KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: gettinganswers on December 05, 2015, 06:39:00 PM
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Today is day one. 25 years of chewing. A tin a day since the end of high school. I thought this would be easy. I figured that if I can go to sleep and wake up fine, then I had already gone an entire night without chew so I must not need it that badly. By 11 am today the brain fog was intense, then came weak legs, more brain fog, tight chest, intense cravings, that little voice trying to convince me I would be so much happier with a chew. Kind of like breaking up with someone and only remembering the good and not what drove you apart!
Anyway, Ive been meaning to quit for years. of course. For some time now I have been having periods of intense brain fog and disconnectedness, weak legs, cold toes, erectile issues, etc. I kept thinking it could be related to chew but the addicted brain kept telling me no. One to two weeks ago I did an experiment. I went from having a chew in just about all day except for brief interruptions to delaying my morning chew, then only keeping them in for 30 minutes and waiting at least 1.5 hours in between chews. Brain fog, weak legs, cold toes, etc all went away almost immediately. Kept this up for about a week just to make sure and it all stayed away. Figured after all this time maybe I have built up an intolerance to chemicals or chew or just the circulatory effects. anyway, if it causing all that misery then it is time to let it go.
But man I can tell it will be hard. Sitting here wondering how in the hell Im gonna make it to work on Monday and meet with a client!!!
and yes if I can figure out how to post roll then I will do that!
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Don't worry about Monday, let's deal with the rest of today. Thinking about the future can be overwhelming. You won't be sorry for taking this step. I am still amazed each day that I'm succeeding another day after over 4 decades of being a slave to that poison.
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OK, you know you are addicted. You know it will suck a while with real physical effects. Can you meet your client Monday?
I chewed a tin of Copenhagen a day for 35 years. I quit the day my firm's user conference started -- hundreds of clients in town to be amazed and I as CEO there to lead it all while white knuckling it through days 1 to 3 of my quit. If I can do it, you can survive Monday.
You have some advantages: one you are here getting help. The help is basic... post roll, get some phone numbers for rough times, drink lots of water, exercise, read on this site.
Learn what to expect, that if power over the suck you know is coming. You can make it for a day. You can make it handling a client for one day. Enough one days it gets better.
Don't worry about posting roll perfectly your first time... Go to the March 2016 quit group and say hi. Try a post (someone will clean up after you). Use the strength of your group. Succeed with both your quit and your client.
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Well done on posting in March. Your note there might concern some as the idea is to post your promise to not use nicotine in any form for 24 each morning when you wake up. The getting back in a couple days misses the power of the daily promise in helping your quit.
You can post from an iPhone or and iPad, it just takes a bit of practice. At least put your name and days in a "reply" each morning as a post (we have a quitter who still does that after a year quit). That daily promise is a big part of your success.
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Well done on posting in March. Your note there might concern some as the idea is to post your promise to not use nicotine in any form for 24 each morning when you wake up. The getting back in a couple days misses the power of the daily promise in helping your quit.
You can post from an iPhone or and iPad, it just takes a bit of practice. At least put your name and days in a "reply" each morning as a post (we have a quitter who still does that after a year quit). That daily promise is a big part of your success.
Will make every attempt to post a reply. I meant the official role with all the control left and right clicks is gonna have to wait until I am in front of a computer.
Look forward to the morning checkin so I can see what kind of sleep night number one brings haha.
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Proud to see you quitting. It will be tough just know that you can do it. I promise you you can. One day at a time. I quit with you. Send me a pm if you need me.
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You got this. We quit daily and early. Post your promise, and keep your word. Expect your brothers in your group to do the same, and hold them accountable. You got this.
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Day 2. Last night was fun sleeping.....Weird dreams, sweating profusely, intestinal pain, up every few hours. But I got this. Thanks for all the replies folks.
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Day 3. Still hanging in there. Yes, it is very difficult and i can't believe I have gone longer than 24 hours without a chew for the first time in over 20 years. But I think what is the hardest is that little voice that sounds so confident and rationale that says "man if you just put that chew in you would be so happy and calm". Funny how that voice gets loud even when you know it is full of shit.
