KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: PJ8324 on January 22, 2015, 04:43:00 PM
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looked through the site and now going to jump right in. Can't really believe I let it get to this point... I can't count the number of times I said I'd quit and the "landmark" dates I've picked. None of it worked. Even when my son and daughter were born and I told myself that was it. now I tell my 3 yr old I'm chewing gum when I do it in front of him. It's bad enough I lie to my wife but my son too. My wife has threatened me with divorce because of this stupid habit and I'm tired of sneaking off or sitting in the bathroom instead of spending time with my family and doing things I love. Yet I still manage to convince myself it's ok but not anymore. No more lying. No more being embarrassed what this crap has done to my teeth. I'm sure I'll get to know some of you along the way and cheers to the start of a life without this crap.
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Right on PJ! Do this for yourself, but I promise you it will strengthen your marriage. It did mine. Way to post roll. Welcome!
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Right on PJ! Do this for yourself, but I promise you it will strengthen your marriage. It did mine. Way to post roll. Welcome!
Great decision to quit. It will feel great not to have to be sneaky, hiding your chew, making excuses to go to the store and taking 30 minute shits.
Post roll each day! Repeat
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this stupid habit
Picking your nose is a habit.
What you have is a fully mature, double-d case of addiction. You are an addict. I've been quit 18 days. I'm an addict. I met a guy on here that's been quit for 8 years. Still an addict.
Get your mind around that, first thing.
Good job on having the courage to post day 1 here . .now stick to your word, and you'll get all the support you can ask for.
In my opinion the first day or three are the worst part . . just power through it, one hour at a time.
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this stupid habit
Picking your nose is a habit.
What you have is a fully mature, double-d case of addiction. You are an addict. I've been quit 18 days. I'm an addict. I met a guy on here that's been quit for 8 years. Still an addict.
Get your mind around that, first thing.
Good job on having the courage to post day 1 here . .now stick to your word, and you'll get all the support you can ask for.
In my opinion the first day or three are the worst part . . just power through it, one hour at a time.
Congrats pj, just talked to you in chat, keep up the good work.
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Great decision. post roll and keep your word today. You can do it.
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PJ. That intro is a great snapshot for looking at again and again. During the course of my quit I've used whatever tools I could to keep dip out of my mouth. Mints, gum, food, exercise, water, but most importantly I read my intro page over and over again. It reminded me of where I was and where I did not want to go. Quitting is hard work, but not impossible. Post your promise here every morning. Give your wife a kiss every day without worrying she'll smell the dip on your breath. Enjoy your kids everyday without letting them see you being a slave to a drug. Lots of sunshine on this side of the quit train. Good luck.
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Pj welcome to the first day of freedom! Post roll, listen and read! I quit with you my brother!
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ditto^^^ post roll and keep posting roll! It will make all the difference!
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It's gonna suck until it doesn't, and then it is remarkable. Best decision you have made in 2015!
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this stupid habit
Picking your nose is a habit.
What you have is a fully mature, double-d case of addiction. You are an addict. I've been quit 18 days. I'm an addict. I met a guy on here that's been quit for 8 years. Still an addict.
Get your mind around that, first thing.
Good job on having the courage to post day 1 here . .now stick to your word, and you'll get all the support you can ask for.
In my opinion the first day or three are the worst part . . just power through it, one hour at a time.
Angel - great point. Definitely need to keep reminding myself of that. Every minute of every day
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Welcome PJ! This is the first step to gaining back your life as well as your integrity. We quit with you. Looking forward to seeing you post roll each day.
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Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life PJ!
This site is awesomely packed full of totally bad ass MOFO's that all want nothing more than to see you succeed in your quit. Some above me have already said it, but buckle in and get ready for it to suck until it doesn't. Tell the wifey and kid-o's to bob n' weave, duck n' cover, but you try to focus any quit rage on us. They don't deserve it, you're gonna get pissed... Come here and pick a fight, cuss, scream, call us names, what ever to get you back down.
I've PM'd you a challenge. I hope you accept!
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You're doing great PJ. Keep plugging along and reading all you can. This place will give you the tools to save your life.
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
Great job bro!! Beat that bitch down and solidify that quit! She's crafty and will change her tactics as time goes on so stay frosty. You got this!
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
Great job bro!! Beat that bitch down and solidify that quit! She's crafty and will change her tactics as time goes on so stay frosty. You got this!
