KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: El Capitan on July 02, 2014, 01:37:00 PM
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Hey fellas, joined the site this past Friday and had my first full day nicotine free on Saturday. I packed my first dip when I was 16 or 17, enjoyed it at the time and bought my first tin probably a week later (Skoal Vanilla). Even as the trips to the convenience store became more frequent, I always told myself that it wouldn't become a habit I couldn't break and that I certainly wouldn't become an addict. Well long story short I'm now 24 and well past the point of even calling it a habit. At college I made the switch from long cut to mint pouches so that I could pack in class with anonymity (complete with the tinted Arizona iced tea bottle as a spitter). I've figured out the optimal dip locations that allow me to pack in front of my coworkers, family, friends, and girlfriend with minimum need to spit.
After multiple failed quit "attempts" (if you can even call them that) in the past, I heard an ad on the radio the other day for Jake's Mint Chew. I must have heard this ad 100 times before, but for some reason or another it really stood out to me this time. I did a Google search and it brought me to this site, where I read some of the reviews for the fake stuff, stumbled onto the forums, and read the story of Tom and Jenny Kern. After reading that, I walked directly into the bathroom and emptied my tin of pouches into the toilet. Of course, one pouch was stuck to the edge of the can, as if it was asking me if I was sure I didn't want just one more dip before I called it quits. I got a sense of pride from flushing that straggler with the rest of them, followed by a feeling of resentment that I let my addiction get to the point where I could feel pride over such an action. If that makes sense.
Anyways, today will mark full day number 5 and it's been a rough go of it, but the physical cravings are gone and now it's purely mental. It's almost as if every action I took pre-quit had a dip that went along with it. I've had the impulse to reach to my back pocket at least once an hour. Getting into the car to drive to the train station. Sitting down on the train. Firing up the computer at work. Pre-lunch. Post-lunch. Waiting for the train home. After dinner. During the game. Post workout. Before bed. And all of this is just during the work week, nevermind the triggers on the weekend.
None of that is really bothering me too much, but what is getting to me is the irritability. The tiniest things will annoy the living shit out of me depending on the time of the day it seems. I think I've been handling it pretty well, as I've been able to not take it out on those around me for the most part. But internalizing things and biting my tongue only makes me more irritated and I don't want any anger to build up and boil over. Which really is the entire reason I'm writing this whole long diatribe in the first place.
So I figure I'll use this as a kind of quit accountability/blowing off steam journal for myself on this never ending journey, but if you took the time to read this whole thing then thank you. I think it'll definitely make it easier to be able to talk with people who can relate to what I'm ranting about.
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
it's great to see another slave taking his life back.
Welcome to KTC the place where the tools work and the brotherhood is strong.
Bring your rage here and in chat. We can take it.
You can really be quit...ODAAT = one day at a time.
post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
read everything on this site twice. It will save your life.
-
Welcome Cap- I wrote this to a fellow quitter that since dropped out of Titans and I've since re wrote and changed it up a bit, but the core is still the same I suppose and since I liked it, well you get it as well. Welcome to the group and feel free to reach out to me for anything.