Anyway, physical symptoms felt better on Day 2 than Day 1, but some of the mental cravings have been more intense. Still slept for shit last night. Lots of waking, and spasms for the first part of the night.
I got this.
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Put it all in this intro as your journal -- it will help later.
today is day 3, the day the last of the nicotine flushes out of your system. Help it leave by drinking lots of water, and exercising.
You got this today.
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Day 3. Still hanging in there. Yes, it is very difficult and i can't believe I have gone longer than 24 hours without a chew for the first time in over 20 years. But I think what is the hardest is that little voice that sounds so confident and rationale that says "man if you just put that chew in you would be so happy and calm". Funny how that voice gets loud even when you know it is full of shit.
Anyway, physical symptoms felt better on Day 2 than Day 1, but some of the mental cravings have been more intense. Still slept for shit last night. Lots of waking, and spasms for the first part of the night.
I got this.
Yeah, dude. I only slept for a couple hours a night for 3 weeks. I'm back to normal now though.
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same here. not sleeping was rough but worth it, push through push through.
as folks have said, use this thread as much as you need to, someone is around to lend a hand.
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I was worried about how I would do meeting with a client on day 3, but I think it was actually good to be distracted. Job went great
Some of this is actually kind of cool. I have had some weird mental clarity and even sitting on the toilet this morning I swear I was speaking fluent french for a while and its been 25 years since a class. (not a joke - like for a minute the mental gates were opened and I had more access to stuff haha).
But the cravings have been more intense today. Not in a way that I can't fight, but just more intense. I was driving back and saw an old tin in my trash in my truck - there would have been times in the past that I would have picked it out and licked the damned thing clean. Today I had no urge to do that despite having the urge to chew. I think perhaps I miss the "concept" or action of chewing much more than I do the actual stuff.
I have a fresh batch of sores above my top teeth! Like someone took sandpaper and ran it way above my teeth. Weird how that can be connected.
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I was worried about how I would do meeting with a client on day 3, but I think it was actually good to be distracted. Job went great
Some of this is actually kind of cool. I have had some weird mental clarity and even sitting on the toilet this morning I swear I was speaking fluent french for a while and its been 25 years since a class. (not a joke - like for a minute the mental gates were opened and I had more access to stuff haha).
But the cravings have been more intense today. Not in a way that I can't fight, but just more intense. I was driving back and saw an old tin in my trash in my truck - there would have been times in the past that I would have picked it out and licked the damned thing clean. Today I had no urge to do that despite having the urge to chew. I think perhaps I miss the "concept" or action of chewing much more than I do the actual stuff.
I have a fresh batch of sores above my top teeth! Like someone took sandpaper and ran it way above my teeth. Weird how that can be connected.
Lol its funny that you are experiencing improved brain function. I keep forgetting things I did 2 minutes ago. All day long.
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I was worried about how I would do meeting with a client on day 3, but I think it was actually good to be distracted. Job went great
Some of this is actually kind of cool. I have had some weird mental clarity and even sitting on the toilet this morning I swear I was speaking fluent french for a while and its been 25 years since a class. (not a joke - like for a minute the mental gates were opened and I had more access to stuff haha).
But the cravings have been more intense today. Not in a way that I can't fight, but just more intense. I was driving back and saw an old tin in my trash in my truck - there would have been times in the past that I would have picked it out and licked the damned thing clean. Today I had no urge to do that despite having the urge to chew. I think perhaps I miss the "concept" or action of chewing much more than I do the actual stuff.
I have a fresh batch of sores above my top teeth! Like someone took sandpaper and ran it way above my teeth. Weird how that can be connected.
Lol its funny that you are experiencing improved brain function. I keep forgetting things I did 2 minutes ago. All day long.
That improved brain function was fleeting. Back to the brain fog!
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I was worried about how I would do meeting with a client on day 3, but I think it was actually good to be distracted. Job went great
Some of this is actually kind of cool. I have had some weird mental clarity and even sitting on the toilet this morning I swear I was speaking fluent french for a while and its been 25 years since a class. (not a joke - like for a minute the mental gates were opened and I had more access to stuff haha).
