KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: DonkeyMN on January 31, 2017, 03:22:00 PM
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Hello all, I am Donkey from Minnesota - I am a full blown addict to this STUPID plant...
I am 38 years old, been chewing for 17 years - switched from smoking which I started when I was 17. So, I have been addicted to nic for over half my life. Great...
I have been lurking here for a couple weeks as a guest. I know you all are about cold turkey, but I have been progressively weaning myself to half use during this time. I bought some smokey mtn last night and haven't had a real chew since. I am quit. I am done.
I have two kids and a wife of 14 years. I love them completely and am scared I may be a lot to handle in the next few months.
I have a mother dying of cancer. This is my "trigger" to quit. I can see the pain in her eyes knowing she won't see her grandkids for much longer.
I seem to be rambling. I am a bit foggy already..... thanks for listening.
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Good for you, be strong and ramble all you want. Best part of the forum. You'd better start posting that roll call stuff before the site Nazi unleash holy hell on you!
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You need to find your quit group.
The next few days are really going to suck.
I have been quit for 183 days but to get through the early ones I used the following:
Green Tea - The massive caffeine intake did a good job of nicotine replacement
Starlight Mints - The flavor was close to wintergreen and it provided a solid sugar and oral fixation replacement
Sunflower Seeds - Salt, oral fixation and spitting replacement.
Just let your family know that it's going to suck and after a couple days the nicotine will be out of your system and then it is all mental from there.
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If you have been lurking for several weeks, you should know what to do. Great decision. Now that it's made, time to get involved in your group.
Go!
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Yes Sir. Great decision Now let's get on roll with your promise and get some quit going. Proud to quit with you today. USe the tools here and own your quit
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I posted roll. I am not real certain how/ what it takes to get involved with my group. Seemed like the thread was to promise, and check in??? I was obviously not able to see what was going on in there before I registered.
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Random thoughts...
I kinda like the feeling of the creepy crawlies on my skin now -Ha
I dont like how I feel somewhat sleepy. Need caffeine?
Quitting is for quitters
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Random thoughts...
I kinda like the feeling of the creepy crawlies on my skin now -Ha
I dont like how I feel somewhat sleepy. Need caffeine?
Quitting is for quitters
You will certainly be going through a lot of physical and mental changes due to withdrawals. There is a section on what to expect. It's pretty accurate for the most part.
The creepy crawlies. Yup. Wait till you get the jitters. Those are fun. But here's the good part, they will all pass with time. Then you don't need to go through it again.
Your other question about getting involved with your group means just that. Get to know them and let them get to know you. It will build accountability. Go post in your group what you first posted in here. If no one responds, make a comment about something another of your group posts.
Ask for phone numbers. You will probably be a bit shocked that complete strangers will PM (private message) you their personal phone number. It's so you can reach out when you're struggling. Via talking or texting. It may seem strange, but it does work. You don't "have" to. It's just another tool that is available should you chose to take advantage of it.
I saw your roll post. I'm counting on you to keep your word. Whatever it takes!
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Donkey welcome,
Perfect get active in your group and post updates here, rant, bitch and ask questions.
Post roll, stay quit, help others, build a network.
ID Spuds
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Hey Donkey. From one Minnesotan to another you got this. Read up, listen and read some more. I'm a couple years older than you and I was a dumbass over half my life just like you. Same deal, started out smoking and then started to dip to quit smoking. All of us are here for one reason, to quit being a dumbass and quit this crap once and for all. Pull up a chair and make it happen. I quit with you today man!!
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Random thoughts...
I kinda like the feeling of the creepy crawlies on my skin now -Ha
I dont like how I feel somewhat sleepy. Need caffeine?
Quitting is for quitters
You're in for it man.
It's awesome that you like this feeling now, but it's going to suck. I can't tell you when it will start to suck...but it will. This whole addiction thing....it comes with a price. That price is the suck. The good news is that the suck doesn't last long. I can't tell you when the suck will stop....but it will.
When times are bad, lean on your tools (friends, seeds, gums, water, etc). When times are good, plan for the bad.
Eventually, your mood won't be dependent on the plant or on the want foe the plant. You are free to be you. That's why I quit and that's why I'm glad I quit.
Pm me your number man. We do this together.
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Random thoughts day 2...
I don't like the creepys anymore. I really don't like people saying "good for you" when they hear I quit. I haven't done a god damn thing yet.
I woke up last night at 2am and couldn't figure out if I needed to piss, or what was going on with me. Apparently my body just said this is more important than sleep. 'bang head'
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Random thoughts day 2...
I don't like the creepys anymore. I really don't like people saying "good for you" when they hear I quit. I haven't done a god damn thing yet.
I woke up last night at 2am and couldn't figure out if I needed to piss, or what was going on with me. Apparently my body just said this is more important than sleep. 'bang head'
Yet you have done a "god damn thing"!! You have eliminated nicotine from your life for two days now and you are taking your life back one minute/hour/day at a time!! You have to celebrate and embrace the little things in this journey as well as the major victories.
