KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: jmac07 on October 19, 2011, 08:12:00 PM
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Hello all,
I took my last chew at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday October 15th, 2011 after waking up with a hangover the size of a MACK truck. I had made it through many other hangovers as a nicotine dependent moron. In fact, there were plenty of times before that afternoon where I had found little joy in chewing, but it was that afternoon where I decided that I could make it through the day and night without another chew.
Waking up Sunday morning, it was hard to convince myself not to run to the gas station to pick up another 2 cans of pouches, as I wanted to really commit to the idea of taking time away from chew.
Later that afternoon I found myself heading to the gym, chew free. And when I made it back home I had successfully made it through my first 24 hours of being nicotine free. Feeling proud and accomplished from working out, I decided to fully commit to quitting for the rest of my life. I am 22 years old and graduating college in December. My goal is to make it through each stressful day from here on out, without lowering myself to nicotine and chew.
I found this forum and website while browsing through Twitter trying to pass some time before dinner. Something that I would have used to do with a chew in. Reading through some of the H.O.F. speeches and other members posts, I feel good about taking the next step in my life without chew.
I look forward to reading through many of the thousands of posts on here and getting to know my fellow quitters.
All the best,
JMAC
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We quit 1 day at a time here. We do it by posting roll.
Here is why we post roll: index.php?showtopic=120 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=120)
Here is how we post roll: index.php?showtopic=50 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
Here is where you post roll. index.php?showtopic=50 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
You should join us.
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Your start sounds a lot like mine JMAC. I started by passing the Hess Mart instead of stopping one morning. Just kind of happened. I think that's a good thing. I think - if I had thought about quitting for days and weeks, it never would have held. I would have psyched myself up so much for my quit, I would have celebrated a day of quit with a tin.
You've made the right choice. Glad to see that your reading. I've gained so much from reading the stories on this site and hearing the challenges our brothers have been dealing with.
I look forward to watching and supporting your quit to the HOF and beyond.
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The strongest quits are achieved on the fly. No emotions, no emotional goodbyes, just unadulterated quit. My mantra: Despite what your mind will fool you into believing in the next few weeks, your last dip was shitty. The last 1,000 dips were shitty. Your mind will harken back to that first "aah" moment. Remember that last shitty dip, hold it close, and remember that you quit because dipping made you feel shitty.
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Wow, that is a very well-structured intro. Now back it up with some well-structured QUIT. We'll be watching.
I think wo1miles is right. The folks who plan to quit are causing themselves a problem without knowing it. That path causes too much anxiety over the whole process, which is the last thing an addict needs. You are on the correct path, sir. Carry on. Let me know if I can help you any way.
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Today is my day 5. Tomorrow is my day 6. Yesterday was my day 4, and damn I wouldn't wish that day on anyone. For the better part of the day I sat there thinking over the two options I had. The first was getting a new tin and the second option was getting a gun. That was until I realized I had a third option, and that was to live. I struggled through the headaches, dizzyness, and cravings just so that I could rest my head at night and tell myself that I made it yet another day, and tomorrow will be better.
So here I am on my day 5, and I'm feeling pretty damn good. No withdrawl symptoms, not much craving, but i'll be damned if i haven't thought about dip at least 100 times in the last hour.
Its a great fall afternoon and I'm going to play my first round of golf in the last 8 years without a dip in. To me, that is better than whatever score I mark on my scorecard.
Thanks for all the comments and support, you guys!
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Today is my day 5. Tomorrow is my day 6. Yesterday was my day 4, and damn I wouldn't wish that day on anyone. For the better part of the day I sat there thinking over the two options I had. The first was getting a new tin and the second option was getting a gun. That was until I realized I had a third option, and that was to live. I struggled through the headaches, dizzyness, and cravings just so that I could rest my head at night and tell myself that I made it yet another day, and tomorrow will be better.
So here I am on my day 5, and I'm feeling pretty damn good. No withdrawl symptoms, not much craving, but i'll be damned if i haven't thought about dip at least 100 times in the last hour.
Its a great fall afternoon and I'm going to play my first round of golf in the last 8 years without a dip in. To me, that is better than whatever score I mark on my scorecard.
Thanks for all the comments and support, you guys!
The nic bitch is in full panic mode. Where is my boy?
Keep making us proud. It gets better and better.
