KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: GBPid on May 16, 2012, 10:23:00 PM
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
Welcome to KTC. Take a look around and read everything you can. This is not your average "don't worry if you fail, as long as your try" kind of site. But the site works if you are willing.
Start out with the WELCOME CENTER (pink tab upper left). Post roll with the Aug quit group once you understand what posting means.
This place has a simple concept, and we are damn serious about our quit.
Great decision. Send me a private message (PM) if there is anything I can help with.
One last thing - if your quitting for your son or wife, you will most likely fail. You will also resent them for standing in the way of you and your "friend". Quit for yourself. Quit to stop being nicotine's bitch.
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
Gbpid. Glad to read your post.
Where are you at with kill the can? Are you totally nic free? I mean no patches, gum, cigars, or nicotine laced dildos? You quit cold turkey right?
Next question, have you posted roll in August?
Any questions for me. Just want to make sure you are set up and prepared for a war!
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
GB that is really great, a 8 yr old what a impressionable age. He will rembember what his dad did for him. He may not fully understand but you just keep telling him and your wife that you love them, but you are quitting for you 1st and then for them. The resources here are amazing and very informative but your quit will come down to one very simple concept: Quit early every day, Make that promise and commitment to your group, Stay nicotine free for the entire day and repeat the process the next day!! That simple.
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
Gbpid. Glad to read your post.
Where are you at with kill the can? Are you totally nic free? I mean no patches, gum, cigars, or nicotine laced dildos? You quit cold turkey right?
Next question, have you posted roll in August?
Any questions for me. Just want to make sure you are set up and prepared for a war!
Totally nic free. Will post roll for August. Big day ahead. 4 hours in the car
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So I am at the end of day 3 and telling my wife how cranky I am, when my 8 year old son asks what is Kodiak. Never one to lie to him I admit that I have dipped for way too long and just quit. He says good he doesn't want to go to my funeral. One day at a time, but I know I have had my last dip
Welcome to KTC. Take a look around and read everything you can. This is not your average "don't worry if you fail, as long as your try" kind of site. But the site works if you are willing.
Start out with the WELCOME CENTER (pink tab upper left). Post roll with the Aug quit group once you understand what posting means.
This place has a simple concept, and we are damn serious about our quit.
Great decision. Send me a private message (PM) if there is anything I can help with.
One last thing - if your quitting for your son or wife, you will most likely fail. You will also resent them for standing in the way of you and your "friend". Quit for yourself. Quit to stop being nicotine's bitch.
Welcome to your freedom GBP! You are quit!
Zam told you all the important stuff, go post roll, pledge your quit for the day. Do it again tomorrow. It helped my quit a lot to read all the great info posted at this site. PM me if I can help.
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Thanks for the early support.. I had a brutal day 4 start. Four hour drive leaving the house at 5 am. The cravings were bad but what really got me was the feeling of sickness. Nausea, dizziness, headache, if I didn't have to make my appt would have pulled over not to get in a wreck. Two hour presentation and a sligh craving later, I feel like th nic bitch is slowly letting go physically and now the mental fight begins
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Thanks for the early support.. I had a brutal day 4 start. Four hour drive leaving the house at 5 am. The cravings were bad but what really got me was the feeling of sickness. Nausea, dizziness, headache, if I didn't have to make my appt would have pulled over not to get in a wreck. Two hour presentation and a sligh craving later, I feel like th nic bitch is slowly letting go physically and now the mental fight begins
'clap'
Excellent: You are suffering because you are expelling the poisons in you. So you should feel sick. Detox is working.
Remember everything you hate about this. Feel and understand the pain and process of this. As you do, and as you suffer, you will have strength when you come out. You will have no desire to go back.
If you are agitated, come here and vent. We can handle rage. Cyber punching is fun for people in a nic rage. Overdo it on being nice to your loved ones. They didn't do this to you, they don't deserve you wrath.
I know it is hard, but if you quit and I mean really quit, you will only get this painful experience once. Embrace it!
YOU GOT THIS. Just get through today and get in bed as soon as you can tonight. If you wake up, repeat but don't worry about that. Worry about the experience today. Oh you should make this page your journal. Record thoughts and feelings about your experiences so when you have a few days under your belt, you will never get complacent in your quit.
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Thanks for the early support.. I had a brutal day 4 start. Four hour drive leaving the house at 5 am. The cravings were bad but what really got me was the feeling of sickness. Nausea, dizziness, headache, if I didn't have to make my appt would have pulled over not to get in a wreck. Two hour presentation and a sligh craving later, I feel like th nic bitch is slowly letting go physically and now the mental fight begins
'clap'
Excellent: You are suffering because you are expelling the poisons in you. So you should feel sick. Detox is working.