So 9 days ago I came out of the closet to my family and on Thursday of last week, I actually swung by my Aunt and Uncles new home (he happens to be my dentist bytw) and came out to them as well. It's been 9 days now and to say that I am relieved to be free is an understatement to say the east. Just to be clear we are talking about chewing tobacco my good man, not anything else (admit it, you were saying what the fuck up until that point right?!) Seriously though, my wife and I have been married for 17 years and together for 20. For that ENTIRE TIME,... I have been lying to her and the rest of my family. LYING!!! Oh, she knew I did it occasionally, but thought I had quit LOOOOOONG ago. You are a younger guy and I was debating with myself the other day reading about all these younger bucks like yourself who have picked up the tin. Who has it harder when they quit? Some old fuck like myself who's been willingly putting poison in his lip for the better part of 27 years (avg. a tin of Grizzly or Kodiak a day..) or someone like yourself that's only been a slave to Madame nicotine for a few? Older right? Or is it younger? First I thought older, cause I dipped and by definition that means I am a selfish bastard who cares for no one other than himself. I've been chewing for 27 years so man it's got to be harder for me right?... No, it's the younger ones I then rationalized. They think they are bulletproof and immortal if you will. "Hell I have years before I need to quit and then it's no problem, I'll just quit then. Who has a lipper I can bum?" Sad truth is it's neither and it's both. Nicotine has no age tenure any more than cancer has a preference to those who stand and pee to those that sit and pee (side note: one time I was at a Judas Priest concert at. Pine Knob with a buddy and we had to hit the head at intermission. I get to the front of the line and dropped trow to my ankles and said "don't ya just hate this guy?" Whole line busted out laughing and my buddy was fucking in tears laughing so gosh damned hard.) anyways I digress. My point is this: the suck of the quit is equal. It's the same. Maybe for different reasons, but in the end it's the same shit and it's all equally as hard no matter what the age, gender or year stripes you have on your grizzly (Skoal) varsity jacket. I fucked up day 1 brother when I packed my first lipper,...day fucking 1 and so did you. You and I can only lie for so long, " I'm never going to get cancer, my teeth aren't turning yellow, my gums aren't receding..." It will eventually catch us. I quit with you brother. Stay strong and POST ROLL DAILY!!
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
it's great to see another slave taking his life back.
Welcome to KTC the place where the tools work and the brotherhood is strong.
Bring your rage here and in chat. We can take it.
You can really be quit...ODAAT = one day at a time.
post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
read everything on this site twice. It will save your life.
Cap,
Welcome....let me add to SkoalMonsters comments....According to the NIH (National Institute of Health), it can take up to twelve WEEKS for your brain to rewire itself as it methodically removes all those extra nicotine receptors it built while you were flooding yourself with that poison. So although physically you are rid of the toxin, mentally you have a LONG way to go before you've readjusted to the "new you" without nicotine. That is what causes not only the cravings, but the irritability.
You need to read as much as you can...there is a ton of good information in these pages about dealing with cravings....things to take care of the oral fixation problem.....and there are folks here who if they haven't already will reach out a hand to you. You're in the October quit group....you've got some leadership there in jeeptruck, Oxman, redhawk, and others. Pay attention to them...learn from them...
We're all in this boat together, just some been rowing a bit longer than others.
Quit on, brother....quit on. One day at a time.
-
Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
it's great to see another slave taking his life back.
Welcome to KTC the place where the tools work and the brotherhood is strong.
Bring your rage here and in chat. We can take it.
You can really be quit...ODAAT = one day at a time.
post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
read everything on this site twice. It will save your life.
Cap,
Welcome....let me add to SkoalMonsters comments....According to the NIH (National Institute of Health), it can take up to twelve WEEKS for your brain to rewire itself as it methodically removes all those extra nicotine receptors it built while you were flooding yourself with that poison. So although physically you are rid of the toxin, mentally you have a LONG way to go before you've readjusted to the "new you" without nicotine. That is what causes not only the cravings, but the irritability.
You need to read as much as you can...there is a ton of good information in these pages about dealing with cravings....things to take care of the oral fixation problem.....and there are folks here who if they haven't already will reach out a hand to you. You're in the October quit group....you've got some leadership there in jeeptruck, Oxman, redhawk, and others. Pay attention to them...learn from them...
We're all in this boat together, just some been rowing a bit longer than others.
Quit on, brother....quit on. One day at a time.
Awesome! Glad you found us. Shout if you need help.
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
Thanks SM,
Thankfully I've never been a huge coffee or caffeine guy, so at least I don't have that other little devil on my shoulder.
Considering it's 90+ in NYC today and I'll get my sweat on in the underground sauna that is the subway station, I'm gonna pass on the walk around the building today lol. But in all seriousness I think this is a good time for me to start up a good workout program. I had a daily routine that I followed religiously based upon putting poison in my body. If i put that type of dedication into making myself healthier who knows, maybe I'll be able to drop a few pounds and actually keep it off.
Thanks again for the tips sM.
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Welcome Cap- I wrote this to a fellow quitter that since dropped out of Titans and I've since re wrote and changed it up a bit, but the core is still the same I suppose and since I liked it, well you get it as well. Welcome to the group and feel free to reach out to me for anything.
