KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: RiverRunner on November 05, 2011, 09:21:00 PM
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Quit swishin brown shit in my mouth Monday. Feels good having been distracted all week, but not so much fun now to be home and only have work to look forward to.
I'm 26 years old, buying dip since I was 17.. closet dipper you could say since its been hidden from family members and my SAME girlfriend since I was 17. She found me out after I had told her I quit. I quit again for a month way back when, and for years up until this date I have been letting her think I had quit.
I guess I was never concerned about quitting for her, although she's the hottest female I've known, has put up with more shit... Best match for my evil character and I know she can do better, which is scaring me. She must see something worth salvaging in me that I don't.
I am an asshole in most respects when it comes to my relationships. I am selfish, hard-headed and mean. Sorry for the novel, going to be breaking some habits, dip being the first.
I've practiced taking all negative and meaningless things in my life to the limit. I will out drink, pack my lip bigger and dumber looking, spit less than anyone and kick your ass if you want.
But a 5'2" little 100 lb blonde girl cried and took me to my knees because I told her I may be developing a drinking problem and might need to seek some help. I thought I was running a risk of being dumped but she's all about not letting me be a loser.
I don't regret starting quits for my demons I've got. Just wish I could stop thinking so much.
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Hey don't mean it all so boo-hoo for me-like, I am fixing shit and glad about it.
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RR,
The way we Quit here is One Day at a time!
Here is how successful quitters QUIT!:
Post roll call with your group every morning
Repeat every day
Educate yourself by reading everything on this ite
Use this site for support
Have an anti-cave plan---caving is not an option
man up and take your freedom back!
If you need anything PM me
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RR,
The way we Quit here is One Day at a time!Â
Here is how successful quitters QUIT!:
Post roll call with your group every morning
Repeat every day
Educate yourself by reading everything on this ite
Use this site for support
Have an anti-cave plan---caving is not an option
man up and take your freedom back!
If you need anything PM me
Thanks Cope.
Battle wears on.
I'm almost scared not having the intense withdrawls I've been reading about.
Realizing why everyone here quits one day at a time and only focuses on 24 hr periods.
I am a drug addict and always will be even quitting every day.. or quit addict, rather.. sounds better to be addicted to quitting.
It was something fun for me to do.
Edit: So let me clarify withdrawls, I still want to grab a tin every time I drive somewhere. But its only I want to, no, my leg doesn't twitch, I don't have headaches. Seems withdrawls are mental at this point, thin patience.
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RR,
The way we Quit here is One Day at a time!Â
Here is how successful quitters QUIT!:
Post roll call with your group every morning
Repeat every day
Educate yourself by reading everything on this ite
Use this site for support
Have an anti-cave plan---caving is not an option
man up and take your freedom back!
If you need anything PM me
Thanks Cope.
Battle wears on.
I'm almost scared not having the intense withdrawls I've been reading about.
Realizing why everyone here quits one day at a time and only focuses on 24 hr periods.
I am a drug addict and always will be even quitting every day.. or quit addict, rather.. sounds better to be addicted to quitting.
It was something fun for me to do.
Edit: So let me clarify withdrawls, I still want to grab a tin every time I drive somewhere. But its only I want to, no, my leg doesn't twitch, I don't have headaches. Seems withdrawls are mental at this point, thin patience.
Yes withdrawals are mental (but occassionally feels very physical). Your brain is rewiring itself. The way you help the process of the rewiring is simple--just don't use nicotine. Not using is your only resposiblity.
Post roll and keep your promise. I am on day 194 and go several days and weeks at a time now without even thinking about dip. WOW it gets better!
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If you wish, you can pop over here an introduce yourself. index.php?showforum=46 (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showforum=46)
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River, does you girlfriend know you dip? I was worried about telling my girlfriend about my secret addiction, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done to help my quit. She might be pissed off at first (Mine was), but it will be worth it to have someone close to you to lean on for support.
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River, does you girlfriend know you dip? I was worried about telling my girlfriend about my secret addiction, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done to help my quit. She might be pissed off at first (Mine was), but it will be worth it to have someone close to you to lean on for support.
