KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Boelker62 on August 27, 2012, 06:40:00 PM
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
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Glad to have you here Dave. You're certainly not the only one on here that's quit and relapsed before. Posting roll, as strange as it sounds, will force you to keep that shit out of your lip if you're really a man of your word. It's the daily promise to yourself and your fellow quitters that you'll stay clean just for that day. Don't even bother thinking about tomorrow. You'll want to post in the November 2012 group. Instructions are in each post I think, so just click the link. I'm on day 22, so hopefully a more veteran member can give you clearer advice. PM me if you need a number.
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I love your signature man. Such a funny movie part might just help me through this. Personifying your can. Thanks. I'm on an ipad now, so three different instructions/ways to post roll got the best of me before.
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I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me.
Is it that it is jibberish or is it just too simple a concept to believe in?
Here is the simplicity for me. I can promise myself not to dip but when I am all alone, I don't care too much and it doesn't bother me to disappoint myself.
If I promise someone else that I won't dip, I will bite, kick, cratch, scream and bleed to keep my word.
Posting roll is jiberish? Posting roll is the tool that kept me quit for 167 days. Maybe you don't have the attention span. Horse shit! How long does it take you to go buy a can of dip? You had a span of attention to buy your can. What is about 5 minutes max to post roll.
Welcome back and it is good for you to quit. I don't understand your angle though. Take posting roll more serious. Value the people you promise and expect those same people to keep their promise to you.
I challenge you to post roll for 30 days. Never miss a day and then revisit your post about roll call being jiberish.
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Welcome Boelker62!
You have made a great decision.
Before we jump on the roll call post as being jibberish or whatever he said, please reread it, he is posting from an IPAD, after 660+ days I still cannot post roll call from an ipad.
Like I said - Welcome 62! Come to live chat - up in the right hand corner, lots of quitters in there to help you.
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My apologies if I misled. I meant in no way that the concept of roll call is in any way not valuable. I should have explained myself. I really meant that yes, technically, not very accessible. Conceptually, it's the reason I came back. I'd failed on my own. I just didn't want to wait to check in until I was back at my desktop at 8AM, after I would have dipped at least 5 more times from 5PM to 8AM. Again, my apologies if I misled.
I'm on board, and will hit roll call in the AM.
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
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proud to be a member of The Wreckin Crew with you brother!
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
Nice work brother.
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
Nice work brother.
Solid support, brother. Excellent example of how to use the tools. Keep on kicking ass.
The dreams sucked for me, but they served a purpose. They give us a glimpse into what "FAIL" looks like. That strengthens our resolve. Like Clampy said, I'm not sure they ever go away. That is fine with me, because I need the reminder to keep focus. They do get farther and farther apart, though.
-
Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
Nice work brother.
Solid support, brother. Excellent example of how to use the tools. Keep on kicking ass.
The dreams sucked for me, but they served a purpose. They give us a glimpse into what "FAIL" looks like. That strengthens our resolve. Like Clampy said, I'm not sure they ever go away. That is fine with me, because I need the reminder to keep focus. They do get farther and farther apart, though.
You definitely get it and say it well to all of us. One day at a time, everyday is what you will get from us here. Proud of you and your quit.
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
Nice work brother.
Solid support, brother. Excellent example of how to use the tools. Keep on kicking ass.
The dreams sucked for me, but they served a purpose. They give us a glimpse into what "FAIL" looks like. That strengthens our resolve. Like Clampy said, I'm not sure they ever go away. That is fine with me, because I need the reminder to keep focus. They do get farther and farther apart, though.
You definitely get it and say it well to all of us. One day at a time, everyday is what you will get from us here. Proud of you and your quit.
'worship'
Posting roll is an honor and a responsibility, but it is also a cry for help.
I am honored to post my goals and achievements. I want to quit today. I am proud of how high I've climbed. But I know that it is my responsibility to do so if I want to utilize the tools on this site. I want to do everything in my power to stay quit today. I will carry the biggest, baddest fucking weapon into this battle. It is up to me to pull the trigger. I know that I cannot do this alone. When left to my own devices, I fail.
I fucking love this post.
Thank you for writing it.
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Roll call is not a daily attendance sheet, it is a daily pledge.
