what can happen and change in the course of two years.
I've watched a good number of quitters come and go - some vets, hundreds of "baby birds." Some say they just felt it was time to leave but planned on "staying quit" while others caved and succumbed to the nasty nic sea, sinking below its waves, never to be seen or heard from again.
I know that I have said many times how the best piece of advice I received when joining KTC was when Sensei and MikeA told me to make this quit "about me." Yup. Nearly two years ago I took my last dip with the full intent of quitting for my wife, in order to save the marriage. I listened to Sensei and MikeA when they told me to quit for me, but I didn't HEAR them or yet understand what they were saying. Luckily, I continued sticking with the site and continued actively posting and I received more and more insight from these amazing vets. It became clear that if I quit for the wife, then what happened if she was no longer around? What reason would I have to stay quit then? They got it through my thick skull - and dip-fogged brain - that the quit HAD to be about ME.
Well, the wife is now the Ex-Wife. Without going into painful detail, I can tell you that being divorced, only getting my 4 sons every other weekend and watching more than half of every paycheck go away, it might seem that there is not a lot to be happy about. Despite all of this, there is one very big, very bright spot. I made this quit about me. I have maintained my integrity. Although I did begin missing roll on occassion after day 200, I have kept my word to my brothers and, more importantly, to MYSELF, in remaining nicotine free. I might not be able to control the amount of money I have to pay, or the amount of time I get to spend with my sons, but like making sure that the time I do have with my boys is quality time, I have COMPLETE control over whether or not I remain quit and NOBODY can take that from me - and I will never surrender that.
I've often said to new quitters that "QUIT is a verb, an action word." I tell them that being quit means being active in the quit. Whenever I feel myself getting overwhelmed, I no longer think, "Man, I could use a dip." Instead, I think, "Man, I need to get back on KTC and get active and post." Is it because I am trying to curb cravings? No. It is because I have learned that being active in this site got me through the tough days of the Suck. If it can get me through those times, it can help me get through all the tough times. KTC is much more than a site for helping people defeat the nicotine addiction - it is a coping site that helps us learn new and better ways to deal with our issues. For the site and all the members - both who have supported me, as well as those I have hopefully been able to support and help - I will always be grateful.
Tomorrow I hit 700 days.
Tomorrow is just as important as that first day I posted roll way back on March 2, 2010.
Today, January 24, 2012, I promise to each of you - Vet, newbie and everyone in between - that I will not use nicotine today and I will do whatever I can to support you in maintaining your quit.
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Awesome post Coach, thank you....and thanks for continuing to come back
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Congrats on the 7 Bills.
'wave' 'clap' 'wave'
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I really admire your dedication and resolve to stay quit for 700 days. Very impressive! Congratulations....
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This actually looks pretty cool. I wonder if we got 10-12 quotes of this if Remmy would shut it down.
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This actually looks pretty cool. I wonder if we got 10-12 quotes of this if Remmy would shut it down.
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'worship'Â 'worship'Â 'worship'
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This actually looks pretty cool. I wonder if we got 10-12 quotes of this if Remmy would shut it down.
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This actually looks pretty cool. I wonder if we got 10-12 quotes of this if Remmy would shut it down.
'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
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This actually looks pretty cool. I wonder if we got 10-12 quotes of this if Remmy would shut it down.
'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
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Holy shit! At least now I can be pretty confident I don't have epilepsy....but I did feel a little seasick looking at this thread....
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Good stuff doc, early congrats on 700!
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In looking back over the events of the past week or so, I am reminded that this site is an amazing melting pot.
Plato wrote in The Republic about his "Myth of Metals," in which everyone was born with a certain essence that defined what they would be - worker, warrior or ruler. It might have been suggested - more than once - that this is the societal structure that has been created within the halls of KTC in which there is an elite level of brothers that are ruling over the lower classes and keeping them in place. I would disagree.
Unlike the world within Plato's, The Republic, none of the classifications we hold here are permanent. Vets were not always Vets. Baby Birds (my affectionate name for new quitters) eventually learn to fly and leave the relative safe confines of the nest. The rate at which we travel from being one to another varies, but it is a given that nobody is considered a Vet until well after their first 100 days. Hell, I've said multiple times I still don't consider myself a Vet...even after being here through 700+ days of quit.
I've seen quitters come and go....and some that have come and gone multiple times. I've watches Vets and new quit brothers alike jump all over someone for their perceived lack of effort, integrity or dedication to the act of quitting. I did say PERCEIVED. This perception of what it means to be quit is the true strength of the site. We all KNOW how precarious this thing called quit is. We all acknowledge the triggers, the fog, the rage, the craving, the stress, the habit, the desire....all of those things that threaten our quit every day. We find strength in numbers and comfort in a shared goal and struggle.
I am willing to be that nearly every one of you has witnessed or has heard of the Fight or Flight mode. When people watch their "close" friends struggling or failing, it is a direct reminder to them as to how dangerously close they themselves can be to the same fate. It can be a grim reminder as to the fragile nature of our quit. It can also be a source for huge feelings of disappointment, betrayal, abandonment, and deciet. Whether people like to admit it or not, they can and often do feel that their quit is placed in danger by such actions. Common reactions are to be angry, to lash out and to want the offending person to be punished.
Stay on here long enough and you will see this pattern repeat itself many times. Guess what? Many of those people who have been on both sides of that coin are still here. Those that are not, hopefully they are still quit while not remaining a member of this society that has been created here. But, the process...the growth of the site, the growth of each individual quitter that makes up the whole of KTC has been made better and stronger throughout the process. Galvanizing, tough love, whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, pain is weakness leaving the body....all sentiments used to try and explain the type of processes that happen here. All good attempts, but I personally don't think there is any one way to sum it up. In the end, the only thing that truly matters is that this site is effective in helping the individual to stay quit.
A long, likely rediculous rant, but my thoughts...and writing and posting is helping ME to stay quit. Who knows, maybe it helps someone else, too.
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I got to looking through my in-box, just to make sure that I had all my brothers' and sisters' numbers in my new phone. What I realized was that I have a lot of names of quitters who I'd exchanged numbers with that are no longer active on this site.