Awesome intro bro. I have truly enjoyed going through this battle with you. Just remember that this is only the begining, we still have a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go. There will be times when it seems like the whole world is crashing down around you and all you can think about is how that pinch of snuff will save you. Keep this quote in mind "99 problems plus nicotine is 100 problems". Now that you are quit KTC style you have folks depending on you to stay quit. People that are rooting for you and people that will be leaning on you. It is a BIG deal to let these people down. You can NEVER just have one. You must close that door and cement over it. The very idea of caving and shitting on all these people is literally spine chilling to me, not to mention falling right back into the same habits of being a low life lying asshole being controlled by something that is killing me. You are doing a fantastic job thus far PJ. Just keep it up and pay it forward. Never hesitate to call me or text me. I will be here every step of the way.
Jake_M
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
Great job bro!! Beat that bitch down and solidify that quit! She's crafty and will change her tactics as time goes on so stay frosty. You got this!
Awesome intro bro. I have truly enjoyed going through this battle with you. Just remember that this is only the begining, we still have a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go. There will be times when it seems like the whole world is crashing down around you and all you can think about is how that pinch of snuff will save you. Keep this quote in mind "99 problems plus nicotine is 100 problems". Now that you are quit KTC style you have folks depending on you to stay quit. People that are rooting for you and people that will be leaning on you. It is a BIG deal to let these people down. You can NEVER just have one. You must close that door and cement over it. The very idea of caving and shitting on all these people is literally spine chilling to me, not to mention falling right back into the same habits of being a low life lying asshole being controlled by something that is killing me. You are doing a fantastic job thus far PJ. Just keep it up and pay it forward. Never hesitate to call me or text me. I will be here every step of the way.
Jake_M
Nice job! Big win today. I don't see you as a guy in "recovery"! I don't know what that is. You are a quitter and are one from the minute you made that decision. I see a guy today that is winning the battle and kickin the nic B to the curb.
BTW.Dude... Don't sit in the 7-11 for 15 minutes. WTFO! Get in, get out... No one gets hurt.
Do what it takes to hold the line today. I have your back.
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
Great job bro!! Beat that bitch down and solidify that quit! She's crafty and will change her tactics as time goes on so stay frosty. You got this!
Awesome intro bro. I have truly enjoyed going through this battle with you. Just remember that this is only the begining, we still have a LOOOOOOOOOONG way to go. There will be times when it seems like the whole world is crashing down around you and all you can think about is how that pinch of snuff will save you. Keep this quote in mind "99 problems plus nicotine is 100 problems". Now that you are quit KTC style you have folks depending on you to stay quit. People that are rooting for you and people that will be leaning on you. It is a BIG deal to let these people down. You can NEVER just have one. You must close that door and cement over it. The very idea of caving and shitting on all these people is literally spine chilling to me, not to mention falling right back into the same habits of being a low life lying asshole being controlled by something that is killing me. You are doing a fantastic job thus far PJ. Just keep it up and pay it forward. Never hesitate to call me or text me. I will be here every step of the way.
Jake_M
Nice job! Big win today. I don't see you as a guy in "recovery"! I don't know what that is. You are a quitter and are one from the minute you made that decision. I see a guy today that is winning the battle and kickin the nic B to the curb.
BTW.Dude... Don't sit in the 7-11 for 15 minutes. WTFO! Get in, get out... No one gets hurt.
Do what it takes to hold the line today. I have your back.
Pj my brother your not alone! Were all addicts here and I believe at one time or another the craves are just as hard for one as they are the other! I also believe got a lot to do with how bad you want it as to how you handle it! Punch the nic bitch in the mouth throw another jolly rancher in smile and stay quit my friend!
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Smells like quit in here....
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
Nice work PJ. Keep up the fight ODAAT. Quit with you today.
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Day 11 - will keep it short and sweet. Everything is going pretty well and I'm now seeing the things that trigger my cravings. Most of the time its stress related - money, wife and butting heads, or habitual like driving. I used to use it in the afternoon to help me get through a long day. The last day or two those cravings have been brutally hard to ignore. Did this happen to any of you where a couple weeks in your cravings seemed harder to ignore?
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Day 11 - will keep it short and sweet. Everything is going pretty well and I'm now seeing the things that trigger my cravings. Most of the time its stress related - money, wife and butting heads, or habitual like driving. I used to use it in the afternoon to help me get through a long day. The last day or two those cravings have been brutally hard to ignore. Did this happen to any of you where a couple weeks in your cravings seemed harder to ignore?
