KillTheCan.org Accountability Forum
Community => Introductions => Topic started by: Jaymodill on August 31, 2011, 11:14:00 PM
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Everything was normal when I woke up this morning. No clue, or plan that this was going to happen. I dipped for 19 years. Took my normal "commute to work" dip and about halfway in - something in my brain just said "WHAT THE F@#$ ARE YOU DOING, You are killing yourself and your kids are going to grow up without a father!"
So I can't count days, but I am now 16 hours 7 minutes into freedom. The anxiety hit me after about 6 hours - just plain terror. Now I am shoving bubble gum in my bottom lip like a crack fiend trying to smoke baking powder, but no more nicotine. No Nic Gum, No Patches - I just can't go through this again. This sucks! Thanks for all of the posters who say it gets a lot better - not easier, just better. For now, I'll take your word for it.
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One day at a time, one day at a time. Aside from reading everything on this site, every single post, that is the best advice I can give you at the 27 day mark. Any time i start thinking about forever or long term, the cravings and mind games drive me nuts. Think about today and only today. Commit to not chewing today. You can do that. Then, tomorrow, deal with tomorrow. But for today, commit to not chewing. Take this one day at a time. You will quickly find that the days get easier and easier, with minor bumps along the way. With all of the pain, you will be surprised that a lot of good comes your way too. Freeing yourself from the nic bitch has a lot of hidden treasures, not the least of which is feeling that you can do it and may actually live long enough to grow old with your wife and see your kids grow up. That is powerful stuff. You get more and more of it, one day at a time.
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Congratulations on you decision to quit!!
This site is great if you are serious about quitting. All we ask is that you post roll every morning, making a promise that you will not use nicotine for that day. We don't look at forever, just one day at a time, sometime hour by hour or minute by minute. What ever it takes to get through the day. All we have here is our honor and our word to a ton of people that have walked down the same road and are fighting the same fight. But we are all here to help and support each other. We do get very offended and upset if people don't take their quit seriously. We work hard to say quit and we expect you to do the same.
First thing you need to do is read everything you can on this site. Go to the welcome center and it will tell you everything you need to know about posting roll and stuff.
You then need to get active on the site, get to know people. Get phone numbers so you can have people to call or text when the going gets tough, and it will get tough. You need all the numbers you can get, of veterans and newbies in your quit group. Then you watch out for each other. Watch each others backs and hold each other accountable.
Remember, dipping is a choice, you either choose to do it or you don't. The road is tough and I know I never want to go through that first week of quitting ever again. I'm on day 68 being nicotine free after 30 yrs of using. I know I will never put the shit in my mouth again. I am an nicotine addict, one dip and I will be hooked so I will stay clean one day at a time.
If you want my number private message me and I'll give it too you. I will be more than happy to support you and hold you accountable.
Stay strong and don't let the nic Bitch beat you!
Toni
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One day at a time, one day at a time. Aside from reading everything on this site, every single post, that is the best advice I can give you at the 27 day mark. Any time i start thinking about forever or long term, the cravings and mind games drive me nuts. Think about today and only today. Commit to not chewing today. You can do that. Then, tomorrow, deal with tomorrow. But for today, commit to not chewing. Take this one day at a time. You will quickly find that the days get easier and easier, with minor bumps along the way. With all of the pain, you will be surprised that a lot of good comes your way too. Freeing yourself from the nic bitch has a lot of hidden treasures, not the least of which is feeling that you can do it and may actually live long enough to grow old with your wife and see your kids grow up. That is powerful stuff. You get more and more of it, one day at a time.
Congrats on quitting. Great decision coming here.
Post roll call in the december group. It is your promise that you will not use tobacco or nicotine for the day. We do this every morning, every day.
I also recomend reading the Kerns family story, really touching.
If you have not read the welcome center (pink link on the top), do so and learn more about the site
Shoot me a pm if you need anything or have any questions
Proud to be quit with you.
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I am waiting for you to post up. Lets make this happen
'Popcorn'
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Jay,
Great Choice! Get with the program. Post roll first every day and make your promise not to use. Then exchange numbers with people on this site. Then use the site to help you quit.
Post roll FIRST. We can help you quit.
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I am waiting for you to post up. Lets make this happen
'Popcorn'
Yep.... me too. Where's that "Day 2" post? Here, I'll even make it easy for you...
December HOF Roll call (http://forum.killthecan.org/index.php?showtopic=5162)
The pink "WELCOME CENTER" link at the top left of this page will tell you the rest.
Get on over there, post your quit day, get to know the quitters over there, and get some numbers for support. All it takes is a PM. Reach out if you need help. I'm from the December 2010 GUARD group, and my brothers from there are standing by to help anyway we can. You can do this. We will help.
