KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: NappyJ36 on January 02, 2016, 10:40:00 PM
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Hello All,
I've been chewing for the most part since I was 18 and now am in my mid 20's. I was able to lay off for over a year starting in Oct 2013 but picked up the habit again in early 2015. I've known about this site since 2010 or so, but always thought I could "just quit on my own." Ive spent a good part of this year trying to quit but then giving in after a week or two.
I recognize that it is time to try a new path to finally kick this shit to the curb.
My last dip was on Dec 26th 2015. Currently 7 days free and will soon post roll call
Let's do this!
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PM sent man. I quit with you today. These guys and gals are awesome (as I'm sure you already know). Let's embrace the suck and get this shit on!
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Not a habit. You my friend are an addict. Cold Turkey is the only way to be quit. Good job on getting through the last 7 days on your own. Now read everything on here and learn how to post roll and DO IT DAILY. I started 674 days ago and haven't missed a day yet. It feels great to be free from the burden of nicotine.
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Hello All,
I've been chewing for the most part since I was 18 and now am in my mid 20's. I was able to lay off for over a year starting in Oct 2013 but picked up the habit again in early 2015. I've known about this site since 2010 or so, but always thought I could "just quit on my own." Ive spent a good part of this year trying to quit but then giving in after a week or two.
I recognize that it is time to try a new path to finally kick this shit to the curb.
My last dip was on Dec 26th 2015. Currently 7 days free and will soon post roll call
Let's do this!
Im glad you are here. I also scouted this site out long before I actually posted. Now I kick myself every day seeing people who actually got on here and quit when I was pussy footing around it. I have now posted every single day and been free from the poisonous weed for 309 days straight and I couldnt feel any better for it. This site works, but only if you work with it. It takes your commitment and developing the bonds around you. Dont just dip your toes, jump in headfirst!
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Great decision Nappy, post roll, get folks digits, and quit like fuck today!
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Post roll.
Dip is easy.
Quit is hard.
Quit is life.
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Having a rough time sleeping tonight (aided from too much energy drink caffeine).
Thank you to those that have reached out and given me encouragement. I'm definitely open to connecting with more of you.
Saw that this area is good for keeping a journal of things. Adding some of my random thoughts and reflections from the past 9 days. Apologies if this shit is too long or not the right place. Just feel like I need to vent and be honest with myself.
In no particular order
Reasons I feel better when I'm not chewing
1. Calmer, more at peace with my surroundings
2. Less anxious
3. Less on edge
4. No slimy feeling in throat and nose and teeth
5. Easier to breath, sinus don't feel stuffed
6. Easier to talk
7. Focus better, feel clear
8. Feel more optimistic
9. Little things don't bother me
10. Feel like have more time, not as rushed to finish tasks
Things I hate about withdrawing
1. Feeling that something is missing (no adrenaline rush)
2. The need of caffeine/coffee/soda/energy drinks to help
3. The mood swings (angry outbursts, moments of anxiety, and then random euphoria)
4. The fog (comes and goes whenever it wants)
5. That odd feeling of physical awareness that I don't notice when i'm chewing
6. Random headaches
7. Crazy lethargic
8. Weird, lucid dreams
9. The random thought I should take a dip and that it wont hurt in the long rub
10. The random thought that the next item on my to do list is have a dip
11. The anger that Ive wasted time of my life chewing - when I know I feel so much physically/mentally better happy when I don't use
Triggers
1. Free time/Down time/Boredom
2. Car rides / commute
3. After lifting or running
4. Conflicts w family, friends
5. Drinking
6. After food
7. New or unfamiliar people or situations
8. To focus on tasks like work projects or school
9. Chores, yard work
10. Life stresses
Why do I use chew as a crutch? It gives you that temporary feeling of invincibility and lowers that inhibition that holds you back. It makes you feel like it solves that anxiety or stress. It temporarily gives you that confidence and belief in yourself. When you were in your teens and early 20s you thought it made you look cool, like a rebel.
But it is all a temporary facade. A lie. It never actually does those things. You actually looked really fucking stupid.
