KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Seminole on July 23, 2014, 12:03:00 AM
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UPDATE: I caved. See post at bottom.
My Father told me about a year ago that all addicts are liars. It was in reference to a close family member who was wrestling with a drug addiction. He didn't know then, and he doesn't know now that I'm addicted to cope, but I was struck hard that night with the realization that I lie and scheme 24/7 in order to get my fix. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my teeth hurting when I drink hot or cold fluids because my gum lines have receded so much. I'm sick of looking at my mouth in the rear view mirror and wondering if I'd be able to tell if I had cancer. I'm sick of wasting evening after evening waiting for my beautiful, loving, wife to go to bed so I can sneak out and by dip.
I'm worried because I feel like my story is a little atypical. I don't do a can every two days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole three or four days, sometimes even a week without a lip in. But I binge. I'll go through a whole can of cope in two hours, six pouches at a time, and then I'll drive right back to the gas station and buy another can. If I'm super busy or traveling and I can't dip, sometimes I don't even miss it. But the minute I try to relax or unwind, I get antsy. I've convinced myself many times that I'm not addicted after I've gone a week with no dip. Then I'll allow myself one last dip. And you all know how that ends.
A small part of me deep down inside doesn't even want to quit. I want to be free for a hundred days so that I can claim the chains of bondage can be broken, and then I'll have an occasional dip once a month or so. You know, in a controlled manner. I'm fighting to kill that desire even now, on day one. I think I'll start strong. My issues are going to come one week in when I start to tell myself, "see? You were never really that addicted. Just go ahead and have one can a month. You've got it all under control now." This is going to be rough.
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My Father told me about a year ago that all addicts are liars. It was in reference to a close family member who was wrestling with a drug addiction. He didn't know then, and he doesn't know now that I'm addicted to cope, but I was struck hard that night with the realization that I lie and scheme 24/7 in order to get my fix. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my teeth hurting when I drink hot or cold fluids because my gum lines have receded so much. I'm sick of looking at my mouth in the rear view mirror and wondering if I'd be able to tell if I had cancer. I'm sick of wasting evening after evening waiting for my beautiful, loving, wife to go to bed so I can sneak out and by dip.
I'm worried because I feel like my story is a little atypical. I don't do a can every two days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole three or four days, sometimes even a week without a lip in. But I binge. I'll go through a whole can of cope in two hours, six pouches at a time, and then I'll drive right back to the gas station and buy another can. If I'm super busy or traveling and I can't dip, sometimes I don't even miss it. But the minute I try to relax or unwind, I get antsy. I've convinced myself many times that I'm not addicted after I've gone a week with no dip. Then I'll allow myself one last dip. And you all know how that ends.
A small part of me deep down inside doesn't even want to quit. I want to be free for a hundred days so that I can claim the chains of bondage can be broken, and then I'll have an occasional dip once a month or so. You know, in a controlled manner. I'm fighting to kill that desire even now, on day one. I think I'll start strong. My issues are going to come one week in when I start to tell myself, "see? You were never really that addicted. Just go ahead and have one can a month. You've got it all under control now." This is going to be rough.
Today.
Today.
We quit for today.
Doesn't matter how awesome you are...you can't quit 100 days in just 1. Quit for today.
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My Father told me about a year ago that all addicts are liars. It was in reference to a close family member who was wrestling with a drug addiction. He didn't know then, and he doesn't know now that I'm addicted to cope, but I was struck hard that night with the realization that I lie and scheme 24/7 in order to get my fix. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my teeth hurting when I drink hot or cold fluids because my gum lines have receded so much. I'm sick of looking at my mouth in the rear view mirror and wondering if I'd be able to tell if I had cancer. I'm sick of wasting evening after evening waiting for my beautiful, loving, wife to go to bed so I can sneak out and by dip.
