KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: 916quit on September 18, 2012, 11:41:00 AM
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day three here. 25 years "in the game". It's a hate love relationship. Wish i had a chew in now typing this.......that is what sucks. Dip is woven into every fabric of my life. I may not have one in all the time but rest assurred if I'm: Working at my computer (work from home), Mowing the lawn, Fixing something/ anything around the house, playing golf, playing a board game, reading, driving, drinking beers. watching sports, etc......you get the point.
I'm tired of thinking every sore throat and irritated area in my mouth is "the big one". I have to say i am an abosoute ass. I get oral cancer checkup each year at the dentist. the fear and promises i make to myself and god waiting for that scan and to have the nerve to pop in a chew on the way home -WTF.
i already told my wife not to expect much work to get done around here (HAHAHAHA).
oh well, i feel good, my mouth feels good. sucked it up and looked at some of the pics on this sight (always terrified to look). I'm not going down that way.
wish me luck! same to all of you.
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day three here. 25 years "in the game". It's a hate love relationship. Wish i had a chew in now typing this.......that is what sucks. Dip is woven into every fabric of my life. I may not have one in all the time but rest assurred if I'm: Working at my computer (work from home), Mowing the lawn, Fixing something/ anything around the house, playing golf, playing a board game, reading, driving, drinking beers. watching sports, etc......you get the point.
I'm tired of thinking every sore throat and irritated area in my mouth is "the big one". I have to say i am an abosoute ass. I get oral cancer checkup each year at the dentist. the fear and promises i make to myself and god waiting for that scan and to have the nerve to pop in a chew on the way home -WTF.
i already told my wife not to expect much work to get done around here (HAHAHAHA).
oh well, i feel good, my mouth feels good. sucked it up and looked at some of the pics on this sight (always terrified to look). I'm not going down that way.
wish me luck! same to all of you.
Welcome brother!! This is a no nic site, so no patches or that nic gum bullshit...
First thing you need to do is go post roll: How to post roll (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
In your new quit group: December'12 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7001)
That means you'll reach 100 days or the Hall of Fame, in December. More importantly, posting roll! Posting roll call everyday is giving your word to your new quit bro's and sisters that you will be quit TODAY. Load up on water, seeds, hard candy and cranberry juice and get ready to fight the nic bitch, because she will bring it to you.
Jump into chat every once in awhile, reach out to other quitters and exchange numbers...strengthens your quit. Brotherhood, Accountability and Success...that's what this site offers.
PM me if you have any questions or want my number!
I quit with you today,
Bruce
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i appreciate that and will.
no worries tried the gum a year ago, absolute waste of time and money.
thanks
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916,
Stay strong, because Bruce is right, the nic bitch will bring it hard! You will be in HOF December with me and many others. I am quit today with you as well (day 8). If you need to, PM me or one of the others. Stay strong and we'll get through this.
Dozer
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916 - Welcome to the December Quit Group. I quit with you today and will be there for you tomorrow. Can't wait to see you at Roll Call.
Your story is the exact same as mine (and so many others in here). Everything was my trigger. Sports, driving, computer, work, pumping gas, reading the paper....you get it. I'm 16 days in and the triggers are getting a lot easier. Stay strong and reach out when you feel pressure to cave. We'll be here for you.
Jax
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916...
Congrats on your decision! Just like you, I thought that I couldn't do anything without a dip in. Well, you will learn with each day that you do not need the nicbitch. She is sneaky, tricky little bitch. She will whisper you sweet lies just to get you to come back for her. Follow the simple rules of this website and you will stay quit. Exercise and drinking plenty of water really helps. This website has helped me stay quit for 129 days now, and I like you, will continue to stay quit one day at a time. Rely on your brothers here, we are are here for each other!
Helms
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YOu say you wish you had a chew in while typing this. I have to ask you , why? Does it make your keyboard work better? Make you prose more elegant? Seriously , besides relieving the withdrawal symptoms that it created to begin with, what do you imagine chew does for you?
I think uncovering this will help you tremendously, that statement about wishing you had a dip , smells like impending failure to me.
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916,
You came to the right place to quit! Welcome Brother! You will be overwhelmed with the amount of support you will receive here! We have all been where you are right now, and we can honestly say... it does get better! Read as much as you can on this site, post roll every morning, get into live chat, and get numbers of other quitters to strengthen your quit! Take it one day at a time and you will make it through this!
By the way, I like the number 916, it's my area code!
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day three here. 25 years "in the game". It's a hate love relationship. Wish i had a chew in now typing this.......that is what sucks. Dip is woven into every fabric of my life. I may not have one in all the time but rest assurred if I'm: Working at my computer (work from home), Mowing the lawn, Fixing something/ anything around the house, playing golf, playing a board game, reading, driving, drinking beers. watching sports, etc......you get the point.
