KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: SkylineGTR on November 14, 2007, 03:59:00 AM
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Hey, my name's Ryan and I'm 20. I tried chew a few times in high school, but was too lazy to find someone over 18 to buy it for me. After I turned 18 I did one semester of school but was undecided what I wanted to do so I took a semester off and started working in a grocery warehouse. Well, it's real easy to dip at work there and I started again. Started in January at a tin a week, and by March I was at basically a tin a day. I had to quit cold turkey in July of that year (2006) because I was going on a 6 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend. I didn't find it hard to quit at all, partly because I knew she was disgusted by it and partly because I couldn't find anything in the countries I visited. She never knew I dipped.
So here I am, about a year and a half later, and I'm at a steady 1/2 a can pace. I always brush my teeth right after, but I noticed my gums are starting to pull back a bit and I decided this is a waste of money and want to quit. It's just been so damn hard, I was off it for maybe a week and then exams rolled around and I was super stressed so sitting in the library studying at school it was easy to keep a tin on me and dip while I was there.
I always told myself I wasn't addicted and could quit anytime I wanted to, but I find myself saying that after finishing a tin one night, telling myself I'm going to quit. But by the next night I've bought another one and I do the same thing over and over again.
Not only am I doing this for health reason, but I'm sick of hiding this shit. I still live at home and my parents obviously don't know and it makes me nervous. I'll sit in my room and do homework with a dip, and if they come in unexpectedly I've swallowed more than I care to remember. I have probably 30 empty spitters sitting under my bed and I'm constantly nervous they're going to find them and be a whole world of pissed. Same with my girlfriend coming over, I've left cans of dip in the same drawer I keep condoms and I'll actually hold off on sex for fear of her finding it. I've also noticed I'm getting more moody and this just needs to stop. I can't afford this either, assuming I've been on a low 1 can every 3 days pace for the past year at 7.75 a can that's almost $1000 wasted on absolutely nothing.
I've got ~4 tins half full sitting around here, I'm going to finish these off hopefully at a slower pace than normal, and then quit cold turkey. An Uncle of mine used the fake stuff that's herbal to help him quit, so I think I'm going to do the same. He said it helped him when he got the craving for a dip, the action of throwing one in and grabbing a spitter would usually help subside his cravings.
If anybody doesn't think they can get addicted or that it's easy to quit, as I'm sitting here typing this I have a lip full of skoal straight. :angry: :(
So day one of no dipping starts this Thursday or Friday, whenever I finish what I have here. This weekend is going to be a big test, I'm helping a friend drop the motor back into his car and the 3 people who are going to be there are all dippers, and usually dip what I like.
Not only that, but I think I'm going to tell my girlfriend. I don't want to tell my parents, but I think I could use her support and help with getting through this.
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I was sitting here looking at what I have left, and I decided to say screw it, I don't need this shit. I had to take a dump, so I emptyed out all my dip into the toilet and took a large crap on top of it. It was the most enjoyable flush I have ever had.
So help me god, even if I need to leave my debit card at home and only bring 6 bucks with me so I can't buy another can, I will do this.
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Skyline - you have made a great choice. Your quit group is February 2008 (http://z11.invisionfree.com/QS_Xtreme/index.php?showtopic=758). You can head over there now and post roll. You will find other people at about the same stage you are now.
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Skyline...don't be a dumbass. Flush the tin and get on with it. We both know you'll make a million different excuses not to quit before Thurs or Fri.
Flush it now and make roll call...by Monday, you'l feel much much better
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I can't tell you guys how much of an inspiration this has been for me already.
Anytime I have tried to get some friends to help me quit they either say "Don't be a pussy, it's not going to kill you" or just shrug it off like it's nothing. I don't have a lot of friends that know I dipped, and most of them who I tried to talk to just looked at me like I'm disgusting for doing it. But seeing everyone else on here who has been determined, and made roll call for 600+ days and has gotten over their habbit is good to see.
I did flush that last crap down the toilet, and I'm feeling good about it.
I also got the courage to tell my girlfriend, and told her about this site. I was expecting her to be angry, but she was just upset that I didn't tell her sooner. She's promised to help me through it, and her support means the world to me.
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That's good news...Now read a lot of stuff on the sites (www.kilthecan.org (http://www.kilthecan.org) and here), make a plan, get to know the people, sign roll call, and commit to staying quit.