I'm worried because I feel like my story is a little atypical. I don't do a can every two days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole three or four days, sometimes even a week without a lip in. But I binge. I'll go through a whole can of cope in two hours, six pouches at a time, and then I'll drive right back to the gas station and buy another can. If I'm super busy or traveling and I can't dip, sometimes I don't even miss it. But the minute I try to relax or unwind, I get antsy. I've convinced myself many times that I'm not addicted after I've gone a week with no dip. Then I'll allow myself one last dip. And you all know how that ends.
A small part of me deep down inside doesn't even want to quit. I want to be free for a hundred days so that I can claim the chains of bondage can be broken, and then I'll have an occasional dip once a month or so. You know, in a controlled manner. I'm fighting to kill that desire even now, on day one. I think I'll start strong. My issues are going to come one week in when I start to tell myself, "see? You were never really that addicted. Just go ahead and have one can a month. You've got it all under control now." This is going to be rough.
I read your first 2 paragraphs and I was feeling it. Then paragraph 3.... You better figure out if you want to quit bud. If deep down you don't want to quit then You WILL fail. Period. You are an addict. Your story is not atypical. You sound a lot like me in some ways. I dipped 25 years and would have bouts of time where I didn't dip. I'd go a week here or week there. Then would plow thru 15 cans of Copenhagen on a 3 day business trip. That is a lot of cope and I was a disaster back then.
Big difference between me and you though... I came here to quit. I have not used nicotine in 396 days. I can't have just 1 dip on occasion. As an addict we can't do that.
Figure out if you want this. Otherwise you are wasting your time and our time.
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Yeah... I coulda wrote that too.
The longer you're here you'll realize you story is not atypical though. We've all been that guy to varying degrees.
Like Waste said above... Today. That's all you have to worry about. Not a week... Not a month... Not 100 days. Just today bro. Trust me... It works. I've done it for 463 days. It's a drop in the bucket after using for 25 years but that's ok. I win... Every day.
You can too. Own it...
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Nicotine is a drug, it is scientifically proven to be addictive.
Either your QUIT or you're not. It's a matter of making a choice every day and only you can make that choice.
If you STOP for a 100 days it only proves you can stop, it doesn't mean you can QUIT. Being a former 'stopper' myself what I found out was when you go back you will dip more than you did before the stop- maybe not right away but it'll happen. It's called the Law of addiction. Read this: http://www.killthecan.org//?s=law+of+addiction (http://www.killthecan.org//?s=law+of+addiction)
There are a lot of great people on here willing to help, provide support, but YOU are the only person that can make your QUIT happen.
Admit to the addiction. It's difficult to do, understanding that reality will strengthen a QUIT.
I'm in your October group, if you are serious about QUITTING PM me and I'd be happy to provide you with my number.
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Welcome Semi! You're Dad was right. This is a battle we win daily.
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Hey now fellas, he's right. I stopped once for 8 months, then bought a can for my bachelor party, and it only took me 11 years to put it down. That counts right?
Do you see how stupid that sentence reads? I am a nicotine addict, if I use just ONCE I may never stop. Are you a nicotine addict?
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My Father told me about a year ago that all addicts are liars. It was in reference to a close family member who was wrestling with a drug addiction. He didn't know then, and he doesn't know now that I'm addicted to cope, but I was struck hard that night with the realization that I lie and scheme 24/7 in order to get my fix. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my teeth hurting when I drink hot or cold fluids because my gum lines have receded so much. I'm sick of looking at my mouth in the rear view mirror and wondering if I'd be able to tell if I had cancer. I'm sick of wasting evening after evening waiting for my beautiful, loving, wife to go to bed so I can sneak out and by dip.
I'm worried because I feel like my story is a little atypical. I don't do a can every two days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole three or four days, sometimes even a week without a lip in. But I binge. I'll go through a whole can of cope in two hours, six pouches at a time, and then I'll drive right back to the gas station and buy another can. If I'm super busy or traveling and I can't dip, sometimes I don't even miss it. But the minute I try to relax or unwind, I get antsy. I've convinced myself many times that I'm not addicted after I've gone a week with no dip. Then I'll allow myself one last dip. And you all know how that ends.