Your body will rebel in multiple ways. Drink so much water that you literally need to live on the toilet because you are pissing constantly. Flush the poison out of your system. If you need to, get gum, seeds or fake dip (I use(d) Grinds coffee pouches and Baccoff wintergreen pouches) to curb the oral fixation. If the cravings get too intense, insert your balls in a desk drawer and slam repeatedly. The craving will pass by the time you can stand upright again.
I won't lie - the foreseeable future will be rough but you have a massive support group here on KTC. Share your digits and reach out for support. We have all been through the suck of the first days/weeks and are here to offer encouragement and support in any way we can.
I have shared my digits with you in a PM (see Inbox button in the top right corner of your screen). Don't hesitate to reach out. I'm glad you are here!
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Nice work! Love seeing these fellow MN quitters roll through. Looks like you've got a pretty decent mindset going, so I'll only add one thing. Be careful, don't get too high and don't get too low. Nicotine addiction tends to mask a lot of emotions. Not feeling great? Have a dip. Don't like a situation? Walk away and pack a dip. You know the drill I'm sure. Prepare yourself for the reality of few things. That being said, once you push through, things are so much better. You have my word on that.
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I will try to not take over this introduction area by posting too much.
But, hey - future me. Remember this Day 4. Remember how you thought that the worst part was when the nic was leaving your body? Fuck that, this is worse. The fog is still a little here, yet now I am clearheaded enough now to be short tempered, angry with the dumbest shit.
Sucks to know that the best thing I can do now is put my head down, don't talk much to anyone and hope it gets better. This is the prison she puts you in.
I think about it all the time.
Fuck nicotine
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Day 8 - I have been feeling pretty good the last couple days. Getting good sleep - I think I am tired at night from pushing the craves away during the day. A little win- I flossed the teeth today and didn't really bleed! That's something I don't remember happening for a long time.
I am thankful that my group seems to be loosening up and starting to rally around each other and we May (get it?) just be alright.
I don't think about it ALL the time now, just most. Once in a while I catch myself and say - hey, its been an hour 'dance'
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Day 8 - I have been feeling pretty good the last couple days. Getting good sleep - I think I am tired at night from pushing the craves away during the day. A little win- I flossed the teeth today and didn't really bleed! That's something I don't remember happening for a long time.
I am thankful that my group seems to be loosening up and starting to rally around each other and we May (get it?) just be alright.
I don't think about it ALL the time now, just most. Once in a while I catch myself and say - hey, its been an hour 'dance'
Congrats! You are beginning to realize how great things will get???
Hang in there. It gets so much better. You have no idea!
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Day 10- I had my first dip dream last night... funny that in my dream I felt so ashamed, and I actually thought crap.... now I gotta go back to day 1.
Not sure why, but I read stories of people having them and thought "how weird, I'm sure that will never happen to me."
I am having cravings that are really getting satisfied by the fake dip and am not sure how to feel about that. The oral addiction of putting dip in my mouth is apparently very real. I am hoping this just goes away like many have told me in chat.
ODAAT
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Day 15 - Life is starting to get more normal. Not sure when my distracted ass will be able to completely concentrate on something for more than 15 minutes though. Not real great for the work part of life. I also have more cravings at work than anywhere else, probably because of boredom. Oh well, smokey mountain to the rescue.
I feel more relaxed now than when I was dipping.
The struggle is real, but worth it. I am making a difference in my life, and my family's lives. My 9 year old is proud of me and that makes me crazy happy.
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Day 15 - Life is starting to get more normal. Not sure when my distracted ass will be able to completely concentrate on something for more than 15 minutes though. Not real great for the work part of life. I also have more cravings at work than anywhere else, probably because of boredom. Oh well, smokey mountain to the rescue.
I feel more relaxed now than when I was dipping.
The struggle is real, but worth it. I am making a difference in my life, and my family's lives. My 9 year old is proud of me and that makes me crazy happy.
"The struggle is real but worth it!"
Indeed it is! It will get so much better!
NAFAR!
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Day 17- wanted to put this copied in here from a post from the group.
I got home today after work, I went out to the mailbox. What the fuck do I see there, a coupon from Grizzly. I stared at it for a minute, not knowing what to do with it. My kids are yelling at me from in the house, the dog is taking a shit on the empty lot next to my house. What do I do with this thing? I walk over to the garbage, and start to rip it up. Then I think, how can I not have this coming to my house anymore? Oh shit, theres a number right there that says " call to unsubscribe "....
I put the dog in the house, tell the kids to go be busy and Dad needs to make a phone call. The lady that picks up - first question - " Are you a tobacco user?" I shit you not. I pause, and say NOT ANY MORE . Her: What do you want to do? Me: unsubscribe from your mailings. Her: No problem. Oh, by the way, are you 18? WTF. Now they ask that?
Then, I come on here, and someone got their mailings today. Someone who was still in the fog. Could I have thought that clearly to do that 15 days ago? No way.
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Beautiful thing roll post a nd a promise is! You mad your promise that day and honored it. Well done. Congrats on 15 days.
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Day 17- wanted to put this copied in here from a post from the group.