But the cravings have been more intense today. Not in a way that I can't fight, but just more intense. I was driving back and saw an old tin in my trash in my truck - there would have been times in the past that I would have picked it out and licked the damned thing clean. Today I had no urge to do that despite having the urge to chew. I think perhaps I miss the "concept" or action of chewing much more than I do the actual stuff.
I have a fresh batch of sores above my top teeth! Like someone took sandpaper and ran it way above my teeth. Weird how that can be connected.
Lol its funny that you are experiencing improved brain function. I keep forgetting things I did 2 minutes ago. All day long.
That improved brain function was fleeting. Back to the brain fog!
But you are winning don't forget that. It gets better a lot better. Exercise helps with the fog, and keep chugging water.
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Day four was pretty good. Had a job about two hours away and that long drive would have been prime time for a chew in the past. But handled it great without one. Actually had sunflower seeds and I swear those damn things tear up my gums worse than chew ever did!
All in all it has been sort of easy so far. Although a few years ago I went through withdrawal after coming off a therapeutic dose of benzodiazepines and I don't think any hell can top that haha. But, this still isn't fun and I think the hardest part to fight isn't the physical cravings, it's the "why not, there's nothing better to do".
I have noticed an increase in anxiety. Physical anxiety. Occasional palpitations. Gut tension and gas. More on edge. Etc.
Still kicking!!
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Perhaps the most frustrating part of this for me is that voice that keeps saying "why not". I find I want to go to bed earlier to avoid the boredom of TV and stuff. However, staying strong.
This is Day 6. Still have some brain fog and feel like I might pass out at times. Normal????? My sleep is slowly getting better, but I am still really tired during the day and I'm constipated.
However, to finish on the good things I have seen in only 6 days- teeth are whiter, I went to get an eyelash out of my eye and realized I didn't have to use my pinkie to avoid the chew-in-eye burn!, my pecker seems to be working even better with blood flow, the brain static is still gone and so are the weak legs, my toes and fingers are so much warmer, my pointer finger and thumb are not permanently discolored brown anymore,
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Perhaps the most frustrating part of this for me is that voice that keeps saying "why not". I find I want to go to bed earlier to avoid the boredom of TV and stuff. However, staying strong.
This is Day 6. Still have some brain fog and feel like I might pass out at times. Normal????? My sleep is slowly getting better, but I am still really tired during the day and I'm constipated.
However, to finish on the good things I have seen in only 6 days- teeth are whiter, I went to get an eyelash out of my eye and realized I didn't have to use my pinkie to avoid the chew-in-eye burn!, my pecker seems to be working even better with blood flow, the brain static is still gone and so are the weak legs, my toes and fingers are so much warmer, my pointer finger and thumb are not permanently discolored brown anymore,
#winning
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Perhaps the most frustrating part of this for me is that voice that keeps saying "why not". I find I want to go to bed earlier to avoid the boredom of TV and stuff. However, staying strong.
This is Day 6. Still have some brain fog and feel like I might pass out at times. Normal????? My sleep is slowly getting better, but I am still really tired during the day and I'm constipated.
However, to finish on the good things I have seen in only 6 days- teeth are whiter, I went to get an eyelash out of my eye and realized I didn't have to use my pinkie to avoid the chew-in-eye burn!, my pecker seems to be working even better with blood flow, the brain static is still gone and so are the weak legs, my toes and fingers are so much warmer, my pointer finger and thumb are not permanently discolored brown anymore,
#winning
Healing!
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He man, I just read this stellar quit journal you've started - this is exactly how you do it. Random people like me read this stuff, it strengthens our quit to see how others are crushing it every day. At the same time, it's knowing that random people are following your quit and have a vested interest and concern for your well being. Keep journaling this stuff because you're going to need a place vent - especially at the stage you're at. Nicotine is out of your system, but your body is trying to figure out how to re-sync itself - 25 years of daily nicotine infusion is something your body became dependent on. Now it's like WTF is happening; this is also know as the suck. Once your body figures it out - it doesn't suck anymore and the euphoria of quit sets in. I bet you're already getting some little tastes of that glory - trust me it gets better. Way better.
Anyhow, great work brotha.
