KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: beast42a on February 08, 2015, 11:34:00 AM
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I'll start this intro by say "Better Late than Never"....today is 08Feb2015 and i've been Quit for 55days. I Quit on 16Dec2014 @ 1100hrs and found KTC that evening...My first 10 days were miserable. I couldn't figure out how to post roll (which irritated me to no end because i thought i was pretty computer savvy), so writing an introduction was the last thing on my mind. Also, i kept telling my self that "Only an Idiot would Quit over Xmas"....my daughter was home from school and my son was home from the Army...so, kids are home, wife is in stage 3 panic - trying to make sure everything is perfect for xmas....and here i am - big, angry, ass hole, who wants to snap the head off something......Finally - xmas is over...everything is settling down...wifey's not pissed at me for whatever....i log on to KTC on 28Dec...first time since my Day 1....there is a message from Mat849 that had been sitting there since my day 1...i read and responded...within an hour, i had another message from Mat849....he passed on some great advise about being quit and the importance of Posting Roll......at the time i didn't really "get" the whole post roll thing....this is what he said "Roll is the most important thing we do here. First thing in the morning promise yourself and everyone here that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Wake up the next day and repeat. Quit one day at a time, ODAAT.".....after i read that...i posted rolled ( i'm sure i fucked it up and bumped half a days worth of quitters) and i've been posting roll every morning since.
I started dipping around Feb/March 1986....i credit Skoal/Hawkin/Kodiak for getting me thru Ranger School....shortly after that i graduated to Copenhagen....after i started chewing Copenhagen, there was no going back to anything else....i was chewing 1 to 1.5 cans a day for nearly 29 years....dipped always and everywhere.... I was good at it...i would make a dip plan in my head on how i was going to dip in any given situations. On the plane, graduations, ballet recitals, i was able to dip everywhere. Never much worried about health...Had Cancer in 1993....Lost a nut to testicular cancer... Cancer couldn't kill me then - certainly won't kill me now....i've completed 5 combat tours ( 1 x Haiti in 95, 4 x Afghanistan in 03,05,06,09)....been shot at with rifles, machine guns, mortars, rockets...been blown up...i survived it all.....Copenhagen was with me all the way......
Finally, one day, i woke the fuck up....i'm nearly 52....all i think about is how am i going to dip....if i loose my tin or forget it at home - I'm in a mild panic until i can buy another one.....you think to your self for a minute...that is soo fucked up and wrong....i gotta quit...but how...i go just a couple hours with out dip and my body turns inside out....when i did quit on 16Dec - i wasn't sure how long it would last... i quit cold turkey and thankfully i found KTC that evening.....on day 3 of my quit i went to a hypnotist....can't confirm or deny how much it helped....but i'm pretty sure it didn't hurt....he asked me to make a list of reason i want to quit and triggers.....i called it my Dippers Manifesto....see below
When do I Dip / Triggers
Basically from the time I wake up to the time I go to bedÂ….iÂ’m DippingÂ….only time IÂ’m not dipping is when IÂ’m either sleeping, eating , or fuckingÂ….
Work Day*morningÂ…put in a dip as I leave the house to drive to workÂ…0500am
*at workÂ…at my deskÂ….before the morning callÂ…after the morning callÂ…..after I kick out the crew
*when IÂ’m working on the computerÂ…doing reportsÂ….using the MSOC systemÂ….going thru emailÂ….responding to emailÂ….dipping dipping dipping
*working in the yard at workÂ…moving reelsÂ…inventoryÂ….moving suppliesÂ…moving stuff around I the yard with the BobcatÂ…..anything outside requires a dip
*when IÂ’m in my work truckÂ….visiting crewsÂ….checking on jobsÂ….anytime outside the officeÂ…dipping
*driving home from workÂ…..dip dip dip
*At home….(when I’m not at work)….i’m dipping……after I get up….eat a bit – then dip
*working around the houseÂ….dippingÂ….any home projectÂ….dippingÂ….tinkering in the garageÂ….dipping.. tinkering in the basementÂ…dippingÂ….cleaning the house / laundry / vacuumingÂ…dip dip dip
*working in the yard at homeÂ…..dippingÂ….mowing the yardÂ….dippingÂ…..