I'm tired of thinking every sore throat and irritated area in my mouth is "the big one". I have to say i am an abosoute ass. I get oral cancer checkup each year at the dentist. the fear and promises i make to myself and god waiting for that scan and to have the nerve to pop in a chew on the way home -WTF.
i already told my wife not to expect much work to get done around here (HAHAHAHA).
oh well, i feel good, my mouth feels good. sucked it up and looked at some of the pics on this sight (always terrified to look). I'm not going down that way.
wish me luck! same to all of you.
No luck from me! There is no luck involved in quitting, it takes determination and balls. Post roll early everyday and then have the integrity to keep your word! This will be one of the hardest things you've ever done but one of the most rewarding.. Seek and give help!
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Last Activity: Sep 18, 2012, 11:05 am
Fail
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no fail- on the road yesterday.
i don't know if i signed up to roll call right and how to check in each day....
tomorrow i go to the devis den. golfing and drinking, MANY chewers in the group of 8.
some please let me know about role call.
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no fail- on the road yesterday.
i don't know if i signed up to roll call right and how to check in each day....
tomorrow i go to the devis den. golfing and drinking, MANY chewers in the group of 8.
some please let me know about role call.
I am actually going to point you towards this posting
index.php?showtopic=7140 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=7140)
it is a combination of the welcome center given to you in a step by step fashion to help.
read it and learn it quicky as you are going into a very dangerous situation that even experienced quitters have failed under.
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YOu say you wish you had a chew in while typing this. I have to ask you , why? Does it make your keyboard work better? Make you prose more elegant? Seriously , besides relieving the withdrawal symptoms that it created to begin with, what do you imagine chew does for you?
I think uncovering this will help you tremendously, that statement about wishing you had a dip , smells like impending failure to me.
Skoal -to me chew DID make EVERTYTHING a little better. Can't explain it -just an addiction. It's not secret.
i expect "impending failure" to loom every day for awhile - i realize that.
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YOu say you wish you had a chew in while typing this. I have to ask you , why? Does it make your keyboard work better? Make you prose more elegant? Seriously , besides relieving the withdrawal symptoms that it created to begin with, what do you imagine chew does for you?
I think uncovering this will help you tremendously, that statement about wishing you had a dip , smells like impending failure to me.
Skoal -to me chew DID make EVERTYTHING a little better. Can't explain it -just an addiction. It's not secret.
i expect "impending failure" to loom every day for awhile - i realize that.
If chew makes everything better, why are you quitting then?
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I said "did". Just how I saw it may not apply to any/all of you. I'm quiting cause I am done with all the worrying. Not worth it anymore. No fucking way I'm getting half my face chopped off over this shit. Put a gun in my mouth first. Hope this answers any and all questions on my motive here.
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Good answer...
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I said "did". Just how I saw it may not apply to any/all of you. I'm quiting cause I am done with all the worrying. Not worth it anymore. No fucking way I'm getting half my face chopped off over this shit. Put a gun in my mouth first. Hope this answers any and all questions on my motive here.
Congrats - as another step in the right direction.
You have looked down deep inside and have written down why you are quit.
Keep it closeby, since as an addict you will want to reference this during the down/lows of the ride you will be on, when the nic bitch starts to whisper in your ear.
And remember be selfish as this quit is all you....make the decision and stand firm.
If you do that I will quit with you today.
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You did better a posting roll today. Remember to "cut" first, don't copy. Remove the text from the lower box and move it to the top box, then add your name in the appropriate place. You'll get it.
Just try to do it quickly to avoid bumping others. Bumping others happens, but posting quickly helps avoid bumping multiple folks.
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day 12. first few days sucked. the last few not so bad just drinking tons of fucking water and peeing like 30 times a day. so from time to time i'm thinking "hmm, maybe i'm not so bad. heck i can handle this. Maybe i just have a chew on certain occasions, or lets say 1 day... that one kill you".. THis dumbass thought goes through my head 1 or 2 times a day. this thought used to get me EVERY other time i TRIED to quit. she has a way of convincing you that you can handle it.
she's a tricky little bitch but i am on to her game
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day 12. first few days sucked. the last few not so bad just drinking tons of fucking water and peeing like 30 times a day. so from time to time i'm thinking "hmm, maybe i'm not so bad. heck i can handle this. Maybe i just have a chew on certain occasions, or lets say 1 day... that one kill you".. THis dumbass thought goes through my head 1 or 2 times a day. this thought used to get me EVERY other time i TRIED to quit. she has a way of convincing you that you can handle it.
she's a tricky little bitch but i am on to her game
Good on you 916 for recognizing one of the most common traps. "You are such a good quitter, of course you can handle 1...".
