KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: KayakKurt on February 20, 2012, 01:27:00 AM
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Well I'll start with saying I was first a cigarette smoker. I had my first cigarette when I was 15 and loved it. I didn't start dipping until around my 21st birthday. I was working construction and a lot of the guys chewed. It was encouraged. Said I'd work faster, harder. I wouldn't be out of breath like some of the hardcore smokers were. I was young and wanted to fit in with the old guys.
I started with skoal mint and wintergreen. But mostly chewed copenhagen green. I would go back and forth between smoking and chewing sometimes using both in the same day. Well February 1st I had my last cigarette. I'm an active outdoorsy guy. I love to kayak, hike, ride my bike, I enjoy fishing and hunting too. I decided I didn't want to be out of breath trying to keep up with my girlfriend hiking to the top of a mountain. But my chewing habit doubled as I quit smoking...
I was chewing and beginning to swallow the juices. I'd be doing research online at alternative chews and decided to order a can from oregon mint snuff. I started using it and threw away my can of cope. Saturday was my last dip. Today was my first 24 hr day. I've been reading this site and the forum all day. Debating whether to join or not.
I don't want to do this alone. Hold that though.
I CAN NOT do this alone. I've tried and failed.
So I'm reaching out for help. Today february 19th has been absolutely nicotine free. Tomorrow february 20th 2012, I vow to not use nicotine.
Here's why I'm doing it:
I want to live, not just get old, but hike to as many mountain peaks as possible. Kayak as many bays and lakes as possible.
I'm sick of wasting my money on this shit.
I'm sick of being a slave to nicotine.
I'm not doing it for my girlfriend or anyone else.
I'm doing this for Kurt.
I thought I should also add I'm of the younger generation on here. I'm only 23, only been using for 8 years. But 8 years is enough. There's no way I'm picking up a cigarette again. I need your guys help to make sure there's no way I put achew in my lip again.
-Kurt
in Bellingham, Washington
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Well I'll start with saying I was first a cigarette smoker. I had my first cigarette when I was 15 and loved it. I didn't start dipping until around my 21st birthday. I was working construction and a lot of the guys chewed. It was encouraged. Said I'd work faster, harder. I wouldn't be out of breath like some of the hardcore smokers were. I was young and wanted to fit in with the old guys.
I started with skoal mint and wintergreen. But mostly chewed copenhagen green. I would go back and forth between smoking and chewing sometimes using both in the same day. Well February 1st I had my last cigarette. I'm an active outdoorsy guy. I love to kayak, hike, ride my bike, I enjoy fishing and hunting too. I decided I didn't want to be out of breath trying to keep up with my girlfriend hiking to the top of a mountain. But my chewing habit doubled as I quit smoking...
I was chewing and beginning to swallow the juices. I'd be doing research online at alternative chews and decided to order a can from oregon mint snuff. I started using it and threw away my can of cope. Saturday was my last dip. Today was my first 24 hr day. I've been reading this site and the forum all day. Debating whether to join or not.
I don't want to do this alone. Hold that though.
I CAN NOT do this alone. I've tried and failed.
So I'm reaching out for help. Today february 19th has been absolutely nicotine free. Tomorrow february 20th 2012, I vow to not use nicotine.
Here's why I'm doing it:
I want to live, not just get old, but hike to as many mountain peaks as possible. Kayak as many bays and lakes as possible.
I'm sick of wasting my money on this shit.
I'm sick of being a slave to nicotine.
I'm not doing it for my girlfriend or anyone else.
I'm doing this for Kurt.
I thought I should also add I'm of the younger generation on here. I'm only 23, only been using for 8 years. But 8 years is enough. There's no way I'm picking up a cigarette again. I need your guys help to make sure there's no way I put achew in my lip again.
-Kurt
in Bellingham, Washington
Hey man,
There are lots of younger quitters here. I am 24, used nicotine for 10 years. There should be no debate. You should join this site. The accountability and support I have received from this site since I joined 195 days has been staggering. I couldn't have done it without my quit brothers. It was the BEST decision I have ever made. You should post your Day 2 right now while your here.
Read about how to post roll at this link :
index.php?showtopic=50 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=50)
You can do this man.
Also, kayaking is awesome. :D
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Well I'll start with saying I was first a cigarette smoker. I had my first cigarette when I was 15 and loved it. I didn't start dipping until around my 21st birthday. I was working construction and a lot of the guys chewed. It was encouraged. Said I'd work faster, harder. I wouldn't be out of breath like some of the hardcore smokers were. I was young and wanted to fit in with the old guys.
I started with skoal mint and wintergreen. But mostly chewed copenhagen green. I would go back and forth between smoking and chewing sometimes using both in the same day. Well February 1st I had my last cigarette. I'm an active outdoorsy guy. I love to kayak, hike, ride my bike, I enjoy fishing and hunting too. I decided I didn't want to be out of breath trying to keep up with my girlfriend hiking to the top of a mountain. But my chewing habit doubled as I quit smoking...
I was chewing and beginning to swallow the juices. I'd be doing research online at alternative chews and decided to order a can from oregon mint snuff. I started using it and threw away my can of cope. Saturday was my last dip. Today was my first 24 hr day. I've been reading this site and the forum all day. Debating whether to join or not.
I don't want to do this alone. Hold that though.
I CAN NOT do this alone. I've tried and failed.
So I'm reaching out for help. Today february 19th has been absolutely nicotine free. Tomorrow february 20th 2012, I vow to not use nicotine.
Here's why I'm doing it:
I want to live, not just get old, but hike to as many mountain peaks as possible. Kayak as many bays and lakes as possible.
I'm sick of wasting my money on this shit.
I'm sick of being a slave to nicotine.
I'm not doing it for my girlfriend or anyone else.
I'm doing this for Kurt.
I thought I should also add I'm of the younger generation on here. I'm only 23, only been using for 8 years. But 8 years is enough. There's no way I'm picking up a cigarette again. I need your guys help to make sure there's no way I put achew in my lip again.
-Kurt
in Bellingham, Washington
You've got your head right for the quit man.. Welcome to the site.. First I'll suggest to make a quit plan (a step by step process on what you'll do when you get cravings) and keep it with you.. I'm also 23 so I'm understanding of your surroundings and what goes on in the bars and all that rowdy shit.. However, stay the fuck away from alcohol for a while until you have your feet on the ground..
Post Roll,
Stay Quit,
Repeat..
Dale
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Well I'll start with saying I was first a cigarette smoker. I had my first cigarette when I was 15 and loved it. I didn't start dipping until around my 21st birthday. I was working construction and a lot of the guys chewed. It was encouraged. Said I'd work faster, harder. I wouldn't be out of breath like some of the hardcore smokers were. I was young and wanted to fit in with the old guys.
I started with skoal mint and wintergreen. But mostly chewed copenhagen green. I would go back and forth between smoking and chewing sometimes using both in the same day. Well February 1st I had my last cigarette. I'm an active outdoorsy guy. I love to kayak, hike, ride my bike, I enjoy fishing and hunting too. I decided I didn't want to be out of breath trying to keep up with my girlfriend hiking to the top of a mountain. But my chewing habit doubled as I quit smoking...
I was chewing and beginning to swallow the juices. I'd be doing research online at alternative chews and decided to order a can from oregon mint snuff. I started using it and threw away my can of cope. Saturday was my last dip. Today was my first 24 hr day. I've been reading this site and the forum all day. Debating whether to join or not.
I don't want to do this alone. Hold that though.
I CAN NOT do this alone. I've tried and failed.
So I'm reaching out for help. Today february 19th has been absolutely nicotine free. Tomorrow february 20th 2012, I vow to not use nicotine.
Here's why I'm doing it:
I want to live, not just get old, but hike to as many mountain peaks as possible. Kayak as many bays and lakes as possible.
I'm sick of wasting my money on this shit.
I'm sick of being a slave to nicotine.
I'm not doing it for my girlfriend or anyone else.
I'm doing this for Kurt.
I thought I should also add I'm of the younger generation on here. I'm only 23, only been using for 8 years. But 8 years is enough. There's no way I'm picking up a cigarette again. I need your guys help to make sure there's no way I put achew in my lip again.
-Kurt
in Bellingham, Washington
You've got your head right for the quit man.. Welcome to the site.. First I'll suggest to make a quit plan (a step by step process on what you'll do when you get cravings) and keep it with you.. I'm also 23 so I'm understanding of your surroundings and what goes on in the bars and all that rowdy shit.. However, stay the fuck away from alcohol for a while until you have your feet on the ground..
Post Roll,
Stay Quit,
Repeat..
Dale
WELCOME to the site! No quitting isn't easy but there is no other choice. That's what I tell myself. I ordered Bacc- Off and use when i really feel anxiety. The wintergreen Energized tastes and smells like Kodiak. It even gives a little buzz. Stay Quit! That's it. I haven't gotten any phone numbers yet so if you need support we can exchange.
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Hey guys, appreciate it. Just posted roll for day 2.
Maybe someone can relate to this. Well, I'm originally from California. Moved to washington in October. My best friend here is my uncle. We fish together, hunt together, watch seahawks football together. He's a big time chewer, he got me to quit spitting my chew and to wash it down with water or coffee...
Since I started using mint snuff I'm kind of scared to hang out with him. since he's 20 years old I don't want to sound like I'm preaching at him to quit. Hes a former smoker and was off nic for a while, but had some really stressful days and went back to chewing.
I guess I'm worried he'll think I'm a pussy for "dipping" this mint stuff or something else... I don't know.
Well the good news is my girlfriend has gotten behind me in my corner. I feel bad for her though because I've caught myself snapping at her and having to apologize. She understands it's not her, it's this fucking addiction.
So guys any advice on the uncle? I know he's not ready to quit, doesn't want to quit, but what should I do to save face?
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Hey guys, appreciate it. Just posted roll for day 2.
Maybe someone can relate to this. Well, I'm originally from California. Moved to washington in October. My best friend here is my uncle. We fish together, hunt together, watch seahawks football together. He's a big time chewer, he got me to quit spitting my chew and to wash it down with water or coffee...
Since I started using mint snuff I'm kind of scared to hang out with him. since he's 20 years old I don't want to sound like I'm preaching at him to quit. Hes a former smoker and was off nic for a while, but had some really stressful days and went back to chewing.
I guess I'm worried he'll think I'm a pussy for "dipping" this mint stuff or something else... I don't know.
Well the good news is my girlfriend has gotten behind me in my corner. I feel bad for her though because I've caught myself snapping at her and having to apologize. She understands it's not her, it's this fucking addiction.
So guys any advice on the uncle? I know he's not ready to quit, doesn't want to quit, but what should I do to save face?
