KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: sekfireman603 on August 23, 2008, 02:14:00 AM
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
Hey Jesse' Don't worry about the 100 + numbers, It takes one day at a time and soon those numbers add up. I chewed almost as long as your living so if i can do it, you can too. Nip it in the bud now.
Oh yeah Fuck the nic bitch 'Finger'
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
you are off to one helluva quit.....
Read and learn everything you can about your addiction...tons of info here...and more importantly, tons of experience.
Post Roll first thing in the morning....takes dip completely off the table for the day because you gave a brother your word.
Get involved.....everywhere and anywhere you want....your group, chat, hell even 3 word post....doesn't matter....just get involved.
You need help....ask. This site is about support.
someone asks for help....do it....leave no one behind.
Get thru today...most of the nic is outta your system....physically. After today, it is a mind thang...and if you don't mind, it ain't a thang.
sing out if i can help you......you got this
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FYI,
fire¡Pman [ fÇ|rmən ] (plural fire¡Pmen [ fÇ|rmən ])
noun
Definition:
1. U.S. navy ship's engineer: an enlisted man in the U.S. Navy who operates and services engines and similar machinery
2. U.S. baseball reliever: in baseball, a relief pitcher ( slang )
3. rail boating stoker: a man who stokes a furnace, especially on a steam locomotive or steamboat
fire¡Pfight¡Per [ fÇ|r fȼtər ] (plural fire¡Pfight¡Pers)
noun
Definition:
somebody who puts out fires: somebody who attempts to control or extinguish fires, and to rescue people or animals from danger
:P
All kidding aside, welcome to the site. You are not "only" on day 3, you have given your word now at least a couple of times and kept it. That is how you will post the 100+ days. Posting your word and keeping it for today.
I promise that the spreaders will spread, the cutters will cut, and your SCBA will still move air even if you aren't going to recover with a dip. It's going to take some time, but there will come a day where you come out of that structure, collapse to your knees, take off your hood and mask, and smile a little smile knowing that you don't want to poison yourself as a "reward" for helping someone else.
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thanks guys. its amazing how big of a help it is to have the ability to talk with people going through the same thing you are. this is all very strange to me because i never thought of using tobacco as an addiction, well the kind that you would have a support group and say Hi, my name is Jesse and im addicted to Skoal.
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It's good to see you posting. You've already done WAAAY more than most people are willing to do ... you've made it a few days (about 4 or 5 by my count). There are some really rough spots in the road ahead, but I believe you're through the absolute worst. Keep remembering the last few days, and how you felt ... so you can remember that you never want to go through them again.
Now be proud of what you've done, and set your mind firmly on keeping your quit going! Let's show the rest of the country how Kansans keep on quitting!
--cB
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Welcome,
I am also a Firefighter EMT. I, like you used to keep a can in my bunkers. It was like a reward for a job well done. That shit is like the plague in my dept. I bet at least half the guys dip. Keep up the good work!
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
What a bunch of Fucking bullshit. Looking back on that hiatus (because that's what it ended up being) I was missing one key thing. It's easy to say all of the right words in your introduction, but if you're lacking an ultimate hatred towards nicotine and everything it stands for, then the "I want to do this for my family" or "for my health" lines are just words. You have to hate the bitch so much that when you walk into your favorite gas station, on your shittiest day, the gigantic rack of chemically infused death in a can should either make you so Fucking sick you want to puke or so Fucking pissed that you want to punch babies in the face and club baby seals to death. This is not a lust worthy relationship. This is a divorce and the bitch has stolen everything that is precious to you; your time, your relationships, and your money. If any part of you still loves to dip, you will fail. You have to hate it and the hold it has and will continue to have on you. My Silverback brothers, I'm blessed beyond words to have you guys. 25 year old me, you were a Fucking dipshit and full of lame ass excuses. 32 year old me, you are a BAQ. Don't throw that away.
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
What a bunch of Fucking bullshit. Looking back on that hiatus (because that's what it ended up being) I was missing one key thing. It's easy to say all of the right words in your introduction, but if you're lacking an ultimate hatred towards nicotine and everything it stands for, then the "I want to do this for my family" or "for my health" lines are just words. You have to hate the bitch so much that when you walk into your favorite gas station, on your shittiest day, the gigantic rack of chemically infused death in a can should either make you so Fucking sick you want to puke or so Fucking pissed that you want to punch babies in the face and club baby seals to death. This is not a lust worthy relationship. This is a divorce and the bitch has stolen everything that is precious to you; your time, your relationships, and your money. If any part of you still loves to dip, you will fail. You have to hate it and the hold it has and will continue to have on you. My Silverback brothers, I'm blessed beyond words to have you guys. 25 year old me, you were a Fucking dipshit and full of lame ass excuses. 32 year old me, you are a BAQ. Don't throw that away.
Hey jesse proud to call you a true friend! You are truly a stand up guy. If I'm having a bad day I can get on group me and all you guy's make me laugh and forget any problems or cravings. I know you will conquer this you have the will power and all us damn silverbacks supporting you! Besides don't want the olé man whooping your little young ass! Quit long, quit strong! Damn proud to be quit with you jesse! Thanks!
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Fireman HOF!
Congratulations man, lets do another 100!
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
What a bunch of Fucking bullshit. Looking back on that hiatus (because that's what it ended up being) I was missing one key thing. It's easy to say all of the right words in your introduction, but if you're lacking an ultimate hatred towards nicotine and everything it stands for, then the "I want to do this for my family" or "for my health" lines are just words. You have to hate the bitch so much that when you walk into your favorite gas station, on your shittiest day, the gigantic rack of chemically infused death in a can should either make you so Fucking sick you want to puke or so Fucking pissed that you want to punch babies in the face and club baby seals to death. This is not a lust worthy relationship. This is a divorce and the bitch has stolen everything that is precious to you; your time, your relationships, and your money. If any part of you still loves to dip, you will fail. You have to hate it and the hold it has and will continue to have on you. My Silverback brothers, I'm blessed beyond words to have you guys. 25 year old me, you were a Fucking dipshit and full of lame ass excuses. 32 year old me, you are a BAQ. Don't throw that away.
Hey jesse proud to call you a true friend! You are truly a stand up guy. If I'm having a bad day I can get on group me and all you guy's make me laugh and forget any problems or cravings. I know you will conquer this you have the will power and all us damn silverbacks supporting you! Besides don't want the olé man whooping your little young ass! Quit long, quit strong! Damn proud to be quit with you jesse! Thanks!
I love it!
Been preaching that my whole time...We have to see the poison for what it really is! When we do, there isn't a reason on earth to put Liquid Drano or Nicotine in our mouth, period
Thank you for inspiring me Today.
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Hey all-
im jesse, 25, and a firefighter/EMT soon to be paramedic from kansas. I just finished up the last of a 2 year paramedic program and dip became my biggest crutch throughout those two years. It was nice the night before that big test when im up until 0200 studying to put that big dip of Skoal in and keep on going. Not to mention to fight that blazing house fire that lasts for 6+ hours, or that car wreck and have the comfort of the can in my bunker pants. But like one of the guys in my HOF group said, i had spent 2 years furthering my education on saving people's lives and all along the stuff i was relying on was slowly killing me. Talk about irony... Being in the line of work im in i get to deal with the "tweakers" mainly the meth heads, and it always baffles me what they will put into their body. Anything under the kitchen sink really. And then two nights ago, a fellow fireman told me that he had quit. When i had asked why he said that he had just looked at they put in chew, and it scared him so bad that he quit right then. He got ready to tell me and I stopped him, because I wanted to wait until after my state paramedic test next month. Two hours went by with me thinking about what could possibly be in there. Couldn't be that bad right? Ive been dipping for years and I dont have any problems, right? So curiousity got the best of me and I asked him, and when he told me my heart sank. Because what I had been looking down on meth heads for putting into their body, I was putting some of those same ingredients into mine. I have a wonderful finacee whom Im going to marry in April of 09. We dont have any kids yet, but I dont want them to be scared of their father because he has half a jaw, or even worse leave them all behind. Like i've said im only going on my 3rd day quit, and Im not even close to you guys who are 100+ but everyone started somewhere, my somewhere is just now. So to everyone who has reached their 100+ or are closing upon it stay strong, and for all you guys like me who are just starting, the worst is yet to come but hang in there. And for you Skoal, 'Finger' ....
What a bunch of Fucking bullshit. Looking back on that hiatus (because that's what it ended up being) I was missing one key thing. It's easy to say all of the right words in your introduction, but if you're lacking an ultimate hatred towards nicotine and everything it stands for, then the "I want to do this for my family" or "for my health" lines are just words. You have to hate the bitch so much that when you walk into your favorite gas station, on your shittiest day, the gigantic rack of chemically infused death in a can should either make you so Fucking sick you want to puke or so Fucking pissed that you want to punch babies in the face and club baby seals to death. This is not a lust worthy relationship. This is a divorce and the bitch has stolen everything that is precious to you; your time, your relationships, and your money. If any part of you still loves to dip, you will fail. You have to hate it and the hold it has and will continue to have on you. My Silverback brothers, I'm blessed beyond words to have you guys. 25 year old me, you were a Fucking dipshit and full of lame ass excuses. 32 year old me, you are a BAQ. Don't throw that away.
I totally read this whole thread without looking at the dates.
LOL Quit on MFER
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Good thread in terms of realizing none of us can quit until we want to.