I got home today after work, I went out to the mailbox. What the fuck do I see there, a coupon from Grizzly. I stared at it for a minute, not knowing what to do with it. My kids are yelling at me from in the house, the dog is taking a shit on the empty lot next to my house. What do I do with this thing? I walk over to the garbage, and start to rip it up. Then I think, how can I not have this coming to my house anymore? Oh shit, theres a number right there that says " call to unsubscribe "....
I put the dog in the house, tell the kids to go be busy and Dad needs to make a phone call. The lady that picks up - first question - " Are you a tobacco user?" I shit you not. I pause, and say NOT ANY MORE . Her: What do you want to do? Me: unsubscribe from your mailings. Her: No problem. Oh, by the way, are you 18? WTF. Now they ask that?
Then, I come on here, and someone got their mailings today. Someone who was still in the fog. Could I have thought that clearly to do that 15 days ago? No way.
Donkey- you are doing this the right way man. Keep posting roll, keeping tracking your victories like this, and keep quitting for you. When I'm bored with my quit, I go back to my intro and I have these type of posts that remind me what a bitch it was in the beginning. It is so worth it. Simple formula of accountability and brotherhood.
As for the work thing you posted about a few days ago, I get it. I lost almost an entire 30 days of work to the fog because I was here non-stop. It was a great sacrifice as it helped me keep motivated and clean. I don't regret a single minute of it, because now, I'm far more productive on the other side. It may take some time, but as long as you keep doing what you are doing, you'll kill it!
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Day 17- wanted to put this copied in here from a post from the group.
I got home today after work, I went out to the mailbox. What the fuck do I see there, a coupon from Grizzly. I stared at it for a minute, not knowing what to do with it. My kids are yelling at me from in the house, the dog is taking a shit on the empty lot next to my house. What do I do with this thing? I walk over to the garbage, and start to rip it up. Then I think, how can I not have this coming to my house anymore? Oh shit, theres a number right there that says " call to unsubscribe "....
I put the dog in the house, tell the kids to go be busy and Dad needs to make a phone call. The lady that picks up - first question - " Are you a tobacco user?" I shit you not. I pause, and say NOT ANY MORE . Her: What do you want to do? Me: unsubscribe from your mailings. Her: No problem. Oh, by the way, are you 18? WTF. Now they ask that?
Then, I come on here, and someone got their mailings today. Someone who was still in the fog. Could I have thought that clearly to do that 15 days ago? No way.
Donkey- you are doing this the right way man. Keep posting roll, keeping tracking your victories like this, and keep quitting for you. When I'm bored with my quit, I go back to my intro and I have these type of posts that remind me what a bitch it was in the beginning. It is so worth it. Simple formula of accountability and brotherhood.
As for the work thing you posted about a few days ago, I get it. I lost almost an entire 30 days of work to the fog because I was here non-stop. It was a great sacrifice as it helped me keep motivated and clean. I don't regret a single minute of it, because now, I'm far more productive on the other side. It may take some time, but as long as you keep doing what you are doing, you'll kill it!
Nice quit dude!
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Day 17- wanted to put this copied in here from a post from the group.
I got home today after work, I went out to the mailbox. What the fuck do I see there, a coupon from Grizzly. I stared at it for a minute, not knowing what to do with it. My kids are yelling at me from in the house, the dog is taking a shit on the empty lot next to my house. What do I do with this thing? I walk over to the garbage, and start to rip it up. Then I think, how can I not have this coming to my house anymore? Oh shit, theres a number right there that says " call to unsubscribe "....
I put the dog in the house, tell the kids to go be busy and Dad needs to make a phone call. The lady that picks up - first question - " Are you a tobacco user?" I shit you not. I pause, and say NOT ANY MORE . Her: What do you want to do? Me: unsubscribe from your mailings. Her: No problem. Oh, by the way, are you 18? WTF. Now they ask that?
Then, I come on here, and someone got their mailings today. Someone who was still in the fog. Could I have thought that clearly to do that 15 days ago? No way.
Donkey- you are doing this the right way man. Keep posting roll, keeping tracking your victories like this, and keep quitting for you. When I'm bored with my quit, I go back to my intro and I have these type of posts that remind me what a bitch it was in the beginning. It is so worth it. Simple formula of accountability and brotherhood.
As for the work thing you posted about a few days ago, I get it. I lost almost an entire 30 days of work to the fog because I was here non-stop. It was a great sacrifice as it helped me keep motivated and clean. I don't regret a single minute of it, because now, I'm far more productive on the other side. It may take some time, but as long as you keep doing what you are doing, you'll kill it!
Nice quit dude!
I see you involved in your group.
Well done getting involved!
NAFAR!!!
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Day 26- well, the person who always defended and loved me,my mom, died yesterday morning. I was too out of it to crave yesterday so will see how the next few days go. I won't be on here much, but will find time to post roll.
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Day 26- well, the person who always defended and loved me,my mom, died yesterday morning. I was too out of it to crave yesterday so will see how the next few days go. I won't be on here much, but will find time to post roll.