What should you do to save face? Literally? Just keep quitting and the doctors won't cut it off.
The only way to "look like a pussy" is to be swayed by the perception of a man who doesn't know he's killing himself.
I bet your uncle liked you before you dipped. If that is all your relationship is based upon, you need a new uncle. One that won't kill you. Just sayin.
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No you're right.
Well, me and my uncle haven't known each other all that long. Long story but basically met him at my grandpa's funeral.
He chewed, I smoked. I was trying to quit smoking because of my lungs, and I remember he said "smoking is for women, chew is for men" and i gave my cigs away, and went straight chew for a while.
I guess what I'm asking is should I tell him I'm quit? Should I tell him I'm using mint snuff?
I don't think he'd give a shit that I'm not chewing anymore. Guess I'm more worried about him giving me shit for using mint snuff. Like I'm trying to look like a dipper though I'm not.
He's a good guy, I just don't want it to come across that I'm preaching at him to quit. Or anything like that.
What do you guys do about people in your social circle who still use nicotine? Any tips, advice? Should I avoid them for now? Should I just telll them I'm quit. Anything and everything helps
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No you're right.
Well, me and my uncle haven't known each other all that long. Long story but basically met him at my grandpa's funeral.
He chewed, I smoked. I was trying to quit smoking because of my lungs, and I remember he said "smoking is for women, chew is for men" and i gave my cigs away, and went straight chew for a while.
I guess what I'm asking is should I tell him I'm quit? Should I tell him I'm using mint snuff?
I don't think he'd give a shit that I'm not chewing anymore. Guess I'm more worried about him giving me shit for using mint snuff. Like I'm trying to look like a dipper though I'm not.
He's a good guy, I just don't want it to come across that I'm preaching at him to quit. Or anything like that.
What do you guys do about people in your social circle who still use nicotine? Any tips, advice? Should I avoid them for now? Should I just telll them I'm quit. Anything and everything helps
Avoid them for now. Take a couple months off from your nicotine using friends. Stop drinking for 100+ days too. Work out in the mean time.
As for your uncle. I just would not say shit. You don't know him well so what is the point?
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No you're right.
Well, me and my uncle haven't known each other all that long. Long story but basically met him at my grandpa's funeral.
He chewed, I smoked. I was trying to quit smoking because of my lungs, and I remember he said "smoking is for women, chew is for men" and i gave my cigs away, and went straight chew for a while.
I guess what I'm asking is should I tell him I'm quit? Should I tell him I'm using mint snuff?
I don't think he'd give a shit that I'm not chewing anymore. Guess I'm more worried about him giving me shit for using mint snuff. Like I'm trying to look like a dipper though I'm not.
He's a good guy, I just don't want it to come across that I'm preaching at him to quit. Or anything like that.
What do you guys do about people in your social circle who still use nicotine? Any tips, advice? Should I avoid them for now? Should I just telll them I'm quit. Anything and everything helps
Avoid them for now. Take a couple months off from your nicotine using friends. Stop drinking for 100+ days too. Work out in the mean time.
As for your uncle. I just would not say shit. You don't know him well so what is the point?
You're probably right. I mean I feel like I know him pretty well. I lived with him for almost a month when I moved to washington. and I don't have a lot of family up here but am close to him, but at the same time still getting to know each other. I would definitely try my hardest not to drink. I'm not a big going to the bars kind of guy, but like to have a beer with my girlfriend with dinner sometimes. No way in hell would she let me dip around her. Even the mint snuff grosses her out because it "looks like there's dirt" in my mouth, hahaha. I appreciate the advice there, brother
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I kind of messed up that quote on that last, post, haha.. You guys understand who said what though, I hope.
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Okay Kurt. Got yourself a day 2. Solid shit right there. Let's close out the trifecta and get you past the 72 hour mark of no nic. From there on out, its a mental battle bro. And you will not be alone in this battle. You put your word down each morning and you stick to your word. I don't care if you stuff mule cock in your pie hole, you do whatever it takes to keep your word. That means getting on the site. Asking for help if you need. We'll get you through. The key is knowing that folks are here to help. We love to help. Keeps folks focused on quitting and making changes and become the men and women we are suppose to be.
You can do this. I'm an addict. I figured it out. You will too. Let's fight.
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Okay Kurt. Got yourself a day 2. Solid shit right there. Let's close out the trifecta and get you past the 72 hour mark of no nic. From there on out, its a mental battle bro. And you will not be alone in this battle. You put your word down each morning and you stick to your word. I don't care if you stuff mule cock in your pie hole, you do whatever it takes to keep your word. That means getting on the site. Asking for help if you need. We'll get you through. The key is knowing that folks are here to help. We love to help. Keeps folks focused on quitting and making changes and become the men and women we are suppose to be.
You can do this. I'm an addict. I figured it out. You will too. Let's fight.
Good words of encouragement.
Just posted in the may 2012 prehof class.
Something like this.
Saturday around noon was when I spit out my last dip. So tomorrow afternoon will be my 72 hour mark.
Tomorrow will also be my first day at work nic free.
I always had a cigarette with my coffee. Love to throw a dip in while at work.
Any advice? tips?
I will definitely have my can of mint snuff.
Anything ideas or tips you got to make sure I dont lose it and go off on a coworker??
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Okay Kurt. Got yourself a day 2. Solid shit right there. Let's close out the trifecta and get you past the 72 hour mark of no nic. From there on out, its a mental battle bro. And you will not be alone in this battle. You put your word down each morning and you stick to your word. I don't care if you stuff mule cock in your pie hole, you do whatever it takes to keep your word. That means getting on the site. Asking for help if you need. We'll get you through. The key is knowing that folks are here to help. We love to help. Keeps folks focused on quitting and making changes and become the men and women we are suppose to be.
You can do this. I'm an addict. I figured it out. You will too. Let's fight.
Good words of encouragement.
Just posted in the may 2012 prehof class.
Something like this.
Saturday around noon was when I spit out my last dip. So tomorrow afternoon will be my 72 hour mark.
Tomorrow will also be my first day at work nic free.
I always had a cigarette with my coffee. Love to throw a dip in while at work.
Any advice? tips?
I will definitely have my can of mint snuff.
Anything ideas or tips you got to make sure I dont lose it and go off on a coworker??
Few things Kurt...
Change your patterns. Get a cup of coffee from a different spot tomorrow. Do it somewhere that you wouldn't or couldn't have any nicotine. That's what I did. I changed up my patterns. Everything. Fucked with my head so my craves were forced to deal with new situations and thoughts. Made it harder and harder for them to get a hold of me. I set the framework. Not the craves.
Rage. That's the real fucker. You getting any exercise? A tired body puts a man's soul at rest. Some old chain gang mentality. You feel the rage coming on you go for a walk. You find some stairs. You find a tranny clown and kick the shit of him...her...whatever. You can always get on the site and start yelling at me. I just love to cuss Kurt. I would love to cuss at the nic bitch with ya anytime. It helps me sleep peaceful.
Get yourself something to pacify with during the day. I'm a big red fan. The tingle gives my lip the feel it wants.
You got numbers Kurt? Get some numbers of folks in your group. If things get tough, you got to know that you can reach out and someone will fight with you.
We'll get this done bro.
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Okay Kurt. Got yourself a day 2. Solid shit right there. Let's close out the trifecta and get you past the 72 hour mark of no nic. From there on out, its a mental battle bro. And you will not be alone in this battle. You put your word down each morning and you stick to your word. I don't care if you stuff mule cock in your pie hole, you do whatever it takes to keep your word. That means getting on the site. Asking for help if you need. We'll get you through. The key is knowing that folks are here to help. We love to help. Keeps folks focused on quitting and making changes and become the men and women we are suppose to be.
You can do this. I'm an addict. I figured it out. You will too. Let's fight.
Good words of encouragement.
Just posted in the may 2012 prehof class.
Something like this.
Saturday around noon was when I spit out my last dip. So tomorrow afternoon will be my 72 hour mark.
Tomorrow will also be my first day at work nic free.
I always had a cigarette with my coffee. Love to throw a dip in while at work.
Any advice? tips?
I will definitely have my can of mint snuff.
Anything ideas or tips you got to make sure I dont lose it and go off on a coworker??
Few things Kurt...
Change your patterns. Get a cup of coffee from a different spot tomorrow. Do it somewhere that you wouldn't or couldn't have any nicotine. That's what I did. I changed up my patterns. Everything. Fucked with my head so my craves were forced to deal with new situations and thoughts. Made it harder and harder for them to get a hold of me. I set the framework. Not the craves.
Rage. That's the real fucker. You getting any exercise? A tired body puts a man's soul at rest. Some old chain gang mentality. You feel the rage coming on you go for a walk. You find some stairs. You find a tranny clown and kick the shit of him...her...whatever. You can always get on the site and start yelling at me. I just love to cuss Kurt. I would love to cuss at the nic bitch with ya anytime. It helps me sleep peaceful.
Get yourself something to pacify with during the day. I'm a big red fan. The tingle gives my lip the feel it wants.
You got numbers Kurt? Get some numbers of folks in your group. If things get tough, you got to know that you can reach out and someone will fight with you.
We'll get this done bro.
I've got a number, and have been pming another guy in my prehof class. Both are within a day or 2 of the same quit date.
I always make my coffee at home. Today I really enjoyed my coffee with a mint snuff. I suppose I'll just do that tomorrow. Hope for the best.
Fortunately my work is usually physical which may tire me or may give me dip rage. Either way, I'm going to embrace the suck. And before that, I'm gonna post roll, and keep my word. Tomorrow is a no nicotine day for me.
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Okay Kurt. Got yourself a day 2. Solid shit right there. Let's close out the trifecta and get you past the 72 hour mark of no nic. From there on out, its a mental battle bro. And you will not be alone in this battle. You put your word down each morning and you stick to your word. I don't care if you stuff mule cock in your pie hole, you do whatever it takes to keep your word. That means getting on the site. Asking for help if you need. We'll get you through. The key is knowing that folks are here to help. We love to help. Keeps folks focused on quitting and making changes and become the men and women we are suppose to be.
You can do this. I'm an addict. I figured it out. You will too. Let's fight.
Good words of encouragement.
Just posted in the may 2012 prehof class.
Something like this.
Saturday around noon was when I spit out my last dip. So tomorrow afternoon will be my 72 hour mark.
Tomorrow will also be my first day at work nic free.
I always had a cigarette with my coffee. Love to throw a dip in while at work.
Any advice? tips?
I will definitely have my can of mint snuff.
Anything ideas or tips you got to make sure I dont lose it and go off on a coworker??
