KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: USMC_Ham on April 03, 2018, 08:40:00 AM
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Here is my story. Short and Sweet
It started for me in 2010 while training for the Marines. I told myself it was something to do while getting shit on during training, and I told myself I would quit when I was done. But I was hooked at that point. Then I told myself after College, and after I was done with the Marines. Then I had quit last year for 4 months leading up to the birth of my daughter but once she arrived I let the excuses come back and have been on again off again ever since. I am tired of not having any accountability in my quit. It is easy to cave when nobody knows or cares that it is happening. I want to be around while my daughter is growing up. So this is my final quit.
That is my story
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Glad to hear it!!! You came to the right place because we all care about each other and will hold you accountable on your promise. Reach out to me or anyone on this site if you have any questions !!
Big Red
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Welcome to the best decision of your life. Read all you can. Reach out to new quitters and old alike. Share and exchange numbers. Make it more than just a place to put your name and number. Make a commitment and keep your word. As a marine, you should understand the strength of your word and value keeping it. If you can post, keep your word and do it again the next day, this is the only quit you will ever need. Digits coming
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Welcome to the best decision of your life. Read all you can. Reach out to new quitters and old alike. Share and exchange numbers. Make it more than just a place to put your name and number. Make a commitment and keep your word. As a marine, you should understand the strength of your word and value keeping it. If you can post, keep your word and do it again the next day, this is the only quit you will ever need. Digits coming
Keep posting Ham, here in your thread; it's very therapeutic. A lot of guys do it and it helps. Check out Kybo or JGromo for starters.
Hydration is important the first couple of weeks.
Stick with it, gimmee a holler if you feel like raging, I've got quit ears on. Don't rage at home or at work.
See you in the hall...
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Welcome to the best decision of your life. Read all you can. Reach out to new quitters and old alike. Share and exchange numbers. Make it more than just a place to put your name and number. Make a commitment and keep your word. As a marine, you should understand the strength of your word and value keeping it. If you can post, keep your word and do it again the next day, this is the only quit you will ever need. Digits coming
Keep posting Ham, here in your thread; it's very therapeutic. A lot of guys do it and it helps. Check out Kybo or JGromo for starters.
Hydration is important the first couple of weeks.
Stick with it, gimmee a holler if you feel like raging, I've got quit ears on. Don't rage at home or at work.
See you in the hall...
Short and to the point, these first few days, weeks, etc. are going to suck. Embrace it and enjoy the journey. People are here to help, reach out to them and grab the accountability you seek.
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I am currently sitting at day 5. Huge shout out to all the support here guys. I have already responded to a couple numbers and I hope to get a few more
My biggest problem is that I have been hiding it for the last year or so. I would quit for 1 or two weeks and then cave because it is so easy to talk yourself into a can. I Joined this site because my brother told me about how it helped him quit and stay quit. I am looking for something that I haven't had so far and that is some accountability partners that aren't afraid to call me on my bullshit just like my brother did. That small nic voice is still trying to convince myself that I am not that serious this round, and I have to fight it off every second.
So to those that have reached out I thank you.
Keep in my corner pimps... I am going another round
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Ham,
First let me say get ready for the shit..... But you can absolutely do this. I am not a long time quitter like most of the guys around here but I am a quitter. Dipped for exactly 40 years (Yes 40 fucking years!!!) Me and you brother are going to kick the shit out of the Nic Bitch together.
First big suggestion.............Tell everyone you are quitting. Second big suggestion post, post, post on KTC.
I am here for you and anyone else that needs to be kicked in the ass. Gary (Old guy that is quitting with you young hard dicks).
Gary
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Ham,
First let me say get ready for the shit..... But you can absolutely do this. I am not a long time quitter like most of the guys around here but I am a quitter. Dipped for exactly 40 years (Yes 40 fucking years!!!) Me and you brother are going to kick the shit out of the Nic Bitch together.
First big suggestion.............Tell everyone you are quitting. Second big suggestion post, post, post on KTC.