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Today is my day 5. Tomorrow is my day 6. Yesterday was my day 4, and damn I wouldn't wish that day on anyone. For the better part of the day I sat there thinking over the two options I had. The first was getting a new tin and the second option was getting a gun. That was until I realized I had a third option, and that was to live. I struggled through the headaches, dizzyness, and cravings just so that I could rest my head at night and tell myself that I made it yet another day, and tomorrow will be better.
So here I am on my day 5, and I'm feeling pretty damn good. No withdrawl symptoms, not much craving, but i'll be damned if i haven't thought about dip at least 100 times in the last hour.Â
Its a great fall afternoon and I'm going to play my first round of golf in the last 8 years without a dip in. To me, that is better than whatever score I mark on my scorecard.Â
Thanks for all the comments and support, you guys!
The nic bitch is in full panic mode. Where is my boy?
Keep making us proud. It gets better and better.
That is so Awesome. Today is my day 4 and that is almost exactly like yesterday was for me. Holy Shit it sucked! My wife came home and thought something was terribly wrong. But there wasnt anything wrong. Everything was right because I was doing something right for ME for once. Today has been so much better. Thanks for sharing your story.
Today is my day 5. Tomorrow is my day 6. Yesterday was my day 4, and damn I wouldn't wish that day on anyone. For the better part of the day I sat there thinking over the two options I had. The first was getting a new tin and the second option was getting a gun. That was until I realized I had a third option, and that was to live. I struggled through the headaches, dizzyness, and cravings just so that I could rest my head at night and tell myself that I made it yet another day, and tomorrow will be better.
So here I am on my day 5, and I'm feeling pretty damn good. No withdrawl symptoms, not much craving, but i'll be damned if i haven't thought about dip at least 100 times in the last hour.Â
Its a great fall afternoon and I'm going to play my first round of golf in the last 8 years without a dip in. To me, that is better than whatever score I mark on my scorecard.Â
Thanks for all the comments and support, you guys!
The nic bitch is in full panic mode. Where is my boy?
Keep making us proud. It gets better and better.
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Greetings all,
Today marks my 1 week and I'm so damn proud of myself. Its been one helluva week with ups and downs, but I have managed to stay strong with the help from all of you.
I know I have a long road ahead of me and that it will never be easy, but through coming to KTC on a daily (sometimes hourly, depending on the crave) it is clear that we are all in this together. Fighting back against our past mistakes. We will not lose.
Days 1-4/5 were a blur. I couldn't focus on anything, my eyes were killing me and I felt like I couldn't do anything. My college classes were tough to sit through and homework seemed unbearable. But by reading through previous posts on KTC I knew that the fog would eventually lift.
I don't regret my decision to quit. I am proud to quit. I've told as many people that I could about my quit, even if they didn't know that I was addicted to dipping. I have received so much support from my family, friends, and the KTC community, I can't thank you all enough.
One quote that I feel is applicable to my quit is that from the movie Friday Night Lights:
"Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose."
This is my mantra. I repeat it every time I have a crave and I find it both calming and strengthening.
Does anyone have any advice or recommendations for Day 8? or Week 2? I would like to hear some of your stories.
To those who may be reading this on their first few days of quit:
It is worth it. You came to KTC for a reason and it is expected of you to commit yourself to quit. You want to and you need to. Death could be hiding in your back pocket, and could come with your next dip. Its not worth it. Sac up and be a man.
Best,
JMAC
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First week is the hardest. Great work.
Here on out its all mind games. You will feel better but every now and then the big ugly nic bitch will show her ugly face. Keep visiting KTC, it will keep your head clear.
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First week is the hardest. Great work.
Here on out its all mind games. You will feel better but every now and then the big ugly nic bitch will show her ugly face. Keep visiting KTC, it will keep your head clear.
Read this. http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp)
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I'm a few hours away from hitting double digits. This is a milestone for me as I had never quit for any time longer than 9 days.
When I went to work in Japan 3 years ago, I brought the legal limit of tobacco over with me as I was unsure how much tins would cost across the pond. Little did I know, that it was unavailable in the town where my I was working and I couldn't speak the language well enough to trace it. Thus, I resorted to smoking cigarettes and stuffing Lipton Tea bags in my lips. Hated both options but the combination of nicotine and an oral fixation helped me through the stressful days tremendously.
With the Nicotine having been out of my system for the last few days, I have been faced with tremendous cravings and mind games which have come at both expected and odd times of the day.