Hey my brother! I'm gonna say 9 out of 10 guys that are here, still get cravings whether they just started or been here 5 years! 2 weeks in mine were almost unbearable now on day 36 I still crave but it's usually 10-15 minutes it's gone some days 15 minutes every hour. But I put on my big boy britches and man up, sometimes, no always if to bad I reach out to one of my boy's! Hang in there brother! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Day 11 - will keep it short and sweet. Everything is going pretty well and I'm now seeing the things that trigger my cravings. Most of the time its stress related - money, wife and butting heads, or habitual like driving. I used to use it in the afternoon to help me get through a long day. The last day or two those cravings have been brutally hard to ignore. Did this happen to any of you where a couple weeks in your cravings seemed harder to ignore?
Besides the 1st 3 days, the 2-3 week mark was my toughest as far as craves go. I think we let our guard down a little and think we got this and are good to go. That's when the cravings hit hard again. The good news is you are in the right place to do battle!
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Day 14 - two weeks! love getting responses so thanks for the feedback. I'm posting in here because keeping a frilly diary under the bed isn't for me. Right now I'm still fighting the you can have just one more - the feeling of just one last dip... everyone keeps comparing to getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or "hanging out" just one more time. The biggest help for me has been the constant reminder nicotine hasn't helped me stay focused, or relieved stress, or given me energy when I'm tired. In fact, it's the opposite. I'm tired, stressed, and distracted because my body is fighting the poison. Nicotine isn't the cure, it's the problem. This is crazy because I was in a completely different place just three days ago. I also told my mother-in-law that I'm an addict last night. She had no idea I even dipped... crazy. No more B.S. No more lying to my loved ones. And no more Nic Bitch.
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Day 14 - two weeks! love getting responses so thanks for the feedback. I'm posting in here because keeping a frilly diary under the bed isn't for me. Right now I'm still fighting the you can have just one more - the feeling of just one last dip... everyone keeps comparing to getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or "hanging out" just one more time. The biggest help for me has been the constant reminder nicotine hasn't helped me stay focused, or relieved stress, or given me energy when I'm tired. In fact, it's the opposite. I'm tired, stressed, and distracted because my body is fighting the poison. Nicotine isn't the cure, it's the problem. This is crazy because I was in a completely different place just three days ago. I also told my mother-in-law that I'm an addict last night. She had no idea I even dipped... crazy. No more B.S. No more lying to my loved ones. And no more Nic Bitch.
That's the right attitude PJ. and yes, Nic most definitely was the problem. You sound like a quitter to me! Keep going man. Life is really sweet without Nic!
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Day 14 - two weeks! love getting responses so thanks for the feedback. I'm posting in here because keeping a frilly diary under the bed isn't for me. Right now I'm still fighting the you can have just one more - the feeling of just one last dip... everyone keeps comparing to getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or "hanging out" just one more time. The biggest help for me has been the constant reminder nicotine hasn't helped me stay focused, or relieved stress, or given me energy when I'm tired. In fact, it's the opposite. I'm tired, stressed, and distracted because my body is fighting the poison. Nicotine isn't the cure, it's the problem. This is crazy because I was in a completely different place just three days ago. I also told my mother-in-law that I'm an addict last night. She had no idea I even dipped... crazy. No more B.S. No more lying to my loved ones. And no more Nic Bitch.
Dude you are really like turning me on!
You keep posting and I'll keep reading.
Think a little truth will set a man free?
Very proud to be quit with you PJ.
PS...That last little one would be the one you regret the most. No one would ever know you did it... But you.
Who you quiting for? Quit for you.
Rawls
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Day 14 - two weeks! love getting responses so thanks for the feedback. I'm posting in here because keeping a frilly diary under the bed isn't for me. Right now I'm still fighting the you can have just one more - the feeling of just one last dip... everyone keeps comparing to getting back together with an ex-girlfriend or "hanging out" just one more time. The biggest help for me has been the constant reminder nicotine hasn't helped me stay focused, or relieved stress, or given me energy when I'm tired. In fact, it's the opposite. I'm tired, stressed, and distracted because my body is fighting the poison. Nicotine isn't the cure, it's the problem. This is crazy because I was in a completely different place just three days ago. I also told my mother-in-law that I'm an addict last night. She had no idea I even dipped... crazy. No more B.S. No more lying to my loved ones. And no more Nic Bitch.
Dude you are really like turning me on!
You keep posting and I'll keep reading.
Think a little truth will set a man free?
Very proud to be quit with you PJ.
PS...That last little one would be the one you regret the most. No one would ever know you did it... But you.