We've all pledged to ourselves before that "this is the last one..." It means a lot more to me and thousands of others when that pledge is to you, not just my own conscience. My commitment to my conscience had been altered through 21 years of chemical imbalance. My commitment to you, when it's made every day, cannot be changed. It cannot be reasoned away. It cannot have its inhibitions lowered. It is done. And I must uphold my pledge.
I have done a million dumb, counterproductive, unhealthy and/or illegal things in my days when I really only have had to answer to myself. Still, very little of my life do I regret. I have had two severe cave dreams since this quit started 51 days ago. I woke up crying from the one last week. It is because of that external commitment that I feel such responsibility to uphold my word.
This is the program. This is how this works. Do it. Even if you, a good quitter really doesn't NEED to post roll for yourself everyday (which I doubt you don't), I am asking you post roll for me. Let me know you are there even if we don't talk. Let me know you are still pledging to quit for that day. Let me see that I have others I am responsible to answer to.
If this isn't you, and you don't need any of this. Please take your form of quit somewhere else. I wish you luck. I honestly do wish you success. But for this site, for these purposes, I want to go into my daily battle, and it is a fucking battle every fucking day for me, knowing, believing that everyone of us is here for the same cause, and have the same way to get there.
I can't fucking wait to hit Hall of Fame to write thanks to all of my quit brothers. But then again, yeah, that can wait, cause today is a mother fucking battle for me, and the remaining 49 are likely to be as well, so I'll have a bunch more names to add to that list by that point.
Peace, Love and Quit,
Boelker62
bring that all day long!
This guy gets it
read up Noobs - drink the cool-aide. Post Roll. Quit. Never look back.
-Clampy
P.S. I still have cave nightmares... 2.5 year later. Not sure they ever go away.
Proud of you and proud to be quit right next to you brother...
Nice work brother.
Solid support, brother. Excellent example of how to use the tools. Keep on kicking ass.
The dreams sucked for me, but they served a purpose. They give us a glimpse into what "FAIL" looks like. That strengthens our resolve. Like Clampy said, I'm not sure they ever go away. That is fine with me, because I need the reminder to keep focus. They do get farther and farther apart, though.
You definitely get it and say it well to all of us. One day at a time, everyday is what you will get from us here. Proud of you and your quit.
'worship'
Posting roll is an honor and a responsibility, but it is also a cry for help.
I am honored to post my goals and achievements. I want to quit today. I am proud of how high I've climbed. But I know that it is my responsibility to do so if I want to utilize the tools on this site. I want to do everything in my power to stay quit today. I will carry the biggest, baddest fucking weapon into this battle. It is up to me to pull the trigger. I know that I cannot do this alone. When left to my own devices, I fail.
I fucking love this post.
Thank you for writing it.
I needed a little inspiration today, and rereading this, and all your comments has certainly helped. Thank you.
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do. These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro. We gots your back.
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do. These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro. We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do. These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro. We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do. These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro. We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do.� These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro.� We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
Thanks guys. Day 130. Hobby? Trail running. Here's when I feel normal-good to great:
- In the middle of a trail run, usually the more silent, the better. Not the treadmill.
- When my 70lb. old man pit bull is snoring directly in my ear, it gets my breathing metered.
- The first 5 minutes when I wake up in the morning. Minute 6, that starts on a different story.
- Immediately after crying. That's been four times in 55 days. Maybe I should try that more. Something's eating at me.
There's a small part of me that says to step away from the site, but I've signed up to post to 200, and I am the January HoF train conductor with lcwb96. I take that very seriously. I have met and plan to stay in touch with a bunch of quitters in real life. Maybe my immersion that helped strengthen my quit, is working against me, but I'm flat out scared to step away from the site. I would be scared to even just post each day "Boelker62 - Day XXX" and leave. That just wouldn't be me.
When the first thing I think of each morning is my quit, and my inability to get a satisfying breath, it just gets worse. I feel stuck. I'm a fixer. I'm a problem solver, and it just kills me to not know what the fuck to do to fix me. Can you tell I'm impatient too? I tell my wife all the time to stop and smell the roses, but have a hard time doing so myself.
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do.� These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro.� We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
Thanks guys. Day 130. Hobby? Trail running. Here's when I feel normal-good to great:
- In the middle of a trail run, usually the more silent, the better. Not the treadmill.
- When my 70lb. old man pit bull is snoring directly in my ear, it gets my breathing metered.