So sorry to hear this DonkeyMN. I lost my pop in the beginning months of my quit as well. I am truly sorry for your loss. Please know this community is a great support for quitting
and just plain ole support for those grieving. Stay strong brother, tougher days are surely ahead. Prayers for you and you family.
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Day 38 - I haven't been on the site as much as before but wanted to say I am thankful to all who expressed their concerns and well wishes during this shitty time of my life. I am amazed at how many people have offered encouragement. - Strangers, yet brothers in arms against the faceless demon that hides in the shadows now.
I have had some blahs, some really good days, and some really bad ones. Like I mentioned before I am a "bored chewer". Something I never really realized about myself. Bored at work? Have a chew. Bored at Church? Ninja a chew. Bored with life? Chew it up. The weekends are the easiest part of the quit, since there are so many things to do. The mundane work, weekday life is when I get itchy. Want summer to get here so there is more to do!
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Day 58 - I have settled back into a normal routine. Want to get the fake out of the picture but will still be patient. I used to chew a can every other day of real, now go through a can a week of fake. So there's that.
Spent some time on chat yesterday trying to recruit a guy that just happened upon the chat. Was a frustrating time, kinda like talking to my old self 70 days ago. The stranglehold that nic bitch has on people is maddening, sad....
Focus at work is much better. The home life is good, although my wife seems to think I am "cured". Need to come on here to get real support and have people that understand there are times when the nic whore just pulls on your sleeve, like a 4 year old that wants attention. Nothing else matters to that 4 year old, and will stop at nothing to get you to acknowledge them. I acknowledge the craving.... look it in the eye and then walk away. Put some gum or fake in. Do something else.
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Day 58 - I have settled back into a normal routine. Want to get the fake out of the picture but will still be patient. I used to chew a can every other day of real, now go through a can a week of fake. So there's that.
Spent some time on chat yesterday trying to recruit a guy that just happened upon the chat. Was a frustrating time, kinda like talking to my old self 70 days ago. The stranglehold that nic bitch has on people is maddening, sad....
Focus at work is much better. The home life is good, although my wife seems to think I am "cured". Need to come on here to get real support and have people that understand there are times when the nic whore just pulls on your sleeve, like a 4 year old that wants attention. Nothing else matters to that 4 year old, and will stop at nothing to get you to acknowledge them. I acknowledge the craving.... look it in the eye and then walk away. Put some gum or fake in. Do something else.
Do something else indeed! Damn proud of you!
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Day 72 - I feel the need to come on here and post an update, but not much is to really update.
I am in the waiting portion of the early quit. We in May have not gotten where the HOF is hitting our group. There is very little that will make me think that a dip is a good idea. Ho Hum...
Being involved in the Sheet for the group helps keeps me interested and active. I am thankful for that. If any young quitter is reading through this Intro and wondering if you should step up, DO IT! It really gives you an appreciation for the ODAAT mantra.
That's all I got for now. Life is good, especially without having a shitty habit to drag me down. 'nutkick'
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Day 72 - I feel the need to come on here and post an update, but not much is to really update.
I am in the waiting portion of the early quit. We in May have not gotten where the HOF is hitting our group. There is very little that will make me think that a dip is a good idea. Ho Hum...
Being involved in the Sheet for the group helps keeps me interested and active. I am thankful for that. If any young quitter is reading through this Intro and wondering if you should step up, DO IT! It really gives you an appreciation for the ODAAT mantra.
That's all I got for now. Life is good, especially without having a shitty habit to drag me down. 'nutkick'
Donkey,
You're in the middle of a pre-HOF funk. Funks come and go (but don't come to stay) even well after the HOF. Do the things you've done to keep you active. Active in your group in May, active in groups that came before, active in groups that will follow. The funk will pass. The "ho-hum" you feel is temporary. There will be more "ho-hum" periods to come, but you have the tools you need to get through them. Great job getting to day 72. Keep doing what you're doing and one day you'll be at day 7200 (and beyond).
Quit with you today.
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Just read your HOF speech. Damn. Powerful. Stuff.
I lost my father to pancreatic cancer far too long ago when he was far too young. But unlike you, I was stupid, as I continued to stuff my maw with Copenhagen as I watched him wilt away.
Other than that, I know how you feel. Hope you can find peace on this Mother's Day as she has now gone to be with her Father. (at least that's what I believe).
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Just read your HOF speech. Damn. Powerful. Stuff.
I lost my father to pancreatic cancer far too long ago when he was far too young. But unlike you, I was stupid, as I continued to stuff my maw with Copenhagen as I watched him wilt away.
Other than that, I know how you feel. Hope you can find peace on this Mother's Day as she has now gone to be with her Father. (at least that's what I believe).
Thank you bud.
Yesterday was very..... well it was just weird, having to hold a good face for my wife and kids - because it was her day too. And I thought about my Mom probably 200 times, saddened.... just a damn emotional roller coaster.
Day 105 and QLF.
