KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: TurdFerguson on July 15, 2018, 08:55:00 PM
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Hello All,
27 years old, have been dipping for about 5 years or so. Sometimes up to a can a day, sometimes a can could last a week (depended on how stressful life was/how weak I was in those stressful moments). IÂ’m done with this crap. Flushed the contents of a new can down the toilet yesterday and IÂ’m not going back.
I used to not care about the risks or the negative effects it was having on my finances, but recently itÂ’s like my eyes have really been opened to some things in my life and IÂ’m disgusted with some of the stuff IÂ’ve been putting myself through.
Not sure if today technically counts as day 1 or 2 - I havenÂ’t dealt with cravings yet but I do find myself battling a lot of anxiety/nerves/fear that IÂ’m not accustomed to - my conscience is a wreck because of the people IÂ’ve lied to/deceived over the past several years. Sometimes it comes in waves and makes it hard to eat. If any of you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for peace and healing of my mind and body.
Once I figure out how to post roll IÂ’ll get on that. HereÂ’s to the beginning of the rest of my life without dragging this along with me.
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Hello All,
27 years old, have been dipping for about 5 years or so. Sometimes up to a can a day, sometimes a can could last a week (depended on how stressful life was/how weak I was in those stressful moments). IÂ’m done with this crap. Flushed the contents of a new can down the toilet yesterday and IÂ’m not going back.
I used to not care about the risks or the negative effects it was having on my finances, but recently itÂ’s like my eyes have really been opened to some things in my life and IÂ’m disgusted with some of the stuff IÂ’ve been putting myself through.
Not sure if today technically counts as day 1 or 2 - I havenÂ’t dealt with cravings yet but I do find myself battling a lot of anxiety/nerves/fear that IÂ’m not accustomed to - my conscience is a wreck because of the people IÂ’ve lied to/deceived over the past several years. Sometimes it comes in waves and makes it hard to eat. If any of you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for peace and healing of my mind and body.
Once I figure out how to post roll IÂ’ll get on that. HereÂ’s to the beginning of the rest of my life without dragging this along with me.
You have made a great decision. There are a lot of people here that have gone through and continue to go through what you're saying every day here. Read up on intros, HOF speeches, read instructions on posting roll and come join our October 2018 quit group.
starts day 1 when you make the pledge to all of us here that you promise to stop using nicotine (in any form). Then you take it one day at a time and post that promise (first thing is best) every day.
PM for numbers and hold eachother accountable. If you promise and join the group, always happy to give you my cell. You made the right call, now just learn to lean on the vets and fellow quitters going through this with you.
PS. TurdFerguson, it's a funny name. (first of many times that is referenced).
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I'm proud to be quitting with you.
We are going through the same stages, since we quit in the same week.
let me know if you need to talk any time
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Turd, quitting is hard, but with the tools here at KTC, it can be easier. Get in here daily, post your roll early, and keep your promise. This community works to make it easier, unless you like it rough (like Trebek's mother)
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That's a funny name!
There's nothing funny about nic addiction though. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power; ignorance is terribly expensive.
Great choice to quit! See you in the hall.
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Glad to be quitting with you Turd, I'm a pm away if you want a number. We are all in this together and I don't know if you've tried before or not, but this is the kind of place that can help you quit. Odaat!
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Past day or so has been rough. Feels like I have the flu - there are moments I feel fine and then others when an unexpected smell makes me dry-heave.
IÂ’ve stopped dipping for longer periods than this in the past and have never experienced these side-effects. ItÂ’s almost like my body knows this isnÂ’t just a break, itÂ’s for good, and is really putting me through hell for it.
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Past day or so has been rough. Feels like I have the flu - there are moments I feel fine and then others when an unexpected smell makes me dry-heave.
IÂ’ve stopped dipping for longer periods than this in the past and have never experienced these side-effects. ItÂ’s almost like my body knows this isnÂ’t just a break, itÂ’s for good, and is really putting me through hell for it.
That sucks but that is the price we pay for being addicts. Drink lots of water, workout, go for a walk, sleep if you can, scream. Anything you can do to distract your self or get some relief. The nicotine will soon be out of your system physically and those symptoms should subside.
