KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Colonel_No_Cope on February 13, 2009, 06:22:00 PM
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I learned about this Group thru my brother, CopeFiend. I have been dipping for many years... pretty close to 20, and between the two of us, we have made numerous attempts to cease this habit, but always to no avail. With his recent/on-going success, I decided that there was no better time than the present.
A little bit about me, I am an U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel with nearly 18 years of active federal service under my belt. I have seen Iraq, and gave 14 months to that effort during the early years of the war. It was this career that exposed me to dip. I can even remember the first time I tried Kodiak as a cadet (my first dip ever), then my first dip of Copenhagen during a field exercise in order to stay awake. It about knocked me on my ass... I remember the feeling quite well.
Anyway, since then, the habit got more and more ingrained into my life... just like pretty much every other guy I was around. Dipping is the Army way, much like smoking was for all wars leading up to Desert Shield/Storm.
So, here I sit 20 years later wondering why I was never actually able to quit... why every time I thought I had, I always went back to it. I am an addict... while I never said that I wasn't, or that "I could quit any time I wanted", the fact is I never really wanted to. These days, I want to quit for myself, to quit for my family, to quit just to get this damn monkey off my back. I suppose in my early years I just didn't want to give it up... it was the thing to do, it kept me alert, it helped me concentrate, it felt good, etc. You guys obviously know the stories.
But I will say this... as badly as I want to quit, as much as I know I NEED to quit, a part of me cannot see LTC Jim (me) as a Nicotene free soldier. It has been part of my "image" (Cope or Marlboro lights) for as long as I can remember. Not the best image, of course, but I would rather go out for a smoke to think about my next decision, than to scream at the top of my lungs at some undeserving trooper. I would rather take a pinch of Cope to calm my nerves before and during "murder board" briefings. I have been known to dip a whole can of Cope and smoke a half pack of cigs in a single day or if supply dictated, a pack of cigs and a half can of Cope. This is how it worked during my Command days, and certainly during the most insane days in Iraq.
I suppose I shall close this with a simple truth... I want and need to quit. As of 30 minutes ago, I HAVE quit. Its all gone... spit bottles, Cope, cigs, etc. My brother, CopeFiend, despises the Commit quitting aids, or as we call them, Nico-Candies. They are being handed off to the wife as soon as she gets home from work. I am done with it all. Based on CopeFiend's recommendation, Friday seems the best day to quit... away from work (where the stress triggers are) and staying home with family (where the support is). Cold turkey it shall be.
As of this very moment, I can already feel the need. Talking about it... thinking about it... that damn drug begging for one last ride. CopeFiend and I used to call it a rollercoaster ride of addiction... we couldn't have been more right. If I can survive a war, assholes for bosses, and daily insanity, I certainly can come to terms with this operation... "Operation Quit" followed by "Operation Stay Quit".
Not sure if this is what most would consider a good Intro posting or bad, but it is the essence of what I feel right now. If you want to read posts from a straight shooter, who is tougher on himself than anyone else can be, then that would be me.
I am happy to now be associated with the only type of quitters that exemplify bravery... yes, I am looking forward to this continued association, but to be honest, not to the next several days. Been there done it... its gonna SUCK!!!
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Col.
Glad to have another person in our May group! Great choice you have made and it is one you'll be glad you did. There are a whole bunch of us that are asking ourselves why we didn't do it sooner. But at least we are here now.
You sound like you know what is headed your way the next few days. You've been through worse.
Head over to the May group; we thrilled you're here.
Well color me a jackass! You've already posted roll. Carry on with the suck.
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Welcome sir and congratulations on your decision!
We all thought that dip defined us as men. It actually consumes us as addicts. As difficult as it may seem to see yourself without nicotine in your life, one day soon you won't believe how free your life will be without it.
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Welcome sir and congratulations on your decision!
We all thought that dip defined us as men. It actually consumes us as addicts. As difficult as it may seem to see yourself without nicotine in your life, one day soon you won't believe how free your life will be without it.
Welcome
Let the quit begin.
Do whatever you have to, but keep that shit out of your mouth.
Don't forget to post daily!
finnman 76
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All I can say today is... I would love to just find someone who has made my life difficult in any way, then tear them a new asshole. Just verbally kick the living shit out of them. I would walk away most satisfied.
But instead, I know this is happening to me as a result of coming down off the nic. So, I shall temper my interactions as best I can. If it doesn't subside before work tomorrow, I could honestly get myself in pretty deep trouble since there is some seriously stupid shit going on in my unit, that my superiors have no issue with, yet I do. When the adage says common sense just isn't so common, they were referring to my unit in particular.
If only "knocking some sense into them" were the answer, instead they are the closed minded "pulling rank" types... not the "lets hear your solution" leaders I was trained by when I was a Lieutenant.
I'll hang in there. Its just one more day under my belt.
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Sir, I hope today went well for you and you stayed Army strong!!
I was at Bragg from 88 to 92(after Infantry and Airborne training at Benning of course). I know that daily life in the military, you have very different tasks to deal with than most civilians and in alot of ways more stressful! So, I would recommend
just keep saying NO and know that we have your back, stay close to this site and if you need any help, just say the word!!
"All the way sir"
GxHxOxSxT
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Thanks GHOST... and everyone else who has posted such warm greetings.
I feel fully integrated into our May 2009 Quit Group now.
My only hope is that I can offer some modicum of assistance (to others) in return while I struggle with my own quit.
Where else could someone go to get such welcomes and words of encouragement within a mere 48 hours of joining up?
No doubt in my mind, this is more than a forum, this is team building... this is support by its truest definition.
Let the +1s continue.
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Im a medical biller, and I am going to school to be a nurse. After seeing a lot of different things in all my medical classes, I have tried to quit numerous times. Once for about 7 months, then I relapsed. As I sit here now thinking of all the damage I did to my gums, and wondering what this white thing is below my molar.
I feel the anxiety, regret, and all the why questions. I tell myself whats done is done. I can only look forward, and start this change today. Nothing good is going to come out of my wondering, anxiety, and regret.
So Im just going to try and keep my cool, yes there will be hard times.
I might sound as if I am rambling, because Im just a little freaked out right now....
Thanks everyone for your comments and messages already, Ill tell you it helps a lot....
-Justin
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Thanks GHOST... and everyone else who has posted such warm greetings.
I feel fully integrated into our May 2009 Quit Group now.
My only hope is that I can offer some modicum of assistance (to others) in return while I struggle with my own quit.
Where else could someone go to get such welcomes and words of encouragement within a mere 48 hours of joining up?
No doubt in my mind, this is more than a forum, this is team building... this is support by its truest definition.
Let the +1s continue.
Colonel,
I am just popping in to see how your quit is coming along!! I hope that it is right on track and the days are rapidly getting better for you!
I can honestly say that since I truely made my mind up and quit this addiction, I have not had problem 1 as far as any type of cravings! I really believe if you set your mind to it, you can accomplish anything!
Normally I'd tell a fellow soldier to keep his head down! In this case however, I'm going to tell you to keep your head up! and reiterate....We have your back!!
GxHxOxSxT
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Hey all, since today is my 6 week anniversary, I thought maybe a quit update is necessary.
First off, I just got back from the Army dentist, and everything is well from his perspective. I fessed up to being a reformed nicotene addict, which after congratulating me, asked if I had looked at his Anti-Dip poster (BTW: the Army has these all over every dental clinic world-wide). I told him I had, but I hate looking at them especially now that I am quit, and hoping with every passing day that I was not too late.
Since I started dipping, I took every successful visit (i.e., cavities are no big deal, but ZERO cancer symptoms is a success) was a new lease on life... unfortunately, that meant I would go right out to my truck and put in an extra fat pinch. Whereas I should have taken the scare to mean something and quit immediately, I simply thought that I had bought yet another year of the habit until my next annual dental exam. I know, pretty sick, and all of you have similar stories.