No, just like the rest of us, you are an addict. There is no such thing as just 1 if you are an addict. After 230 days quit she still whispers that line to me, it is just getting easier to ignore. But it is still there...
Hang in there. It will get better...
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Tell us about yourself 916...how long did you dip before you quit? Why are you quiting? How are you going to ensure that you stay quit? WHat are you gonna do when you just cant take it anymore and feel you have to have a dip? Whats your plan?
MOA
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42 yr old, 25 year kodiak guy. quiting because i'm tired worrying about every sore throat and mouth irritation. those sore throats and irritations come with many sleepless nights swearing to God that if he gets me through the night i will never chew again. so.........sore throat gone, chew in, the big FU to the big guy becuase i don't need him at the moment because i don't have cancer YET....
i am tired of that game. Aside from that i ran out of all excuses "when i finish college i'll quit" "when i turn 25 i'll quit" "when i get married i'm done" "when my child comes it's over" "when i turn 40...." I mean seriously, look how stupid that looks written down.
so, i just woke up 2 sundays ago and decided this was the real quit. found this site, looked at mouth cancer pics for the first time (would NEVER look at them) and read Randy's story. that is enough for now.
point of this original post was to be careful. I have dropped many times thinking "i don't have a problem"
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42 yr old, 25 year kodiak guy. quiting because i'm tired worrying about every sore throat and mouth irritation. those sore throats and irritations come with many sleepless nights swearing to God that if he gets me through the night i will never chew again. so.........sore throat gone, chew in, the big FU to the big guy becuase i don't need him at the moment because i don't have cancer YET....
i am tired of that game. Aside from that i ran out of all excuses "when i finish college i'll quit" "when i turn 25 i'll quit" "when i get married i'm done" "when my child comes it's over" "when i turn 40...." I mean seriously, look how stupid that looks written down.
so, i just woke up 2 sundays ago and decided this was the real quit. found this site, looked at mouth cancer pics for the first time (would NEVER look at them) and read Randy's story. that is enough for now.
point of this original post was to be careful. I have dropped many times thinking "i don't have a problem"
Sheesh, I could have just copy-and-pasted what you wrote when I introduced myself to the group 46-days ago. Everything you've said, I've experiences myself several times over the years. It's a great feeling to know I won't be doing it tonight, or tomorrow night, etc.
Good luck with the quit. Use this group as much as you need, but definitely do use it and ray quit!
-Indy
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Thanks for sharing...your story is nearly identical to my own and most everyone here. It sounds like you have the right mindset. Advice: Read everything here, be active, and reach out for help...my digits are only a request away. I believe that you mean it and I look forward to reading your HOF speech.
MOA
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1) I don't need a chew to take a shit (obvious but should be stated)
2) I can drive down the road without a chew
3) The lawnmower, chainsaw and blower actually work without a chew in
4) The NY Jets suck whether I am chewing or not
5) I don't putt better with a chew in
6) I can do that stupid task at work without having to pop one in
7) I can drink beer without having a plug for every other one. (Although this is the hardest one as "she" knows when I'm drinking
8) The Yankees dont need my "lucky chew" to pull out that extra inning game
I am certain there are more but this is good start
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I have learned some of the same things over the last 16 days. Quit with you today.
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1) I don't need a chew to take a shit (obvious but should be stated)
2) I can drive down the road without a chew
3) The lawnmower, chainsaw and blower actually work without a chew in
4) The NY Jets suck whether I am chewing or not
5) I don't putt better with a chew in
6) I can do that stupid task at work without having to pop one in
7) I can drink beer without having a plug for every other one. (Although this is the hardest one as "she" knows when I'm drinking
8) The Yankees dont need my "lucky chew" to pull out that extra inning game
I am certain there are more but this is good start
The longer you stay quit the longer the list gets and the better it feels. But beware the urge to go back and see if its true is always there and you will be tempted over and over again. I'm quit with you today!
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Nice starter list. It will grow to epic proportions within the next year.
The biggest and best items will probably come during the upcoming holidays. Hands down my personal best day was my first Christmas after I quit. I'm in December 2010 HOF, so the quit was fresh. Turns out my kids can open gifts without my breathing wintergreen death stench in their faces. It was truly awesome to spend the entire day with my family. Not once did I have to scramble for a reason to lie to them and go outside. NOT ONCE. I spent most of the day on the floor playing with Legos.
Congratulations, bro.
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thanks to all.
"breathing wintergreen death stench" at Christmas -LOL
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Beware of that beer. Beer is the strongest trigger for me. Do not torture yourself. You may want to give up drinking for a while, such as the first 90 days of your quit. Another option is to drink something you do not normally drink such as white wine. It works for me. Hang in there.