More importantly, I couldn't think of a single one that called or texted me letting me know they were struggling or in need of help to keep from caving.
New quitters, you have to be "All In" and understand that this is a life-long comittment. Get numbers of brothers and USE them. Digits are kinda like condoms in your wallet in Thailand - if you don't use them, you can't complain when you end up with something that will kill you. You know the dangers, you make your choice. When you have something on hand that could potentially save your life, why would you not use it? Because it makes you feel a little better for a few minutes? Despite the fact those few minutes might kill you?
Get digits - and use them - they are the Quitter's Condom.
No reason to be embarrassed about asking for them...we don't keep them behind the counter...just ASK.
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Posting this here because I don't want to take up valuable space in the roll areas for this, but still wanted to share this - this is what I base my life off of...whether it be work, coaching or my QUIT. Modified to fit the QUIT. Some of you will recognize it immediately...
14 Leadership Traits (adapted from USMC)
Justice
Giving reward and punishment according to the merits of the case in question. The ability to administer a system of rewards and punishments impartially and consistently.
Judgment
The ability to weigh facts and possible courses of action in order to make sound decisions.
Dependability
The certainty of proper performance of duty – KNOWING, without a doubt that once a Brother gives his word not to use for the day, he won’t.
Initiative
Taking action in the absence of orders – not waiting for someone to ask for help…offering it before they need it
Decisiveness
Ability to make decisions promptly and to announce them in a clear, forceful manner. Knowing what this site is about and how it works and staying with the program.
Tact
The ability to to say and do the right thing at the right time.
Tact allows guidance, and opinions to be expressed in a constructive and beneficial manner. This deference must be extended under all conditions regardless of true feelings.
Integrity
Uprightness of character and soundness of moral principles. The quality of truthfulness and honesty. A Brothers word is his/her bond. Nothing less than complete honesty in all of your dealings with brothers is acceptable.
Enthusiasm
The display of sincere interest and exuberance in the performance of your quit.
Bearing
Creating a favorable impression in carriage, appearance, and personal conduct at all times. The ability to look, talk, and act like a quitter. Not using words like “try,” “hope,” “might,” or “luck
Unselfishness
Avoidance of providing for oneÂ’s own comfort and personal advancement at the expense of others. We are Brothers and are arranged in a ClassÂ…this is not an individual quit site.
Courage
Courage is a mental quality that recognizes fear of danger or criticism, but enables a Brother to proceed in the face of criticism and hostile attacks with calmness and firmness, knowing and standing for what is right, in order to get the job done correctly.
Knowledge
The range of oneÂ’s information, including professional knowledge and understanding of your Brothers and the act of the Quit..
Loyalty
Definition - The quality of faithfulness to The Quit process, your class, vets, new quitters and peers. Semper Fidelis, Always Faithful.
Endurance
The mental and physical stamina measured by the ability to withstand pain, fatigue, stress, and hardship. The quality of withstanding pain during the first few weeks of the Quit is crucial in the development of what is required to fight off the addiction.
11 LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES – ALSO APPLIES TO BEING A GOOD QUIT BROTHERKnow Yourself and Seek Self Improvement
Be Technically and Tactically Proficient (In your quit)
Know Your People and Look Out For Their Welfare (Your class, and newer quitters)
Keep Your Personnel Informed (Communicate with brothers as to whatÂ’s going on with you)
Set The Example
Ensure That The Task Is Understood, Supervised, and Accomplished (This method of QUIT works )
Develop your class As A Team
Make Sound And Timely Decisions (DonÂ’t wait for someone to hint they are close to caving)
Develop A Sense Of Responsibility Among Your Brothers – vet or new
Employ Your Command Within its Capabilities
Seek Responsibilities and Take Responsibility
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And this is the guy that says, "Blah...Blah...Blah...You keep TALKIN....I'll keep QUITTIN." That's some good stuff, Doc. It always helps me to think about what I'm doing, especially when it comes to my quit and my addiction.
Thanks, Bro!
PS How's this for some heady philosophy: Know Yourself; And, Therefore, Know Your Quit! ??
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Realizing there are two things most fresh quitters really seem to have a problem with:
1. Committing to posting roll every morning - early
2. Actually writing a quit plan
I've seen the arguements against posting roll - I'm not trading one addiction for another, I've given my word once, that should be good enough, I'm too busy, I just get bumped so I come in later and do it, etc. etc. etc.
I've not really seen nearly as many reasons for not writing a plan, though. Actually, I think more people SAY they have a plan, but really never took time to develop it. For what it's worth, the plan is something that should be continuously modified throughout your quit...the same things you might have needed in the beginning, you might not ned as your quit progresses...
So, in order to keep mine an ACTIVE QUIT PLAN, I am posting it here, and will bump it whenever I modify it. Maybe others will find some use in reading it from time to time as well.
MY ACTIVE QUIT PLAN
When the craving starts:
1. Identify what trigger is causing me to crave – ex-wife, money, work, etc. Remind myself how dipping made the situation BETTER in the past
2. Remove myself from the situation, if at all possible. DO NOT head to a c-store, gas station, or other store that sells tobacco products
3. Remind myself of what day I listed on my roll post that morning, remembering that my posting roll is my promise to each and every brother/sister to not use for that day
4. Log on to KTC and engage in chat, posting, reading all of my comments regarding retreads and cavers...understand that I WILL BE AMONG THOSE IF I CAVE
5. Remember all of the cavers that came and went and the way their failure made me feel, especially the oneÂ’s I respected. Their failure let me down and made me sometimes doubt my ability to succeed with my quit. I DO NOT want to do that to my brothers.
6. Remember how it felt when my oldest of four sons used to say, “My dad does drugs.” Even though he meant nicotine, it still made me feel very ashamed.