- The first 5 minutes when I wake up in the morning. Minute 6, that starts on a different story.
- Immediately after crying. That's been four times in 55 days. Maybe I should try that more. Something's eating at me.
There's a small part of me that says to step away from the site, but I've signed up to post to 200, and I am the January HoF train conductor with lcwb96. I take that very seriously. I have met and plan to stay in touch with a bunch of quitters in real life. Maybe my immersion that helped strengthen my quit, is working against me, but I'm flat out scared to step away from the site. I would be scared to even just post each day "Boelker62 - Day XXX" and leave. That just wouldn't be me.
When the first thing I think of each morning is my quit, and my inability to get a satisfying breath, it just gets worse. I feel stuck. I'm a fixer. I'm a problem solver, and it just kills me to not know what the fuck to do to fix me. Can you tell I'm impatient too? I tell my wife all the time to stop and smell the roses, but have a hard time doing so myself.
152? 4 me - déjà -vu, I felt the same way. you're definitely in a funk, as I was at the same time. That one for me lasted almost 2 weeks. didn't feel better till the high 140's. I just felt like something wasn't right, we all no this feeling. anyway it did go away. during that time I posted and left. I now know to help my funks I need a little distance from the site to get through it. I still post, but that's it. After I start feeling better I get involved again. Main thing is to post.
I was thinking - when I brush my teeth I don't think about cavities. don't think about anything just brush. soon posting will be the same. sometimes I just post in a morning daze without even thinking, just post. I know that posting won't ruin my day, so why not.. you'll always look for an excuse when not feeling good. but it's simply a funk, and thank god they do go away... :)
-
Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do.� These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro.� We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
Thanks guys. Day 130. Hobby? Trail running. Here's when I feel normal-good to great:
- In the middle of a trail run, usually the more silent, the better. Not the treadmill.
- When my 70lb. old man pit bull is snoring directly in my ear, it gets my breathing metered.
- The first 5 minutes when I wake up in the morning. Minute 6, that starts on a different story.
- Immediately after crying. That's been four times in 55 days. Maybe I should try that more. Something's eating at me.
There's a small part of me that says to step away from the site, but I've signed up to post to 200, and I am the January HoF train conductor with lcwb96. I take that very seriously. I have met and plan to stay in touch with a bunch of quitters in real life. Maybe my immersion that helped strengthen my quit, is working against me, but I'm flat out scared to step away from the site. I would be scared to even just post each day "Boelker62 - Day XXX" and leave. That just wouldn't be me.
When the first thing I think of each morning is my quit, and my inability to get a satisfying breath, it just gets worse. I feel stuck. I'm a fixer. I'm a problem solver, and it just kills me to not know what the fuck to do to fix me. Can you tell I'm impatient too? I tell my wife all the time to stop and smell the roses, but have a hard time doing so myself.
152? 4 me - déjà -vu, I felt the same way. you're definitely in a funk, as I was at the same time. That one for me lasted almost 2 weeks. didn't feel better till the high 140's. I just felt like something wasn't right, we all no this feeling. anyway it did go away. during that time I posted and left. I now know to help my funks I need a little distance from the site to get through it. I still post, but that's it. After I start feeling better I get involved again. Main thing is to post.
I was thinking - when I brush my teeth I don't think about cavities. don't think about anything just brush. soon posting will be the same. sometimes I just post in a morning daze without even thinking, just post. I know that posting won't ruin my day, so why not.. you'll always look for an excuse when not feeling good. but it's simply a funk, and thank god they do go away... :)
LOOT's been there too bro. Finding no satisfaction in life...at any level...and wanting to blame the very thing you feel is giving you life.
There is no magic bullet to pull you out. No words to reassure. Just know, you aren't in the fight alone. People care. Strangers would shoulder the burden for you if they could...
It'll pass friend. Take solace.
-
Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do.� These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro.� We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
Thanks guys. Day 130. Hobby? Trail running. Here's when I feel normal-good to great:
- In the middle of a trail run, usually the more silent, the better. Not the treadmill.
- When my 70lb. old man pit bull is snoring directly in my ear, it gets my breathing metered.
- The first 5 minutes when I wake up in the morning. Minute 6, that starts on a different story.
- Immediately after crying. That's been four times in 55 days. Maybe I should try that more. Something's eating at me.