I am here for you and anyone else that needs to be kicked in the ass. Gary (Old guy that is quitting with you young hard dicks).
Gary
Well said Gary. Dipped 35 years , tried quitting many times. This place works. Just celebrated 3 years quit. Do whatever it takes. Use fake, drink lots of water, post a lot, get involved. The recipe is the same. This place works and nothing else ever has. Trust the process, make your promise on roll every morning and keep your word.
Semper Fi
Todd
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Day number 6
Im not the wordsmith that some of these other cats are in their journey, but last night and tonight has been full of the same choice every few minutes. To be free of the can. Im not going to act like its been all sunshine and rainbows... It has been a few rounds of bare knuckle boxing, but I don't want to let down the July Guys. The Other Guys.
Funny story.
You have to be 18 to buy smokey mountain from walmart. So dont forget your wallets. Shits weak....
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Im not the wordsmith that some of these other cats are in their journey
The world is full of articulate fools. What it's starving for is leadership.
I reckon you've got that by the bushel.
Quit on Marine!
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Day 8 Snitches.
Today I am feeling much better. The wife and kid have gone to the grocery store and I usually take this time to sneak a dip or two but today I am above it. I have turned down the can more times than I can think of and that feels surprisingly good today. I have had the mood swings. I have had the fights with the Mrs. and still came out on top with one less problem. As stupid of an idea as I thought posting on a wall, much less writing a journal for other quit nerds to read, was... I am happy I gave it a try. Just to know that 50+ quit warriors are going to a$$ rape a forum in my name if I don't quit for another day has helped more than I ever thought was possible. So if you are reading this. Give it a try.
So to those that support me... I thank you.
and those who have quit before me... I salute you.
Everybody else has a choice to make....
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Day 10 - Double Digits
I scored a couple of huge victories this weekend. Twice my wife and daughter left me by my lonesome. And twice I chose to remain true to my word. Now did the thought enter my mind? You bet your butt it did. They were two of the most perfect chances to score a dip and know body be the wiser. Except my integrity would be shit. I haven't approached the moment yet, but if I do I hope I make the right choice and reach out instead of reach for.
So I am happy to be in the Double Digits, but the Nic Bitch is still at me. It is crazy how true the addiction is, and if you ever choose to quit you will find that "I am an addict" are the truest fucking words in your quit. If you haven't said them yet, you are kidding yourself, and ignoring how big of a punk the can has made you into.
Quit today. Every Minute. Every Second.
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Day 10 - Double Digits
I scored a couple of huge victories this weekend. Twice my wife and daughter left me by my lonesome. And twice I chose to remain true to my word. Now did the thought enter my mind? You bet your butt it did. They were two of the most perfect chances to score a dip and know body be the wiser. Except my integrity would be shit. I haven't approached the moment yet, but if I do I hope I make the right choice and reach out instead of reach for.
So I am happy to be in the Double Digits, but the Nic Bitch is still at me. It is crazy how true the addiction is, and if you ever choose to quit you will find that "I am an addict" are the truest fucking words in your quit. If you haven't said them yet, you are kidding yourself, and ignoring how big of a punk the can has made you into.
Quit today. Every Minute. Every Second.
I know the feeling, Saturday night Day 12 was driving to pick up take out by myself and the NIC bitch was riding shotgun pestering me saying you need a dip while you drive.
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Day 12
I have officially hit my weight threshold at 230. So that means it is time to start hitting the gym again. Lucky for me I am getting paid monthly to have a gym membership... (Coaching Perks). With every day past day 10 I have started to feel the changes of no tobacco. Primarily though I just feel lighter. I am not carrying a burden anymore, and my relationships with my family are getting stronger. I still have some mood swings, but I am no longer looking to get away from them to steal a dip.
I hate some of the shit I pulled. To have to tell my wife I have been lying to her for the last 3 years was super shitty. But as I saw today you have to build the walls around your quit strong. Burn all the bridges that the Nic Bitch has built in order to fight the fight and win. I told her to question everything, and my usual tricks for dip.
