KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: MikeWC on August 14, 2012, 09:15:00 PM
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I joined here over a year ago and never posted. Read a bunch of your comments, etc. Just couldn't get myself to man up and post I was ready to quit. I'll be honest, usually by the time I was ready to click off of this site I had a dip in and was feeling like shit. Thinking I would never be strong enough to stick to it. So many excuses, I work a swing shift, 12 hr days rotating night shift to day shift every 9 weeks....how the hell was I going to let go of my best friend? The one that was always with me late at night when I can't sleep and my family was all in bed? The one that had coffee with me every morning (or night if I am on night shift). Well like I said, my name's Mike. I QUIT! I am on day four with no tobacco or nicotine at all. I am using GRINDS which I expect to get rid of as soon as the feeling of needing something in my mouth goes away. I'm in a fog but it is getting better. My legs are wobbly, I've put on 5 lbs...WTF!!!!! Tonight I came home from work and wanted to tear into my family...they didn't do anything. Shit they had dinner ready for me. How messed up is that? I did this to myself. I am probably rambling but I am in the middle of working 10 days in a row, 12 hr shifts. I am going to try to figure out how to post roll yet tonight, but I need to go get some sleep soon. I am feeling like crap but at the same time I am going to take this head on and I have no doubt I will win, but I need help. If anybody pm's me with a phone # or whatever it is you do, text messaging works best for me. I work in a very loud factory and I have 2 young kids at home yet who always want to be by my side. I hope this all doesn't sound stupid, but I'm here and I QUIT!
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alright, I tried to post roll, screwed it up I think. I will try again in morning, if I screw it up again I promise I will not use tobacco in any form tomorrow (my day 5) I will figure this out, just having a bad week with a lot of overtime which doesn't give me much time to work through this. The main thing is I am here to stay.
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Mike..click on the pink welcome center in the top left of your screen. You're not alone in this. I have two small kids too and have a messed up schedule now because of football. Check your inbox fatty.
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Welcome aboard bud. One thing I would advise is no longer romanticize your past usage. Its best for you and for any JoeBlowALoot that comes along. We're reprogramming your mental framework. Positive reinforcement in some areas and negative dissociation in others. Get your mind right and your ass will follow. Its your enemy. And I suggest treating it that way. Personify it. If you know what you want to be and what you don't want to be, you can form a picture in your mind and start to separate the two. We want to separate that using addict away from the real "you". That's the guy who should be front and center. The other dude, we'll bury in the backyard.
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Welcome aboard bud. One thing I would advise is no longer romanticize your past usage. Its best for you and for any JoeBlowALoot that comes along. We're reprogramming your mental framework. Positive reinforcement in some areas and negative dissociation in others. Get your mind right and your ass will follow. Its your enemy. And I suggest treating it that way. Personify it. If you know what you want to be and what you don't want to be, you can form a picture in your mind and start to separate the two. We want to separate that using addict away from the real "you". That's the guy who should be front and center. The other dude, we'll bury in the backyard.
Mike I'm always available to reach out to for help the only thing I ask is that you will be there for me or other quitters. We can kill this bitch together!
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Welcome MikeWC. Your definantely not in this alone. I work second shift and I usually work 1 or 2 12 hour days a week and every other weekend lately. Not as much as you but I know where your coming from. I am sure you have a bunch of buddies there that dip also which does not help. But keep your mind quit and scroll through this site whenever you feel like crap and post roll every morning and well get through these rough days all together. Keep your head up. Matt
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Welcome MikeWC. Your definantely not in this alone. I work second shift and I usually work 1 or 2 12 hour days a week and every other weekend lately. Not as much as you but I know where your coming from. I am sure you have a bunch of buddies there that dip also which does not help. But keep your mind quit and scroll through this site whenever you feel like crap and post roll every morning and well get through these rough days all together. Keep your head up. Matt
Hey mike, I also work a weird rotating shift. Getting ready to push from swings 1600-0000 to mids 0000-0800.
I understand how you feel about using tobacco to "help" get you through your shifts. I used to think I "needed" it to stay awake, stay focused, stay alert, which with my job can be VERY important.
That's a bunch of bullshit. 100% not true. The majority of people I work with don't use tobacco and they make it though shift just fine. So can you!
