KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: oceanic815 on July 16, 2013, 12:46:00 AM
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so first of all I apologize to the board and the brotherhood for taking more than a week to step up and say hi, who I am, and where I'm coming from....
I'm a resident (just finished my intern year-YEAH BOY!) in surgery so I'll be gracious for your understanding of my lack of free time.. i think too i wanted to get into this a ways, think about why i'm doing this (my quit) differently this time... outside of the fact that I've learned quitting on my own just is not going to happen..
lets start over-my name is Nick, I'm 28, I've dipped grizzly wintergreen since I started at Michigan State about 10 years ago exactly. My roommate was a farmer when I was a freshman, and boy did he love skoal straight. For the last year I've run through roughly a can every day. It started for me as a way to get a better buzz, then it turned into something I just loved (that's spelled in caps with "mf'ing" in front of it) doing. I'd go workout, get home and sit at the computer and throw one in... I'd get up in the morning, throw one in.... Anytime really, at movies, studying, watching TV or driving.
I moved to columbus and started medical school at OSU in 2008, and I thought "this will be a new leaf" (no pun) and "I can't take care of people and counsel them to quit smoking if I do this crap.." but honestly, I had a period of about 6 months when I met my then (and current) girlfriend when I was able to hang it up. Unfortunately I had a setback during the early part of 2009 with a few weeks that saw too many drinks too many weekends in a row when my boys in green and white went to the national championship. The result was me being a punk and chewing through the last 3 years of medical school and through my first year of residency. That brings us till now. The high points? I tried several times to quit on my own. I bought gum, I have a roommate (not the GF) who has been on me for years, and I just can't do it alone. My parents know and everytime they see the used up tins in their dumpster when I come home they just shake their head and tell me how disgusting it is. Its shameful really. I did this crap regularly with my co-residents in the HOSPITAL.. how moronic is that when I cut cancer out of people literally every week if not every day....
The worst part of all of this is i have lied to my girlfriend who thinks I quit using this crap when I came to columbus, when in reality i HAD quit, but until now had been back at it... Lets clear that sentence up: I HAVE LIED FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP minus 6 months...... and have constantly make excuses to get away and go home and do it... I am only 9 days out but remember how torn up my lip got after a long overnight call and just taking a whole tin to the face over the course of the night.... I know spilling spitters at your parents house into the nice carpets only to lie to them about what it is even though they know full well what it is... I know the scare of a little lump or bump in your neck, or a sore throat-is this going to be the time I start losing weight and really pay the piper?
Enough, honestly... just so disgusting and rather than browsing this site for a month or two I wish I would have just given it a shot cause it has given me a really nice place to come and think about my quit... To be honest guys (and gals) I am really happy about how good this feels. I am enjoying being free of it. And running, and feeling more in control with some will power. I have had a few nights already with friends where we have had a few beers, but I hop on here and see all the names-its kinda ridiculous it gets me motivated but at least I know I can come on here and all those names are 100% legit committed to not touching that s**. I want into that club, and I want this for myself now-not for any reason other than to be healthy and not addicted to something so destructive... I have worked my mind and body so hard for the last 20 years getting to where I want to be-to engage in this self-deceptive and self-destructive activity is so, so crazy....
That's a good start right? So with that, I feel like I've introduced myself, where I am, where I am from.... thank you (thank you, thank you, thank you) all for helping me ODAAT cause I am better now from the roll calls, and even just looking at the list once a day when I put my name up there...
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so first of all I apologize to the board and the brotherhood for taking more than a week to step up and say hi, who I am, and where I'm coming from....
I'm a resident (just finished my intern year-YEAH BOY!) in surgery so I'll be gracious for your understanding of my lack of free time.. i think too i wanted to get into this a ways, think about why i'm doing this (my quit) differently this time... outside of the fact that I've learned quitting on my own just is not going to happen..
lets start over-my name is Nick, I'm 28, I've dipped grizzly wintergreen since I started at Michigan State about 10 years ago exactly. My roommate was a farmer when I was a freshman, and boy did he love skoal straight. For the last year I've run through roughly a can every day. It started for me as a way to get a better buzz, then it turned into something I just loved (that's spelled in caps with "mf'ing" in front of it) doing. I'd go workout, get home and sit at the computer and throw one in... I'd get up in the morning, throw one in.... Anytime really, at movies, studying, watching TV or driving.
I moved to columbus and started medical school at OSU in 2008, and I thought "this will be a new leaf" (no pun) and "I can't take care of people and counsel them to quit smoking if I do this crap.." but honestly, I had a period of about 6 months when I met my then (and current) girlfriend when I was able to hang it up. Unfortunately I had a setback during the early part of 2009 with a few weeks that saw too many drinks too many weekends in a row when my boys in green and white went to the national championship. The result was me being a punk and chewing through the last 3 years of medical school and through my first year of residency. That brings us till now. The high points? I tried several times to quit on my own. I bought gum, I have a roommate (not the GF) who has been on me for years, and I just can't do it alone. My parents know and everytime they see the used up tins in their dumpster when I come home they just shake their head and tell me how disgusting it is. Its shameful really. I did this crap regularly with my co-residents in the HOSPITAL.. how moronic is that when I cut cancer out of people literally every week if not every day....
