KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: jslaught on September 20, 2011, 02:32:00 PM
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My name is Jeff Slaughter...I've been dipping Cope Long Cut since I was 16 years old. I quit while I was in boot camp, then got out and celebrated with a dip...Biggest Mistake Ever....I'm now 29 years old, and God only knows how much cash I've tossed aside on this junk. I'm married, have a wonderful 3 year old, and every reason under the sun to kill the can. But I've failed at every attempt. My wife and I have fought over this time and again, and I have no defense. Never have.
After failing every time, I got to the point where I just felt defeated, depressed, and knew I let my wife and daughter down. Every time I put a pinch in I felt guilty, but it was not enough to make me stop. I use it to cope w/ stress, and to simply have something to do. Well, things are changing.
I'm pumped I found this site. And I have an open and honest dialogue going with my wife about this soon to be gone habit. I've decided my quit day will be tomorrow, (my first post was to the Dec group saying it was today, but I had already had a pinch this morning and need to be completely honest.) I'm still not clear on how to join a group and post roll call, but thats tonights homework. Thanks in advance for all the upcoming support and I hope after I make it to the hall of fame, I can meet some of my other brothers in Houston.
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My name is Jeff Slaughter...I've been dipping Cope Long Cut since I was 16 years old. I quit while I was in boot camp, then got out and celebrated with a dip...Biggest Mistake Ever....I'm now 29 years old, and God only knows how much cash I've tossed aside on this junk. I'm married, have a wonderful 3 year old, and every reason under the sun to kill the can. But I've failed at every attempt. My wife and I have fought over this time and again, and I have no defense. Never have.
After failing every time, I got to the point where I just felt defeated, depressed, and knew I let my wife and daughter down. Every time I put a pinch in I felt guilty, but it was not enough to make me stop. I use it to cope w/ stress, and to simply have something to do. Well, things are changing.
I'm pumped I found this site. And I have an open and honest dialogue going with my wife about this soon to be gone habit. I've decided my quit day will be tomorrow, (my first post was to the Dec group saying it was today, but I had already had a pinch this morning and need to be completely honest.) I'm still not clear on how to join a group and post roll call, but thats tonights homework. Thanks in advance for all the upcoming support and I hope after I make it to the hall of fame, I can meet some of my other brothers in Houston.
Welcome,
Dump the can now, and post day one. That is honest! Wait until tomorrow morning and there's going to be another reason why its not a good day to quit.
Go to the Welcome Center (pink/salmon link) on the top of the screen to learn how to post roll call. Your quit group is December.
Glad to be quit with you. Let me know how I can help.
Steve
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My name is Jeff Slaughter...I've been dipping Cope Long Cut since I was 16 years old. I quit while I was in boot camp, then got out and celebrated with a dip...Biggest Mistake Ever....I'm now 29 years old, and God only knows how much cash I've tossed aside on this junk. I'm married, have a wonderful 3 year old, and every reason under the sun to kill the can. But I've failed at every attempt. My wife and I have fought over this time and again, and I have no defense. Never have.
After failing every time, I got to the point where I just felt defeated, depressed, and knew I let my wife and daughter down. Every time I put a pinch in I felt guilty, but it was not enough to make me stop. I use it to cope w/ stress, and to simply have something to do. Well, things are changing.
I'm pumped I found this site. And I have an open and honest dialogue going with my wife about this soon to be gone habit. I've decided my quit day will be tomorrow, (my first post was to the Dec group saying it was today, but I had already had a pinch this morning and need to be completely honest.) I'm still not clear on how to join a group and post roll call, but thats tonights homework. Thanks in advance for all the upcoming support and I hope after I make it to the hall of fame, I can meet some of my other brothers in Houston.
As long as you got rid of all your dip before you got here or posted roll, then count is as day 1. I was in the same boat as you. Finished my tin by noon and found this site looking for alternatives to dip. Found this site. They said just mark that day as my first day.
Good to see you make it here. Best decision of your life as long as you want it badly enough.
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Done...Just tossed the rest...thanks guys. Looking forward to posting roll tomorrow.
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JSlaught. Just remember, post roll first thing every day if you can. One day at a time. Come bitch to us. Blog on your introduction, join the chat. Anything to keep your ass away from the Nic Whore. We are all going through/have gone through what you are dealing with and we understand. We also understand that there are ways to get through it and caving is just a pussy ass excuse. I quit with you today brother. Make a plan for when the craves come on. Gum, candy, hooch, anything to occupy your oral fixation until the craving passes. Food is ok too for now. Don't worry about getting fat, you can deal with that shit after you've walked through the fog.