Those thoughts are just your addiction trying to control you. Souliman dropped some very important wisdom that helps me significantly. There are TWO of you. The ADDICT, that thinks you "need" dip to get through a shift, and the REAL you that doesn't need that poison ever again.
Put the real you in charge and tell the addict to STFU, put it in a cage, and lock it shut. The addict is going to make a LOT of noise, but you keep that sneaky, tricky, poisonous bastard stuffed in his hole and he'll get weaker and weaker as you get stronger and stronger. Then one day you won't hear from him at all. Then later, he'll be quiet for a few days. He'll always be there, so don't get lazy. If you forget, that fucker might escape and you'll have to catch him again.
Lock that cage when you post roll. Wrap the key with your word and carry it with you all day. Repeat.
Quit with you.
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Thanks for all the words of wisdom everyone. I PM'd all back who sent me PM's, hopefully I did it right and you got my replies. TODAY SUCKED! I have been thinking about that dirty shit all day but talking myself through my craves by knowing that if I did stop and buy I would hate myself more. I am lucky enough to have a family that is supporting me 100% and I can tell my wife what is going through my mind. I know that a big part of my problem is the workload these past ten days...125 hrs and I decide to make this week my quit. Hope this rambling makes sense, I appreciate you guys and your strength. I will stay quit, just needed to put into words how today gave me a run for my money. Going to get some sleep now, one more long day of work and then a date weekend with the wife! See you at roll post in the morning (I'll probably phuck that up again too.....what the hell does "double fix" mean after my post????)
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Thanks for all the words of wisdom everyone. I PM'd all back who sent me PM's, hopefully I did it right and you got my replies. TODAY SUCKED! I have been thinking about that dirty shit all day but talking myself through my craves by knowing that if I did stop and buy I would hate myself more. I am lucky enough to have a family that is supporting me 100% and I can tell my wife what is going through my mind. I know that a big part of my problem is the workload these past ten days...125 hrs and I decide to make this week my quit. Hope this rambling makes sense, I appreciate you guys and your strength. I will stay quit, just needed to put into words how today gave me a run for my money. Going to get some sleep now, one more long day of work and then a date weekend with the wife! See you at roll post in the morning (I'll probably phuck that up again too.....what the hell does "double fix" mean after my post????)
Way to fight, way to win.
This fight ain't for sissies, mike. The are going to be some seriously shitty days, but if you get through them alive and nicotine free, you've won. Any day without tobacco is a victory regardless of what else happens.
If you're craving, get on here STAT and post up... Read some words of wisdom... Read about the kerns.... Look at some pictures... Call a quit brother (you do have phone numbers, right???)... read some HOF speeches.... Slam your nuts in a door. Whatever it takes, though the first six options are better than the last one.
It is time to man up and take fucking control over your life. You've been a slave for too goddamned long and free for too fucking short a time to let it slip through your fingers. Bad days get better. Craves go away. Keep your head in the game... at this stage of the game, you can't lose focus for a second.
You won today. Wake up, post roll, and get ready to fight the good fight again. You'll have thousands of brothers and sisters watching your six.
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Thanks for all the words of wisdom everyone. I PM'd all back who sent me PM's, hopefully I did it right and you got my replies. TODAY SUCKED! I have been thinking about that dirty shit all day but talking myself through my craves by knowing that if I did stop and buy I would hate myself more. I am lucky enough to have a family that is supporting me 100% and I can tell my wife what is going through my mind. I know that a big part of my problem is the workload these past ten days...125 hrs and I decide to make this week my quit. Hope this rambling makes sense, I appreciate you guys and your strength. I will stay quit, just needed to put into words how today gave me a run for my money. Going to get some sleep now, one more long day of work and then a date weekend with the wife! See you at roll post in the morning (I'll probably phuck that up again too.....what the hell does "double fix" mean after my post????)
Way to fight, way to win.
This fight ain't for sissies, mike. The are going to be some seriously shitty days, but if you get through them alive and nicotine free, you've won. Any day without tobacco is a victory regardless of what else happens.
If you're craving, get on here STAT and post up... Read some words of wisdom... Read about the kerns.... Look at some pictures... Call a quit brother (you do have phone numbers, right???)... read some HOF speeches.... Slam your nuts in a door. Whatever it takes, though the first six options are better than the last one.