You remember your first dip, it was with your buddies from freshman football walking to watch a varsity game. You had no idea what you were doing but grab a pinched of that Skoal Berry and threw it in your mouth. You almost threw up inside the stadium but managed to wash your mouth out in time. You had another one a few days after. You knew you liked it. It felt cool, you liked the feeling. You were soon chewing randomly here and there. Asking friends who were 18 to buy you cans, or finding the places that didnt ID. Most of your close friends chewed too. It was the cool thing to do. You finally turned 18 and were free to buy whatever you wanted. A can of grizzley wintergreen would last you 3-4 days. You knew you needed to stop but you just kept on dipping. By the time you were 25 you had tried "stopping" a few times but could never go more than a few days or weeks. You finally found some short term success in 2013-2014 and were able to put it away for over a year. But then you caved. You caved for reasons that look stupid in hindsight. And now here you are again..
But this time is different. This time you are putting the stubbornness aside. You finally recognize that you need a community of support. You need support from those that know how it feels, those who know how to deal with it. You know you are only 9 days in, and you know that real test comes in the long run, but this time you know you will arm yourself with the right tools and the right people. You have too much to live for, too much to experience, too much to achieve. The instant gratification of nicotine is just not worth it.
-
Having a rough time sleeping tonight (aided from too much energy drink caffeine).
Thank you to those that have reached out and given me encouragement. I'm definitely open to connecting with more of you.
Saw that this area is good for keeping a journal of things. Adding some of my random thoughts and reflections from the past 9 days. Apologies if this shit is too long or not the right place. Just feel like I need to vent and be honest with myself.
In no particular order
Reasons I feel better when I'm not chewing
1. Calmer, more at peace with my surroundings
2. Less anxious
3. Less on edge
4. No slimy feeling in throat and nose and teeth
5. Easier to breath, sinus don't feel stuffed
6. Easier to talk
7. Focus better, feel clear
8. Feel more optimistic
9. Little things don't bother me
10. Feel like have more time, not as rushed to finish tasks
Things I hate about withdrawing
1. Feeling that something is missing (no adrenaline rush)
2. The need of caffeine/coffee/soda/energy drinks to help
3. The mood swings (angry outbursts, moments of anxiety, and then random euphoria)
4. The fog (comes and goes whenever it wants)
5. That odd feeling of physical awareness that I don't notice when i'm chewing
6. Random headaches
7. Crazy lethargic
8. Weird, lucid dreams
9. The random thought I should take a dip and that it wont hurt in the long rub
10. The random thought that the next item on my to do list is have a dip
11. The anger that Ive wasted time of my life chewing - when I know I feel so much physically/mentally better happy when I don't use
Triggers
1. Free time/Down time/Boredom
2. Car rides / commute
3. After lifting or running
4. Conflicts w family, friends
5. Drinking
6. After food
7. New or unfamiliar people or situations
8. To focus on tasks like work projects or school
9. Chores, yard work
10. Life stresses
Why do I use chew as a crutch? It gives you that temporary feeling of invincibility and lowers that inhibition that holds you back. It makes you feel like it solves that anxiety or stress. It temporarily gives you that confidence and belief in yourself. When you were in your teens and early 20s you thought it made you look cool, like a rebel.
But it is all a temporary facade. A lie. It never actually does those things. You actually looked really fucking stupid.
You remember your first dip, it was with your buddies from freshman football walking to watch a varsity game. You had no idea what you were doing but grab a pinched of that Skoal Berry and threw it in your mouth. You almost threw up inside the stadium but managed to wash your mouth out in time. You had another one a few days after. You knew you liked it. It felt cool, you liked the feeling. You were soon chewing randomly here and there. Asking friends who were 18 to buy you cans, or finding the places that didnt ID. Most of your close friends chewed too. It was the cool thing to do. You finally turned 18 and were free to buy whatever you wanted. A can of grizzley wintergreen would last you 3-4 days. You knew you needed to stop but you just kept on dipping. By the time you were 25 you had tried "stopping" a few times but could never go more than a few days or weeks. You finally found some short term success in 2013-2014 and were able to put it away for over a year. But then you caved. You caved for reasons that look stupid in hindsight. And now here you are again..
But this time is different. This time you are putting the stubbornness aside. You finally recognize that you need a community of support. You need support from those that know how it feels, those who know how to deal with it. You know you are only 9 days in, and you know that real test comes in the long run, but this time you know you will arm yourself with the right tools and the right people. You have too much to live for, too much to experience, too much to achieve. The instant gratification of nicotine is just not worth it.
I gotta say, Nappy... This is one of the coolest posts I've seen in a long time.
Quit on brotha, this made my day.
'oh yeah'
-
Having a rough time sleeping tonight (aided from too much energy drink caffeine).
Thank you to those that have reached out and given me encouragement. I'm definitely open to connecting with more of you.
Saw that this area is good for keeping a journal of things. Adding some of my random thoughts and reflections from the past 9 days. Apologies if this shit is too long or not the right place. Just feel like I need to vent and be honest with myself.
In no particular order
Reasons I feel better when I'm not chewing
1. Calmer, more at peace with my surroundings
2. Less anxious
3. Less on edge
4. No slimy feeling in throat and nose and teeth
5. Easier to breath, sinus don't feel stuffed
6. Easier to talk
7. Focus better, feel clear
8. Feel more optimistic
9. Little things don't bother me
10. Feel like have more time, not as rushed to finish tasks
Things I hate about withdrawing
1. Feeling that something is missing (no adrenaline rush)
2. The need of caffeine/coffee/soda/energy drinks to help
3. The mood swings (angry outbursts, moments of anxiety, and then random euphoria)
4. The fog (comes and goes whenever it wants)
5. That odd feeling of physical awareness that I don't notice when i'm chewing
6. Random headaches
7. Crazy lethargic
8. Weird, lucid dreams
9. The random thought I should take a dip and that it wont hurt in the long rub
10. The random thought that the next item on my to do list is have a dip
11. The anger that Ive wasted time of my life chewing - when I know I feel so much physically/mentally better happy when I don't use
Triggers
1. Free time/Down time/Boredom
2. Car rides / commute
3. After lifting or running
4. Conflicts w family, friends
5. Drinking
6. After food
7. New or unfamiliar people or situations
8. To focus on tasks like work projects or school
9. Chores, yard work
10. Life stresses
Why do I use chew as a crutch? It gives you that temporary feeling of invincibility and lowers that inhibition that holds you back. It makes you feel like it solves that anxiety or stress. It temporarily gives you that confidence and belief in yourself. When you were in your teens and early 20s you thought it made you look cool, like a rebel.
But it is all a temporary facade. A lie. It never actually does those things. You actually looked really fucking stupid.
You remember your first dip, it was with your buddies from freshman football walking to watch a varsity game. You had no idea what you were doing but grab a pinched of that Skoal Berry and threw it in your mouth. You almost threw up inside the stadium but managed to wash your mouth out in time. You had another one a few days after. You knew you liked it. It felt cool, you liked the feeling. You were soon chewing randomly here and there. Asking friends who were 18 to buy you cans, or finding the places that didnt ID. Most of your close friends chewed too. It was the cool thing to do. You finally turned 18 and were free to buy whatever you wanted. A can of grizzley wintergreen would last you 3-4 days. You knew you needed to stop but you just kept on dipping. By the time you were 25 you had tried "stopping" a few times but could never go more than a few days or weeks. You finally found some short term success in 2013-2014 and were able to put it away for over a year. But then you caved. You caved for reasons that look stupid in hindsight. And now here you are again..
But this time is different. This time you are putting the stubbornness aside. You finally recognize that you need a community of support. You need support from those that know how it feels, those who know how to deal with it. You know you are only 9 days in, and you know that real test comes in the long run, but this time you know you will arm yourself with the right tools and the right people. You have too much to live for, too much to experience, too much to achieve. The instant gratification of nicotine is just not worth it.