Remember everything you hate about this. Feel and understand the pain and process of this. As you do, and as you suffer, you will have strength when you come out. You will have no desire to go back.
If you are agitated, come here and vent. We can handle rage. Cyber punching is fun for people in a nic rage. Overdo it on being nice to your loved ones. They didn't do this to you, they don't deserve you wrath.
I know it is hard, but if you quit and I mean really quit, you will only get this painful experience once. Embrace it!
YOU GOT THIS. Just get through today and get in bed as soon as you can tonight. If you wake up, repeat but don't worry about that. Worry about the experience today. Oh you should make this page your journal. Record thoughts and feelings about your experiences so when you have a few days under your belt, you will never get complacent in your quit.
Great, great job.
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MT
Following your lead with the journal. Helps to put it out there. If someone reads and comments all the better, but having something to remember why I don't want to go through this again is what matters. Another big step for me today. Played golf and ran into two friends one with cope one with the bear. Slight urge but knew I would not cave. Drink at the turn and still no cave. Golf game suffered a bit but well worth it to know i beat the bitch today.
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End of day five and I survived another 4 hour drive. Glad I stumbled onto ktc because the support and accountability has already made a difference. For those who have reached out and those part of my August quit group I will give a bit more on who I'm because I plan on being here for a long time.
My parents were both teachers at a boarding school and as a result i started dipping early. First dip was skoal wintergreen. Slowly moved to Kodiak and remember by sophomore summer legion ball I was fully committed. Continued into college Ball with a back and forth the between cope and the bear. 25 years later a wife , son, and two daughters multiple "quits" with nicorette and I finally came to the realization that not only could I live without her but nicotine has never given only taken.
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The prize = Quality of life.
Get some!!!!
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End of day five and I survived another 4 hour drive. Glad I stumbled onto ktc because the support and accountability has already made a difference. For those who have reached out and those part of my August quit group I will give a bit more on who I'm because I plan on being here for a long time.
My parents were both teachers at a boarding school and as a result i started dipping early. First dip was skoal wintergreen. Slowly moved to Kodiak and remember by sophomore summer legion ball I was fully committed. Continued into college Ball with a back and forth the between cope and the bear. 25 years later a wife , son, and two daughters multiple "quits" with nicorette and I finally came to the realization that not only could I live without her but nicotine has never given only taken.
All ready 5 days? You are 5 and 0 with the nic bitch. To remain undefeated, only focus and only worry about the match you are in. Tomorrow's match doesn't matter until you win today.
BTW. Making it 5 days is huge! The physical battle is tough. Now your brain has a long period of rewireing. You have fogs, funks, constipation and triggers. It gets easier but you won't feel normal or better. You can handle it. You are mentally healing. You will have some surprisingly good days but some tough days too. That's what we are here for. When its tough, get a lifeline.
In short enjoy the experience just dismiss the nic bitch. Don't entertain her, just say, not now, not today. If you can't seem to dismiss her, pm for backup.
GbPid, stay focused but love the victories! The more you have, the more you want. Each quit day and you will feel more and more confident that you are quit. I'm here for you anytime! Anyone at kTC is here for you.
Keep writing. Helps me get to know you better.
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Nice work in here. Keep fighting brother.
Ton of fuckers here who can help. Thing is to reach out and let them know. I got laser vision that can melt linoleum but I can't read minds yet so you get on the site and reach out when shit hits the fan.
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Nice work in here. Keep fighting brother.
Ton of fuckers here who can help. Thing is to reach out and let them know. I got laser vision that can melt linoleum but I can't read minds yet so you get on the site and reach out when shit hits the fan.
Thanks souliman,
Today was a tough day. About 4 hours on the diamond with my son and then a BBQ at our house. Who shows up? The bear and Romeo and Juliet. Believe it or not I had a harder time turning down the cigar than the Kodiak. If not for ktc I guarantee I would have sucked down the cigar and been caught in the trap chewie describes in his blog. I quit today and will commit to quit with my August brothers first thing tomorrow.
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Nice work in here. Keep fighting brother.
Ton of fuckers here who can help. Thing is to reach out and let them know. I got laser vision that can melt linoleum but I can't read minds yet so you get on the site and reach out when shit hits the fan.
Thanks souliman,
Today was a tough day. About 4 hours on the diamond with my son and then a BBQ at our house. Who shows up? The bear and Romeo and Juliet. Believe it or not I had a harder time turning down the cigar than the Kodiak. If not for ktc I guarantee I would have sucked down the cigar and been caught in the trap chewie describes in his blog. I quit today and will commit to quit with my August brothers first thing tomorrow.