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Day 121 -
If you are reading this and you are a quitter just starting... keep the faith. A quit goes through many ups and downs. There are a lot of posts on here when people need help, and things are bad. But I wanted to take time to post when something is good. Our May 17 group is about done with the HOF. It is a time of reflection. Of appreciation of what I have done to this point. Not only that, but the funks that come and go, are getting fewer and farther between.
I am at a high point in the roller coaster now. I use fake dip yet, but mostly only when I drink, and at work once in a while. I go through a can about every 2 weeks. I can see myself being rid of it - which is nice. But I know to keep my mind even keel. I am not going to get cocky, overconfident... it can turn in an instant, be ready, this is the reality of nicotine free life.
I stand guard at the gates, waiting. waiting. protect the quit at all costs.
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Day 150-
A little frustrating funk today. Strange because the past 30+ days have been really good. You hear that? 30 damn days of living my life without any problems / craves. I think possibly the fact that a member caved at 154 days in our group is the cause of this... who knows.
Anxiety is up today, wish I had a punching bag. 'blowup'
I know this is temporary, and I have plenty to be thankful for. I just wanted to vent a bit. Quit on, you crazy diamond.
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Day 204-
Being as how I read in BrianG's intro some sort of reflection on the days from 101-200, I figured I would write something as well.
Things really do just keep getting better, just very slowly.... my fake chew intake is pretty much the same as it was at that day 121. Don't really have hard cravings, but at this point I think I am just a beaten down quitter that is tired from saying no to these little cravings that hit. I picture myself as in the corner of the boxing ring at round 7... tired but knowing I must keep going. There are 15 rounds in this heavyweight fight. I haven't come this far to be a wussy caver now.
The challenge is to stay involved, stay vigilant. When I coined that term for July I had no idea how I was speaking to myself. Days in the 100's are a lonely dark place. Keep trying until you can't try anymore.... then try a little more.
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Day 204-
Being as how I read in BrianG's intro some sort of reflection on the days from 101-200, I figured I would write something as well.
Things really do just keep getting better, just very slowly.... my fake chew intake is pretty much the same as it was at that day 121. Don't really have hard cravings, but at this point I think I am just a beaten down quitter that is tired from saying no to these little cravings that hit. I picture myself as in the corner of the boxing ring at round 7... tired but knowing I must keep going. There are 15 rounds in this heavyweight fight. I haven't come this far to be a wussy caver now.
The challenge is to stay involved, stay vigilant. When I coined that term for July I had no idea how I was speaking to myself. Days in the 100's are a lonely dark place. Keep trying until you can't try anymore.... then try a little more.
Thank you for telling me for for days on end to be vigilant! Lead the way for me Donk! IQWYT! We are in this together and I'm ALL in! I got the smelling salts ready for round 8...let's go.
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Day 226-
Got a good blindside hit yesterday. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.
What one person sees, another can see as a complete opposite. Two sides to every coin.
Gonna slow down a bit on here, but keep posting and my word. Need a break as this shit is getting too real.
Don't need my quit or my character put on blast, got way too many more important things to deal with than that.
Will be posting support in spirit for the groups I do daily. Anyone who wants to message me will get one back.
I ain't going nowhere
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Day 226-
Got a good blindside hit yesterday. Everything changes, nothing stays the same.
What one person sees, another can see as a complete opposite. Two sides to every coin.
Gonna slow down a bit on here, but keep posting and my word. Need a break as this shit is getting too real.
Don't need my quit or my character put on blast, got way too many more important things to deal with than that.
Will be posting support in spirit for the groups I do daily. Anyone who wants to message me will get one back.
I ain't going nowhere
Not sure what the issue is, but "fock 'em feed 'em fish heads!"
You know who you are, in the eyes of God. That is sufficient.
Support comes when you need it.
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Day 294-
Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...
I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.
I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....
Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.
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Day 294-
Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...
I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.
I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....
Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.
Donkey....
Dude, you're doing exactly what you need to be doing. Document the hows, whys, and wherefores..... Hate to tell you but craves will continue to come out of the blue for many more days and months. I remember one at the post TWO YEAR mark.... like WTH??? You are sitting there minding your own business and all a sudden you get hit with it. Of course, I have like more than 100 numbers in my phone....was pretty easy for me to call up a brother in quit and just tell him what happened. Don't think I was ever in danger of caving, but still.... I HATE that friggin' insidious weed.
Although I don't have the time daily to continue to post with May '17 and all the others, know that I'm quit with you EDD in spirit, and at least once a week on your rolls!! And tell Leo to go find something productive to do!!
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Day 294-
Really been a smooth ride the past 50 days or so. No real issues...
I went into a gas station a couple days ago, something that I have done with ease for the past couple hundred days. I would look at that display of death with a passing glance - no big deal mostly contempt. However something a couple days ago just hit me with a longing feeling, just a crave that hit like a quick slap to the face.
I got my shit and got the heck out of there, sat in my truck shaking my head like... WTF was that? Man- that was something to really think about. I have been a little cocky lately about my quit. "I got this licked... I've been through everything and passed that test." Complacency is a mother fucker - kick it in the cooter and stay focused. Remind yourself why you quit. Remember that feeling why....