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My plan for when the craves come:
At home: have sex or
At work: can't stand the guy that sits next to me so I'm either a) going to hit him in the arm, or B) going to gnaw on this gay little notebook he carries around, and maybe still hit him.
In the car: Scream and chew on my wallet and jam to one of many Tool CDs
I remember them all to well and I'll be damned if I let them get me this time. Bring it on
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My plan for when the craves come:
At home: have sex or
At work: can't stand the guy that sits next to me so I'm either a) going to hit him in the arm, or B) going to gnaw on this gay little notebook he carries around, and maybe still hit him.
In the car: Scream and chew on my wallet and jam to one of many Tool CDs
I remember them all to well and I'll be damned if I let them get me this time. Bring it on
Good deal BUT
At home: keep in mind your hands/arms may fall off with that much work
At work: you won't be able to hit the guy hard enough enough because your arms are sore. Chew the gay notebook instead.
In the car: sounds like a good plan
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My plan for when the craves come:
At home:Â have sex or
At work:Â can't stand the guy that sits next to me so I'm either a) going to hit him in the arm, or B) going to gnaw on this gay little notebook he carries around, and maybe still hit him.
In the car: Scream and chew on my wallet and jam to one of many Tool CDs
I remember them all to well and I'll be damned if I let them get me this time. Bring it on
Good deal BUT
At home: keep in mind your hands/arms may fall off with that much work
At work: you won't be able to hit the guy hard enough enough because your arms are sore. Chew the gay notebook instead.
In the car: sounds like a good plan
This guy sounds like a KTC quitter already!!!!! :blink:
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Sgt Slaughter!
Post roll EVERY DAY. Quit one day at a time. Do whatever it takes to keep nicotine out of your body. Gnaw on gay men's notebooks, peckers..whatever it takes! Read everything you can on this website. These guys saved my life and as a community, we will save yours. Commit to your quit, own your quit. Accountability is key..post roll, talk shit, rage on...do whatever but get some skin in the game. exchange phone numbers with the psychos quitters in your group. PM me if you need/want another phone number. I'm here with you and I have not forgotten the shitty days. That's what keeps me quit!
Miles - 197 days and counting
READ SOME HALL OF FAME SPEECHES! These quitters inspire me EVERY DAY to stay quit.
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My name is Jeff Slaughter...I've been dipping Cope Long Cut since I was 16 years old. I quit while I was in boot camp, then got out and celebrated with a dip...Biggest Mistake Ever....I'm now 29 years old, and God only knows how much cash I've tossed aside on this junk. I'm married, have a wonderful 3 year old, and every reason under the sun to kill the can. But I've failed at every attempt. My wife and I have fought over this time and again, and I have no defense. Never have.
After failing every time, I got to the point where I just felt defeated, depressed, and knew I let my wife and daughter down. Every time I put a pinch in I felt guilty, but it was not enough to make me stop. I use it to cope w/ stress, and to simply have something to do. Well, things are changing.
I'm pumped I found this site. And I have an open and honest dialogue going with my wife about this soon to be gone habit. I've decided my quit day will be tomorrow, (my first post was to the Dec group saying it was today, but I had already had a pinch this morning and need to be completely honest.) I'm still not clear on how to join a group and post roll call, but thats tonights homework. Thanks in advance for all the upcoming support and I hope after I make it to the hall of fame, I can meet some of my other brothers in Houston.
Hey, Jeff, Welcome. I think you have the right attitude, recognize that you're an addict, and know you need help. And that's what we're here for, to give and get the help we all need.
You're joining a great quit group which is really pulling together and helping each other out. Remember than when you post roll, it's your commitment to everyone at KTC that you absolutely will not use nicotine that day, come what may. No excuses.
Your commitment lasts exactly one day. So you only have to keep it for one day. That's your goal. Don't worry about making it to the HOF at 100 days, or even a month. The days will add up by themselves. You just focus on this day, the one you have control over right now. Your goal is no nicotine today. Then come back tomorrow and make the same commitment.
That's how every quitter here does it.
See you in the morning.
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Day 2...It hasn't been as bad as I expected...I have a headache an can't concentrate on anything, but all in all no where near as bad as last time. I'm brushing my teeth every time I want to toss one in, so I'm up to 5 times today. I'm pretty sure everyone at my office thinks I'm OCD or something, but who cares.