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Beware of that beer. Beer is the strongest trigger for me. Do not torture yourself. You may want to give up drinking for a while, such as the first 90 days of your quit. Another option is to drink something you do not normally drink such as white wine. It works for me. Hang in there.
Wise. Very, very wise. I completely quit drinking for several months when my quit was shiny and new.
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Getting ready to play. Lets make sure I got everything. Balls-check, tees-check, shoes-check, clubs-Check, nic bitch-......WTF is she doing here! Fuck you bitch out you go!
Every fucking time she is relentless!
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Fuck that. Good call on staying strong. Who said you can't play golf, fish, or hunt without dipping? Of course you can.
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Fuck that. Good call on staying strong. Who said you can't play golf, fish, or hunt without dipping? Of course you can.
Of course you can. However very fresh quitters might want to avoid these big triggers at first, then take them on one at a time. My first fishing trip and first poker/beer night were tough, the craves were strong. I was proud to get through them, and now there is no doubt I can.
If golf remains tough, take your phone and txt a pal, each hole if necessary. Give them the play by play, including the not dipping part...
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Thanks. That was my point. I'm 41 days in and think all is cool but she keeps popping up. Word to all is she does not give up. I wrote that when I was putting my shoes on and "she" kept nagging me.
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Thanks. That was my point. I'm 41 days in and think all is cool but she keeps popping up. Word to all is she does not give up. I wrote that when I was putting my shoes on and "she" kept nagging me.
found my stash of fresh cubans around the 70's if I recall.......the bitch is patient...for sure......
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Thanks. That was my point. I'm 41 days in and think all is cool but she keeps popping up. Word to all is she does not give up. I wrote that when I was putting my shoes on and "she" kept nagging me.
found my stash of fresh cubans around the 70's if I recall.......the bitch is patient...for sure......
Not worried about the PC aspect of it, but why do we refer to our addiction as female? Is it the constant nagging? The love from our past that still resonates at times? Our illogical passion and desire? Our tendency to displace our own shortcomings onto our spouses? Is it acceptable to be controlled and pestered by a woman but emasculating if we're controlled by another man, or God forbid, our own faulty wiring?
Whatever. Fuck you nic bitch. I will not chew tobacco today.
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I'm 50 + days in. Read a few posts about coffee grounds helping out - now I'm 2 days in a row with fucking folgers! WTF! Stupid shit an addict will do...
Fuck it -No nic tho :)
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I'm 50 + days in. Read a few posts about coffee grounds helping out - now I'm 2 days in a row with fucking folgers! WTF! Stupid shit an addict will do...
Fuck it -No nic tho :)
Whatever it takes to keep the worm dirt out of your mouth. Nice job. You won't get addicted to coffee grounds, you will give it up easily when you don't need it any longer.
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I'm 50 + days in. Read a few posts about coffee grounds helping out - now I'm 2 days in a row with fucking folgers! WTF! Stupid shit an addict will do...
Fuck it -No nic tho :)
Whatever it takes to keep the worm dirt out of your mouth. Nice job. You won't get addicted to coffee grounds, you will give it up easily when you don't need it any longer.
IÂ’m seeing a lot of caves lately, anywhere from a month in, a year later and 6 years later. It is pretty scary.
I’m not a vet here but here’s my 2 cents for new quitters. I’m 72 days in but it still feels like yesterday I put down the can. I don’t get the bad craves all the time like I did the first week so it’s not like I am banging my head on the wall looking for a way for the pain to stop and thinking I need a dip to help me. For me it’s the triggers that start the planned cave. Triggers like golf, vid gaming, sporting events, drinking beer, etc (we all have our own). I did not understand what “planned cave” meant until I realized that I do it all the time. I told diplessinjax (in my group) a few weeks back that my fucked up addicted mind plans a cave a few times a week. Scared the shit out of him.
To me the “planning” is a passing thought but in the 30 seconds (maybe less) I usually figure out the fastest way to get to the store, how quiet I need to be if the wife is home (can’t run down to the c-store at 11pm without a good reason so I would need to sneak out- she knows I’m quit) and last but certainly not least, how easy it would be to just log back on to KTC in the morning and lie to all of you by not saying anything (because I’m just going to do this one and I’m not gonna hurt anyone). I said 30 seconds, it might take 10 seconds for my addiction to try and convince me to fuck over my family, everyone on KTC and wreck my self respect.
Posting is VITAL. At first I did not quite understand why “I” had to post every day. “fuck, I got this”…“I don’t need to post”……….but now I see why the vets on the site require it. It drags my ass to the site everyday where if find myself not only posting roll but learning more and more about my addiction and how to fight it.