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Make no mistake about it. Tobacco will kill you if you cave. This is your only chance. Keep it up. This is life or death. Make the choice every single morning by posting roll and keeping your promise.
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Thanks guys. Day 10 passing. So far so good. Not as hard as I had feared. But that could be deadly if I don't keep my guard up. "Hey it was easy to quit so just do it every once in a while ". Got to keep that shit out of my thoughts.
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Day 12 - things are going well. I have some anger outbursts, some periods of brain fog, but all in all things seem to be going well and the cravings only pop up occasionally. Usually in the evening when I sit down on the couch to watch TV. Nothing unbearable though.
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Holy crap just stepped on the scales. Gained ten pounds in two weeks and I swear I haven't eaten that much more. Damn that's got to change real fast!!
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Holy crap just stepped on the scales. Gained ten pounds in two weeks and I swear I haven't eaten that much more. Damn that's got to change real fast!!
It's sort of like the freshman 15, but it's the quitters 10. Don't worry about it. When you get the exercise routine back, you'll work that off, and you'll be in much better shape to not have a heart attack while doing it now that you don't have the poison coursing through your veins!
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Day 15 - fresh round of major bad mood and short temper but the cravings are 99% gone. Doesn't help that I feel miserable from the sudden weight gain. Even my Dad said "look like getting a little chunky". Dick haha.
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Day 15 - fresh round of major bad mood and short temper but the cravings are 99% gone. Doesn't help that I feel miserable from the sudden weight gain. Even my Dad said "look like getting a little chunky". Dick haha.
Chunky better than removing half your jaw. You can lose weight better than dying! Quit on!
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Day 15 - fresh round of major bad mood and short temper but the cravings are 99% gone. Doesn't help that I feel miserable from the sudden weight gain. Even my Dad said "look like getting a little chunky". Dick haha.
Chunky better than removing half your jaw. You can lose weight better than dying! Quit on!
Day 17. The cravings are still gone. Noticed my mood is a little depressed. In a funk.
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Day 15 - fresh round of major bad mood and short temper but the cravings are 99% gone. Doesn't help that I feel miserable from the sudden weight gain. Even my Dad said "look like getting a little chunky". Dick haha.
Chunky better than removing half your jaw. You can lose weight better than dying! Quit on!
Day 17. The cravings are still gone. Noticed my mood is a little depressed. In a funk.
I laughed my ass off when I read what your dad said. Keep pushing GA, the funks will get fewer and farther between. Post your promise, keep it, and repeat. Just keep going.
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Day 22. Intense cravings are long gone. Still have the occasional minor craving but they are manageable.
Major issues are the weight gain intestinal bloating and the funky depressed mood. Pretty much the same old same old.
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Day 22. Intense cravings are long gone. Still have the occasional minor craving but they are manageable.
Major issues are the weight gain intestinal bloating and the funky depressed mood. Pretty much the same old same old.
22 days rocks.....
25 years is a long time brother.
It's not going away tomorrow.
Walk and drink water... And more water.
Ive lost that initial weight, and you will too.
Weight and moods are manageable. Cancer is NOT!
I Quit with you today.
Rawls 403
ODAAT.
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Day 25. Again keeping this somewhat as a journal so people don't have to comment unless they want to. A little more just for me to look back and see how the journey was.
Still doing fine with the cravings. In truth I am really surprised at how I do not think about chewing or having one 99% of the day. I only get occasional flashes through my brain , and they are very fleeting thoughts. and this is from someone who had a chew in from the time I woke up until bed, with only minor breaks for eating or seeing a client.
I will repeat for my own remembrance that the depression is sucky. I literally went to bed at 8 last night and felt like bawling my eyes out- then I proceeded to not sleep at all, which is rare. Today I felt better, but the mood swings are rough haha.
Weight gain is still here and so is the constipation. In the beginning I was real regular, but the past 2 weeks I have been bound up tight. Packed in shit is probably where the weight came from haha.