So 9 days ago I came out of the closet to my family and on Thursday of last week, I actually swung by my Aunt and Uncles new home (he happens to be my dentist bytw) and came out to them as well. It's been 9 days now and to say that I am relieved to be free is an understatement to say the east. Just to be clear we are talking about chewing tobacco my good man, not anything else (admit it, you were saying what the fuck up until that point right?!) Seriously though, my wife and I have been married for 17 years and together for 20. For that ENTIRE TIME,... I have been lying to her and the rest of my family. LYING!!! Oh, she knew I did it occasionally, but thought I had quit LOOOOOONG ago. You are a younger guy and I was debating with myself the other day reading about all these younger bucks like yourself who have picked up the tin. Who has it harder when they quit? Some old fuck like myself who's been willingly putting poison in his lip for the better part of 27 years (avg. a tin of Grizzly or Kodiak a day..) or someone like yourself that's only been a slave to Madame nicotine for a few? Older right? Or is it younger? First I thought older, cause I dipped and by definition that means I am a selfish bastard who cares for no one other than himself. I've been chewing for 27 years so man it's got to be harder for me right?... No, it's the younger ones I then rationalized. They think they are bulletproof and immortal if you will. "Hell I have years before I need to quit and then it's no problem, I'll just quit then. Who has a lipper I can bum?" Sad truth is it's neither and it's both. Nicotine has no age tenure any more than cancer has a preference to those who stand and pee to those that sit and pee (side note: one time I was at a Judas Priest concert at. Pine Knob with a buddy and we had to hit the head at intermission. I get to the front of the line and dropped trow to my ankles and said "don't ya just hate this guy?" Whole line busted out laughing and my buddy was fucking in tears laughing so gosh damned hard.) anyways I digress. My point is this: the suck of the quit is equal. It's the same. Maybe for different reasons, but in the end it's the same shit and it's all equally as hard no matter what the age, gender or year stripes you have on your grizzly (Skoal) varsity jacket. I fucked up day 1 brother when I packed my first lipper,...day fucking 1 and so did you. You and I can only lie for so long, " I'm never going to get cancer, my teeth aren't turning yellow, my gums aren't receding..." It will eventually catch us. I quit with you brother. Stay strong and POST ROLL DAILY!!
Good stuff oxman, that was spot on. "I don't need to quit YET" has been my go-to excuse for years. Like there's some sort of rational, mathematical equation that cancer follows based on how long you've been packing (actually maybe there is and I should've paid more attention in math class). Just one of the many lies I've told myself and others in order to keep feeding the addiction and the cash register of the local 7/11. Screw that, I quit with you all.
*Disclaimer* I was definitely fearing which direction your post was heading in during the first couple of sentences.
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Welcome aboard. There's a lot of good help here, so take advantage of as much as you can.
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
Thanks SM,
Thankfully I've never been a huge coffee or caffeine guy, so at least I don't have that other little devil on my shoulder.
Considering it's 90+ in NYC today and I'll get my sweat on in the underground sauna that is the subway station, I'm gonna pass on the walk around the building today lol. But in all seriousness I think this is a good time for me to start up a good workout program. I had a daily routine that I followed religiously based upon putting poison in my body. If i put that type of dedication into making myself healthier who knows, maybe I'll be able to drop a few pounds and actually keep it off.
Thanks again for the tips sM.
Cap,
Nice work. SM has some valid points. The effects of nicotine withdrawal just plain suck. After posting roll each day, exercise has and continues to be a key component in strengthening my quit. It blows my mind to see what guys here can accomplish when nicotine is not a key component of the decision making process. Just another great day to be quit and proud to share it with another fresh quitter. Keep it up.
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Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
it's great to see another slave taking his life back.
Welcome to KTC the place where the tools work and the brotherhood is strong.
Bring your rage here and in chat. We can take it.
You can really be quit...ODAAT = one day at a time.
post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
read everything on this site twice. It will save your life.
Cap,
Welcome....let me add to SkoalMonsters comments....According to the NIH (National Institute of Health), it can take up to twelve WEEKS for your brain to rewire itself as it methodically removes all those extra nicotine receptors it built while you were flooding yourself with that poison. So although physically you are rid of the toxin, mentally you have a LONG way to go before you've readjusted to the "new you" without nicotine. That is what causes not only the cravings, but the irritability.