Way To Go! Feel those balls growing??
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Days 7 and 8 had no major hurdles well except that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me something is missing. Like most of you here as time went by I found a way to associate everything with dipping. Time to drive, dip, time to work in the yard, dip, time to take a shit, dip, time to shower, dip, conference call,dip, golf, dip, fishinging, dip. The one that is triggering the strongest craves right now is as I get to my last couple bites of breakfast lunch or dinner my mind starts preparing for the after meal fix.
Feels weird to say how powerful a few responses online or a list of names each morning has had, but already there have been numerous times where I have said I will not disappear and have a bunch of quitting ass mofos talking shit about me.
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Day 17 and going strong. The voice in the back of my head is still there constantly telling me something is missing, but the cravings have not been too strong.
Good feeling this morning as I dropped my son off at school. He asked from the the back seat if he could finish the ice tea he found in the back and I was able to immediately answer yes without looking to make sure it wasnt a spitter. The little things start to add up and add more conviction to the quit!
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Morning of Day 22, I had my first "good dip dream" if you will. I have always had dip dreams I was dipping. The ones where I had a full can in my mouth and could not spit it out. Not spit, but actually couldn't get the dip out of my mouth no matter how many times I spit.
The dream this morning I was back in a dorm room and found a can of skoal wintergreen in a dresser drawer. (would love a shrink to tell me why my mind went back to that time) I Have not bought a can of skoal in probably 15 years. I said to myself, I can just have one. No one will know and it's been 3 weeks. Took a big pinch and before I could push it down between my cheek and gum, I immediatley spit it out. In my dream I was already plannning my defense to my KTC quit group whether it counted as a chew. Was ready to start posting in Sept. As good as it felt to wake up, it is a scarey reminder of how easy it could be to lose the hard work and support during these past 3 weeks. Not today Nic!
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Morning of Day 22, I had my first "good dip dream" if you will. I have always had dip dreams I was dipping. The ones where I had a full can in my mouth and could not spit it out. Not spit, but actually couldn't get the dip out of my mouth no matter how many times I spit.
The dream this morning I was back in a dorm room and found a can of skoal wintergreen in a dresser drawer. (would love a shrink to tell me why my mind went back to that time) I Have not bought a can of skoal in probably 15 years. I said to myself, I can just have one. No one will know and it's been 3 weeks. Took a big pinch and before I could push it down between my cheek and gum, I immediatley spit it out. In my dream I was already plannning my defense to my KTC quit group whether it counted as a chew. Was ready to start posting in Sept. As good as it felt to wake up, it is a scarey reminder of how easy it could be to lose the hard work and support during these past 3 weeks. Not today Nic!
dude - i had the SAME EXACT dream about the same time (sans the college part)
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Morning of Day 22, I had my first "good dip dream" if you will. I have always had dip dreams I was dipping. The ones where I had a full can in my mouth and could not spit it out. Not spit, but actually couldn't get the dip out of my mouth no matter how many times I spit.
The dream this morning I was back in a dorm room and found a can of skoal wintergreen in a dresser drawer. (would love a shrink to tell me why my mind went back to that time) I Have not bought a can of skoal in probably 15 years. I said to myself, I can just have one. No one will know and it's been 3 weeks. Took a big pinch and before I could push it down between my cheek and gum, I immediatley spit it out. In my dream I was already plannning my defense to my KTC quit group whether it counted as a chew. Was ready to start posting in Sept. As good as it felt to wake up, it is a scarey reminder of how easy it could be to lose the hard work and support during these past 3 weeks. Not today Nic!
dude - i had the SAME EXACT dream about the same time (sans the college part)
I think both our dreams speak to the power of nic and the power of ktc
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Morning of Day 22, I had my first "good dip dream" if you will. I have always had dip dreams I was dipping. The ones where I had a full can in my mouth and could not spit it out. Not spit, but actually couldn't get the dip out of my mouth no matter how many times I spit.
The dream this morning I was back in a dorm room and found a can of skoal wintergreen in a dresser drawer. (would love a shrink to tell me why my mind went back to that time) I Have not bought a can of skoal in probably 15 years. I said to myself, I can just have one. No one will know and it's been 3 weeks. Took a big pinch and before I could push it down between my cheek and gum, I immediatley spit it out. In my dream I was already plannning my defense to my KTC quit group whether it counted as a chew. Was ready to start posting in Sept. As good as it felt to wake up, it is a scarey reminder of how easy it could be to lose the hard work and support during these past 3 weeks. Not today Nic!
dude - i had the SAME EXACT dream about the same time (sans the college part)
I think both our dreams speak to the power of nic and the power of ktc
That makes 3 of us. I had that exact same dream about 80 days ago. Feckin weird.