Something that pisses me off. My wife never really nagged me about quitting (as a former smoker she knew better haha), but she did make comments about spitters being around, or the smell, or how I need to quit. Except for 2 times WHEN I said "hey, are you even happy that I quit?" I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS OR WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM HER. Well, I did get "are you moody today because of the chew" one time, but nothing else. Hell, I guess when they say you have to do this for yourself, this is another reason why. People like to bitch about you having the habit, but don't like to support the effort to give it up.
Anyway, my Redskins made it to the playoffs so that's some good news
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Quitting is a rollercoaster my friend. One minute you are on top of the world and the next, crying like a little baby. So goes the grind. Keep at it....the hills and valleys will even out very soon.
As a side note...being from Michigan I love me some Kirk Cousins. Congrats to your 'skins.
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Day 25. Again keeping this somewhat as a journal so people don't have to comment unless they want to. A little more just for me to look back and see how the journey was.
Still doing fine with the cravings. In truth I am really surprised at how I do not think about chewing or having one 99% of the day. I only get occasional flashes through my brain , and they are very fleeting thoughts. and this is from someone who had a chew in from the time I woke up until bed, with only minor breaks for eating or seeing a client.
I will repeat for my own remembrance that the depression is sucky. I literally went to bed at 8 last night and felt like bawling my eyes out- then I proceeded to not sleep at all, which is rare. Today I felt better, but the mood swings are rough haha.
Weight gain is still here and so is the constipation. In the beginning I was real regular, but the past 2 weeks I have been bound up tight. Packed in shit is probably where the weight came from haha.
Something that pisses me off. My wife never really nagged me about quitting (as a former smoker she knew better haha), but she did make comments about spitters being around, or the smell, or how I need to quit. Except for 2 times WHEN I said "hey, are you even happy that I quit?" I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS OR WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM HER. Well, I did get "are you moody today because of the chew" one time, but nothing else. Hell, I guess when they say you have to do this for yourself, this is another reason why. People like to bitch about you having the habit, but don't like to support the effort to give it up.
Anyway, my Redskins made it to the playoffs so that's some good news
Your wife shouldn't have to congratulate you for quitting. You should be apologizing for chewing in the first place.
Have you considered seeking medical help. The depressive mood may not be from dipping. I'm not a doctor nor trying to call you out, but it could be worth a trip to the the doc. Many here have chewed for years or decades and never went to bed in tears after our quit.
On the positive. Way to stick with your quit. I hope it gets easier soon!
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Day 25. Again keeping this somewhat as a journal so people don't have to comment unless they want to. A little more just for me to look back and see how the journey was.
Still doing fine with the cravings. In truth I am really surprised at how I do not think about chewing or having one 99% of the day. I only get occasional flashes through my brain , and they are very fleeting thoughts. and this is from someone who had a chew in from the time I woke up until bed, with only minor breaks for eating or seeing a client.
I will repeat for my own remembrance that the depression is sucky. I literally went to bed at 8 last night and felt like bawling my eyes out- then I proceeded to not sleep at all, which is rare. Today I felt better, but the mood swings are rough haha.
Weight gain is still here and so is the constipation. In the beginning I was real regular, but the past 2 weeks I have been bound up tight. Packed in shit is probably where the weight came from haha.
Something that pisses me off. My wife never really nagged me about quitting (as a former smoker she knew better haha), but she did make comments about spitters being around, or the smell, or how I need to quit. Except for 2 times WHEN I said "hey, are you even happy that I quit?" I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS OR WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM HER. Well, I did get "are you moody today because of the chew" one time, but nothing else. Hell, I guess when they say you have to do this for yourself, this is another reason why. People like to bitch about you having the habit, but don't like to support the effort to give it up.
Anyway, my Redskins made it to the playoffs so that's some good news
Your wife shouldn't have to congratulate you for quitting. You should be apologizing for chewing in the first place.
Have you considered seeking medical help. The depressive mood may not be from dipping. I'm not a doctor nor trying to call you out, but it could be worth a trip to the the doc. Many here have chewed for years or decades and never went to bed in tears after our quit.
On the positive. Way to stick with your quit. I hope it gets easier soon!
Thanks for the concern. Like I said today was better. I have had dealings with anxiety and minor depression in the past so I know what this is. Temporary. I have also had dealing with doctors prescribing pills that are far more addictive and cause far more withdrawal effects than chew so I will ride this out unless it interferes with life. But thanks for the concern.