My point to new quitters is to expect to find yourself planning quits and prepare for it. I am thankful to have my wife fully engaged in my quit and there when I get weak as well as this site to reinforce me when I am strong
In my opinion no cave is unplanned. They take time to execute and donÂ’t happen by accident.
Stay vigilant in your quit.
I hope this helps someone
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Update Day 115
Up because I just canÂ’t seem to seep tonight. IÂ’m in bed wondering what the show would look like if Discovery combined Amish Mafia with Moonshiners?
Anyway I have not updated my intro in some time. I plan to be here for awhile so I figure it be best I track it here.
1) Still no avatar. The procrastinator in me loves the thought that I will find the best one “tomorrow”. Since it is not interfering with my quit I suppose I can oblige that side of me.
2) I’m actually on day 117. A long time ago I realized the guys keeping track had me down as 9.18 quit date. I always laughed to myself thinking “do they not get 916quit. Again, not interfering with my quit so who gives a fu**. Mike or Matt, if you run across this feel free to update that and give me 2 days credit.
3) I’m kinda lost. Although I have absolutely no desire or crave for Kodiak any longer something is missing. My entire old routine is shot. I go to bed much earlier as I have no interest in playing Halo on Xbox Live anymore until 2am. Me, this fuc**ing 42 year old white dude dueling it out with some 12 year old Asian kid at midnight just never really made sense to most of the guys I hang out with. So, that is off the table and literally gave me back hours each night which the “morning me” absolutely loves. I find myself eating breakfast now instead of tossing one in first thing and burning right through that “hassle”. No joking, breakfast a lot of times was a hassle cause it “slowed me down”. Ok, so now I have my Cherrio’s each day, along with piles of other stuff that hast lead to some weight gain which I will get to. My work really suffered the first 80 or so days and I still don’t think my output is 100% yet. You see I work from home and would literally chain chew all day long. I had trouble focusing for a long time –not by days but I would sit at my pc and literally just cover what I needed to do to hold down my job. I broke down somewhere in the 40’s (I think) and grabbed some Smokey Mountain. It has helped me ton at my desk and when I golf. All my friends chew and at one point asked me about it, I kindly replied “it’s not the same but eff it, I can swallow the juice when I need to and eat it when I’m done” not too bad huh. I think the “missing” issue for me at the moment has to do with the fight against the craves. I found myself going to bed each night saying “another day down, it’ll get better tomorrow” and I would wake up the next day thinking of chew, wanting to chew, planning a nice little cave for myself and I spent much of my day fighting that part (physical addiction) and being proud when I laid down each night that I made it. Somewhere at 80 or so getting through the day without thinking of Kodiak arrived and the, what I would call “struggle” seemed to go away. So I sit here knowing I will never, ever and I mean ever, chew again but still adjusting to undoing 28 years wrapped around that stupid can. Although this physical addition “struggle” seems to be gone I am keenly aware of the dangers that lurk in the shadow waiting to knock at my door when I am weak. This is why I will continue to post each and every day and stay close to KTC. I would not know as much as I do today without learning from all the brothers and sisters war against this addiction. This is a war for me, not a battle. 100 days was a battle.
4) Weight. Yup, just like the others. I threw on solid 18lbs. This part SUCKS! I did (and still do) have a little fun stuffing garbage in my face each night. I figured I was earning the right and you know what, fu** it I did earn the right so if I each night i stuffed my face with a half a bag of Oreos who cares. So, I used to run a lot. Not a big long distance guy but 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week. I got way from that about 2 years ago so I would get into spurts and run for a month here or there. One Sunday right after Thanksgiving I’m sitting on the couch getting ready for some football. Remember I am still in this whole “missing thing” so chew is off the table and I don’t really wanna grab a beer at noon to fill the old void (had many of those the fist 30 days, ugly)…… so I decide that I’m gonna give my fat ass a nice little run. I lace them up and head out on run to nowhere. I end up literally limping in after a 6 mile run. Now I have been in a fog on the couch for 2 ½ months, put on about 15 or so pounds and have not run 6 miles in about 5 yrs. Yep, I gave myself Capsulits in my right foot and could not walk for about three days. Running was off the table for at least a few weeks so , back to the couch. I got up to 216 (I should be around 195 and had never gotten north of 210) and called my buddy to tell him I was gonna go for 220 just for fu** sake. Sadly I did try but actually lost weight. Got back to running last week, the weight issue I will go away.
5) Strange stuff. I donÂ’t at all know if this is related but my heart has been racing, strange beats for a few months now. I went to my doc and cardiologists and got tests done and they say it is fine. It does not feel fine. Again, I am not sure if it is related to stopping nic (even as I sit at 115) but if anyone has insight PLEASE get back to me.