*walking to the gymÂ…dippingÂ…after I work outÂ…dipping
*after a mealÂ….DippingÂ…..cleaning up the dishesÂ….dippingÂ…..after dishesÂ…new dipÂ…Â…..
*at home relaxing with my laptop on my lapÂ….dippingÂ….then more dipÂ….unit I go to bed
*watching TVÂ…watching a movieÂ…dip dip dip
*Misc dippingÂ…*shooting gunsÂ… Â….riding motorcycleÂ…..fishingÂ…..must dipÂ…dip dip dipÂ…Â…
*anytime IÂ’m wearing my uniform (army)Â….must have a dipÂ….army = dip
*road tripÂ….gotta dipÂ….longer the driveÂ…the more dip required
*drinking beerÂ…dip dip dip
*movie theaterÂ….on a planeÂ…in a hotelÂ…at the beachÂ…..dip dip dip
*watching sportsÂ…football / hockeyÂ….anythingÂ….TV or LiveÂ…dip dip dip
*shovel snowÂ…snow blowerÂ….dip dip dip
**Any situation where IÂ’m not sleepingÂ….dip dip dip
Why am I quittingÂ…Â…Â…for startersÂ….no one (wife / kids/work) has pushed me to quitÂ….this is all me
*its timeÂ…..started dipping in March 1986Â…..been going strong sinceÂ….anywhere from 1 can a day to 5/7 cans a weekÂ….lets call that 28yrs /9 monthsÂ…that would be 345 months / 1498 week / 10, 490 daysÂ…@ an average of $3 a can over the 28+years at lets just say 5 cans a weekÂ…that would be 1498 weeks x 5 = 7490 cans x 3 = $22,470
*HealthÂ….blood pressure is highÂ…donÂ’t want to go on meds
*cancerÂ….bad bad badÂ….donÂ’t want my face to fall offÂ….want to be kissable
*not all that interested in dying earlyÂ…..watched both my parents die from smoking related issuesÂ….not prettyÂ….you lingerÂ…suffer and linger some moreÂ…..bad way to goÂ….even worse for the family to watch
* may some day have grand kidsÂ…donÂ’tÂ’ want to have to explain what grandpas got in his mouth
*tired of being addictedÂ….need to drop the dependencyÂ….donÂ’t want to plan in my head how IÂ’m gonna dip every time we go somewhere
*most people probably donÂ’t think I can do itÂ….fuck em
*grossÂ….probably not a cool looking as I thought it was
*costÂ….not cheapÂ….$25+ each week
*sometimes I have to go looking for itÂ….if my store doesnÂ’t have itÂ….minor panic unit I find it
*its just badÂ…bad habitÂ…bad addictionÂ….i should know betterÂ…..time to stopÂ….for nobody else but my selfÂ…..if it helps me get laid a little bit more along the wayÂ….even better
**if I start back upÂ….iÂ’m nothing more than a weak little pussyÂ…Â…
QUIT date time: 16Dec2014Â…1100hrs
i have a copy of this in my truck - folded up and stuffed in my visor.....i refer to it often
OK...so theres my late Intro....i hope to refer back to this on day 100 and every other step after that
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I'll start this intro by say "Better Late than Never"....today is 08Feb2015 and i've been Quit for 55days. I Quit on 16Dec2014 @ 1100hrs and found KTC that evening...My first 10 days were miserable. I couldn't figure out how to post roll (which irritated me to no end because i thought i was pretty computer savvy), so writing an introduction was the last thing on my mind. Also, i kept telling my self that "Only an Idiot would Quit over Xmas"....my daughter was home from school and my son was home from the Army...so, kids are home, wife is in stage 3 panic - trying to make sure everything is perfect for xmas....and here i am - big, angry, ass hole, who wants to snap the head off something......Finally - xmas is over...everything is settling down...wifey's not pissed at me for whatever....i log on to KTC on 28Dec...first time since my Day 1....there is a message from Mat849 that had been sitting there since my day 1...i read and responded...within an hour, i had another message from Mat849....he passed on some great advise about being quit and the importance of Posting Roll......at the time i didn't really "get" the whole post roll thing....this is what he said "Roll is the most important thing we do here. First thing in the morning promise yourself and everyone here that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Wake up the next day and repeat. Quit one day at a time, ODAAT.".....after i read that...i posted rolled ( i'm sure i fucked it up and bumped half a days worth of quitters) and i've been posting roll every morning since.