7. If still craving, use Smokey Mountain fake.
8. If still craving or fake unavailable, call/text:
Clampy
NOLAQ
CoachMorris
BTDogboy
Tabasco
Allec
Greg5280
TruckerRick
Tarpon17
Capt Jack Sparrow
rogjames
DemonBeGone
Trig
David1964
TortillaJesus
amgdenny
Coach Steve
Moondawggy
RWB
CMH17
mcarmo44
my brother
my aunt
my sons
my significant other
and tell them that I am in need of support to not dip. I cannot move on to step 9 until I have reached every one of the people on this list.
9. If this doesnÂ’t work, then pull out the contract to quit, sign it and then have sons and significant other sign it.
10. If all this fails, then I MUST accept that I will die a miserable, lonely, painful death due likely to cancer and all because I valued a 5 minute buzz more than everything listed above. Have mercy upon my twisted, sick soul.
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Honored to be on your call list. When I signed up you were the first to give me the KTC intro /tour and your #. 7 days clean and doing OK. Staying Active. Thanks!!
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Honored to be on your call list. When I signed up you were the first to give me the KTC intro /tour and your #. 7 days clean and doing OK. Staying Active. Thanks!!
That's what it's all about...you are just as important in my quit as those that have been there from the beginning (don't tell NOLAQ...he might get all butt-hurt....)
I owe as much to supporting you as I do my June 2010 brothers...
Your 7 days of quit are 7 days that strengthened mine...keep it up, brother!
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I'm a dick. Just a really BIG PRICK. And I don't apologize for it. Not one bit.
Yeah, I take THE QUIT seriously. That's right, I said THE QUIT. See, that means I take YOUR quit just as seriously as I take my own. It means that when your quit is threatened - whether it is threatened by someone else or you, yourself - I start doing whetever I can to protect it.
Why? Because my quit is dependant upon yours, yours is dependant upon 30's, his upon Coach Steve's, his upon Taco's, and on and on....
So, yeah, you come in running off at the mouth, shaking the table and threatening to topple THE QUIT, I'm gonna get pissed and I'm gonna come after you...
No thanks are needed...I do it for the good of all of us.
Embrace the QUIT.
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I'm a dick. Just a really BIG PRICK. And I don't apologize for it. Not one bit.
Yeah, I take THE QUIT seriously. That's right, I said THE QUIT. See, that means I take YOUR quit just as seriously as I take my own. It means that when your quit is threatened - whether it is threatened by someone else or you, yourself - I start doing whetever I can to protect it.
Why? Because my quit is dependant upon yours, yours is dependant upon 30's, his upon Coach Steve's, his upon Taco's, and on and on....
So, yeah, you come in running off at the mouth, shaking the table and threatening to topple THE QUIT, I'm gonna get pissed and I'm gonna come after you...
No thanks are needed...I do it for the good of all of us.
Embrace the QUIT.
'na na' 'na na' 'na na'
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Honored to be on your call list. When I signed up you were the first to give me the KTC intro /tour and your #. 7 days clean and doing OK. Staying Active. Thanks!!
That's what it's all about...you are just as important in my quit as those that have been there from the beginning (don't tell NOLAQ...he might get all butt-hurt....)
I owe as much to supporting you as I do my June 2010 brothers...
Your 7 days of quit are 7 days that strengthened mine...keep it up, brother!
Starting the double digits tomorrow in part to Doc hearing me vent. Read the site embrace the site and I believe you find the quit!!!!!! After reading a lot of intros HOF speeches it seems like everyone has a similar story of how you started, how many times you tried quitting, stresses in life. Everyone has them. Like it's told here, promise to quit for the day, keep your promise, and support a brother starting the quit or help one out whose struggling.
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When you think, "CoachDoc (or some other quitter - whether new or a vet) doesn't have a CLUE what I'm feeling," Think again...
We've been where you are...sometimes we forget...but we've been there...reminders of where you come from are always good...keeps it all in perspective...
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I'm a newbie, just on day 7 of quit after 35+ years of cope. I was never a ninja, in fact it was a part of how I was defined. After 7 days I'm just coming out of the fog. Following these posts is a huge help! While I like to think I could cold turkey quit on my own, sharing accountability and lessons learned is a huge leg up. Thanks.
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Day 778
This is primarily a message to those new to the site or those trying to decide whether or not this site is "right" for them.
With every class, there are those who question the site, the vets, the methods, the philosophy....hell, the very nature and integrity of KTC. There are certainly those who are rubbed the wrong way by the site and/or its members, and there are those who pack up camp and head for the hills - soome return, even if just to thumb theior noses at the past and present members, but most are never head from again.
What I would bring to the table - the table I have previously described as a table with precariously stacked Jenga blocks of quit on it - is that, unlike my analogy, this is far from a game. It is also far from simply being about our quit. What we do here, what we have here moves far beyond the quit and how that impacts our lives. The sense of belonging, of learning how to receive and give help, of seeing beyond the needs of the individual and learning how to reach out and offer the help to others...all of this is a large resaon this site works.
A few days ago, I was ready to hang it up, walk away from the site. Not because of anything here, or because of the drama that is ALWAYS within these pages, but because of personal issues that need to be dealt with. Immediately I began getting e-mails, texts and PMs telling me not to leave the site, not to walk away from the support here. The funny thing is, not once did I ever feel the urge to dip in order to deal with my stress, nor do I feel that any of my brothers and sisters on here think that me leaving would result in my caving. They knew that the bond we form here often transcends the quit...it becomes a family and support network for....life. They knew it was what I needed, even if I could not see it at the time.
I know, I often tallk too much - guess that degree in English writing before nursing school (and after the military) still has to resurface every so often, if not quite as entertainingly as in the case of Coach Steve...but I digress...
For those questioning if this site is right for you, or if all the BS and drama is worth it, keep in mind that you will gain some of the most staunch supporters you could ever hope to have. You will find people willing to bend over backwards for you - even though you are essentially no more than a faceless stranger on the other side of a modem....You will find the strength to quit, to stay quit and so much more if you stick around this site.
To all of you who reached out to me and continue to, thank you. I am humbled and grateful. For those who read this and decide to stick around, I look forward to calling you my quit brother/sister. My number and support will always be your...just ask.