The worst part of all of this is i have lied to my girlfriend who thinks I quit using this crap when I came to columbus, when in reality i HAD quit, but until now had been back at it... Lets clear that sentence up: I HAVE LIED FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION OF OUR RELATIONSHIP minus 6 months...... and have constantly make excuses to get away and go home and do it... I am only 9 days out but remember how torn up my lip got after a long overnight call and just taking a whole tin to the face over the course of the night.... I know spilling spitters at your parents house into the nice carpets only to lie to them about what it is even though they know full well what it is... I know the scare of a little lump or bump in your neck, or a sore throat-is this going to be the time I start losing weight and really pay the piper?
Enough, honestly... just so disgusting and rather than browsing this site for a month or two I wish I would have just given it a shot cause it has given me a really nice place to come and think about my quit... To be honest guys (and gals) I am really happy about how good this feels. I am enjoying being free of it. And running, and feeling more in control with some will power. I have had a few nights already with friends where we have had a few beers, but I hop on here and see all the names-its kinda ridiculous it gets me motivated but at least I know I can come on here and all those names are 100% legit committed to not touching that s**. I want into that club, and I want this for myself now-not for any reason other than to be healthy and not addicted to something so destructive... I have worked my mind and body so hard for the last 20 years getting to where I want to be-to engage in this self-deceptive and self-destructive activity is so, so crazy....
That's a good start right? So with that, I feel like I've introduced myself, where I am, where I am from.... thank you (thank you, thank you, thank you) all for helping me ODAAT cause I am better now from the roll calls, and even just looking at the list once a day when I put my name up there...
If you've not done it yet, please introduce yourself to your new group (in the quit rooms) and remember to post roll and promise for the day. Do not think of tomorrow, only today. Get digits of those in your group, introduce yourself, try to be interactive, jump into the interactive chat room..
It sounds to me like you've got a good grasp on the why you are here - and that there is the desire, but I am telling you, we are WEAK as humans and as sure as you've lied to your girl about your addiction, we lie to ourselves thinking that we can do this on our own. (Yeah, sure, some CAN and DO - BUT lets be real, there is comfort knowing that the crap you go through DAILY, the frustrations, desires, dip dreams, whatever - is something that those before you have gone through and they can help you as you get into those).
The nicotine addicts brain is forever messed up. You will lie to yourself thinking you can have just one, or what will one dip do - dude, you will never be the same. Never again for any reason.. you can do this.
Pour yourself a glass of koolaid and stick around a while.
A
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Michigan State, then to OHIO STATE?
Man, as a Wolverine, that's a deadly combo. Son of a fuck!!!
But...not as deadly as chew. So I will help as much as I can (even durring football season)
Get you're ass to posting role and making connections with your quit group.
Look forward to seeing you around.
MSU and OSU..... 'puking'
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well I love the combination more than I thought I would.. when I first got here it was all the idiot redneck fans that stood out to me cause it was a new place and of course it wasn't better than east lansing.....
now that I've called it home for 5 years I have to say its like having two parents and I love both universities (but I still cheer for sparty over the buckeyes-hell it fed my family growing up and my dad is a 25 year employee at MSU)
either way, I've met some awesome fans down here and I couldn't ask for a cooler place to be living in my 20's... looking forward to the fall though-we will have some fun
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well I love the combination more than I thought I would.. when I first got here it was all the idiot redneck fans that stood out to me cause it was a new place and of course it wasn't better than east lansing.....
now that I've called it home for 5 years I have to say its like having two parents and I love both universities (but I still cheer for sparty over the buckeyes-hell it fed my family growing up and my dad is a 25 year employee at MSU)
either way, I've met some awesome fans down here and I couldn't ask for a cooler place to be living in my 20's... looking forward to the fall though-we will have some fun
you bet. cuz that ohio state unaverse is gonna put a nuther ass woopin on old blue and man your on the rite side. oooh yeah hokamania is runnin wild in a2 and they are gonna be lappin up his 9-4 and 10-3 days just like the old days. man i can evin cheer for sparty to give um the old beet down.
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It's ok you were a little late on the intro, some of us are aware you crashed on an island that tends to move around all by itself and you we a little "lost"...
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Sounds to me like you got your head on straight and have a legit grasp of why you are here. That's more then I can say for some that have passed through. To go the distance you have to do this for you. Fear of cancer will not sustain you. But cancer obviously isn't your main motivator. You see it every day. You know it better then we do. Sounds like you are motivated by a need to not be controlled by an addiction. Great news! for the last week YOU have controlled it. You are taking back your life and we are here for you! Lean on us when ever you need too.