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Day 2...It hasn't been as bad as I expected...I have a headache an can't concentrate on anything, but all in all no where near as bad as last time. I'm brushing my teeth every time I want to toss one in, so I'm up to 5 times today. I'm pretty sure everyone at my office thinks I'm OCD or something, but who cares.
You need to chew on some sunflower seeds, red hots, atomic fireballs, straws....something to help with the oral fixation.
Drink lotsa water too.
Hang tough buddy. It gets drastically better.
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Ya, been hitting up the sunflower seeds pretty hard...Figured the brushing of the teeth would help with the nasty ass color they are right now. I'm hanging in there. The hardest part was to accept the fact that I will NEVER do this again. It was easy to accept while I was in bootcamp. I didn't have access to it. But, right now, all I have to do is walk across the street to the convenient store.
I'm old fashioned in the sense that I think the guy should take care of the cars, i.e. get the gas, change the oil, etc...But, right now I really don't trust myself to go get gas. Gonna make my wife do it, just to make sure I stay the hell away.
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Ya, been hitting up the sunflower seeds pretty hard...Figured the brushing of the teeth would help with the nasty ass color they are right now. I'm hanging in there. The hardest part was to accept the fact that I will NEVER do this again. It was easy to accept while I was in bootcamp. I didn't have access to it. But, right now, all I have to do is walk across the street to the convenient store.
I'm old fashioned in the sense that I think the guy should take care of the cars, i.e. get the gas, change the oil, etc...But, right now I really don't trust myself to go get gas. Gonna make my wife do it, just to make sure I stay the hell away.
Dont worry about never doing this again. Forever is a long time. Just worry about your promise that you will not chew today. Don't worry about tomorrow, next week, or next year. When you wake up tomorrow, thats when you post roll and concentrate on quitting on the new day.
Take it day by day, and early on take it hour by hour if you need to. Each day without Nic in your system, the easier things get. Remember how shitty you feel now, so in the future you will think twice before ever having to put your self through this again.
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At home:Â have sex or
Gonna make my wife do it, just to make sure I stay the hell away.
Sounds like the wife may just get real tired of your ass before long, especially when she realizes the controlling effect nicotine was having on your sex drive before. :o
'crackup'
Welcome, Jeff. You can do this, especially if your wife is in your corner. Hang in there, it gets much better.
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So....Day 3...Think I'm just going to forget numbering the days...Each day is day one. Guess that makes it much easier for me to think about; its a hell of a lot easier to get to one than it is to ten. Anyways, still sticking to this and going strong. Its great to have all the support. As opposed to the last times I tried to quit, I told everyone I was quiting this time, at work, home, friends, family. They all are holding me accountable now and giving me some support. Makes it a hell of a lot easier.
However, this weekend might be a little tough. Heading out for opening weekend of South Zone dove season. We'll be at our deer lease and w/ a bunch of other country back woods dudes who dip like there is no tomorrow. Any advice on this one is welcome....
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So....Day 3...Think I'm just going to forget numbering the days...Each day is day one. Guess that makes it much easier for me to think about; its a hell of a lot easier to get to one than it is to ten. Anyways, still sticking to this and going strong. Its great to have all the support. As opposed to the last times I tried to quit, I told everyone I was quiting this time, at work, home, friends, family. They all are holding me accountable now and giving me some support. Makes it a hell of a lot easier.
However, this weekend might be a little tough. Heading out for opening weekend of South Zone dove season. We'll be at our deer lease and w/ a bunch of other country back woods dudes who dip like there is no tomorrow. Any advice on this one is welcome....
You should pick up some fake stuff! Also....and I know this will be tough.......lay off the booze. Don't know if you are a drinker or not but if you are hanging out with buddies that dip and drinking heavily yourself you may end up caving due to not thinking clearly due to the alcohol! Just my 2 cents..........hope it helps
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That's what I was thinking...As hard as it will be, I'm planning on staying sober. It's only a two day trip, and one of the days will be spent mostly on our lease working. And we always stop at a smokehouse on the way down there and pick up some jerkey, so figured I could load up on that. I've tried the fake snuff, and i'm not really a fan. Besides, I don't want to replace the habit w/ something that similar, I don't want anything between my cheek and gum anymore.
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Day 7 and making it happen....I feel like I have enough will power and self restraing to do just about anything right now. Got back from the weekend hunting trip and didn't have anything besides some seeds between my cheek and gum...This was hard as hell to do, since everyone there dips or smokes, but the only form of nicotine I had was unwanted second hand smoke that I couldn't get away from. On the drive home yesterday, I don't think I've felt that good in a while...Just proud I stuck to it, and I really felt like its for good this time. I know its not over yet, but I feel like this weekend was a huge test and I passed w/ flying colors.