It is time to man up and take fucking control over your life. You've been a slave for too goddamned long and free for too fucking short a time to let it slip through your fingers. Bad days get better. Craves go away. Keep your head in the game... at this stage of the game, you can't lose focus for a second.
You won today. Wake up, post roll, and get ready to fight the good fight again. You'll have thousands of brothers and sisters watching your six.
Way to go Mike. The hardest part was to give up nicotine even when you thought you couldn't. Stick with this program and you WILL be successful, but stray away and you will find yourself back in the clutches of the dip can. Stay strong stay quit!!
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Fight through it brother. I was a can a day for 32 years and now on day 78 of my quit, life is a whole lot better. I find myself not even thinking about the shit anymore and it feels good! I am quit WITH you, one day at a time.
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"what the hell does "double fix" mean after my post????"
I think that means you were accidently bumped twice and another poster fixed your original post by retyping it again.
Bumping happens, just another glitch in the system of posting. Try to check back after you post roll to see if you accidently bumped anyone off the list and to make sure you stay on the list. Its a pain but it is the only way I know.
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I'm in the middle of day 9, been through my first weekend at home without dip, went to a movie (expendables2) without dip, mowed the lawn twice this week without dip, worked out in my shop without dip....anyways I just want to say it has been better than I ever thought. Don't get me wrong, I have a shitload of craves and they suck ass. I find that every day I post, spend some time reading here, send a text or two, helps me a lot. I feel stronger every day but at the same time I raise my guard more. I have a lot of friends who dip, a few who have "quit".....they started smoking...WTF?, they have no confidence in my strength and statement that I QUIT! They all know me as the guy that's dipped longer than any of them...I started at age 10 and have been killing myself for 34 years. I've pissed away just as much money as anyone. In 34 years I have only tried to quit once, made it 30 days. That was 20 years ago and I caved on Christmas Eve due to some stress. More rambling from me, but I am checking in and writing this as a big thank you to my quit group, the people who have reached out to me and PM'd me and sent text messages. Continue to reach out to each other, we all need each other and together we will be BAMF quitters! Thank you all, Mike
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I'm in the middle of day 9, been through my first weekend at home without dip, went to a movie (expendables2) without dip, mowed the lawn twice this week without dip, worked out in my shop without dip....anyways I just want to say it has been better than I ever thought. Don't get me wrong, I have a shitload of craves and they suck ass. I find that every day I post, spend some time reading here, send a text or two, helps me a lot. I feel stronger every day but at the same time I raise my guard more. I have a lot of friends who dip, a few who have "quit".....they started smoking...WTF?, they have no confidence in my strength and statement that I QUIT! They all know me as the guy that's dipped longer than any of them...I started at age 10 and have been killing myself for 34 years. I've pissed away just as much money as anyone. In 34 years I have only tried to quit once, made it 30 days. That was 20 years ago and I caved on Christmas Eve due to some stress. More rambling from me, but I am checking in and writing this as a big thank you to my quit group, the people who have reached out to me and PM'd me and sent text messages. Continue to reach out to each other, we all need each other and together we will be BAMF quitters! Thank you all, Mike
Congrats Mike! You're doing great; nice to kick some arse! You are doing your quit like a man...you got my number bro if you ever need to reach out..nice to see people racking up days of freedom. Quit with you everyday.
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I'm in the middle of day 9, been through my first weekend at home without dip, went to a movie (expendables2) without dip, mowed the lawn twice this week without dip, worked out in my shop without dip....anyways I just want to say it has been better than I ever thought. Don't get me wrong, I have a shitload of craves and they suck ass. I find that every day I post, spend some time reading here, send a text or two, helps me a lot. I feel stronger every day but at the same time I raise my guard more. I have a lot of friends who dip, a few who have "quit".....they started smoking...WTF?, they have no confidence in my strength and statement that I QUIT! They all know me as the guy that's dipped longer than any of them...I started at age 10 and have been killing myself for 34 years. I've pissed away just as much money as anyone. In 34 years I have only tried to quit once, made it 30 days. That was 20 years ago and I caved on Christmas Eve due to some stress. More rambling from me, but I am checking in and writing this as a big thank you to my quit group, the people who have reached out to me and PM'd me and sent text messages. Continue to reach out to each other, we all need each other and together we will be BAMF quitters!   Thank you all, Mike
Congrats Mike! You're doing great; nice to kick some arse! You are doing your quit like a man...you got my number bro if you ever need to reach out..nice to see people racking up days of freedom. Quit with you everyday.
