KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: john89 on August 03, 2015, 10:30:00 PM
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17 days today. Now to start my story. I was quit for 24 years before that terrible 1st day that we all wish we could go back to. I'm 25 now and feeling terrible with myself over the year or so of abuse I put myself through. I feel the anger, the anxiety, the depression, the rage, the disappointment, the sadness, the sorrow, the grief. All of the feelings I never felt before all because of a little can. I feel embarrassed to let anyone know I was ever a slave to this stuff. Not sure why I ever started in the first place. But as I sit here typing this with a literal lump in my throat a feel a bit of happiness and hope because I know I will never go back ever. Aside from my hatred for this stuff the real reason why I stopped was my fear of cancer and the things that can be caused from this stuff. In my lifetime I've only been to the dr once and will be making my 2nd trip there this Wednesday to see an ENT dr to look at some white patches in my throat. Say a prayer for me that it is nothing. I'm trying to keep my head high that it's nothing but my mind is getting the best of me. I will be so relieved to find out what is going on and either way I look forward to adding days to my count. I will not die. I will survive.
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17 days today. Now to start my story. I was quit for 24 years before that terrible 1st day that we all wish we could go back to. I'm 25 now and feeling terrible with myself over the year or so of abuse I put myself through. I feel the anger, the anxiety, the depression, the rage, the disappointment, the sadness, the sorrow, the grief. All of the feelings I never felt before all because of a little can. I feel embarrassed to let anyone know I was ever a slave to this stuff. Not sure why I ever started in the first place. But as I sit here typing this with a literal lump in my throat a feel a bit of happiness and hope because I know I will never go back ever. Aside from my hatred for this stuff the real reason why I stopped was my fear of cancer and the things that can be caused from this stuff. In my lifetime I've only been to the dr once and will be making my 2nd trip there this Wednesday to see an ENT dr to look at some white patches in my throat. Say a prayer for me that it is nothing. I'm trying to keep my head high that it's nothing but my mind is getting the best of me. I will be so relieved to find out what is going on and either way I look forward to adding days to my count. I will not die. I will survive.
John I'm glad you're going doc for peace of mind. White patches are read about in alot of the stories here. You will be ok! We do pray for each other here! Learn how to Post Roll let's get you some badass quitters help going! I quit with you today my friend!
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Pab your a good man. I'm glad I'll have you to talk too. We will stay quit today and forever.
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Pab your a good man. I'm glad I'll have you to talk too. We will stay quit today and forever.
Post roll my friend and you will have plenty to talk to!
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Will do
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Nice job posting roll keep doing that one day at a time! I quit with you today and if you need another number shoot me a PM!
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Going to the doc tomorrow. Still feeling the pain and side affects of this garbage. Another day down though.
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Going to the doc tomorrow. Still feeling the pain and side affects of this garbage. Another day down though.
John,
Regardless of what the doc says, make sure you get back in here and stay connected and committed to yoir quit. Most of us have feared that trip to the dentist/doctor. Pm me if you need another number.
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Going to the doc tomorrow. Still feeling the pain and side affects of this garbage. Another day down though.
John,
Regardless of what the doc says, make sure you get back in here and stay connected and committed to yoir quit. Most of us have feared that trip to the dentist/doctor. Pm me if you need another number.
Prayers to you friend! Remember we're all here! Good job posting roll! Proud of you! Quit on!
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Thanks guys. Hopefully the news I get will help me get my mind right.
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Thanks guys. Hopefully the news I get will help me get my mind right.
Mind right? Your mind is in the right place! You are making your promise and keeping it!
For 365 days you have lost to a chopped up plant in a can. You've been harming yourself, lied (you know you've lied about this... We all have), and wasted thousands of dollars. Yesterday you won. Today you are winning. At something you've lost at for 365 days.