CoachDoc
QUIT
DISCLAIMER: This long, winding, somewhat odd letter was inspired by Axl Rose's letter to the Rock Hall of Fame declining his nomination into the HoF...
-
Day 778
This is primarily a message to those new to the site or those trying to decide whether or not this site is "right" for them.
With every class, there are those who question the site, the vets, the methods, the philosophy....hell, the very nature and integrity of KTC. There are certainly those who are rubbed the wrong way by the site and/or its members, and there are those who pack up camp and head for the hills - soome return, even if just to thumb theior noses at the past and present members, but most are never head from again.
What I would bring to the table - the table I have previously described as a table with precariously stacked Jenga blocks of quit on it - is that, unlike my analogy, this is far from a game. It is also far from simply being about our quit. What we do here, what we have here moves far beyond the quit and how that impacts our lives. The sense of belonging, of learning how to receive and give help, of seeing beyond the needs of the individual and learning how to reach out and offer the help to others...all of this is a large resaon this site works.
A few days ago, I was ready to hang it up, walk away from the site. Not because of anything here, or because of the drama that is ALWAYS within these pages, but because of personal issues that need to be dealt with. Immediately I began getting e-mails, texts and PMs telling me not to leave the site, not to walk away from the support here. The funny thing is, not once did I ever feel the urge to dip in order to deal with my stress, nor do I feel that any of my brothers and sisters on here think that me leaving would result in my caving. They knew that the bond we form here often transcends the quit...it becomes a family and support network for....life. They knew it was what I needed, even if I could not see it at the time.
I know, I often tallk too much - guess that degree in English writing before nursing school (and after the military) still has to resurface every so often, if not quite as entertainingly as in the case of Coach Steve...but I digress...
For those questioning if this site is right for you, or if all the BS and drama is worth it, keep in mind that you will gain some of the most staunch supporters you could ever hope to have. You will find people willing to bend over backwards for you - even though you are essentially no more than a faceless stranger on the other side of a modem....You will find the strength to quit, to stay quit and so much more if you stick around this site.
To all of you who reached out to me and continue to, thank you. I am humbled and grateful. For those who read this and decide to stick around, I look forward to calling you my quit brother/sister. My number and support will always be your...just ask.
CoachDoc
QUIT
DISCLAIMER: This long, winding, somewhat odd letter was inspired by Axl Rose's letter to the Rock Hall of Fame declining his nomination into the HoF...
Good to see you out here my quit brother.
-
The intros section is something like a cross between a car wreck on the side of the road and a reality TV show like the Biggest Loser or Hoarders or Intervention... most people can't help but look, wondering what horrible scene they will see, but at the same time, they read it and sometimes think, man, there's someone that is WAAAAY worse than me...
Well, sometimes you learn a lot from looking - like, man I need to pay attention so THAT doesn't happen to me. That's why you will hear so many people suggest going back and reading through intros, through old roll posts, and through the HoF speeches...they are filled with VALUABLE info to learn from...to HELP you in your quit...I started this thread 610 days ago...and it is just as important today as it was then...think about THAT....this post was put on here to help YOU long before some of you even thought about quitting...that's what this site is about...
Track down some of the older quitters intros and entries in the roll....you might be surprised to find out that solid quitter was at one time a dispised punk...or that really knowledgable vet actually went through some serious struggles to get where he is...
This is a library of quit....check out materials often...and we don't charge you for late returns....
-
The intros section is something like a cross between a car wreck on the side of the road and a reality TV show like the Biggest Loser or Hoarders or Intervention... most people can't help but look, wondering what horrible scene they will see, but at the same time, they read it and sometimes think, man, there's someone that is WAAAAY worse than me...
Well, sometimes you learn a lot from looking - like, man I need to pay attention so THAT doesn't happen to me. That's why you will hear so many people suggest going back and reading through intros, through old roll posts, and through the HoF speeches...they are filled with VALUABLE info to learn from...to HELP you in your quit...I started this thread 610 days ago...and it is just as important today as it was then...think about THAT....this post was put on here to help YOU long before some of you even thought about quitting...that's what this site is about...
Track down some of the older quitters intros and entries in the roll....you might be surprised to find out that solid quitter was at one time a dispised punk...or that really knowledgable vet actually went through some serious struggles to get where he is...
This is a library of quit....check out materials often...and we don't charge you for late returns....
Well Said !
'clap'
-
The intros section is something like a cross between a car wreck on the side of the road and a reality TV show like the Biggest Loser or Hoarders or Intervention... most people can't help but look, wondering what horrible scene they will see, but at the same time, they read it and sometimes think, man, there's someone that is WAAAAY worse than me...
Well, sometimes you learn a lot from looking - like, man I need to pay attention so THAT doesn't happen to me. That's why you will hear so many people suggest going back and reading through intros, through old roll posts, and through the HoF speeches...they are filled with VALUABLE info to learn from...to HELP you in your quit...I started this thread 610 days ago...and it is just as important today as it was then...think about THAT....this post was put on here to help YOU long before some of you even thought about quitting...that's what this site is about...
Track down some of the older quitters intros and entries in the roll....you might be surprised to find out that solid quitter was at one time a dispised punk...or that really knowledgable vet actually went through some serious struggles to get where he is...
This is a library of quit....check out materials often...and we don't charge you for late returns....
Well Said !
'clap'
X2
Good to have walked the path with you Doc.
Semper Fi.
-
Day 986
Another two weeks and I am at a place I NEVER thought I would be at. I remember looking at the guys posting support with numbers in the 600s, 700s and even the 1,000s and thinking, "How the hell am I going to make it that long?"
I remember being skeptical and thinking half of these guys with big numbers had caved at some point and just never admitted it - after all, who would ever know?
But, as time went on, I realized that this site and the number you post is a daily victory. Those that caved and lied (I'm sure there have been plenty), just disappear. They know the lie and this site really doesn't provide them with anything so they fade away.
But, for many of the rest of us, it is that daily reminder that we CAN accomplish something. That we ARE capable of beating an addiction and that, no matter what life throws at us, we ARE in control of this QUIT, if nothing else. Nobody can ever take my quit from me - EVER. As long as I chose to keep it, it is mine. And the more selfish and protective of it, the more I actually am sharing it with every one else on KTC.