A small part of me deep down inside doesn't even want to quit. I want to be free for a hundred days so that I can claim the chains of bondage can be broken, and then I'll have an occasional dip once a month or so. You know, in a controlled manner. I'm fighting to kill that desire even now, on day one. I think I'll start strong. My issues are going to come one week in when I start to tell myself, "see? You were never really that addicted. Just go ahead and have one can a month. You've got it all under control now." This is going to be rough.
You are such a fucking liar read the third paragraph you wrote again it makes me want to choke a puppy. You are addicted there is no fucking chains that are magically broken after 100 or 1000 days. One is too many and two is never enough. There is no can a month you fucking addict. You better check your fucking gut before you post roll in these sacred halls.
Its simple here Post Roll Everyday honor your word and be a man of honesty and integrity
just what we needed another special butterfly
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I didn't see you in roll call. What's it going to be?
Own your addiction, then post roll and start to own your quit. I'll own it with you.
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Seminole, you gotta get your mind right. I implore you to read the Words of Wisdom Section and the Hall of Fame speeches, as well as the cancer stories. You need to get fully educated on tobacco/nicotine. Really dive in and do some research on the effects of nicotine addiction. Learn, learn, learn. Tobacco/nicotine is your enemy.
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Fair enough, gentlemen. There are no "stoppers", only users and quitters. I'll continue to educate myself and post.
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Seminole, Mogul here. and Im not here to beat you up or cheer you up but lay down some truth. Me, you and everybody else here is an addict. We are not above that definition but purely defined. We have to look at that in the mirror each and every day. That doesn't mean we are users or losers or inept to have a successful life. We, as individuals, decide our fate as addicts whether or not to feed our addictions, but; we who have decided to fight our addiction win daily as a group of quitters. We post roll. thats it, we post, promise and keep our word. If you care to join us you will be welcomed. Take what you need, give what you can, but stay quit by posting roll. I quit with you Seminole.
Mogul
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
Nothing gets in the way of my quit. You may want to adopt that way of thinking. When you are serious and get your head out of your ass and that shit out of your mouth for good, let me know. Until you have done some serious thinking, some deep down inner searching shit to cleanse your mind of bullshit excuses, you will always be a slave. I have not found a reason to put that poison in my body. I cannot believe that you think you have.
Wake up. Get serious. Get quit.
Sucks you caved, but thanks for making my quit stronger today because I will NOT BE YOU!
While you figure your shit out, I'll be here quitting like a girl.
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
Nothing gets in the way of my quit. You may want to adopt that way of thinking. When you are serious and get your head out of your ass and that shit out of your mouth for good, let me know. Until you have done some serious thinking, some deep down inner searching shit to cleanse your mind of bullshit excuses, you will always be a slave. I have not found a reason to put that poison in my body. I cannot believe that you think you have.
Wake up. Get serious. Get quit.
Sucks you caved, but thanks for making my quit stronger today because I will NOT BE YOU!
While you figure your shit out, I'll be here quitting like a girl.
Can't really put it any better than Ginet did. Own it and get serious. Otherwise move on. Don't waste your time. More importantly, don't waste OUR time. Plenty of people on here that are fighting this addiction head on, each day. I'm one of them. I'm disappointed, to the say least...
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
Nothing gets in the way of my quit. You may want to adopt that way of thinking. When you are serious and get your head out of your ass and that shit out of your mouth for good, let me know. Until you have done some serious thinking, some deep down inner searching shit to cleanse your mind of bullshit excuses, you will always be a slave. I have not found a reason to put that poison in my body. I cannot believe that you think you have.
Wake up. Get serious. Get quit.
Sucks you caved, but thanks for making my quit stronger today because I will NOT BE YOU!
While you figure your shit out, I'll be here quitting like a girl.
Can't really put it any better than Ginet did. Own it and get serious. Otherwise move on. Don't waste your time. More importantly, don't waste OUR time. Plenty of people on here that are fighting this addiction head on, each day. I'm one of them. I'm disappointed, to the say least...
The three questions are:
What happened?
Why did it happen?
What are you going to do differently?
You mostly answered them already, but rethinking it and answering formally will be a good start...