6) Regrets so far. I do regret one thing. I missed posting about 3 days early in my quit. I wasn’t fully committed to the site at the time. That sucks because I cannot ever say “I posted every single day” which I recommend all you newbies do. It is an accomplishment to be proud of. People look at those spreadsheets and, if you are like me, you notice the 100% posters and know those fu**ckers got their shi* together.
7) Thank you. Thank you to everyone who participates in the fight here. I may only spoken to a few of you but there are many of you out there (too many to list) that I follow each day and learn a lot from. A special thank you to April 2013 quit group. I enjoy watching the progress and the drama. IÂ’m thinking KTC should pitch a reality TV show about this place. Some of this stuff is priceless!
Thanks for reading, post daily and STAY QUIT
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Update Day 115
Up because I just canÂ’t seem to seep tonight. IÂ’m in bed wondering what the show would look like if Discovery combined Amish Mafia with Moonshiners?
Anyway I have not updated my intro in some time. I plan to be here for awhile so I figure it be best I track it here.
1) Still no avatar. The procrastinator in me loves the thought that I will find the best one “tomorrow”. Since it is not interfering with my quit I suppose I can oblige that side of me.
2) I’m actually on day 117. A long time ago I realized the guys keeping track had me down as 9.18 quit date. I always laughed to myself thinking “do they not get 916quit. Again, not interfering with my quit so who gives a fu**. Mike or Matt, if you run across this feel free to update that and give me 2 days credit.
3) I’m kinda lost. Although I have absolutely no desire or crave for Kodiak any longer something is missing. My entire old routine is shot. I go to bed much earlier as I have no interest in playing Halo on Xbox Live anymore until 2am. Me, this fuc**ing 42 year old white dude dueling it out with some 12 year old Asian kid at midnight just never really made sense to most of the guys I hang out with. So, that is off the table and literally gave me back hours each night which the “morning me” absolutely loves. I find myself eating breakfast now instead of tossing one in first thing and burning right through that “hassle”. No joking, breakfast a lot of times was a hassle cause it “slowed me down”. Ok, so now I have my Cherrio’s each day, along with piles of other stuff that hast lead to some weight gain which I will get to. My work really suffered the first 80 or so days and I still don’t think my output is 100% yet. You see I work from home and would literally chain chew all day long. I had trouble focusing for a long time –not by days but I would sit at my pc and literally just cover what I needed to do to hold down my job. I broke down somewhere in the 40’s (I think) and grabbed some Smokey Mountain. It has helped me ton at my desk and when I golf. All my friends chew and at one point asked me about it, I kindly replied “it’s not the same but eff it, I can swallow the juice when I need to and eat it when I’m done” not too bad huh. I think the “missing” issue for me at the moment has to do with the fight against the craves. I found myself going to bed each night saying “another day down, it’ll get better tomorrow” and I would wake up the next day thinking of chew, wanting to chew, planning a nice little cave for myself and I spent much of my day fighting that part (physical addiction) and being proud when I laid down each night that I made it. Somewhere at 80 or so getting through the day without thinking of Kodiak arrived and the, what I would call “struggle” seemed to go away. So I sit here knowing I will never, ever and I mean ever, chew again but still adjusting to undoing 28 years wrapped around that stupid can. Although this physical addition “struggle” seems to be gone I am keenly aware of the dangers that lurk in the shadow waiting to knock at my door when I am weak. This is why I will continue to post each and every day and stay close to KTC. I would not know as much as I do today without learning from all the brothers and sisters war against this addiction. This is a war for me, not a battle. 100 days was a battle.
4) Weight. Yup, just like the others. I threw on solid 18lbs. This part SUCKS! I did (and still do) have a little fun stuffing garbage in my face each night. I figured I was earning the right and you know what, fu** it I did earn the right so if I each night i stuffed my face with a half a bag of Oreos who cares. So, I used to run a lot. Not a big long distance guy but 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week. I got way from that about 2 years ago so I would get into spurts and run for a month here or there. One Sunday right after Thanksgiving I’m sitting on the couch getting ready for some football. Remember I am still in this whole “missing thing” so chew is off the table and I don’t really wanna grab a beer at noon to fill the old void (had many of those the fist 30 days, ugly)…… so I decide that I’m gonna give my fat ass a nice little run. I lace them up and head out on run to nowhere. I end up literally limping in after a 6 mile run. Now I have been in a fog on the couch for 2 ½ months, put on about 15 or so pounds and have not run 6 miles in about 5 yrs. Yep, I gave myself Capsulits in my right foot and could not walk for about three days. Running was off the table for at least a few weeks so , back to the couch. I got up to 216 (I should be around 195 and had never gotten north of 210) and called my buddy to tell him I was gonna go for 220 just for fu** sake. Sadly I did try but actually lost weight. Got back to running last week, the weight issue I will go away.