Here's to the next 1,000 days
-
Day 986
Another two weeks and I am at a place I NEVER thought I would be at. I remember looking at the guys posting support with numbers in the 600s, 700s and even the 1,000s and thinking, "How the hell am I going to make it that long?"
I remember being skeptical and thinking half of these guys with big numbers had caved at some point and just never admitted it - after all, who would ever know?
But, as time went on, I realized that this site and the number you post is a daily victory. Those that caved and lied (I'm sure there have been plenty), just disappear. They know the lie and this site really doesn't provide them with anything so they fade away.
But, for many of the rest of us, it is that daily reminder that we CAN accomplish something. That we ARE capable of beating an addiction and that, no matter what life throws at us, we ARE in control of this QUIT, if nothing else. Nobody can ever take my quit from me - EVER. As long as I chose to keep it, it is mine. And the more selfish and protective of it, the more I actually am sharing it with every one else on KTC.
Here's to the next 1,000 days
Right on Doc!
'clap'
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
Day 1,000
It's always good to remember where you came from...and remember to light the path for those that follow. For what it's worth....
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.Â
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.Â
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
Day 1,000
It's always good to remember where you came from...and remember to light the path for those that follow. For what it's worth....
Its worth a lot bro. It was worth bumping then, its worth bumping now!
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.Â
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.Â
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
Day 1,000
It's always good to remember where you came from...and remember to light the path for those that follow. For what it's worth....
Its worth a lot bro. It was worth bumping then, its worth bumping now!
Proud of you man.
Very proud.
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.Â
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.Â
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
Day 1,000
It's always good to remember where you came from...and remember to light the path for those that follow. For what it's worth....
Its worth a lot bro. It was worth bumping then, its worth bumping now!
Proud of you man.
Very proud.
commas are rockin. Way to go Coach. Thanks for sticking around.
-
Hopefully a lot of the new Sept class will read this, as well as June, July and August.Â
90 days ago I had my last dip...ever. When I say "ever," i mean it in the same sense as "for as long as I live," or "the rest of my life," or "for eternity." That being said, I shared with my June brothers (and anyone else who bothered reading it) that yesterday, at 89 days into my quit, I had the worst crave I had ever experienced - even leading me to nearly panic when i went to buy a can of fake and the store was out. No, I didn't cave, I simply went home, refusing to continue drivig around to all the Wal-Marts to find fake because I knew that this would put me at greater risk of caving.Â
All along the quit, you will hear people telling you that, "It does get easier." It DOES. Even though the crave yesterday was the worst, most intense crave I have had to date, it was also the easiest to get over - once I took control of the situation, it was not long until my mind was off of the crave and on to other things.
I closed my writing yesterday with the warning - stay alert, the nic bitch is sneakey and she won't give up, even when you are so close to the Hall. In actuality, look around over the past few weeks....you see cavers ranging from not getting past their first 72 hours (it takes approx. 3 days for nicotine to clear your system), to guys with 1000+ days caving. The bitch likes the young as well as the old quitters.
When you think you are strong enough to walk away from this site and manage your quit on your own, you will be wrong. When you think you have seen every type of crave and know how to react to it, you will be wrong. When you think you are done with your quit, that you have defeated your addiction to nicotine, you will be wrong.
Several of us in June have already pledged to each other - in writing for all to see - that we will continue posting roll for AT LEAST the next 100 days past the HOF 100. WE are comitted to staying quit, we are comitted to supporting each other and every other quitter on this site.
Yesterday SmokeyG had some people all pissed off because he asked what they had to offer new quitters that he, QUIT PERSONIFIED, could not. I said it yesterday, as Smokey finally did, too, that the question is, what have you learned about yourself and your quit? What helped you? Can you find it within yourself to do the same for others? When I first came on here, I said I was going to be very active, because I knew that is what I needed in order to be quit...I've realized, that is what we all need. Quitting is a verb, an action word. Quitting is active. You cannot be passive and be quitting. I also said something frequently when I first came to this site:
Stay strong, Stay TRUE, STAY QUIT.
August is now using this as part of their header...glad they saw it as being meaningful. Hope all of you can see the value of living the words.
Day 1,000
It's always good to remember where you came from...and remember to light the path for those that follow. For what it's worth....
Its worth a lot bro. It was worth bumping then, its worth bumping now!
Proud of you man.
Very proud.
commas are rockin. Way to go Coach. Thanks for sticking around.
Thanks Coach,
As I sit at 87 days today, I cannot imagine leaving when I make that 100 day milestone. Also, quite textbook, while my craves haven't come around at this point, the last two weeks have been hard as I've developed a little anxiety for the first time in my life. With the help of some quitters in my group, it is improving and I feel I am getting it under control. Would I go back to day 4? No, but actively fighting the bitch head on honestly seemed easier than trying to get my mind right.
So, this was all very important for me to read. Thanks again, Coach.
-
I'm re-posting this because, from what I've seen in the roll posts, I think it might be helpful for some of the February and March class to see. Hell, it'll be good for all to see.
CoachDoc Day 1050
230 days ago I threw out all my cans of Cope and started down this road of quit. It hasn't been an easy trek, but it is one that is well worth the time and effort put into it. There have been some rough times during this journey, most which I could have certainly done something about to lessen how tough they were. What I am referring to is getting away from posting roll every day.
In my 230 days I've seen some of the most BAMF Quitters go back to a babbling fucking idiot as they cave and return to the fog-filled first few days of a baby-bird quit. Many of the vets that have caved give one reason as their primary punch in the gut - they stopped posting roll every day, they lost sight of how important this keystone event is to their quit.
I've seen it over and over....from vets, as well as new quitters...I've raked countless quitters over the coals for being spotty (at best) roll posters. All that being said, it didn't stop me from falling into the same trap...