Few things Kurt...
Change your patterns. Get a cup of coffee from a different spot tomorrow. Do it somewhere that you wouldn't or couldn't have any nicotine. That's what I did. I changed up my patterns. Everything. Fucked with my head so my craves were forced to deal with new situations and thoughts. Made it harder and harder for them to get a hold of me. I set the framework. Not the craves.
Rage. That's the real fucker. You getting any exercise? A tired body puts a man's soul at rest. Some old chain gang mentality. You feel the rage coming on you go for a walk. You find some stairs. You find a tranny clown and kick the shit of him...her...whatever. You can always get on the site and start yelling at me. I just love to cuss Kurt. I would love to cuss at the nic bitch with ya anytime. It helps me sleep peaceful.
Get yourself something to pacify with during the day. I'm a big red fan. The tingle gives my lip the feel it wants.
You got numbers Kurt? Get some numbers of folks in your group. If things get tough, you got to know that you can reach out and someone will fight with you.
We'll get this done bro.
I've got a number, and have been pming another guy in my prehof class. Both are within a day or 2 of the same quit date.
I always make my coffee at home. Today I really enjoyed my coffee with a mint snuff. I suppose I'll just do that tomorrow. Hope for the best.
Fortunately my work is usually physical which may tire me or may give me dip rage. Either way, I'm going to embrace the suck. And before that, I'm gonna post roll, and keep my word. Tomorrow is a no nicotine day for me.
Kurt, I'm going to be honest with you. You're scaring me. I want you off of this shit, but you are being too timid with it. I will absolutely NOT "HOPE FOR THE BEST" and neither should you. You will not hope, you will not try, you will not give it your best, you will fucking quit.
Souliman is giving you gold, and he has your back. Asking questions is what you're supposed to be doing, don't get me wrong. I just feel like you're suggestable. Your uncle told you that smoking was for women, and dip is for men, so you started dipping? Well, let me put some suggestions in your ear.
Being timid is for women. I want to hear some anger Kurt. I want to know that you're going to commit to this. I want you so pissed off at nicotine that you would rip your own guts out and eat them, then...POLITELY goddamit... ask for seconds.
I want to know why you are going to (notice I said "are going to" not "want") to stay quit. This is a decision that YOU made on YOUR OWN. And you should be proud of it!
This is NOT EASY. As you well know by now. But look man, this first 72 hours is not the end of it, not by a long shot. You need to be strong in your convition to do this, and frankly, I'm not hearing it.
I better fucking not come back to this thread and see Dippshit has written a BIG RED "FAIL" on it. Let me see your conviction Kurt! Right now man!
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Moondawg I appreciate all of your words.
I'll first say my uncle didnt get me to start dipping, he just got me to go back to it.
So my first day back to work without any nicotine and also day 3 (which everyone says is the hardest if not day 1).
Let me just say, I know what this fucking DIP RAGE is that everyone is talking about.
But I did not cave. Caving wasn't an option. I posted roll and gave my word I would not use nicotine today. My dad told me when I was growing up a man who can't keep his word aint worth shit.
So I posted and I've kept my promise to all of you guys.
Tomorrow I will post again.
Today at work I wanted to scream I wanted to punch somebody. I almost lost it on this russian guy I work with. We have a language barrier and despite correcting him 30 times he still calls me Karl (sometimes it sounds like curl).
I didn't lose my cool though. I'd say I gotta go to the john or something and once out of earshot let out a nice loud FUCK YOU BITCH!
Fuck you nic bitch!
I will never give you another dime of my hard earned money! Never again will i be a slave to cigarettes or chew!
I work too fucking hard to just blow that money on some shit to put in my lips.
I thought about this forum all the advice i got from all over here. When things got rough I threw a mint snuff in my mouth.
Some things I've noticed about cravings though. I'm getting cravings for flavors I didn't even like. Never was a big skoal apple fan but for some reason today skoal apple was all I could think about. Maybe I should go get some apple rings or green jolly ranchers, haha.
But no way am I gonna cave today.
Other weird thing. Despire NEVER using nicorette gum or patches I had a dream that I found some in my house and caved on a piece of nic gum. WEIRD.
So guys, I kept my word today. Tomorrow I will post and I will keep my word to myself and to use guys to not give in to the nic bitch.
At least day 3 is almost over.
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Moondawg I appreciate all of your words.
I'll first say my uncle didnt get me to start dipping, he just got me to go back to it.
So my first day back to work without any nicotine and also day 3 (which everyone says is the hardest if not day 1).
Let me just say, I know what this fucking DIP RAGE is that everyone is talking about.
But I did not cave. Caving wasn't an option. I posted roll and gave my word I would not use nicotine today. My dad told me when I was growing up a man who can't keep his word aint worth shit.
So I posted and I've kept my promise to all of you guys.
Tomorrow I will post again.
Today at work I wanted to scream I wanted to punch somebody. I almost lost it on this russian guy I work with. We have a language barrier and despite correcting him 30 times he still calls me Karl (sometimes it sounds like curl).
I didn't lose my cool though. I'd say I gotta go to the john or something and once out of earshot let out a nice loud FUCK YOU BITCH!
Fuck you nic bitch!
I will never give you another dime of my hard earned money! Never again will i be a slave to cigarettes or chew!
I work too fucking hard to just blow that money on some shit to put in my lips.
I thought about this forum all the advice i got from all over here. When things got rough I threw a mint snuff in my mouth.
Some things I've noticed about cravings though. I'm getting cravings for flavors I didn't even like. Never was a big skoal apple fan but for some reason today skoal apple was all I could think about. Maybe I should go get some apple rings or green jolly ranchers, haha.
But no way am I gonna cave today.
Other weird thing. Despire NEVER using nicorette gum or patches I had a dream that I found some in my house and caved on a piece of nic gum. WEIRD.
So guys, I kept my word today. Tomorrow I will post and I will keep my word to myself and to use guys to not give in to the nic bitch.
At least day 3 is almost over.
Good for you man, get jolly ranchers, life savers, fire balls, anything that you think might get you through a crave. Just do not even think about caving. You do not and will not get our approval. Keep up with that strong quit. If you need to rage a bit, they have some guys on here that can take it. I am not sure Russian dudes who can't speak English to well, would understand what you are saying anyway.
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I am quitting hard. Not another cent to tobacco for a shitty product that will rot and stain my teeth, some day take my teeth, take my jaw.
Today I am quit. Tomorrow I will post roll and be quit. I have 6 cans of different flavored mint snuff in the mail and still have about half a can of my spearmint snuff. If that can runs out though I'm 90% sure that walmart carries smokey mountain here, and maybe 50% sure that fred meyers has the oregon mint snuff I like.
Everyone seems to give a thumbs up on the Smokey Mountain chew.
Favorite flavors anybody?
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Moondawg I appreciate all of your words.
I'll first say my uncle didnt get me to start dipping, he just got me to go back to it.
So my first day back to work without any nicotine and also day 3 (which everyone says is the hardest if not day 1).
Let me just say, I know what this fucking DIP RAGE is that everyone is talking about.
But I did not cave. Caving wasn't an option. I posted roll and gave my word I would not use nicotine today. My dad told me when I was growing up a man who can't keep his word aint worth shit.
So I posted and I've kept my promise to all of you guys.
Tomorrow I will post again.
Today at work I wanted to scream I wanted to punch somebody. I almost lost it on this russian guy I work with. We have a language barrier and despite correcting him 30 times he still calls me Karl (sometimes it sounds like curl).
I didn't lose my cool though. I'd say I gotta go to the john or something and once out of earshot let out a nice loud FUCK YOU BITCH!
Fuck you nic bitch!
I will never give you another dime of my hard earned money! Never again will i be a slave to cigarettes or chew!
I work too fucking hard to just blow that money on some shit to put in my lips.
I thought about this forum all the advice i got from all over here. When things got rough I threw a mint snuff in my mouth.
Some things I've noticed about cravings though. I'm getting cravings for flavors I didn't even like. Never was a big skoal apple fan but for some reason today skoal apple was all I could think about. Maybe I should go get some apple rings or green jolly ranchers, haha.
But no way am I gonna cave today.
Other weird thing. Despire NEVER using nicorette gum or patches I had a dream that I found some in my house and caved on a piece of nic gum. WEIRD.
So guys, I kept my word today. Tomorrow I will post and I will keep my word to myself and to use guys to not give in to the nic bitch.
At least day 3 is almost over.
Good for you man, get jolly ranchers, life savers, fire balls, anything that you think might get you through a crave. Just do not even think about caving. You do not and will not get our approval. Keep up with that strong quit. If you need to rage a bit, they have some guys on here that can take it. I am not sure Russian dudes who can't speak English to well, would understand what you are saying anyway.
Willpower Kurt! That's what I heard from that post.
Don't worry about tomorrow. Just finish out today.
You're doing great.
Don't fuck with Russians. That's probably a bad idea. I'm strictly basing this on Rocky 4. I base all my advice on Rocky 4. So don't fuck with Russians, and rub baby oil on yourself if you want to look buff.
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Moondawg I appreciate all of your words.
I'll first say my uncle didnt get me to start dipping, he just got me to go back to it.
So my first day back to work without any nicotine and also day 3 (which everyone says is the hardest if not day 1).
Let me just say, I know what this fucking DIP RAGE is that everyone is talking about.
But I did not cave. Caving wasn't an option. I posted roll and gave my word I would not use nicotine today. My dad told me when I was growing up a man who can't keep his word aint worth shit.
So I posted and I've kept my promise to all of you guys.
Tomorrow I will post again.
Today at work I wanted to scream I wanted to punch somebody. I almost lost it on this russian guy I work with. We have a language barrier and despite correcting him 30 times he still calls me Karl (sometimes it sounds like curl).
I didn't lose my cool though. I'd say I gotta go to the john or something and once out of earshot let out a nice loud FUCK YOU BITCH!
Fuck you nic bitch!
I will never give you another dime of my hard earned money! Never again will i be a slave to cigarettes or chew!
I work too fucking hard to just blow that money on some shit to put in my lips.
I thought about this forum all the advice i got from all over here. When things got rough I threw a mint snuff in my mouth.
Some things I've noticed about cravings though. I'm getting cravings for flavors I didn't even like. Never was a big skoal apple fan but for some reason today skoal apple was all I could think about. Maybe I should go get some apple rings or green jolly ranchers, haha.
But no way am I gonna cave today.
Other weird thing. Despire NEVER using nicorette gum or patches I had a dream that I found some in my house and caved on a piece of nic gum. WEIRD.