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Day 28, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" talk about a fucked up day. Woke up and had coffee on the porch with my wife, didn't have to cut our conversation short so I could get my post coffee dip. It felt great to actually plan out our day without me having to come up with a lame shit excuse for the dip. Then the cravings kicked in. As bad as the first three days. I never game close to breaking but for the rest of the day the nic bitch was sitting on my shoulder. The good news is she stayed on my shoulder. Sat right there while I stayed in the pool teaching my youngest to swim for 45 minutes. Can't tell you the last time I swam that long without getting out to sneak a lipper. She sat there later in the day while I also taught the youngest to ride her bike without spitting all over the driveway. And she sat there while I read in bed with my wife without having to come up with yet another excuse to go downstairs for a final final". I don't think she liked watching me enjoy all these things without her and and she'd decided to go fatal attraction on me in my dreams. I was bragging to all my buddies how I finally quit the bitch and they started laughing at me. When I asked why, they pointed to the big wad between my cheek and gum. My response, "this is just my 30 day celebration dip". Talk about waking up with the sweats! As GW says " fool me once shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
Saying goodbye to the nic lies!
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Day 28, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" talk about a fucked up day. Woke up and had coffee on the porch with my wife, didn't have to cut our conversation short so I could get my post coffee dip. It felt great to actually plan out our day without me having to come up with a lame shit excuse for the dip. Then the cravings kicked in. As bad as the first three days. I never game close to breaking but for the rest of the day the nic bitch was sitting on my shoulder. The good news is she stayed on my shoulder. Sat right there while I stayed in the pool teaching my youngest to swim for 45 minutes. Can't tell you the last time I swam that long without getting out to sneak a lipper. She sat there later in the day while I also taught the youngest to ride her bike without spitting all over the driveway. And she sat there while I read in bed with my wife without having to come up with yet another excuse to go downstairs for a final final". I don't think she liked watching me enjoy all these things without her and and she'd decided to go fatal attraction on me in my dreams. I was bragging to all my buddies how I finally quit the bitch and they started laughing at me. When I asked why, they pointed to the big wad between my cheek and gum. My response, "this is just my 30 day celebration dip". Talk about waking up with the sweats! As GW says " fool me once shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
Saying goodbye to the nic lies!
congrats
Most likely a milestone passed. Craves will get easier to handle. Mine now a very intense but very short gone in minutes. keep it up
Remember
Post roll
Quit for today and today only
Repeat tomorrow
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Day 28, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" talk about a fucked up day. Woke up and had coffee on the porch with my wife, didn't have to cut our conversation short so I could get my post coffee dip. It felt great to actually plan out our day without me having to come up with a lame shit excuse for the dip. Then the cravings kicked in. As bad as the first three days. I never game close to breaking but for the rest of the day the nic bitch was sitting on my shoulder. The good news is she stayed on my shoulder. Sat right there while I stayed in the pool teaching my youngest to swim for 45 minutes. Can't tell you the last time I swam that long without getting out to sneak a lipper. She sat there later in the day while I also taught the youngest to ride her bike without spitting all over the driveway. And she sat there while I read in bed with my wife without having to come up with yet another excuse to go downstairs for a final final". I don't think she liked watching me enjoy all these things without her and and she'd decided to go fatal attraction on me in my dreams. I was bragging to all my buddies how I finally quit the bitch and they started laughing at me. When I asked why, they pointed to the big wad between my cheek and gum. My response, "this is just my 30 day celebration dip". Talk about waking up with the sweats! As GW says " fool me once shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
Saying goodbye to the nic lies!
congrats
Most likely a milestone passed. Craves will get easier to handle. Mine now a very intense but very short gone in minutes. keep it up
Remember
Post roll
Quit for today and today only
Repeat tomorrow
Love the George quote and I know what you mean about the dreams. They suck. I'd like to tell you that you don't get them after awhile, but that would be a lie. Stay strong and stay quit.