There's a small part of me that says to step away from the site, but I've signed up to post to 200, and I am the January HoF train conductor with lcwb96. I take that very seriously. I have met and plan to stay in touch with a bunch of quitters in real life. Maybe my immersion that helped strengthen my quit, is working against me, but I'm flat out scared to step away from the site. I would be scared to even just post each day "Boelker62 - Day XXX" and leave. That just wouldn't be me.
When the first thing I think of each morning is my quit, and my inability to get a satisfying breath, it just gets worse. I feel stuck. I'm a fixer. I'm a problem solver, and it just kills me to not know what the fuck to do to fix me. Can you tell I'm impatient too? I tell my wife all the time to stop and smell the roses, but have a hard time doing so myself.
152? 4 me - déjà -vu, I felt the same way. you're definitely in a funk, as I was at the same time. That one for me lasted almost 2 weeks. didn't feel better till the high 140's. I just felt like something wasn't right, we all no this feeling. anyway it did go away. during that time I posted and left. I now know to help my funks I need a little distance from the site to get through it. I still post, but that's it. After I start feeling better I get involved again. Main thing is to post.
I was thinking - when I brush my teeth I don't think about cavities. don't think about anything just brush. soon posting will be the same. sometimes I just post in a morning daze without even thinking, just post. I know that posting won't ruin my day, so why not.. you'll always look for an excuse when not feeling good. but it's simply a funk, and thank god they do go away... :)
LOOT's been there too bro. Finding no satisfaction in life...at any level...and wanting to blame the very thing you feel is giving you life.
There is no magic bullet to pull you out. No words to reassure. Just know, you aren't in the fight alone. People care. Strangers would shoulder the burden for you if they could...
It'll pass friend. Take solace.
So I reviewed my intro for a similar time into my quit.. I found this entry.........
Ok. Looking for some feedback.
I have not had craves since early in my quit. However, I have had three bouts of depression in the 40/50s, 70/80s and 110s. It has wrecked my running. I am running the Boston this year which is supposed to be a real treat for a runner. I am fatter and I am out of shape because I have not been motivated. My training has sucked. I get depressed and sit at home. Probably why I am on this damn site too much. It does help though.
When is this going to end? Advice?
Well it ended. I no longer deal with this type of stuff. Sometimes quitting has its own pace. You just have to take the suck when it comes. You simply can't "problem solve it"
This has always worked for me on shitty days...
Quit today. The body will adjust. The psyche will adjust. You will gradually and often unnoticeably reinvent what it is to be you. You shall be restored one day at a time.
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Yousa Damned stud B...no doubt about it.
Dunno what day you are on but It sounds like yous in funk? Day 125 or so?
It will pass. They always do.� These words are little consolation LOOT knows...keep your head up bro.� We gots your back.
128 today. I have no desire to use. It's relearning how to live that's tough. Using won't fix the problems that have surfaced since I had buried them with nicotine for 19 years. Check out my HoF speech for more, if you have the time.
Yous in Funk. Always hit around 125.
Relearning how to live is hard. Very hard at times. You got any hobbies? Something to occupy your mind?
Post hof funk. Hits everyone I guess. Get small. Remember the basics. Stay occupied. Do what YOU want to do. Personally I got away from the site for a bit. Just kind of chilaxed and remembered why I wanted to quit and how good it actually feels to be doing it.
I had no desire to use either. I too was just getting burned out a bit on re-learning how to live. Eventually the feeling faded and I was like "oh yeah you dumb shit. You are doing the right thing. Its not easy but I feel a hell of a lot better now than I did when I was posioning myself".
125 days is awesome. Take some time to smell the roses and stop worrying about planting more, they really do smell quite beautiful. You've built a hell of a quit garden. Continue to tend it but remember its a labor of love that eventually will require less and less work to maintain. Hang tough bro!
Thanks guys. Day 130. Hobby? Trail running. Here's when I feel normal-good to great:
- In the middle of a trail run, usually the more silent, the better. Not the treadmill.
- When my 70lb. old man pit bull is snoring directly in my ear, it gets my breathing metered.
- The first 5 minutes when I wake up in the morning. Minute 6, that starts on a different story.
- Immediately after crying. That's been four times in 55 days. Maybe I should try that more. Something's eating at me.