So guys, I kept my word today. Tomorrow I will post and I will keep my word to myself and to use guys to not give in to the nic bitch.
At least day 3 is almost over.
Good for you man, get jolly ranchers, life savers, fire balls, anything that you think might get you through a crave. Just do not even think about caving. You do not and will not get our approval. Keep up with that strong quit. If you need to rage a bit, they have some guys on here that can take it. I am not sure Russian dudes who can't speak English to well, would understand what you are saying anyway.
Willpower Kurt! That's what I heard from that post.
Don't worry about tomorrow. Just finish out today.
You're doing great.
Don't fuck with Russians. That's probably a bad idea. I'm strictly basing this on Rocky 4. I base all my advice on Rocky 4. So don't fuck with Russians, and rub baby oil on yourself if you want to look buff.
That's some advice to live by. baing all advice off of rocky 4. Rocky 4 and rocky were the best. Thought rocky 3 had mr T in it.
Almost through today. Spoiled myself with arbys and mozzarella sticks for dinner, haha:]
Tomorrow I'm posting roll, and I've got (at least) one brother who will be texting (or calling if I dont respond to that) if he doesn't see my name on roll.
One day at a time. Today I am quit.
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Moondawg I appreciate all of your words.
I'll first say my uncle didnt get me to start dipping, he just got me to go back to it.
So my first day back to work without any nicotine and also day 3 (which everyone says is the hardest if not day 1).
Let me just say, I know what this fucking DIP RAGE is that everyone is talking about.
But I did not cave. Caving wasn't an option. I posted roll and gave my word I would not use nicotine today. My dad told me when I was growing up a man who can't keep his word aint worth shit.
So I posted and I've kept my promise to all of you guys.
Tomorrow I will post again.
Today at work I wanted to scream I wanted to punch somebody. I almost lost it on this russian guy I work with. We have a language barrier and despite correcting him 30 times he still calls me Karl (sometimes it sounds like curl).
I didn't lose my cool though. I'd say I gotta go to the john or something and once out of earshot let out a nice loud FUCK YOU BITCH!
Fuck you nic bitch!
I will never give you another dime of my hard earned money! Never again will i be a slave to cigarettes or chew!
I work too fucking hard to just blow that money on some shit to put in my lips.
I thought about this forum all the advice i got from all over here. When things got rough I threw a mint snuff in my mouth.
Some things I've noticed about cravings though. I'm getting cravings for flavors I didn't even like. Never was a big skoal apple fan but for some reason today skoal apple was all I could think about. Maybe I should go get some apple rings or green jolly ranchers, haha.
But no way am I gonna cave today.
Other weird thing. Despire NEVER using nicorette gum or patches I had a dream that I found some in my house and caved on a piece of nic gum. WEIRD.
So guys, I kept my word today. Tomorrow I will post and I will keep my word to myself and to use guys to not give in to the nic bitch.
At least day 3 is almost over.
Good for you man, get jolly ranchers, life savers, fire balls, anything that you think might get you through a crave. Just do not even think about caving. You do not and will not get our approval. Keep up with that strong quit. If you need to rage a bit, they have some guys on here that can take it. I am not sure Russian dudes who can't speak English to well, would understand what you are saying anyway.
Willpower Kurt! That's what I heard from that post.
Don't worry about tomorrow. Just finish out today.
You're doing great.
Don't fuck with Russians. That's probably a bad idea. I'm strictly basing this on Rocky 4. I base all my advice on Rocky 4. So don't fuck with Russians, and rub baby oil on yourself if you want to look buff.
That's some advice to live by. baing all advice off of rocky 4. Rocky 4 and rocky were the best. Thought rocky 3 had mr T in it.
Almost through today. Spoiled myself with arbys and mozzarella sticks for dinner, haha:]
Tomorrow I'm posting roll, and I've got (at least) one brother who will be texting (or calling if I dont respond to that) if he doesn't see my name on roll.
One day at a time. Today I am quit.
No joke, I quit 1 month almost to the day before you did. I quit on Jan 20th, and since then I have gained a little over 10 pounds. I have been DEFILING my body with food. But look, we'll have a lot of time to drop weight after we get a hold of this shit.
We can travel to Russia together, and run up mountains with ox yokes on our backs, and lift big pieces of wood with even bigger pieces of rock attached to them.
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Day 4
Working in the shop most of the day besides when I had to drive my truck to the fastenal store, the powder coating shop, and to do a quick install. I was having a really tough time concentrating over the chop saw whenever I had to do angled cuts. That damn fuckin nic bitch cunt was trying to whisper in my ear. My shop is very loud, a lot of saws, grinders and welders making noise and I audibly told that nic bitch to FUCK OFF because I'm not using her today. Shoved a fake dip in my mouth and kept on trucking. Even found a nice groove by the end of the day. Looking forward to dinner. Pizza?
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way to go.....do not give her a chance.....quit hard!
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One thing I noticed today. There's an awful lot of country songs that mention dip or cigarettes.
Temptation is everywhere. Even a giant fucking DRIVE THROUGH TOBACCO SHOP sign on the side of I-5
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Seems like you care what people think to much Kurt. Just remember, you are doing this for YOURSELF. Fuck your uncle who thinks he a real man cause he DIPS!!! Fuck your little bitch girlfriend who doesnt like your mint snuff either.
Don't make this quit about trying to please the people around you or you will never make it.
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Seems like you care what people think to much Kurt. Just remember, you are doing this for YOURSELF. Fuck your uncle who thinks he a real man cause he DIPS!!! Fuck your little bitch girlfriend who doesnt like your mint snuff either.
Don't make this quit about trying to please the people around you or you will never make it.
My bitch girlfriend said to me after going down on me "Have you been eating a lot of mint lately?"
Me: "Yeah, the mint snuff, why?"
Tiff: "Your jizz tastes minty"
hahaha, that's a WIN in my book.
A few days after I quit smoking cigarettes she said my jizz tasted better too.
Sorry if that offended anybody. I hope someone swallows your nicotine free load soon.
Spearmint snuff from the oregon mint snuff company should help with that.
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You are winning.
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Seems like you care what people think to much Kurt. Just remember, you are doing this for YOURSELF. Fuck your uncle who thinks he a real man cause he DIPS!!! Fuck your little bitch girlfriend who doesnt like your mint snuff either.
Don't make this quit about trying to please the people around you or you will never make it.
My bitch girlfriend said to me after going down on me "Have you been eating a lot of mint lately?"
Me: "Yeah, the mint snuff, why?"
Tiff: "Your jizz tastes minty"
hahaha, that's a WIN in my book.
A few days after I quit smoking cigarettes she said my jizz tasted better too.
Sorry if that offended anybody. I hope someone swallows your nicotine free load soon.
Spearmint snuff from the oregon mint snuff company should help with that.
That is some funny shit right there......good thing you haven't been eating a bunch of asparagus.
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Seems like you care what people think to much Kurt. Just remember, you are doing this for YOURSELF. Fuck your uncle who thinks he a real man cause he DIPS!!! Fuck your little bitch girlfriend who doesnt like your mint snuff either.
Don't make this quit about trying to please the people around you or you will never make it.
My bitch girlfriend said to me after going down on me "Have you been eating a lot of mint lately?"
Me: "Yeah, the mint snuff, why?"
Tiff: "Your jizz tastes minty"
hahaha, that's a WIN in my book.
A few days after I quit smoking cigarettes she said my jizz tasted better too.
Sorry if that offended anybody. I hope someone swallows your nicotine free load soon.
Spearmint snuff from the oregon mint snuff company should help with that.
That is some funny shit right there......good thing you haven't been eating a bunch of asparagus.
Seriously, whenever I get down on my quit. Feel like caving. I just think about the mint jizz. I'm not doing it for the girlfriend. I'm doing it for me. Because I like getting blowjobs. So I am a selfish mother fucker. Who is quitting just to get more blowjobs.
And to stop blowing my hard earned money on a product that will one day kill me.
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I'm gonna vent real quick. My girlfriend, Tiffany IS a bitch! She always tells me not to wear camoflauge when we're gonna go out in public or that I need to shave my beard (no fucking way, it keeps my face warm, bitch).
All my jeans are dirty, so I'm wearing camo pants to papa murphys, bitch!
Won't be on for a little bit. I'll be chowing down on pizza
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I'm gonna vent real quick. My girlfriend, Tiffany IS a bitch! She always tells me not to wear camoflauge when we're gonna go out in public or that I need to shave my beard (no fucking way, it keeps my face warm, bitch).
All my jeans are dirty, so I'm wearing camo pants to papa murphys, bitch!
Won't be on for a little bit. I'll be chowing down on pizza
Dude if your girlfriend is throwing out the blowjobs wear whatever she tells you to.
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I'm gonna vent real quick. My girlfriend, Tiffany IS a bitch! She always tells me not to wear camoflauge when we're gonna go out in public or that I need to shave my beard (no fucking way, it keeps my face warm, bitch).
All my jeans are dirty, so I'm wearing camo pants to papa murphys, bitch!
Won't be on for a little bit. I'll be chowing down on pizza
Dude if your girlfriend is throwing out the blowjobs wear whatever she tells you to.
Most days I do.
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Day 5
So I've been having some reflections on my addiction.
For those of you that know me you probably know that most of my nicotine addiction has been inhaled from cancer sticks and that I didn't start dipping until relatively recently (within the last 2-3 years).
I remember when I was a kid I loved the smell of cigarettes. Now I can't fucking stand it. But to me it was like incense almost. I also loved the smell of coffee and I loved the smell of the gas station and liked to watch dad pumping gas.
I had my first cigarette when I was 15. I was in a punk band and everyone smoked. I would smoke weed with them but never smoked cigarettes would decline when they offer. They never pushed it on me. I was having a bad day with a girlfriend at the time. I won't go into too much detail. Also looking back she was the dumbest reason to have my first cigarette. She's a whore and she now has 2 kids at the age of 24 and had the first one when was like 16 or 17.
My "good" friend Ricky who was a couple years odler than me said hey man have a smoke I'm telling you it will relax you. It did. It made me feel great I won't lie. I felt energized and was like "fuck that bitch!" I'm gonna rock out.
I don't have many regrets. My only regret is smoking that first cigarette. I would love to go back in time and punch myself in the gut then.
I feel bad for lying to my parents especially to my mom about smoking. I thought I could fool her keep it a secret. I was such an idiot.
My next regret is the first dip I had. I was 19 and we were backpacking in Yosemite. I left all my cigarettes in the car. I refused to smoke in Yosemite even chewed out a guy on the trip for smoking on the trail. Well I don't think it was the first night I think it was the second night a guy had some berry flavored pouches. Must have been skoal. Everyone was dipping, and I was having a nic fit. So I said, hey let me try one of those fuckin things, how does it work what do i do.