10 weeks ago, I commenced a new single life, living in an apartment, having my kids every other weekend, coaching football and working....a very busy, hectic life...and one full of changes and adjustments to be made. I convinced myself that I really didn't have the time to post roll every morning...it took too much. I had plenty of time to chase after new women (I mean, I was single again, right?) but not to post roll. Then this one woman started talking to me quite a bit and she was getting pretty intense....yeah, the Nic Bitch started whispering in my ear...a lot. Telling me how, I'd been quit all this time, I'd really quit just to try and save my marriage, how since I wasn't postig roll every day I could get away with it and nobody would ever know...hell, I didn't even really need to go back to KTC...
I knew these were the games of the Nic Bitch...I'd seen them all before...seen them bring down proud quitters in the past. Thank God for the values the Marine Corps instilled in this ex Navy Corpsman...integrity is everything...I made a promise to each and every one of my former, current and future quit brothers and sisters that I would not cave and that I would be there for them. I did not cave...coming back around to re-prioritizing this site and roll posting took a bit longer, but I am back.
I know this was a long drawn out story in order to get a very simple statement across...but QUITTING is never as simple as you think it is...not on day #1, not on day #101, and cetainly not on day #230, especially if you have failed to continue doing what makes this site so successful - POST ROLL DAILY.
For those of you who might find yourself in this boat, or those of you just joining our fine brotherhood and feel you need numbers, all you have to do is ask and mine are yours. I am here to quit, but I am also here to help YOU quit - and stay quit. Thanks to all my June brothers that have taken the time to text me asking where the fuck I was and reminding me what this is all about.
CoachDoc, Day 230
-
Every so often, those of us that have been here a while sometimes re-post and bump our original intro back to the top. Maybe it's an ego stroke, maybe it's because we think we have learned a thing or two over the time we've been here on KTC...
I post it now for those of you who wonder how you are going to make it through the "stressful times" without a dip.
It isn't about the stress you face...it's about the choices YOU make in dealing with it. Heck, if I didn't throw a dip in after going through a separation, a divorce, only getting my kids every other weekend, changing jobs, moving, paying 56% of my income to an ex-wife, and now being laid off.....
You should get the picture...You will remain DIP-FREE as long as YOU WANT TO. And we'll be right here to support you in those times where you might falter on your own...
Stay True. Stay Strong. Stay QUIT.
-
Thanks for bumping this to the top coach truly inspirational!!!
-
Realizing there are two things most fresh quitters really seem to have a problem with:
1. Committing to posting roll every morning - early
2. Actually writing a quit plan
I've seen the arguements against posting roll - I'm not trading one addiction for another, I've given my word once, that should be good enough, I'm too busy, I just get bumped so I come in later and do it, etc. etc. etc.
I've not really seen nearly as many reasons for not writing a plan, though. Actually, I think more people SAY they have a plan, but really never took time to develop it. For what it's worth, the plan is something that should be continuously modified throughout your quit...the same things you might have needed in the beginning, you might not ned as your quit progresses...
So, in order to keep mine an ACTIVE QUIT PLAN, I am posting it here, and will bump it whenever I modify it. Maybe others will find some use in reading it from time to time as well.
MY ACTIVE QUIT PLAN
When the craving starts:
1. Identify what trigger is causing me to crave – ex-wife, money, work, etc. Remind myself how dipping made the situation BETTER in the past
2. Remove myself from the situation, if at all possible. DO NOT head to a c-store, gas station, or other store that sells tobacco products
3. Remind myself of what day I listed on my roll post that morning, remembering that my posting roll is my promise to each and every brother/sister to not use for that day
4. Log on to KTC and engage in chat, posting, reading all of my comments regarding retreads and cavers...understand that I WILL BE AMONG THOSE IF I CAVE
5. Remember all of the cavers that came and went and the way their failure made me feel, especially the oneÂ’s I respected. Their failure let me down and made me sometimes doubt my ability to succeed with my quit. I DO NOT want to do that to my brothers.
6. Remember how it felt when my oldest of four sons used to say, “My dad does drugs.” Even though he meant nicotine, it still made me feel very ashamed.
7. If still craving, use Smokey Mountain fake.
8. If still craving or fake unavailable, call/text:
Clampy
NOLAQ
CoachMorris
BTDogboy
Tabasco
Allec
Greg5280
TruckerRick
Tarpon17
Capt Jack Sparrow
rogjames
DemonBeGone
Trig
David1964
TortillaJesus
amgdenny
Coach Steve
Moondawggy
RWB
CMH17
mcarmo44
my brother
my aunt
my sons
my significant other
and tell them that I am in need of support to not dip. I cannot move on to step 9 until I have reached every one of the people on this list.
9. If this doesnÂ’t work, then pull out the contract to quit, sign it and then have sons and significant other sign it.
10. If all this fails, then I MUST accept that I will die a miserable, lonely, painful death due likely to cancer and all because I valued a 5 minute buzz more than everything listed above. Have mercy upon my twisted, sick soul.
CoachDoc, Nothing is better than having fresh quitter information. I am on day 24 and will be adding a new tool to my quit -AN ACTIVE QUIT PLAN. Thanks for bumping this thread.
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Realizing there are two things most fresh quitters really seem to have a problem with:
1. Committing to posting roll every morning - early
2. Actually writing a quit plan
I've seen the arguements against posting roll - I'm not trading one addiction for another, I've given my word once, that should be good enough, I'm too busy, I just get bumped so I come in later and do it, etc. etc. etc.
I've not really seen nearly as many reasons for not writing a plan, though. Actually, I think more people SAY they have a plan, but really never took time to develop it. For what it's worth, the plan is something that should be continuously modified throughout your quit...the same things you might have needed in the beginning, you might not ned as your quit progresses...
So, in order to keep mine an ACTIVE QUIT PLAN, I am posting it here, and will bump it whenever I modify it. Maybe others will find some use in reading it from time to time as well.