Who you quiting for? Quit for you.
Rawls
Preach on brother,keep fighting edd and believe in yourself! Your kicking ass! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Day 70 - So I think I had an epiphany over the weekend and thought I should share it in case anyone else was feeling this way. Also, would love to get some advice from the vets if they experienced the same thing. The last two weeks have been tough. I've really had terrible craves. Not because I like dipping but because I miss it. It's all I've known for 20 yrs and its comfortable. guess the analogy would be an abused spouse who's afraid to leave the abusive relationship. The biggest challenge is I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what my daily routine is now. The last two months have been purely focusing on how to get to the next day. Now I need to find out who the new me is. On the weekends, I'd try to find ways to escape from the family. Run errands, car wash, home depot, work, etc. Anything that would get me out of the house for an hour to dip. now I don't know what I want to do. I sat around this weekend asking myself what do I like to do. it's been so long I forgot. I know that might sound crazy and pathetic... actually it is crazy and pathetic. Anyway, I've started this week by planning out my days. Its pretty fucking scary I don't really know who I am. Everything I did was either an activity that involved dip or a way for me to be able to dip. I know it's gonna be a lot of work but I need to literally change who I am. Does anyone get what I'm saying?
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Day 6 - Been a rough road so far. The second day I walked into a 7-11 looking for some Smokey Mountain fake stuff to help me out. I think I was in there for a good 15 mins as the Nic Bitch kept telling me I could have one dip and be ok. I decided the fake stuff would only open up the tiniest crack and headed to the candy aisle. But I couldn't find any hard candy... and she started again. Right then a guy from this site texted me. Saying you have to fight every minute of every day. Fight it with the thoughts of your family and the trouble dip has caused you. Fight it with the thought of your future grandchildren and what mouth cancer does to you. Don't give in and fight the struggle. I turned the corner and walked right into a bag of jolly ranchers. walked out with a bottle of water and some hard candy. Now I'm writing this from a starbucks, one of my favorite places to escape and dip. Their cups are the perfect spitter. So six days later, I'm in here trying to get work done and it's the only thing I could think of for the first 10 mins. So I decided to write here in my intro. Texted Jake (my KTC "Big Bro") and read my contract. The craving is gone and I am still an addict. But I'm an addict that is still in recovery. Day 7 is going to be better than day 6. Thanks KTC and the dudes in here that have my back.
great ! Good to hear you are winning..with a little help from your friends!
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Day 70 - So I think I had an epiphany over the weekend and thought I should share it in case anyone else was feeling this way. Also, would love to get some advice from the vets if they experienced the same thing. The last two weeks have been tough. I've really had terrible craves. Not because I like dipping but because I miss it. It's all I've known for 20 yrs and its comfortable. guess the analogy would be an abused spouse who's afraid to leave the abusive relationship. The biggest challenge is I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what my daily routine is now. The last two months have been purely focusing on how to get to the next day. Now I need to find out who the new me is. On the weekends, I'd try to find ways to escape from the family. Run errands, car wash, home depot, work, etc. Anything that would get me out of the house for an hour to dip. now I don't know what I want to do. I sat around this weekend asking myself what do I like to do. it's been so long I forgot. I know that might sound crazy and pathetic... actually it is crazy and pathetic. Anyway, I've started this week by planning out my days. Its pretty fucking scary I don't really know who I am. Everything I did was either an activity that involved dip or a way for me to be able to dip. I know it's gonna be a lot of work but I need to literally change who I am. Does anyone get what I'm saying?
What a great win, Day 70 doesn't seem possible for me. But I know it will come. I See there can be more than physical changes to deal with... here's to you staying strong and figuring it all out.
I totally get what you are saying. I have been a stealth user for years. Some know I do it , but most don't. I have lived my last 5-6 years being a slave to wanting a dip, more than most anything. Doing things where I could dip, knowing somethings allowed me to dip in peace, so I liked to do those things. So now I will see what REALLY matters to me I suppose.
ChickDip - Day 3
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I've read a lot of intros on the site so far PJ, and I have to say, your posts hit home with me more than most. All the intros have something to learn from, but your story is so similar to mine it's like a whole new realization that we were just an army of slaves. How could stories be so similar? Nicotine doesn't discriminate, but it turns each of us into slaves. We're "smart" enough to figure out how to use without getting caught, yet that's likely the dumbest thing we ever learned to do.
Anyway, thanks for this intro, really hit home for me. Congrats on the upcoming 200 also.
King