Pretty simple shit. I didn't hate the burn. I liked the tingle. The flavor, not to crazy about. But I remember saying, I get why people like this shit. Then someone said "Be sure not to swallow the juices or you'll yack"
I didn't yack. I also didn't dip again til I was 21 and was working construction.
One of my other fond memories of dip was dipping with my now deceased grandfather. He was from Montana lived there until he was 73 and brought grandma down to california so my dad and stepmom could watch after her. He had an apartment in San Jose and I moved in with him to help him out. He was kind of crippled. Couldn't get around without his crutch.
He would NEVER buy a can of dip. But he'd always ask me if I had a can on me. I did. I'd come home from a long day of work, I'd throw my can at him. I'd grab us each a beer and he'd take a pinch and I'd take a pinch and we would watch bonanza, drink beer and dip. It was great. I love my grandpa and those were some great fucking times. I loved hearing all his old stories about being a farm kid and times he'd yell at my dad and my uncles and how he'd regret losing his temper sometimes and being too hard on the boys.
He was a one of a kind guy.
I don't miss throwing up peach skoal because it tasted so damn sweet that I'd swallow that shit. I don't miss losing 15 pounds (I'm skinny to begin with) and my foreman who also chewed telling me "You need to not chew so much, you look skinnier and you look pale"
I don't miss spending my hard earned cash on chew and on cigarettes.
I don't miss talking to Ahkmed Ali at the 711, "No up, no right, no not fucking berry skoal, I want copenhagen green, yes that one!"
I don't miss the spit bottles in my truck. I don't miss my truck smelling like cigarettes.
One thing I kind of regret that I didn't think of til this site was those stupid f ucking e-cigarettes. On this site I realized how we have to kill the nic addiction. We never kill it but we can't indulge in it. Nic gum is harmless but it keeps the nic addiction alive. You keep feeding the addiction and one day the gum won't do it and you'll have to dip.
Back to ecigarettes. Well last year at 711 I'd seen these ecigarettes. They came in light, regular, menthol. Even had a nic free ehookah kind (that tasted like shit).
I remember smoking those, and it came with 10 cartidges. Each cartidge was equivalent to a pack of smokes. I went from having 3-6 cigarettes a day, to smoking an entire ecartidge a day. So I was giving myself A LOT more nicotine. I was smoking a pack a day now. And one day I accidentally dropped my ecigarette in the toilet. It was in my flannel pocket or something.
I decided it was stupid and I'd go back to dipping I'd go back to smoking cigarettes.
So those ecigarettes were a stupid idea. It raised my nicotine addiction to another level.
day 5 nic free. I'm feeling better. Still foggy. Head still hurts. Still irritable and snapping on people. But I'm nic free. I'm not scrapping together change to go to the cancer store. I'm not bumming smokes, bumming chews. I'm going throug the SUCK but at least I'm nicotine free.
I doubt anyone will read this novellette on my nicotine addiction. Maybe someone will. This was for me, not anyone else. Just like I'm on this site, I am quit for me and nobody else.
Time for more pizza, more coffee and a mint snuff fake dip in my lip.
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Good shit, Kurt. Liked the part about your grandfather. Mine used to do Red Man, he passed away before I was old enough to join him. Looking back, my whole family and hell, our whole American culture is a culture of nicotine. My parents smoked (mom still does, like a smokestack), my brothers dipped, grandpa plugged, I went into the USAF where they teach you to drink, cuss, and smoke.
Here I am, 20 years later, five days quit and counting. I never really even though about life without nicotine until recently -- didn't even think it was possible. You know, been doing it for so long and it's such a part of the routine.
No more. Let's roll.
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Today is my 5th day of being quit too.
It is a culture of nicotine. I'm lucky that neither of my parents smoked or dipped but the nic bitch still got a hold of me.
I added the part about my grandpa because there were some times with dip that I really enjoyed. But it wasn't real. I could've just watched bonanza with grandpa without a dip in my lip. But that was the way it happened.
This site has been so instrumental in my quit. 5 days without nicotine. That doesn't sound like much but thats something I haven't done since high school.
Stay quit, brother!
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Kurt you got yourself a good quit going. Only thing is I don't want to read about fond memories of finger banging the nic bitch. That shit was trying to kill you daily. That's not some memory of you under the bleachers with the prom queen...that's a fucking poison being sold to you while someone else makes a profit. I'm not being a dick. I just think one of the important things is get the words right in your mind. And we don't want other folks going down that path starting to romanticize it and shit.
I may sound like a lunatic. I want to assure you I am. I firmly believe that scrutinizing the words you put down here...I mean really thinking about them...can solidify a path away from being a using addict.
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Kurt you got yourself a good quit going. Only thing is I don't want to read about fond memories of finger banging the nic bitch. That shit was trying to kill you daily. That's not some memory of you under the bleachers with the prom queen...that's a fucking poison being sold to you while someone else makes a profit. I'm not being a dick. I just think one of the important things is get the words right in your mind. And we don't want other folks going down that path starting to romanticize it and shit.
I may sound like a lunatic. I want to assure you I am. I firmly believe that scrutinizing the words you put down here...I mean really thinking about them...can solidify a path away from being a using addict.
No, I know and I wasn't trying to romanticize the shit and I knew very well that as soon as I wrote it that a vet would come down hard on me.
I was just doing a sincere reflection. The good and the bad. Being honest.
I am quit today and tomorrow I will post roll. I'm sure you noticed too how right after I wrote that I balanced it with mentioning how I don't miss throwing up peach skoal. After that day I couldn't dip peach at all and had a hard time diping skoal for that matter. I think thats when I went to copenhagen.
It was kind of a word vomit that post. I didn't know my grandpa too well as a kid. Would just seem him every 2 or 3 summers when we would road trip to montana in my dad's dodge 3500 15 seater van. My grandpa was a great guy and I think chew had a bit to do with his death. My other grandpa who died on the same day last year died from smoking cigarettes.
They stole time from me. I can't forgive them for that. But what I can do is make sure I don't steal time from anyone else in my family that would miss me.
I appreciate you keeping me in check Souliman. I just had to write it. I won't be romanticizing the shit ever again.
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Kurt you got yourself a good quit going. Only thing is I don't want to read about fond memories of finger banging the nic bitch. That shit was trying to kill you daily. That's not some memory of you under the bleachers with the prom queen...that's a fucking poison being sold to you while someone else makes a profit. I'm not being a dick. I just think one of the important things is get the words right in your mind. And we don't want other folks going down that path starting to romanticize it and shit.
I may sound like a lunatic. I want to assure you I am. I firmly believe that scrutinizing the words you put down here...I mean really thinking about them...can solidify a path away from being a using addict.
No, I know and I wasn't trying to romanticize the shit and I knew very well that as soon as I wrote it that a vet would come down hard on me.
I was just doing a sincere reflection. The good and the bad. Being honest.
I am quit today and tomorrow I will post roll. I'm sure you noticed too how right after I wrote that I balanced it with mentioning how I don't miss throwing up peach skoal. After that day I couldn't dip peach at all and had a hard time diping skoal for that matter. I think thats when I went to copenhagen.
It was kind of a word vomit that post. I didn't know my grandpa too well as a kid. Would just seem him every 2 or 3 summers when we would road trip to montana in my dad's dodge 3500 15 seater van. My grandpa was a great guy and I think chew had a bit to do with his death. My other grandpa who died on the same day last year died from smoking cigarettes.
They stole time from me. I can't forgive them for that. But what I can do is make sure I don't steal time from anyone else in my family that would miss me.
I appreciate you keeping me in check Souliman. I just had to write it. I won't be romanticizing the shit ever again.
I got your back bro. Just like a few thousand other bad asses around this place.
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One thing I've learned my f irst few days on here.
You really have to watch what you say.
Or a vet will come down on you.
Or you will be called gay.
Either way.
Watch what you say.
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And Souliman keep posting on here and responding to what I write. If nobody ever responded I'd feel like I'm talking to myself or like wtf is the point of this? So it helps!
Also I'm about to get off here, and go for a hike with the girlfriend. I'll be on later I'm sure.
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Kurt you got yourself a good quit going. Only thing is I don't want to read about fond memories of finger banging the nic bitch. That shit was trying to kill you daily. That's not some memory of you under the bleachers with the prom queen...that's a fucking poison being sold to you while someone else makes a profit. I'm not being a dick. I just think one of the important things is get the words right in your mind. And we don't want other folks going down that path starting to romanticize it and shit.
I may sound like a lunatic. I want to assure you I am. I firmly believe that scrutinizing the words you put down here...I mean really thinking about them...can solidify a path away from being a using addict.
No, I know and I wasn't trying to romanticize the shit and I knew very well that as soon as I wrote it that a vet would come down hard on me.
I was just doing a sincere reflection. The good and the bad. Being honest.
I am quit today and tomorrow I will post roll. I'm sure you noticed too how right after I wrote that I balanced it with mentioning how I don't miss throwing up peach skoal. After that day I couldn't dip peach at all and had a hard time diping skoal for that matter. I think thats when I went to copenhagen.
It was kind of a word vomit that post. I didn't know my grandpa too well as a kid. Would just seem him every 2 or 3 summers when we would road trip to montana in my dad's dodge 3500 15 seater van. My grandpa was a great guy and I think chew had a bit to do with his death. My other grandpa who died on the same day last year died from smoking cigarettes.
They stole time from me. I can't forgive them for that. But what I can do is make sure I don't steal time from anyone else in my family that would miss me.
I appreciate you keeping me in check Souliman. I just had to write it. I won't be romanticizing the shit ever again.
I got your back bro. Just like a few thousand other bad asses around this place.
And I wont call you Gay .... Douchebag ~ :P
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Had a fucking feast at Bob's Burgers and Brews tonight.
Split a pitcher of budlight with the girl friend. By split I mean I poured her a glass and drank the rest out of the pitcher (not really, but I was waiting for 45 mins after finishing eating for her to finish her beer).
Normally (before being quit) I would eat a burger and have no room for fries. Tonight I ate my burger (in record time) finished all my fries, ate some of the gf's fries, ate a stick of celery and an orange wedge. And of course a pitcher of beer (minus a glass for the lady).
I love being quit.
Oh ya, and when I was in the bathroom some guy had spilt his dip all around the sink. Probably some drunk guy from the bar.
Temptations and reminders are everywhere.
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Smoking is what got me hooked, too, Kurt. I'd fucked around with both cigarettes and chewing tobacco since I was 10 or 11, because I was curious and wanted to be awesome and a trendsetter, and because setting trends that are wholesome (like Eagle Scouting or doing homework) was for crybabies and boys who could do perfect cartwheels.