MY ACTIVE QUIT PLAN
When the craving starts:
1. Identify what trigger is causing me to crave – ex-wife, money, work, etc. Remind myself how dipping made the situation BETTER in the past
2. Remove myself from the situation, if at all possible. DO NOT head to a c-store, gas station, or other store that sells tobacco products
3. Remind myself of what day I listed on my roll post that morning, remembering that my posting roll is my promise to each and every brother/sister to not use for that day
4. Log on to KTC and engage in chat, posting, reading all of my comments regarding retreads and cavers...understand that I WILL BE AMONG THOSE IF I CAVE
5. Remember all of the cavers that came and went and the way their failure made me feel, especially the oneÂ’s I respected. Their failure let me down and made me sometimes doubt my ability to succeed with my quit. I DO NOT want to do that to my brothers.
6. Remember how it felt when my oldest of four sons used to say, “My dad does drugs.” Even though he meant nicotine, it still made me feel very ashamed.
7. If still craving, use Smokey Mountain fake.
8. If still craving or fake unavailable, call/text:
Clampy
NOLAQ
CoachMorris
BTDogboy
Tabasco
Allec
Greg5280
TruckerRick
Tarpon17
Capt Jack Sparrow
rogjames
DemonBeGone
Trig
David1964
TortillaJesus
amgdenny
Coach Steve
Moondawggy
RWB
CMH17
mcarmo44
my brother
my aunt
my sons
my significant other
and tell them that I am in need of support to not dip. I cannot move on to step 9 until I have reached every one of the people on this list.
9. If this doesnÂ’t work, then pull out the contract to quit, sign it and then have sons and significant other sign it.
10. If all this fails, then I MUST accept that I will die a miserable, lonely, painful death due likely to cancer and all because I valued a 5 minute buzz more than everything listed above. Have mercy upon my twisted, sick soul.
CoachDoc, Nothing is better than having fresh quitter information. I am on day 24 and will be adding a new tool to my quit -AN ACTIVE QUIT PLAN. Thanks for bumping this thread.
Glad to help. If you need a number - any of you - all ya have to do is ask and it's yours.
A quit plan is ALWAYS a strong idea...write it, update it frequently, and LIVE it!
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OK, I've had it with all the lame-assed excuses for caving! I'm stressed....whaaaa fucking whaaaa! Who the hell isn't stressed?
To come in here saying how this was going on and this job problem or that bill wasn't getting paid, or this person was sick and died.....BS!
It's all BS....all nothing but excuses and poor choices. There is no excuse. NONE! Does that mean you aren't welcome back? Does that mean you can't continue to be a quitter? NO....what it means is stop trying to justify the fact YOU chose to put that crap back in your mouth...Face the fact that you lied to us when you promised to remain quit. Own up to the fact that you put more value in that little rush from nicotine than you put on your word, your health or your integrity.
Have A nice day.
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OK, I've had it with all the lame-assed excuses for caving! I'm stressed....whaaaa fucking whaaaa! Who the hell isn't stressed?
To come in here saying how this was going on and this job problem or that bill wasn't getting paid, or this person was sick and died.....BS!
It's all BS....all nothing but excuses and poor choices. There is no excuse. NONE! Does that mean you aren't welcome back? Does that mean you can't continue to be a quitter? NO....what it means is stop trying to justify the fact YOU chose to put that crap back in your mouth...Face the fact that you lied to us when you promised to remain quit. Own up to the fact that you put more value in that little rush from nicotine than you put on your word, your health or your integrity.
Have A nice day.
Thanks DOC!!! I feel like my quit is being shit on A LOT! Either get busy quitting or get busy dying.
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OK, I've had it with all the lame-assed excuses for caving! I'm stressed....whaaaa fucking whaaaa! Who the hell isn't stressed?
To come in here saying how this was going on and this job problem or that bill wasn't getting paid, or this person was sick and died.....BS!
It's all BS....all nothing but excuses and poor choices. There is no excuse. NONE! Does that mean you aren't welcome back? Does that mean you can't continue to be a quitter? NO....what it means is stop trying to justify the fact YOU chose to put that crap back in your mouth...Face the fact that you lied to us when you promised to remain quit. Own up to the fact that you put more value in that little rush from nicotine than you put on your word, your health or your integrity.
Have A nice day.
Thanks DOC!!! I feel like my quit is being shit on A LOT! Either get busy quitting or get busy dying.
Your right on doc. It's something to see all these individuals come on, write a page of lies and then hit the rode. I understand it's hard, but I just know if i can do it anyone can. I'm glad to be quit with you doc and you kk.
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Thanks Doc. Have you come across any stress or hardship that dip helped with? I didn't think so. Don't be lame, fuckos, just quit.
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Exactly! Tell those excuses to someone who cares. Tell the excuses to the doctors as they confirm the "suspicious" spot on your cheek and proceed to remove your tounge and jaw. Tell your wife and kids as you destroy their lives with grief that while you love them, you don't love them as much as you love nicotine. Tell your whole family that you are willing to gamble their happiness and your life that all that "cancer talk" is just a bunch of hooey.
Do that stuff...or quit. Simple choice.
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I am losing my job. Am completely in over my hea din debt due to school loans. I live in expensive ass Maryland.
I didn't quit my quit. Fucking pussies.
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I am losing my job. Am completely in over my hea din debt due to school loans. I live in expensive ass Maryland.
I didn't quit my quit. Fucking pussies.
Hell, I thought you were quoting me for a minute...well, except for the school loans....my debts because of an ex-wife...
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Hahaha! Yea no ring finance troubles for me.
Maryland sucks. Maryland alone would make some of these weak children in my group who quit probably quit much sooner.
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My life is full of school loans, stress, work, deadlines, car breaking down, not getting the stuff I ordered on-line almost 2 1/2 weeks ago, kids with sports, etc..Guess what??? I'm still here n QUIT. Almost 1,000 days matter of fact.
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
Ironically, it was just a little over a year ago that I had a similar experience at a different hospital with a different patient. That is actually over in the Words of Wisdom section...
CoachDoc
Day 1514
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I hope everyone reading this will FOREVER remember this patient. Fuck Slavery and Fuck Nicotine.
Good to see you around coach D. Much love to you.
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
Thanks for posting this. Now that I am quit like fuck I love hearing this shit. It makes my quit stronger. When I was using I hated to hear this stuff. I would think oh that's not gonna happen to me.