Dude this is a big deal. You should pat yourself on the back and be proud. I'm proud as hell to type this to a winner like you. Go in tomorrow and be straight up honest with the doctor. And come back here and type how you frlt walking in there with sweaty palms and pits thinking about your visit. Because you won't ever have to relive that again! One day at a time!
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Thanks guys. Hopefully the news I get will help me get my mind right.
Mind right? Your mind is in the right place! You are making your promise and keeping it!
For 365 days you have lost to a chopped up plant in a can. You've been harming yourself, lied (you know you've lied about this... We all have), and wasted thousands of dollars. Yesterday you won. Today you are winning. At something you've lost at for 365 days.
Dude this is a big deal. You should pat yourself on the back and be proud. I'm proud as hell to type this to a winner like you. Go in tomorrow and be straight up honest with the doctor. And come back here and type how you frlt walking in there with sweaty palms and pits thinking about your visit. Because you won't ever have to relive that again! One day at a time!
Solid. F-ing solid. And when one of my best friends, the legendary worktowin, responds you're sure to gather a following. I'll say this, and I've never said it before, read my intro. My cause for quitting was the same as yours...a persistent throat issue. Difference between you and me is, 18 years of addiction to your one. With that said....it doesn't matter, we're both addicts the same. If I had a sliver of the balls you have to quit at one year compared to the 18 years of slaveship and desperation that lead to my quit....I can't even comprehend it. Do this; donkey punch that nic bitch and end it....f'in Ronda Rousey style.
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Scariest weeks of my my life. Headed in to see the doc today. Just posted roll and feeling a little better. Nothing has ever messed with me this bad. I will never go back to the nic, the hate for this substance is real. I don't even have a desire left in my body for it.
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Scariest weeks of my my life. Headed in to see the doc today. Just posted roll and feeling a little better. Nothing has ever messed with me this bad. I will never go back to the nic, the hate for this substance is real. I don't even have a desire left in my body for it.
Good for you John. Just remember, no matter what the docs tell you in the next couple weeks, you've taken your freedom back for today. Whatever the outcome, you'll have that, so hold onto it tight bud. Proud to quit with you today!
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I now go to the doctor and the dentist and can proudly check "no" for the smoker/nicotine user box. We all quit for some reason, but it's the complete realization that this product will kill you is why we are here everyday.
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Got good news from the doc. Everything looks normal and nothing suspicious. Had a hardcore exam also with the camera through the nose thing to take a good look at my throat. I was scared to death at 1st and a story the doc told me about her youngest cancer patient that died at age 23 due to tobacco. Feeling a lot better now and ready to keep moving forward in my life a nic free person. Thanks to everyone that gave encouraging words. At first I thought this quit thing was all me but I know now we're in this together. Thanks everyone.
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That is great john! I am happy you got the all clear. Now is the time to really commit to this quit. Engage with your group. Make sure you post early every day. Trade numbers and send pm's. Proud to quit with you.
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Thanks Patrick. We will all get through this together.
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Glad to hear this news. Very glad. I'm also glad you documented this. Don't ever forget the fear, and the relief. Be proud. You are doing something great for yourself and are a role model. Proud to quit with you.
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Glad to hear it John. Use it to keep you motivated. No more scary doc appointments due to nicotine. You've got this!
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Thankful to hear the good news John. So sad that dip can take lives at such young ages. I escaped it so far for 38 years by the grace of God! Now relax enjoy your freedom! Quit on!
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Well day 19 is all but over. Kinda a hard day feeling the funk a lil bit but still feel better than I ever did without the nic. Proud to be quit with all you guys. Thanks for the kind words and comments. Day 20 here I come.
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I'm in emmmmm boys. 3 weeks down and still got the rage going against the poison can. Feeling a lot better throat is still on the mend and so is the mouth but my mind is getting clearer. Anxiety feelings still creep up but man I still feel awesome.
