KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Mike_Land on November 29, 2012, 07:31:00 PM
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I pulled the trigger and quit cold turkey November 24. It's been hard but i'm making it through it. I have so many triggers it's not even funny. Getting in the truck, taking a dump, after eating, when I get up, before I go to sleep. Almost anything can trigger the craves for me.
A bit about myself. 48 years old, married with 4 kids 23, 20, 16, and 2!. Yep you read it right. A 2 year old. It's ok though. She's daddy's baby and a big inspiration for me to stay on track with my quit.
I started chewing beech nut leaf and king B twist when I was about 14 years old. I moved on to skoal after about a year. When I started you could buy a can of Skoal, fine cut wintergreen for 55 cents a can. Of course I always swore I would quit when the price reached a dollar, then 2 dollars, then 3 and now in some places 4 or almost 5. Did I quit? Nope!! what a loser I was. For the last 20 years i've used an average of 2 cans of Fine cut wintergreen per day. I couldn't go anywhere without my little friend in my pocket. Major panic attacks occured if I found I had forgotten to get my can of snuff. It really has controlled my life for the last 36 years. But here is what I have to say to that now.... 'Finger' and 'arse' and 'na na' .
Right now it has been 6 days. It is hard but i'm making it through it. I'm doing alot of this 'bang head' and this 'drool' and sometimes I feel like this 'flush' . Hopefully I can make some good contacts here and get alot of 'help' .
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I pulled the trigger and quit cold turkey November 24. It's been hard but i'm making it through it. I have so many triggers it's not even funny. Getting in the truck, taking a dump, after eating, when I get up, before I go to sleep. Almost anything can trigger the craves for me.
A bit about myself. 48 years old, married with 4 kids 23, 20, 16, and 2!. Yep you read it right. A 2 year old. It's ok though. She's daddy's baby and a big inspiration for me to stay on track with my quit.
I started chewing beech nut leaf and king B twist when I was about 14 years old. I moved on to skoal after about a year. When I started you could buy a can of Skoal, fine cut wintergreen for 55 cents a can. Of course I always swore I would quit when the price reached a dollar, then 2 dollars, then 3 and now in some places 4 or almost 5. Did I quit? Nope!! what a loser I was. For the last 20 years i've used an average of 2 cans of Fine cut wintergreen per day. I couldn't go anywhere without my little friend in my pocket. Major panic attacks occured if I found I had forgotten to get my can of snuff. It really has controlled my life for the last 36 years. But here is what I have to say to that now.... 'Finger' and 'arse' and 'na na' .
Right now it has been 6 days. It is hard but i'm making it through it. I'm doing alot of this 'bang head' and this 'drool' and sometimes I feel like this 'flush' . Hopefully I can make some good contacts here and get alot of 'help' .
Welcome Mike, this site has been very helpful to many of us. Start reading in the Welcome enter and get yourself into the March Mad men quit group. The 'live chat' link in the upper right hand corner is also very helpful.
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Welcome to KTC and congratulations on making the decision to quit. You will never regret it. This site is a life saver. Just read, read and read some more. If you haven't already, just stroll on over to the March 13 quit group and post up. Post roll early everyday and reach out to your brothers and sisters. Their are some awesome quitters on this site that would drop anything to help a quitter in need. If you ever need anything just pm me. I'm always available and always on KTC. I quit with you today.
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:wub: your attitude about the quit. You're in the right place for 'help' quitting. It's not going to be easy, but it's so simple there's no way our addict minds can struggle with it.
1. Post roll daily
2. Keep your word
3. Rinse and repeat
We all do it, so can you. Swapping numbers with the guys in your group and reading EVERYTHING on the site is excellent quit fuel too.
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So, I think I've had a "OMG!! That was me 157 days ago" moment.
Everyday at noon and midnight we have "midshift" meetings. We have to report to the management asshats what we have been doing since the beginning of shift. There are about 10 guys lined up shoulder to shoulder around the Unit supervisors desk. Today there was a guy two over from me that had a large ass cat turd of cope in his mouth. I could smell it! It was horrible. I might as well have had my nose buried in a freshly opened can of cope. Jesus!! that stunk. That guy moved away and I smelled something else. It was something wintergreen. Someone near had a big mouth full of something wintergreen. God almighty I swear that stuff was potent!. I can't believe that that used to be me! I have been in this situation before. Several times over the last couple of months I've been in this exact situation but the smells never bothered me that much. But tonight, it was the most stinking shit i've ever smelled. I thought I might have to move. My eyes started to water. It almost made me gag.
I think I've definetly turned a corner in my quit. I can't stand the smell of this shit. Not even the fake stuff. Here's to KTC and 157 days of quit. And here is to one more day tomorrow!!
Mike
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So, I think I've had a "OMG!! That was me 157 days ago" moment.
Everyday at noon and midnight we have "midshift" meetings. We have to report to the management asshats what we have been doing since the beginning of shift. There are about 10 guys lined up shoulder to shoulder around the Unit supervisors desk. Today there was a guy two over from me that had a large ass cat turd of cope in his mouth. I could smell it! It was horrible. I might as well have had my nose buried in a freshly opened can of cope. Jesus!! that stunk. That guy moved away and I smelled something else. It was something wintergreen. Someone near had a big mouth full of something wintergreen. God almighty I swear that stuff was potent!. I can't believe that that used to be me! I have been in this situation before. Several times over the last couple of months I've been in this exact situation but the smells never bothered me that much. But tonight, it was the most stinking shit i've ever smelled. I thought I might have to move. My eyes started to water. It almost made me gag.
I think I've definetly turned a corner in my quit. I can't stand the smell of this shit. Not even the fake stuff. Here's to KTC and 157 days of quit. And here is to one more day tomorrow!!
Mike
Outstanding
'clap'
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So, I think I've had a "OMG!! That was me 157 days ago" moment.
Everyday at noon and midnight we have "midshift" meetings. We have to report to the management asshats what we have been doing since the beginning of shift. There are about 10 guys lined up shoulder to shoulder around the Unit supervisors desk. Today there was a guy two over from me that had a large ass cat turd of cope in his mouth. I could smell it! It was horrible. I might as well have had my nose buried in a freshly opened can of cope. Jesus!! that stunk. That guy moved away and I smelled something else. It was something wintergreen. Someone near had a big mouth full of something wintergreen. God almighty I swear that stuff was potent!. I can't believe that that used to be me! I have been in this situation before. Several times over the last couple of months I've been in this exact situation but the smells never bothered me that much. But tonight, it was the most stinking shit i've ever smelled. I thought I might have to move. My eyes started to water. It almost made me gag.
I think I've definetly turned a corner in my quit. I can't stand the smell of this shit. Not even the fake stuff. Here's to KTC and 157 days of quit. And here is to one more day tomorrow!!
Mike
Quit Wood right there.
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So, I think I've had a "OMG!! That was me 157 days ago" moment.
Everyday at noon and midnight we have "midshift" meetings. We have to report to the management asshats what we have been doing since the beginning of shift. There are about 10 guys lined up shoulder to shoulder around the Unit supervisors desk. Today there was a guy two over from me that had a large ass cat turd of cope in his mouth. I could smell it! It was horrible. I might as well have had my nose buried in a freshly opened can of cope. Jesus!! that stunk. That guy moved away and I smelled something else. It was something wintergreen. Someone near had a big mouth full of something wintergreen. God almighty I swear that stuff was potent!. I can't believe that that used to be me! I have been in this situation before. Several times over the last couple of months I've been in this exact situation but the smells never bothered me that much. But tonight, it was the most stinking shit i've ever smelled. I thought I might have to move. My eyes started to water. It almost made me gag.
I think I've definetly turned a corner in my quit. I can't stand the smell of this shit. Not even the fake stuff. Here's to KTC and 157 days of quit. And here is to one more day tomorrow!!
Mike
Outstanding
'clap'
Good on ya Mike, keep on quitting brother!
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So, I think I've had a "OMG!! That was me 157 days ago" moment.
Everyday at noon and midnight we have "midshift" meetings. We have to report to the management asshats what we have been doing since the beginning of shift. There are about 10 guys lined up shoulder to shoulder around the Unit supervisors desk. Today there was a guy two over from me that had a large ass cat turd of cope in his mouth. I could smell it! It was horrible. I might as well have had my nose buried in a freshly opened can of cope. Jesus!! that stunk. That guy moved away and I smelled something else. It was something wintergreen. Someone near had a big mouth full of something wintergreen. God almighty I swear that stuff was potent!. I can't believe that that used to be me! I have been in this situation before. Several times over the last couple of months I've been in this exact situation but the smells never bothered me that much. But tonight, it was the most stinking shit i've ever smelled. I thought I might have to move. My eyes started to water. It almost made me gag.
I think I've definetly turned a corner in my quit. I can't stand the smell of this shit. Not even the fake stuff. Here's to KTC and 157 days of quit. And here is to one more day tomorrow!!
Mike
Outstanding
'clap'
Good on ya Mike, keep on quitting brother!
Excellent work. The sense of smell and taste has returned. Nice, huh?
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WTF is going on the last few days with some guys on this site? One guy wants to test his quit by getting a can, having a dip and what? Seeing if you are automatically hooked again. What the fuck is up with that. That is absolute stupidity. Another guy just gives up after making the HOF and decides it's not worth being quit and then writes a post saying his goodbyes. I don't get that shit either.
I am going to do what one person advised on another post. I am going to invest myself in my quit and the quit of those that I know are committed to this site and it's philosophy. I am here to support newbies like Erussell and Papabear and vets like Evil and sportsfan and even OIB. I know these guys are committed and have wholly bought in to the KTC philosophy. I also know that I can trust their word which is lots more than I can say about a few people here recently.
I have made it a habit to come to the introductions page to find the new quitters and hopefully be able to help them if I can. I also like the add ons that the vets have added to their intros detailing experiences they have had with their quit. They inspire me to continue strengthening my quit.
"But Mike, you have been quit almost 200 day, You have it made" you say. BULLSHIT. I don't have it made and neither does anybody else on this site. I don't care if you are a day 1 quitter or a seasoned vet like Big Brother Jack and have been quit almost 20 years. Nobody has it made. We fight this battle every single day of our lives. Every single day I make the choice to quit or cave. For 198 days I have chosen to quit. And by the grace of God I will continue to quit everyday for the rest of my life.
For those of you who have chosen to cave or tempt fate as the case may be, I encourage you to get back on the wagon. Post your day 1 in the appropriate group. Buy in to the KTC philosophy. Sell out completely to your quit. I know that this method of quitting works. No I'm not an expert but I used for over 36 years and have tried quitting multiple times. This is the only method that has worked. I have seen almost every single person on my mother's side of the family die from the use of tobacco. I know of only one that did not smoke or chew but she was around people breathing second hand smoke her whole life and she died from cancer as well. I don't want to see any of you wind up the way they did. Why in the world would you want to tempt fate? It makes no sense what so ever.
Ok I've rambled enough. Let's all concentrate on our quits. Let the dumb bastards go. They must choose which way they will go. We can cuss and discuss this all day long but in the end only they can decide which way they will go.
Quit on brothers and sisters.
Mike
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There are only two options :1. Character and Integrity!!!
2.Failure.
Each shall choose and each shall pass or fail.