Just yesterday (Saturday) I scarfed down half a Chipolte burrito before making a longer drive home. This would have been one of the many classic formula that once fed my chewing addiction. Food + Driving = Chew. Thankfully, I was prepared with enough seeds, water, gum, and jolly ranchers to retire a dentist to the Bahama's. Later that night I sat around with a few friends drinking beers and watching TV for a few hours, before heading to the bar. After my 3rd or 4th beer, I was really craving one. At the very same time, my roommate had just thrown in, what he now says, his last dip ever. He tried to do it as discretely as possible (even leaving the room) so as not to aggravate me or tempt me, even though the distinct smell really caught my attention. After that big whiff of wintergreen I felt sick and my mind immediately shifted away from chewing.
There are also the unexpected times. When I was on the treadmill for my run this morning, out of nowhere I wanted a chew. Anyone else ever get a craving for chew when working out? I had never chewed while exercising before? Looking back on it, it doesn't even sound enjoyable or comfortable.
I am committed to quit. I will not give into nicotine. However, I am skeptical of trying the Smokey Mountain stuff as I don't know if I can trust it, and secondly, I don't want to tempt my addiction. Seeds/Gum/Candy are one thing, but something so similar to chew really makes me question. Any experience?
Regardless, I will wake up tomorrow to post roll and commit myself to yet another proud day of quit.
Thanks for all of your support! Everyone have a great Monday!
Best,
JMAC
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Well done Jmac!! What I wouldn't give to be 22 again and making the decision you recently made. I'm on day 22...rough stretch last week, but feeling better today.
I've been living on seeds and fake chew from Oregon Mint Snuff Co. The snuff sucks, but the pouches aren't bad.
Stay at it and remember that we're quitting one day at a time.
PM me if u need anything. You're doing great
Gut
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Day 11 and I've never felt more in control of my life than now. I am motivated, proud, but not cocky, and sure as hell not gonna touch that dirt today. Started working out more, putting more effort into tasks, as I no longer feel deserving of a chew break. There are less wasted hours of my day and I am finally sleeping well!
I anticipate cravings and triggers to come soon, but know that I have posted roll and my word is that I will not use today. I've fought them before and I know I can do it again.
Best,
JMAC
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Day 11 and I've never felt more in control of my life than now. I am motivated, proud, but not cocky, and sure as hell not gonna touch that dirt today. Started working out more, putting more effort into tasks, as I no longer feel deserving of a chew break. There are less wasted hours of my day and I am finally sleeping well!
I anticipate cravings and triggers to come soon, but know that I have posted roll and my word is that I will not use today. I've fought them before and I know I can do it again.
Best,
JMAC
Good job JMAC. Some pretty wild shit is on its way to you. Read, read and read some more. Post what you're feeling, good and bad. Protect your quit with your promise and your support network here. Some people on here will give you shit no matter what you post. But if you want to say it, go ahead. It will help you later.
I am the weakest pussy ass addict on this site. If I can quit today you can too.
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ODATT,
Thanks for the note. Can't stop coming back to this thread just so I can sneak a peak at your avatar... 'boob'
I don't know if anyone else is really reading this, and I'm not expecting it to be the talk of KTC, but I really feel like this page/thread is kind of a personal blog to reference when I may be having a hard time, or when I want to look back at my progress.
Today has been pretty easy. A few seeds early in the morning, jolly ranchers on the way to class, a good workout, and I'm now I'm here. In just a few minutes though, I will be making a 2 hour drive back to my hometown to accept a job offer. This will certainly be a stress and anxiety fill car ride as I haven't had to make this drive since being quit, 12 days now. I have posted roll today and promised myself and my brothers/sisters on KTC that I will remain nicotine free for today. This is why I have decided to finally pick up an emergency can of Smokey Mountain pouches.
I really do not want to rely on this stuff and want to keep "cold turkey" as cold as possible... Nevertheless, I don't even know if I'll like this stuff. My goal is to have one today and one tomorrow when I make the two hour drive back to my current residence.
Here's to a nicotine free car ride and a nicotine free day!
Best,
JMAC
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ODATT,
Thanks for the note. Can't stop coming back to this thread just so I can sneak a peak at your avatar... 'boob'
I don't know if anyone else is really reading this, and I'm not expecting it to be the talk of KTC, but I really feel like this page/thread is kind of a personal blog to reference when I may be having a hard time, or when I want to look back at my progress.
Today has been pretty easy. A few seeds early in the morning, jolly ranchers on the way to class, a good workout, and I'm now I'm here. In just a few minutes though, I will be making a 2 hour drive back to my hometown to accept a job offer. This will certainly be a stress and anxiety fill car ride as I haven't had to make this drive since being quit, 12 days now. I have posted roll today and promised myself and my brothers/sisters on KTC that I will remain nicotine free for today. This is why I have decided to finally pick up an emergency can of Smokey Mountain pouches.
I really do not want to rely on this stuff and want to keep "cold turkey" as cold as possible... Nevertheless, I don't even know if I'll like this stuff. My goal is to have one today and one tomorrow when I make the two hour drive back to my current residence.
Here's to a nicotine free car ride and a nicotine free day!
Best,
JMAC
Congrats on the quit and the job. Yes, we read this stuff. I am the 268 view of your thread. 1 day at a time....
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ODATT,
Thanks for the note. Can't stop coming back to this thread just so I can sneak a peak at your avatar... 'boob'
I don't know if anyone else is really reading this, and I'm not expecting it to be the talk of KTC, but I really feel like this page/thread is kind of a personal blog to reference when I may be having a hard time, or when I want to look back at my progress.
Today has been pretty easy. A few seeds early in the morning, jolly ranchers on the way to class, a good workout, and I'm now I'm here. In just a few minutes though, I will be making a 2 hour drive back to my hometown to accept a job offer. This will certainly be a stress and anxiety fill car ride as I haven't had to make this drive since being quit, 12 days now. I have posted roll today and promised myself and my brothers/sisters on KTC that I will remain nicotine free for today. This is why I have decided to finally pick up an emergency can of Smokey Mountain pouches.Â
I really do not want to rely on this stuff and want to keep "cold turkey" as cold as possible... Nevertheless, I don't even know if I'll like this stuff. My goal is to have one today and one tomorrow when I make the two hour drive back to my current residence.Â
Here's to a nicotine free car ride and a nicotine free day!
Best,
JMAC
Congrats on the quit and the job. Yes, we read this stuff. I am the 268 view of your thread. 1 day at a time....
yah man plenty a foke reed this. we just dont all ways comment on it. it takes some time to get to the reely big number a vews.
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This is why I have decided to finally pick up an emergency can of Smokey Mountain pouches.
I really do not want to rely on this stuff and want to keep "cold turkey" as cold as possible... Nevertheless, I don't even know if I'll like this stuff. My goal is to have one today and one tomorrow when I make the two hour drive back to my current residence.
As I'm sure you'll probably hear, there are many differing opinions about using the fake stuff. For me, I tried a few of them and liked Hooch the best, but that's not the point. The point is that you do whatever you need to do in order to keep the real shit out of your system. If that's wrapping a big wad of beef jerky in bubble gum and sucking on that for a couple hours, then that's what you do. In Syndrome's case, Atomic Fireballs...whatever you need. Using the fake stuff does not mean you're less of a quitter than anyone else, and from what I've seen even if you use it regularly, you just get to a point where you don't need it anymore. That happened for me around day 85. Now, if I do get a craving, I just drop in a piece of gum, Altoids, or Werther's Original and I'm good to go.
What ever you need to do in order to stay quit, that's what you do.
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I'm glad to know that people are reading my story. I was just making a side note that this was how I was going to track my progress and I will be frequently posting here.
I ended up buying some Smokey Mountain before hitting the road and waited about 45 minutes to give them a shot. I'm very satisfied with my purchase and feel like no less of a quitter for resorting to them, as they kept me away from the nicotine bitch. I stuck to my goal of only having one, but maybe I'll reward myself with one after some good home cooked dinner! They did seem to dry my mouth up quite a bit, but the flavor is great and satisfies a crave.
Best,
JMAC
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In a few short hours I will be quit for exactly 31 days. That is close to 744 hours without any of that crap in my lip. This may be one of the best feelings I have ever expressed and I can't describe how proud I am of myself and those in KTC who have quit with me. There have certainly been some of the worst days of my life over the last month, but thanks to the KTC community and my commitment to remain quit for TODAY, things always get better.
My advice to any newcomers reading this would be to be as active on KTC as you can. Share everything about your story and take advice whole-heartedly. It sure as hell isn't an easy road ahead of you, but do whatever it takes to make it through the day. The satisfaction you will feel when you lay down for bed at night, knowing that you made it throughout the day without dipping is one of the best feelings.
Keep your head up.
Clear eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose
JMAC07
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In a few short hours I will be quit for exactly 31 days. That is close to 744 hours without any of that crap in my lip. This may be one of the best feelings I have ever expressed and I can't describe how proud I am of myself and those in KTC who have quit with me. There have certainly been some of the worst days of my life over the last month, but thanks to the KTC community and my commitment to remain quit for TODAY, things always get better.
My advice to any newcomers reading this would be to be as active on KTC as you can. Share everything about your story and take advice whole-heartedly. It sure as hell isn't an easy road ahead of you, but do whatever it takes to make it through the day. The satisfaction you will feel when you lay down for bed at night, knowing that you made it throughout the day without dipping is one of the best feelings.
Keep your head up.
Clear eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose
JMAC07
Congrats on your first month...keep up the good work! 'archer'
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In a few short hours I will be quit for exactly 31 days. That is close to 744 hours without any of that crap in my lip. This may be one of the best feelings I have ever expressed and I can't describe how proud I am of myself and those in KTC who have quit with me. There have certainly been some of the worst days of my life over the last month, but thanks to the KTC community and my commitment to remain quit for TODAY, things always get better.
My advice to any newcomers reading this would be to be as active on KTC as you can. Share everything about your story and take advice whole-heartedly. It sure as hell isn't an easy road ahead of you, but do whatever it takes to make it through the day. The satisfaction you will feel when you lay down for bed at night, knowing that you made it throughout the day without dipping is one of the best feelings.
Keep your head up.
Clear eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose
JMAC07
Your bang on bro, things get rough and some days can be awful, but that feeling you get when you lie down in bed knowing your winning another day, makes it all worth while. Great job on the month bud! Proud to be quit with you!
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Woke up this morning and posted roll like I have been doing since I joined you and the rest of the KTC community on October 15, 2011. I took a page out of Syn,drome's book that really brought my quit down to earth and hit me hard. His story explains why his posts read yesterday +1 and I couldn't think of a more fitting role that phrase has become in my quit. Breaking it down into the three words, yesterday plus one, is so simple, but can mean so much. Today I thank syn,drome for sharing his story and for his constant interactions with all the new quits and vets alike. This simple measurement tool saved my life and I thank him for getting me through yesterday.
Also, today is my 50th day quit. I wouldn't have known except for it was highlighted in my quit group's roll page along with Clint5280
1/2HOF day!
Thanks syn,drome!
JMAC
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Woke up this morning and posted roll like I have been doing since I joined you and the rest of the KTC community on October 15, 2011. I took a page out of Syn,drome's book that really brought my quit down to earth and hit me hard. His story explains why his posts read yesterday +1 and I couldn't think of a more fitting role that phrase has become in my quit. Breaking it down into the three words, yesterday plus one, is so simple, but can mean so much. Today I thank syn,drome for sharing his story and for his constant interactions with all the new quits and vets alike. This simple measurement tool saved my life and I thank him for getting me through yesterday.
Also, today is my 50th day quit. I wouldn't have known except for it was highlighted in my quit group's roll page along with Clint5280
1/2HOF day!
Thanks syn,drome!
JMAC
Right on bro. I got to agree that when you boil it down to simple stuff, makes quitting a whole lot clearer. Grats on the half.
And props on figuring anything out that drome scribbles around here. I always figure he's giving futbol scores or something. I dunno.
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Woke up this morning and posted roll like I have been doing since I joined you and the rest of the KTC community on October 15, 2011. I took a page out of Syn,drome's book that really brought my quit down to earth and hit me hard. His story explains why his posts read yesterday +1 and I couldn't think of a more fitting role that phrase has become in my quit. Breaking it down into the three words, yesterday plus one, is so simple, but can mean so much. Today I thank syn,drome for sharing his story and for his constant interactions with all the new quits and vets alike. This simple measurement tool saved my life and I thank him for getting me through yesterday.
Also, today is my 50th day quit. I wouldn't have known except for it was highlighted in my quit group's roll page along with Clint5280Â
1/2HOF day!
Thanks syn,drome!Â
JMAC
Right on bro. I got to agree that when you boil it down to simple stuff, makes quitting a whole lot clearer. Grats on the half.
And props on figuring anything out that drome scribbles around here. I always figure he's giving futbol scores or something. I dunno.
Souli,
I am pretty sure he is speaking Portuguese.
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3 days is huge, buddy. Keep it up!
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3 days is huge, buddy. Keep it up!
Day 50, but thanks