Up until I was just about 16, nicotine's barbs hadn't penetrated me. But I distinctly remember making the shift. Camel Lights. Easy to inhale. Joy and intoxication ensued. Fun was had by all.
I smoked, mainly, until I was 19ish. Then dipped for several years. Then smoked again in my mid-20s. Then back to dip. And so on.
It didn't stop until March 2009. That's when I ripped the hooks out of my skin. The wounds are still there. Or, I should say, the scars.
You're at a place right now where the wounds are open and raw, Kurt. Dig me? You're going to have to pay attention to them. Take care of them. Let them heal. Once they scar over, they'll always feel weird. ALWAYS. But you won't pay them much mind. They'll only bother you if you fuck around with them and tear them open again. That's a cave. That's fucking yourself.
And that's the best way I can describe things.
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Smoking is what got me hooked, too, Kurt. I'd fucked around with both cigarettes and chewing tobacco since I was 10 or 11, because I was curious and wanted to be awesome and a trendsetter, and because setting trends that are wholesome (like Eagle Scouting or doing homework) was for crybabies and boys who could do perfect cartwheels.
Up until I was just about 16, nicotine's barbs hadn't penetrated me. But I distinctly remember making the shift. Camel Lights. Easy to inhale. Joy and intoxication ensued. Fun was had by all.
I smoked, mainly, until I was 19ish. Then dipped for several years. Then smoked again in my mid-20s. Then back to dip. And so on.
It didn't stop until March 2009. That's when I ripped the hooks out of my skin. The wounds are still there. Or, I should say, the scars.
You're at a place right now where the wounds are open and raw, Kurt. Dig me? You're going to have to pay attention to them. Take care of them. Let them heal. Once they scar over, they'll always feel weird. ALWAYS. But you won't pay them much mind. They'll only bother you if you fuck around with them and tear them open again. That's a cave. That's fucking yourself.
And that's the best way I can describe things.
Deanthecunt, I appreciate your words. Also I am honored that you have graced my thread with your presence.
Not to sound super ghey, but I found your thread and was laughing at your shit.
I decided to go to the first page, and read your entire thread. It took me about 2 days (obviously not 48 hours, I have to work and sleep and fuck my girlfriend)
But you and SWJ have some funny shit in there. Now I'm reading SWJ's page.
Good shit, man. Once again I appreciate your words
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day 6 bro.....day f-ing 6!
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day 6 bro.....day f-ing 6!
And it's almost over here on the west coast!
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You're at a place right now where the wounds are open and raw, Kurt. Dig me? You're going to have to pay attention to them. Take care of them. Let them heal. Once they scar over, they'll always feel weird. ALWAYS. But you won't pay them much mind. They'll only bother you if you fuck around with them and tear them open again. That's a cave. That's fucking yourself.
Jesus Dean that's a perfect analogy. Well put.
PS. I by no means was insinuating that Dean is Jesus with that comment. Dean...please don't be offended.
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License Plates
California
Now I'm from California so I can talk shit about it.
First of all what is up with the gay cursive writing.
It screams Fag Francisco all over it.
Like some gay fairy saying in a flamboyant voice "Hey everyone! Come to California"
The golden state should have something bad ass for it's license plates. Like John Muir giving the middle finger to the O'Shaugnessy Dam.
Or a miner from 1849 with a fat gold nugget in one hand and a bottle of canadian whiskey in the other.
But red cursive is just gay.
Oregon
One tree.
Really? One tree??
The beaver state should have something better than that. Like a big hairy beaver.
I'm not talking about those little furry woodland creatures that gnaw down trees and dam rivers. I mean a big hairy pussy on it's license plates.
That would adequately describe how everyone in Portland and every subaru driver out there drives. Like a BIG HAIRY PUSSY!
Washington
I love Washington. I just moved here in October.
Mt. Rainier is pretty cool, but I've got a more bad ass idea for a license plate.
Mount Saint Helens erupting.
Underneath it instead of saying "The Evergreen State"
It would read:
"Don't come to Washington; When it's not raining volcanoes are erupting"
British Columbia
Most of you probably haven't seen these license plates but I live in Whatcom County which shares it's northern border with british columbia.
Just come to the Bellingham Costco, Mall, or Wal Mart and you will see a plague of canadians.
Their License plates say "Beautiful British Columbia" (GAY, and who would want to be associated with the British??)
Some of them say underneath "The Greatest Place on Earth"
Quick question, if BC is so fucking beautiful and the greatest place on earth why are you all over here??
The difference between canadians and americans is that we had the balls to give the British a big fucking middle finger and to tell them to fuck off. The canadians were bitches to the british.
Montana
My dad's from great falls, I have a lot of family here.
This is for you Grandpa D. (R.I.P.)
The sky is NOT any bigger in Montana than in any other state. When you come across from Wyoming the sky doesn't magically get bigger.
Big Sky Country, MY ASS
It's the treasure state, damn it!!
Idaho
"Scenic Idaho"
"Famous Potatoes"
Good job, Idaho... Because really that's all they're good for.
Nevada
The Silver State.
If California is the golden state then the only way nevada would win silver is if they were in the special olympics.
I don't feel like adding more, but you can guys add on to this list. Add on some east coast states if you'd like.
-
NIC BITCH I FUCKING HATE YOU!
I HATE HOW I WORK ALL WEEK AND SPEND MY HARD EARNED MONEY ON A PRODUCT THAT WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO MY DEATH!
I HATE HOW EVEN THOUGH I WAS RUNNING LATE YOU MADE ME STOP AT THE 711 AND WAIT IN LINE WITH THE OTHER FUCKING IDIOTS TO GET MY FIX!
NIC BITCH I DON'T NEED YOU!
NO SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOU!
MY HEAD HURTS, MY TEMPER IS SHORT AND I CAN'T SLEEP BUT I DO NOT NEED YOU!!!
I'm finally beginning to get my first tastes of freedom. I don't need nicotine. Today on february 29th, I will stay quit and I will make a point to tell everyone in my life about my decision to stay quit.
Here's to 11, approaching 2 weeks of quit...
-
NIC BITCH I FUCKING HATE YOU!
I HATE HOW I WORK ALL WEEK AND SPEND MY HARD EARNED MONEY ON A PRODUCT THAT WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO MY DEATH!
I HATE HOW EVEN THOUGH I WAS RUNNING LATE YOU MADE ME STOP AT THE 711 AND WAIT IN LINE WITH THE OTHER FUCKING IDIOTS TO GET MY FIX!
NIC BITCH I DON'T NEED YOU!
NO SHUT UP! I DON'T NEED YOU!
MY HEAD HURTS, MY TEMPER IS SHORT AND I CAN'T SLEEP BUT I DO NOT NEED YOU!!!
I'm finally beginning to get my first tastes of freedom. I don't need nicotine. Today on february 29th, I will stay quit and I will make a point to tell everyone in my life about my decision to stay quit.
Here's to 11, approaching 2 weeks of quit...
Hey Kurt,
Hang in there, Chief. I think you and I are on the same quit day, I'm hitting day 11 today as well. I have good days and not so good days as well. Lately, my sleep has been fucked with. Regardless, I'm quit for good.
I agree with you, I don't miss standing in line at the convenience store waiting for Cooter to pick up ten lottery tickets and a two packs of camels. I also don't miss not seeing any of those sorry mofo's behind the counter. Most of them knew me by sight and would grin and grab a can of Red seal for me when I got to the front of the line.
TAKE YOUR READ SEAL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, SURESH. I QUIT!!
Later.
-
You own your path. Bring the fight.
-
License Plates
California
Now I'm from California so I can talk shit about it.
First of all what is up with the gay cursive writing.
It screams Fag Francisco all over it.
Like some gay fairy saying in a flamboyant voice "Hey everyone! Come to California"
The golden state should have something bad ass for it's license plates. Like John Muir giving the middle finger to the O'Shaugnessy Dam.
Or a miner from 1849 with a fat gold nugget in one hand and a bottle of canadian whiskey in the other.
But red cursive is just gay.
Oregon
One tree.
Really? One tree??
The beaver state should have something better than that. Like a big hairy beaver.
I'm not talking about those little furry woodland creatures that gnaw down trees and dam rivers. I mean a big hairy pussy on it's license plates.
That would adequately describe how everyone in Portland and every subaru driver out there drives. Like a BIG HAIRY PUSSY!
Washington
I love Washington. I just moved here in October.
Mt. Rainier is pretty cool, but I've got a more bad ass idea for a license plate.
Mount Saint Helens erupting.
Underneath it instead of saying "The Evergreen State"
It would read:
"Don't come to Washington; When it's not raining volcanoes are erupting"
British Columbia
Most of you probably haven't seen these license plates but I live in Whatcom County which shares it's northern border with british columbia.
Just come to the Bellingham Costco, Mall, or Wal Mart and you will see a plague of canadians.
Their License plates say "Beautiful British Columbia" (GAY, and who would want to be associated with the British??)
Some of them say underneath "The Greatest Place on Earth"
Quick question, if BC is so fucking beautiful and the greatest place on earth why are you all over here??
The difference between canadians and americans is that we had the balls to give the British a big fucking middle finger and to tell them to fuck off. The canadians were bitches to the british.
Montana
My dad's from great falls, I have a lot of family here.
This is for you Grandpa D. (R.I.P.)
The sky is NOT any bigger in Montana than in any other state. When you come across from Wyoming the sky doesn't magically get bigger.
Big Sky Country, MY ASS
It's the treasure state, damn it!!
Idaho
"Scenic Idaho"
"Famous Potatoes"
Good job, Idaho... Because really that's all they're good for.
Nevada
The Silver State.
If California is the golden state then the only way nevada would win silver is if they were in the special olympics.
I don't feel like adding more, but you can guys add on to this list. Add on some east coast states if you'd like.
The "old" California plates were cool; the old school blue/gold ones or the ones with the bear. The new ones are, I agree, gay.
Plates from states where I've lived and I'm entitled to mock:
Arizona
Grew up there. They have the coolest flag in the union and always come out with colorful plates. They need to change the motto from the "Grand Canyon State" to the "Grand Dragon State", due to the quantity of bigoted, racist, ultraconservative white grandmas and grandpas in the state now. They have a long tradition of electing wacko governors as well.
New Mexico
Was stationed in Albuquerque for two years back on the early '90s. Cool town. Should change the state motto and plate from "Land of Enchantment" to "Land of Entrapment". I still dig NM, though, cool place if you avoid the shitty petroleum refining towns. Oh, and Las Cruces is a dump.