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Wow powerful words and true Mike. While a lot of people joining get it right away, in my short time I have noticed how close some get to understanding the site but miss it, sad part is that is like a heart attack victim making it to the HP but refusing to go inside. What is frustrating is that you know you can't make everyone see the light, but you know how wonderful the warmth of that light is and if you could only get them to step in with you for just a moment....then damn it they turn away. You hang in there, there are folks like myself who look up to you and your quit man. I quit with you every day!
Razd I'll take option one, if I read correctly on this site its also the more likely option to lengthen life span. Well said Razd!
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WTF is going on the last few days with some guys on this site? One guy wants to test his quit by getting a can, having a dip and what? Seeing if you are automatically hooked again. What the fuck is up with that. That is absolute stupidity. Another guy just gives up after making the HOF and decides it's not worth being quit and then writes a post saying his goodbyes. I don't get that shit either.
I am going to do what one person advised on another post. I am going to invest myself in my quit and the quit of those that I know are committed to this site and it's philosophy. I am here to support newbies like Erussell and Papabear and vets like Evil and sportsfan and even OIB. I know these guys are committed and have wholly bought in to the KTC philosophy. I also know that I can trust their word which is lots more than I can say about a few people here recently.
I have made it a habit to come to the introductions page to find the new quitters and hopefully be able to help them if I can. I also like the add ons that the vets have added to their intros detailing experiences they have had with their quit. They inspire me to continue strengthening my quit.
"But Mike, you have been quit almost 200 day, You have it made" you say. BULLSHIT. I don't have it made and neither does anybody else on this site. I don't care if you are a day 1 quitter or a seasoned vet like Big Brother Jack and have been quit almost 20 years. Nobody has it made. We fight this battle every single day of our lives. Every single day I make the choice to quit or cave. For 198 days I have chosen to quit. And by the grace of God I will continue to quit everyday for the rest of my life.
For those of you who have chosen to cave or tempt fate as the case may be, I encourage you to get back on the wagon. Post your day 1 in the appropriate group. Buy in to the KTC philosophy. Sell out completely to your quit. I know that this method of quitting works. No I'm not an expert but I used for over 36 years and have tried quitting multiple times. This is the only method that has worked. I have seen almost every single person on my mother's side of the family die from the use of tobacco. I know of only one that did not smoke or chew but she was around people breathing second hand smoke her whole life and she died from cancer as well. I don't want to see any of you wind up the way they did. Why in the world would you want to tempt fate? It makes no sense what so ever.
Ok I've rambled enough. Let's all concentrate on our quits. Let the dumb bastards go. They must choose which way they will go. We can cuss and discuss this all day long but in the end only they can decide which way they will go.
Quit on brothers and sisters.
Mike
Well said. Too much nonsense for my taste of late here. Quit with you.
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"Testing your quit"
That's like testing the firing pin in your revolver by looking down the barrel with one in the chamber to see if it come up the barrel real quick.
I can tell you what will happen. You will succeed! You will have one dip, put it down and be fine. The next day, or later that day, you will celebrate your success by yes! "having another dip" because you succeeded! Since this was such a great success, you may as well finish the can, because, well shit, you have it under control. After that can, since everything is under control, you can continue to dip because, well shit, you have it under control. Then, when they saw your jaw off, well, shit. Better hope the doctor has the saw under better control than you did.
Don't mind me, I'm just a malcontent, I can't even drink.
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"Testing your quit"
That's like testing the firing pin in your revolver by looking down the barrel with one in the chamber to see if it come up the barrel real quick.
I can tell you what will happen. You will succeed! You will have one dip, put it down and be fine. The next day, or later that day, you will celebrate your success by yes! "having another dip" because you succeeded! Since this was such a great success, you may as well finish the can, because, well shit, you have it under control. After that can, since everything is under control, you can continue to dip because, well shit, you have it under control. Then, when they saw your jaw off, well, shit. Better hope the doctor has the saw under better control than you did.
Don't mind me, I just a malcontent, I can't even drink.
This is so brilliant and describes my mentality for years. No more.
I truly believe one must accept the fact that they are an addict for life before one can truly start to be quit one day at a time.
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I am 21 days into my life changing quit. Reading about caves helps me grow stronger in my quit. Its all a mind game. No way will I let nicotine mind fuck me the way some of these weak minded cavers have. Cave stories are gasoline for my quit fire. Stay strong brothers and sisters.
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Thanks for starting this thread Mike, you have a very good way with your words, as do some of the others that have responded.
Lets hope we can spend this next week more focused on our quits and the new folks that can actually use the help. People that are willing to listen to the years of experience the veterans on this site have.
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WTF is going on the last few days with some guys on this site? One guy wants to test his quit by getting a can, having a dip and what? Seeing if you are automatically hooked again. What the fuck is up with that. That is absolute stupidity. Another guy just gives up after making the HOF and decides it's not worth being quit and then writes a post saying his goodbyes. I don't get that shit either.
I am going to do what one person advised on another post. I am going to invest myself in my quit and the quit of those that I know are committed to this site and it's philosophy. I am here to support newbies like Erussell and Papabear and vets like Evil and sportsfan and even OIB. I know these guys are committed and have wholly bought in to the KTC philosophy. I also know that I can trust their word which is lots more than I can say about a few people here recently.
I have made it a habit to come to the introductions page to find the new quitters and hopefully be able to help them if I can. I also like the add ons that the vets have added to their intros detailing experiences they have had with their quit. They inspire me to continue strengthening my quit.
"But Mike, you have been quit almost 200 day, You have it made" you say. BULLSHIT. I don't have it made and neither does anybody else on this site. I don't care if you are a day 1 quitter or a seasoned vet like Big Brother Jack and have been quit almost 20 years. Nobody has it made. We fight this battle every single day of our lives. Every single day I make the choice to quit or cave. For 198 days I have chosen to quit. And by the grace of God I will continue to quit everyday for the rest of my life.
For those of you who have chosen to cave or tempt fate as the case may be, I encourage you to get back on the wagon. Post your day 1 in the appropriate group. Buy in to the KTC philosophy. Sell out completely to your quit. I know that this method of quitting works. No I'm not an expert but I used for over 36 years and have tried quitting multiple times. This is the only method that has worked. I have seen almost every single person on my mother's side of the family die from the use of tobacco. I know of only one that did not smoke or chew but she was around people breathing second hand smoke her whole life and she died from cancer as well. I don't want to see any of you wind up the way they did. Why in the world would you want to tempt fate? It makes no sense what so ever.
Ok I've rambled enough. Let's all concentrate on our quits. Let the dumb bastards go. They must choose which way they will go. We can cuss and discuss this all day long but in the end only they can decide which way they will go.
Quit on brothers and sisters.
Mike
Who wrote a goodbye post saying its not worth it anymore. Missed that one. Was busy living life this weekend.
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Does it count if while getting out of the shower and naked I take 4-5 cans of Copenhagen and rub it all over my body? Just savoring that delicious, tantalizing scent as it adheres to my body always makes me smile...
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DISTURBING, BUT FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!! 'crackup' 'crackup'
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DISTURBING, BUT FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!! 'crackup' 'crackup'
just to set the record straight, I left my computer open while I went to lunch. My co-workers, who happen to be a really malicious group of people and give me tons of shit about how I post roll everyday and spend so much time on KTC, thought it would be great fun to post that little story about rubbing cope all over my naked self. I might rub something all over me while naked but it sure as shit won't have nicotine in it!
:D 'arse' 'crackup'
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DISTURBING, BUT FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!! 'crackup'Â 'crackup'
just to set the record straight, I left my computer open while I went to lunch. My co-workers, who happen to be a really malicious group of people and give me tons of shit about how I post roll everyday and spend so much time on KTC, thought it would be great fun to post that little story about rubbing cope all over my naked self. I might rub something all over me while naked but it sure as shit won't have nicotine in it!
:D 'arse' 'crackup'
tsk, tsk, watch that computer my friend....
what would have been better is if they said that was the dip dream you had last night...... 'crackup'
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Hahaha well ok at least they have a sense of humor!! :D
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DISTURBING, BUT FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!! 'crackup'Â 'crackup'
just to set the record straight, I left my computer open while I went to lunch. My co-workers, who happen to be a really malicious group of people and give me tons of shit about how I post roll everyday and spend so much time on KTC, thought it would be great fun to post that little story about rubbing cope all over my naked self. I might rub something all over me while naked but it sure as shit won't have nicotine in it!
:D 'arse' 'crackup'
tsk, tsk, watch that computer my friend....
what would have been better is if they said that was the dip dream you had last night...... 'crackup'
How fucked up and funny all at the same time.
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DISTURBING, BUT FRICKING HILARIOUS!!!! 'crackup'Â 'crackup'
just to set the record straight, I left my computer open while I went to lunch. My co-workers, who happen to be a really malicious group of people and give me tons of shit about how I post roll everyday and spend so much time on KTC, thought it would be great fun to post that little story about rubbing cope all over my naked self. I might rub something all over me while naked but it sure as shit won't have nicotine in it!
:D 'arse' 'crackup'
tsk, tsk, watch that computer my friend....
what would have been better is if they said that was the dip dream you had last night...... 'crackup'
How fucked up and funny all at the same time.
That has to be the funniest shit ever. I guess you will now be pressing Ctrl+Alt+Delete and then locking your computer down every time to walk away.
Your co-workers made my day.
'crackup' 'Moe'
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300 days...It doesn't seem possible that it has been that long. I sometimes can't believe that I've been successful at kicking the bitch out of my life for 10 months. That is about 4 months longer than any of the many other times I tried to quit. Wonder what the difference is? Well, I'm glad you asked.
The difference between this quit and the multiple stops of the past is that I have the best support system a guy could want. KTC and the people that I have met, online and in person have made all the difference between this being a true quit and not just another stoppage. I'm celebrating reaching this point in my quit because of the people who have inspired me. Chewie, Theo3wood, Bait, BJDog, Sir Derek, MFKuss, Sportsfan, Scowick and numerous other people have all played a part. Whether I met you at a meet or you showed your support by sending daily text like Cdaniels, I thank you for being there for me.
So here are a few things I have learned over the last 300 days.
1. Focus on the daily battle. This is a a daily thing. Never look past today. It will only overwhelm you. Like Sportsfan said, "those one day at a times add up".
2. Don't think that reaching a milestone is the end of the road. The battle with the addiction will continue on. In the words of Keddy, "Celebrate your accomplishment and then press on" There are more victories and nic free experiences to have in the future.
3. Try to be a mentor. I have found that trying to mentor someone in their quit makes my own quit that much better. It's another thing that helps hold me accountable.
4. You can't save everyone. I have had several guys that I tried to connect with and mentor fall off the wagon. That is not my fault. It took me a while to figure that out. I kept thinking that if I had tried a little harder to say the right words or made the call a lttle sooner then those guys would not have failed. In the end it is those guys who made the choice to give up and cave to the whore. What we have to do is pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and move on. There are those out there who need us. Find them and keep moving forward with our quit.
5. Remember that this is a daily battle. Dont' think you have won just because you made the hall of fame, reached 300 days or even a comma or half comma. Think you have won and letting your guard down is exactly when the bitch will pounce because that is when we are the most vulnerable. Always guard your quit.
