KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: cycleman on March 27, 2017, 11:05:00 PM
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I figured it was about fricken time i came in here and wrote an intro. Maybe part of me was procrastinating....thinking this would just be another one of my failed attempts at quitting, only to be re-shackled to the nic bitch, stronger than the last time. Well, i have made it 86 days and this times for real....thanks to the great support of my fellow quitters her at KTC
It all started for me back when i was 15, playing soccer and wrestling in middle school in Eastern PA. I knew that smoking was not cool for a jock but a few of my fellow soccer buddies were dipping skoal. I was offered Skoal and so i decided to give it a go......it turned into a train wreck, within 5 minutes i was puking.
Why in Gods name i did not stop there and never touch the crap again, is beyond me. Fast forward 6 months later, and i was living in Houston Texas (my dad got transferred with his job) . Now that i was in Texas, it seemed like everyone dipped. My uncle, who lived in Texas thought it would be a good idea to give the 16 year old some Redman leaf....and that is where the addiction started. Switched to Cope shortly after and used that for about 8 years, until i transitioned to Kodiak. Finally at age 50, new years eve 2016, after 34 years of this damn addiction, i stumbled across the KTC site while planning ANOTHER new years resolution of quit.
Thanks to all you supporters, brother and sisters of quit, friends, accountability partners etc.....you are the ones that have helped me through the darkness and into the light. I can honestly say that this time is for good, however, i am still taking it just one day at a time.
Thanks KTC
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Glad to quit with you Cycleman. We have similar stories. This is it, we are quit!!!
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I've been tested this week for sure. I'm nearing the end of the 80's and for some reason i have had some fairly intense craves this week. The strange thing is that during the first couple of weeks when the craves hit, it was clear that i was craving a big fat dip. I could almost visualize and taste it....squeezing out 1/4 of a can and shoving it in my pie hole.
The difference this week is that the craves are random and a bit intense, but i'm not wanting to shove a dip in my mouth. in fact the thought of a dip actually sounds terrible, almost nauseating....however the crave/buzzing feeling is still there. It's almost like an itch that you can't scratch. Very strange.
I envision the nic bitch, laying on the ground...half beaten and scarred...making a last ditch swipe at me but just does not have the same strength that she used too. Still able to inflict some pain...just not as much as she used too.
I love it...i feel like i am winning the battle!
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I remember going through some very similar feelings around that time. Keep it up Cycleman! The nic bitch might never totally leave you alone, but I can guarantee she gets much quieter and easier to beat every time.
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I remember going through some very similar feelings around that time. Keep it up Cycleman! The nic bitch might never totally leave you alone, but I can guarantee she gets much quieter and easier to beat every time.
pky thanks for the encouraging words my friend. Without all the encouragement and support from everyone, this would be a very lonely and dark battle. Grateful for you all
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Had the pleasure of getting together with FishFlorida today for a great cuban lunch with an Italian, thief, waitress....only in S. Florida. Fish and i have businesses that are within 5 miles of each other, so we were long overdue.
Enjoyed getting to know you better Fish and learning that we have a lot in common. Thanks again for taking an active role in my quit.....your a scholar and a gentleman. Enjoyed the tour of your facility too...very fascinating.
Looking forward to our next get together....hopefully it will be on the water, wetting some lines.
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Had the pleasure of getting together with FishFlorida today for a great cuban lunch with an Italian, thief, waitress....only in S. Florida. Fish and i have businesses that are within 5 miles of each other, so we were long overdue.
Enjoyed getting to know you better Fish and learning that we have a lot in common. Thanks again for taking an active role in my quit.....your a scholar and a gentleman. Enjoyed the tour of your facility too...very fascinating.
Looking forward to our next get together....hopefully it will be on the water, wetting some lines.
Meeting others here really solidifies our quits. No one wants to meet cavers. You're doing great. Keep posting here and keep inspiring others. :)
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You are killing the quit!
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You are killing the quit!
Thumblewort and Stanger, your support and comments mean a lot....muchas gracias
like many things in my life, when i want something I'm going to give 150% ...dipping was in that category unfortunately ..I guess you could say i have that addictive personality. Thank God i am through the worst of it. Now i can harness that same effort and put the "pedal to the medal" on my quit....fortify my position.....build my barriers....by using ALL the tools here at KTC, building my support network, so that Nic bitch never even makes it onto my lawn.