There's a small part of me that says to step away from the site, but I've signed up to post to 200, and I am the January HoF train conductor with lcwb96. I take that very seriously. I have met and plan to stay in touch with a bunch of quitters in real life. Maybe my immersion that helped strengthen my quit, is working against me, but I'm flat out scared to step away from the site. I would be scared to even just post each day "Boelker62 - Day XXX" and leave. That just wouldn't be me.
When the first thing I think of each morning is my quit, and my inability to get a satisfying breath, it just gets worse. I feel stuck. I'm a fixer. I'm a problem solver, and it just kills me to not know what the fuck to do to fix me. Can you tell I'm impatient too? I tell my wife all the time to stop and smell the roses, but have a hard time doing so myself.
FWIW I'm on day 147 no nic and I'm a damn mess. Quit looking at porn about 100 days ago. Quit drinking last week thinking maybe I need some clarity. Only thing that's clear to me is I'm one messed up dude. I've been self medicating since I was 18 and that's 25 years avoiding dealing with life's shit. I've got it good too. Good job, nice house, beautiful wife, beautiful kids, yet I sit here thinking FML.
My head is up, and I press on. Post holiday funk, cabin fever, hoping soon one day the feeling will pass. Good to have this place on my side as I can at least know I'm not the only one dealing with this kinda shit. Praying for you and me today to pull through this. In all this I know no substance is going to make this better in the long run, and I ain't going down that road again. Quit with you today.
EDIT - After I typed this I checked my e-mail. I subscribe to a daily devotional and wanted to share it here as it is pretty timely and an answer to my prayer. I hope you can find healing in it as well.
Psalm 88:1-3
Lord, you are the God Who saves me; day and night I cry out to You. May my prayer come before You; turn Your ear to my cry. I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. (NIV)
Thoughts
Now I admit this is not the most cheerful of verses. However, there are days when some of you as well as me feel this way. My soul is full of trouble and I hurt for God to hear me.
When those days come upon us, the best medicine is to go to your knees in prayer to God. The overwhelming feeling of mercy I have felt when I have asked God to heal the hurt has made it easier to get up and the warming my heart has experienced cannot be experienced, but through His Son.
Action Point
Heart felt pain; the kind that hurts to your core is never easy. I promise you that when you bring your pain to God and ask Him to help you to overcome it, He will do it.
Keep your eyes on Him, for He is the strength to get us through any and everything!!!!
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"Put a box full of thumbtacks down your shorts and jump on a trampoline with a live badger on your head if it helps." SM
Man, I love this place.
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Fuck me. I just woke up (2:36AM) from a nasty cave dream. You know what was happening within said dream? Another cave dream... I don't know if that's a doubly bad dream or a half as bad dream because of that other layer of dreaming. Well, now I'm up. I could sure use some PM's from whoever might see this in the morning... I wonder if there are any idiots like me in Chat?
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Fuck me. I just woke up (2:36AM) from a nasty cave dream. You know what was happening within said dream? Another cave dream... I don't know if that's a doubly bad dream or a half as bad dream because of that other layer of dreaming. Well, now I'm up. I could sure use some PM's from whoever might see this in the morning... I wonder if there are any idiots like me in Chat?
You've got the nic bitch good and pissed. Left her ass for 134 or so days, and she wants you back. You are winning, my friend.
Regarding your last post with the urge to leave the site... it happens to all of us I think... for me it was around day 365... Resist the urge- the nic bitch is watching like a lion, waiting for someone to get separated from the herd... waiting for defenses to go down. Waiting for a momentary lapse.
You've got this.
-
Fuck me. I just woke up (2:36AM) from a nasty cave dream. You know what was happening within said dream? Another cave dream... I don't know if that's a doubly bad dream or a half as bad dream because of that other layer of dreaming. Well, now I'm up. I could sure use some PM's from whoever might see this in the morning... I wonder if there are any idiots like me in Chat?
You've got the nic bitch good and pissed. Left her ass for 134 or so days, and she wants you back. You are winning, my friend.
Regarding your last post with the urge to leave the site... it happens to all of us I think... for me it was around day 365... Resist the urge- the nic bitch is watching like a lion, waiting for someone to get separated from the herd... waiting for defenses to go down. Waiting for a momentary lapse.
You've got this.
Dip dreams are just another hurdle many of us have to face. It is the price we must pay for abusing our bodies for many years. I had 2-4 a week for a good long time. I can't tell you when they will go away.....yet. What I can tell you is they lessen in frequency over time and at some point you will find them far more comical than scary.