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Day 7 and making it happen....I feel like I have enough will power and self restraing to do just about anything right now. Got back from the weekend hunting trip and didn't have anything besides some seeds between my cheek and gum...This was hard as hell to do, since everyone there dips or smokes, but the only form of nicotine I had was unwanted second hand smoke that I couldn't get away from. On the drive home yesterday, I don't think I've felt that good in a while...Just proud I stuck to it, and I really felt like its for good this time. I know its not over yet, but I feel like this weekend was a huge test and I passed w/ flying colors.
:)
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Day 7 and making it happen....I feel like I have enough will power and self restraing to do just about anything right now. Got back from the weekend hunting trip and didn't have anything besides some seeds between my cheek and gum...This was hard as hell to do, since everyone there dips or smokes, but the only form of nicotine I had was unwanted second hand smoke that I couldn't get away from. On the drive home yesterday, I don't think I've felt that good in a while...Just proud I stuck to it, and I really felt like its for good this time. I know its not over yet, but I feel like this weekend was a huge test and I passed w/ flying colors.
I remember the first day I passed a big self imposed mental test, the freedom was intoxicating. I am very happy for you, keep up the great work.
I am proud to quit with you today.
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Day 7 and making it happen....I feel like I have enough will power and self restraing to do just about anything right now. Got back from the weekend hunting trip and didn't have anything besides some seeds between my cheek and gum...This was hard as hell to do, since everyone there dips or smokes, but the only form of nicotine I had was unwanted second hand smoke that I couldn't get away from. On the drive home yesterday, I don't think I've felt that good in a while...Just proud I stuck to it, and I really felt like its for good this time. I know its not over yet, but I feel like this weekend was a huge test and I passed w/ flying colors.
I remember the first day I passed a big self imposed mental test, the freedom was intoxicating. I am very happy for you, keep up the great work.
I am proud to quit with you today.
This is one of the "personal victories" I keep referring to. Congrats on your success. These things strengthen your quit many times over, don't they?
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Absolutely....Its honestly sparking a total life change...I'm seeing who I am right now in a different light and realize the need to change a lot of things about me. I've started to eat better, excercise much more, and have become very forthcoming w/ my wife about everything....That sounds much worse than it is, but I was constantly lying about this deceased habit of mine, and occassionally would catch myself telling a lie about what this 5$ was for or that 10$ was for. I couldn't be happier that I came across this site. All the support is awesome and really encouraging, and it keeps me honest and accountable everyday.
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Absolutely....Its honestly sparking a total life change...I'm seeing who I am right now in a different light and realize the need to change a lot of things about me. I've started to eat better, excercise much more, and have become very forthcoming w/ my wife about everything....That sounds much worse than it is, but I was constantly lying about this deceased habit of mine, and occassionally would catch myself telling a lie about what this 5$ was for or that 10$ was for. I couldn't be happier that I came across this site. All the support is awesome and really encouraging, and it keeps me honest and accountable everyday.
The best. Awesome. Keep up the work. We read your posts and share in your victories. We are here if you need help as well. Just halla'
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Day 8...not sure, but think I'm entering the fog...Been kind of irritable, nothing much, but more than usual...But the biggest difference is I keep saying the most random shit. It's like I don't have a filter, and whatever pops into my head gets blurted out. Then, after a minute or two, I think about it and just wonder why I said that. I also keep forgetting things. I guess I'm not really paying close enough attention, or I get distracted easily. Lack of focus mainly. Any suggestions?
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Day 8...not sure, but think I'm entering the fog...Been kind of irritable, nothing much, but more than usual...But the biggest difference is I keep saying the most random shit. It's like I don't have a filter, and whatever pops into my head gets blurted out. Then, after a minute or two, I think about it and just wonder why I said that. I also keep forgetting things. I guess I'm not really paying close enough attention, or I get distracted easily. Lack of focus mainly. Any suggestions?
I kinda liked the fog, I found it relaxing. In all seriousness the only things that helped me were workouts, I found that if I could work up a good sweat and really get the blood flowing my head would clear for awhile.
You are doing great, keep it up. Whether it's the suck, the fog, or irritatiblity they all improve a ton with each day.