6. Posting may seem crazy to you after so many days, but remember that that is how we give our word to each other. I am not a 100% poster. I have missed a few days. I can tell you that those days are the ones that give me the most trouble. One because I feel like I let myself down, two because I feel like I have let those who are counting on me down. Try to post everyday and as early as possible. It's a pillar of our quit.
Thanks for being part of my quit. I will continue the fight, pressing on towards one year and beyond. One day at a time. Just one day at a time.
Mike
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'clap' very good read congrats on 300
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Congrats on 300 awesome work!
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I know I'm late to the party, Mike, but that's a great 300 days post. 'Cheers'
Somehow, however, I previously missed this very old comment:
I am here to support newbies like Erussell and Papabear and vets like Evil and sportsfan and even OIB.
Sheesh. I may have to finally start an intro page just to register the complaints.
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I'm getting close to one year. I can't believe it's been that long. I'll have more on that later. Right now I really need to find a way to speak to a friend without pissing him off or pushing him away.
My friend and co-worker, Matt is a long time dipper like myself. We have known each other about 5 years and we work together on the same crew at the nuke plant. He's a good dude.
However, we have a problem. Matt has dipped for many years but recently decided to quit. He has done that. He hasn't had a dip in my sight in a couple of months. He's very proud of himself. I'm proud of him as well but he hasn't really addressed his real problem nicotine. You see, Matt replaced his dip with his electronic cigarette. He is still using nicotine. He thinks he is quit but he is very wrong. He doesn't really understand that he just replaced one delivery method with another one. The sad thing is that after working so hard to not have a psychological addiction to dipping, he is still a slave to the nic bitch because he is still putting it in his system.
I'm not sure how to approach this with him. Anybody got any ideas?
A word to the newbies and lurkers: Dipping, cigarettes and the many other methods of delivery are not the enemy here. The real enemy is nicotine. We are not addicted to dipping or smoking. We are addicted to nicotine People have to understand that before they can effectively address thier addiction. otherwise you windup like my friend Matt, Still a slave to the bitch, just using a different delivery method.
Keep on Quitting!
Mike
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My approach would be to ask the question of is he quitting tobacco or just dip? Then I would ask if the e-cig is safe and causes no damage to your body. Then I would really try to press that a recovering drug addict goes to a methadone clinic or others to recover, but that doesn't make them drug free yet.
Sure we quit on the extreme here and not everyone has the testicular fortitude to do just that. I would also point out that he isn't quitting but rather substituting.
Kind of like the old saying "the safest sex is abstinence" the safest way to quit tobacco is the actually quit tobacco.
You could also break down the cost for him, a can a day at $/Ea versus a e-cig and whatever. I have a jar on my desk that each day I put $4 in to celebrate another day quit. My co-workers who are also addicts see that and I know it helps weigh on their minds.
This is just my $0.03,
Pinched
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well, for what could be a touchy subject.
I would maybe start by asking you friend what was the purpose of what he wanted to do. And what I mean by that is, did he just want to quit the habit of having something in his lip for the most part, which in replacing the dip with the e-cig seems like he may have done.
Or was it to quit nicotine all together and break the grasp of being addicted to a substance.
Cause what he is doing is the first. He will still have the monetary pull for buying a product. He will still get the cravings to go and get more when he runs out.
I think a lot of it will be educating him and trying to show him that really not much has changed as one has just replaced the other. Hell even ask him to stop the e-cig for a day or so and see what happens. He might then realize that yes this is still an addiction.
brother I am wishing you the best in whatever and however you approach him.
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well, for what could be a touchy subject.
I would maybe start by asking you friend what was the purpose of what he wanted to do. And what I mean by that is, did he just want to quit the habit of having something in his lip for the most part, which in replacing the dip with the e-cig seems like he may have done.
Or was it to quit nicotine all together and break the grasp of being addicted to a substance.
Cause what he is doing is the first. He will still have the monetary pull for buying a product. He will still get the cravings to go and get more when he runs out.
I think a lot of it will be educating him and trying to show him that really not much has changed as one has just replaced the other. Hell even ask him to stop the e-cig for a day or so and see what happens. He might then realize that yes this is still an addiction.
brother I am wishing you the best in whatever and however you approach him.
E-cigs are an extremely touchy subject. I've had some screaming fights with people about them, and I don't think I changed a single mind. Vapers and e-cig people are often as passionate as we quitters are. So, my personal approach has evolved into a sort of polite, but smug, dismissiveness. For example, "nice that you're not smoking or chewing, but sad that you're not willing to address your addiction. What do you do when you run out of battery or juice and you have a craving?"
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is there anyway to remove that bikini top???
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is there anyway to remove that bikini top???
Sorry to mess up your thread, Mike, but this is your second intro thread, and a young quit depends on this:
"kate upton" + Google.com = lots of stuff like this (http://i.imgur.com/sDGZe.jpg).
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well, for what could be a touchy subject.
I would maybe start by asking you friend what was the purpose of what he wanted to do. And what I mean by that is, did he just want to quit the habit of having something in his lip for the most part, which in replacing the dip with the e-cig seems like he may have done.
Or was it to quit nicotine all together and break the grasp of being addicted to a substance.
Cause what he is doing is the first. He will still have the monetary pull for buying a product. He will still get the cravings to go and get more when he runs out.
I think a lot of it will be educating him and trying to show him that really not much has changed as one has just replaced the other. Hell even ask him to stop the e-cig for a day or so and see what happens. He might then realize that yes this is still an addiction.
brother I am wishing you the best in whatever and however you approach him.
E-cigs are an extremely touchy subject. I've had some screaming fights with people about them, and I don't think I changed a single mind. Vapers and e-cig people are often as passionate as we quitters are. So, my personal approach has evolved into a sort of polite, but smug, dismissiveness. For example, "nice that you're not smoking or chewing, but sad that you're not willing to address your addiction. What do you do when you run out of battery or juice and you have a craving?"
He may not know he is still getting the chemical he is after. Think of how many people show up here that they are quit when patched or gum or whatever. Sometimes that ole light bulb doesn't turn on as quick especially if you want to wear blinders.
Direct and firm approach you will either get a thank you or a fuck you mind your own damn bidness either way you planted the seed.
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I agree with Trauma's approach. It's best to at least plant the seed with your friend. You could also start out a casual conversation on why he decided to quit dip. Is it for his health, a requirement for employment, or wife/girlfriend?
If he is quitting for himself or for better health, then he needs to know what nicotine is doing to his system. It's definitely a much harder sell if he is just interested in changing the delivery method of the nicotine. We all know that.
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Today I posted 456 days. For someone who dipped pretty much 24/7 for 36 years that is a long time to go without nicotine. You would think that after that many days you would be almost like you had never dipped. After a little over a years time you would think that you could go about your daily life and never give dip a second thought. I have found that that is not the case for me.
I generally post roll and then go about my day without thinking about dip. But here recently I have been continually reminded that, after 456 days of quit, I am still an addict and must always be on the lookout for the nicotine bitch who is trying to sneak back into my life. I have experienced craves from hell and for the last few nights I've had the most vivid dip dreams. It is amazing how real those dreams seem. I have awakened the last three nights thinking I had caved. My hands were shaking and I was so on edge because for a brief moment I thought I had started using again.
My cross to carry I guess. I know that I will never be a non addict again. All of us here must fight this battle every day and always have each other's back. Thanks to all of you who have played a part in my quit. I would never have made it this far without the support of my KTC family. I know that when I have those days when I'm craving or after I've had one of those vivid dip dreams, I can come to KTC, post roll, do some reading and get my quit jump started again.
Let me encourage those of you who are relatively new to get more involved than just posting roll. Get involved in chat. Get all the numbers you can. Give a quitter a call just to check on how he is doing. You don't have to be in the middle of a crisis to reach out to some one. Go to a get together. I've been to the Pa and the Ga meets. Those are some of the best times I've had in my life. I can't wait till the pa meet in august.
Thanks for listening and reading my ramblings. Sometimes you just have to put it all down on paper.
Mike
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Today I posted 456 days. For someone who dipped pretty much 24/7 for 36 years that is a long time to go without nicotine. You would think that after that many days you would be almost like you had never dipped. After a little over a years time you would think that you could go about your daily life and never give dip a second thought. I have found that that is not the case for me.
I generally post roll and then go about my day without thinking about dip. But here recently I have been continually reminded that, after 456 days of quit, I am still an addict and must always be on the lookout for the nicotine bitch who is trying to sneak back into my life. I have experienced craves from hell and for the last few nights I've had the most vivid dip dreams. It is amazing how real those dreams seem. I have awakened the last three nights thinking I had caved. My hands were shaking and I was so on edge because for a brief moment I thought I had started using again.
My cross to carry I guess. I know that I will never be a non addict again. All of us here must fight this battle every day and always have each other's back. Thanks to all of you who have played a part in my quit. I would never have made it this far without the support of my KTC family. I know that when I have those days when I'm craving or after I've had one of those vivid dip dreams, I can come to KTC, post roll, do some reading and get my quit jump started again.
Let me encourage those of you who are relatively new to get more involved than just posting roll. Get involved in chat. Get all the numbers you can. Give a quitter a call just to check on how he is doing. You don't have to be in the middle of a crisis to reach out to some one. Go to a get together. I've been to the Pa and the Ga meets. Those are some of the best times I've had in my life. I can't wait till the pa meet in august.
Thanks for listening and reading my ramblings. Sometimes you just have to put it all down on paper.
Mike
Great post Mike. At 744 days I can tell you it still remains for me and I doubt it every completely disappears. We remain addicts and life keeps bring up good times, bad times and new triggers we didn't see in the first few hundred days.
Newbies, you are not cured at 100 days or 1000 days. At 200 or 300 days you haven't even faced all the seasonal triggers the nic bitch will toss out. Staying active on this site gives me the daily reminder of why I protect my quit. That is all I need to kick nics ass every time. As soon as we forget we are addicts, we lose.
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'worship' 'worship' 'worship'
YOU ARE THE MAN! CONGRATS ON 500 BRO! WAY TO BE AN EXAMPLE!
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500!
Awesome job bro!
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500!
Awesome job bro!
This is to freakin cool man. Great job!!
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500!
Awesome job bro!
This is to freakin cool man. Great job!!
Great job!! Congrats!
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500!
Awesome job bro!
This is to freakin cool man. Great job!!
Great job!! Congrats!
Dang man, Congrats on the big 500 Mike.
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500!
Awesome job bro!
This is to freakin cool man. Great job!!
Great job!! Congrats!
Dang man, Congrats on the big 500 Mike.
Half comma's are awesome, congrats!
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Nice job! Glad you are still coming around too!
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Day 512 and still quit. That's Q U I T, Quit!! Not stopped, not taking a break but QUIT! There is a huge difference. If you don't get it then you need to do some more studying of this site and the material that is available on it. If you are planning a day when you might be able to have just one small dip then you are just stopped. If you are just slowing down or taking a break then you are just stopped. The probem with a stop is that eventually you will start again. Quit means never again. You are completely soldout. You are OBSESSED!!