Keep plugging away bro, you are doing just fine.
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Fuck me. I just woke up (2:36AM) from a nasty cave dream. You know what was happening within said dream? Another cave dream... I don't know if that's a doubly bad dream or a half as bad dream because of that other layer of dreaming. Well, now I'm up. I could sure use some PM's from whoever might see this in the morning... I wonder if there are any idiots like me in Chat?
You've got the nic bitch good and pissed. Left her ass for 134 or so days, and she wants you back. You are winning, my friend.
Regarding your last post with the urge to leave the site... it happens to all of us I think... for me it was around day 365... Resist the urge- the nic bitch is watching like a lion, waiting for someone to get separated from the herd... waiting for defenses to go down. Waiting for a momentary lapse.
You've got this.
Dip dreams are just another hurdle many of us have to face. It is the price we must pay for abusing our bodies for many years. I had 2-4 a week for a good long time. I can't tell you when they will go away.....yet. What I can tell you is they lessen in frequency over time and at some point you will find them far more comical than scary.
Keep plugging away bro, you are doing just fine.
ya she's just trying to claw her way back in. desperation really at this point. I didn't have any dip dreams till same time as you. All I can say is thank god they're just dreams. My opinion, they actually make you stronger.
A month back I had a dream I bought a 68-69 camaro. was hauling ass down the road. I woke and it was a dream?, now that sucked...
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Just some random thoughts.
Being the conductor of the HoF train for January 2013 has taught me more than a few things. But some that really stand out are as follow:
1) Nicotine addiction really does know no bounds. There's no one group, culture, demographic, fuck, even gender, that it sticks to. Geographically, yeah, it's more widespread in some areas, but I welcomed a 60+ year old guy in, and tomorrow, a college sophomore.
2) Addiction is addiction. This has got to be the worst there is. Full disclosure: I've done more than my fair share of white powdered drugs in my past. After a while, I think you just get sick if it. You can walk away. After a day or two, or a trigger or two, most people are just done. I've seen alot if people just stop. I've never experienced anything like the clutches of nicotine. I believe in the idea that it is harder to kick than some hard drugs. I fully believe it. Some might say, "You're full of shit. When's the last time you saw someone crying in a dark back alley telling their dealer they'd suck their dick for some dip?" The shit costs $5 and is available every-fucking-where. Make it illegal, only available on the street raising it's price and lowering its availability, and I bet, before long, dip addicts would start emptying their own bank accounts, then resorting to selling shit, then resorting to stealing and selling shit. It's not that far-fetched. If anyone in here, noob, vet, an inbetweener like me thinks for one second that they wouldn't do that to themselves, their friends, family, neighbors...they may be quit, but haven't fully accepted the full meaning of what it means to be an addict. They may label themselves that, but unless you really truly accept what an addict is, and how pathetic and criminal we could be if it wasn't relatively cheap and readily available, then I think that person hasn't burned the pilings and is at risk. I would steal shit after I emptied my own accounts. I can assure you that. Which leads me to my next point.
3) I know that I am a shitty fucking pathetic addict and that I will always be one. I have not barely even begun to forgive myself for all the hours I've wasted of my life. If for no other reason, just that. Avoiding people and places and activities just so I could keep dipping. Sick. Really sick. Forget the money for a minute. Forget the "what if" cancer risk for a minute. Just to have wasted all this fucking time an energy skirting life. Skirting emotion. Learning to deal with the shitty things in life. I never cried when my mother died of lung cancer from 30+ years of a pack a day addiction. I had dip. Learning to better enjoy the good things. I won an award after a trail race once. I couldn't enjoy the awards ceremony because I didn't bring any nicotine gum with me, and dipping was certainly out of the question. Nic fitting and running out of there to get home to get my fix. Classy, huh?
4) I am still fucking pissed. Period.
That's enough for now. See number 4.
-
Just some random thoughts.
Being the conductor of the HoF train for January 2013 has taught me more than a few things. But some that really stand out are as follow:
1) Nicotine addiction really does know no bounds. There's no one group, geography, demographic, fuck, even gender, that it sticks to. Culturally, yeah, it's more widespread in some areas, but I welcomed a 60+ year old guy in, and tomorrow, a college sophomore.