I started dipping around Feb/March 1986....i credit Skoal/Hawkin/Kodiak for getting me thru Ranger School....shortly after that i graduated to Copenhagen....after i started chewing Copenhagen, there was no going back to anything else....i was chewing 1 to 1.5 cans a day for nearly 29 years....dipped always and everywhere.... I was good at it...i would make a dip plan in my head on how i was going to dip in any given situations. On the plane, graduations, ballet recitals, i was able to dip everywhere. Never much worried about health...Had Cancer in 1993....Lost a nut to testicular cancer... Cancer couldn't kill me then - certainly won't kill me now....i've completed 5 combat tours ( 1 x Haiti in 95, 4 x Afghanistan in 03,05,06,09)....been shot at with rifles, machine guns, mortars, rockets...been blown up...i survived it all.....Copenhagen was with me all the way......
Finally, one day, i woke the fuck up....i'm nearly 52....all i think about is how am i going to dip....if i loose my tin or forget it at home - I'm in a mild panic until i can buy another one.....you think to your self for a minute...that is soo fucked up and wrong....i gotta quit...but how...i go just a couple hours with out dip and my body turns inside out....when i did quit on 16Dec - i wasn't sure how long it would last... i quit cold turkey and thankfully i found KTC that evening.....on day 3 of my quit i went to a hypnotist....can't confirm or deny how much it helped....but i'm pretty sure it didn't hurt....he asked me to make a list of reason i want to quit and triggers.....i called it my Dippers Manifesto....see below
When do I Dip / Triggers
Basically from the time I wake up to the time I go to bedÂ….iÂ’m DippingÂ….only time IÂ’m not dipping is when IÂ’m either sleeping, eating , or fuckingÂ….
Work Day*morningÂ…put in a dip as I leave the house to drive to workÂ…0500am
*at workÂ…at my deskÂ….before the morning callÂ…after the morning callÂ…..after I kick out the crew
*when IÂ’m working on the computerÂ…doing reportsÂ….using the MSOC systemÂ….going thru emailÂ….responding to emailÂ….dipping dipping dipping
*working in the yard at workÂ…moving reelsÂ…inventoryÂ….moving suppliesÂ…moving stuff around I the yard with the BobcatÂ…..anything outside requires a dip
*when IÂ’m in my work truckÂ….visiting crewsÂ….checking on jobsÂ….anytime outside the officeÂ…dipping
*driving home from workÂ…..dip dip dip
*At home….(when I’m not at work)….i’m dipping……after I get up….eat a bit – then dip
*working around the houseÂ….dippingÂ….any home projectÂ….dippingÂ….tinkering in the garageÂ….dipping.. tinkering in the basementÂ…dippingÂ….cleaning the house / laundry / vacuumingÂ…dip dip dip
*working in the yard at homeÂ…..dippingÂ….mowing the yardÂ….dippingÂ…..
*walking to the gymÂ…dippingÂ…after I work outÂ…dipping
*after a mealÂ….DippingÂ…..cleaning up the dishesÂ….dippingÂ…..after dishesÂ…new dipÂ…Â…..