I gotta say, Nappy... This is one of the coolest posts I've seen in a long time.
Quit on brotha, this made my day.
'oh yeah'
Yes, great post Nappy. If I wasn't so foggy right now I'd probably have a better compliment for you, but I quit with you today brother.
-
Having a rough time sleeping tonight (aided from too much energy drink caffeine).
Thank you to those that have reached out and given me encouragement. I'm definitely open to connecting with more of you.
Saw that this area is good for keeping a journal of things. Adding some of my random thoughts and reflections from the past 9 days. Apologies if this shit is too long or not the right place. Just feel like I need to vent and be honest with myself.
In no particular order
Reasons I feel better when I'm not chewing
1. Calmer, more at peace with my surroundings
2. Less anxious
3. Less on edge
4. No slimy feeling in throat and nose and teeth
5. Easier to breath, sinus don't feel stuffed
6. Easier to talk
7. Focus better, feel clear
8. Feel more optimistic
9. Little things don't bother me
10. Feel like have more time, not as rushed to finish tasks
Things I hate about withdrawing
1. Feeling that something is missing (no adrenaline rush)
2. The need of caffeine/coffee/soda/energy drinks to help
3. The mood swings (angry outbursts, moments of anxiety, and then random euphoria)
4. The fog (comes and goes whenever it wants)
5. That odd feeling of physical awareness that I don't notice when i'm chewing
6. Random headaches
7. Crazy lethargic
8. Weird, lucid dreams
9. The random thought I should take a dip and that it wont hurt in the long rub
10. The random thought that the next item on my to do list is have a dip
11. The anger that Ive wasted time of my life chewing - when I know I feel so much physically/mentally better happy when I don't use
Triggers
1. Free time/Down time/Boredom
2. Car rides / commute
3. After lifting or running
4. Conflicts w family, friends
5. Drinking
6. After food
7. New or unfamiliar people or situations
8. To focus on tasks like work projects or school
9. Chores, yard work
10. Life stresses
Why do I use chew as a crutch? It gives you that temporary feeling of invincibility and lowers that inhibition that holds you back. It makes you feel like it solves that anxiety or stress. It temporarily gives you that confidence and belief in yourself. When you were in your teens and early 20s you thought it made you look cool, like a rebel.
But it is all a temporary facade. A lie. It never actually does those things. You actually looked really fucking stupid.
You remember your first dip, it was with your buddies from freshman football walking to watch a varsity game. You had no idea what you were doing but grab a pinched of that Skoal Berry and threw it in your mouth. You almost threw up inside the stadium but managed to wash your mouth out in time. You had another one a few days after. You knew you liked it. It felt cool, you liked the feeling. You were soon chewing randomly here and there. Asking friends who were 18 to buy you cans, or finding the places that didnt ID. Most of your close friends chewed too. It was the cool thing to do. You finally turned 18 and were free to buy whatever you wanted. A can of grizzley wintergreen would last you 3-4 days. You knew you needed to stop but you just kept on dipping. By the time you were 25 you had tried "stopping" a few times but could never go more than a few days or weeks. You finally found some short term success in 2013-2014 and were able to put it away for over a year. But then you caved. You caved for reasons that look stupid in hindsight. And now here you are again..
But this time is different. This time you are putting the stubbornness aside. You finally recognize that you need a community of support. You need support from those that know how it feels, those who know how to deal with it. You know you are only 9 days in, and you know that real test comes in the long run, but this time you know you will arm yourself with the right tools and the right people. You have too much to live for, too much to experience, too much to achieve. The instant gratification of nicotine is just not worth it.
I gotta say, Nappy... This is one of the coolest posts I've seen in a long time.
Quit on brotha, this made my day.
'oh yeah'
Yes, great post Nappy. If I wasn't so foggy right now I'd probably have a better compliment for you, but I quit with you today brother.
Thanks for the encouragment Cope. Stay strong 1:!
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Congrats on your 100 days brother!
Awesome job!!
'oh yeah'