She must not know about my addiction. She is true grit as car as females go and would undoubtedly call my red little ass on the carpet if she caught wind of it. That has helped me to become very sly about my ways of dipping. We do not live together, making it easier for me to get away with it. Ive trained myself to be very clean about it. No rotten spitters, no empty tins, no Grizzle Sticks in the seats of my pickup trucks, and a pearly white grin.
But... At the same time as I'm writting this, I wonder why she hasn't asked me? She knows my past and my not so truthful track record...
She isn't stupid and she's probably two steps ahead as usual. She poked at me trying to figure out my lousy attitude on life, and why I never talk deeper than the weather or our weekend plans... I broke down and told her I come home after work and get drunk and go to bed and go back to work. Horrible rut, I know.
The dipping, believe it or not, had bothered me more than the drinking.
I'd get a hair up my ass and say fuck Grizzly! I'm never buying it EVER AGAIN! ...next thing I knew I'd be fuckin sloshed ass hammered staggering down to my local grog shop to eat a can of shit. This will have been my demise if not for this site. Unofficially had to lay off the drink to quit the dip. Reading other peoples stories has made me reflect on myself and realize I have piss poor self evaluation skills, and that I can't be trusted with beer in my fridge. I have a good job, all the motorized toys I want, several trucks and a bad ass boat and above all, an awesome girl.
I can see all this slipping away if I don't get my focking shit straight. I just couldn't attach a handle on it, not even for one day. If I fail, it won't be today. Even the past week and some change being dip free has made me hungry for the next. I keep busy, I browse the site, I work my ass off, waxed the inner fender wells on the Ford, go out of my way to see the woman.. I'm finding I love these things that I've missed out on for the 600-700 nights of my life, prior to the last 9 days. So many moments I was blind to at the time.. I've ran away from life for a small portion of each day so that I may go tear open a tin. As for the female...
At this point I don't think she will dump my ass, but may be harder than necessary on her, I know it will be a bitch for me to tell her. I would rather rely on the February Fucksticks at this point in time.
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River, does you girlfriend know you dip? I was worried about telling my girlfriend about my secret addiction, but it turned out to be one of the best things I could have done to help my quit. She might be pissed off at first (Mine was), but it will be worth it to have someone close to you to lean on for support.
She must not know about my addiction. She is true grit as car as females go and would undoubtedly call my red little ass on the carpet if she caught wind of it. That has helped me to become very sly about my ways of dipping. We do not live together, making it easier for me to get away with it. Ive trained myself to be very clean about it. No rotten spitters, no empty tins, no Grizzle Sticks in the seats of my pickup trucks, and a pearly white grin.
But... At the same time as I'm writting this, I wonder why she hasn't asked me? She knows my past and my not so truthful track record...
She isn't stupid and she's probably two steps ahead as usual. She poked at me trying to figure out my lousy attitude on life, and why I never talk deeper than the weather or our weekend plans... I broke down and told her I come home after work and get drunk and go to bed and go back to work. Horrible rut, I know.
The dipping, believe it or not, had bothered me more than the drinking.
I'd get a hair up my ass and say fuck Grizzly! I'm never buying it EVER AGAIN! ...next thing I knew I'd be fuckin sloshed ass hammered staggering down to my local grog shop to eat a can of shit. This will have been my demise if not for this site. Unofficially had to lay off the drink to quit the dip. Reading other peoples stories has made me reflect on myself and realize I have piss poor self evaluation skills, and that I can't be trusted with beer in my fridge. I have a good job, all the motorized toys I want, several trucks and a bad ass boat and above all, an awesome girl.
I can see all this slipping away if I don't get my focking shit straight. I just couldn't attach a handle on it, not even for one day. If I fail, it won't be today. Even the past week and some change being dip free has made me hungry for the next. I keep busy, I browse the site, I work my ass off, waxed the inner fender wells on the Ford, go out of my way to see the woman.. I'm finding I love these things that I've missed out on for the 600-700 nights of my life, prior to the last 9 days. So many moments I was blind to at the time.. I've ran away from life for a small portion of each day so that I may go tear open a tin. As for the female...
At this point I don't think she will dump my ass, but may be harder than necessary on her, I know it will be a bitch for me to tell her. I would rather rely on the February Fucksticks at this point in time.
Keep it up boss! One day at a time kill this stupid fucking nic bitch. Proud to be quit with you brother.
Al man