You need to read as much as you can...there is a ton of good information in these pages about dealing with cravings....things to take care of the oral fixation problem.....and there are folks here who if they haven't already will reach out a hand to you. You're in the October quit group....you've got some leadership there in jeeptruck, Oxman, redhawk, and others. Pay attention to them...learn from them...
We're all in this boat together, just some been rowing a bit longer than others.
Quit on, brother....quit on. One day at a time.
Thanks Cav. I will definitely be soaking up as much knowledge as I can and hopefully passing it on in the future as well.
What originally brought me to this site was the smokeless alternative reviews, and oddly enough when I decided to quit I didn't go out and buy a can of the fake stuff or order it online. I'm sure it'll help with the oral fixation, but I have some worries about going down that road.
-
Welcome Cap
Irritibility is normal. One thing that will help is cutting your caffeine back. Nicotine counteracts the effects of caffeine so you NEED to cut that back.
The second thing you can do is exercise- even a walk around the building will help. Exercise is proven to reduce frequency of craves as well as intensity.
The nic is out of your system but there are alot of chemicals in dip that take a few weeks for your body to purge. Hang tough, as long as you don't ingest nicotine in any form you don't have to go through this again.
You can do this
sM
it's great to see another slave taking his life back.
Welcome to KTC the place where the tools work and the brotherhood is strong.
Bring your rage here and in chat. We can take it.
You can really be quit...ODAAT = one day at a time.
post roll
keep your word
wake and repeat
read everything on this site twice. It will save your life.
Cap,
Welcome....let me add to SkoalMonsters comments....According to the NIH (National Institute of Health), it can take up to twelve WEEKS for your brain to rewire itself as it methodically removes all those extra nicotine receptors it built while you were flooding yourself with that poison. So although physically you are rid of the toxin, mentally you have a LONG way to go before you've readjusted to the "new you" without nicotine. That is what causes not only the cravings, but the irritability.
You need to read as much as you can...there is a ton of good information in these pages about dealing with cravings....things to take care of the oral fixation problem.....and there are folks here who if they haven't already will reach out a hand to you. You're in the October quit group....you've got some leadership there in jeeptruck, Oxman, redhawk, and others. Pay attention to them...learn from them...
We're all in this boat together, just some been rowing a bit longer than others.
Quit on, brother....quit on. One day at a time.
Thanks Cav. I will definitely be soaking up as much knowledge as I can and hopefully passing it on in the future as well.
What originally brought me to this site was the smokeless alternative reviews, and oddly enough when I decided to quit I didn't go out and buy a can of the fake stuff or order it online. I'm sure it'll help with the oral fixation, but I have some worries about going down that road.
El Capitan, Whatever it takes to "not" put the poison in your mouth Today...is okay. Be it catshit, bubblegum, sunflowerseeds, candy, whatever it takes. Loads of water, exercise, chatroom, reading this site, texting a brother in your group, no matter what...No Nic Today. ODAAT and NAFAR.
Money cannot buy what this site has to offer.
You can do this. It gets much better, I promise.
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Welcome Cap. You mentioned pride several times. Addiction robs us of our pride. Nicotine addiction is slavery and it rules over us. I had never been able to quit before either. My focus when I started was just to add to that number beside my name. Every new day my pride grew that my number had increased by one. I'd spend all day think that today was the biggest number of days quit that I had ever experienced. And tomorrow was going to be one day bigger. Let those thoughts fuel your day. Take pride in what you have already accomplished and the successes you have each day.
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Stopped by the walmart on the way home last night and picked up some Smokey Mountain wintergreen. Definitely helped with the oral fixation. I was worried it would be too close to the real thing but that hasn't been the case. I'd say it's actually helped with the cravings. During a normal work day the only time I wouldn't be packing was during lunch but I haven't felt the urge to even reach for the fake stuff once today. Day 6 and going strong!