Texas
My current home for the last decade. Pretty cool place to live and raise a family, lots of jobs and no state income tax. Place is becoming overrun with rednecks and shitty drivers, though.
-
I am a Seattle native, sentenced to oregon now for the wife's job but I still spend about half my time in Seattle in the summers. Welcome to the great NW it is a great place to enjoy the freedom you are earning everyday. Would love to live in Bellingham that is a great town.
So welcome fellow Northwesterner, I'll quit with you today.
-
I am a Seattle native, sentenced to oregon now for the wife's job but I still spend about half my time in Seattle in the summers. Welcome to the great NW it is a great place to enjoy the freedom you are earning everyday. Would love to live in Bellingham that is a great town.
So welcome fellow Northwesterner, I'll quit with you today.
Hey thanks, Luby!
I appreciate it. Bellingham is great. As you can tell by the screen name I like to kayak, so Bellingham is paradise for me. Got pretty decent hunting grounds nearby and lots of places to fish.
But it rains every single day, so don't move here ;)
Sorry to hear that you're sentenced to Oregon right now. I really genuinely feel for ya. Where in the beav state are you?
-
License Plates
California
Now I'm from California so I can talk shit about it.
First of all what is up with the gay cursive writing.
It screams Fag Francisco all over it.
Like some gay fairy saying in a flamboyant voice "Hey everyone! Come to California"
The golden state should have something bad ass for it's license plates. Like John Muir giving the middle finger to the O'Shaugnessy Dam.
Or a miner from 1849 with a fat gold nugget in one hand and a bottle of canadian whiskey in the other.
But red cursive is just gay.
Oregon
One tree.
Really? One tree??
The beaver state should have something better than that. Like a big hairy beaver.
I'm not talking about those little furry woodland creatures that gnaw down trees and dam rivers. I mean a big hairy pussy on it's license plates.
That would adequately describe how everyone in Portland and every subaru driver out there drives. Like a BIG HAIRY PUSSY!
Washington
I love Washington. I just moved here in October.
Mt. Rainier is pretty cool, but I've got a more bad ass idea for a license plate.
Mount Saint Helens erupting.
Underneath it instead of saying "The Evergreen State"
It would read:
"Don't come to Washington; When it's not raining volcanoes are erupting"
British Columbia
Most of you probably haven't seen these license plates but I live in Whatcom County which shares it's northern border with british columbia.
Just come to the Bellingham Costco, Mall, or Wal Mart and you will see a plague of canadians.
Their License plates say "Beautiful British Columbia" (GAY, and who would want to be associated with the British??)
Some of them say underneath "The Greatest Place on Earth"
Quick question, if BC is so fucking beautiful and the greatest place on earth why are you all over here??
The difference between canadians and americans is that we had the balls to give the British a big fucking middle finger and to tell them to fuck off. The canadians were bitches to the british.
Montana
My dad's from great falls, I have a lot of family here.
This is for you Grandpa D. (R.I.P.)
The sky is NOT any bigger in Montana than in any other state. When you come across from Wyoming the sky doesn't magically get bigger.
Big Sky Country, MY ASS
It's the treasure state, damn it!!
Idaho
"Scenic Idaho"
"Famous Potatoes"
Good job, Idaho... Because really that's all they're good for.
Nevada
The Silver State.
If California is the golden state then the only way nevada would win silver is if they were in the special olympics.
I don't feel like adding more, but you can guys add on to this list. Add on some east coast states if you'd like.
The "old" California plates were cool; the old school blue/gold ones or the ones with the bear. The new ones are, I agree, gay.
Plates from states where I've lived and I'm entitled to mock:
Arizona
Grew up there. They have the coolest flag in the union and always come out with colorful plates. They need to change the motto from the "Grand Canyon State" to the "Grand Dragon State", due to the quantity of bigoted, racist, ultraconservative white grandmas and grandpas in the state now. They have a long tradition of electing wacko governors as well.
New Mexico
Was stationed in Albuquerque for two years back on the early '90s. Cool town. Should change the state motto and plate from "Land of Enchantment" to "Land of Entrapment". I still dig NM, though, cool place if you avoid the shitty petroleum refining towns. Oh, and Las Cruces is a dump.
Texas
My current home for the last decade. Pretty cool place to live and raise a family, lots of jobs and no state income tax. Place is becoming overrun with rednecks and shitty drivers, though.
I spent some time in Tucson, that's probably one of the better cities in AZ, but i know what ya mean. Also it's too damn hot for me there.
The old school california plates were cool.
Also, NM should be land of entrapment? Care to explain that one, I've never been to NM.
TX I haven't really been to; I've just had lay overs in dallas/fort worth going to and from Paris in high school.
I remember coming through customs after leaving Paris and some big ol white guy with a thick texan accent says to me "Welcome home"
I know he meant, welcome home as in welcome back to america.
But I wanted to say, BITCH texas is not my home! hahaha
I restrained myself.
-
Someone had not seen my official quit plan despite me having posted it. So here it is in my intro thread for everyone to refer to when they feel the need to call me out on not having one.
Kurt's quit plan:
1)I post roll every morning. I give my word to my group that I'm nic free today. My dad always said a man is only as good as his word. So I keep my word. No matter how bad shit gets today, nicotine is NOT an option for me today
2)Get on the forum. READ, READ, READ!
3)I'm stocked up with fake dip, the mint stuff, jolly ranchers, and wintergreen life savers.
4)I have 7 numbers of guys (and the list is growing by the day) who make sure I post roll everyday and vice versa (except for the vets numbers I have, I dont make sure they post roll because they usually did it before i'm up) So I have to ask all of them for permission to cave and get permission from ALL of them and then...
5)I have to get permission from my girlfriend and close family members to cave and have their permission to chooce nicotine over a full life with them.
-
Someone had not seen my official quit plan despite me having posted it. So here it is in my intro thread for everyone to refer to when they feel the need to call me out on not having one.
Kurt's quit plan:
1)I post roll every morning. I give my word to my group that I'm nic free today. My dad always said a man is only as good as his word. So I keep my word. No matter how bad shit gets today, nicotine is NOT an option for me today
2)Get on the forum. READ, READ, READ!
3)I'm stocked up with fake dip, the mint stuff, jolly ranchers, and wintergreen life savers.
4)I have 7 numbers of guys (and the list is growing by the day) who make sure I post roll everyday and vice versa (except for the vets numbers I have, I dont make sure they post roll because they usually did it before i'm up) So I have to ask all of them for permission to cave and get permission from ALL of them and then...
5)I have to get permission from my girlfriend and close family members to cave and have their permission to chooce nicotine over a full life with them.
I like this!
-
Someone had not seen my official quit plan despite me having posted it. So here it is in my intro thread for everyone to refer to when they feel the need to call me out on not having one.
Kurt's quit plan:
1)I post roll every morning. I give my word to my group that I'm nic free today. My dad always said a man is only as good as his word. So I keep my word. No matter how bad shit gets today, nicotine is NOT an option for me today
2)Get on the forum. READ, READ, READ!
3)I'm stocked up with fake dip, the mint stuff, jolly ranchers, and wintergreen life savers.
4)I have 7 numbers of guys (and the list is growing by the day) who make sure I post roll everyday and vice versa (except for the vets numbers I have, I dont make sure they post roll because they usually did it before i'm up) So I have to ask all of them for permission to cave and get permission from ALL of them and then...
5)I have to get permission from my girlfriend and close family members to cave and have their permission to chooce nicotine over a full life with them.
Steps 1 - 3 are a daily routine for me. Though hopefully step 3 becomes less frequent.
Ideally step 1 says it all. Keep my word. And ideally it never gets past step 3.
Post roll. Keep my word. It's as simple as that.
I try to stay active on the forum but isn't always that easy, but I at least make sure to take the time to post roll everyday.
-
Here's a guy protecting his quit. Getting involved. Giving support. Pulling folks through the fog. Good stuff Kurt. Keep it up bud. When you get through to the other side of this, you'll be a different man.
One day at a time.
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
When I felt like that two things helped. First, sex...seriously. second, exercise, I usually walked the dogs and if I still felt like shit it was off to the gym
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Read the post before this. You have done a tremendous thing here bud. You believe in yourself strong enough to tell you body and mind to "do the right thing". To stop putting poison in body. To stop being chained to a chemical. To stop playing Russian roulette with cancer.
This is bold brother. Without a doubt. Is this easy? Hell no. But fuck, you knowingly put poison in your body...you paid to put poison in your body. Think your body and mind were happy about that? Heck no. Don't take this thing lightly. Give yourself some props. I often feel like a lunatic 'round this point but here it goes: you've been living in the framework of an addict...a using addict. That framework created all these patterns that forced you to do things that truly wasn't you. Things that just don't make sense (see the above paragraph). Realizing this you made this bold step. You've said "I quit" You've given the proverbial "number one" to UST. You realize you got more to offer the world. Fuck. I'm proud that you're here. Just as I am the rest of the steel balled fuckers that live on this site day in and day out. This ain't easy. It takes guts and determination and a true sense of belief in yourself. You can do this. I know it.
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
When I felt like that two things helped. First, sex...seriously. second, exercise, I usually walked the dogs and if I still felt like shit it was off to the gym
Sex and exercise...OUTFUCKINGSTANDING BRUCE.
Bet that old fucker with the fruit smoothies infomercial wishes he knew our secret to success.
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Read the post before this. You have done a tremendous thing here bud. You believe in yourself strong enough to tell you body and mind to "do the right thing". To stop putting poison in body. To stop being chained to a chemical. To stop playing Russian roulette with cancer.
This is bold brother. Without a doubt. Is this easy? Hell no. But fuck, you knowingly put poison in your body...you paid to put poison in your body. Think you body and mind were happy about that? Heck no. Don't take this thing lightly. Give yourself so props. I often feel like a lunatic 'round this point but here it goes: you've been living in the framework of an addict...a using addict. That framework created all these patterns that forced you to do things that truly wasn't you. Things that just don't make sense (see the above paragraph). Realizing this you made this bold step. You've said "I quit" You've given the proverbial "number one" to UST. You realize you got more to offer the world. Fuck. I'm proud that you're here. Just as I am the rest of the steel balled fuckers that live on this site day in and day out. This ain't easy. It takes guts and determination and a true sense of belief in yourself. You can do this. I know it.
This Souliman vet is a class act.
--Russ
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Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Kurt,
Hang in there brother. You and I are on the same day. I had a terribly shitty day yesterday (day 10). Just depressed and shit. Today was kickass; much better. It's up and down. You will have a great day tomorrow (or the next day), it's no bullshit, dude. I can't believe how much better I feel today than yesterday.