5) Strange stuff. I donÂ’t at all know if this is related but my heart has been racing, strange beats for a few months now. I went to my doc and cardiologists and got tests done and they say it is fine. It does not feel fine. Again, I am not sure if it is related to stopping nic (even as I sit at 115) but if anyone has insight PLEASE get back to me.
6) Regrets so far. I do regret one thing. I missed posting about 3 days early in my quit. I wasn’t fully committed to the site at the time. That sucks because I cannot ever say “I posted every single day” which I recommend all you newbies do. It is an accomplishment to be proud of. People look at those spreadsheets and, if you are like me, you notice the 100% posters and know those fu**ckers got their shi* together.
7) Thank you. Thank you to everyone who participates in the fight here. I may only spoken to a few of you but there are many of you out there (too many to list) that I follow each day and learn a lot from. A special thank you to April 2013 quit group. I enjoy watching the progress and the drama. IÂ’m thinking KTC should pitch a reality TV show about this place. Some of this stuff is priceless!
Thanks for reading, post daily and STAY QUIT
Holy crap you got some issues! Good news is I had those same issues. (now 159 days) we are all similar in ways, but your story is dead on to mine.. I'm gonna give you some insight from the future. I felt the same emptiness at the same time as you..
1. amish moonshiner mafia.. Now that's an effin show!!!
2. I struggled about the day's to0, mainly couldn't remember what day I was on. quit is quit. 1 day or a 1000.. embrace this mentality.
3. You're in a funk right now - that's the emptiness.. It WILL go away. I could never use fake.. It's too similar to the real stuff for me. to each his own, but in my opinion it makes a quit harder not easier.
4. fortunately I exercised like crazy the first 100 days so, I could eat all that crap. You're trying to do too much and end up injuring yourself. No-one should run 6 miles after sitting on the couch 2 months. (injury) I was the same. All or nothing. Now I just swim 20 minutes 5 days a week. feeling like a champ. Main thing is do less but be consistent. Now that I'm quit I have so much time on my hands.. Used to dip and watch tv. dip and work. you no. now I actually get things done and it feels good. your funk will pass. the emptiness will go away.
5. exercise will help your heart rate. the more consistent you are, the better it will be. I also started juicing veggies everyday. 1 glass a day = mass energy.
use your quit to take care of your body. it's the only thing god gave you. treat it with respect.
6. Only regret is KTC wasn't around in 1970's lol
7. Thank yourself for quitting, and changing your life. That's what you're doing, changing your life. quit with you every damn day!!!
-
Update Day 115
Up because I just canÂ’t seem to seep tonight. IÂ’m in bed wondering what the show would look like if Discovery combined Amish Mafia with Moonshiners?Â
Anyway I have not updated my intro in some time. I plan to be here for awhile so I figure it be best I track it here.
1) Still no avatar. The procrastinator in me loves the thought that I will find the best one “tomorrow”. Since it is not interfering with my quit I suppose I can oblige that side of me.
2) I’m actually on day 117. A long time ago I realized the guys keeping track had me down as 9.18 quit date. I always laughed to myself thinking “do they not get 916quit. Again, not interfering with my quit so who gives a fu**. Mike or Matt, if you run across this feel free to update that and give me 2 days credit.
3) I’m kinda lost. Although I have absolutely no desire or crave for Kodiak any longer something is missing. My entire old routine is shot. I go to bed much earlier as I have no interest in playing Halo on Xbox Live anymore until 2am. Me, this fuc**ing 42 year old white dude dueling it out with some 12 year old Asian kid at midnight just never really made sense to most of the guys I hang out with. So, that is off the table and literally gave me back hours each night which the “morning me” absolutely loves. I find myself eating breakfast now instead of tossing one in first thing and burning right through that “hassle”. No joking, breakfast a lot of times was a hassle cause it “slowed me down”. Ok, so now I have my Cherrio’s each day, along with piles of other stuff that hast lead to some weight gain which I will get to. My work really suffered the first 80 or so days and I still don’t think my output is 100% yet. You see I work from home and would literally chain chew all day long. I had trouble focusing for a long time –not by days but I would sit at my pc and literally just cover what I needed to do to hold down my job. I broke down somewhere in the 40’s (I think) and grabbed some Smokey Mountain. It has helped me ton at my desk and when I golf. All my friends chew and at one point asked me about it, I kindly replied “it’s not the same but eff it, I can swallow the juice when I need to and eat it when I’m done” not too bad huh. I think the “missing” issue for me at the moment has to do with the fight against the craves. I found myself going to bed each night saying “another day down, it’ll get better tomorrow” and I would wake up the next day thinking of chew, wanting to chew, planning a nice little cave for myself and I spent much of my day fighting that part (physical addiction) and being proud when I laid down each night that I made it. Somewhere at 80 or so getting through the day without thinking of Kodiak arrived and the, what I would call “struggle” seemed to go away. So I sit here knowing I will never, ever and I mean ever, chew again but still adjusting to undoing 28 years wrapped around that stupid can. Although this physical addition “struggle” seems to be gone I am keenly aware of the dangers that lurk in the shadow waiting to knock at my door when I am weak. This is why I will continue to post each and every day and stay close to KTC. I would not know as much as I do today without learning from all the brothers and sisters war against this addiction. This is a war for me, not a battle. 100 days was a battle.