If you plan on caving again don't bother answering or further wasting our time. You want to quit or what?
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
Nothing gets in the way of my quit. You may want to adopt that way of thinking. When you are serious and get your head out of your ass and that shit out of your mouth for good, let me know. Until you have done some serious thinking, some deep down inner searching shit to cleanse your mind of bullshit excuses, you will always be a slave. I have not found a reason to put that poison in my body. I cannot believe that you think you have.
Wake up. Get serious. Get quit.
Sucks you caved, but thanks for making my quit stronger today because I will NOT BE YOU!
While you figure your shit out, I'll be here quitting like a girl.
Can't really put it any better than Ginet did. Own it and get serious. Otherwise move on. Don't waste your time. More importantly, don't waste OUR time. Plenty of people on here that are fighting this addiction head on, each day. I'm one of them. I'm disappointed, to the say least...
The three questions are:
What happened?
Why did it happen?
What are you going to do differently?
You mostly answered them already, but rethinking it and answering formally will be a good start...
If you plan on caving again don't bother answering or further wasting our time. You want to quit or what?
Hey, maybe you're that guy. The guy who can have just a few dips once in a while and then flip the switch off.
The guy who just has one to have a little extra fun, or to help unwind after a rough day.
Maybe you're the guy who just needs one during a drive, while your fishing, out with the fellas, while having a drink, or while watching the game. Maybe once in awhile you need one to kick start your day, or to pass some idle time while out of town, or to calm down after having an argument with the wife
Maybe you're that special guy.
I haven't seen that guy come through here in my 781 days, but maybe you're the one.
Maybe you're the Bruce Leroy of ktc.
Maybe...
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I caved last night. I had a gin and tonic at an event and needed to stop for on my way home for gas. I took the opportunity to buy and use a can. I had a number I could text, but I chose not to. I also had the contract in my wallet, and I avoided reading it.
I immediately regretted it. Afterwards, I couldn't shake the feeling that not only had I stepped back into bondage, but that I had been on a streak, had been feeling good, and then jeopardized what was probably my best chance at being a lifetime quitter (I'm assuming caving gets even easier after you have already caved once) for a quick hit that I knew I wouldn't enjoy.
Now I really want to quit. More than I did before. The past five days had been great. I felt free. I didn't miss dip the way that I thought I would. I felt like a different person. Obviously, I'm not a different person yet, but I'd like to pay the piper and get back in the saddle with the rest of you. Here are a couple of things I have been holding back:
1) I have a reunion with my former college roommates from August 6th - 11th. I haven't seen these guys for a two years, and I was relishing the idea of a week with the boys away from the wives. I've been looking forward to dipping over this trip. I've been afraid to tell them I quit because I know they will hold me to it. In all honesty, I've essentially been planning on caving during that trip. So I guess the last five days were a lie anyways. I will email all of them today and inform them I won't be dipping over the trip.
2) I need to take an extended break from alcohol. Over the last five days my cravings were actually fairly minimal. I probably wrestled with it three times (including last night), and each of the cravings was preceded by a drink of some sort. Going forward, I am also going to promise not to drink for the first fifty days of my quit with the exception of the week of my reunion in August. Over the week, I will have five guys with me at all times ensuring I don't dip.
Finally, I'm not sure where to go from here. Do I need to rejoin a new quit group? My 100 day mark will no longer be in October. I heard I need to answer three questions, but I'm not even sure what they are.
Are you a man of your word? Because you promised you would not use that day, and then you lied. We're not playing Pony Princess Playset here, this is now or never life and death.
Quit has to be a priority. You don't put quit on the backburner and expect to succeed here. All these "fears" and bullshit about how you were going to cave regardless represent one thing - addiction. Regarding your cave, it's preached all over the site that alcohol kills early quits. I'd bet my left nut you've seen it on here even in your short time on KTC. Wake the fuck up.
You don't have a "decreased" chance of succeeding because you caved, that's an excuse. We have a number of folks here that have been in your shoes, but they understood that they needed to reevaluate their mindset and grab the bull by the balls if they were going to succeed.