I've had alot of changes in my life the last year and a half. Most of them are good things. I quit nicotine in November of '12. I started exercising regular in January '13. I had weight loss surgery in May '13 that drastically altered my eating habits. As a result of all these things I lost 110 lbs. I've often wondered what the difference is between the last couple of years and the other times that I tried to quit using nicotine, start exercising and lose some weight. I was always successful in the short run. But sooner or later I would fall off the wagon and go back to my old ways. Soon I would be dipping more than ever before and weigh 10 lbs more than ever before. So what is the difference? I'm not sure I have the whole answer here is what I think.
My wife has often told me that i'm obsessive about stuff. I get my mind on something and I can't let it rest. I told her i'm not obsessive, i'm just super focused. But after thinking about it for a while, I think she may be right. I am obsessive. I can't help it. It's part of my addictive personality. it's in my genes. It's who I am. I don't think you can ever be completely successful unless you sellout 100% to something. You have to be laser focused. In other words, you have to be obsessive.
Looking back I can see that now. When I quit nicotine and joined KTC I soldout 100% to the idea of quitting. With that determination and a lot of help from guys at this site I was successful. When I decided to exercise all those other times I wasn't 100% committed. This time I soldout completely. I workout a minimum of 4 days a week and sometimes 6 days a week. I will not miss more than one day at a time of working out. I'm always thinking about the next workout, the next road race or the next triathlon. The difference is i'm committed and I wasn't before.
Before the last year I had lost 65 or more lbs 3 different times in my life. 2 years after loosing the weight I would weigh more than I had ever before. I gained it all back because I wasn't committed. This time I am. The surgery helped but the burden remains on me to be disciplined about what and how much I eat. I've been able to drop 100+ lbs because i'm committed. In the words of my lovely wife, I am OBSESSED.
I don't really want to sing my own praises but I want everyone to understand that to be successful at quitting nicotine we must be completely soldout to the idea of never using nicotine again. We must be laser focused. Some people have said that hate this site because the only time they think about dip is when they are here. I say that is good. Keeps your quit in the forefront of your mind. It helps keep you contanly on guard. The fact that I think about it everyday just makes me that more focused. I'm that much more OBSESSED with my quit.
BE committed quitters!. Get laser focused. BE OBSESSED with your quit!! Never let nicotine have control of your life again. Freedom is so sweet!!!
Mike
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Day 512 and still quit. That's Q U I T, Quit!! Not stopped, not taking a break but QUIT! There is a huge difference. If you don't get it then you need to do some more studying of this site and the material that is available on it. If you are planning a day when you might be able to have just one small dip then you are just stopped. If you are just slowing down or taking a break then you are just stopped. The probem with a stop is that eventually you will start again. Quit means never again. You are completely soldout. You are OBSESSED!!
I've had alot of changes in my life the last year and a half. Most of them are good things. I quit nicotine in November of '12. I started exercising regular in January '13. I had weight loss surgery in May '13 that drastically altered my eating habits. As a result of all these things I lost 110 lbs. I've often wondered what the difference is between the last couple of years and the other times that I tried to quit using nicotine, start exercising and lose some weight. I was always successful in the short run. But sooner or later I would fall off the wagon and go back to my old ways. Soon I would be dipping more than ever before and weigh 10 lbs more than ever before. So what is the difference? I'm not sure I have the whole answer here is what I think.
My wife has often told me that i'm obsessive about stuff. I get my mind on something and I can't let it rest. I told her i'm not obsessive, i'm just super focused. But after thinking about it for a while, I think she may be right. I am obsessive. I can't help it. It's part of my addictive personality. it's in my genes. It's who I am. I don't think you can ever be completely successful unless you sellout 100% to something. You have to be laser focused. In other words, you have to be obsessive.
Looking back I can see that now. When I quit nicotine and joined KTC I soldout 100% to the idea of quitting. With that determination and a lot of help from guys at this site I was successful. When I decided to exercise all those other times I wasn't 100% committed. This time I soldout completely. I workout a minimum of 4 days a week and sometimes 6 days a week. I will not miss more than one day at a time of working out. I'm always thinking about the next workout, the next road race or the next triathlon. The difference is i'm committed and I wasn't before.
Before the last year I had lost 65 or more lbs 3 different times in my life. 2 years after loosing the weight I would weigh more than I had ever before. I gained it all back because I wasn't committed. This time I am. The surgery helped but the burden remains on me to be disciplined about what and how much I eat. I've been able to drop 100+ lbs because i'm committed. In the words of my lovely wife, I am OBSESSED.
I don't really want to sing my own praises but I want everyone to understand that to be successful at quitting nicotine we must be completely soldout to the idea of never using nicotine again. We must be laser focused. Some people have said that hate this site because the only time they think about dip is when they are here. I say that is good. Keeps your quit in the forefront of your mind. It helps keep you contanly on guard. The fact that I think about it everyday just makes me that more focused. I'm that much more OBSESSED with my quit.
BE committed quitters!. Get laser focused. BE OBSESSED with your quit!! Never let nicotine have control of your life again. Freedom is so sweet!!!
Mike
This is a great read, Mike. Congratulations on recommitting your life to positive change. Being obsessive is something a lot of us are. Focusing that trait in the right way can make the impossible possible.
Well done!
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Day 512 and still quit. That's Q U I T, Quit!! Not stopped, not taking a break but QUIT! There is a huge difference. If you don't get it then you need to do some more studying of this site and the material that is available on it. If you are planning a day when you might be able to have just one small dip then you are just stopped. If you are just slowing down or taking a break then you are just stopped. The probem with a stop is that eventually you will start again. Quit means never again. You are completely soldout. You are OBSESSED!!
I've had alot of changes in my life the last year and a half. Most of them are good things. I quit nicotine in November of '12. I started exercising regular in January '13. I had weight loss surgery in May '13 that drastically altered my eating habits. As a result of all these things I lost 110 lbs. I've often wondered what the difference is between the last couple of years and the other times that I tried to quit using nicotine, start exercising and lose some weight. I was always successful in the short run. But sooner or later I would fall off the wagon and go back to my old ways. Soon I would be dipping more than ever before and weigh 10 lbs more than ever before. So what is the difference? I'm not sure I have the whole answer here is what I think.
My wife has often told me that i'm obsessive about stuff. I get my mind on something and I can't let it rest. I told her i'm not obsessive, i'm just super focused. But after thinking about it for a while, I think she may be right. I am obsessive. I can't help it. It's part of my addictive personality. it's in my genes. It's who I am. I don't think you can ever be completely successful unless you sellout 100% to something. You have to be laser focused. In other words, you have to be obsessive.
Looking back I can see that now. When I quit nicotine and joined KTC I soldout 100% to the idea of quitting. With that determination and a lot of help from guys at this site I was successful. When I decided to exercise all those other times I wasn't 100% committed. This time I soldout completely. I workout a minimum of 4 days a week and sometimes 6 days a week. I will not miss more than one day at a time of working out. I'm always thinking about the next workout, the next road race or the next triathlon. The difference is i'm committed and I wasn't before.
Before the last year I had lost 65 or more lbs 3 different times in my life. 2 years after loosing the weight I would weigh more than I had ever before. I gained it all back because I wasn't committed. This time I am. The surgery helped but the burden remains on me to be disciplined about what and how much I eat. I've been able to drop 100+ lbs because i'm committed. In the words of my lovely wife, I am OBSESSED.
I don't really want to sing my own praises but I want everyone to understand that to be successful at quitting nicotine we must be completely soldout to the idea of never using nicotine again. We must be laser focused. Some people have said that hate this site because the only time they think about dip is when they are here. I say that is good. Keeps your quit in the forefront of your mind. It helps keep you contanly on guard. The fact that I think about it everyday just makes me that more focused. I'm that much more OBSESSED with my quit.
BE committed quitters!. Get laser focused. BE OBSESSED with your quit!! Never let nicotine have control of your life again. Freedom is so sweet!!!
Mike
This is a great read, Mike. Congratulations on recommitting your life to positive change. Being obsessive is something a lot of us are. Focusing that trait in the right way can make the impossible possible.
Well done!
Damn Mike! I'm glad I read this. Awesome brother!!! I think I'll go to the gym now 'oh yeah' thanks
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Day 512 and still quit. That's Q U I T, Quit!! Not stopped, not taking a break but QUIT! There is a huge difference. If you don't get it then you need to do some more studying of this site and the material that is available on it. If you are planning a day when you might be able to have just one small dip then you are just stopped. If you are just slowing down or taking a break then you are just stopped. The probem with a stop is that eventually you will start again. Quit means never again. You are completely soldout. You are OBSESSED!!
I've had alot of changes in my life the last year and a half. Most of them are good things. I quit nicotine in November of '12. I started exercising regular in January '13. I had weight loss surgery in May '13 that drastically altered my eating habits. As a result of all these things I lost 110 lbs. I've often wondered what the difference is between the last couple of years and the other times that I tried to quit using nicotine, start exercising and lose some weight. I was always successful in the short run. But sooner or later I would fall off the wagon and go back to my old ways. Soon I would be dipping more than ever before and weigh 10 lbs more than ever before. So what is the difference? I'm not sure I have the whole answer here is what I think.
My wife has often told me that i'm obsessive about stuff. I get my mind on something and I can't let it rest. I told her i'm not obsessive, i'm just super focused. But after thinking about it for a while, I think she may be right. I am obsessive. I can't help it. It's part of my addictive personality. it's in my genes. It's who I am. I don't think you can ever be completely successful unless you sellout 100% to something. You have to be laser focused. In other words, you have to be obsessive.
Looking back I can see that now. When I quit nicotine and joined KTC I soldout 100% to the idea of quitting. With that determination and a lot of help from guys at this site I was successful. When I decided to exercise all those other times I wasn't 100% committed. This time I soldout completely. I workout a minimum of 4 days a week and sometimes 6 days a week. I will not miss more than one day at a time of working out. I'm always thinking about the next workout, the next road race or the next triathlon. The difference is i'm committed and I wasn't before.
Before the last year I had lost 65 or more lbs 3 different times in my life. 2 years after loosing the weight I would weigh more than I had ever before. I gained it all back because I wasn't committed. This time I am. The surgery helped but the burden remains on me to be disciplined about what and how much I eat. I've been able to drop 100+ lbs because i'm committed. In the words of my lovely wife, I am OBSESSED.
I don't really want to sing my own praises but I want everyone to understand that to be successful at quitting nicotine we must be completely soldout to the idea of never using nicotine again. We must be laser focused. Some people have said that hate this site because the only time they think about dip is when they are here. I say that is good. Keeps your quit in the forefront of your mind. It helps keep you contanly on guard. The fact that I think about it everyday just makes me that more focused. I'm that much more OBSESSED with my quit.
BE committed quitters!. Get laser focused. BE OBSESSED with your quit!! Never let nicotine have control of your life again. Freedom is so sweet!!!
Mike
This is a great read, Mike. Congratulations on recommitting your life to positive change. Being obsessive is something a lot of us are. Focusing that trait in the right way can make the impossible possible.
Well done!
Damn Mike! I'm glad I read this. Awesome brother!!! I think I'll go to the gym now 'oh yeah' thanks
well stated my friend. Being Obsessed has many different connotations and you just put it into a great bright light of the good that can come from it. As you have picked out the right things to be obsessed of, so we all need to look at our own lives and do the same.