*at home relaxing with my laptop on my lapÂ….dippingÂ….then more dipÂ….unit I go to bed
*watching TVÂ…watching a movieÂ…dip dip dip
*Misc dippingÂ…*shooting gunsÂ… Â….riding motorcycleÂ…..fishingÂ…..must dipÂ…dip dip dipÂ…Â…
*anytime IÂ’m wearing my uniform (army)Â….must have a dipÂ….army = dip
*road tripÂ….gotta dipÂ….longer the driveÂ…the more dip required
*drinking beerÂ…dip dip dip
*movie theaterÂ….on a planeÂ…in a hotelÂ…at the beachÂ…..dip dip dip
*watching sportsÂ…football / hockeyÂ….anythingÂ….TV or LiveÂ…dip dip dip
*shovel snowÂ…snow blowerÂ….dip dip dip
**Any situation where IÂ’m not sleepingÂ….dip dip dip
Why am I quittingÂ…Â…Â…for startersÂ….no one (wife / kids/work) has pushed me to quitÂ….this is all me
*its timeÂ…..started dipping in March 1986Â…..been going strong sinceÂ….anywhere from 1 can a day to 5/7 cans a weekÂ….lets call that 28yrs /9 monthsÂ…that would be 345 months / 1498 week / 10, 490 daysÂ…@ an average of $3 a can over the 28+years at lets just say 5 cans a weekÂ…that would be 1498 weeks x 5 = 7490 cans x 3 = $22,470
*HealthÂ….blood pressure is highÂ…donÂ’t want to go on meds
*cancerÂ….bad bad badÂ….donÂ’t want my face to fall offÂ….want to be kissable
*not all that interested in dying earlyÂ…..watched both my parents die from smoking related issuesÂ….not prettyÂ….you lingerÂ…suffer and linger some moreÂ…..bad way to goÂ….even worse for the family to watch
* may some day have grand kidsÂ…donÂ’tÂ’ want to have to explain what grandpas got in his mouth
*tired of being addictedÂ….need to drop the dependencyÂ….donÂ’t want to plan in my head how IÂ’m gonna dip every time we go somewhere
*most people probably donÂ’t think I can do itÂ….fuck em
*grossÂ….probably not a cool looking as I thought it was
*costÂ….not cheapÂ….$25+ each week
*sometimes I have to go looking for itÂ….if my store doesnÂ’t have itÂ….minor panic unit I find it
*its just badÂ…bad habitÂ…bad addictionÂ….i should know betterÂ…..time to stopÂ….for nobody else but my selfÂ…..if it helps me get laid a little bit more along the wayÂ….even better
**if I start back upÂ….iÂ’m nothing more than a weak little pussyÂ…Â…
QUIT date time: 16Dec2014Â…1100hrs
i have a copy of this in my truck - folded up and stuffed in my visor.....i refer to it often
OK...so theres my late Intro....i hope to refer back to this on day 100 and every other step after that
This is awesome. I love how exacting you are with your quit date. You seem very serious about your quit, and don't ever let that dissipate. Continue to post roll EDD and reach out and make friends. What has helped myself in my quit so much is my attitude. On the good days- have fun with it and pay it forward! On the rough days- Reach out for help or post in here how you feel. That way you can go back and appreciate the road you have travelled thus far. Keep up the good work. PM me if you want a contact.
-Jerk11
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Awesome Intro, beast. I've been quitting with you for a few weeks now. I got your back, bro.
QLF EDD
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Awesome beast42a! I'm 50 been an addict for 38 years. Thanks for watching over my ass while I was probably out fishing. You service guys and gals are great! Sound like like your pretty tough olé cat! Proud to be quit with you my friend!
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Beast!! Well done sir, that is how you post an introduction.
Post roll and and read everything on this website.
Get active and stay active, you will beat this addiction!
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Proud to be quit with you in March Beast42a! I see we are on the same day!
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Beast!! That was one hell of an intro. Your story bolsters my quit. I dipped for 37 of my 49 years and now quit for 236 day. Reading of how you've dealt with very real crisis like combat and cancer, but felt the twinge of panic at the thought of being without your tin reminds us of just how insidiously it worked its way into every corner of our lives.
You are putting it behind you now. Hell Yeah! I quit with you today.
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Welcome beast! Great intro my friend. You are in the right place. Post roll EDD... focus on today only ... get active on the site....and fight for your freedom like you did during all those combat tours! I am quit with you today.
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100 days, beast-mode. Congratulations!
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100 days, beast-mode. Congratulations!
Nice hundy ... go do it again!!
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Well done Beaster.. Enjoy the hundy.
I quit with EDD ODAAT.
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Beast, you are a BAQ for sure. Glad to be in March Rage with you, bro! Big congrats on 100 days.