Edit: Wanted to say that I very rarely use the fake anymore. Don't have the need to do that much. There it is, another milestone that was hit, around the time others said it would be.
I still use the fake stuff few times a day and I kind of like doing it. My hope is over more time it will fade away and I won't want it but that has not happened for me yet. I still think hey I'm not using anything with nic so I'm winning.
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Great story Donkey, thanks for sharing...and some helpful comments from the others.
Really like the idea of documenting close calls, moments of temptation, triggers, weird craves and the like. I think taking a minute to write it down takes away any power those ideas (and the Nic bitch that peddles them) may have over us.
As for the fake, I have a tin in my car, a tin in my coat and a tin in my sock drawer...I do not want to get caught short at this stage. However, I have dropped from my early days of three or four fake dips a day down to about 3 a week. Seed use remaining pretty constant, however.
I think keeping a pack of seeds and a can of Smokey Mountain handy at all times is pretty cheap insurance.
Keep up the great work and proud to quit with you today brother!
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Congrats on 1 year!!! That's bad-ass!!
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congrats on that first trip around the sun brother!
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Congrats on a year brotha!!
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Congrats on 1 year! I hadn't read you intro before today, that's some great stuff!
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Day 366-
First I want to say thank you to all the people that messaged me either on the forum here or texting to congratulate me for a year of quit. (did you all hear that? A YEAR OF QUIT!)
I had no idea what I was walking into here when I signed up one calendar year ago. On this day one year ago exactly, I was sitting in my car after driving our turn for the kids' band carpool trying to figure out how to use this site on a smart phone. I remember it very clearly, almost as if it is an out of body experience now like I left the person I used to be and entered into a new mindset.
I try my best to help new quitters now. Lord knows I can't get to everyone, not even close. I wish I could but I am also a Husband, Father of 2, Cub Scout den leader, Baseball, Football, Basketball head coach, Fisherman, Hunter.... oh, and I am expected to work 40 hours a week. The most amazing part of all of that, is I learned to do it all without dipping. I have made it through all the tests.
Now, I have to do it again. I have read on here that the seasonal triggers will still be there, just not as bad. I believe it.
Here we go on year 2 'oh yeah'
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Day 366-
First I want to say thank you to all the people that messaged me either on the forum here or texting to congratulate me for a year of quit. (did you all hear that? A YEAR OF QUIT!)
I had no idea what I was walking into here when I signed up one calendar year ago. On this day one year ago exactly, I was sitting in my car after driving our turn for the kids' band carpool trying to figure out how to use this site on a smart phone. I remember it very clearly, almost as if it is an out of body experience now like I left the person I used to be and entered into a new mindset.
I try my best to help new quitters now. Lord knows I can't get to everyone, not even close. I wish I could but I am also a Husband, Father of 2, Cub Scout den leader, Baseball, Football, Basketball head coach, Fisherman, Hunter.... oh, and I am expected to work 40 hours a week. The most amazing part of all of that, is I learned to do it all without dipping. I have made it through all the tests.
Now, I have to do it again. I have read on here that the seasonal triggers will still be there, just not as bad. I believe it.
Here we go on year 2 'oh yeah'
Congrats again brother!! ODAAT
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Day 366-
First I want to say thank you to all the people that messaged me either on the forum here or texting to congratulate me for a year of quit. (did you all hear that? A YEAR OF QUIT!)
I had no idea what I was walking into here when I signed up one calendar year ago. On this day one year ago exactly, I was sitting in my car after driving our turn for the kids' band carpool trying to figure out how to use this site on a smart phone. I remember it very clearly, almost as if it is an out of body experience now like I left the person I used to be and entered into a new mindset.
I try my best to help new quitters now. Lord knows I can't get to everyone, not even close. I wish I could but I am also a Husband, Father of 2, Cub Scout den leader, Baseball, Football, Basketball head coach, Fisherman, Hunter.... oh, and I am expected to work 40 hours a week. The most amazing part of all of that, is I learned to do it all without dipping. I have made it through all the tests.
Now, I have to do it again. I have read on here that the seasonal triggers will still be there, just not as bad. I believe it.
Here we go on year 2 'oh yeah'
Congrats again brother!! ODAAT
Ok! Donkey donkey ...congrats on your 1 year quitversary!!
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Day 451 -
I posted this in May18 yesterday and wanted to put it in here, as a reminder. Some stuff you write on here might not get seen, but I want to keep it where I can see it again.
This shit right here is why we need to be reminded we are addicts.
Does it get annoying or repetitive to put your screenname and a number down, day after day? Yes. No shit it does.
But I know myself. The weak lying to myself side. The whisper of, "well, I am strong now. I dont know why I need this...." Fucking addict speak, to quote WW.
It is part of the price to pay for being quit. A daily promise to others here but more importantly, TO YOURSELF. Being honest and keeping that weak ass, lying side in check where it belongs.
Quit fucking lying to yourself. Who is holding you accountable? Someone else, or your own brass balls?
What a glorious feeling it is to look back on an intro and read back your own words... like another person wrote them. I dont think about dip, unless I am here. And that is a good thing. Never forget what happened, learn from the past.