'clap'
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Day 512 and still quit. That's Q U I T, Quit!! Not stopped, not taking a break but QUIT! There is a huge difference. If you don't get it then you need to do some more studying of this site and the material that is available on it. If you are planning a day when you might be able to have just one small dip then you are just stopped. If you are just slowing down or taking a break then you are just stopped. The probem with a stop is that eventually you will start again. Quit means never again. You are completely soldout. You are OBSESSED!!
I've had alot of changes in my life the last year and a half. Most of them are good things. I quit nicotine in November of '12. I started exercising regular in January '13. I had weight loss surgery in May '13 that drastically altered my eating habits. As a result of all these things I lost 110 lbs. I've often wondered what the difference is between the last couple of years and the other times that I tried to quit using nicotine, start exercising and lose some weight. I was always successful in the short run. But sooner or later I would fall off the wagon and go back to my old ways. Soon I would be dipping more than ever before and weigh 10 lbs more than ever before. So what is the difference? I'm not sure I have the whole answer here is what I think.
My wife has often told me that i'm obsessive about stuff. I get my mind on something and I can't let it rest. I told her i'm not obsessive, i'm just super focused. But after thinking about it for a while, I think she may be right. I am obsessive. I can't help it. It's part of my addictive personality. it's in my genes. It's who I am. I don't think you can ever be completely successful unless you sellout 100% to something. You have to be laser focused. In other words, you have to be obsessive.
Looking back I can see that now. When I quit nicotine and joined KTC I soldout 100% to the idea of quitting. With that determination and a lot of help from guys at this site I was successful. When I decided to exercise all those other times I wasn't 100% committed. This time I soldout completely. I workout a minimum of 4 days a week and sometimes 6 days a week. I will not miss more than one day at a time of working out. I'm always thinking about the next workout, the next road race or the next triathlon. The difference is i'm committed and I wasn't before.
Before the last year I had lost 65 or more lbs 3 different times in my life. 2 years after loosing the weight I would weigh more than I had ever before. I gained it all back because I wasn't committed. This time I am. The surgery helped but the burden remains on me to be disciplined about what and how much I eat. I've been able to drop 100+ lbs because i'm committed. In the words of my lovely wife, I am OBSESSED.
I don't really want to sing my own praises but I want everyone to understand that to be successful at quitting nicotine we must be completely soldout to the idea of never using nicotine again. We must be laser focused. Some people have said that hate this site because the only time they think about dip is when they are here. I say that is good. Keeps your quit in the forefront of your mind. It helps keep you contanly on guard. The fact that I think about it everyday just makes me that more focused. I'm that much more OBSESSED with my quit.
BE committed quitters!. Get laser focused. BE OBSESSED with your quit!! Never let nicotine have control of your life again. Freedom is so sweet!!!
Mike
This is a great read, Mike. Congratulations on recommitting your life to positive change. Being obsessive is something a lot of us are. Focusing that trait in the right way can make the impossible possible.
Well done!
Damn Mike! I'm glad I read this. Awesome brother!!! I think I'll go to the gym now 'oh yeah' thanks
well stated my friend. Being Obsessed has many different connotations and you just put it into a great bright light of the good that can come from it. As you have picked out the right things to be obsessed of, so we all need to look at our own lives and do the same.
'clap'
I know this quitter in person and he is laser focused. Mike your a bad ass
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I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
-
I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
My eyes are kinda tearing up just reading this. Not because I feel bad for Michael... But because of how fortunate he is to have a dad like you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man that you are. The rest will take care of itself. If I can ever help, let me know.
-
I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
My eyes are kinda tearing up just reading this. Not because I feel bad for Michael... But because of how fortunate he is to have a dad like you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man that you are. The rest will take care of itself. If I can ever help, let me know.
Been here 27 days. I don't know you. All that I read was your last 2 posts and here's what I see. You have heart, guts, and wisdom that comes with age. You will slay this. Michael had a house now he has a home.
-
I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
My eyes are kinda tearing up just reading this. Not because I feel bad for Michael... But because of how fortunate he is to have a dad like you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man that you are. The rest will take care of itself. If I can ever help, let me know.
My Man....I can tell just by reading this that you will do just fine, and your son is one lucky SOB to have you. Fuck wife #2. Follow these Rush lyrics when dealing with her, they never steer anyone wrong.
Thank your stars you're not that way
Turn around and walk away.
Dont even pause and ask them why;
Turn around and say goodbye!
As for the dip part. Not one flake of nicotine will make any of this better. In fact, putting that shit will only make this worse. So get that shit out your head.
Quit on...
-
I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
My eyes are kinda tearing up just reading this. Not because I feel bad for Michael... But because of how fortunate he is to have a dad like you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man that you are. The rest will take care of itself. If I can ever help, let me know.
My Man....I can tell just by reading this that you will do just fine, and your son is one lucky SOB to have you. Fuck wife #2. Follow these Rush lyrics when dealing with her, they never steer anyone wrong.
Thank your stars you're not that way
Turn around and walk away.
Dont even pause and ask them why;
Turn around and say goodbye!
As for the dip part. Not one flake of nicotine will make any of this better. In fact, putting that shit will only make this worse. So get that shit out your head.
Quit on...
In this day and age... Men/Fathers are the butt of every joke in movies and on tv. They are portrayed as the bumbling fool, the lazy parent, the ignorant parent, and the lesser parent.
"Thank God for a mom 'cuz without her these poor children wouldn't have any real love or guidance". You feel me? I see it in commercials ~ I see it on soooo much media.
I'm fucking sick of it.
I love being a dad and the raising of my daughter is my highest priority in life. Period.
I just felt that tone in your entry Mike and it makes my day! I have no advice as to your situation... It's so specific and unique that you alone are going to have to feel your way here. But... As long as your heart and head remain in the same place I just saw you write with... Pretty damn sure success will be yours and you can pull your son along for the ride on a healthy healing journey. Good on you man! That's fatherhood right there... Proud to quit with a cat like you!
Shane
-
I mentioned a few weeks ago to some quitter brothers that I was having one of the most stressful times i've had since i quit dipping. I can say that I have had some of the worst craves and serious thoughts about going to the gas station and buying about three cans of dip and eating them all at the same time during this time. I even asked my wife for permission to stop at a store and get some. That should tell you how close i've come to just losing it completely! I have found over the last few months that just being able to come here and write what i'm feeling is very theraputic (SP?) So I'm going to lay some of the heavy burden I've been carry around lately down right here.
I have been married three times. Wife 1 stuck around for about 3 years and then decided we needed to be seperated. Little did I know that she would end up liking the split tails more than me!! We split with no kids so no big deal. Wife 2 was a god damn control freak and couldn't have a relationship with a man if her fucking life depended on it. Wife 3 turned out to be my high school sweet heart and a damn good keeper. Should have married her to begin with instead of being a pussy and letting her mother intimidate me and letting her shoo me off.
My burden concerns wife 2. We had a son together. He is now 17 and will be a senior in high school next year. Like most kids he can be self centered and find it almost impossible to think beyond the next few moments. He's very bright but doesn't always put forth the effort to do the best he can. Again, as a former high school teacher, i'm afraid alot of kids are that way. Like all kids he has made bad decisions. None so serious that he went to jail or anything, just stuff like not always telling the truth, not being where he is supposed to be, not turning his school work in on time. He did try smoking some pot. Luckily he got busted by his mother instead of the cops!
Here has what has had me all tore up. Wife 2 is a man hater. She suffered some abuse at the hands of her own father and because of that she believes that all men are pieces of shit. All men are and all boys will turn out to be just like her father. She has been disappointed in our son from the day she found out that he was a boy. I wish you could have heard the tone in her voice when she told me that we were going to have a boy. It was the sound of deep disappointment. I didn't recognize it as such at the time but came to hear it later after many years of tyring to prove to her that neither I or Michael was her father.
Wife 2 has never been able to have a relationship with a man in any situation. She has failed at every relationship she has had and that includes relationships in love and professional relationships. It really is unbelievable. Because she is so jaded towards men, she has never really had a good relationship with our son. Truth be told she is one of those people that should never have had children. She has never been the nurturing type. Michael got his nurturing from his nanny and my mother. But we all know that is not the same as getting it from your mother. She always expected him to act older than he was. When he was 3 she wanted him to act like he was 7. When he was 10 she wanted him to act like he was 14 or 15. Now that he is 17 she expects him to have the maturity of a 35 year old man.
Michael could never please her. She never tells anyone they have done a good job. She is always critcal of whatever he does. It's never good enough. I tried to tell him for years that that was just how his mother was and he would have to learn to except her as she was. That hard for a kid to do. He just never understood why his mother couldn't be like other moms. For tht matter, I could understand it either.
Wife 2 reached her breaking point and has decided to wash her hands of him. Soon I will become the parent with full custody of him until he graduates next year. She has told him to take all his stuff that he wants to keep and move it to my house. She has told him the rest will be given away or thrown in the trash. She wants no part of anything that goes on at school. In short she wants nothing to do with him. She says she will still come and watch him play ball and watch him take part in other school activities. So really she will just play the "mommie" roll when it suits her or when there are people around who might ask questions.
She has always compared him to her neices. One is at Carnigie Mellon, the other is at Duke. They are very bright and had very successful high school careers. Michael is every bit as bright and capable as they are but hasn't put forth the effort to really achieve the way they have. Part of that is he knows everything he does will never be as good as they are. Who wouldn't get tired of hearing that shit!!
So, tonight she brought him to my house and dumped him and all his clothes on my front porch. I happend to be at work or I might have just choked the bitch right there in the driveway! My current wife said wife 2 told him she loved him. What a fucking crock!! How can you treat your son like a piece of garbage and then turn around and say that?
So now my biggest challenge I've ever had begins. How do I try and piece his heart back together? I can't imagine the pain that comes with knowing that your mother doesn't love you, has totally given up on you, and has basically thrown you out with the trash. Michael puts on a brave face but I know that this is painful for him. So now it's up to me to show him that he is not a piece of trash. That he is a good person and that he can become a successful person and achieve the things he wants to achieve in life. And I have to do all this without being to mushy and cottling. I have to do it while still being the parent and being firm enough to still give him boundries and enforce those rules and boundries.
Shit!!! this is going to be tough!!!
Thanks for listening
Mike
My eyes are kinda tearing up just reading this. Not because I feel bad for Michael... But because of how fortunate he is to have a dad like you.
Keep doing what you are doing. Be the man that you are. The rest will take care of itself. If I can ever help, let me know.
My Man....I can tell just by reading this that you will do just fine, and your son is one lucky SOB to have you. Fuck wife #2. Follow these Rush lyrics when dealing with her, they never steer anyone wrong.
Thank your stars you're not that way
Turn around and walk away.
Dont even pause and ask them why;
Turn around and say goodbye!
As for the dip part. Not one flake of nicotine will make any of this better. In fact, putting that shit will only make this worse. So get that shit out your head.
Quit on...
In this day and age... Men/Fathers are the butt of every joke in movies and on tv. They are portrayed as the bumbling fool, the lazy parent, the ignorant parent, and the lesser parent.
"Thank God for a mom 'cuz without her these poor children wouldn't have any real love or guidance". You feel me? I see it in commercials ~ I see it on soooo much media.
I'm fucking sick of it.
I love being a dad and the raising of my daughter is my highest priority in life. Period.
I just felt that tone in your entry Mike and it makes my day! I have no advice as to your situation... It's so specific and unique that you alone are going to have to feel your way here. But... As long as your heart and head remain in the same place I just saw you write with... Pretty damn sure success will be yours and you can pull your son along for the ride on a healthy healing journey. Good on you man! That's fatherhood right there... Proud to quit with a cat like you!
Shane
Mike, I have been thru this twice. I lived with my mother until 13 and she didn't speak to me after the blow up for nearly a decade. Then my step mom who adopted me will not talk to me now as of a year ago after her and my dad split. I will not lie it has hurt like hell. But my father has been a pillar, a lighthouse, a freaking rock. Your son is lucky to have you. Continue to reinforce that it's not his fault that his mom is treating him this way without saying bad things about her as much as possible, hard I know. And as Apple said feel your way thru, your a great person and you will handle this well. You need me you text me.
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Ever find yourself running around the house like a chicken with its head cutoff for no particular reason. I had a good weekend with my son. We drove to Gainesville Ga from Chattanooga to watch him play football for the Military school he attends there. They lost 13-10 but he played well. Saturday we went to Knoxville to watch the Vols play UT-Chattanooga. Not a great match up but it was fun and we had a blast tailgating with some friends of ours. I also had a chance to walk him around campus and show him some of the buildings I had classes in when I was a student there. We even dropped by my old Frat House and ran into a couple of guys I went to school with. It was a lot of fun. Sunday we got up early and went to meet his Navy recruiter to drop off some ROTC scholarship application stuff and have a good greasy breakfast together at Waffle House. So what is the damn problem? you ask. I don't fucking know.
I get moody as any woman when my son goes back to school after being home for the weekend. I miss having him here and being able to see and talk to him whenever I want. My mom volunteered to drive him back to school for us. She is having her own stuggles with looking after my dad who is aging and experiencing all the things that come with that. She needed a break from all that so she volunteered to take him back for us. As soon as they left I could feel the mood come over me. I couldn't get settled. I paced alot and sighed alot. I would say that during in this time I was as weak as I've ever been since I posted my day 1.
If you can remember what it felt like to pace through the house looking for a can of dip and being unable to find one and getting that awful, restless, antsy feeling because you couldn't get your fix, then you know what I mean. It was awful. I just kept trying to tell myself that this would pass. It did.
I've written all this because it helps me to write stuff down. I will be fine. It just helps me and fortifies my quit when I write stuff here. Too, I hope that others who read it might gain some strength from reading the struggles that I go through. My buddy Scowick65 uses this quote, "A Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems". For whatever reason that has always stuck with me. I recall it when i'm having a tough time. I thought about that alot last night. No amount of dip would have made me feel any better about Michael going back to school. I'm pretty sure I would have felt 10 times worse because I would have let everyone here at KTC down. I especially would have let the new guys down and that would have been terrible.
Be on guard my friends. The nic bitch will always come to us at a time when we are the weakest and are the most vulnerable. Keep your digits close at hand and know that your brothers and sisters are only a phone call away. Even after 689 days of quit, I still have my moments of weakness when she comes to me and persuades me to come back to her. I'm glad I have you guys to sound off on.
Quit on friends, thanks for listening (or reading or whatever)
Mike
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Ever find yourself running around the house like a chicken with its head cutoff for no particular reason. I had a good weekend with my son. We drove to Gainesville Ga from Chattanooga to watch him play football for the Military school he attends there. They lost 13-10 but he played well. Saturday we went to Knoxville to watch the Vols play UT-Chattanooga. Not a great match up but it was fun and we had a blast tailgating with some friends of ours. I also had a chance to walk him around campus and show him some of the buildings I had classes in when I was a student there. We even dropped by my old Frat House and ran into a couple of guys I went to school with. It was a lot of fun. Sunday we got up early and went to meet his Navy recruiter to drop off some ROTC scholarship application stuff and have a good greasy breakfast together at Waffle House. So what is the damn problem? you ask. I don't fucking know.
I get moody as any woman when my son goes back to school after being home for the weekend. I miss having him here and being able to see and talk to him whenever I want. My mom volunteered to drive him back to school for us. She is having her own stuggles with looking after my dad who is aging and experiencing all the things that come with that. She needed a break from all that so she volunteered to take him back for us. As soon as they left I could feel the mood come over me. I couldn't get settled. I paced alot and sighed alot. I would say that during in this time I was as weak as I've ever been since I posted my day 1.
If you can remember what it felt like to pace through the house looking for a can of dip and being unable to find one and getting that awful, restless, antsy feeling because you couldn't get your fix, then you know what I mean. It was awful. I just kept trying to tell myself that this would pass. It did.
I've written all this because it helps me to write stuff down. I will be fine. It just helps me and fortifies my quit when I write stuff here. Too, I hope that others who read it might gain some strength from reading the struggles that I go through. My buddy Scowick65 uses this quote, "A Problem + Nicotine = 2 Problems". For whatever reason that has always stuck with me. I recall it when i'm having a tough time. I thought about that alot last night. No amount of dip would have made me feel any better about Michael going back to school. I'm pretty sure I would have felt 10 times worse because I would have let everyone here at KTC down. I especially would have let the new guys down and that would have been terrible.
Be on guard my friends. The nic bitch will always come to us at a time when we are the weakest and are the most vulnerable. Keep your digits close at hand and know that your brothers and sisters are only a phone call away. Even after 689 days of quit, I still have my moments of weakness when she comes to me and persuades me to come back to her. I'm glad I have you guys to sound off on.
Quit on friends, thanks for listening (or reading or whatever)
Mike
The very fact that you are able to articulate and share your experiences/thoughts and feeling is a real sign to me that you are healing from the grips of nicotine nicely. No more masking, no more hiding, no more being a recluse with your secret lover....you are experiencing and dealing with reality.
I think your post shows your heart towards your family...all of them, the special place your son has in your heart, the desire and hope for him to do well and experience some of the great times you had at college, your concern and love for your parents. It's all good Mike..it's hard stuff, but it's the good stuff. I'm glad you chose to experience it all today instead of masking it and numbing it.
Proud to be quit with you today
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Been a while since I've posted here. Thought I would drop by and give everyone an update and give some thoughts.
My son, Michael, is at the Military School in Gainesville, Ga. I had a rough time with sending him there for his senior year. It has been tough not getting to see him very much. But he is doing well. He has risen from a ROC private to a First Sargent in the few months he has been there. His grades are great and he is being courted by The Citadel. In fact, we will be going there next month to participate in a Scholars competition to compete for a full ride scholarship. The fact that he got invited to participate is an accomplishment in itself. If he wins one of the scholarships it will only be sweeter. The military school has turned out to be the very best thing for him. Wish him luck as he ponders what to do after graduation and sets goals for success in his chosen career.
Changing gears......
I liked the "Quit Smokeless Support Network" on facebook. There are a few people who post everyday and seem to be doing well. A few post for several days, maybe even over 100 or 200 days, but eventually the too disappear and you don't see them any more. Not all are like that. I think some of the people on there are some hardcore, badass quitters. The problem I see is that they just don't have the accountability and support that we have here on KTC. Don't get me wrong. We do whatever it takes to quit. If a particular site helps you then by all means stick with it. But......
The big But here is the accountability and the tolerance that I see for repeated caving and the pandering. While I will be the first to admit that some of the shit that is said when someone caves here at KTC is a little over the top, it does serve its purpose. People need to be held accountable. Some people need their feet held to the fire more than others. This site doesn't seem to do that. What I see is alot of handholding and "oh, that's ok, you'll do it next time....blah blah blah..." Sort of makes me want to laugh. At the same time I want to rage and get in there face and ask them what the hell is wrong with them. This is the approach that leads to repeated attempts at quitting. Seems to me there is way to much tolerances for excuses on this site. I'm not interested in excuses. I'm interested in people who have the guts to stick with a promise and keep their word to their brothers and sisters. If you have seen this site you know what i'm talking about. They work alot like we do. They supposedly post everyday and make their promise to not use tobacco that day. I can't tell you how many times i've seen a guy post for a few days and then come back and say he was quitting again and post a day 1. Take a look at the comments and you will see way to much tolerance. Guys saying everything will be ok and we'll get it this time. I'm just not convinced that this pandering and tolerance for excuses is the best way to quit. I know it wouldn't have worked for me. I needed a place that didn't give me any wiggle room. I had to know that if I fucked up that there was going to be hell to pay. When I first started KTC I was afraid of failing and getting raged at by the other people here. That fear of getting chewed out later turned into a fear that I would let my brothers and sisters down if I failed to remain quit. After traveling for 3 quitter meets, one in PA and two in Savannah, that fear of letting people down has grown 100 fold. This is how we grow.
Don't get your feelings hurt if you are on that site as well. Like I said before, we do what we have to to remain quit. I just don't like the way they handle failure. Just a helping hand doesn't always get the job done. Sometimes a swift kick in the ass is needed first, then the helping hand can be offered.
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894 days quit and still the nic bitch lingers, waiting to pounce when I am weak. I've been cruising along lately. No craves, dip dreams or otherwise bad moments. But over the last couple of weeks it has been bad. I got to reading some post and it seems I may not be the only one. Apparently around the comma mark is a bad time for a funk. I know there have been times the past couple of weeks that felt like my first week quit. I had craves and dreams and one bad episode this past weekend at a wedding. Twice this week I've had the sort of dip dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat and short of breath wondering if you have really caved. I had a bad moment this weekend that is a little funny now but sure wasn't very funny when it was happening.
My daughters were in the wedding of the oldest daughters best friend. It was a good time. Lots of good food, good friends and an open bar. I took full advantage of the open bar. Having to make a trip to the restroom I discovered a big fat cat turd in the urinal. No! I didn't dig it out but it did mess with my head. I was a RedSeal wintergreen user and that turd smelled like it hadn't been out of the can very long. The wintergreen smell was powerful and messed with my head something fierce. For a while there I really thought about just chucking it all and going and finding me some dip.
But I didn't. I did what I've learned to do in moments like that. I reached out. Bigwhitebeast came through. So did my March Brother Halldogau and some others. The crisis was soon over and back to the party I went. Don't ever be afraid to reach out. it doesn't mean you are weak. This is how we survive. Whether you have been quit 1 week or 1000 weeks, the old hag will always be waiting around the corner. Keep your numbers handy. You never know when you might need them.
Thanks for being there guys.
Mike
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894 days quit and still the nic bitch lingers, waiting to pounce when I am weak. I've been cruising along lately. No craves, dip dreams or otherwise bad moments. But over the last couple of weeks it has been bad. I got to reading some post and it seems I may not be the only one. Apparently around the comma mark is a bad time for a funk. I know there have been times the past couple of weeks that felt like my first week quit. I had craves and dreams and one bad episode this past weekend at a wedding. Twice this week I've had the sort of dip dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat and short of breath wondering if you have really caved. I had a bad moment this weekend that is a little funny now but sure wasn't very funny when it was happening.
My daughters were in the wedding of the oldest daughters best friend. It was a good time. Lots of good food, good friends and an open bar. I took full advantage of the open bar. Having to make a trip to the restroom I discovered a big fat cat turd in the urinal. No! I didn't dig it out but it did mess with my head. I was a RedSeal wintergreen user and that turd smelled like it hadn't been out of the can very long. The wintergreen smell was powerful and messed with my head something fierce. For a while there I really thought about just chucking it all and going and finding me some dip.