4) Weight. Yup, just like the others. I threw on solid 18lbs. This part SUCKS! I did (and still do) have a little fun stuffing garbage in my face each night. I figured I was earning the right and you know what, fu** it I did earn the right so if I each night i stuffed my face with a half a bag of Oreos who cares. So, I used to run a lot. Not a big long distance guy but 3-5 miles 4-5 times a week. I got way from that about 2 years ago so I would get into spurts and run for a month here or there. One Sunday right after Thanksgiving I’m sitting on the couch getting ready for some football. Remember I am still in this whole “missing thing” so chew is off the table and I don’t really wanna grab a beer at noon to fill the old void (had many of those the fist 30 days, ugly)…… so I decide that I’m gonna give my fat ass a nice little run. I lace them up and head out on run to nowhere. I end up literally limping in after a 6 mile run. Now I have been in a fog on the couch for 2 ½ months, put on about 15 or so pounds and have not run 6 miles in about 5 yrs. Yep, I gave myself Capsulits in my right foot and could not walk for about three days. Running was off the table for at least a few weeks so , back to the couch. I got up to 216 (I should be around 195 and had never gotten north of 210) and called my buddy to tell him I was gonna go for 220 just for fu** sake. Sadly I did try but actually lost weight. Got back to running last week, the weight issue I will go away.
5) Strange stuff. I don’t at all know if this is related but my heart has been racing, strange beats for a few months now. I went to my doc and cardiologists and got tests done and they say it is fine. It does not feel fine. Again, I am not sure if it is related to stopping nic (even as I sit at 115) but if anyone has insight PLEASE get back to me.
6) Regrets so far. I do regret one thing. I missed posting about 3 days early in my quit. I wasn’t fully committed to the site at the time. That sucks because I cannot ever say “I posted every single day” which I recommend all you newbies do. It is an accomplishment to be proud of. People look at those spreadsheets and, if you are like me, you notice the 100% posters and know those fu**ckers got their shi* together.
7) Thank you. Thank you to everyone who participates in the fight here. I may only spoken to a few of you but there are many of you out there (too many to list) that I follow each day and learn a lot from. A special thank you to April 2013 quit group. I enjoy watching the progress and the drama. I’m thinking KTC should pitch a reality TV show about this place. Some of this stuff is priceless!
Thanks for reading, post daily and STAY QUIT
Holy crap you got some issues! Good news is I had those same issues. (now 159 days) we are all similar in ways, but your story is dead on to mine.. I'm gonna give you some insight from the future. I felt the same emptiness at the same time as you..
1. amish moonshiner mafia.. Now that's an effin show!!!
2. I struggled about the day's to0, mainly couldn't remember what day I was on. quit is quit. 1 day or a 1000.. embrace this mentality.
3. You're in a funk right now - that's the emptiness.. It WILL go away. I could never use fake.. It's too similar to the real stuff for me. to each his own, but in my opinion it makes a quit harder not easier.
4. fortunately I exercised like crazy the first 100 days so, I could eat all that crap. You're trying to do too much and end up injuring yourself. No-one should run 6 miles after sitting on the couch 2 months. (injury) I was the same. All or nothing. Now I just swim 20 minutes 5 days a week. feeling like a champ. Main thing is do less but be consistent. Now that I'm quit I have so much time on my hands.. Used to dip and watch tv. dip and work. you no. now I actually get things done and it feels good. your funk will pass. the emptiness will go away.
5. exercise will help your heart rate. the more consistent you are, the better it will be. I also started juicing veggies everyday. 1 glass a day = mass energy.
use your quit to take care of your body. it's the only thing god gave you. treat it with respect.
6. Only regret is KTC wasn't around in 1970's lol
7. Thank yourself for quitting, and changing your life. That's what you're doing, changing your life. quit with you every damn day!!!
Kana- thanks! That is what is so great around here, we're all linked together is this fight. Nice to here the emptiness wil ride out at some point. I might even be starting to bother the wife (if u can imagine) will all this free time. I forgot to mention her - she has rock solid!
I carry my quit next to you evey day!