So my last words of encouragement for myself today and to others who need it:
If it is a fair fight you didn't plan it well enough
Quit on
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Day 12
I have officially hit my weight threshold at 230. So that means it is time to start hitting the gym again. Lucky for me I am getting paid monthly to have a gym membership... (Coaching Perks). With every day past day 10 I have started to feel the changes of no tobacco. Primarily though I just feel lighter. I am not carrying a burden anymore, and my relationships with my family are getting stronger. I still have some mood swings, but I am no longer looking to get away from them to steal a dip.
I hate some of the shit I pulled. To have to tell my wife I have been lying to her for the last 3 years was super shitty. But as I saw today you have to build the walls around your quit strong. Burn all the bridges that the Nic Bitch has built in order to fight the fight and win. I told her to question everything, and my usual tricks for dip.
So my last words of encouragement for myself today and to others who need it:
If it is a fair fight you didn't plan it well enough
Quit on
Hey man, glad to see you picked up journal idea....I not known for being wordy....but I sometimes get the diarrhea of the mouth disease....I post journal thoughts in my Intro, that way folks get to read it if they click my signature on posts.....I find it to be great therapy.....just talking about shit and getting feedback....sounded silly at first but it makes a difference
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"...Hope to join you in about 88 all day every days..."
If there's breath in my lungs...
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Day 20
Closing in on the 3rd week of quit and this last week has been brutal. Ended up having to turn down a job that I really wanted because of some miscommunication. It was just pure emotion and then stress. Not happy working in the spot that I am at, but now I might have to stay another year.... Sucks... I was worried that I might talk myself into a cave, so I texted some numbers. Just being able to pop a few shots off down range and not at my wife ( which would have sucked even more because we both would have been Pissed ) was a huge help. But as much as I want it to be, the plan is not my own. ***Jeremiah 29:11***
Problem + Dip = 2 Problems
So a huge shout out to those guys for being there. Helped out a lot.
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Day 34
Just going to post some struggles and victories for the people who think that quitting is impossible...
These last two weeks have been a nightmare of struggles that would have made anyone cave... But not me. Not Today
For starters I am still looking for a new job, and it hasn't come to fruition because my coaching network is relatively small. Anyways. I have had to turn down good jobs and look for relatively bad ones but with good people. It is all coming down to I am going to have to take a pay cut and Me and lady are going to have to struggle for a couple years. With that also being said, we just found out that we are pregnant with our second kid. Which if you have been reading you can kind of figure out that the "Miscommunication" was finding out we were pregnant and We couldn't afford that amount of paycut.
Then It was our kids birthday. We had two parties. One at my Parents and then on at our house. So about 6 hours worth of driving, and then 6 hours worth cleaning for a party. Wife is pissed, which is naturally pissing me off. Great times.
So on the one hand it is like fuck... And on the other it is pure joy. I am stressed looking for a job, stressed that I might have to stay, stressed that we are going to face a struggle, stressed at the unknown, stressed for starting in a new area, and stressed that I know the wife is Preggy P and her mood swings now have teeth, and on top of all of this it is Spring football where I am working 13 - 14 hour days flying by the seat of my pants coaching monkeys how to fuck a football.
So If you are reading this it is sure as shit possible... You just have to want it.
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Doing great Ham, inspiring all who drop in and read your blog. All I remember about being a young father was how cute my fat little babies were. I don't remember the long hauls or the bills or any of that stuff but it was there just the same.
Still, I read your situation and am ashamed as I was bitching about something trivial the other day. I got no bitching rights.
Proud to quit with you today. Lets do it again tomorrow.
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Day 42 -
This has been a hard week fellas. I drove to my interview 4 hours away and 4 hours back, and those are my favorite times to dip. For an interview no less, and boy did I want a can. I resisted it all and Smokey Mountain came in for the win again. I ended up getting the job for a Defensive Coordinator (Back story I am an Offensive guy coaching QBs so I am switching sides of the ball) and It will help me in my journey to become a Head Coach.
