KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: pitcher on September 18, 2015, 02:37:00 PM
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Hi Everyone,
Quick intro, I chose pitcher as my username because of a book of all things that helped me "quit" 5 years back. To give credit…”The easy way to stop smoking” (throughout the book whenever I read cigarette or smoke I mentally replaced it with Kodiak and spit). Probably not for everyone, but it left a positive impact on me and I must give it credit. This is also how I quit drinking, incidentally. Oh how easy that is compared to not dipping, at least for me.
I was clean for over 2 years, then I quit quitting dip. Given I slipped and fell back into this nonsense, I chose "pitcher" as my username as a reminder that there is no such thing as just once. What is a pitcher plant? These smart but devious plants coax or bribe an insect onto their ornamental outer leaf, leaving the insect to think all is better. But, slightly down the leaf it becomes slippery, and the insect who thought it was just stopping by for a treat is slowly and gradually eaten.
I like the sites focus on cold turkey and quitting every day. Like most if not all of you here, I also neglected to quit for 1 day in the past. That is not an option. And tomorrow is not a better day to quit. Today is the best day. Then repeat.
What drove me back to dipping was my inability to cope. That is something I will need to work on every day. Whenever I have an issue with my wife (happily married), a default of mine is to say “fuck it”. One time that “fuck it” sent me to the gas station to pick up a tin. As everyone here knows, those days will continue, on and off, and it’s up to me to cope better. Shit, as I’m writing this my wife called to complain about flies (dozens) in our garage and how she told me “I told you so…you should have cleaned the garage with a pressure washer”. My first thought in my mind was to say fuck it and fall back on dip.
I have two amazing kids. Somewhere on the site I read a letter written to the president of American snuff. It reminded me, not that I needed reminding, that this crap takes away from time with family, self worth, health, etc. Not to mention the terrible example if my children ever found out. Yes, I am a closet user; bathroom, while they are out, etc. Too embarrassed and scared of what my family would think if they knew I quit quitting.
After reading some posts IÂ’m excited to get to know some of you, lean on you and with time maybe even help some of you.
Day 1 quit.
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Great intro there Pitch. Welcome. As you said, we quit one day at a time here. No need to look forward to tomorrow or forever, because you can't do a damn thing about it until it gets here.
One other quick thing about using dip to "cope." How did it help you cope? Did it ever fix a single problem better? I'm not dogging you here because 99% of us said the exact same thing before we got here. However, you will soon come to read "1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems" about a thousand times in the next few days.
The truth is, it never helped you with ANYTHING except one: relieve the nicotine withdrawals. As soon as you popped the dip out of your lip, your body immediately went into withdrawal mode until you popped the next one. Sad existence, right?
I read on here that nicotine is at best useless. That's true. If you aren't using and therefore don't need to dip to relieve the withdrawals, then at BEST it's useless. At worst, it's lethal.
This isn't all rainbows and unicorns around here. This will be tough sometimes. It will never be more than you can handle, and it will never be as bad as the good feels knowing that you control your addiction and not vice versa.
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All that's left to do now is to post roll and start the journey of taking your life back!
topic/11293904/121/#new (http://forum.killthecan.org/topic/11293904/121/#new)
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Hey!
Welcome to the site, and let me be the second (damnit, KingNothing!) to throw a reoccurring quote you'll see plastered all over this site at you:
"Nicotine + A problem = 2 problems". Cope comes in a can. Coping does not.
I repeated this like a mantra early on in my quit to myself, and now repeat it to anyone I see who once viewed, or continues to view nicotine as therapeutic. Remember, the only stress nicotine temporarily alleviates is the stress of having low nicotine. It is the cause of and solution to its own problem. It also exacerbates REAL causes of stress in your life because on top of the bad day at work, or argument with the wife, or whatever else is stressing you out, you now have to worry about sucking on a poison pacifier.
Except you. You don't have to worry about that anymore. Feeding nicotine addiction is not part of your routine anymore. You're quit today, and I'm quit right along side you.
Better days ARE coming.
- Invader
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Hi Pitcher. Great intro.
Like you I was clean for some time then just stopped quitting. It was the worst decision of my life. Now I am on day 2 and fighting the good fight and living nic free today.
I quit with you today brother!!
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Thanks everyone. So true. "1 problem + nicotine = 2 problems".
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My story is damn near just like yours. Got pissed at the Mrs and bought a tin. Did that many times. Closet dipper as well. Stopped for over 3 years once only to pick it up for just one with the buddies. I'm quit now. 548 days worth but the only day that counts is today.
You can do this.
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Great intro and reminder to stay sharp and stay quit.
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Welcome Pitcher
Post roll EDD, Sleep, Repeat
There are thousands on here who know what you are fighting. We were there to. Reach out to any of us when you need help.
I quit with you today.