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I have come to understand that the nic bitch is a lot like Satan. Satan like's to attack those that are strong (BAQ's) and have a firm belief in God (THE QUIT), as Satan know's that if he can knock you down, he will keep you from making more disciples (QUITTERS).
one day before my HOF, my 16 year old decides to exercise that teenage attitude that everything revolves around me...i am my own universe. As any good parent would do, we step in swiftly with consequence as well as try to use this as a teachable moment Not so easy this time, what ensues is an irrational child going way to far to push mom and dads buttons, and not take ownership for their behavior. To the point where Dad has to remove himself from the situation or he may blow a gasket. Prior to my quit i would retreat into my man cave, and stuff my face with my cancer causing pacifier.....thinking that the nic bitch will make it all better.
It has been before my quit that i have had to endure a situation like this with one of my kids. Today I retreated to my man cave...and had to calm myself another way.....by going to my intro page and writing this out.
I'm all good now, but man was i tested today....the day before my HOF....NOT TODAY YOU BITCH!
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I have come to understand that the nic bitch is a lot like Satan. Satan like's to attack those that are strong (BAQ's) and have a firm belief in God (THE QUIT), as Satan know's that if he can knock you down, he will keep you from making more disciples (QUITTERS).
one day before my HOF, my 16 year old decides to exercise that teenage attitude that everything revolves around me...i am my own universe. As any good parent would do, we step in swiftly with consequence as well as try to use this as a teachable moment Not so easy this time, what ensues is an irrational child going way to far to push mom and dads buttons, and not take ownership for their behavior. To the point where Dad has to remove himself from the situation or he may blow a gasket. Prior to my quit i would retreat into my man cave, and stuff my face with my cancer causing pacifier.....thinking that the nic bitch will make it all better.
It has been before my quit that i have had to endure a situation like this with one of my kids. Today I retreated to my man cave...and had to calm myself another way.....by going to my intro page and writing this out.
I'm all good now, but man was i tested today....the day before my HOF....NOT TODAY YOU BITCH!
Cycle....I just read your entire welcome thread. I am quit with you. Tomorrow is your day brother. Remember it forever, cuz you are never, ever going to be a slave again. Friend me on Facebook (I am Steve Moroski)
FUCK....I. LOVE.THIS.
quit with you today and tomorrow on our big day!!
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Congrats on 100 Days!! Nice job, the quit continues...
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100 days in the light...
Looks good on you Cycleman.
Congrats!
Rawls 865
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100 days in the light...
Looks good on you Cycleman.
Congrats!
Rawls 865
Just read this intro for the first time - great journey Cycleman; a century ride you've been waiting way too long for. Congratulations! Hang on tight because the ride gets better and more exciting from here.
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You guys rock..BrianG, Rawls, Steakbomb, Cleanfuel. Thanks for stopping in to read my banter and for supporting me. I appreciate you guys and so does my family.
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100 days in the light...
Looks good on you Cycleman.
Congrats!
Rawls 865
Amen Rawls
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100 days in the light...
Looks good on you Cycleman.
Congrats!
Rawls 865
Amen Rawls
Just have to come on here and document the last 1-2 weeks after HOF. It's not been a cake walk. Headache today in fact, and just feeling out of sorts this past week. No real strong cravings that are causing me to jeopardize my quit, but just feeling kinda of in the fog again. Hopefully will climb out of this soon. It sure helps to get on KTC, and talk it out with the other BAQ's. Could imagine being at day 125 alone.
PS. still need to post my HOF speech. I know i have been busy with work/life, but need to take the time to put some words down.
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Just have to come on here and document the last 1-2 weeks after HOF. It's not been a cake walk. Headache today in fact, and just feeling out of sorts this past week. No real strong cravings that are causing me to jeopardize my quit, but just feeling kinda of in the fog again. Hopefully will climb out of this soon. It sure helps to get on KTC, and talk it out with the other BAQ's. Could imagine being at day 125 alone.
PS. still need to post my HOF speech. I know i have been busy with work/life, but need to take the time to put some words down.