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Day 28, "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" talk about a fucked up day. Woke up and had coffee on the porch with my wife, didn't have to cut our conversation short so I could get my post coffee dip. It felt great to actually plan out our day without me having to come up with a lame shit excuse for the dip. Then the cravings kicked in. As bad as the first three days. I never game close to breaking but for the rest of the day the nic bitch was sitting on my shoulder. The good news is she stayed on my shoulder. Sat right there while I stayed in the pool teaching my youngest to swim for 45 minutes. Can't tell you the last time I swam that long without getting out to sneak a lipper. She sat there later in the day while I also taught the youngest to ride her bike without spitting all over the driveway. And she sat there while I read in bed with my wife without having to come up with yet another excuse to go downstairs for a final final". I don't think she liked watching me enjoy all these things without her and and she'd decided to go fatal attraction on me in my dreams. I was bragging to all my buddies how I finally quit the bitch and they started laughing at me. When I asked why, they pointed to the big wad between my cheek and gum. My response, "this is just my 30 day celebration dip". Talk about waking up with the sweats! As GW says " fool me once shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
Saying goodbye to the nic lies!
congrats
Most likely a milestone passed. Craves will get easier to handle. Mine now a very intense but very short gone in minutes. keep it up
Remember
Post roll
Quit for today and today only
Repeat tomorrow
Love the George quote and I know what you mean about the dreams. They suck. I'd like to tell you that you don't get them after awhile, but that would be a lie. Stay strong and stay quit.
congrats you are winning I also had some fucked up days in the 20's also. Just always be prepared for what she throws at ya.
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During my quit and all of the reading on ktc I have thought a lot about past failed quits and in particular the "planned cave". While I didn't realize it at the time, here are a few of my past planned caves. Feel free to add any of yours.
1. The nicorette quit. I know I won't be able to last that long but it will make me feel good. It will suck a little but the nic bitch will still be with me.
2. The i will quit when this can is gone. Not really a cave but a sure thing way to delay the quit forever.
3. I'm quit I just threw a half chewed can in the garbage. I know in about 8 hours I will dig that bitch out of anything. I don't care what gets thrown on top of it.
4. I just won't buy a can ever again. If I run into someone who dips I can bum one but not that many people dip so it will work. Next thing you know you are at a ball game pissing in the urinal and the guy standing next to you has a fatty and you don't even hesitate to bum one while he is still pissing, but sure your "quit".
5. I can buy a can and just have one and then throw it out. We all know how this works out
6. The spite cave. Desperate for a reason we wait for our wife/girlfriend to piss us off to run to the cs.
7. The stress cave. Desperate for the bitch we look for any moment that warrents a cave. This can be serious stress from the loss of a love one, divorce, work related, but in the end nothing a dip will make better.
8. The non dip cave. Im strong enough to have a cigarette or cigar afterall im addicted to dip not smoking. This most likely takes the longest to get back to dipping but is a slow death for sure.
9. The celebratory/just one cave. I've made it this far I deserve one and one won't hurt me.
10. I drank to much. We all know when we are going to be around both booze and nic. If we dont plan ahead, We know we want the nic bitch after a few drinks.
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During my quit and all of the reading on ktc I have thought a lot about past failed quits and in particular the "planned cave". While I didn't realize it at the time, here are a few of my past planned caves. Feel free to add any of yours.
1. The nicorette quit. I know I won't be able to last that long but it will make me feel good. It will suck a little but the nic bitch will still be with me.
2. The i will quit when this can is gone. Not really a cave but a sure thing way to delay the quit forever.
3. I'm quit I just threw a half chewed can in the garbage. I know in about 8 hours I will dig that bitch out of anything. I don't care what gets thrown on top of it.
4. I just won't buy a can ever again. If I run into someone who dips I can bum one but not that many people dip so it will work. Next thing you know you are at a ball game pissing in the urinal and the guy standing next to you has a fatty and you don't even hesitate to bum one while he is still pissing, but sure your "quit".
5. I can buy a can and just have one and then throw it out. We all know how this works out
6. The spite cave. Desperate for a reason we wait for our wife/girlfriend to piss us off to run to the cs.
7. The stress cave. Desperate for the bitch we look for any moment that warrents a cave. This can be serious stress from the loss of a love one, divorce, work related, but in the end nothing a dip will make better.
8. The non dip cave. Im strong enough to have a cigarette or cigar afterall im addicted to dip not smoking. This most likely takes the longest to get back to dipping but is a slow death for sure.
9. The celebratory/just one cave. I've made it this far I deserve one and one won't hurt me.
10. I drank to much. We all know when we are going to be around both booze and nic. If we dont plan ahead, We know we want the nic bitch after a few drinks.
Very good list......I am pretty good on all of them - but *was* worried about the Spite Cave....never thought about it that way or gave it a name.....but now it has a name.....its totally the enemy and I will not Spite Cave. Quit for today. Fuck the Bitch
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6 weeks! Had a dream about my father last night. He'd died when I was 19. Smoked like a chimney. Of course in my dream he had a cigarette hanging from his lips. I will do everything in my power and know my ktc brothers will do the same to make sure none of my three children will ever have a dream of me with a fatty in.