Scared about your upcoming trip? Don't go. Out of the question? Then tell every person there that if they offer you dip or give you one upon request, that you will kick them so hard in the balls they won't walk straight for a week.
Your 100 day mark would now be in November. Answers to the three questions need to be posted in both October explaining to them what happened, and your new November group.
And take that stupid "first attempt" out of your signature. That failure should piss you off more than anything, letting the puppeteer get back in your good graces. Delete that shit and focus on your final quit, this one.
Nothing gets in the way of my quit. You may want to adopt that way of thinking. When you are serious and get your head out of your ass and that shit out of your mouth for good, let me know. Until you have done some serious thinking, some deep down inner searching shit to cleanse your mind of bullshit excuses, you will always be a slave. I have not found a reason to put that poison in my body. I cannot believe that you think you have.
Wake up. Get serious. Get quit.
Sucks you caved, but thanks for making my quit stronger today because I will NOT BE YOU!
While you figure your shit out, I'll be here quitting like a girl.
Can't really put it any better than Ginet did. Own it and get serious. Otherwise move on. Don't waste your time. More importantly, don't waste OUR time. Plenty of people on here that are fighting this addiction head on, each day. I'm one of them. I'm disappointed, to the say least...
The three questions are:
What happened?
Why did it happen?
What are you going to do differently?
You mostly answered them already, but rethinking it and answering formally will be a good start...
If you plan on caving again don't bother answering or further wasting our time. You want to quit or what?
Hey, maybe you're that guy. The guy who can have just a few dips once in a while and then flip the switch off.
The guy who just has one to have a little extra fun, or to help unwind after a rough day.
Maybe you're the guy who just needs one during a drive, while your fishing, out with the fellas, while having a drink, or while watching the game. Maybe once in awhile you need one to kick start your day, or to pass some idle time while out of town, or to calm down after having an argument with the wife
Maybe you're that special guy.
I haven't seen that guy come through here in my 781 days, but maybe you're the one.
Maybe you're the Bruce Leroy of ktc.
Maybe...
You know, I said this to you a few days ago and you still aren't listening:
THE FUTURE DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH THE NOW!
When you first got here, you talked about how quitting for 100 days would just be awesome. You've known about this upcoming reunion since that day and were planning on caving then. You claim you want to be a "lifetime quitter".
On June 28, 2011...I quit. I've been quitting every minute since. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's the most difficult thing in the world. I use my tools when I need them, and I clean and sharpen them when I don't. It's not rocket science. It's just what we need to do in this battle.
Do not worry about the future.
What are you doing now? Are you in danger of failing?
If yes...use your tools. (Call someone. Sack up.)
If no...sharpen. (What is my immediate schedule? When will I be possible tempted? What will I do if I'm presented with a crave? Is there anybody I can text to just say hi?)
Sack up man. Addicts here aren't liars. We're men and women of our words. Users...they are the dooshes. Users are liars.
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You missed roll yesterday. Why? Did you cave? you posted day 11 today, should be 12? or 1?
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Judging by his post last week, today is Day 2 of his college buddy reunion week.
Seminole - Did you already tell your buddies you quit? You seemed pretty intent on romanticizing dip and creating a little 5 day cave fantasy world for yourself. Did you nut up and call BS on that line of thinking yet? There are no "days off" on your quit.
If you are still quit, do your November quit brothers a favor and start posting roll FIRST thing in the morning, and not LAST thing of the day. Pretty please with a cherry on top.
-
I'm a Florida State fan and former student. Our motto is UNCONQUERED because the Seminoles were the only tribe that wasn't conquered as they fought and refused to surrender. If you're going to come in here and use Seminole as your name you better fight like hell and not let dip conquer you out of respect for the name you are using and for yourself and your life and your health
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I know you mentioned you were in the Keys or somewhere like that with limited service. You've been posting roll a little later in the evenings. So far, haven't seen you on roll today. What's up with that? If you're having trouble, don't be afraid to reach out for help!
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I believe it may be time to read the writing on the wall with this one. :scowick: