KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Vguy on February 16, 2015, 06:07:00 PM
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I'm done. Finally pissed off enough to stop after letting this crap own me since I first tried it at age 15. Coming out of the fog and using the "I don't do that any more" self talk. Can't wean off of it, and can't ever try it again. Balls to the wall and I've thrown down the gauntlet. Thanks for posting some is the QWA articles. I needed that. Hey dip... 'Finger'
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I see you threw a post into May ... good job bro, and welcome! I also see you're another "seasoned" in age quitter, which is awesome, because we may be old but we saw all the cool bands live!
I sent you a PM. Check your Inbox (top right of your screen). You can do this bro, welcome to the nut house. We've got your back if you need it. I quit with you today!
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I'm done. Finally pissed off enough to stop after letting this crap own me since I first tried it at age 15. Coming out of the fog and using the "I don't do that any more" self talk. Can't wean off of it, and can't ever try it again. Balls to the wall and I've thrown down the gauntlet. Thanks for posting some is the QWA articles. I needed that. Hey dip... 'Finger'
Welcome Vguy,
You old bast#d!! About time you came to your senses.
I can say that cause I did the same thing at the same age. Miracle 50 the way I see it, tired of it, and no point in ever touching it again.
It doesn't help us DO ANYTHING BETTER!! Thats old thinking and it is a LIE!
Congrats on getting involved, you need us, and we need you.
Learn how to post roll in April. I noticed you have been there but go again and tell them this is your first day at KTC and let them know how many days you are quit and ask how to post roll. You will do that every day, making a promise not too touch any nicotine poison of any kind for 24 hours. Repeat early again next morning.
If you can't figure it out pm me through your inbox.. Top right corner and I'll walk you through it.
I quit with you today.
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From another "Seasoned" one. Welcome to the nut house. I just turned 50 and am proud to say that I have been clean for 353 days. If I can whoop this shit, so can you.
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From another "Seasoned" one. Welcome to the nut house. I just turned 50 and am proud to say that I have been clean for 353 days. If I can whoop this shit, so can you.
You had me at 'Finger'
Welcome aboard!
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Lots of rage in the early quit; glad to see you know where to focus it! You can do this.
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Lots of rage in the early quit; glad to see you know where to focus it! You can do this.
From another old bastards welcome aboard! We are here for you! Yep pretty much everything your reading is are has happened during this suck of quitting! Damn proud to be quit with you my friend! ODAAT! EDD!
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I'm quit with you, brother, after using for 34 years. Good job making the decision and finding you way here. Shoot me a PM if I can do anything for you.
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I'm done. Finally pissed off enough to stop after letting this crap own me since I first tried it at age 15. Coming out of the fog and using the "I don't do that any more" self talk. Can't wean off of it, and can't ever try it again. Balls to the wall and I've thrown down the gauntlet. Thanks for posting some is the QWA articles. I needed that. Hey dip... 'Finger'
Welcome to the best of Your life!
Balls to the wall quit like fuck every damn day works!
ODAAT and NAFAR, period
Stick around and Your quit will stick, I promise!
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Welcome V! Listen to the vets and read all you can. Above all else post every day!
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Posted roll....check
Have an anger at the situation you are in.....check
Realize that you are a filthy addict who will go back to a dipping life with one cave...check.
I like what I have read. Get after this!
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welcome aboard
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Thanks to all! Day 7. Last 24 had me buying jerky and fake chew to get through the post dinner craves, but doing ok. Major BS at work, but I haven't done the "I need a dip to handle the stress" thing. My wife...who is awesome about this....got an earfull when she tried to be understanding about a work political decision and how it was "even worse because of what I was trying to quit". I stopped that shit real quick and told her that I needed her to not make excuses or give me anything but shit if I started to wimp out or whine. We also made one last sweep of the house to make sure there wasn't any dip, gum, or patches hiding around. I also just realized that what I've spent on dip over the years would have bought me a brand new F250 4x4 crew cab with most of the bells and whistles......funny how the mind works when you're in the fog and trying to stay pissed off.
Still quit. Still struggling. Still glad I found you guys.
Dave
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Thanks to all! Day 7. Last 24 had me buying jerky and fake chew to get through the post dinner craves, but doing ok. Major BS at work, but I haven't done the "I need a dip to handle the stress" thing. My wife...who is awesome about this....got an earfull when she tried to be understanding about a work political decision and how it was "even worse because of what I was trying to quit". I stopped that shit real quick and told her that I needed her to not make excuses or give me anything but shit if I started to wimp out or whine. We also made one last sweep of the house to make sure there wasn't any dip, gum, or patches hiding around. I also just realized that what I've spent on dip over the years would have bought me a brand new F250 4x4 crew cab with most of the bells and whistles......funny how the mind works when you're in the fog and trying to stay pissed off.
Still quit. Still struggling. Still glad I found you guys.
Dave
Bitch on brother comes with territory! Dipped 38 years on day 53! I've used all the damn excuses not to quit same as you and used all the excuses to start back just like you! But just like you I found this place and when I post roll in the morning(odaat!)(edd!) I give my word and just like you I keep my word! I'm here 24-7, pm me with anything! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Thanks to all! Day 7. Last 24 had me buying jerky and fake chew to get through the post dinner craves, but doing ok. Major BS at work, but I haven't done the "I need a dip to handle the stress" thing. My wife...who is awesome about this....got an earfull when she tried to be understanding about a work political decision and how it was "even worse because of what I was trying to quit". I stopped that shit real quick and told her that I needed her to not make excuses or give me anything but shit if I started to wimp out or whine. We also made one last sweep of the house to make sure there wasn't any dip, gum, or patches hiding around. I also just realized that what I've spent on dip over the years would have bought me a brand new F250 4x4 crew cab with most of the bells and whistles......funny how the mind works when you're in the fog and trying to stay pissed off.
Still quit. Still struggling. Still glad I found you guys.
Dave
Keep killing it Dave, and congrats on the week of quit ... that's bad-ass! I see you reaching out in other intros, exactly what you need to do to build that brotherhood!
Remember, we here are the ones you need to vent and rage on ... it's normal as your body fights what it's going through. Take it out on us, because we understand ... not at home.
This link may help your wife understand ... I would share it with her. Click here for Spousal Support (http://www.killthecan.org/community/spousal-support/)
As always, quitting with you bro!
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Day 8. Thanks for Pab and Smeds and all the inspiration I've read here.
Tough week. Stupid shit at work based on a lot of PC crap. I deal with some very tough kids who need a lot of help at times and come from group homes. They don't have a ton of support nor the skills that would make life easier for them, and it can be rough for them to try and deal with all their crap and go to school. The districts don't want to pay for them to go where they should be going to get the help they need, so they shove them into regular schools and cross their fingers that we'll get them through. Doesn't always work, and when the shit hits the fan, the folks at the top are looking for a way to CYA. Pisses me off and stresses me out to see them treat people this way.
I'm quit, but I swear this is the type of crap that would have made me head straight for a big ol dip in the past, so it's been a hard week. Not sure why I decided to do this now with all of this other stuff going on, but maybe it's because it's something I can control and I need to control this. Just been kicking this idea around.
We've also been talking about getting out of Socal, and just found out that it really benefits us financially to stay for 4 more years. Don't plan on retiring, but the ability to keep my insurance if I stay till 55 makes future choices better. That kills me as I've been stuck here wanting to leave since my divorce in 2000, but I swore that my kids would never miss me and I was and am in their lives every day as they grew up. Now that they are all moved out or off at college, we could get out and get back to a simpler, saner lifestyle with closer hunting, fishing, camping and less crazy political concepts...(gotta love/hate Ca).
Sorry for the ramble. Don't like being addicted to chew. Don't like being stuck here. Don't like working for people who are spineless. Just stoking my rage a bit this morning, I guess. Thanks for listening.
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That is why we are here. Rant away brother, just don't dip.
One of the idioms that gets me through is "A problem plus a dip = 2 problems". We all have hard jobs and days at work, but slowly killing ourselves isn't a solution. Do you have quitters in you phone yet? That can make a world of difference!
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My friend that's what we call rage! Bitch here it helps! Something to Naw on, will the next person give a shit about these kids like you do? Not always in the best interest to just think of ourselves. Don't know why I said that but it was on my heart hard so it was meant to be! Stay focused and busy helps the mind stay ready for the next crave! I'm at 54 days not a day has went by I haven't at least thought about it but I'm loving life again and will remain quit ODAAT! EDD! Pm me anytime!
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Day 10.
So excited that I stayed up until midnight just to post....like I was busting through the yellow tape at the end of a race.....lmao.
Woke up this morning and missed the routine of posting roll...so I did it again and it felt much better.
Weird last couple of days. Work is still strange....hopefully some resolution next week. I honestly don't give a shit about it right now since getting through this is the most important thing for my real future. The job is the job is the fucking job...and the assholes remain the assholes and remain in charge. LOL Hasn't changed much in my 30 years or working, so don't know why I expect this to be any different. :)
On Thursday, I got tired of sitting around waiting for work to follow up with me, so I decided to get out and do something I would enjoy. Went to see American Sniper again...just me and about 8 other 11:45am mid-week viewers. Thought about you guys when I saw the group bond and the support that they gave each other, and it made me glad that I found this place and even more certain in my decision to honor my quit. After the show, went to the range and worked through my routine. Shot better than I've shot in a while...don't know if that was all the focused energy, anger, or a clear, non-nicotine brain, but it worked.
On Friday, I was responding to a post by a girlfriend of a dipper, and in the middle of my post, I realized that my wife looked at me differently since I owned up and stopped chewing. When we were dating and first married, she used to say, "You're the best guy I know". I liked it, but it embarrassed me and I didn't think I deserved it. After 12 years together, sometimes that look and those phrases fade....you miss them, but don't see anything major that is different and you really haven't changed your feelings on it...but it just quietly sneaks away? This week, however, I'm starting to see that from her again. It's a look in her eye that I honestly didn't know was missing but felt it all the same. It's time together to talk when she doesn't have to stare at my full lip or turn her cheek when she kisses me hello or goodbye. It's the absence of that pinched face/nose when I get into the truck and she can smell the dip (and I thought I was being discrete). It's the YEARS of seeing, smelling, tasting that shit vicariously and worrying/waiting/knowing that it may be the thing that kills me and takes me away from her yet.
If she truly believes that I am the best guy she knows, what kind of strength does it take to stand by me for the past 12 years and let me be a dumbfuck? I quit for me, but I have a newfound respect for my wife and for all of our wives that stick with us.
I'm an addict and an asshole....not sure how that qualifies for best guy she knows...but I think I need to get to work on actually earning that title.
Oh..yeah.....I'm sitting behind a fucking keyboard crying that I little fucking baby while I type this......not a pretty picture...and now I'm laughing my ass off thinking about how this must look. Glad everyone's still in bed this morning.
Day 10 Still Quit Still lucky Still fightin the fight
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Vguy, great post, you are winning and investing in your quit. We are lucky men that have amazing women supporting us.
Keep it up, proud to quit with you!
Idaho Spuds
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Quit on brother! Nothing to be ashamed of crying sometimes better than laughter! Think about man your crying because of what you've accomplished just wait my friend it only gets better! Why would we ever go back! Just remember were addicts and always will be! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Smells like some strong quit going on in here...
I quit with you today.
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Day 11. Had a great day yesterday. Headed out for breakfast with my wife and then on to Ontario for a guy day...with my wife...lol. We started at Bass Pro...walked the whole damn store dreamin and schemin'. Headed over to Ammo Bros after that, and almost made it to the 5.11 store before they closed. It was fun hanging out....I even went grocery shopping with her...not sure if it was a fair trade or not, but we had a great time without dip taking up space between us. (she is not a fan, however, of the smell of the fake Walmart chew brand!) Me either...if you guys have anything that comes close to Cope snuff and has less of a smell than the Walmart fake stuff, let me know)
Got home, unpacked the groceries, and went to get my cart ready for Cowboy Action Shooting today (but it's going to rain us out...) As I was cleaning up my cart and refilling my ammo boxes, I found a half empty can of pouches in my cart from last month's shoot. No desire to do it.....but I went inside immediately, grabbed my wife, and had her come out and help me do a more thorough search of the garage. We found a couple of very old and dry cans in my motorcycle bags buried under other crap. Flushed it all right away. That was too close, so we went through every cabinet and jacket and backpack etc. we could find just to make sure one didn't sneak up on me at some point.
Interesting to involve her in the search. I think it makes a big difference that she is part of this with me and doesn't mind helping. I know it's good for me in that I don't have to shoulder that weight/worry alone. I'm a bit old fashioned in that I always want to protect my wife and family from the things I can protect them from.....but this is something that impacts them in so many ways even if I stay healthy in the future...that they deserve to feel like they are a part of it and that they are important to my quit. I also called all four of my kids last night and told them what I was doing, where I was in my journey, and I sent them the link on what to expect and a few other links from this site. I didn't think it was a big deal, but their overwhelming happiness in my choice and the hope in my two girl's voices ( made them sound like they were back at age 3 again) made me realize the weight they had been carrying for me all these years. The guy whose biggest goal was to protect them had been putting all the extra fear and dread in their minds and hearts by forcing them to see something I didn't choose to fight off that could take me away and leave them on their own.
I hate the nic bitch even more today. 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'stick' 'bangin' 'chain' 'biggun' 'BanDog' 'Remshot'
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Day 11. Had a great day yesterday. Headed out for breakfast with my wife and then on to Ontario for a guy day...with my wife...lol. We started at Bass Pro...walked the whole damn store dreamin and schemin'. Headed over to Ammo Bros after that, and almost made it to the 5.11 store before they closed. It was fun hanging out....I even went grocery shopping with her...not sure if it was a fair trade or not, but we had a great time without dip taking up space between us. (she is not a fan, however, of the smell of the fake Walmart chew brand!) Me either...if you guys have anything that comes close to Cope snuff and has less of a smell than the Walmart fake stuff, let me know)
Got home, unpacked the groceries, and went to get my cart ready for Cowboy Action Shooting today (but it's going to rain us out...) As I was cleaning up my cart and refilling my ammo boxes, I found a half empty can of pouches in my cart from last month's shoot. No desire to do it.....but I went inside immediately, grabbed my wife, and had her come out and help me do a more thorough search of the garage. We found a couple of very old and dry cans in my motorcycle bags buried under other crap. Flushed it all right away. That was too close, so we went through every cabinet and jacket and backpack etc. we could find just to make sure one didn't sneak up on me at some point.
Interesting to involve her in the search. I think it makes a big difference that she is part of this with me and doesn't mind helping. I know it's good for me in that I don't have to shoulder that weight/worry alone. I'm a bit old fashioned in that I always want to protect my wife and family from the things I can protect them from.....but this is something that impacts them in so many ways even if I stay healthy in the future...that they deserve to feel like they are a part of it and that they are important to my quit. I also called all four of my kids last night and told them what I was doing, where I was in my journey, and I sent them the link on what to expect and a few other links from this site. I didn't think it was a big deal, but their overwhelming happiness in my choice and the hope in my two girl's voices ( made them sound like they were back at age 3 again) made me realize the weight they had been carrying for me all these years. The guy whose biggest goal was to protect them had been putting all the extra fear and dread in their minds and hearts by forcing them to see something I didn't choose to fight off that could take me away and leave them on their own.
I hate the nic bitch even more today. 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'stick' 'bangin' 'chain' 'biggun' 'BanDog' 'Remshot'
Rock on V family is life we all missed alot thanks to the olé nic bitch! Enjoy your new life, you deserve it! Damn proud to be quit with you my friend!
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very powerful posts Vguy!
thank you for sharing my quit is stronger having read them!
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Love the chronicle of quit going on in here Dave ... it's going to be awesome to reflect on as you distance yourself further and further from the "old" Dave, and embrace every decision of freedom that smart sumnabitch "new" Dave makes! Quitting with you again today bro, keep killing it!
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Day 12:
Still dealing with work shit that is bullshit, but beyond my control. I've spent a couple of weeks thinking about all of the options, and I would not have changed my approach nor my process, so the chips will fall where they will fall and I'll figure it out.
In a strange way, this has helped my quit. It's given me a need to control something that I can control (the dip) and to validate that I have the strength to do the right thing even when it's hard as shit (the dip and standing up for the right thing in a bureaucratic bullshitfest). Both of those skills are much needed in the situation I'm dealing with here.
Today, I'm giving a double wave to both the nic bitch and the people that deserve the crappy world lacking in values, morals, and an overall sense of what's right vs. what's expedient that they help create.
'Finger' 'Finger'
Guess what? I'm still quit and I still have my dignity and honor.
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Day 12:
Still dealing with work shit that is bullshit, but beyond my control. I've spent a couple of weeks thinking about all of the options, and I would not have changed my approach nor my process, so the chips will fall where they will fall and I'll figure it out.
In a strange way, this has helped my quit. It's given me a need to control something that I can control (the dip) and to validate that I have the strength to do the right thing even when it's hard as shit (the dip and standing up for the right thing in a bureaucratic bullshitfest). Both of those skills are much needed in the situation I'm dealing with here.
Today, I'm giving a double wave to both the nic bitch and the people that deserve the crappy world lacking in values, morals, and an overall sense of what's right vs. what's expedient that they help create.
'Finger' 'Finger'
Guess what? I'm still quit and I still have my dignity and honor.
I love this dudes attitude! Proud to quit with you every day. You bring a good vibe to the Fn' Misfits! Keep killing it bro
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Day 12:
Still dealing with work shit that is bullshit, but beyond my control. I've spent a couple of weeks thinking about all of the options, and I would not have changed my approach nor my process, so the chips will fall where they will fall and I'll figure it out.
In a strange way, this has helped my quit. It's given me a need to control something that I can control (the dip) and to validate that I have the strength to do the right thing even when it's hard as shit (the dip and standing up for the right thing in a bureaucratic bullshitfest). Both of those skills are much needed in the situation I'm dealing with here.
Today, I'm giving a double wave to both the nic bitch and the people that deserve the crappy world lacking in values, morals, and an overall sense of what's right vs. what's expedient that they help create.
'Finger' 'Finger'
Guess what? I'm still quit and I still have my dignity and honor.
I love this dudes attitude! Proud to quit with you every day. You bring a good vibe to the Fn' Misfits! Keep killing it bro
Hi I'm 30isEnuff. I quit with YOU today V. Yes you are in control Today of the poison. The poison hasn't got a chance cause we "are quit". You keep doing this ODAAT and it will get better, stronger and clearer. We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Glad you are here and not in the local cancer ward.
Cheers.
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Day 12:
Still dealing with work shit that is bullshit, but beyond my control. I've spent a couple of weeks thinking about all of the options, and I would not have changed my approach nor my process, so the chips will fall where they will fall and I'll figure it out.
In a strange way, this has helped my quit. It's given me a need to control something that I can control (the dip) and to validate that I have the strength to do the right thing even when it's hard as shit (the dip and standing up for the right thing in a bureaucratic bullshitfest). Both of those skills are much needed in the situation I'm dealing with here.
Today, I'm giving a double wave to both the nic bitch and the people that deserve the crappy world lacking in values, morals, and an overall sense of what's right vs. what's expedient that they help create.
'Finger' 'Finger'
Guess what? I'm still quit and I still have my dignity and honor.
I love this dudes attitude! Proud to quit with you every day. You bring a good vibe to the Fn' Misfits! Keep killing it bro
Hi I'm 30isEnuff. I quit with YOU today V. Yes you are in control Today of the poison. The poison hasn't got a chance cause we "are quit". You keep doing this ODAAT and it will get better, stronger and clearer. We were not born with the poison in our mouths.
Glad you are here and not in the local cancer ward.
Cheers.
Yep. Great attitude.
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Day 15 was a bitch! Went back to work after a few days off and had to deal with triggers that I didn't realized existed. Driving to work, certain times of the work day etc. Also had to dig through my work stuff to make sure I got rid of any cans/gum/patches I had hiding there. Glad I did it and it was also good to bring in one of the ladies I work with whose husband has quit dipping to be my work check in person. The more accountability, the better. Off to work. Thanks for being here guys. I'll try to update more this weekend.
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Day 15 was a bitch! Went back to work after a few days off and had to deal with triggers that I didn't realized existed. Driving to work, certain times of the work day etc. Also had to dig through my work stuff to make sure I got rid of any cans/gum/patches I had hiding there. Glad I did it and it was also good to bring in one of the ladies I work with whose husband has quit dipping to be my work check in person. The more accountability, the better. Off to work. Thanks for being here guys. I'll try to update more this weekend.
Your doing great!
Triggers used to just straight piss me off... I mean seriously, around every corner!!
Actually for me breathing was a Trigger!
Learn to see each one as a success.
Every trigger defeated is a link of chain broken towards new freedom.
Well done Vguy. I quit with ya today.
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Day 15 was a bitch! Went back to work after a few days off and had to deal with triggers that I didn't realized existed. Driving to work, certain times of the work day etc. Also had to dig through my work stuff to make sure I got rid of any cans/gum/patches I had hiding there. Glad I did it and it was also good to bring in one of the ladies I work with whose husband has quit dipping to be my work check in person. The more accountability, the better. Off to work. Thanks for being here guys. I'll try to update more this weekend.
Your doing great!
Triggers used to just straight piss me off... I mean seriously, around every corner!!
Actually for me breathing was a Trigger!
Learn to see each one as a success.
Every trigger defeated is a link of chain broken towards new freedom.
Well done Vguy. I quit with ya today.
The more accountability, the better.
What you've got there's the key to quitsville, my man. 'archer'
It's a tangled web we weave.
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Day 22: I've actually mis-posted my quit days this week and shorted myself a day. Been a busy week getting back up and running at work and having the lacrosse season kick into high gear. My day runs from 545am through 10pm during season with practices from 7-9pm M-F, so I used to use dip to push my energy etc etc. I have to manage my sleep better and my diet is improving...if I don't, the 50 years of age I'm carrying starts me to dragging a little more than in the past.
I've found that working a bit early in the morning when my sleep is crappy now anyway allows me to grab a 30 minute power nap most days before practice and that seems to be helping.
Glad it's Friday. Big tournament for the girls tomorrow against four of the top teams in our area, so wish us luck.
Thanks for the kind words of support. I quit with you guys every damn day.
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Day 22: I've actually mis-posted my quit days this week and shorted myself a day. Been a busy week getting back up and running at work and having the lacrosse season kick into high gear. My day runs from 545am through 10pm during season with practices from 7-9pm M-F, so I used to use dip to push my energy etc etc. I have to manage my sleep better and my diet is improving...if I don't, the 50 years of age I'm carrying starts me to dragging a little more than in the past.
I've found that working a bit early in the morning when my sleep is crappy now anyway allows me to grab a 30 minute power nap most days before practice and that seems to be helping.
Glad it's Friday. Big tournament for the girls tomorrow against four of the top teams in our area, so wish us luck.
Thanks for the kind words of support. I quit with you guys every damn day.
Good luck with your tournament V! Most of all don't be telling these guy's you're getting a little tired at 50 that's my age and the guys in April give me hell about it, little do they know I could probably run circles around them but I am at that age where I don't have to prove myself anymore! Lol! Thought you might relate to that a little. Great job on your quit you're doing awesome! Need another older guy to talk at sometimes pm me get my number. Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
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Day 22: I've actually mis-posted my quit days this week and shorted myself a day. Been a busy week getting back up and running at work and having the lacrosse season kick into high gear. My day runs from 545am through 10pm during season with practices from 7-9pm M-F, so I used to use dip to push my energy etc etc. I have to manage my sleep better and my diet is improving...if I don't, the 50 years of age I'm carrying starts me to dragging a little more than in the past.
I've found that working a bit early in the morning when my sleep is crappy now anyway allows me to grab a 30 minute power nap most days before practice and that seems to be helping.
Glad it's Friday. Big tournament for the girls tomorrow against four of the top teams in our area, so wish us luck.
Thanks for the kind words of support. I quit with you guys every damn day.
Good luck with your tournament V! Most of all don't be telling these guy's you're getting a little tired at 50 that's my age and the guys in April give me hell about it, little do they know I could probably run circles around them but I am at that age where I don't have to prove myself anymore! Lol! Thought you might relate to that a little. Great job on your quit you're doing awesome! Need another older guy to talk at sometimes pm me get my number. Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Thanks. These young bastards got nothing on us!
We place third (out of 8) yesterday in the toughest bracket I've ever seen at this tournament. Our opponents were the top 4 teams from OC and the top 4 teams from LA counties. We played last year's county champs for third place, tied them 5-5, and beat them on goals against for the day. BIG win for the girls as they've been working on beating this team for 8 years and finally did it. Next step is a clean win, and we have them on our schedule this season.
I find I do a lot more as I get older because I tend to do it smarter and not waste time on the stupid shit. Like you said....I don't feel the need to prove myself or validate all the reasons why I do something to other people, and that save a ton of time and stress.
Getting rid of the dip just makes it easier to be clear and mindful of what I'm doing. Made it all day yesterday without even thinking of dip until I got in the truck at the end of the day and had to grab a fake one to get over the "end of the day you deserve a dip" mental ninja that tried to sneak up on me.
Hope you're all having a great weekend out there!
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Day 22: I've actually mis-posted my quit days this week and shorted myself a day. Been a busy week getting back up and running at work and having the lacrosse season kick into high gear. My day runs from 545am through 10pm during season with practices from 7-9pm M-F, so I used to use dip to push my energy etc etc. I have to manage my sleep better and my diet is improving...if I don't, the 50 years of age I'm carrying starts me to dragging a little more than in the past.
I've found that working a bit early in the morning when my sleep is crappy now anyway allows me to grab a 30 minute power nap most days before practice and that seems to be helping.
Glad it's Friday. Big tournament for the girls tomorrow against four of the top teams in our area, so wish us luck.
Thanks for the kind words of support. I quit with you guys every damn day.
Good luck with your tournament V! Most of all don't be telling these guy's you're getting a little tired at 50 that's my age and the guys in April give me hell about it, little do they know I could probably run circles around them but I am at that age where I don't have to prove myself anymore! Lol! Thought you might relate to that a little. Great job on your quit you're doing awesome! Need another older guy to talk at sometimes pm me get my number. Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
Thanks. These young bastards got nothing on us!
We place third (out of 8) yesterday in the toughest bracket I've ever seen at this tournament. Our opponents were the top 4 teams from OC and the top 4 teams from LA counties. We played last year's county champs for third place, tied them 5-5, and beat them on goals against for the day. BIG win for the girls as they've been working on beating this team for 8 years and finally did it. Next step is a clean win, and we have them on our schedule this season.
I find I do a lot more as I get older because I tend to do it smarter and not waste time on the stupid shit. Like you said....I don't feel the need to prove myself or validate all the reasons why I do something to other people, and that save a ton of time and stress.
Getting rid of the dip just makes it easier to be clear and mindful of what I'm doing. Made it all day yesterday without even thinking of dip until I got in the truck at the end of the day and had to grab a fake one to get over the "end of the day you deserve a dip" mental ninja that tried to sneak up on me.
Hope you're all having a great weekend out there!
V I will say you're absolutely correct on the mind clearing, it is what I'm enjoying the most with my quit! And the sress is so much easier to deal with! Ole nic hole been lying to us the whole time! Damn proud to be quit with you!
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Dave ... you're crushing this quit bro. Just wanted to drop in, and let you know I'm proud of your quit, you, and your attitude towards others (and their quits). Keep it up bud, freedom tastes great!
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Thanks, man. I appreciate knowing you and all the other brothers in quit be my back. Busy with work and coaching. Thirty days quit tomorrow and I used the money I've saved to be in Denver this weekend watching my oldest girl play lacrosse! Sitting in the denver ap now waiting for her to pick me up. Also booke my trip next month to Tennessee to see my youngest play and it's nice to do it all quit. I could not look them or my wife in the eye if I caved, and I know you guys would hunt me down and beat the shot out of me, so that ain't happenin. Have a great CLEAN weekend whether your cruising through the moment or wallowing in the suck....it gets better and is ALL worth it.
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Day 38. Glad to report that there has been no big drama. The fake dip has been useful when I needed to get over the hump, but the humps are fewer and further between now. I do always keep some fake, some jerky chew, and some gum near me or on me at all times. The post-food cravings are the only ones that seem to be more consistent and insistent now. I HATE how quickly that crave will come up occasionally, and I find that's when I use my fake the most. As long as it gets me through, I'm ok.
Emotional ups and downs are still there. Not sure how much they were there before or if they are tied to the dip as I probably just used the dip to push through in the past, so could be that they are consistent with before quitting but I'm just dealing with them head on more at the moment.
Ties to family seem stronger, and I'm taking the time to make them that way.
Grumpy....yep....at times.
Dreams....more than I remember lately...only occasional nic dreams.
Uncertainty and weird thoughts of my worthiness as a person, husband, father....occasionally and they come out of nowhere.
The more I think about it, the more I think it's just this thing called LIFE, and not using the nic bitch as a crutch just makes me notice it more these days? Not sure about that theory yet. Been focused on quitting, my family, and my girls that I coach in hs, and things are good.
Solid, reliable, and somewhat boring.....and I'm slowly getting used to that being ok....I think.
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Day 38. Glad to report that there has been no big drama. The fake dip has been useful when I needed to get over the hump, but the humps are fewer and further between now. I do always keep some fake, some jerky chew, and some gum near me or on me at all times. The post-food cravings are the only ones that seem to be more consistent and insistent now. I HATE how quickly that crave will come up occasionally, and I find that's when I use my fake the most. As long as it gets me through, I'm ok.
Emotional ups and downs are still there. Not sure how much they were there before or if they are tied to the dip as I probably just used the dip to push through in the past, so could be that they are consistent with before quitting but I'm just dealing with them head on more at the moment.
Ties to family seem stronger, and I'm taking the time to make them that way.
Grumpy....yep....at times.
Dreams....more than I remember lately...only occasional nic dreams.
Uncertainty and weird thoughts of my worthiness as a person, husband, father....occasionally and they come out of nowhere.
The more I think about it, the more I think it's just this thing called LIFE, and not using the nic bitch as a crutch just makes me notice it more these days? Not sure about that theory yet. Been focused on quitting, my family, and my girls that I coach in hs, and things are good.
Solid, reliable, and somewhat boring.....and I'm slowly getting used to that being ok....I think.
Welcome to the wonderful world without the nic bitch! It all gets better! Went through the emotional shit brought back memories of my kids going through puberty! Lol! world without nic? If you are anything like me I'm excited, somewhat leary to see what comes forward, see I've never been without since age 12 but I damn sure like what I'm feeling right now! You're solid quitter keep it that way! Damn proud to be quit with you today my friend!
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Stay strong Vguy... Your doing great.
Hard to make big decisions right now. Your still on the climb coming out of the hole. But every day you get cleaner air and more light to see with.
I expected quicker healing in the beginning but it's a slow go.
Looking back NOW after 124 days... I can see so much more than the first 30+
Keep adding those y+1 and you will be on top of the mountains before you know it.
Never turn back.. EDD ODAAT.
Quit with you today.
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Your kicking nic ass! Keep up the good work and I'm proud to be quit with you today!
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Day 44 Still quit.
Life is going well. Heading to watch my jv teams play some lacrosse and then heading over to the gun show to drool a bit and hang with my Cowboy Action buds. Should be a good, relaxing, dip-free day!
This was my morning yesterday as soon as I got to work. I'm the big guy black shirt bottom right.....working that radio as we evacuated the site. Bus driver did a great job! We both tried to knock it down with extinguishers while we waited for responders, but it was not slowing down a bit.
http://abc7.com/news/school-bus-erupts- ... ro/576459/ (http://abc7.com/news/school-bus-erupts-in-flames;-driver-hailed-as-hero/576459/)
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You are doing great with this quit Dave, keep it up. Hell yes it's an emotional roller coaster, but the ride is so very worth it! Congrats of the fight, proud to quit with you.
Video was scary, glad everyone was OK. Thank you for that service too!!
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Vguy you are a good one! Definitely gonna be a huge plus to ktc! Now continue to use your knowledge keep reaching out to others and it will continue to help you with your quit! Proud to be quit with you every day!
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You are doing great with this quit Dave, keep it up. Hell yes it's an emotional roller coaster, but the ride is so very worth it! Congrats of the fight, proud to quit with you.
Video was scary, glad everyone was OK. Thank you for that service too!!
That bus went up so fast, it caught us all off guard. Google some of the pics and other vid of it, and you'll review bus safety with your kids right away. When the tires and air tanks went, it got the blood pumping. It was a propane bus with tanks in the back, so we would have had a lot more to talk about if the first responders had not gotten there as quickly as they did.
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Day 50
Seems like it was a long time ago that I did this crap every day, but it also seems like it was just yesterday. This week has generally sucked and I've been jittery and using the fake a little more to get through the day. Way better than 50 days ago and I've taken the time to really remember how much that sucked so that I won't romance the nic bitch any. Yesterday almost seemed like the movie Groundhog Day with bs at work and all the other stressors that seemed to pile up and taunt me....I'm pretty sure it was just the bitch pushing me since she knew that the 50 was right around the corner and she was going to lose....again.
Kick some nic ass and keep quittin' gentlemen. Embrace the suck no matter when it shows up. As much as it sucks, you are still quit....and that's a damn good thing.
Hey nic......How about one for each day?
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
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Day 50
Seems like it was a long time ago that I did this crap every day, but it also seems like it was just yesterday. This week has generally sucked and I've been jittery and using the fake a little more to get through the day. Way better than 50 days ago and I've taken the time to really remember how much that sucked so that I won't romance the nic bitch any. Yesterday almost seemed like the movie Groundhog Day with bs at work and all the other stressors that seemed to pile up and taunt me....I'm pretty sure it was just the bitch pushing me since she knew that the 50 was right around the corner and she was going to lose....again.
Kick some nic ass and keep quittin' gentlemen. Embrace the suck no matter when it shows up. As much as it sucks, you are still quit....and that's a damn good thing.
Hey nic......How about one for each day?
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger' 'Finger'
Hey vguy doing great my friend! You got this, just keep doing what you're doing and realizing the olé nic whore gonna do everything possible to try get you back! Damn good to be quit with you today my brother!
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Day 73. Crazy busy week. My wife has been out of state working this week...normally a binge chew event...but not this week! I almost feel like my hard work staying quit is being acknowledged in some way by fate.....I know it's BS,but I think I'll go with it. Been one of the best weeks I can remember lately. In the last week, I've scored a mis-priced deal on a Kimber 1911 Raptor where the price was low enough to cover the cost of a new Remington 30.06 hunting rifle, had a great open house at school, had a positive presentation for incoming 6th graders, beat our crosstown rivals 19-17 in girls lacrosse, and my girls locked their league championship spot last night by beating Our final league opponent 18-11 on our senior night. I've been watching/helping kids reach their goals and head off into the world for 27 years, but I've never been in that bittersweet moment without nicotine. Absolutely nothing like it....and now I can hope to be around for a few more of those moments. QLF with all of you today. Still.
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Just read your intro Vguy and you have a solid foundation being built. Nice work. Keep going!
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Day 73. Crazy busy week. My wife has been out of state working this week...normally a binge chew event...but not this week! I almost feel like my hard work staying quit is being acknowledged in some way by fate.....I know it's BS,but I think I'll go with it. Been one of the best weeks I can remember lately. In the last week, I've scored a mis-priced deal on a Kimber 1911 Raptor where the price was low enough to cover the cost of a new Remington 30.06 hunting rifle, had a great open house at school, had a positive presentation for incoming 6th graders, beat our crosstown rivals 19-17 in girls lacrosse, and my girls locked their league championship spot last night by beating Our final league opponent 18-11 on our senior night. I've been watching/helping kids reach their goals and head off into the world for 27 years, but I've never been in that bittersweet moment without nicotine. Absolutely nothing like it....and now I can hope to be around for a few more of those moments. QLF with all of you today. Still.
Congratulations v guy that's called getting your freedom back and it feels damn good! Hang in there brother, right beside you in this fight, together we got this! Damn proud to be quit with you today my brother!
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1,000 days free is awesome! Congrats
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Well done coach!