2) Addiction is addiction. This has got to be the worst there is. Full disclosure: I've done more than my fair share of white powdered drugs in my past. After a while, I think you just get sick if it. You can walk away. After a day or two, or a trigger or two, most people are just done. I've seen alot if people just stop. I've never experienced anything like the clutches if nicotine. I believe in the idea that it is harder to kick than some hard drugs. I fully believe it. Some might say, "You're full of shit. When's the last time you saw someone crying in a dark back alley telling their dealer they'd suck their dick for some dip?" The shit costs $5 and is available every-fucking-where. Make it illegal, only available on the street raising it's price and lowering its availability, and I bet, before long, dip addicts would start emptying their own bank accounts, then resorting to selling shit, then resorting to stealing and selling shit. It's not that far-fetched. If anyone in here, noob, vet, an inbetweener like me thinks for one second that they wouldn't do that to themselves, their friends, family, neighbors...they may be quit, but haven't fully accepted the full meaning of what it means to be an addict. They may label themselves that, but unless you really truly accept what an addict is, and how pathetic and criminal we could be if it wasn't relatively cheap and readily available, then I think that person hasn't burned the pilings and is at risk. I would steal shit after I emptied my own accounts. I can assure you that. Which leads me to my next point.
3) I know that I am a shitty fucking pathetic addict and that I will always be one. I have not barely even begun to forgive myself for all the hours I've wasted of my life. If for no other reason, just that. Avoiding people and places and activities just so I could keep dipping. Sick. Really sick. Forget the money for a minute. Forget the "what if" cancer risk for a minute. Just to have wasted all this fucking time an energy skirting life. Skirting emotion. Learning to deal with the shitty things in life. I never cried when my mother died of lung cancer from 30+ years of a pack a day addiction. I had dip. Learning to better enjoy the good things. I won an award after a trail race once. I couldn't enjoy the awards ceremony because I didn't bring any nicotine gum with me, and dipping was certainly out of the question. Nic fitting and running out of there to get home to get my fix. Classy, huh?
4) I am still fucking pissed. Period.
That's enough for now. See number 4.
hey boelker62, good stuff! good to see you ranting. It's the way to freedom Brother. Keep ranting, keep focused, keep quit.
today is my day 250 and the freedom and clarity is better than any dope, ever!
It's gets lots better brother B.
Quittin' with YOU one Day at time! 'bang head'
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Happy Birthday brother!
'party2'
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Happy Birthday brother!
'party2'
Happy Bday man
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Happy Birthday brother!
'party2'
Happy Bday man
Happy bday!!!!! Best present you got today was your name on roll I bet!!!! Quit with you.
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Hey Badass! Congrats on 800 incredible days and thank you so very very much for sticking around to help me. It means a shit ton that you do that. Please say hi to the Mrs and hope to see you again real soon.
ps. You might try working out. It really helps with the quit and getting rid of all that flab and stuff.
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Congrats on 8th floor DB. Keep it up. You are getting pretty good it this quitting thing.
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I've run into this Boelker fellow on the Alcohol Slow Down board. You are a bad ass quitter man. Congrats on the 8th floor!
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I've run into this Boelker fellow on the Alcohol Slow Down board. You are a bad ass quitter man. Congrats on the 8th floor!
And I've run into him supporting the new quitters. Noticed that big round number today with 4 zeroes. Good thing 2 of them were stacked. Congrats man.
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
'Cheers'
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Boelker you sunnuva bitch, you did it. 1,000 fuckin days. Congrats man. I quit with you
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
Congrats on 1,000! Nice to know when you need support at any level of you quit....you can find it coming from this site!
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
Congrats on 1,000! Nice to know when you need support at any level of you quit....you can find it coming from this site!
Congratulations on the 1000 my brother! Hope to post with you at 10,000 my brother!
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
Congrats on 1,000! Nice to know when you need support at any level of you quit....you can find it coming from this site!
Congratulations on the 1000 my brother! Hope to post with you at 10,000 my brother!
Nice grand number...wear it with pride!
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
Congrats on 1,000! Nice to know when you need support at any level of you quit....you can find it coming from this site!
Congratulations on the 1000 my brother! Hope to post with you at 10,000 my brother!
Nice grand number...wear it with pride!