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well I love the combination more than I thought I would.. when I first got here it was all the idiot redneck fans that stood out to me cause it was a new place and of course it wasn't better than east lansing.....
now that I've called it home for 5 years I have to say its like having two parents and I love both universities (but I still cheer for sparty over the buckeyes-hell it fed my family growing up and my dad is a 25 year employee at MSU)
either way, I've met some awesome fans down here and I couldn't ask for a cooler place to be living in my 20's... looking forward to the fall though-we will have some fun
you bet. cuz that ohio state unaverse is gonna put a nuther ass woopin on old blue and man your on the rite side. oooh yeah hokamania is runnin wild in a2 and they are gonna be lappin up his 9-4 and 10-3 days just like the old days. man i can evin cheer for sparty to give um the old beet down.
Yeah, old Urban go the payroll opened up REAL nice at OSU. Hopefully he can cut down on the 25 players arrested he had while at Florida.
No worries, Hokemania is pulling some top notch recruiting class the old fashion way. He don't wear a head set and he don't wear sleeves.
Bring on college Football!!!
Go Blue!
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Bring on college Football!!!
^^^^^ THIS!!! ^^^^^
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Welcome! Sounds like you're busy. I have a wife, kids and own a business in Michigan - great place to work, at least if you don't like money. So I get it, I'm busy too, I've got a wee bit of stress as well. So do most of the guys here - they all find time to post roll and many of them have MADE time to get and stay active here. I hope you do too. I bet you'd have a lot to offer. I'd like to challenge you to find the time to be an asset to your group. If not on roll - get some cell numbers and call or text a few of your fellow quitters. It might seem like it's helping them and it is. It won't take you too long to see that it helps you even more though.
Again, welcome
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Welcome! Sounds like you're busy. I have a wife, kids and own a business in Michigan - great place to work, at least if you don't like money. So I get it, I'm busy too, I've got a wee bit of stress as well. So do most of the guys here - they all find time to post roll and many of them have MADE time to get and stay active here. I hope you do too. I bet you'd have a lot to offer. I'd like to challenge you to find the time to be an asset to your group. If not on roll - get some cell numbers and call or text a few of your fellow quitters. It might seem like it's helping them and it is. It won't take you too long to see that it helps you even more though.
Again, welcome
Invest in your quit by investing in your quit group- best path for success is to take the time to make yourself successful. This site has all the tools you need but you have to use this site to it's full potential. Just like Mich 34 stated get involved, get plugged in, help others, doing these things will only strengthen your quit.
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It's ok you were a little late on the intro, some of us are aware you crashed on an island that tends to move around all by itself and you we a little "lost"...
I used to love watching that show. It got a little weird towards the end. But still a pretty damn good show. LOST.
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Welcome! Sounds like you're busy. I have a wife, kids and own a business in Michigan - great place to work, at least if you don't like money. So I get it, I'm busy too, I've got a wee bit of stress as well. So do most of the guys here - they all find time to post roll and many of them have MADE time to get and stay active here. I hope you do too. I bet you'd have a lot to offer. I'd like to challenge you to find the time to be an asset to your group. If not on roll - get some cell numbers and call or text a few of your fellow quitters. It might seem like it's helping them and it is. It won't take you too long to see that it helps you even more though.
Again, welcome
Your point is certainly well made and im certainly not the only one who is busy. i hear you loud and clear, I will make the time and appreciate all of you commenting and your words of advice...
Except for my wolverine friend..haha... Just kidding, he's on the short list of maize and blue supporters I give a pass to :)
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Today the train is heading back to the land of O H I O to pickup Oceanic815, but by judging his avatar it would be safe to say this is no buckeye fan. Oceanic815 is single with no kids 'Cheers' that has been a dipper for almost a decade.
Here is what he had to say, "I think that the hardest part and where KTC was helpful was that someone was doing it too and was aware that I wasn't supposed to be. Accountability on this site is actually rather striking for me, as for a long time friends, family and everyone else could not get me to do it, but having this site made a huge difference. Plus I think you have to be in the right place and some of the wisdom of other dippers who are tired and fed up with it controlling them helps move you along to the place where you can hear that advice. I think along with that the roll call makes you make your choice for the day and the rest is easy after you start doing it a few times. Along with that is the sense of support in people looking out for each other and knowing where to come in the case of an impending cave. I will be staying for the next 100 days for sure and hope that I can be better about posting earlier in the day despite a crazy work schedule."
Welcome aboard the train Oceanic815!!!
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Congrats on your HOF Oceanic, great having you as a Duck Fip!
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Congrats for making HOF. That is huge!
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I have never hung out with so many quitters....Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!
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Congrats on reaching HoF!