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Congrats on 5-0-0 days quit! Very well done sir!
Keep doing what you do and proud to quit with you!
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Congrats Brother, proud to be in your corner.
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Congratulations Donkey on that half dangling quit!!!
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Congrats on 5-0-0 days quit! Very well done sir!
Keep doing what you do and proud to quit with you!
Congrats Donkey!!
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Day 574-
When asked if the craves ever stop by a quitter around 200 days, I responded and this should go in here
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Well, that depends on who you ask. For myself, it has not. I will go weeks, sometimes even a couple months now, and nothing. No thoughts, craves, whatever.... Then sometimes things hit you. I will share a story with you that happened only 2 weeks ago.
My 11 year old son whom I have played baseball with since he was 2 years old, coached him the last 5 years in the local small town league wanted to "step it up" to the big league, a travel team. This means he needed to attend a tryout. Well, parents were explicitly NOT ALLOWED at the 1.5 hr tryout. I didn't see it coming, but let me tell you.... when my boy walked away from me, into that complex to play ball without me.... I fucking lost it. I sat there lonely as you all felt on day 3. I didn't really have a plan for the next 1.5 hours. I went to the local sports store and fucked around for a half hour, but then, I drove around. I ended up back at the park and across the road was a C-store. I have not wanted to go get my ol' buddy Grizzly as bad as then, in the past 300 days.
I put in a stick of gum, and pulled out the phone and tried to pass time on KTC. If it would have been any worse, I would have made the texts / call to any other quitter. I was not prepared.
Sometimes you need to get some water, do some pushups, all the same things we did in those first 30 days just to get by. And you know what? It's ok to keep doing that. There is no shame. There is no shame in reminding yourself you need some help, because nicotine is still a naggy bitch.
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Day 574-
When asked if the craves ever stop by a quitter around 200 days, I responded and this should go in here
-
-
Well, that depends on who you ask. For myself, it has not. I will go weeks, sometimes even a couple months now, and nothing. No thoughts, craves, whatever.... Then sometimes things hit you. I will share a story with you that happened only 2 weeks ago.
My 11 year old son whom I have played baseball with since he was 2 years old, coached him the last 5 years in the local small town league wanted to "step it up" to the big league, a travel team. This means he needed to attend a tryout. Well, parents were explicitly NOT ALLOWED at the 1.5 hr tryout. I didn't see it coming, but let me tell you.... when my boy walked away from me, into that complex to play ball without me.... I fucking lost it. I sat there lonely as you all felt on day 3. I didn't really have a plan for the next 1.5 hours. I went to the local sports store and fucked around for a half hour, but then, I drove around. I ended up back at the park and across the road was a C-store. I have not wanted to go get my ol' buddy Grizzly as bad as then, in the past 300 days.
I put in a stick of gum, and pulled out the phone and tried to pass time on KTC. If it would have been any worse, I would have made the texts / call to any other quitter. I was not prepared.
Sometimes you need to get some water, do some pushups, all the same things we did in those first 30 days just to get by. And you know what? It's ok to keep doing that. There is no shame. There is no shame in reminding yourself you need some help, because nicotine is still a naggy bitch.
Nice win!!
How did your boy do?
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Day 574-
When asked if the craves ever stop by a quitter around 200 days, I responded and this should go in here
-
-
Well, that depends on who you ask. For myself, it has not. I will go weeks, sometimes even a couple months now, and nothing. No thoughts, craves, whatever.... Then sometimes things hit you. I will share a story with you that happened only 2 weeks ago.
My 11 year old son whom I have played baseball with since he was 2 years old, coached him the last 5 years in the local small town league wanted to "step it up" to the big league, a travel team. This means he needed to attend a tryout. Well, parents were explicitly NOT ALLOWED at the 1.5 hr tryout. I didn't see it coming, but let me tell you.... when my boy walked away from me, into that complex to play ball without me.... I fucking lost it. I sat there lonely as you all felt on day 3. I didn't really have a plan for the next 1.5 hours. I went to the local sports store and fucked around for a half hour, but then, I drove around. I ended up back at the park and across the road was a C-store. I have not wanted to go get my ol' buddy Grizzly as bad as then, in the past 300 days.
I put in a stick of gum, and pulled out the phone and tried to pass time on KTC. If it would have been any worse, I would have made the texts / call to any other quitter. I was not prepared.
Sometimes you need to get some water, do some pushups, all the same things we did in those first 30 days just to get by. And you know what? It's ok to keep doing that. There is no shame. There is no shame in reminding yourself you need some help, because nicotine is still a naggy bitch.
Nice win!!
How did your boy do?
Sorry about not answering this, with the conversion and all, this was left in the dust. Thank you to the Admin that moved this over from the old space!
There were 50 kids trying out and they made 3 teams - A, AA, AAA
He was good enough to make the AAA travel team. We are ecstatic, and now realizing our summer is going to be dedicated to tournaments in various cities.