Need you back in the game tomorrow and feeling great, dude.
---Russ
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Kurt,
I wrote the following on my April 13, 2009, roll call:
"Dean - 21. I hate what this drug has done to me."
You're in that place now, too. Make no mistake about it: You feel like shit because you didn't get up and throw a dip in your mouth. The void left by quitting is harrowing. Never mind those assholes who focus on the "physical" addiction...the guys who think it's easy street after 72 hours. Maybe it is, for some. I wasn't one of them. I found myself on an emotional roller-coaster for MONTHS. I was quit for hundreds of days and would fall into funks. Lots of us did.
But so what? Even at 21 days quit, I was full of BALLS and RESOLVE. I could have woken up every day with a fucking knife sticking out of my head, and the cure could have been packing a dip, and I STILL would have rather endured that knife wound than caved.
Are you there? If not, get there. You make it so.
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Kurt,
I wrote the following on my April 13, 2009, roll call:
"Dean - 21. I hate what this drug has done to me."
You're in that place now, too. Make no mistake about it: You feel like shit because you didn't get up and throw a dip in your mouth. The void left by quitting is harrowing. Never mind those assholes who focus on the "physical" addiction...the guys who think it's easy street after 72 hours. Maybe it is, for some. I wasn't one of them. I found myself on an emotional roller-coaster for MONTHS. I was quit for hundreds of days and would fall into funks. Lots of us did.
But so what? Even at 21 days quit, I was full of BALLS and RESOLVE. I could have woken up every day with a fucking knife sticking out of my head, and the cure could have been packing a dip, and I STILL would have rather endured that knife wound than caved.
Are you there? If not, get there. You make it so.
Obviously, this site is working again. There are lots of guys who feel the same way Kurt.
You're getting great advice here. All I will say is, weather this storm, it too shall pass.
Life on the other side is so fucking worth it Kurt, trust me.
Head down, power through. You can do this.
-
Day 11 has been a very depressed day.
Not sure why I just feel like I don't have any energy. Don't want to leave the house (which may be a good thing).
I just feel very lethargic...
I don't know what else to write, but I'm in a very dark place today.. Not sure what to do to change that. I know a dip won't change that. A cigarette won't change that.
I think I'll make dinner. Hamburger helper with deer burger and (pig) bacon.
Fuck I am depressed.
The weather doesn't help either...
Kurt,
I wrote the following on my April 13, 2009, roll call:
"Dean - 21. I hate what this drug has done to me."
You're in that place now, too. Make no mistake about it: You feel like shit because you didn't get up and throw a dip in your mouth. The void left by quitting is harrowing. Never mind those assholes who focus on the "physical" addiction...the guys who think it's easy street after 72 hours. Maybe it is, for some. I wasn't one of them. I found myself on an emotional roller-coaster for MONTHS. I was quit for hundreds of days and would fall into funks. Lots of us did.
But so what? Even at 21 days quit, I was full of BALLS and RESOLVE. I could have woken up every day with a fucking knife sticking out of my head, and the cure could have been packing a dip, and I STILL would have rather endured that knife wound than caved.
Are you there? If not, get there. You make it so.
Obviously, this site is working again. There are lots of guys who feel the same way Kurt.
You're getting great advice here. All I will say is, weather this storm, it too shall pass.
Life on the other side is so fucking worth it Kurt, trust me.
Head down, power through. You can do this.
I'm with you Kurt. I also know you can do this.
The funky days can really wreak havoc on the spirit. Those are the days that this site was built for. these people, these 'strangers', these heroes will help you to be stronger than you think you can be.
Try to get moving. Literally. Get up out of the chair and get moving. Go for a walk around the block. Yes, even in the rain. You won't melt, I promise. Move your ass. Getting the blood flowing will boost your endorphins and make you feel better. Do 25 push-ups.
Do anything.
You got this brother.
I'm quit with you.
-
Morning 12
Wow guys, I appreciate all this support!!
Bruce I took your advice last night, and just now again in the morning ;)
Russ thanks for texting me this morning because you didn't see my name on roll call. Even if it was 8am and my lazy ass was still in bed. I'm glad to know I've got people checking in on me and making sure I'm posting. That's what this site is about. Accountability.
Next, I'd like to thank Soul, Dean, Leahy, Bruce, Russ and NOLAQ for all your guys support.
So last night I had my first dip dream. I've had a few cigarette dreams but this was my first dip dream. I dreamt that not only had I bought a can, but that someone gave me a can that same day too. So there I am in dreamland with 2 cans of dip and it hits me. What will I tell the guys in the forum??
In my dream I have two thoughts.
First though just cave. Dip these two cans then go back as a retread. Whats the big deal, everyone does it!
No, I can't do that to my support team. To all the guys that spent their time on me that would have been a waste for all of them.
My next thought was well why do you have to tell them? Just dip, and keep posting roll they won't know..
I woke up feeling ashamed and worthless.
Thank god it was only a dream. There is no way I could come on to this forum with a dip in my lip and act like everything was normal.
This is a good sign though right?
So the ladyfriend left for college, and she made coffee before she left. Damn good woman if I say so myself. I'm feeling better today. I've got some errands I have to run so I'll get out of the house today.
Day 12, prepare to have your ass kicked nic free style.
-
This is a good sign though right?
It's a great sign. Well, specifically your reaction to the dream. I *still* have caving dreams, and I think they are awesome and humbling and a blessing. I get to experience how shitty it would be to cave without actually caving. I wake up even more proud of myself than I was when I went to sleep. It keeps my sorry ass in check.
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This is a good sign though right?
It's a great sign. Well, specifically your reaction to the dream. I *still* have caving dreams, and I think they are awesome and humbling and a blessing. I get to experience how shitty it would be to cave without actually caving. I wake up even more proud of myself than I was when I went to sleep. It keeps my sorry ass in check.
You always got just the right things to say, Dean!
I posted this story on my may quit group's thread. I'm beginning to feel the sense of brotherhood on here and wanted to add this to the forum. I think this story definitely relates to our quits and the brotherhood on here.
My dad used to tell me and my 2 brothers this story when we would fight.
The Bundle of Sticks
A certain Father had a family of Sons, who were forever quarreling among themselves. No words he could say did the least good, so he cast about in his mind for some very striking example that should make them see that discord would lead them to misfortune.
One day when the quarreling had been much more violent than usual and each of the Sons was moping in a surly manner, he asked one of them to bring him a bundle of sticks. Then handing the bundle to each of his Sons in turn he told them to try to break it. But although each one tried his best, none was able to do so.
The Father then untied the bundle and gave the sticks to his Sons to break one by one. This they did very easily.
"My Sons," said the Father, "do you not see how certain it is that if you agree with each other and help each other, it will be impossible for your enemies to injure you? But if you are divided among yourselves, you will be no stronger than a single stick in that bundle."
In unity is strength.
-
This is a good sign though right?
It's a great sign. Well, specifically your reaction to the dream. I *still* have caving dreams, and I think they are awesome and humbling and a blessing. I get to experience how shitty it would be to cave without actually caving. I wake up even more proud of myself than I was when I went to sleep. It keeps my sorry ass in check.
You always got just the right things to say, Dean!
I posted this story on my may quit group's thread. I'm beginning to feel the sense of brotherhood on here and wanted to add this to the forum. I think this story definitely relates to our quits and the brotherhood on here.
My dad used to tell me and my 2 brothers this story when we would fight.
The Bundle of Sticks
A certain Father had a family of Sons, who were forever quarreling among themselves. No words he could say did the least good, so he cast about in his mind for some very striking example that should make them see that discord would lead them to misfortune.
One day when the quarreling had been much more violent than usual and each of the Sons was moping in a surly manner, he asked one of them to bring him a bundle of sticks. Then handing the bundle to each of his Sons in turn he told them to try to break it. But although each one tried his best, none was able to do so.
The Father then untied the bundle and gave the sticks to his Sons to break one by one. This they did very easily.
"My Sons," said the Father, "do you not see how certain it is that if you agree with each other and help each other, it will be impossible for your enemies to injure you? But if you are divided among yourselves, you will be no stronger than a single stick in that bundle."
In unity is strength.
This morning I had a wake-up call from the nic bitch.
I had a dip dream.
Rather a dip nightmare.
In my dream I caught my 11 year-old son with a dip in his mouth.
He called me a hypocrite and reminded me that I dipped until he was 10.
That's a wake-up call. I sat up breathing heavy. Pissed. At myself.
What an asshole I was all those years.
Dean's right about these dreams.
Stay quit Kurt
Leahy 273
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This is a good sign though right?
It's a great sign. Well, specifically your reaction to the dream. I *still* have caving dreams, and I think they are awesome and humbling and a blessing. I get to experience how shitty it would be to cave without actually caving. I wake up even more proud of myself than I was when I went to sleep. It keeps my sorry ass in check.
You always got just the right things to say, Dean!
I posted this story on my may quit group's thread. I'm beginning to feel the sense of brotherhood on here and wanted to add this to the forum. I think this story definitely relates to our quits and the brotherhood on here.
My dad used to tell me and my 2 brothers this story when we would fight.
The Bundle of Sticks
A certain Father had a family of Sons, who were forever quarreling among themselves. No words he could say did the least good, so he cast about in his mind for some very striking example that should make them see that discord would lead them to misfortune.
One day when the quarreling had been much more violent than usual and each of the Sons was moping in a surly manner, he asked one of them to bring him a bundle of sticks. Then handing the bundle to each of his Sons in turn he told them to try to break it. But although each one tried his best, none was able to do so.
The Father then untied the bundle and gave the sticks to his Sons to break one by one. This they did very easily.
"My Sons," said the Father, "do you not see how certain it is that if you agree with each other and help each other, it will be impossible for your enemies to injure you? But if you are divided among yourselves, you will be no stronger than a single stick in that bundle."
In unity is strength.
This morning I had a wake-up call from the nic bitch.
I had a dip dream.
Rather a dip nightmare.
In my dream I caught my 11 year-old son with a dip in his mouth.
He called me a hypocrite and reminded me that I dipped until he was 10.
That's a wake-up call. I sat up breathing heavy. Pissed. At myself.
What an asshole I was all those years.
Dean's right about these dreams.
Stay quit Kurt
Leahy 273
That's powerful.
Good to know that even months into our quit the nic bitch will still be there. We can never let our guards down.
I might have a serious crave today as I'm gonna spend some time with my cousins. Both of them smoke. However todays is 2 weeks and I won't throw that away.
Also it's been over a month without a cigarette and my lungs and body feel better than ever.