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Beast thanks for all your support for me, apes and all the fellows on here you take timeout to help! Congrats on your HOF you're a keeper!
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Beast thanks for all your support for me, apes and all the fellows on here you take timeout to help! Congrats on your HOF you're a keeper!
HOF man, congrats!
BAQ!
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i meant to get back to this on my HOF day and update...but once again better late than never.....i'm at 129 today...i'll be posting 130 tomorrow morning......this is about 125 days longer than any other quit/stoppage i've had since Feb1986....so i've got that going for me and thats nice
Not sure if its the change in weather or maybe just a post HOF funk...but these past few weeks have been a little rough....not week 1 or 2 rough....just harder than i guessed it would be at this point in my quit.....any way...its nothing that i can't manage.....at times when i'm feeling tweekish, i spend a little more time on this site or jump on LiveChat.....
Its become very clear that the HOF (100days) is just another day...there was no miracle feeling of euphoria that day....the fun bus (with midgets, strippers, and balloons) didn't stop by the house and pick me up....the HOF is just the first piss stop on very long road to happy town....its an accomplishment that i'm very proud of and i don't plan on repeating that 1st 100 days ever again.....i've mentioned this a few times over the last couple days and i truly believe it: I dipped for 29 years, there is no way I can be anything near cured after 100 days...I did this to myself and I'll be fighting this bitch for a long time
There are a few vets and ragers I'd like to mention....these BAQs have helped me get this far:
Mat849 (if u didn't PM me on day 1 - i never would have stayed), Candoit, Tuco, Jabr, Pre, Med, Bro.....sorry if i missed anyone
I Quit Like Fuck every day.... i do that for myself, my family, and my March Rage Brothers
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Congrats 200!
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Congrats 200!
Congratulations brother on the 200! Keep giving as well as receiving! Got alot of folks that admire you! I'm one of them, damn proud to be quit with you today!
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Thank you for being a huge support in our quit group, and thank you for your service.
People will never understand the sacrifices you made, and all we can say is thank you for the shit you had to deal with so we didn't have to.
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Thank you for being a huge support in our quit group, and thank you for your service.
People will never understand the sacrifices you made, and all we can say is thank you for the shit you had to deal with so we didn't have to.
This ^^^^. Thanks Beast.
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Beastie, thank you for your support and my HOF coin.
Congrats on your 1 year quit!
I quit with you today.
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Beastie, thank you for your support and my HOF coin.
Congrats on your 1 year quit!
I quit with you today.
Nice job quitting Beast, now hike up the quit-pants and resume! See you on roll for 366 ...
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Beastie, thank you for your support and my HOF coin.
Congrats on your 1 year quit!
I quit with you today.
Nice job quitting Beast, now hike up the quit-pants and resume! See you on roll for 366 ...
First of all thank you for your service! You're a badass at everything on here ,therefore I know your a badass everywhere! Thanks Beast it does my heart good to see you bring like you do everyday! Quit on my friend!
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Beastie, thank you for your support and my HOF coin.
Congrats on your 1 year quit!
I quit with you today.
Nice job quitting Beast, now hike up the quit-pants and resume! See you on roll for 366 ...
First of all thank you for your service! You're a badass at everything on here ,therefore I know your a badass everywhere! Thanks Beast it does my heart good to see you bring like you do everyday! Quit on my friend!
Sorry I'm late on this, but congrats on the Full Year Quit and counting. Although, not really surprised after seeing your opening post on this Intro. Keep being the Leader you were meant to be!
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Beastie,
400 days.
That's Badass. Thanks for leading the way and giving support always. It doesn't go unnoticed our unappreciated my friend.
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Beastie,
400 days.
That's Badass. Thanks for leading the way and giving support always. It doesn't go unnoticed our unappreciated my friend.
Thanks beast! Damn proud to know such a fine fellar as yourself! Congratulations on the 4th floor!
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'Birthday'
Beast... Enjoy your day, dip free. You should still be here with us. Juss' sayin'
:wub:
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Damn...... Beast...... Damn!
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Damn...... Beast...... Damn!
Ditto...... HB Quitter.