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Day 905 --
Hi all, just wanted to put this here. We are trying to get this out everywhere to ease the cost of what has suddenly become a very short notice trip to Florida for my sons 11 year old baseball team. They play Cal Ripken league 70 major association, and after last weekend they won their regional and have qualified for the National tournament in Treasure Coast FL !!!
My kiddo scored the winning run, sliding under the tag in the championship game from a base hit up the middle!
https://www.gofundme.com/f/wpbr-11u-going-to-the-world-series?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet (https://www.gofundme.com/f/wpbr-11u-going-to-the-world-series?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet)
Whether anyone donates or not, I just wanted to share this and my boy is the little smiler on the far left. Life is good brothers, and it is only amplified not having any distractions like nicotine.
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Day 1,018
I feel a bit of a renewed vigor for this site and community. I had a co-worker try to quit and get to day 5 before caving like a little bitch. His 3rd attempt since I have killed the can. It's funny, how he is 25, no kids, not married. He knows it is terrible for him, but the extra reasons just aren't there to push him to stick with it. Life is full of could have / should haves
Thank you to all the people that have stuck around, with me whether you knew it or not. Funny, a thousand days seems like such a huge number but when you live it and look back... its a blink.
ODAAT we live this life of misery, happiness, weakness, strength, hate and love. Don't need nicotine for any of it. Nope.
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I'm routinely amazed and saddened by those who try to escape but either can't or won't. The pleasure of that second pinch having faded so long ago, driven now only by addiction, each subsequent pinch only staving off a cave yet never satisfying. And freedom is so very close for them - but one decision away.
So very pleased that you are free my brother - and thank-you for sticking around and providing a context within which myself and others could find the path to freedom.
Indebted to you.
IQWYT
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Day 2,684
Quit 7 1/2 years ago...
It has been almost 5 years since my last post in here.
I read through my introduction and remember most of it and am thankful for documenting the journey, it shines a light to what was a wild time of my life.
The community and site have been through alot since, from almost imploding from a certain group in January, to going to another platform where TBH, I just dont like. I still post here most every day on the old forum. It keeps me honest and quit. I lost my 100% streak a couple years ago and was a little bummed about it but it doesnt affect my quit in the slightest. I know what it takes to stay quit. I have looked at a cigar from time to time and been offered, tempted to have one but then Im like, why? Just to do what someone else is doing? What a dumbass reason to break from whats working....
I never want to go back. I have saved alot of money, time, and embarrassment by not having that shit in my life. I look at others chewing and am disgusted at it, and thats where I should be. ODAAT
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Day 2,684
Quit 7 1/2 years ago...
It has been almost 5 years since my last post in here.
I read through my introduction and remember most of it and am thankful for documenting the journey, it shines a light to what was a wild time of my life.
The community and site have been through alot since, from almost imploding from a certain group in January, to going to another platform where TBH, I just dont like. I still post here most every day on the old forum. It keeps me honest and quit. I lost my 100% streak a couple years ago and was a little bummed about it but it doesnt affect my quit in the slightest. I know what it takes to stay quit. I have looked at a cigar from time to time and been offered, tempted to have one but then Im like, why? Just to do what someone else is doing? What a dumbass reason to break from whats working....
I never want to go back. I have saved alot of money, time, and embarrassment by not having that shit in my life. I look at others chewing and am disgusted at it, and thats where I should be. ODAAT
Hell.
Yes.
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Day 2,684
Quit 7 1/2 years ago...
It has been almost 5 years since my last post in here.
I read through my introduction and remember most of it and am thankful for documenting the journey, it shines a light to what was a wild time of my life.
The community and site have been through alot since, from almost imploding from a certain group in January, to going to another platform where TBH, I just dont like. I still post here most every day on the old forum. It keeps me honest and quit. I lost my 100% streak a couple years ago and was a little bummed about it but it doesnt affect my quit in the slightest. I know what it takes to stay quit. I have looked at a cigar from time to time and been offered, tempted to have one but then Im like, why? Just to do what someone else is doing? What a dumbass reason to break from whats working....
I never want to go back. I have saved alot of money, time, and embarrassment by not having that shit in my life. I look at others chewing and am disgusted at it, and thats where I should be. ODAAT
Hell.
Yes.
Preach it
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Day 2,684
Quit 7 1/2 years ago...
It has been almost 5 years since my last post in here.
I read through my introduction and remember most of it and am thankful for documenting the journey, it shines a light to what was a wild time of my life.
The community and site have been through alot since, from almost imploding from a certain group in January, to going to another platform where TBH, I just dont like. I still post here most every day on the old forum. It keeps me honest and quit. I lost my 100% streak a couple years ago and was a little bummed about it but it doesnt affect my quit in the slightest. I know what it takes to stay quit. I have looked at a cigar from time to time and been offered, tempted to have one but then Im like, why? Just to do what someone else is doing? What a dumbass reason to break from whats working....
I never want to go back. I have saved alot of money, time, and embarrassment by not having that shit in my life. I look at others chewing and am disgusted at it, and thats where I should be. ODAAT
Hell.
Yes.
Preach it
Donkeeey! excellent!