But that all leads me to the status of my quit. With the help of all of you, my brother, and especially my wife, I have made it to 6 weeks. My jaw still hurts, but its from clenching it... I wake up in the middle of the night and find that I am clenching my teeth. Stress??? Midnight craves??? Not sure.
Shit, my jaw muscles are probably exhausted from it all. My gums and cheeks are generally fine, but I am still biting at them and get a few oddities that concern me. Hell, my tongue started hurting me 2 days ago from probing for new bumps or sores. Again though, the Doc saw nothing wrong in there... this was GREAT news.
Shit, I am a chronic user of Altoids and Halls cough drops now... I hate gum, so I needed something for the fixations... though the wife offered herself up as an option whenever needed. I told her my tongue and jaw was already hurting, but I would consider it.
Fuck if I still occasionally get light headed, kinda dizzy... it passes a lot quicker nowadays, but that first 10 days I would swear I was about to either pass out, or lose control thereby kicking someone's ass.
My cravings come and go... some times they are strong, while others hardly are a blip on my radar. It used to be around 30 days that the surprise cravings would catch me off guard... during some complacent phase that everyone must remain on guard against. I would likely have caved by now had I not been aware of this being an ever present threat. You folks are great at reminding me of the pitfalls AND also the milestones.
I have had some incredible dreams lately... everything from totally realistic to weird as hell. The last time I recall this was when I was sleeping with a nic-patch on about 10 years ago. Now its happening without ANY nicotene in my system. I don't know what this all means. Its one of the few symptoms of this quit that I cannot put my finger on... maybe you guys can help.
The only dreams that I recall vividly from my previous quits (pre-KTC) were dreams of caving and beating myself up over it, pissed off at myself even after I woke-up to find it was nothing but a dream. I hated those dreams more than daytime craves... probably because the dream exposed or demonstrated weakness.
Anyway, bottom-line is we are getting closer to the HOF... but that date is of little concern to me since the day-to-day battle will rage on long after. So, I just don't worry about it, and will only fight the next 24 hours at a time.
Well, thats my update. While I might not be able to post roll every single day, I acknowledge the benefits, and the commitment. Thanks guys.
42 and counting,
Colonel No Cope
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Hey Colonel,
I chewed about 50 packs of gum and got sick of it and ran accross these wasabi coated peas that I keep on my desk. These hot little fuckers will definitely take your mind off the dip for a few minutes. They remind me of the burn I used to get when I put a big dip of cope in when my gums were raw from dipping.
Congrats on your dental news.
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Wasabi Peas??? Thats sounds fucking strange enough to keep one interested in quitting. 'Crazy'
Just kidding, I am hooked on Halls Cough Drops lately... 'help'
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Congrats Colonel! And thanks for the update. I like hearing stories about how folks are doing as they go farther along.
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I am hooked on Halls Cough Drops lately... 'help'
man kernle dude it shood pass cause my atomic fire ball adickshun past after like 60 days or so. but so long as it aint the old shit goin in the mouth its all good. venshully you'll go down to 3 or 4 a day then 1 or 2 then may be cary a cupple round with you just in case you get the erge. like evry 3 or 4 times you pat the missin can.
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Colonel
I enjoy reading your post.. I almost came to tears when I read your first.. Myself was in the Marine Corps and now a Swat Operator for a Police Department. I truely understand where you come from. My congrats to you and your family. Most of all most family members do not understand the addiction and what stress is all about.
Just thought I'd write you a note.. Thanks and Good Luck on Operation Stay Quit..
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Well folks... I gotta tell you, the 70s really bite. I didn't anticipate the kind of funk it would bring.
I am bored by work... I am bored in the car... I am anxious to do something, but can't quite decide what to do. I feel, basically, worthless.
I talked to CopeFiend and he told me I have about 10+ more days of this shit, before it passes. I'll make it, of course, but it still sucks serious donkey dick.
When I get to work, all I want to do is go home. When I am home... well, it seems I am never home long enough to enjoy myself before heading back to work.
If this counts as a ramble, then so be it... I wish I could get myself into a good rant, but typing is even boring me.
Any advice out there???
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I typed this today for someone thinking I could help him get through the initial angry feelings and inexplicable irritation, but after re-reading my advice, I wanted to add it to my intro as a memory jog, a journal entry if you will, and hopefully someone else may benefit from it.
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Here is a lesson that you ought to take to heart. Eventhough I am fast approaching HOF, I have still fallen prey to those angry feelings. It is safe to say that they will lessen in frequency and severity the longer you go, but remember this...
They can pop up from time to time, and the best thing you can do, is come to this site and vent on these guys. They can take it, while family should never be the target.
I learned this lesson again this weekend because I thought I was too far along in my quit to be experiencing the angry/frustrated shit... NEVER quit learning about what that drug has turned you into, and what it has done to your character.
I am still learning how to cope with the new me (or should I say the original me).
You'll make it, and you kinda owe it to your families to stay vigilant of these little traps up to and beyond your HOF. I'm pulling for you all.
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I am still learning how to cope with the new me (or should I say the original me).
That is one of the greatest lines i have read on this site......
very nice
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Hey guys, I had to re-post this as a sign for those that follow me. A very significant event in my life (twins born on 20 July 2009)... and many KTC guys were there for me. 159 days and counting!!! I know I am a brute and crude... but I guess its kinda my own way to cope.
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Okay folks... no gimmicks or crazy Army talk, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
I am now the PROUD fucking daddy of two gorgeous baby girls.
Jade, 6 lb 15 oz, 20.25" Alexis, 6 lb 8 oz, 20"
Geez where would I ever start in describing the events of the last 24+ hours. blink.gif
For a hard ass like me, I must admit I had to wipe my eyes an awful lot. Must have been a leaky ceiling in the delivery room or something. My mask was soaked when it was all over. Hmmm, better talk to the Hospital Admin about that. unsure.gif
I have pulled (and still am pulling) a 32 hour shift... Sure I managed a little shut eye. 20 minutes a couple times here and there... nothing that the Army hasn't put me thru over the last 20 years. Some of you know that drill.
By the time the sun came up, I was re-energized and ready for the next go round. Time for the obligatory KTC plug: All that pressure and the associated craves due to years of addiction to NIC, and not a single one sent me towards the nearest gas station. I am still QUIT. Fuckin' A bubba!!! I still have this unholy LOVE for Halls Cherry Cough Drops though... Argh, I don't think they can kill me though. Thoughts????
Now, for what you guys have done over the last 32 hours. I have gotten more damn support from you all than my entire fucking unit could muster!!! Can you fucking believe that??? I am quickly learning to despise this organization... I still love and always will love the Big Army and my purpose... and my Group Commander is AWESOME demonstrated by the fact that we talked yesterday 2 hours after the blessed event and he just as excited as any given family member... but the rest of this outfit can suck my post PT sweaty balls and stinky ass if this is the best they can do. Better yet, they can suck clean my daughters' dirty diapers!!!
I am honored to announce the following:
All you guys (internal and external to May 09) get the Colonel No Cope's "Medal for Outstanding Service and Support" during Operation Stay Quit, along with the "Personal Concern Device" for demonstrating genuine interest in me and my family. Genuine... thats the operative word.
Make a note you cheese dicks. Yes, I actually said "Genuine".
Thanks to every single one of you fucking rat bastards. Shit, now water has started leaking in my home office too, right into my eyes again... what the fuck, over?!?
I suppose the keyboard isn't supposed to look this blurry either, so I had better move along for now. More exciting news to follow as the story develops.
You guys really are good people in my book!!! that's one of the higher Army compliments by the way
Colonel sends.
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Hey guys, I had to re-post this as a sign for those that follow me. A very significant event in my life (twins born on 20 July 2009)... and many KTC guys were there for me. 159 days and counting!!! I know I am a brute and crude... but I guess its kinda my own way to cope.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay folks... no gimmicks or crazy Army talk, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
I am now the PROUD fucking daddy of two gorgeous baby girls.
Jade, 6 lb 15 oz, 20.25" Alexis, 6 lb 8 oz, 20"
Geez where would I ever start in describing the events of the last 24+ hours. blink.gif
For a hard ass like me, I must admit I had to wipe my eyes an awful lot. Must have been a leaky ceiling in the delivery room or something. My mask was soaked when it was all over. Hmmm, better talk to the Hospital Admin about that. unsure.gif
I have pulled (and still am pulling) a 32 hour shift... Sure I managed a little shut eye. 20 minutes a couple times here and there... nothing that the Army hasn't put me thru over the last 20 years. Some of you know that drill.
By the time the sun came up, I was re-energized and ready for the next go round. Time for the obligatory KTC plug: All that pressure and the associated craves due to years of addiction to NIC, and not a single one sent me towards the nearest gas station. I am still QUIT. Fuckin' A bubba!!! I still have this unholy LOVE for Halls Cherry Cough Drops though... Argh, I don't think they can kill me though. Thoughts????
Now, for what you guys have done over the last 32 hours. I have gotten more damn support from you all than my entire fucking unit could muster!!! Can you fucking believe that??? I am quickly learning to despise this organization... I still love and always will love the Big Army and my purpose... and my Group Commander is AWESOME demonstrated by the fact that we talked yesterday 2 hours after the blessed event and he just as excited as any given family member... but the rest of this outfit can suck my post PT sweaty balls and stinky ass if this is the best they can do. Better yet, they can suck clean my daughters' dirty diapers!!!
I am honored to announce the following:
All you guys (internal and external to May 09) get the Colonel No Cope's "Medal for Outstanding Service and Support" during Operation Stay Quit, along with the "Personal Concern Device" for demonstrating genuine interest in me and my family. Genuine... thats the operative word.
Make a note you cheese dicks. Yes, I actually said "Genuine".
Thanks to every single one of you fucking rat bastards. Shit, now water has started leaking in my home office too, right into my eyes again... what the fuck, over?!?
I suppose the keyboard isn't supposed to look this blurry either, so I had better move along for now. More exciting news to follow as the story develops.
You guys really are good people in my book!!! that's one of the higher Army compliments by the way
Colonel sends.
Bravo Zulu, Colonel. Lucky kids. 'welcome'
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Hey guys, I had to re-post this as a sign for those that follow me. A very significant event in my life (twins born on 20 July 2009)... and many KTC guys were there for me. 159 days and counting!!! I know I am a brute and crude... but I guess its kinda my own way to cope.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay folks... no gimmicks or crazy Army talk, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
I am now the PROUD fucking daddy of two gorgeous baby girls.
Jade, 6 lb 15 oz, 20.25" Alexis, 6 lb 8 oz, 20"
Geez where would I ever start in describing the events of the last 24+ hours. blink.gif
For a hard ass like me, I must admit I had to wipe my eyes an awful lot. Must have been a leaky ceiling in the delivery room or something. My mask was soaked when it was all over. Hmmm, better talk to the Hospital Admin about that. unsure.gif
I have pulled (and still am pulling) a 32 hour shift... Sure I managed a little shut eye. 20 minutes a couple times here and there... nothing that the Army hasn't put me thru over the last 20 years. Some of you know that drill.
By the time the sun came up, I was re-energized and ready for the next go round. Time for the obligatory KTC plug: All that pressure and the associated craves due to years of addiction to NIC, and not a single one sent me towards the nearest gas station. I am still QUIT. Fuckin' A bubba!!! I still have this unholy LOVE for Halls Cherry Cough Drops though... Argh, I don't think they can kill me though. Thoughts????
Now, for what you guys have done over the last 32 hours. I have gotten more damn support from you all than my entire fucking unit could muster!!! Can you fucking believe that??? I am quickly learning to despise this organization... I still love and always will love the Big Army and my purpose... and my Group Commander is AWESOME demonstrated by the fact that we talked yesterday 2 hours after the blessed event and he just as excited as any given family member... but the rest of this outfit can suck my post PT sweaty balls and stinky ass if this is the best they can do. Better yet, they can suck clean my daughters' dirty diapers!!!
I am honored to announce the following:
All you guys (internal and external to May 09) get the Colonel No Cope's "Medal for Outstanding Service and Support" during Operation Stay Quit, along with the "Personal Concern Device" for demonstrating genuine interest in me and my family. Genuine... thats the operative word.
Make a note you cheese dicks. Yes, I actually said "Genuine".
Thanks to every single one of you fucking rat bastards. Shit, now water has started leaking in my home office too, right into my eyes again... what the fuck, over?!?
I suppose the keyboard isn't supposed to look this blurry either, so I had better move along for now. More exciting news to follow as the story develops.
You guys really are good people in my book!!! that's one of the higher Army compliments by the way
Colonel sends.
Bravo Zulu, Colonel. Lucky kids. 'welcome'
Congrats on your kids Colonel!!! You are going to do great!.....it's a good thing they look ike their mother. Bah! :lol:
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Hey guys, I had to re-post this as a sign for those that follow me. A very significant event in my life (twins born on 20 July 2009)... and many KTC guys were there for me.  159 days and counting!!! I know I am a brute and crude... but I guess its kinda my own way to cope.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay folks... no gimmicks or crazy Army talk, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
I am now the PROUD fucking daddy of two gorgeous baby girls.
Jade, 6 lb 15 oz, 20.25" Alexis, 6 lb 8 oz, 20"
Geez where would I ever start in describing the events of the last 24+ hours. blink.gif
For a hard ass like me, I must admit I had to wipe my eyes an awful lot. Must have been a leaky ceiling in the delivery room or something. My mask was soaked when it was all over. Hmmm, better talk to the Hospital Admin about that. unsure.gif
I have pulled (and still am pulling) a 32 hour shift... Sure I managed a little shut eye. 20 minutes a couple times here and there... nothing that the Army hasn't put me thru over the last 20 years. Some of you know that drill.
By the time the sun came up, I was re-energized and ready for the next go round. Time for the obligatory KTC plug: All that pressure and the associated craves due to years of addiction to NIC, and not a single one sent me towards the nearest gas station. I am still QUIT. Fuckin' A bubba!!! I still have this unholy LOVE for Halls Cherry Cough Drops though... Argh, I don't think they can kill me though. Thoughts????
Now, for what you guys have done over the last 32 hours. I have gotten more damn support from you all than my entire fucking unit could muster!!! Can you fucking believe that??? I am quickly learning to despise this organization... I still love and always will love the Big Army and my purpose... and my Group Commander is AWESOME demonstrated by the fact that we talked yesterday 2 hours after the blessed event and he just as excited as any given family member... but the rest of this outfit can suck my post PT sweaty balls and stinky ass if this is the best they can do. Better yet, they can suck clean my daughters' dirty diapers!!!
I am honored to announce the following:
All you guys (internal and external to May 09) get the Colonel No Cope's "Medal for Outstanding Service and Support" during Operation Stay Quit, along with the "Personal Concern Device" for demonstrating genuine interest in me and my family. Genuine... thats the operative word.
Make a note you cheese dicks. Yes, I actually said "Genuine".
Thanks to every single one of you fucking rat bastards. Shit, now water has started leaking in my home office too, right into my eyes again... what the fuck, over?!?
I suppose the keyboard isn't supposed to look this blurry either, so I had better move along for now. More exciting news to follow as the story develops.
You guys really are good people in my book!!! that's one of the higher Army compliments by the way
Colonel sends.
Bravo Zulu, Colonel. Lucky kids. 'welcome'
Congrats on your kids Colonel!!! You are going to do great!.....it's a good thing they look ike their mother. Bah! :lol:
Well, actually, one looks like me... and the other one looks like her mom.
Fortunately, the one that looks like me only carries the attractive traits... the rest fell out of the gene pool. 'archer'
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Sorry guys, I guess I just needed to vent a little... NOT on you peeps, I swear. Just a shotgun blast for the hell of it.
I suppose I am just a little more pissed off at the world today and I really don't want to have any of that "pissed off" crap in my system when the girls/twins start crying again...
I hope you all understand... its still safe to vent a little rage in here, right? If for no better reason than to spare my now doubled family size?
Maybe I sounded a little more confident than is realistic over the past couple days... I have had a couple craves. Yeah, a couple good ones.
But it was just the Nic Bitch trying to tell me I had every reason in the world to cave... no one would fault me for doing so... just one dip... just one... its okay, the girls screamed all fucking day... you earned it...
Instead, I get REALLY fucking pissed off because there is no way in the world I am gonna cave... so, where does that anger go??? Toward my helpless daughters as they cry about their diapers filled to capacity??? To them when all they want is a warm hug???
How can I be such a heartless fucking bastard when my family deserves so much more. God I hate that I ever got involved in this habit... why does it still haunt us when we are quit for 200ish days???
Answer: I don't fucking care why... I want to tear someone a new asshole... and it must be someone who 1) deserves it and 2) someone that is not my family.
You guys think that the rage is only part of the initial weeks of the quit??? GUESS THE FUCK WHAT... I DIPPED FOR 20 YEARS, SO I HAVE 20 YEARS OF RAGE TO VENT!!! DAMNIT!!! 20 WASTED YEARS!!! FUCK ME TO TEARS!!!
And this worthless habit is going to effect the way I treat my daughters??? My newborn twins??? What did they ever do to deserve this??? Huh??? I want to take a caver out of one of these lesser Quit Groups and thrash their fucking lives!!! Thats what I want... I want to crush someone...
But, its really me that deserves the treatment... yeah, I ought to kick my own ass for what I chose to do. So, how do I pay the fine??? Can someone tell me how I pay restitution for 20 years of bad decisions???
I need a target for my anger and rage, and my daughters need a father... tough choice, eh?
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Can someone tell me how I pay restitution for 20 years of bad decisions???
Keep posting daily
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Can someone tell me how I pay restitution for 20 years of bad decisions???
Keep posting daily
while nothing ever makes up for it keep the quit now and make the right decisions and pay forward!
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I need a target for my anger and rage
We're your huckleberry....
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Hit 200 today. I feel great... not because its been 200 days, but because I wasn't even thinking about it and it happened.
The craves are pretty few and far between... okay fine, when they hit, they grate on my nerves something fierce, but thats about it. Never close to caving, just irritated that I have to expend a little energy on the Nic Bitch (i.e., ignoring her or punching her in the crotch).
I'll tell you what folks... especially you FNGs out there... the battle is winnable. While there are dozens of successful quitters still active on the site to prove it, I continue to be surprised at how well this site/system worked for me.
Give it a chance... don't sell this stuff short... and trust what the veteran quitters are telling you. I have been a loner before... I have faced adversity on my own more times than I can count. YOU do not need to on your quit.
Good luck on your quits.
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Hit 200 today. I feel great... ot because its been 200 days, but because I wasn't even thinking about it and it happened.
The craves are pretty few and far between... okay fine, when they hit, they grate on my nerves something fierce, but thats about it. Never close to caving, just irritated that I have to expend a little energy on the Nic Bitch (i.e., ignoring her or punching her in the crotch).
I'll tell you what folks... especially you FNGs out there... the battle is winnable. While there are dozens of successful quitters still active on the site to prove it, I continue to be surprised at how well this site/system worked for me.
Give it a chance... don't sell this stuff short... and trust what the veteran quitters are telling you. I have been a loner before... I have faced adversity on my own more times than I can count. YOU do not need to on your quit.
Good luck on your quits.
Congrats on 200 Colonel.
No luck involved....
-
Sorry guys, I guess I just needed to vent a little... NOT on you peeps, I swear. Just a shotgun blast for the hell of it.
I suppose I am just a little more pissed off at the world today and I really don't want to have any of that "pissed off" crap in my system when the girls/twins start crying again...
I hope you all understand... its still safe to vent a little rage in here, right? If for no better reason than to spare my now doubled family size?
Maybe I sounded a little more confident than is realistic over the past couple days... I have had a couple craves. Yeah, a couple good ones.
But it was just the Nic Bitch trying to tell me I had every reason in the world to cave... no one would fault me for doing so... just one dip... just one... its okay, the girls screamed all fucking day... you earned it...
Instead, I get REALLY fucking pissed off because there is no way in the world I am gonna cave... so, where does that anger go??? Toward my helpless daughters as they cry about their diapers filled to capacity??? To them when all they want is a warm hug???
How can I be such a heartless fucking bastard when my family deserves so much more. God I hate that I ever got involved in this habit... why does it still haunt us when we are quit for 200ish days???
Answer: I don't fucking care why... I want to tear someone a new asshole... and it must be someone who 1) deserves it and 2) someone that is not my family.
You guys think that the rage is only part of the initial weeks of the quit??? GUESS THE FUCK WHAT... I DIPPED FOR 20 YEARS, SO I HAVE 20 YEARS OF RAGE TO VENT!!! DAMNIT!!! 20 WASTED YEARS!!! FUCK ME TO TEARS!!!
And this worthless habit is going to effect the way I treat my daughters??? My newborn twins??? What did they ever do to deserve this??? Huh??? I want to take a caver out of one of these lesser Quit Groups and thrash their fucking lives!!! Thats what I want... I want to crush someone...
But, its really me that deserves the treatment... yeah, I ought to kick my own ass for what I chose to do. So, how do I pay the fine??? Can someone tell me how I pay restitution for 20 years of bad decisions???
I need a target for my anger and rage, and my daughters need a father... tough choice, eh?
-
I was just sitting here reading through the forums... thinking about all the newbs, retreads and long-time vets... then something significant hit me like a sabot round in the chest.
I remember a certain feeling, oh 184 days ago, when I flushed my can and tossed my spitters.
The feeling of freedom... from the lies, the routine, the constant state of ninja vigilance required to keep my addiction hidden.
It was a *sigh of relief that is, in and of itself, addictive.
I suppose its good to remember the tough times to better appreciate the good/current times. I won't dwell on the lost days, or missed opportunities due to my dip escapes... that is just too painful.
So many guys to thank for my return and the last 184 days, but you exist all over KTC... the comma dudes, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th floor (and above) badasses, May 2009, Jan 2009, October 2011, and every newb group over this time that has faced the daily challenges, and to those that I may in some small part have provided some useful mentorship to.
Just a good revelation to bring this year to a close... and to bring in a new and even more successful one.
Thanks,
Colonel
-
I was just sitting here reading through the forums... thinking about all the newbs, retreads and long-time vets... then something significant hit me like a sabot round in the chest.
I remember a certain feeling, oh 184 days ago, when I flushed my can and tossed my spitters.
The feeling of freedom... from the lies, the routine, the constant state of ninja vigilance required to keep my addiction hidden.
It was a *sigh of relief that is, in and of itself, addictive.
I suppose its good to remember the tough times to better appreciate the good/current times. I won't dwell on the lost days, or missed opportunities due to my dip escapes... that is just too painful.
So many guys to thank for my return and the last 184 days, but you exist all over KTC... the comma dudes, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th floor (and above) badasses, May 2009, Jan 2009, October 2011, and every newb group over this time that has faced the daily challenges, and to those that I may in some small part have provided some useful mentorship to.
Just a good revelation to bring this year to a close... and to bring in a new and even more successful one.
Thanks,
Colonel
Happy New Year!!!
Freedom is good!!!
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
-
ol LOOT'll quit with you anytime bro. be on the lookout for a funk around 225. we all deal with it. it will pass.
thanks for the post.
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
CNC, I haven't used your number in months and months but it's still safely stored in my phone. I have not sent you a PM since the early days of my quit but you are stored in my addresses. Please rest assured that I will watch your back every day. I'd appreciate it if you will do the same for me.
I have been pretty vocal about lamenting the loss of basterds after we hit the hall, but one thing to come from those that have left is the core group we have remaining. The remaining basterds are a force of quit, you are a huge part of that.
I will proudly quit with you again today.
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
CNC, I haven't used your number in months and months but it's still safely stored in my phone. I have not sent you a PM since the early days of my quit but you are stored in my addresses. Please rest assured that I will watch your back every day. I'd appreciate it if you will do the same for me.
I have been pretty vocal about lamenting the loss of basterds after we hit the hall, but one thing to come from those that have left is the core group we have remaining. The remaining basterds are a force of quit, you are a huge part of that.
I will proudly quit with you again today.
^^^^ These guys fucking get it.
Longer timers right here... well done boys.
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
CNC, I haven't used your number in months and months but it's still safely stored in my phone. I have not sent you a PM since the early days of my quit but you are stored in my addresses. Please rest assured that I will watch your back every day. I'd appreciate it if you will do the same for me.
I have been pretty vocal about lamenting the loss of basterds after we hit the hall, but one thing to come from those that have left is the core group we have remaining. The remaining basterds are a force of quit, you are a huge part of that.
I will proudly quit with you again today.
^^^^ These guys fucking get it.
Longer timers right here... well done boys.
This is why this place works.
Drink it up men!
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
CNC, I haven't used your number in months and months but it's still safely stored in my phone. I have not sent you a PM since the early days of my quit but you are stored in my addresses. Please rest assured that I will watch your back every day. I'd appreciate it if you will do the same for me.
I have been pretty vocal about lamenting the loss of basterds after we hit the hall, but one thing to come from those that have left is the core group we have remaining. The remaining basterds are a force of quit, you are a huge part of that.
I will proudly quit with you again today.
^^^^ These guys fucking get it.
Longer timers right here... well done boys.
This is why this place works.
Drink it up men!
Thank you Colonel.
I am once again reminded of my nature. I am an addict. I must never forget. Thanks.
-
I posted this in my October Group... but its just as important for you guys to know what is on my mind.
-------------------------------------------
After CopeFiend pointed out my incorrect day count this morning, I have come to the conclusion that a new fog had set in during my approach to 2nd Floor.
Which also means that I have been at risk of complacency.
I am buckling down again, but just a note to my fellow Bastards... it ain't over. It'll never be over.
I'm an addict... I AM an addict... always will be. I will never forget that, but now I must change my mantra to "DO NOT LEAVE THE SITE... DO NOT SLIP AWAY FROM THE SITE AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!!!"
Sure, we all need to stay alert... but this stretch to 300 was the beginning of my downfall last time. I have missed roll 4 times in the last month... not a pattern per se, but could have been an indicator of the "milestone fog."
So, if you all see me slipping on Roll... or if I begin to sound complacent or foggy, fill my Inbox with PMs PLEASE.
Text the hell out of me if you are so inclined.
I do not wish to live in a world of shit, again. I will NOT live in a world of shit again.
CNC, I haven't used your number in months and months but it's still safely stored in my phone. I have not sent you a PM since the early days of my quit but you are stored in my addresses. Please rest assured that I will watch your back every day. I'd appreciate it if you will do the same for me.
I have been pretty vocal about lamenting the loss of basterds after we hit the hall, but one thing to come from those that have left is the core group we have remaining. The remaining basterds are a force of quit, you are a huge part of that.
I will proudly quit with you again today.
^^^^ These guys fucking get it.
Longer timers right here... well done boys.
This is why this place works.
Drink it up men!
Thank you Colonel.
I am once again reminded of my nature. I am an addict. I must never forget. Thanks.
Don't leave me out. Im gonna watch you but you gotta watch me too! I am quit with you today.
Tbob.
-
I have decided to tack on some more positive changes to my life, to supplement the quit plan I already have established, codified and implemented.
These are healthy goals... October has hopped on board as well, and we are now tracking our personal goal accountability via spreadsheet as well. I am honored to be a part of this group, and excited by this new level of devotion.
Here is what I am holding myself accountable for, as well as accountable to my Quit Basterds of October.
(1) I will take 30 minutes a day to play with my twins without a tv, phone, etc. to distract me.
(2) I will conduct a 3+ mile road march with 60+ pounds of gear and wildland boots on M-W-F, then a 30 minute cardio work-out on T-Th.
(3) I will take 10 minutes to have a conversation with my wife talking about something positive and tell her how much she means to me.
(4) I will, at least once a week, contact one quit brother out of the blue (via Phone or Text) just to say hi.
(5) I will eat 2 healthy meals daily (calorie counts unnecessary at this point, unless weight goes back above 200)... I generally do not eat three meals, nor snack very much. As such, I will support Mrs Colonel's healthy diet plan to the fullest extent.
(6) I will maintain my weight at below 200 lbs (for a 6'1" guy), with a goal of my ideal fighting weight of 189.
(7) I will take my blood pressure medication daily, without fail. Monitoring via cuff as required.
(8) I will, thru stretching and exercise, manage my back and hip pain so as to not deter me from physical activity with my twins.
(9) I will ensure that I follow thru on all projects and goals set forth during the Mrs Colonel Morning Update Brief.
(10) I will not partake of alcoholic beverages to support the achievement of all the above.
I am accountable now on all the above, i.e., for my quit, my support, my health and my family's well-being.
Let's Roll!!!
Colonel
-
Yeah, I figured I would dust off the Intro and use it for some more good.
As always, I appreciate the support received from all my Quit Basterds and those from other groups.
Its impossible to feel alone or isolated in a Group like our's... or using a site like KTC if you choose to avail yourself of all the resources available.
At any given time, I can talk to Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Marines, FIREFIGHTERS, Cops (if I ever wanted to :P ), Doctors, Coaches, Lawyers, Teachers, Students, bad-asses of every industry imaginable, and just plain hardcore citizens from every state of the Greatest Country that ever was.
Yeah, its been a good ending to a trying past 2 months.
Thanks for being there, all of you.
Lets see what the next challenge brings.
Colonel
-
I have decided to tack on some more positive changes to my life, to supplement the quit plan I already have established, codified and implemented.
These are healthy goals... October has hopped on board as well, and we are now tracking our personal goal accountability via spreadsheet as well. I am honored to be a part of this group, and excited by this new level of devotion.
Here is what I am holding myself accountable for, as well as accountable to my Quit Basterds of October.
(1) I will take 30 minutes a day to play with my twins without a tv, phone, etc. to distract me.
(2) I will conduct a 3+ mile road march with 60+ pounds of gear with boots on M-W-F, then a 30 minute cardio work-out on T-Th.
(3) I will take 10 minutes to have a conversation with my wife talking about something positive and tell her how much she means to me.
(4) I will, at least once a week, contact one quit brother out of the blue (via Phone or Text) just to say hi.
(5) I will eat 2 healthy meals daily (calorie counts unnecessary at this point, unless weight goes back above 200)... I generally do not eat three meals, nor snack very much. As such, I will support Mrs Colonel's healthy diet plan to the fullest extent.
(6) I will maintain my weight at below 200 lbs (for a 6'1" guy), with a goal of my ideal fighting weight of 189.
(7) I will take my blood pressure medication daily, without fail. Monitoring via cuff as required.
(8) I will, thru stretching and exercise, manage my back and hip pain so as to not deter me from physical activity with my twins.
(9) I will ensure that I follow thru on all projects and goals set forth during the Mrs Colonel Morning Update Brief.
(10) I will not partake of alcoholic beverages to support the achievement of all the above.
I am accountable now on all the above, i.e., for my quit, my support, my health and my family's well-being.
Let's Roll!!!
Colonel
Excellent plan to live by, brother! Very well thought out, and matches many of my priorities in life during the last couple years. As a note, my main priority is my family. Period.
#2 and #1 give me fits. I don't march, but I do run a bit. The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.
Thanks for posting this.
-
The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.Â
Good stuff from the good Colonel and yourself, I'd like to do something similar.
On your point here, I feel the same. However, most days I just end up taking them on my run! My daughter is 12 and my son is 4, both ride bikes well enough to easily keep up with me on a short 5K around the neighborhood. In the beginning they hemmed and hawwed and protested but I tell you what, it's a pleasing feeling the first time one of them comes up to you and says "Hey Dad, let's go for a run!".
-
I have decided to tack on some more positive changes to my life, to supplement the quit plan I already have established, codified and implemented.
These are healthy goals... October has hopped on board as well, and we are now tracking our personal goal accountability via spreadsheet as well. I am honored to be a part of this group, and excited by this new level of devotion.
Here is what I am holding myself accountable for, as well as accountable to my Quit Basterds of October.
(1) I will take 30 minutes a day to play with my twins without a tv, phone, etc. to distract me.
(2) I will conduct a 3+ mile road march with 60+ pounds of gear with boots on M-W-F, then a 30 minute cardio work-out on T-Th.
(3) I will take 10 minutes to have a conversation with my wife talking about something positive and tell her how much she means to me.
(4)Â I will, at least once a week, contact one quit brother out of the blue (via Phone or Text) just to say hi.
(5) I will eat 2 healthy meals daily (calorie counts unnecessary at this point, unless weight goes back above 200)... I generally do not eat three meals, nor snack very much. As such, I will support Mrs Colonel's healthy diet plan to the fullest extent.
(6) I will maintain my weight at below 200 lbs (for a 6'1" guy), with a goal of my ideal fighting weight of 189.
(7) I will take my blood pressure medication daily, without fail. Monitoring via cuff as required.
(8) I will, thru stretching and exercise, manage my back and hip pain so as to not deter me from physical activity with my twins.
(9) I will ensure that I follow thru on all projects and goals set forth during the Mrs Colonel Morning Update Brief.
(10) I will not partake of alcoholic beverages to support the achievement of all the above.
I am accountable now on all the above, i.e., for my quit, my support, my health and my family's well-being.
Let's Roll!!!
Colonel
Excellent plan to live by, brother! Very well thought out, and matches many of my priorities in life during the last couple years. As a note, my main priority is my family. Period.
#2 and #1 give me fits. I don't march, but I do run a bit. The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.
Thanks for posting this.
Point well-taken.
Like you, I dread the day that they find things to do other than play with Daddy.
I must temper my zeal to account for this, but I am trying to remember that exercise keeps me happy and healthy... if I am happy and healthy, I can continue to work out to sustain that... if I work out and am happy and healthy, I will live longer... if I live longer, they will have more time with Daddy in the long run.
But, as you said, we must keep them as our #1 priority... very true.
Thanks man.
-
The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.Â
Good stuff from the good Colonel and yourself, I'd like to do something similar.
On your point here, I feel the same. However, most days I just end up taking them on my run! My daughter is 12 and my son is 4, both ride bikes well enough to easily keep up with me on a short 5K around the neighborhood. In the beginning they hemmed and hawwed and protested but I tell you what, it's a pleasing feeling the first time one of them comes up to you and says "Hey Dad, let's go for a run!".
Now, I do like the sound of that.
The girls, while only 2.5 years old, both love the outdoors... heaven help me if they degenerate into another TV/inside generation.
If we can maintain this interest, I see soccer, running, softball, swimming, camping and hiking in their futures. Again, they love the outdoors... I don't want to lose that.
Thats a good post rgross... its Russ, right?
Thanks man.
-
The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.Â
Good stuff from the good Colonel and yourself, I'd like to do something similar.
On your point here, I feel the same. However, most days I just end up taking them on my run! My daughter is 12 and my son is 4, both ride bikes well enough to easily keep up with me on a short 5K around the neighborhood. In the beginning they hemmed and hawwed and protested but I tell you what, it's a pleasing feeling the first time one of them comes up to you and says "Hey Dad, let's go for a run!".
Now, I do like the sound of that.
The girls, while only 2.5 years old, both love the outdoors... heaven help me if they degenerate into another TV/inside generation.
If we can maintain this interest, I see soccer, running, softball, swimming, camping and hiking in their futures. Again, they love the outdoors... I don't want to lose that.
Thats a good post rgross... its Russ, right?
Thanks man.
Correct, Colonel. Do you have a jogging stroller? Hit up REI and get you one of those B.O.B. strollers, they sell them for twins as well. Or check craigslist. Best purchase I ever made, and my wife agrees. They are expensive ($300+) but you can run with them like a madman. I still use it with my son on days he doesn't want to ride, or when it's getting dark or excessively windy. I once ran 13.1 around the neighborhood with him snoozing in it when he was around 1 year :)
Anyways, I think the whole point is I definitely understand the want/need to spend more time with your kids. I tell my wife I never feel like I spend enough time with them. However, as far as personal fitness and spending time with kids is concerned, I don't think they are mutually exclusive. Take the kids with you. Like I said, one day you'll be proud as shit when your kids are riding/running right along with you, and heck, you've done one hell of a job as a dad showing them that physical activity is just part of their day. That's something I didn't get growing up.
--Russ
-
The thing is that my children take priority, so it's common lately for me to skip the run to play with them. I think it's worth the trade while they are young. On the days I've taken extended runs or workouts, I pretty much feel like crap the whole time because my kids were wanting me to do something with them. I dread the day when they don't want to spend time with me, and I figure every time I walk away from them, I expedite their transition to that.Â
Good stuff from the good Colonel and yourself, I'd like to do something similar.
On your point here, I feel the same. However, most days I just end up taking them on my run! My daughter is 12 and my son is 4, both ride bikes well enough to easily keep up with me on a short 5K around the neighborhood. In the beginning they hemmed and hawwed and protested but I tell you what, it's a pleasing feeling the first time one of them comes up to you and says "Hey Dad, let's go for a run!".
Now, I do like the sound of that.
The girls, while only 2.5 years old, both love the outdoors... heaven help me if they degenerate into another TV/inside generation.
If we can maintain this interest, I see soccer, running, softball, swimming, camping and hiking in their futures. Again, they love the outdoors... I don't want to lose that.
Thats a good post rgross... its Russ, right?
Thanks man.
Correct, Colonel. Do you have a jogging stroller? Hit up REI and get you one of those B.O.B. strollers, they sell them for twins as well. Or check craigslist. Best purchase I ever made, and my wife agrees. They are expensive ($300+) but you can run with them like a madman. I still use it with my son on days he doesn't want to ride, or when it's getting dark or excessively windy. I once ran 13.1 around the neighborhood with him snoozing in it when he was around 1 year :)
Anyways, I think the whole point is I definitely understand the want/need to spend more time with your kids. I tell my wife I never feel like I spend enough time with them. However, as far as personal fitness and spending time with kids is concerned, I don't think they are mutually exclusive. Take the kids with you. Like I said, one day you'll be proud as shit when your kids are riding/running right along with you, and heck, you've done one hell of a job as a dad showing them that physical activity is just part of their day. That's something I didn't get growing up.
--Russ
Ditto. I didn't get it either. To this day, I've never seen my parents run or do any kind of excercise. I refuse to go that route.
I think we are on the same page here, and that is a great thing.
I've taken a page from rgross a couple times. About a month ago, my 8-year-old started taking interest in my run. He's rode his bike along with me several times. That is a wonderful thing. Good conversation, good music, and great company. My twins are only 3, and since I mostly run off-road, taking them is not realy feasible yet.
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Just a quick note... I suppose its more for retread quitters like myself.
From what I have experienced over the last 270 days, I have a few observations.
1) do not come back the way I did. If you quit for 10 days or 1000 days... my approach (if you took the time to research me) is not the winning answer. Do not come back in with an attitude, even though the Nic Bitch wants you to... you will simply end up looking like a horse's ass. Not easy to live down... but easier than being labelled a repeat or serial caver.
2) take your medicine... guys, just take the beating. Its better than lying... and certainly better than dying. If you apply yourself... if you are dedicated to overcoming your past, and locking in your future as a quitter... then the pain you endure during your comeback days is relatively minor.
3) the retreads that guys appreciate having around are the ones that take a personal interest in others first... then themselves second. I think about a number of friends on KTC when I wrote this one. If you are a retread, style your return after them... you hopefully know who they are. You ought to.
4) you are gonna have newbs that don't trust you because you caved once... you will have fresh retreads that just don't get it yet... maintain your integrity throughout this. Try not to lose your temper at first flash. You will earn more respect by staying true to the system and helping others. This will not always be the easiest thing to do... but it does work. Everyone has caved... if not, they never would have found KTC, yet the only difference... the most significant difference is, you broke your word when you caved on KTC. Repair this... get your honor back... ASAP.
5) last but not least, some people will hate your guts... the very path you tread is despicable to them (see #4). You will have personal attacks, professional attacks, and quitter attacks. What matters most... to you and all those on KTC... is how many folks have you helped today.
Get called a "stalker"... have guys question the number of hours you spend on KTC... or in Live Chat... let them question your job status... who the fuck cares... forget all that.
If you are helping others as often as you can find time for... then you are reinforcing your quit every time. Your quit will be concrete... titanium... what have you. And this brothers, means others are stronger for it.
Maybe at that point... maybe... you have earned your keep as a retread.
There its off my chest.
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Just a quick note... I suppose its more for retread quitters like myself.
From what I have experienced over the last 270 days, I have a few observations.
1) do not come back the way I did. If you quit for 10 days or 1000 days... my approach (if you took the time to research me) is not the winning answer. Do not come back in with an attitude, even though the Nic Bitch wants you to... you will simply end up looking like a horse's ass. Not easy to live down... but easier than being labelled a repeat or serial caver.
2) take your medicine... guys, just take the beating. Its better than lying... and certainly better than dying. If you apply yourself... if you are dedicated to overcoming your past, and locking in your future as a quitter... then the pain you endure during your comeback days is relatively minor.
3) the retreads that guys appreciate having around are the ones that take a personal interest in others first... then themselves second. I think about a number of friends on KTC when I wrote this one. If you are a retread, style your return after them... you hopefully know who they are. You ought to.Â
4) you are gonna have newbs that don't trust you because you caved once... you will have fresh retreads that just don't get it yet... maintain your integrity throughout this. Try not to lose your temper at first flash. You will earn more respect by staying true to the system and helping others. This will not always be the easiest thing to do... but it does work. Everyone has caved... if not, they never would have found KTC, yet the only difference... the most significant difference is, you broke your word when you caved on KTC. Repair this... get your honor back... ASAP.
5) last but not least, some people will hate your guts... the very path you tread is despicable to them (see #4). You will have personal attacks, professional attacks, and quitter attacks. What matters most... to you and all those on KTC... is how many folks have you helped today.
Get called a "stalker"... have guys question the number of hours you spend on KTC... or in Live Chat... let them question your job status... who the fuck cares... forget all that.Â
If you are helping others as often as you can find time for... then you are reinforcing your quit every time. Your quit will be concrete... titanium... what have you. And this brothers, means others are stronger for it.
Maybe at that point... maybe... you have earned your keep as a retread.
There its off my chest.
Good shit, sir.
Your points are right on sage advice for all of us.
Especially dudes like me.
Nice work thank you.
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I quit everyday with this man, and I am fucking proud to do so.
Thank you.
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I quit everyday with this man, and I am fucking proud to do so.
Thank you.
I will second that!
I have a ton of respect for the vets on here that have helped many great guys quit, I appreciate your guidance and learn from your words.
Thank You!
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I quit everyday with this man, and I am fucking proud to do so.
Thank you.
I will second that!
I have a ton of respect for the vets on here that have helped many great guys quit, I appreciate your guidance and learn from your words.
Thank You!
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I quit everyday with this man, and I am fucking proud to do so.
Thank you.
I will second that!
I have a ton of respect for the vets on here that have helped many great guys quit, I appreciate your guidance and learn from your words.
Thank You!
:wub: getting in on the CNC love-fest. Great post Colonel.
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I quit everyday with this man, and I am fucking proud to do so.
Thank you.
I will second that!
I have a ton of respect for the vets on here that have helped many great guys quit, I appreciate your guidance and learn from your words.
Thank You!
:wub: getting in on the CNC love-fest. Great post Colonel.
CNC gives me wood, fer sure
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What has freedom brought me lately... where has CNC been over the last month? Why don't we see him in Live Chat anymore? He isn't engaged in the younger groups like before... whats going on? He hasn't earned a spot in a Coach Steve narrative lately, whats up?
Well, I am back on the payroll quitters. I am earning my keep.
I was recently hired on with Verizon as a Lineman, and have been at schools for the last 3 weeks. I love it.
I still do post... I do read as much as I can... but for the first time in the last 6 years of my professional life, I am not tethered to a computer. I am doing Hands-On labor brothers. Fucking-A.
Man, not only has my quit brought me freedom from my addiction, but I now have freedom from the electronic leash and humdrum life behind a desk.
"Ahhh shit, CNC is drifting" you might be reluctantly thinking. Absolutely not... very much to the contrary.
Idle hands/Idle Minds are the devil's workshop. I am no longer idle (boy am I not idle), and KTC is still every bit the part of my daily routine as it was before.
Tragically, this job will keep me from being the constant voice in Live Chat where meeting newbies and helping quitters gave me a sense of accomplishment and service to others. Tragically I won't be on top of the daily happenings as they happen in the pre-HOF groups. Tragically, I will no longer be around as much to chime in and hopefully assist guys in trouble with their quits at that very moment.
Because of these things, I am saddened... sure, I will make up for it when I get off work, but it'll just be different for me. Just sharing my thoughts on the matter, this is like a family member moving to a different state. They aren't truly gone... but things feel different and will be different.
How will I adjust to the change? What will I do to maintain this hard fought quit as I approach 1 year? Here it comes folks... I have the magic answer for you... you might have seen it somewhere before...
Step 1: post roll first thing in the morning, make my promise
Step 2: keep my promise throughout the day
Step 2.5: help other quitters whenever possible, bring them the message
Step 3: repeat steps 1-3 the next day
Meaning, its time for CNC to get back to the basics... the fundamentals of quit KTC style.
Anyway, they say that Manual Labor cleanses the soul... well, lets do some cleansing... being a Lineman will give me what I need in that regard, for sure. No more cush gigs for CNC.
I'll be climbing poles and digging holes.
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What has freedom brought me lately... where has CNC been over the last month? Why don't we see him in Live Chat anymore? He isn't engaged in the younger groups like before... whats going on? He hasn't earned a spot in a Coach Steve narrative lately, whats up?
Well, I am back on the payroll quitters. I am earning my keep.
I was recently hired on with Verizon as a Lineman, and have been at schools for the last 3 weeks. I love it.
I still do post... I do read as much as I can... but for the first time in the last 6 years of my professional life, I am not tethered to a computer. I am doing Hands-On labor brothers. Fucking-A.
Man, not only has my quit brought me freedom from my addiction, but I now have freedom from the electronic leash and humdrum life behind a desk.
"Ahhh shit, CNC is drifting" you might be reluctantly thinking. Absolutely not... very much to the contrary.
Idle hands/Idle Minds are the devil's workshop. I am no longer idle (boy am I not idle), and KTC is still every bit the part of my daily routine as it was before.
Tragically, this job will keep me from being the constant voice in Live Chat where meeting newbies and helping quitters gave me a sense of accomplishment and service to others. Tragically I won't be on top of the daily happenings as they happen in the pre-HOF groups. Tragically, I will no longer be around as much to chime in and hopefully assist guys in trouble with their quits at that very moment.
Because of these things, I am saddened... sure, I will make up for it when I get off work, but it'll just be different for me. Just sharing my thoughts on the matter, this is like a family member moving to a different state. They aren't truly gone... but things feel different and will be different.
How will I adjust to the change? What will I do to maintain this hard fought quit as I approach 1 year? Here it comes folks... I have the magic answer for you... you might have seen it somewhere before...
Step 1: post roll first thing in the morning, make my promise
Step 2: keep my promise throughout the day
Step 2.5: help other quitters whenever possible, bring them the message
Step 3: repeat steps 1-3 the next day
Meaning, its time for CNC to get back to the basics... the fundamentals of quit KTC style.
Anyway, they say that Manual Labor cleanses the soul... well, lets do some cleansing... being a Lineman will give me what I need in that regard, for sure. No more cush gigs for CNC.
I'll be climbing poles and digging holes.
Colonel ,
You are an inspiration as a quitter, and I envy the crap out of you for getting out from behind the desk. Congrats brother. QUit on!!!!
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What has freedom brought me lately... where has CNC been over the last month? Why don't we see him in Live Chat anymore? He isn't engaged in the younger groups like before... whats going on? He hasn't earned a spot in a Coach Steve narrative lately, whats up?
Well, I am back on the payroll quitters. I am earning my keep.
I was recently hired on with Verizon as a Lineman, and have been at schools for the last 3 weeks. I love it.
I still do post... I do read as much as I can... but for the first time in the last 6 years of my professional life, I am not tethered to a computer. I am doing Hands-On labor brothers. Fucking-A.
Man, not only has my quit brought me freedom from my addiction, but I now have freedom from the electronic leash and humdrum life behind a desk.
"Ahh shit, CNC is drifting" you might be reluctantly thinking. Absolutely not... very much to the contrary.
Idle hands/Idle Minds are the devil's workshop. I am no longer idle (boy am I not idle), and KTC is still every bit the part of my daily routine as it was before.
Tragically, this job will keep me from being the constant voice in Live Chat where meeting newbies and helping quitters gave me a sense of accomplishment and service to others. Tragically I won't be on top of the daily happenings as they happen in the pre-HOF groups. Tragically, I will no longer be around as much to chime in and hopefully assist guys in trouble with their quits at that very moment.
Because of these things, I am saddened... sure, I will make up for it when I get off work, but it'll just be different for me. Just sharing my thoughts on the matter, this is like a family member moving to a different state. They aren't truly gone... but things feel different and will be different.
How will I adjust to the change? What will I do to maintain this hard fought quit as I approach 1 year? Here it comes folks... I have the magic answer for you... you might have seen it somewhere before...
Step 1: post roll first thing in the morning, make my promise
Step 2: keep my promise throughout the day
Step 2.5: help other quitters whenever possible, bring them the message
Step 3: repeat steps 1-3 the next day
Meaning, its time for CNC to get back to the basics... the fundamentals of quit KTC style.
Anyway, they say that Manual Labor cleanses the soul... well, lets do some cleansing... being a Lineman will give me what I need in that regard, for sure. No more cushy gigs for CNC.Â
I'll be climbing poles and digging holes.
Colonel ,
You are an inspiration as a quitter, and I envy the crap out of you for getting out from behind the desk. Congrats brother. QUit on!!!!
CNC I had completely forgotten that you worked for Verizon. Now I remember on My day 7 when I came back bitching about my experience with the verizon store manager. ( I told him to go F' himself and my wife was embarrassed) You responded that not all verizon employees were like him. Congrats on getting away from the desk. I know that we will still see a lot of you. You are an inspiration to all of us.
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Good luck on the new job colonel... I've been at it 23 yrs, It's a good gig.
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Excuse me what were those three steps again???
I got one for ya -
EVERY DAMN DAY!
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Excuse me what were those three steps again???
I got one for ya -
EVERY DAMN DAY!
Yep, I think I might have seen that one before.
I reckon I can still read afterall.
How 'bout that.
Thats a load off my mind.
Thanks for the reboot.
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REBOOT AGAIN
own it this time
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REBOOT AGAIN
own it this time
Wondered who would dig this out and how long it would take... 'flush'
He better than the likes of you, he doesn't have to answer to you, hell he's almost a fullbird Colonel!
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Once upon a time, there was a young man with the dream of becoming a great lawyer. He asked some successful lawyers, and they suggested he attend a well known and very demanding university. The young man applied, was accepted and showed up eager learn. His advisors discussed his Freshman year, and settled on the following courses:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Constitutional Law
The young man impressed others with his commitment and aptitude, excelling in all his studies. His classmates stood in awe of his work and dedication.
At the end of his first year, his advisors heaped praise upon the young scholar. The advisors said "Rarely have we seen such potential. Your work does credit to yourself and our chosen profession." The young scholar beamed with pride, thanked them for their words and commented on what an honor is to have "joined the ranks of such great legal minds...truly a dream come true!" With awkward glances and nervous chuckles, the advisors said "uhhhh...yea...your future is certainly bright...."
With that, the advisors opened the university's vast catalog of courses and ask the lad to pick his next course of study. The young man chose the following:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Constitutional Law
His sophomore year went even better than the first. The young man felt he was truly called to his chosen subjects. It was as if he were a natural, so easily did the A's come his way. Occasionally, one of his classmates would ask for help, and he took great pride in guiding a new student. Although he set a new record for GPA, his advisors still refused to accept him as one of their own. The advisors begged him to think about his curriculum choices, but the young man wouldn't change his path. He chose for the next year these classes:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Constitutional Law
And that year, the scholar set a new standard...never before had a student shown mastery of each class like he had. He received A's for the sole reason that there were no higher marks to be given. Other students noticed the ease in which he navigated the material and ask for help not only with specific topics, but with study techniques in general. Still, his advisors refused to grant him the title "esquire" until he had done more. Getting frustrated, the scholar decided to study one more year. He signed up for the following courses:
English 101
Basic Economics
Latin I
Constitutional Law
The scholar threw himself into the work, excelling well beyond anyone that had previously taken the classes. He wrote essays that went on to become the nation's leading online blog. The Fed Chairman referenced one of his term papers. He became a multimillionaire by translating Penthouse Forum into Latin for certain "niche" consumers. He could summarize every 20th century Supreme court decision. Exhausted but proud, the student was sure that the advisors would acknowledge all that he had done. To his amazement, they again told him he had not done enough....that he had basically wasted his time. The advisors told him they doubted the young man would ever become a lawyer. The more the advisors spoke about what must be done, the madder the scholar became. And then the final insult: the advisors held up this young man as an example to new students of how NOT to become a lawyer.
Outraged, the young scholar came to two conclusions: 1) advisors are assholes. 2) simply calling himself a lawyer is easier than actually becoming a lawyer.
The End.