Good to see and read the resolve in these new quitters as compared to the lack thereof in cavers. Ever feeling weak, go read the lame ass excuses cavers come up with when they tread back in here with their tail between their legs.
Stay strong, fight the battle, live to see another day. All cliche' but ridiculously accurate. I'll be a cliche' all day if it keeps me quit. QLAFM
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I'm in the middle of day 9, been through my first weekend at home without dip, went to a movie (expendables2) without dip, mowed the lawn twice this week without dip, worked out in my shop without dip....anyways I just want to say it has been better than I ever thought. Don't get me wrong, I have a shitload of craves and they suck ass. I find that every day I post, spend some time reading here, send a text or two, helps me a lot. I feel stronger every day but at the same time I raise my guard more. I have a lot of friends who dip, a few who have "quit".....they started smoking...WTF?, they have no confidence in my strength and statement that I QUIT! They all know me as the guy that's dipped longer than any of them...I started at age 10 and have been killing myself for 34 years. I've pissed away just as much money as anyone. In 34 years I have only tried to quit once, made it 30 days. That was 20 years ago and I caved on Christmas Eve due to some stress. More rambling from me, but I am checking in and writing this as a big thank you to my quit group, the people who have reached out to me and PM'd me and sent text messages. Continue to reach out to each other, we all need each other and together we will be BAMF quitters!   Thank you all,  Mike
Congrats Mike! You're doing great; nice to kick some arse! You are doing your quit like a man...you got my number bro if you ever need to reach out..nice to see people racking up days of freedom. Quit with you everyday.
Good to see and read the resolve in these new quitters as compared to the lack thereof in cavers. Ever feeling weak, go read the lame ass excuses cavers come up with when they tread back in here with their tail between their legs.
Stay strong, fight the battle, live to see another day. All cliche' but ridiculously accurate. I'll be a cliche' all day if it keeps me quit. QLAFM
Keep on kicking ass one day at a time brother. No matter what life throws at us it is ten times better than crawling back into the trenches with a lip full of shit. I quit with you today....
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Holy crap, I am at work just on lunch. Heard the old finger tapping can sound, looked up and watched a guy put a dip in. I was not expecting what happened next. My entire bidy turned warm and I got that dizzy feeling that we got when we first started that crap. This crave was my strongest yet. All's good, just wanted to post before I head back out into plant floor. Staying quit today with you all.
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Holy crap, I am at work just on lunch. Heard the old finger tapping can sound, looked up and watched a guy put a dip in. I was not expecting what happened next. My entire bidy turned warm and I got that dizzy feeling that we got when we first started that crap. This crave was my strongest yet. All's good, just wanted to post before I head back out into plant floor. Staying quit today with you all.
Way to be strong man. I coach with two guys that do that shit in front of me all the time. Sometimes it flings a craving on me sometimes I think man I'm glad I aint a slave to that shit anymore. Press on.
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Holy crap, I am at work just on lunch. Heard the old finger tapping can sound, looked up and watched a guy put a dip in. I was not expecting what happened next. My entire bidy turned warm and I got that dizzy feeling that we got when we first started that crap. This crave was my strongest yet. All's good, just wanted to post before I head back out into plant floor. Staying quit today with you all.
Way to be strong man. I coach with two guys that do that shit in front of me all the time. Sometimes it flings a craving on me sometimes I think man I'm glad I aint a slave to that shit anymore. Press on.
Four out of the seven guys I work with daily either dip or smoke. The first week sucked ass watching them shove that shit in their lips or light up a cancer stick, but now it doesn't even bother me. Those cravings will pass soon so keep going strong with your quit.
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Thanks for the words of support BigDave and Kstampfly. I am still climbing the fucking walls tonight, guess it's one of those days we all get to deal with. I just wasn't expecting this cheap feel from the bitch. Staying quit with all of you, and thanks again. Mike
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Dusting this off for 800, congrats.