I think that the common perception among tobacco users is that these cancer cases are somewhat the exception. They think ending up like the guy you came across is akin to being struck by lightning. Even though they're running around in a thunderstorm all day every day waving gripless 3 irons in the air.
The stories that are highlighted to serve as PSAs (ie: the Kern story) are few and far between. The published accounts are the rare exceptions. NOT the actual cancer cases. They are so common it's ridiculous. Tobacco is KILLING us. And it WILL kill you if you don't stay quit.
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
Thanks for posting this. Now that I am quit like fuck I love hearing this shit. It makes my quit stronger. When I was using I hated to hear this stuff. I would think oh that's not gonna happen to me.
I think that the common perception among tobacco users is that these cancer cases are somewhat the exception. They think ending up like the guy you came across is akin to being struck by lightning. Even though they're running around in a thunderstorm all day every day waving gripless 3 irons in the air.
The stories that are highlighted to serve as PSAs (ie: the Kern story) are few and far between. The published accounts are the rare exceptions. NOT the actual cancer cases. They are so common it's ridiculous. Tobacco is KILLING us. And it WILL kill you if you don't stay quit.
This story hit me hard yesterday. Such a selfish fucking addiction. He's going to die, he has no one to blame but himself, and his family will be the ones left here to suffer. This could have been avoided, and I'll remember it for the rest of my days.
Thank you for posting this coach.
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
Powerful story, thank you for sharing...reading this only strengthens my resolve.
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
Powerful story, thank you for sharing...reading this only strengthens my resolve.
Thanks for the post Doc.
Powerful reading. This is at least in part why we all quit and should be re-read by anyone who thinks they spend too much time on their quit...
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
Powerful story, thank you for sharing...reading this only strengthens my resolve.
Thanks for the post Doc.
Powerful reading. This is at least in part why we all quit and should be re-read by anyone who thinks they spend too much time on their quit...
We should all make sure that others don't forget the reason we QUIT in the first place
-
Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
Powerful story, thank you for sharing...reading this only strengthens my resolve.
Thanks for the post Doc.
Powerful reading. This is at least in part why we all quit and should be re-read by anyone who thinks they spend too much time on their quit...
We should all make sure that others don't forget the reason we QUIT in the first place
I'll never forget this post. Scared me when it was written, scares me today.
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Someties I feel like my throat is achey, or I feel like I might have some pain when I swallow and I think, "Is this cancer? Has all the dipping I did caught up to me?" As a health care professional - I'm an RN, former Corpsman specialized in aerospace medicine and combat medicine - I know the risks and I ignored them for a long time.
Yesterday I received a patient and before I went to see him I was already dreading it based on the report I received. They said that he had not been seen since August of 2013 when he had gone in for a lump on the underside of his tongue and had been told then that it was suspicious and that he needed to go to the ENT specialist and have it checked out. Night before last he had come back to the ER stating that he had terrible pain and trouble swallowing and breathing. The record went on to clarify that the pt communicated this in writing as the pt was not able to speak clearly enough for the physician to understand what he was saying.
I went in to see the pt. Rarely is a man who is 6 feet tall supposed to weigh 116 pounds. I introduced myself and had trouble keeping eye contact - my eyes kept wandering to the jaw that looked 3 times its normal size and the masses on the left side of his neck. He nodded in response to my introduction and listened quietly as I explained my role as a care manager. When I finally began asking him the questions of my assessment, he tried to speak. I don't know what disturbed me more, the gutteral and garbled sounds he produced in an attempt to respond, or the smell of rotted cancerous flesh that came out with each attempted word. His daughter was angry. She said, "No, he never followed up after last summer when they told him it looked like it coulod be cancer." She was obviously holding back her tears by staying angry and hardened against the pain of seeing her father in such a state.
Today I found out that the surgeons here aren't able to do surgery because the damage is so extensive that they cannot secure a safe airway for him for surgery - even with a tracheostomy. At this point they say the destruction of his lower jaw is almost complete, the tongue is necrotic, the muscles for swallowing are hardened and essentially non-functional. We have begun looking for surgical specialists in the area willing to take on such a high risk patient. And we treat his pain as best we can.
He smoked and chewed until 5 months ago. for tha past 40 years. He's 56. He looks 86.
Sometimes I still wake up afraid that I have already done too much damage to myslef and that this could still end up being me. It could. But I know that by quitting, I have improved my chances significantly. All the crap I went through during the SUCK, all the dealing with cravings and the rage, it was all worth every second of it in order to help reduce the chances I would end up like this fellow I now get to assist in planning for the remainder of his life.
CoachDoc
Day 1514
Oh Shit. That's very powerful Coach. Thank you for sharing. Reading this makes todays quit pretty damn easy.
I don't care what anyone says Coach, seeing these cases is definitely a great motivator to "be quit" ODAAT and NAFAR.
I have the same thoughts as you regarding cancer/death risk.
I quit with you today Coach.
Thanks for sharing Coach. Wish there was a way to get this story to all the users out there.
QLF!
Scary Shit! This story should be up there with all the other intro stories. This would also be a good one for anyone who is afraid to go to the doctor or dentist!
Coach, thanks so much for posting this, very scary, very real, and many of our worst nightmares. This is why I come to the site every day, read, post, and and keep my promise to stay quit with all of you badasses. KTC and all the badass quitters here have saved my life and I truly believe that.
I will always be Coach Jr. Love you man. Quit like fuck with you today.
There ain't nothin "junior" about yer quit!
Proud to be your brother!
Powerful story, thank you for sharing...reading this only strengthens my resolve.
Thanks for the post Doc.
Powerful reading. This is at least in part why we all quit and should be re-read by anyone who thinks they spend too much time on their quit...
We should all make sure that others don't forget the reason we QUIT in the first place
I'll never forget this post. Scared me when it was written, scares me today.
Thanks doc I needed. Helped my quit even more! That's a terrible way to live and die! God bless all the quitters may GOD have mercy on us all! Damn proud to be quit today!