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Day 8...not sure, but think I'm entering the fog...Been kind of irritable, nothing much, but more than usual...But the biggest difference is I keep saying the most random shit. It's like I don't have a filter, and whatever pops into my head gets blurted out. Then, after a minute or two, I think about it and just wonder why I said that. I also keep forgetting things. I guess I'm not really paying close enough attention, or I get distracted easily. Lack of focus mainly. Any suggestions?
You might be entering the fog if ............
- I keep saying the most random shit.
- I also keep forgetting things.
- I get distracted easily.
Yep. You are in the fog. You might turn on your fogtard lights. It will just last a few weeks. You can do it.
That said, lets start a list.
You might be entering the fog if ............
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You might be entering the fog if....damit...I can't even concentrate long enough to come up w/ a good answer.
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Man, tough day at work today...It was the first time I really REALLY wanted a dip...Said no though, went up and down 10 flights of stairs twice, instead. Glad I stayed quit.
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Man, tough day at work today...It was the first time I really REALLY wanted a dip...Said no though, went up and down 10 flights of stairs twice, instead. Glad I stayed quit.
Do what you gotta do to keep nicotine away..you signed roll this morning so nicotine wasn't even an option...right?
Don't let your pea-sized brain (at least mine is pea-sized) try to justify why you can have dip. Tell it to STFU.
Great job defending against the urge..they will come and go..
'winker'
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Man, tough day at work today...It was the first time I really REALLY wanted a dip...Said no though, went up and down 10 flights of stairs twice, instead. Glad I stayed quit.
Do what you gotta do to keep nicotine away..you signed roll this morning so nicotine wasn't even an option...right?
Don't let your pea-sized brain (at least mine is pea-sized) try to justify why you can have dip. Tell it to STFU.
Great job defending against the urge..they will come and go..
'winker'
Run stadiums...now that's a novel solution. Sure will get the thought of a lipper out of your mind.
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Guess what, jslaught? I didn't believe when people said the crave would get less intense. I'm just 30 days in and can say with certainty that the craves become VERY manageable. You got to get through the dark shit before you can see the light. Keep it strong, jslaught. I'm with you bro.
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This shit is starting to suck...Posted Roll, and definitely not waivering, just bitching out loud.
So how long is this "Fog" bull shit supposed to last??? Starting to feel like I swallowed a handful of retard pills and washed them down w/ stupid juice.
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This shit is starting to suck...Posted Roll, and definitely not waivering, just bitching out loud.
So how long is this "Fog" bull shit supposed to last??? Starting to feel like I swallowed a handful of retard pills and washed them down w/ stupid juice.
Here is a pretty accurate timeline of what to expect.
http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp (http://www.killthecan.org/yourquit/what.asp)
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Day 16...A little easier now, but golf was brutal this weekend...However, shot a hell of a lot better than I ever had before.
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Day 16...A little easier now, but golf was brutal this weekend...However, shot a hell of a lot better than I ever had before.
I am right there with you..I am on day 16 too. I have not golfed or fished since I threw nic out....It is promising for me to hear about your game actually improving. I could use a whole lot of improving in my golf game. Hell, maybe everything gets better without that nic bitch on our shoulders...if so, I waiting way too long to throw her out. Keep up the quit!
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Golf was pretty tough, but far and away easier than going dove hunting....Once I made it through that weekend (which was the first weekend of my quit), I knew I was through...Keep it up and stay quit with me. I think the fog is starting to lift a bit, so I know its getting better.
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day 17...Not really expecting anyone to keep reading this. I'm keeping this as a daily log and to constantly keep my quit on my mind. I'm feeling good, and think my brother is going to join me in quiting smoking. I referred him to the "whack the pack" website and am going to press his ass to log on. I think i'm fogless now too...But, I'm still having a little trouble w/ dealing with some stuff. Its been kind of difficult to find another way to cope w/ some of the stress. However, its made my wife and I talk much more about a variety of things, so thats definitely good.
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day 17...Not really expecting anyone to keep reading this. I'm keeping this as a daily log and to constantly keep my quit on my mind. I'm feeling good, and think my brother is going to join me in quiting smoking. I referred him to the "whack the pack" website and am going to press his ass to log on. I think i'm fogless now too...But, I'm still having a little trouble w/ dealing with some stuff. Its been kind of difficult to find another way to cope w/ some of the stress. However, its made my wife and I talk much more about a variety of things, so thats definitely good.
When I read this I was number 529. Just sayin. Keep up the quit. Keep writing.
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to constantly keep my quit on my mind.
That's how you protect it. Keep an eye on it. Know that its the thing that's important right now.
I love my quit. Truly. Because I believe I'm worth something more.