I would also look at the positive- not many on here have almost no cravings so I will take the occasional mood swing over constant cravings haha.
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Day 25. Again keeping this somewhat as a journal so people don't have to comment unless they want to. A little more just for me to look back and see how the journey was.
Still doing fine with the cravings. In truth I am really surprised at how I do not think about chewing or having one 99% of the day. I only get occasional flashes through my brain , and they are very fleeting thoughts. and this is from someone who had a chew in from the time I woke up until bed, with only minor breaks for eating or seeing a client.
I will repeat for my own remembrance that the depression is sucky. I literally went to bed at 8 last night and felt like bawling my eyes out- then I proceeded to not sleep at all, which is rare. Today I felt better, but the mood swings are rough haha.
Weight gain is still here and so is the constipation. In the beginning I was real regular, but the past 2 weeks I have been bound up tight. Packed in shit is probably where the weight came from haha.
Something that pisses me off. My wife never really nagged me about quitting (as a former smoker she knew better haha), but she did make comments about spitters being around, or the smell, or how I need to quit. Except for 2 times WHEN I said "hey, are you even happy that I quit?" I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE FUCKING CONGRATULATIONS OR WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT FROM HER. Well, I did get "are you moody today because of the chew" one time, but nothing else. Hell, I guess when they say you have to do this for yourself, this is another reason why. People like to bitch about you having the habit, but don't like to support the effort to give it up.
Anyway, my Redskins made it to the playoffs so that's some good news
Your wife shouldn't have to congratulate you for quitting. You should be apologizing for chewing in the first place.
Have you considered seeking medical help. The depressive mood may not be from dipping. I'm not a doctor nor trying to call you out, but it could be worth a trip to the the doc. Many here have chewed for years or decades and never went to bed in tears after our quit.
On the positive. Way to stick with your quit. I hope it gets easier soon!
Thanks for the concern. Like I said today was better. I have had dealings with anxiety and minor depression in the past so I know what this is. Temporary. I have also had dealing with doctors prescribing pills that are far more addictive and cause far more withdrawal effects than chew so I will ride this out unless it interferes with life. But thanks for the concern.
I would also look at the positive- not many on here have almost no cravings so I will take the occasional mood swing over constant cravings haha.
A lot of people get some meds to deal with the effects short term. It can help. I personally didn't for the same concerns you have. It sucked bad for a while. We bothcsoyndblike hard heads. That is a compliment btw.
Dude you are doing great. Keep at it. One day of winning at a time.
Beware of speaking frenchbin public toilets btw. Easy way to get beaten up. Haha.
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Day 32. Just an update more for personal journaling.
The cravings have actually been more intense at the 30 day mark. Weird that it can be almost non-existent for so long, and then increase. Again, not like longing for a chew specifically, but just have this desire for an infusion of nicotine. Yes I can fight it, and no I will not cave in, just making an honest observation.
The depression has eased up. Fatigue is worse for some reason. The weight gain is still here so I have gone back on the low carb diet that has always worked in the past.
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Day 36 - still moving along. No nicotine for me. The cravings have eased up some but I still have that gnawing craving in the back of my head. I think its the suck. that boredom of quitting. Not gonna cave in though.
I've been sleeping like a maniac lately and worn out during the day. I don't think it is really related to the chew, because I have a bunch of other stuff going on in life that is a major mood and energy sucker. Hell, traded in my 2010 dodge ram for a 2014 yesterday and normally I would be living in the new one, making it my own, but I don't have the energy or desire. Too much going on
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Day 42.
Just my thoughts and yes I am very sure most will be upset by this train of thought but I would like to hear the reverse of this - I may have occasional weird cravings like something is missing but I do not think about chewing. As a matter of fact, the only time I think about chewing is when I remember I have to come on this site and post roll because I chewed. So, is it beneficial to keep posting, does it maintain accountability, or does it just keep the idea of chewing fresh in your mind? I mean, if you get through the day without thinking about chewing, why is it a good idea to force yourself to think about chewing to start the day? Just something that came to mind.
Hope everyone is doing great