With how much I disliked my job, and the struggles I have had in my 3 years there... I hadn't thought about how much I loved my QBs that I have poured my heart and soul into for the last 3 years. To have to tell them that I was leaving because it was the best thing for me and my family freaking broke my heart... And theirs too... It was quit possibly one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Its the first time I have had to deal with heartbreak in my quit. Let me tell you. If I hadn't joined this site I would have caved a long time ago, and I am not out of the woods yet either. The stress is only beginning. Looking for a place to live, Buy a house?, the team isn't very good, daycare, Mother in law, and the list goes on. All of this with the pain of leaving 2 of my "Sons" which is basically what they have been to me the last 3 years. Sucks.... I am not a cryer boys, but this was not enjoyable by any means.
I'm not here to write a sob story gents... I write this so I can look at what all I have made it through... And truthfully I can't let down the guys I have met on here.
Athan keeps picking me up and dusting me off during my journey. Something I am greatful for. For the record he is the kind of guy to text you at 5am to WUPP.... And I love it...
Thanks guy. I am needing it here lately...
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SIX WEEKS. That's a big deal. Thanks for letting me be a part of your quit.
My brother in quit JGromo is fond of saying 1 problem + tobacco = 2 problems. You got that right.
Very cool you were able to display tobacco free manhood to those young men.
I heard it said once that any fool can count the apples on a tree; only God can count the apples in a seed.
To be sure you will bear much good fruit. It is an essential part of manhood to mentor youth.
Had the pleasure of mentoring two young men at the high school today - both of them going into the Navy.
Proud of you Ham. Your battle is hard fought and will therefore be worth more to you than were it not.
See you in the hall...
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Day - 49
Well when it rains it pours....
One of these times this post will be a happy go fuck yourself nic bitch post... But not there yet.
Right after probly the hardest week of quit last week. My daughter decides to scare the ever loving shit out of us. She has been somewhat sick with a temp all week, and she is badass so its hard to tell if she is actually feeling bad when she is sick... Anyways.... Her fever spikes to 104 and she has a seizure and is not getting enough oxygen. She calls the ambulance and they take her to hospital. I get called out of work with the only information of my daughter had a seizure and she is going to the hospital 20 minutes away. So that entire drive I didn't know if my daughter was going to be alive or dead when I got there... Trippy shit... When I do she is just starting to come back from the seizure, her temp is still 104, and her brain is basically rebooting. She couldn't open her eyes or use the muscles in her face. It is hard to watch your baby girl suffer like that man. It turns out she had an acute case of RSV and thats what caused her fever spike. Once it came down, and she opened her eyes you would have never known that it happened. She played and ran around the house like it never happened. Moral of the story, if your child is EVER running a fever pump their ass with tylenol....
It pisses me of that during all of this I had the fucking thought of this as a perfect excuse to cave... But I never had a chance to talk myself into a quit, as my wife was right there to keep me accountable. I didn't need dip to make it through this day. My brain WANTED a dip. Still feel guilty for it.
So if you are reading this life is a bitch to everyone. Especially when you are beasting a 49 day quit.
Quit on fuckers....
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Day - 49
.....if your child is EVER running a fever pump their ass with tylenol....
Have you heard of Reye Syndrome? Look it up if you haven't. Aspirin can kill a child with a fever
Good call with the Tylenol
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Losers stay down. Winners learn, get back up, and keep fighting.
Keep fighting Ham, Keep fighting.
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LetÂ’s go Devil Dog, quit this nasty, disgusting, worthless shit.
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One more day Ham, just one more day
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One more day Ham, just one more day
everyday
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Poof
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One more day Ham, just one more day
everyday
One more day Ham, just one more day.
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@USMC_Ham (https://ktcforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=217) Congrats on your HOF day brother! Man those first few weeks were Hard going friend and you were another Text brother that helped me just bullshiting in those early days. I was hoping your luck would come my way for that big Buck but it didn't, imma out do you this year i promise. Know i am here because you helped me stay quit and its a debt ill never forget. Keep your Knee on that bitch and the foot on the throttle and lets continue to stomp a mud hole in this thing!