Love me some Norm and Turd. PM if you need digits and support
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Past day or so has been rough. Feels like I have the flu - there are moments I feel fine and then others when an unexpected smell makes me dry-heave.
IÂ’ve stopped dipping for longer periods than this in the past and have never experienced these side-effects. ItÂ’s almost like my body knows this isnÂ’t just a break, itÂ’s for good, and is really putting me through hell for it.
I had the dry heave thing and it got better! Stay strong...PM me if necessary!
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Past day or so has been rough. Feels like I have the flu - there are moments I feel fine and then others when an unexpected smell makes me dry-heave.
IÂ’ve stopped dipping for longer periods than this in the past and have never experienced these side-effects. ItÂ’s almost like my body knows this isnÂ’t just a break, itÂ’s for good, and is really putting me through hell for it.
That sucks but that is the price we pay for being addicts. Drink lots of water, workout, go for a walk, sleep if you can, scream. Anything you can do to distract your self or get some relief. The nicotine will soon be out of your system physically and those symptoms should subside.
Love me some Norm and Turd. PM if you need digits and support
Thanks Mike - IÂ’ve been pounding water and Gatorade since Saturday and have stayed away from the booze to avoid triggers. Looking forward to better days ahead and eating something other than soup and crackers lol
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Past day or so has been rough. Feels like I have the flu - there are moments I feel fine and then others when an unexpected smell makes me dry-heave.
IÂ’ve stopped dipping for longer periods than this in the past and have never experienced these side-effects. ItÂ’s almost like my body knows this isnÂ’t just a break, itÂ’s for good, and is really putting me through hell for it.
I had the dry heave thing and it got better! Stay strong...PM me if necessary!
Thanks Cap - things have improved throughout the day but still feeling fairly lethargic. I guess the silver lining of feeling like IÂ’m going to barf is that I definitely have no desire for any nicotine whatsoever.
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So yesterday went better than previous days, which IÂ’m very thankful for. I had an increased appetite by the evening and was able to get some work done (I called in sick Monday because I felt that awful).
My sleep schedule feels jacked up - in the past IÂ’d go to bed around 11:30pm or 12:00am and sleep until 7:00 or 7:30. The past few nights IÂ’ve been in bed by 10:15pm and awake at 4:00am. I donÂ’t mind going to bed earlier but the lying awake in bed from 4:00am onward has been crap.
Thankfully I was able to fall back asleep after waking at 4:00 this morning - progress!
Still no nicotine cravings to speak of, as I’m dealing with too much of a tender stomach to consider that remotely appealing. In a twisted way I’m kind of looking forward to fighting those cravings, because their mere existence will mean that my stomach/nerves are back to whatever ‘normal’ is.
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..... In a twisted way I’m kind of looking forward to fighting those cravings, because their mere existence will mean that my stomach/nerves are back to whatever ‘normal’ is.
I'm with you there Mr. Ferguson. I feel the same way about the dip dreams now. While I don't look forward to them, I am thankful for the renewed perspective and vigor they add to the quit.
Each day your quit gets stronger; soon it will be something valued, treasured even, not something lightly thrown away. Nurture and grow it.
Pleased to see your progress. Always nice to view another man break the chains of servitude and savor the freedom they were born to experience!
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poof
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Day 8
Things as a whole continue to improve. Appetite is better, sleeping is easier (IÂ’m not opposed to using melatonin when needed), and the anxiety in the morning is continuing to disappear. Praise the Lord for all of those developments.
Last night I hung out with some friends and had some drinks - first booze intake since my quit. I felt the crave, but it wasnÂ’t terribly strong. I never felt in danger of caving because these friends have no idea IÂ’ve ever dipped in the first place and I crashed with one of them for the night so I was never isolated enough to where IÂ’d have a potential opportunity to acquire a can relapse. Neither of them use tobacco, either, so there was never going to be any peer pressure that I wouldÂ’ve had to fight. The next challenge on this front will be enjoying a drink in the solitude of my own place with no one else around and maintaining the quit.
The big thing on my mind right now is my dentist appointment that IÂ’ve got scheduled for Monday morning. ItÂ’s been several years since my last visit (I was uninsured for a few years due to my job, and then for a while just got content with not going because I couldnÂ’t stand going to the dentist even when I wasnÂ’t a dipper). IÂ’ve never had any worrisome symptoms/issues to speak of during this time (gums donÂ’t bleed when I floss/brush, no significant tooth/jaw/gum pain, etc.) but I still have random moments of being scared shirtless that somethingÂ’s gonna go off the rails. So prayers are appreciated that things go smoothly when I get in the chair Monday.
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Day 10
GodÂ’s grace and mercy is more than I can ever hope to understand.
I just got back from my first dentist appointment in 5 or 6 years, and things went incredibly well. No cavities, no issues with my gums other than a few spots that measured a 4 on the pocket-checking-stick-thingy (hygienist wasn’t concerned and said that the cleaning today paired with better flossing on those spots should take care of that). Dentist and hygienist both remarked at how good things looked considering my gap in appointments and told me to keep doing what I’ve been doing. I almost cracked a joke that “great, I’ll resume dipping nearly a can a day” but I kept that to myself.
So now this is where I imagine my quit takes on a new challenge/difficulty factor. IÂ’m the past, I wouldÂ’ve celebrated the great news by grabbing a case of beer and an extra can of Copenhagen for tonight. I donÂ’t have that option any longer, because now instead of my quit being motivated primarily by fear, itÂ’s going to be fueled by resolve to maintain my integrity and continue to better myself as a man. Part of that growth is not poisoning myself with nicotine and instead choosing to deny myself the childish behavior of doing whatever I want, whenever I want.
I also want to remain sensitive to the fact that not everyone has visits to the dentist that are this encouraging, and it would be incredibly selfish and arrogant for me to take this blessing IÂ’ve been given for granted.
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Day 17
This past weekend was a test that I was very proud of myself for passing. Had a weekend trip to a cabin with some longtime friends and just a month ago that would have been a prime weekend for dipping like crazy. Out in the woods, fishing, grilling, drinking, etc. several of the other guys in the group had cans and even offered me some at various points but I refused. I wanted to dip, donÂ’t get me wrong, but I wanted to maintain my quit more than I wanted to dip. So thatÂ’s what won out.
Physically IÂ’m doing a lot better - appetite is back to normal, havenÂ’t dealt with any morning anxiety recently either. I definitely feel like my brain is still in the fog at work and thatÂ’s when I usually crave a dip the most - I work remotely so in the past I loved to toss one in and buckle down/get super concentrated (or so I thought). Now I know better and am thankful for the resolve/discipline IÂ’m continuing to build.
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Day 17
This past weekend was a test that I was very proud of myself for passing. Had a weekend trip to a cabin with some longtime friends and just a month ago that would have been a prime weekend for dipping like crazy. Out in the woods, fishing, grilling, drinking, etc. several of the other guys in the group had cans and even offered me some at various points but I refused. I wanted to dip, donÂ’t get me wrong, but I wanted to maintain my quit more than I wanted to dip. So thatÂ’s what won out.
Physically IÂ’m doing a lot better - appetite is back to normal, havenÂ’t dealt with any morning anxiety recently either. I definitely feel like my brain is still in the fog at work and thatÂ’s when I usually crave a dip the most - I work remotely so in the past I loved to toss one in and buckle down/get super concentrated (or so I thought). Now I know better and am thankful for the resolve/discipline IÂ’m continuing to build.
That is a huge win TD. Way to stay strong thanks for sharing. QWYT
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VENT TIME:
As my 23rd day of quit draws to a close IÂ’m going to take advantage of this space to blow off some steam and get real honest.
Weekends have been the toughest times for me by far during my quit. I’ve got more free time on my hands so there’s more time to pursue hobbies or just work on mindless tasks, which in the past I used as justification to throw a dip in. “It’ll help me focus”, “it’ll be more fun with a little buzz (never mind that getting a buzz is wishful thinking when you’re an addict), etc. etc.
So this weekend I got to spend quality time with friends and family, and during those times I never felt tempted to dip, even when some of my friends were doing so while we were together (I was a master at hiding my addiction from these folks, so me not wanting a dip in these situations is nothing new). It has been the ‘afterwards’ that’s the toughest part for me. As an introvert, when I’m done spending time in groups of mostly-extroverted folks I used to look forward to getting back to my place and taking the edge off with a beer and a dip.
Now, I only have the beer (and the occasional bourbon). And if IÂ’m being brutally honest, I do sometimes miss the can as twisted as that may sound. I donÂ’t miss the health risk or the nasty optics or the shame or the cost, but I do miss that false sense of security I got from it. It pisses me off that I let it get to that point, but I did and now IÂ’m dealing with the consequences. So I sit here at the end of day 23 extremely proud of the progress IÂ’ve made during this time, but also intensely aware of how much growing up I still have to do.
Thanks for letting me vent, and if anyone wants to do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
Best argument against nicotine? Hmmm
Click on the intros. At the top there is a pinned intro for my friend Traumagnet. His widow and her aunt are flying 1,000 miles to spend this weekend, the second anniversary of his murder by tobacco, with my wife and me because she canÂ’t live through another anniversary of his murder alone again.
Pretty compelling? Stop even giving it one romantic thought. Nicotine takes. It takes your money. Your heath. Your pride. Honor. Integrity. Your relationships. Fuck it.
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
AppleJack -
Thanks for your response.
No, I was not kidding you. I was taking advantage of this space to vent and get some thoughts in print to help me realize where IÂ’m at and how much growth I have yet to experience.
I don’t for a second think that I “need” that buzz. But part of me still wants it, desperately. And that’s the part of me I’m working to kill by quitting one day at a time.
I apologize if my honesty at this point in my quit is not man enough for you. I quit today and IÂ’m going to do the same damn thing tomorrow.
Make no mistake, I am immensely disappointed that I still want it as bad as I sometimes do. I canÂ’t change my past but I can control how I react moving forward. ThatÂ’s what IÂ’m focused on - rather than suppress/bottle-up my frustrations and let them eat away at me, IÂ’m going to continue to use this space to vent.
And thank you for those arguments against nicotine! Having those in an easily-retrievable location can only help strengthen my quit moving forward.
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
Best argument against nicotine? Hmmm
Click on the intros. At the top there is a pinned intro for my friend Traumagnet. His widow and her aunt are flying 1,000 miles to spend this weekend, the second anniversary of his murder by tobacco, with my wife and me because she canÂ’t live through another anniversary of his murder alone again.
Pretty compelling? Stop even giving it one romantic thought. Nicotine takes. It takes your money. Your heath. Your pride. Honor. Integrity. Your relationships. Fuck it.
Thanks for the response W2W. One of the first things I did after posting my intro was to read the entirety of traumagnetÂ’s thread. It scared the shit out of me and I donÂ’t mean to trivialize his memory by posting what I posted.
My thing at the time was, these companies marketing NRT products would argue that it was the tobacco that was the detrimental issue, not the nicotine. And after going through the weekend I went through, those claims sounded pretty appealing. So thatÂ’s why I posted what I did, when I did.
I donÂ’t say this to try and make it seem like IÂ’m special or IÂ’ve got it worse than anyone or anything like that - I simply needed to take time to vent and archive my thoughts at the time in order to be honest with myself and help strengthen my quit in the moment.
In an ideal world I would be able to just flip a switch and never romanticize the can again. But IÂ’m only human, this world is broken, and IÂ’m 23 days into quitting a 5 year addiction - itÂ’s going to happen. All I can control is how I react to those moments - do I dwell on those thoughts or do I actively move on from them? The past couple of days have taught me I need to do a better job of quitting in the moment and not focusing on quitting on days down the road.
I have immense respect for you, AppleJack, and all of the other vets on this site that have acheived such levels of quit and are still around to provide support. I donÂ’t want to come off as unappreciative or arrogant at all. My post was simply meant to get shit off my chest and get real with myself. The responses and PMs have been very helpful and IÂ’m looking forward to posting roll tomorrow morning.
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
Best argument against nicotine? Hmmm
Click on the intros. At the top there is a pinned intro for my friend Traumagnet. His widow and her aunt are flying 1,000 miles to spend this weekend, the second anniversary of his murder by tobacco, with my wife and me because she canÂ’t live through another anniversary of his murder alone again.
Pretty compelling? Stop even giving it one romantic thought. Nicotine takes. It takes your money. Your heath. Your pride. Honor. Integrity. Your relationships. Fuck it.
Thanks for the response W2W. One of the first things I did after posting my intro was to read the entirety of traumagnetÂ’s thread. It scared the shit out of me and I donÂ’t mean to trivialize his memory by posting what I posted.
My thing at the time was, these companies marketing NRT products would argue that it was the tobacco that was the detrimental issue, not the nicotine. And after going through the weekend I went through, those claims sounded pretty appealing. So thatÂ’s why I posted what I did, when I did.
I donÂ’t say this to try and make it seem like IÂ’m special or IÂ’ve got it worse than anyone or anything like that - I simply needed to take time to vent and archive my thoughts at the time in order to be honest with myself and help strengthen my quit in the moment.
In an ideal world I would be able to just flip a switch and never romanticize the can again. But IÂ’m only human, this world is broken, and IÂ’m 23 days into quitting a 5 year addiction - itÂ’s going to happen. All I can control is how I react to those moments - do I dwell on those thoughts or do I actively move on from them? The past couple of days have taught me I need to do a better job of quitting in the moment and not focusing on quitting on days down the road.
I have immense respect for you, AppleJack, and all of the other vets on this site that have acheived such levels of quit and are still around to provide support. I donÂ’t want to come off as unappreciative or arrogant at all. My post was simply meant to get shit off my chest and get real with myself. The responses and PMs have been very helpful and IÂ’m looking forward to posting roll tomorrow morning.
Mindset is a big part of this. You can romanticize, or you can be angry. Angry that you love a plant. Angry that it has you in its clutches. ItÂ’s like having a hot girlfriend who you banged a lot who gave you syphallis. You can miss banging her or you can be angry that your wang about fell off courtesy of her nastiness. Being angry is the logical answer. Being pissed makes this a lot easier on you.
NRT is a lie btw. It all leads back to tobacco. As for “the buzz”, bro you haven’t felt a real buzz from dip in ages and you know it. You were using it to mask the withdrawal, just like we all did.
23 days of winning (now 24). Celebrate those wins with a big FU to big tobacco.
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
Best argument against nicotine? Hmmm
Click on the intros. At the top there is a pinned intro for my friend Traumagnet. His widow and her aunt are flying 1,000 miles to spend this weekend, the second anniversary of his murder by tobacco, with my wife and me because she canÂ’t live through another anniversary of his murder alone again.
Pretty compelling? Stop even giving it one romantic thought. Nicotine takes. It takes your money. Your heath. Your pride. Honor. Integrity. Your relationships. Fuck it.
Thanks for the response W2W. One of the first things I did after posting my intro was to read the entirety of traumagnetÂ’s thread. It scared the shit out of me and I donÂ’t mean to trivialize his memory by posting what I posted.
My thing at the time was, these companies marketing NRT products would argue that it was the tobacco that was the detrimental issue, not the nicotine. And after going through the weekend I went through, those claims sounded pretty appealing. So thatÂ’s why I posted what I did, when I did.
I donÂ’t say this to try and make it seem like IÂ’m special or IÂ’ve got it worse than anyone or anything like that - I simply needed to take time to vent and archive my thoughts at the time in order to be honest with myself and help strengthen my quit in the moment.
In an ideal world I would be able to just flip a switch and never romanticize the can again. But IÂ’m only human, this world is broken, and IÂ’m 23 days into quitting a 5 year addiction - itÂ’s going to happen. All I can control is how I react to those moments - do I dwell on those thoughts or do I actively move on from them? The past couple of days have taught me I need to do a better job of quitting in the moment and not focusing on quitting on days down the road.
I have immense respect for you, AppleJack, and all of the other vets on this site that have acheived such levels of quit and are still around to provide support. I donÂ’t want to come off as unappreciative or arrogant at all. My post was simply meant to get shit off my chest and get real with myself. The responses and PMs have been very helpful and IÂ’m looking forward to posting roll tomorrow morning.
Mindset is a big part of this. You can romanticize, or you can be angry. Angry that you love a plant. Angry that it has you in its clutches. ItÂ’s like having a hot girlfriend who you banged a lot who gave you syphallis. You can miss banging her or you can be angry that your wang about fell off courtesy of her nastiness. Being angry is the logical answer. Being pissed makes this a lot easier on you.
NRT is a lie btw. It all leads back to tobacco. As for “the buzz”, bro you haven’t felt a real buzz from dip in ages and you know it. You were using it to mask the withdrawal, just like we all did.
23 days of winning (now 24). Celebrate those wins with a big FU to big tobacco.
You've been quiet. How are things going?
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...do me a favor please post or PM your best/favorite arguments against any nicotine in any form. Because there were several times over the course of this weekend where I wanted to explore some of that Black Buffalo dip (tobacco free, contains nicotine - thereÂ’s a part of me that wants that buzz again!) but I never pulled the trigger.
Are you kidding me?
How much more can this site demonize nicotine? Everywhere you look/read we shout from the rooftops that tobacco isnÂ’t your addiction... ItÂ’s nicotine.
YouÂ’re mindset is playing with fire and itÂ’s weak as hell. Get it together and OWN that you need to run like hell from ANYTHING nicotine related.
Need arguments?...
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more powerful than some snake venoms.
* Drop for drop, nicotine is more potent than some poisons.
* At one point nicotine was used as a pesticide but the government deemed it too harmful to wildlife so banned its use... but still allowed it in tobacco products for human consumption. Wtf!?!
The list goes on.
23 days Quit, bro... man up and move on.
Be fucking outraged that you think you still “need” a buzz of that sort.
Own this...
Best argument against nicotine? Hmmm
Click on the intros. At the top there is a pinned intro for my friend Traumagnet. His widow and her aunt are flying 1,000 miles to spend this weekend, the second anniversary of his murder by tobacco, with my wife and me because she canÂ’t live through another anniversary of his murder alone again.
Pretty compelling? Stop even giving it one romantic thought. Nicotine takes. It takes your money. Your heath. Your pride. Honor. Integrity. Your relationships. Fuck it.
Thanks for the response W2W. One of the first things I did after posting my intro was to read the entirety of traumagnetÂ’s thread. It scared the shit out of me and I donÂ’t mean to trivialize his memory by posting what I posted.
My thing at the time was, these companies marketing NRT products would argue that it was the tobacco that was the detrimental issue, not the nicotine. And after going through the weekend I went through, those claims sounded pretty appealing. So thatÂ’s why I posted what I did, when I did.
I donÂ’t say this to try and make it seem like IÂ’m special or IÂ’ve got it worse than anyone or anything like that - I simply needed to take time to vent and archive my thoughts at the time in order to be honest with myself and help strengthen my quit in the moment.
In an ideal world I would be able to just flip a switch and never romanticize the can again. But IÂ’m only human, this world is broken, and IÂ’m 23 days into quitting a 5 year addiction - itÂ’s going to happen. All I can control is how I react to those moments - do I dwell on those thoughts or do I actively move on from them? The past couple of days have taught me I need to do a better job of quitting in the moment and not focusing on quitting on days down the road.
I have immense respect for you, AppleJack, and all of the other vets on this site that have acheived such levels of quit and are still around to provide support. I donÂ’t want to come off as unappreciative or arrogant at all. My post was simply meant to get shit off my chest and get real with myself. The responses and PMs have been very helpful and IÂ’m looking forward to posting roll tomorrow morning.
Mindset is a big part of this. You can romanticize, or you can be angry. Angry that you love a plant. Angry that it has you in its clutches. ItÂ’s like having a hot girlfriend who you banged a lot who gave you syphallis. You can miss banging her or you can be angry that your wang about fell off courtesy of her nastiness. Being angry is the logical answer. Being pissed makes this a lot easier on you.
NRT is a lie btw. It all leads back to tobacco. As for “the buzz”, bro you haven’t felt a real buzz from dip in ages and you know it. You were using it to mask the withdrawal, just like we all did.
23 days of winning (now 24). Celebrate those wins with a big FU to big tobacco.
You've been quiet. How are things going?
Past couple of days have been a lot better - thanks for asking.
The mood volatility/emotional swings are taking some getting used to. That was one of the things that drew me to nicotine/dip - I self-medicated with it because I felt like it evened me out (when in reality I was using it as a numbing agent). Not fun to face the music on some of these revelations but I know in the long run itÂ’s the best thing for me.
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Day 40
My 40th day of my quit is winding down and I’ve got some time on my hands so I figured I’ll update my intro/‘journal’.
ItÂ’s wild to think that this is the longest stretch without nicotine that IÂ’ve acheived in nearly 6 years. A lot of mixed emotions come with that realization - pride in what IÂ’ve been able to accomplish to that point, but also sad that I spent that time in the past under nicotineÂ’s thumb.
Physically IÂ’m not doing too bad. The most intense cravings IÂ’ve had to this point weÂ’re around day 23, which was documented earlier in this thread. I had an important win over the weekend in that it was my first weekend at the family vacation home without nicotine being involved in nearly 6 years. In the past IÂ’d dip during the 3 hr drive there, have a cigar or three over the weekend (no dipping around the fam), then grab my half-empty can from underneath my driverÂ’s seat on Sunday for the drive home and resume dipping. I certainly had cravings over the weekend, but I was better prepared to face them because of the 35+ days I had under my belt leading up to that weekend.
I donÂ’t deal with anxiety any more which IÂ’m very grateful for - I think most if not all of my initial anxiety at the beginning of my quit was due to the unknown of what my next dentist appointment would reveal. Once I got that out of the way, my anxiety disappeared. My appetite has not been lacking and consequently IÂ’ll probably need to start going to the gym after vacation next week.
I still find myself ‘in the fog’ at times when I’m at work - that’s frustrating to deal with, but I press on believing that it’s a small price to pay for the emotional/mental/physical healing my body continues to undergo.
Are there still times I really want to throw a lip in? Abso-freaking-lutely. But at this point IÂ’m committed to growing up and not living life with all of these crutches/substance dependencies ordering the steps of my life.
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Day 40
My 40th day of my quit is winding down and I’ve got some time on my hands so I figured I’ll update my intro/‘journal’.
ItÂ’s wild to think that this is the longest stretch without nicotine that IÂ’ve acheived in nearly 6 years. A lot of mixed emotions come with that realization - pride in what IÂ’ve been able to accomplish to that point, but also sad that I spent that time in the past under nicotineÂ’s thumb.
Physically IÂ’m not doing too bad. The most intense cravings IÂ’ve had to this point weÂ’re around day 23, which was documented earlier in this thread. I had an important win over the weekend in that it was my first weekend at the family vacation home without nicotine being involved in nearly 6 years. In the past IÂ’d dip during the 3 hr drive there, have a cigar or three over the weekend (no dipping around the fam), then grab my half-empty can from underneath my driverÂ’s seat on Sunday for the drive home and resume dipping. I certainly had cravings over the weekend, but I was better prepared to face them because of the 35+ days I had under my belt leading up to that weekend.
I donÂ’t deal with anxiety any more which IÂ’m very grateful for - I think most if not all of my initial anxiety at the beginning of my quit was due to the unknown of what my next dentist appointment would reveal. Once I got that out of the way, my anxiety disappeared. My appetite has not been lacking and consequently IÂ’ll probably need to start going to the gym after vacation next week.
I still find myself ‘in the fog’ at times when I’m at work - that’s frustrating to deal with, but I press on believing that it’s a small price to pay for the emotional/mental/physical healing my body continues to undergo.
Are there still times I really want to throw a lip in? Abso-freaking-lutely. But at this point IÂ’m committed to growing up and not living life with all of these crutches/substance dependencies ordering the steps of my life.
TF,
Thanks for sharing those wins. All a huge accomplishments and helps the rest of us in October keep gaining steam too. Nice Zero, proud to be QWYT.
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Poof