Congrats on 1,000 days of being a bad ass quitter. Thank you for sharing your quit with us
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Good afternoon! I'm Dave Boelker, and am a 35 year old building inspector from PA. Over two years ago. I quit for a year, having dipped fairly consistently since the age of 16. Somehow, a year ago, I fell back off. Don't know why. Nothing happened. Maybe I was eating too much and was more conceited about gaining weight than the risks of this fucking demon bitch nicotine. So, today, August 27, 2012, I am quitting again. I don't have to. I wasn't caught. No ones holding it over me. I want to. I really do. I remember being so free from the feelings and swings, before. Now, my day is arranged around it. Not tonight. Forget about tomorrow. Forget about forever. Just working on tonight.
I'll tell ya, I still don't know about roll call. It still seems like jibberish to me. Maybe I don't have the antention span. Still, I want to be able to chat with someone from time to time and looking for some support.
1,000 days ago this dude was getting ready to quit. He supports a ton of quitters and posts all over the place. He gets it. Congratulations on a massive accomplishment.
1,000 is the real deal. Thank you sir.
HUGE!!!
Toasting a growler!
Fuckin'A Dave that is awesome! Way to get legendary brother!
Congrats on 1,000! Nice to know when you need support at any level of you quit....you can find it coming from this site!
Congratulations on the 1000 my brother! Hope to post with you at 10,000 my brother!
Nice grand number...wear it with pride!
Congrats on 1,000 days of being a bad ass quitter. Thank you for sharing your quit with us
BOOM goes the dynamite!
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
3 years is badass! I see your support all over,that's awesome! Hope to be active as well each day! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
3 years is badass! I see your support all over,that's awesome! Hope to be active as well each day! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Congrats on 3 years Dave! Proud to be quit with you EDD.
CJ
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
3 years is badass! I see your support all over,that's awesome! Hope to be active as well each day! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Congrats on 3 years Dave! Proud to be quit with you EDD.
CJ
nice job!
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
3 years is badass! I see your support all over,that's awesome! Hope to be active as well each day! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Congrats on 3 years Dave! Proud to be quit with you EDD.
CJ
nice job!
Damn - I thought it was tomorrow or I would have said something earlier! Congrats Boelker. Thanks for your support every day. You are da man.
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Extremely happy for you today Bo. 3 years is something to be proud of. Thanks for all your support. Congrats brother!
three years of pure awesomeness. Congrats David! You are a fucking rockstar
3 years is badass! I see your support all over,that's awesome! Hope to be active as well each day! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Congrats on 3 years Dave! Proud to be quit with you EDD.
CJ
nice job!
Damn - I thought it was tomorrow or I would have said something earlier! Congrats Boelker. Thanks for your support every day. You are da man.
3 years, BAQ right there! Congrats!
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One thousand, Three hundred..... not bad. Not bad at all. That's a nice target to shoot for! Congrats Mr. Boelker!
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One thousand, Three hundred..... not bad. Not bad at all. That's a nice target to shoot for! Congrats Mr. Boelker!
13th floor= Super Bad Ass!!!! Congrats Man!!!! Thanks for leading the way!
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Congrats on 4 years of quit!
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Congrats on 4 years of quit!
Congrats on 4 years Bo!!!!
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Congrats on 4 years of quit!
Congrats on 4 years Bo!!!!
Wow! Congrats on 4 years of solid quitting ad support.
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Congrats on 4 years of quit!
Congrats on 4 years Bo!!!!
Wow! Congrats on 4 years of solid quitting ad support.
4yrs of kicking ass. Love it. Appreciate the support and hosting the PA Quit meet. You are showing how it's done by example!!!
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Congrats on 4 years of quit!
Congrats on 4 years Bo!!!!
Wow! Congrats on 4 years of solid quitting ad support.
4yrs of kicking ass. Love it. Appreciate the support and hosting the PA Quit meet. You are showing how it's done by example!!!
Just, awesome!
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Congrats on 5 years quit!
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Congrats on 5 years quit!
5 years of kicking ass. I would not be where I'm at without the help that you have offered. Thank you.
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congrats on 5 years quit
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congrats on 5 years quit
You are the example of quit, Dave. Congratulations!
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congrats on 5 years quit
You are the example of quit, Dave. Congratulations!
Great job on 5 years!
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congrats on 5 years quit
You are the example of quit, Dave. Congratulations!
Great job on 5 years!
Congrats on 5 years quit!!