But I didn't. I did what I've learned to do in moments like that. I reached out. Bigwhitebeast came through. So did my March Brother Halldogau and some others. The crisis was soon over and back to the party I went. Don't ever be afraid to reach out. it doesn't mean you are weak. This is how we survive. Whether you have been quit 1 week or 1000 weeks, the old hag will always be waiting around the corner. Keep your numbers handy. You never know when you might need them.
Thanks for being there guys.
Mike
This post is a gem. Almost 900 days and the battle still continues; the tools that saved you (saved us) in the first 100 days are just as important 2 years later. Thanks Mike, this is a stone I'm adding to my quit foundation.
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894 days quit and still the nic bitch lingers, waiting to pounce when I am weak. I've been cruising along lately. No craves, dip dreams or otherwise bad moments. But over the last couple of weeks it has been bad. I got to reading some post and it seems I may not be the only one. Apparently around the comma mark is a bad time for a funk. I know there have been times the past couple of weeks that felt like my first week quit. I had craves and dreams and one bad episode this past weekend at a wedding. Twice this week I've had the sort of dip dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat and short of breath wondering if you have really caved. I had a bad moment this weekend that is a little funny now but sure wasn't very funny when it was happening.
My daughters were in the wedding of the oldest daughters best friend. It was a good time. Lots of good food, good friends and an open bar. I took full advantage of the open bar. Having to make a trip to the restroom I discovered a big fat cat turd in the urinal. No! I didn't dig it out but it did mess with my head. I was a RedSeal wintergreen user and that turd smelled like it hadn't been out of the can very long. The wintergreen smell was powerful and messed with my head something fierce. For a while there I really thought about just chucking it all and going and finding me some dip.
But I didn't. I did what I've learned to do in moments like that. I reached out. Bigwhitebeast came through. So did my March Brother Halldogau and some others. The crisis was soon over and back to the party I went. Don't ever be afraid to reach out. it doesn't mean you are weak. This is how we survive. Whether you have been quit 1 week or 1000 weeks, the old hag will always be waiting around the corner. Keep your numbers handy. You never know when you might need them.
Thanks for being there guys.
Mike
This post is a gem. Almost 900 days and the battle still continues; the tools that saved you (saved us) in the first 100 days are just as important 2 years later. Thanks Mike, this is a stone I'm adding to my quit foundation.
Nice, major catastrophe averted!
KILLING IT!
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894 days quit and still the nic bitch lingers, waiting to pounce when I am weak. I've been cruising along lately. No craves, dip dreams or otherwise bad moments. But over the last couple of weeks it has been bad. I got to reading some post and it seems I may not be the only one. Apparently around the comma mark is a bad time for a funk. I know there have been times the past couple of weeks that felt like my first week quit. I had craves and dreams and one bad episode this past weekend at a wedding. Twice this week I've had the sort of dip dream that wakes you up in a cold sweat and short of breath wondering if you have really caved. I had a bad moment this weekend that is a little funny now but sure wasn't very funny when it was happening.
My daughters were in the wedding of the oldest daughters best friend. It was a good time. Lots of good food, good friends and an open bar. I took full advantage of the open bar. Having to make a trip to the restroom I discovered a big fat cat turd in the urinal. No! I didn't dig it out but it did mess with my head. I was a RedSeal wintergreen user and that turd smelled like it hadn't been out of the can very long. The wintergreen smell was powerful and messed with my head something fierce. For a while there I really thought about just chucking it all and going and finding me some dip.
But I didn't. I did what I've learned to do in moments like that. I reached out. Bigwhitebeast came through. So did my March Brother Halldogau and some others. The crisis was soon over and back to the party I went. Don't ever be afraid to reach out. it doesn't mean you are weak. This is how we survive. Whether you have been quit 1 week or 1000 weeks, the old hag will always be waiting around the corner. Keep your numbers handy. You never know when you might need them.
Thanks for being there guys.
Mike
This post is a gem. Almost 900 days and the battle still continues; the tools that saved you (saved us) in the first 100 days are just as important 2 years later. Thanks Mike, this is a stone I'm adding to my quit foundation.
Nice, major catastrophe averted!
KILLING IT!
'worship'
This post is WOW worthy... well done sir!
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Reflections on 1100 days quit, accountability and relationships.
Today makes 1100 days quit for me. I'm still amazed that I've made it this far. 3 years ago Mike Land was defined by the can. My wife and I dated some when we were in high school. She tells me she thought about me a lot even when she was married to someone else for 21 years. Sweet huh? She also tells me that the smell of wintergreen would triggered thoughts about me. Isn't that something? The thing my wife remembers about me when we were in high school over 30 years ago is that I always smelled like a wintergreen turd! She doesn't recall if I was smart, or kind to others or a smartass or whatever. She just remembers that me, my car, my clothes smelled like a can of skoal. That's sort of depressing. I'm not surprised by any of this. I dipped fine cut wintergreen skoal 24/7 for many years until it got to be almost $5 a can. I then switched to RedSeal finecut wintergreen and because it cost half as much, I rationalized that I could afford more of it! Two cans per day, sometimes three. No wonder everything I had smelled like wintergreen.
I used to teach school. If you met me you probably wouldn't believe it. Most people don't. Occasionally i'll run into kids I had as students and they will tell me what a mess their life is for one reason or another. I council them that we all make mistakes and that we have to move on from the past and resolve to make things better going forward from this day. 1100 days ago I had that realization about being an addict. I can't tell you how many times I had tried to quit and gave up because I had convinced myself that I had used for so long that there was no way I could function without it. 1100 hundred days ago I found KTC. I read everything I could find on the site, found the '13 March Mad Men group and posted roll for the first time. there was no way to tell how that moment was going to change my life.
I won't go on about my quit. Everyone has their story about how the first few days went. How awful the fog was and their joy at coming out of it and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. What I will tell you about is the accountability I found here and the relationships that have been built because we share the bond of being addicts. There is no way that I would be here today without having been held accountable by the guys in my group and other groups over the last few years.
The March Mad Men of 2013 started out with over 100 guys who wanted to quit. Today we have 8 who post roll mostly on a daily basis. I think we still have one 100% poster after 3 years. Halldogau, Tazbutane, 88Shelby, Grovermouldon, Steve Mc, Hunter401, Fire10257 and myself are still here. I am continually amazed at the relationship we have with each other. I've never met any of these guys in person. I've talked to a couple on the phone once or twice. We keep an eye out for one another. If one of us missed roll more than usual the questions and text start flying. We worry about each other. It's hard for me to understand how we have the concern, and dare I say love, for one another. We are just 8 random guys who take a moment to post roll everyday on a website. We are nothing special. But we do share a bond that only those who have travelled this road can comprehend. I don't know about them but I know without a doubt that if one of these guys called me and said "Mike, I need you to come help me" I would drop what I was doing, if at all possible and go to their aide. That is the God's honest truth. We are spread all over. Texas, Oregon, NYC, Conn. Georgia, Ohio, Tennessee, and one in Wisconsin or Minnesota. It doesn't matter, If they needed me I would go if it were in my means to do so. That is the beauty of KTC. The accountability leads to relationships that are strong. It is this accountability and relationships that make it possible for me to stay quit. I'm not as strung out as I was when I first started. I don't lean on these guys all the time like I did in the beginning. But the fact that they are still here with me, posting roll and holding me accountable when needed goes along way in strengthening my quit.
The March Mad Men are talking about a get together. Maybe in NYC. Right now it's just talk but maybe soon we can start making concrete plans. It would be a blast to meet my March Mad Men brothers in person. I've been to three quitter meets. Two were in Savannah, one was in PA. It is awesome to be able to put real people with KTC names and be able to talk to them in person. To be able to do that with the March Mad Men would be the highlight of my KTC experience so far!
One thing. If you are reading this and you are a young quitter, don't be overwhelmed by some of the number of quit days beside some of our names. We didn't get here all at once. We got here as some of the guys say "ODAAT" that is "ONE DAY AT A TIME". Don't concentrate on tomorrow, next week, month or year. Concentrate on today, just today. Keep doing that and before you know it you will be putting four digit numbers of quit days beside your name as well.
Carry on
Mike Land
Quit Like Mad!!
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Reflections on 1100 days quit, accountability and relationships.
Today makes 1100 days quit for me. I'm still amazed that I've made it this far. 3 years ago Mike Land was defined by the can. My wife and I dated some when we were in high school. She tells me she thought about me a lot even when she was married to someone else for 21 years. Sweet huh? She also tells me that the smell of wintergreen would triggered thoughts about me. Isn't that something? The thing my wife remembers about me when we were in high school over 30 years ago is that I always smelled like a wintergreen turd! She doesn't recall if I was smart, or kind to others or a smartass or whatever. She just remembers that me, my car, my clothes smelled like a can of skoal. That's sort of depressing. I'm not surprised by any of this. I dipped fine cut wintergreen skoal 24/7 for many years until it got to be almost $5 a can. I then switched to RedSeal finecut wintergreen and because it cost half as much, I rationalized that I could afford more of it! Two cans per day, sometimes three. No wonder everything I had smelled like wintergreen.
I used to teach school. If you met me you probably wouldn't believe it. Most people don't. Occasionally i'll run into kids I had as students and they will tell me what a mess their life is for one reason or another. I council them that we all make mistakes and that we have to move on from the past and resolve to make things better going forward from this day. 1100 days I had that realization about being an addict. I can't tell you how many times I had tried to quit and gave up because I had convinced myself that I had used for so long that there was no way I could function without it. 1100 hundred days ago I found KTC. I read everything I could find on the site, found the '13 March Mad Men group and posted roll for the first time. there was no way to tell how that moment was going to change my life.
I won't go on about my quit. Everyone has their story about how the first few days went. How awful the fog was and their joy at coming out of it and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. What I will tell you about is the accountability I found here and the relationships that have been built because we share the bond of being addicts. There is no way that I would be here today without having been held accountable by the guys in my group and other groups over the last few years.
The March Mad Men of 2013 started out with over 100 guys who wanted to quit. Today we have 8 who post roll mostly on a daily basis. I think we still have one 100% poster after 3 years. Halldogau, Tazbutane, 88Shelby, Grovermouldon, Steve Mc, Hunter401, Fire10257 and myself are still here. I am continually amazed at the relationship we have with each other. I've never met any of these guys in person. I've talked to a couple on the phone once or twice. We keep an eye out for one another. If one of us missed roll more than usual the questions and text start flying. We worry about each other. It's hard for me to understand how we have the concern, and dare I say love, for one another. We are just 8 random guys who take a moment to post roll everyday on a website. We are nothing special. But we do share a bond that only those who have travelled this road can comprehend. I don't know about them but I know without a doubt that if one of these guys called me and said "Mike, I need you to come help me" I would drop what I was doing, if at all possible and go to their aide. That is the God's honest truth. We are spread all over. Texas, Oregon, NYC, Conn. Georgia, Ohio, Tennessee, and one in Wisconsin or Minnesota. It doesn't matter, If they needed me I would go if it were in my means to do so. That is the beauty of KTC. The accountability leads to relationships that are strong. It is this accountability and relationships that make it possible for me to stay quit. I'm not as strung out as I was when I first started. I don't lean on these guys all the time like I did in the beginning. But the fact that they are still here with me, posting roll and holding me accountable when needed goes along way in strengthening my quit.
The March Mad Men are talking about a get together. Maybe in NYC. Right now it's just talk but maybe soon we can start making concrete plans. It would be a blast to meet my March Mad Men brothers in person. I've been to three quitter meets. Two were in Savannah, one was in PA. It is awesome to be able to put real people with KTC names and be able to talk to them in person. To be able to do that with the March Mad Men would be the highlight of my KTC experience so far!
One thing. If you are reading this and you are a young quitter, don't be overwhelmed by some of the number of quit days beside some of our names. We didn't get here all at once. We got here as some of the guys say "ODAAT" that is "ONE DAY AT A TIME". Don't concentrate on tomorrow, next week, month or year. Concentrate on today, just today. Keep doing that and before you know it you will be putting four digit numbers of quit days beside your name as well.
Carry on
Mike Land
Quit Like Mad!!
Mike, this is one of the best things I've ever read on here. Thanks for posting.
April 13 is planning a Vegas meet March 1-5 this year. I think at least 6 of us + Stranger999 will be there. We would love to have you and March along for the ride!
I read these new quitters posts and thank God every day that I found this place. Until the quitters get to a long ways in, it is hard to believe that it can be this good.
It can. It is. Congratulations on 1,100 days!
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So just on a whim I checked all the groups from 2013 to see how we are doing about 2.5 to 3 years into our quit. The numbers are sort of depressing. Here is what I found. Yes I know it is a Sunday and a weekend and the numbers tend to be low. That fact in itself concerns me too.
For the 2013 quit groups here are the number of postings for 12/13/15.
Jan 11 July 9
Feb 3 Aug 1
Mar 8 Sept 7
Apr 7 Oct 3
May 2 Nov 3
June 1 Dec 11
So out of all the quitters who signed up on KTC and wanted to quit, probably close to or over 1000 people, 66 are here today still making their promise to not use nicotine. by these numbers 6.6% of the people who started are still here. Not a very good number. I would like to see that number much higher. I would venture to say that the majority of the ones who are not here today are using again. Sad.
I passed 3 years a few days ago. I'm not a 100% poster. I think only one of the 8 '13 March Mad Men can still claim that title. I am here most every day. I feel like I've let myself down and my quit group down when I do miss. Posting roll has become a part of what I do. I really don't think about it any more. I just do it. Like getting up, fixing my coffee, taking my shower and shaving. I just do them everyday without thinking. It's become a habit. If you are new here, I hope the same thing happens to you.
I know that without coming here to post, If I had stopped after hitting the HOFor in 1 or 2 years, I would be an active user today. I would be right back where I was on November 23 2012 using 2 to 3 cans per day. The act of posting roll plays a huge part in keeping my quit strong. If I do miss posting I don't feel right. It's like missing a workout. You just feel a little off the rest of the day.
I know that there are folks who can leave KTC after being quit awhile and probably stay quit forever. I dare say that is not very many people. I know some of them. I would not recommend going out on your own. I've been quit 3 years and a few days. I still have craves that are very strong. It doesn't happen very often now but when it does my promise that I made when I posted roll is the first thing that comes to mind. I can't let my group down. I can't let my other KTC friends down, and I can't let myself down. My posting roll is huge,huge factor in determining how strong my quit will be that day. I wrote a piece once about a friend getting burned out on posting and constantly thinking about tobacco and quitting and just getting burned out on the whole thing. I understood how he felt. I also told him it would be ok if he missed a day now and then. It wouldn't be the end of the world. I then proceeded to post it in every group for 2013. Boy did I get an ass chewing from some people for that one!! I was a "young" quitter then and stupid!! I would never recommend that anyone skip a day posting. I would never recommend that anyone go out on their own after any amount of time. The support that we get here and the relationships we build are to important to just walk off and leave them.
To all you beginners out there, Make posting roll part of what you do everyday. Make it something you do without thinking everyday. To all you veterans out there who might have slipped away. Get back into the routine. Come back to KTC and post your promise to your brothers and sisters. Your resolve to stay quit will be renewed and made much stonger by do so.
Thanks again for listening to the ramblings of an addict who just happens to be a 3 year + 15 day quitter!
Mike
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Really!!?? WTF??
I'm headed home from the Nuke Plant yesterday afternoon and hear a commercial over the radio for a particular Chattanooga vapor shop. The shop is pushing the idea that nicotine vapors is a great way to stop smoking.....and dipping and chewing I suppose. They say that the nicotine vapors are a safe alternative to tobacco. What a crock!! The truth is that we don't know the long term effects of using nicotine vapors. I'll bet a paycheck that in 20-30 years we will have data that shows that the health effects of nicotine vapors are no better than cigarettes or snuff. Even if it doesn't contain all the chemicals and cancer causing substances of cigarettes and dip, it still contains nicotine and the nicotine will control your life. You know, that substance that keeps you addicted to dipping, chewing, or smoking in the first place? That substance that controls your life and makes you take time away from your family and friends. The thing that makes you lie to your wife and family.
Don't fall for the bullshit hype from these vapor stores. They are no different than the big tobacco companies. They will lie and tell you anything to get you to buy their product. If they can keep you addicted to the nicotine then their profits will keep rolling in. They could careless about your health or whether the things they say are true or not. All they want is your money!!
Too, Nicotine is nicotine. The delivery method doesn't matter. KTC is a no nicotine site. When you post your name to that roll you are making a promise to me and all the other quitters that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Remember to keep your word. Stay Quit!!
Rant over
Mike
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Really!!?? WTF??
I'm headed home from the Nuke Plant yesterday afternoon and hear a commercial over the radio for a particular Chattanooga vapor shop. The shop is pushing the idea that nicotine vapors is a great way to stop smoking.....and dipping and chewing I suppose. They say that the nicotine vapors are a safe alternative to tobacco. What a crock!! The truth is that we don't know the long term effects of using nicotine vapors. I'll bet a paycheck that in 20-30 years we will have data that shows that the health effects of nicotine vapors are no better than cigarettes or snuff. Even if it doesn't contain all the chemicals and cancer causing substances of cigarettes and dip, it still contains nicotine and the nicotine will control your life. You know, that substance that keeps you addicted to dipping, chewing, or smoking in the first place? That substance that controls your life and makes you take time away from your family and friends. The thing that makes you lie to your wife and family.
Don't fall for the bullshit hype from these vapor stores. They are no different than the big tobacco companies. They will lie and tell you anything to get you to buy their product. If they can keep you addicted to the nicotine then their profits will keep rolling in. They could careless about your health or whether the things they say are true or not. All they want is your money!!
Too, Nicotine is nicotine. The delivery method doesn't matter. KTC is a no nicotine site. When you post your name to that roll you are making a promise to me and all the other quitters that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Remember to keep your word. Stay Quit!!
Rant over
Mike
I too saw a similar article, however, the one I read was in a clinical journal. And similar to your reaction, I balked at the article and felt compelled to challenge its misguided notions. The problem is, the article was right. And so was the radio commercial you listened to. Vaping IS a great way to stop smoking. Yes, I just said that...and that is exactly what the marketing gimmick is. Instead of smoking, you can vape...no where in any of this does it consider nicotine, or the addictive component of nicotine use. It's simply offering an alternative to the act of smoking. The problem with smoking and smoking cessation programs is that they only communicate the ill affects of cigarette smoke; rarely do they mention the ill affects of nicotine addiction.
...and with that said, I second everything that Mike just stated and felt when he wrote his rant. Thanks for posting that.
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Really!!?? WTF??
I'm headed home from the Nuke Plant yesterday afternoon and hear a commercial over the radio for a particular Chattanooga vapor shop. The shop is pushing the idea that nicotine vapors is a great way to stop smoking.....and dipping and chewing I suppose. They say that the nicotine vapors are a safe alternative to tobacco. What a crock!! The truth is that we don't know the long term effects of using nicotine vapors. I'll bet a paycheck that in 20-30 years we will have data that shows that the health effects of nicotine vapors are no better than cigarettes or snuff. Even if it doesn't contain all the chemicals and cancer causing substances of cigarettes and dip, it still contains nicotine and the nicotine will control your life. You know, that substance that keeps you addicted to dipping, chewing, or smoking in the first place? That substance that controls your life and makes you take time away from your family and friends. The thing that makes you lie to your wife and family.
Don't fall for the bullshit hype from these vapor stores. They are no different than the big tobacco companies. They will lie and tell you anything to get you to buy their product. If they can keep you addicted to the nicotine then their profits will keep rolling in. They could careless about your health or whether the things they say are true or not. All they want is your money!!
Too, Nicotine is nicotine. The delivery method doesn't matter. KTC is a no nicotine site. When you post your name to that roll you are making a promise to me and all the other quitters that you will not use nicotine in any form for that day. Remember to keep your word. Stay Quit!!
Rant over
Mike
I too saw a similar article, however, the one I read was in a clinical journal. And similar to your reaction, I balked at the article and felt compelled to challenge its misguided notions. The problem is, the article was right. And so was the radio commercial you listened to. Vaping IS a great way to stop smoking. Yes, I just said that...and that is exactly what the marketing gimmick is. Instead of smoking, you can vape...no where in any of this does it consider nicotine, or the addictive component of nicotine use. It's simply offering an alternative to the act of smoking. The problem with smoking and smoking cessation programs is that they only communicate the ill affects of cigarette smoke; rarely do they mention the ill affects of nicotine addiction.
...and with that said, I second everything that Mike just stated and felt when he wrote his rant. Thanks for posting that.
I quit with these ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ BA's as long as they will allow me.
Rattlesnakes are fast... Try kissing a Cobra, I hear, they are slower!
Thanks for the truth men. It hopefully will set someone free.
Rawls 408
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Today I have received reaffirmation of what it means to be a part of this brotherhood (sisterhood). Let me tell you a funny story....
I left my computer open at work. You can already tell where this is going can't you? I work with a great bunch of guys. We are all operators at a nuclear plant, highly skilled and trained in our field. There isn't a person in this group that could remotely be considered as dumb. However, that doesn't stop them from acting like a bunch of 8 year olds given the opportunity. All of these guys know about KTC and my involvment. So, when they found my computer open they thought it would be great fun to pull a prank on me. One of them proceeded to update my facebook status with a post that said I couldn't help myself and had taken a dip. My facebook page exploded with comments!! I had comments from all over the country asking me what the heck was going on. One from NYC. Another from Colorado, Boston, Dallas, Augusta. Name a region and I had somebody asking me WTF? HAHAHA!!! Everyone here had a great big laugh at my expense and I set the KTC friends at ease by editing the post and explaining what just happened. All is well with my quit. 1267 days as of today. I'm not ever starting again!!
This little story is a great example of why I love KTC, the site, the March '13 Mad Men and all the friends i've made at KTC. These people were worried about me. They were worried and holding me accountable. A couple of commenters wanted explanations. I don't think the guys I work with would have had this type of reaction. This right here folks is what this place is all about. Building relationships and accountability through the one common bond that we all have. Thank you for caring enough to worry. Thank you for caring enough to ask questions and want an explanation. You guys have my back. That fact has been reaffirmed today. My quit has become a few degrees stronger today.
Your brother in Quit,
Mike