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Stopped by the walmart on the way home last night and picked up some Smokey Mountain wintergreen. Definitely helped with the oral fixation. I was worried it would be too close to the real thing but that hasn't been the case. I'd say it's actually helped with the cravings. During a normal work day the only time I wouldn't be packing was during lunch but I haven't felt the urge to even reach for the fake stuff once today. Day 6 and going strong!
Nice. Good choice. I did the same. You will find that since it does not have nicotine you will bore with smokey mountain over time.
That is a simple sentence, but when you unpack it, it sums up addiction. We enjoy the processes that supply our drug of choice.
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Stopped by the walmart on the way home last night and picked up some Smokey Mountain wintergreen. Definitely helped with the oral fixation. I was worried it would be too close to the real thing but that hasn't been the case. I'd say it's actually helped with the cravings. During a normal work day the only time I wouldn't be packing was during lunch but I haven't felt the urge to even reach for the fake stuff once today. Day 6 and going strong!
Nice. Good choice. I did the same. You will find that since it does not have nicotine you will bore with smokey mountain over time.
That is a simple sentence, but when you unpack it, it sums up addiction. We enjoy the processes that supply our drug of choice.
Good call Cap, don't worry about the fake right now, as long as it has no nicotine in it your golden.
In my opinion the nicotine addiction and the oral fixation are two separate heads on the same Hydra. I used fake for close to a year before I gave it up. Some guys tackle one at a time, some do both, whatever you feel like is working do it.
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Stopped by the walmart on the way home last night and picked up some Smokey Mountain wintergreen. Definitely helped with the oral fixation. I was worried it would be too close to the real thing but that hasn't been the case. I'd say it's actually helped with the cravings. During a normal work day the only time I wouldn't be packing was during lunch but I haven't felt the urge to even reach for the fake stuff once today. Day 6 and going strong!
Nice. Good choice. I did the same. You will find that since it does not have nicotine you will bore with smokey mountain over time.
That is a simple sentence, but when you unpack it, it sums up addiction. We enjoy the processes that supply our drug of choice.
Good call Cap, don't worry about the fake right now, as long as it has no nicotine in it your golden.
In my opinion the nicotine addiction and the oral fixation are two separate heads on the same Hydra. I used fake for close to a year before I gave it up. Some guys tackle one at a time, some do both, whatever you feel like is working do it.
Don't fret the fake at all. I've never met anyone addicted to it. I've never been without it since my quit day. Now I hardly use it at all. But it's there if I want it. I dipped for over 35 years so I'll do anything to ensure my quit of nicotine.
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Stopped by the walmart on the way home last night and picked up some Smokey Mountain wintergreen. Definitely helped with the oral fixation. I was worried it would be too close to the real thing but that hasn't been the case. I'd say it's actually helped with the cravings. During a normal work day the only time I wouldn't be packing was during lunch but I haven't felt the urge to even reach for the fake stuff once today. Day 6 and going strong!
Nice. Good choice. I did the same. You will find that since it does not have nicotine you will bore with smokey mountain over time.
That is a simple sentence, but when you unpack it, it sums up addiction. We enjoy the processes that supply our drug of choice.
Good call Cap, don't worry about the fake right now, as long as it has no nicotine in it your golden.
In my opinion the nicotine addiction and the oral fixation are two separate heads on the same Hydra. I used fake for close to a year before I gave it up. Some guys tackle one at a time, some do both, whatever you feel like is working do it.
Don't fret the fake at all. I've never met anyone addicted to it. I've never been without it since my quit day. Now I hardly use it at all. But it's there if I want it. I dipped for over 35 years so I'll do anything to ensure my quit of nicotine.
Yeah, I'm glad I followed everyone's advice and picked up the fake. I haven't used it much, maybe once or twice a day, but it's been a big help mentally. Like you said Gdub, it's there if I want it.
Holiday weekend actually went great as far as the quit's concerned. Great times and great grub with the friends and family seemed to start lifting the fog a little bit. Those first couple of days were a blur but it's gotten a lot better since. Still don't feel completely like myself but I guess that's to be expected 10 days after giving up the daily poison I was using for the better part of 8 years.
It hasn't exactly been a walk in the park, but the nic bitch is gonna have to hit way harder than this if it plans on knocking me down 'finger point'