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23 days clean. This sore throat has yet to go away. Not sure what to do. Any of you quiters have one for this long. It's driving me crazy
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23 days clean. This sore throat has yet to go away. Not sure what to do. Any of you quiters have one for this long. It's driving me crazy
It will go away. Do 50 push-ups then another 50. Then 50 more. Drink 64 oz of water then run 2 miles. Repeat the whole cycle 3 times. Take a shower and collapse in bed.
The goal is to divert your attention. What you are experiencing is completely normal. 2 of my best friends from this site, Mike from AB and Steakbomb experienced the same thing. Like you, they both got to prove their incredible deeprhroating skillz by taking a camcorder deep deep deep. (Ok that wasn't very nice, but it was such an obvious shot that I had to take it.). Seriously, both of them experienced the anxiety and intense certainty that something was wrong. And something was - both of them were experiencing serious anxiety as the result of beating an addiction into the ground.
You can do this, and you are. Exercise like a madman - work to exhaustion and it will be easier. Proud to quit with you today.
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23 days clean. This sore throat has yet to go away. Not sure what to do. Any of you quiters have one for this long. It's driving me crazy
It will go away. Do 50 push-ups then another 50. Then 50 more. Drink 64 oz of water then run 2 miles. Repeat the whole cycle 3 times. Take a shower and collapse in bed.
The goal is to divert your attention. What you are experiencing is completely normal. 2 of my best friends from this site, Mike from AB and Steakbomb experienced the same thing. Like you, they both got to prove their incredible deeprhroating skillz by taking a camcorder deep deep deep. (Ok that wasn't very nice, but it was such an obvious shot that I had to take it.). Seriously, both of them experienced the anxiety and intense certainty that something was wrong. And something was - both of them were experiencing serious anxiety as the result of beating an addiction into the ground.
You can do this, and you are. Exercise like a madman - work to exhaustion and it will be easier. Proud to quit with you today.
Listen to this man^^^^ he is exactly right! Anxiety is bad in your quit! Another way for nic to work on you mentally! You got this! Quit on!
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23 days clean. This sore throat has yet to go away. Not sure what to do. Any of you quiters have one for this long. It's driving me crazy
It will go away. Do 50 push-ups then another 50. Then 50 more. Drink 64 oz of water then run 2 miles. Repeat the whole cycle 3 times. Take a shower and collapse in bed.
The goal is to divert your attention. What you are experiencing is completely normal. 2 of my best friends from this site, Mike from AB and Steakbomb experienced the same thing. Like you, they both got to prove their incredible deeprhroating skillz by taking a camcorder deep deep deep. (Ok that wasn't very nice, but it was such an obvious shot that I had to take it.). Seriously, both of them experienced the anxiety and intense certainty that something was wrong. And something was - both of them were experiencing serious anxiety as the result of beating an addiction into the ground.
You can do this, and you are. Exercise like a madman - work to exhaustion and it will be easier. Proud to quit with you today.
Listen to this man^^^^ he is exactly right! Anxiety is bad in your quit! Another way for nic to work on you mentally! You got this! Quit on!
Gonna take a little more than 23 days to get yourself rid of some of these things you have done to yourself over the years with tobacco. I had pains and twitches for months after I quit, but now I can tell you I don't have them anymore. Everything you are experiencing will go away eventually. If something doesn't go away see a doctor to get it checked out and then it still will probably be nothing. Quit on!!!! Be strong!!!
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Couldn't have said it better W2W. But one correction. Rather than the camcorder I just had to swallow a bunch if white liquid. End result was he same. Nothing wrong but anxiety. From yes, like steak, beating the crap out of this addiction.
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John you got this. By getting all checked out now, it's a scary visit at first to the doc dentist, but you'll be able to go on knowing you'll never have to worry again. If the anxiety gets really bad modern meds are wonderful your doc will be able to give you something.
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If it helps any, I have had tingling in my tongue since week 2 and I am at day 54 now. Went to the dentist and she said what everyone else on here had told me. You have been fucking up your mouth for 25 years with that crap and now that it isnt there, things are changing and healing. I am now finally getting better day by day and the symptoms are slowly fading. So, I am sure your's will too. It will just take some time for your body to get used to not having backer juice slathered all over it and for it to heal and be normal again.
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If it helps any, I have had tingling in my tongue since week 2 and I am at day 54 now. Went to the dentist and she said what everyone else on here had told me. You have been fucking up your mouth for 25 years with that crap and now that it isnt there, things are changing and healing. I am now finally getting better day by day and the symptoms are slowly fading. So, I am sure your's will too. It will just take some time for your body to get used to not having backer juice slathered all over it and for it to heal and be normal again.
Word. Things will get back to normal with time. Best thing you can do is keep making that daily promise and do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
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If it helps any, I have had tingling in my tongue since week 2 and I am at day 54 now. Went to the dentist and she said what everyone else on here had told me. You have been fucking up your mouth for 25 years with that crap and now that it isnt there, things are changing and healing. I am now finally getting better day by day and the symptoms are slowly fading. So, I am sure your's will too. It will just take some time for your body to get used to not having backer juice slathered all over it and for it to heal and be normal again.
Word. Things will get back to normal with time. Best thing you can do is keep making that daily promise and do whatever it takes to stay clean today.
What is normal? 38 years later I couldn't tell you, but 227 day's of freedom is frigging awesome!
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Feels like I've been raped in the throat. Another day free. I wouldn't hope this on my worst enemy. Stay quit guys.
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Feels like I've been raped in the throat. Another day free. I wouldn't hope this on my worst enemy. Stay quit guys.
Hey buddy, I'm on day 27 now and my throat feels the same way. Becoming a little less at times but it still bothers me. I lay it at the foot of the cross and carry on. I trust that it will get better. No matter what, stay quit cause one thing is for sure...dip WILL NOT help your throat feel better! God bless you my brother. I quit with you today!!!!!
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Feels like I've been raped in the throat. Another day free. I wouldn't hope this on my worst enemy. Stay quit guys.
Hey buddy, I'm on day 27 now and my throat feels the same way. Becoming a little less at times but it still bothers me. I lay it at the foot of the cross and carry on. I trust that it will get better. No matter what, stay quit cause one thing is for sure...dip WILL NOT help your throat feel better! God bless you my brother. I quit with you today!!!!!
Just remember John, a sore throat doesn't feel nearly as badly as esophageal cancer, or a jaw removal, or having your tongue removed. I know it isn't easy, but the sore throat will go away without radiation, chemo, or surgery.
Keep it out of you lip today, and keep the focus forward, you've got this today.
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Well guys 27 days today. Gonna see the dentist in a couple weeks. Just read an article that said the incubation period for mouth cancer is 10 years. Gonna be keeping up on my dentist visits from now on. Things are looking up for me and I'm trying to find things that put my mind at ease. Sitting around thinking and reading about oral cancers is getting old. Stay quit guys.
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Well guys 27 days today. Gonna see the dentist in a couple weeks. Just read an article that said the incubation period for mouth cancer is 10 years. Gonna be keeping up on my dentist visits from now on. Things are looking up for me and I'm trying to find things that put my mind at ease. Sitting around thinking and reading about oral cancers is getting old. Stay quit guys.
We cannot change the past.
We cannot control the future.
We can own today.
Proud to quit with you today, even if you have been throat raped. Ha.
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Well guys 27 days today. Gonna see the dentist in a couple weeks. Just read an article that said the incubation period for mouth cancer is 10 years. Gonna be keeping up on my dentist visits from now on. Things are looking up for me and I'm trying to find things that put my mind at ease. Sitting around thinking and reading about oral cancers is getting old. Stay quit guys.
We cannot change the past.
We cannot control the future.
We can own today.
Proud to quit with you today, even if you have been throat raped. Ha.
Hey John you can worry about the sun shining tomorrow or if your cars gonna crank when you get off work. What I'm saying is, there's things in life we have no control of. We can however enjoy our lives to the fullest one day at a time knowing that we are free from nic. No one's promised tomorrow so let's enjoy today and worry about what's gonna happen tomorrow, tomorrow! Quit on my friend!
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Day 30 tomorrow. It's still a struggle and I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I feel like I'm on the right path. I would like to thank all you guys for the help and the comments.
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Day 30 tomorrow. It's still a struggle and I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I feel like I'm on the right path. I would like to thank all you guys for the help and the comments.
Congratulations on a month dude! That is huge!
One day at a time it will keep getting better.
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Another day down and I'm lovin it. Throat problems are some what gone. I'm staying quit for good one day at a time.
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Another day down and I'm lovin it. Throat problems are some what gone. I'm staying quit for good one day at a time.
John you are killing it. Keep pushing forward one day at a time. There will be bumps on the road occasionally, but you gave navigated through one hell of a storm very well. Clearer skies are ahead.
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Another day down and I'm lovin it. Throat problems are some what gone. I'm staying quit for good one day at a time.
John you are killing it. Keep pushing forward one day at a time. There will be bumps on the road occasionally, but you gave navigated through one hell of a storm very well. Clearer skies are ahead.
One month, before you know it, one year! Keep doing what you're doing, pay it forward reach out to some of the newbies in your group, remember how it was for you and how you couldn't wait to see who was supporting you! Some make it alone in this daily battle, but I'm damn proud to have all the badass quitters beside me! Quit on my friend!
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Day 32 and still clean. Everyday I work as hard as I can to stay clean. I wish the best for all going down this road with me. And for those not yet with us I wish they were. I'm a quitter today.
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5 weeks clean and still healing up.
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5 weeks clean and still healing up.
Awesome work John.
5 weeks ago you were a different man than you are today. Lots more upside ahead. Remember - there is no "just one". There is a great freedom, though, and a sense of pride like you've never felt before. Congratulations on a great achievement!
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5 weeks clean and still healing up.
Awesome work John.
5 weeks ago you were a different man than you are today. Lots more upside ahead. Remember - there is no "just one". There is a great freedom, though, and a sense of pride like you've never felt before. Congratulations on a great achievement!
5 weeks is huge my friend! Be proud of every damn second. Stay involved and remember take what you need and leave the rest! Proud to be quit with you today my brother!
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48 days. Still fighting for my freedom and things are getting better everyday.
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48 days. Still fighting for my freedom and things are getting better everyday.
7 frigging week's is badass! Keep doing what you're doing, obviously it works, don't change a thing! Quit on my brother!
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48 days. Still fighting for my freedom and things are getting better everyday.
7 frigging week's is badass! Keep doing what you're doing, obviously it works, don't change a thing! Quit on my brother!
Nice. Take a minute and read your first few posts. Aren't you glad you'll never have to go through that again???
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Well went to the dentist finally and they said my mouth was in great shape. I could use this as an excuse to start packin the cans again but I more things in my life to worry about than some terrible mouth cancer. Thanks all for the help. I'm staying quit every day one day at a time.
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You're the man, John.
Proud of you.
We're quit.
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Great news, Bro!!
I stay quit with you!!
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Fighting with you John every damn day. Stay quit with me bro
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Well went to the dentist finally and they said my mouth was in great shape. I could use this as an excuse to start packin the cans again but I more things in my life to worry about than some terrible mouth cancer. Thanks all for the help. I'm staying quit every day one day at a time.
Great news John! Stay free it's awesome! Ain't it nice to wake up and your mouth not taste like someone took a shit in it? Quit on! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Well went to the dentist finally and they said my mouth was in great shape. I could use this as an excuse to start packin the cans again but I more things in my life to worry about than some terrible mouth cancer. Thanks all for the help. I'm staying quit every day one day at a time.
Great news John! Stay free it's awesome! Ain't it nice to wake up and your mouth not taste like someone took a shit in it? Quit on! Damn proud to be quit with you!
Awesome news. Don't forget the anxiety nicotine caused you. Fuck that. You are winning!!!
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Thanks for the kind words guys. I won't let any of you down or myself I'm quit with all of you.
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Man time flies almost 10 weeks or so. Can't wait till I hit the year mark. This poison left its mark on me though, throat still feels wrecked every now and then. Fantom mouth pains and such. Cravings show up sometimes, but my quit game is strong. Best thing I ever did was quit, worst thing I ever did was start.
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Man time flies almost 10 weeks or so. Can't wait till I hit the year mark. This poison left its mark on me though, throat still feels wrecked every now and then. Fantom mouth pains and such. Cravings show up sometimes, but my quit game is strong. Best thing I ever did was quit, worst thing I ever did was start.
Great update! 10 weeks is bad ass. The mind games and craves can be maddening, but you are learning the tools to make winning routine. Nice work!
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88 days dip free if my math is correct. Any of you guys still get weird mouth pains every so often. I get this weird feeling under my tongue now. Throat is still totaled. Man I hate that can. RIP to the can.
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88 days dip free if my math is correct. Any of you guys still get weird mouth pains every so often. I get this weird feeling under my tongue now. Throat is still totaled. Man I hate that can. RIP to the can.
Hiya John,
I just read your intro and you have the beginnings of a solid and permanent quit going. All kinds of weird sensations in my mouth for the first 6 months or so for me. Just keep going ODAAT brother, and you will find yourself finally living and not "just surviving".
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88 days dip free if my math is correct. Any of you guys still get weird mouth pains every so often. I get this weird feeling under my tongue now. Throat is still totaled. Man I hate that can. RIP to the can.
Hiya John,
I just read your intro and you have the beginnings of a solid and permanent quit going. All kinds of weird sensations in my mouth for the first 6 months or so for me. Just keep going ODAAT brother, and you will find yourself finally living and not "just surviving".
Hi john.
I'm not much of a lecturer, but if my math is right im on 1026 and Rdad is on 693. I don't think either of us have missed posting a day. I won't speak for Jerry, but roll saved my quit several times. If you really want to nail the coffin shut, follow our lead. It works.
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88 days dip free if my math is correct. Any of you guys still get weird mouth pains every so often. I get this weird feeling under my tongue now. Throat is still totaled. Man I hate that can. RIP to the can.
Hiya John,
I just read your intro and you have the beginnings of a solid and permanent quit going. All kinds of weird sensations in my mouth for the first 6 months or so for me. Just keep going ODAAT brother, and you will find yourself finally living and not "just surviving".
Hi john.
I'm not much of a lecturer, but if my math is right im on 1026 and Rdad is on 693. I don't think either of us have missed posting a day. I won't speak for Jerry, but roll saved my quit several times. If you really want to nail the coffin shut, follow our lead. It works.
John you got way to much to celebrate, 88 days is badass! Enjoy your quit! Quit worrying about mouth issues my friend, it's trying to heal itself after all the years of abuse. If it becomes an annoying issue go get it checked out. My tongue is sore along with my throat 292 days later. Been doing that off and on the whole time. Doing great my friend, enjoy life, don't waste any of your freedom! Quit on!
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100 days tomorrow.
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100 days tomorrow.
Well here's to just a bit early 100 day's john! Congratulations my friend! Damn proud to be quit with you! Quit on and be proud!
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You are the man Pab. Helped me a lot through this terrible ordeal. I'm ready to knock out a 100 more.
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You are the man Pab. Helped me a lot through this terrible ordeal. I'm ready to knock out a 100 more.
Congratulations sir. 100 is great. Post roll every day and keep celebrating, because it gets even better. Quit with you today!