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im on day 2 in december group and im fighting a constant urge .. Im probably no help at this point but im right beside ya brother ... I just keep reminding myself why im doing this why its good for me why i cant fail its not an option .... keep it up !
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I'm in the shit with ya man!!!!!
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So Day 2 has been miserable. I am in the fog, but mainly dealing with uncontrollable anxiety. Fear that I am too late, fear that I won't make the 100 days 'cause I don't even have a 100 days left --- Crazy thoughts!! Then cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes. I feel more like someone they show on tv trying to come off of heroin than someone quitting the chew. My brain telling me this isn't normal, that I am doomed. There is one thing for sure. If this is what happens during nicotine withdrawal, I will never, ever, ever pick this stuff up again. You guys have nothing to worry about me falling off the wagon.
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So Day 2 has been miserable. I am in the fog, but mainly dealing with uncontrollable anxiety. Fear that I am too late, fear that I won't make the 100 days 'cause I don't even have a 100 days left --- Crazy thoughts!! Then cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes. I feel more like someone they show on tv trying to come off of heroin than someone quitting the chew. My brain telling me this isn't normal, that I am doomed. There is one thing for sure. If this is what happens during nicotine withdrawal, I will never, ever, ever pick this stuff up again. You guys have nothing to worry about me falling off the wagon.
I know what makes it easier to quit. Posting roll! Try it and see if you agree.
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So Day 2 has been miserable. I am in the fog, but mainly dealing with uncontrollable anxiety. Fear that I am too late, fear that I won't make the 100 days 'cause I don't even have a 100 days left --- Crazy thoughts!! Then cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes. I feel more like someone they show on tv trying to come off of heroin than someone quitting the chew. My brain telling me this isn't normal, that I am doomed. There is one thing for sure. If this is what happens during nicotine withdrawal, I will never, ever, ever pick this stuff up again. You guys have nothing to worry about me falling off the wagon.
You can't do this on your own!! Post roll and get connected with the December group. Making your promise to your fellow quitters and keeping your word is what will keep you on "the wagon." You're not gonna be able to hang on by yourself.
Take my word for it . . . .
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Come On jaymodill, join the December group. I'm in it early too, shitty but better day 3 is better than day 2. we will all stay motivated and beat this poison each day.
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So Day 2 has been miserable. I am in the fog, but mainly dealing with uncontrollable anxiety. Fear that I am too late, fear that I won't make the 100 days 'cause I don't even have a 100 days left --- Crazy thoughts!! Then cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes. I feel more like someone they show on tv trying to come off of heroin than someone quitting the chew. My brain telling me this isn't normal, that I am doomed. There is one thing for sure. If this is what happens during nicotine withdrawal, I will never, ever, ever pick this stuff up again. You guys have nothing to worry about me falling off the wagon.
Only think about today. Only think about not chewing today. It will get better fast, just don't let your mind stray to thoughts beyond today. Chew bubble gum, drink tons of water, exercise, do anything you need to in order to get through today. Then do it all over tomorrow and you'll see life improving rapidly.
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You should put anything in your mouth besides cancer candy. But if you don't post roll I'm going to tell you to shove a giant veiny cock in there you big candy ass. Now step up to the mic and sing it loud. "I quit". Now say it with some other quitters in December. "I quit".
Post Roll.
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I'm glad to see a roll post. I no longer want you to ingest man juice.
I quit with you.
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Thanks Souli! I saw one of your posts that said something that really struck me. You said something to the effect of You just spent the last x number of years killing yourself daily, you quit only once --- Revel in it!
That turned my crappy day 2 around. I will now rejoice in day 2!
Thank you!
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So Day 2 has been miserable. I am in the fog, but mainly dealing with uncontrollable anxiety. Fear that I am too late, fear that I won't make the 100 days 'cause I don't even have a 100 days left --- Crazy thoughts!! Then cold sweats, hot sweats, shakes. I feel more like someone they show on tv trying to come off of heroin than someone quitting the chew. My brain telling me this isn't normal, that I am doomed. There is one thing for sure. If this is what happens during nicotine withdrawal, I will never, ever, ever pick this stuff up again. You guys have nothing to worry about me falling off the wagon.
Well, this IS what happens during nicotine withdrawal, to everyone who quits. I remember being afraid I was going to have a heart attack (of course, nobody ever does). And the dreams I had, they were just horrifying, and I usually sleep great and dream of orgies and giant cicadas and stuff.
Typical withdrawal stuff, just grit your teeth and hang on, you'll get through it just fine. Post roll every day and promise me you won't use nicotine. That's all I ask.
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Thanks Gump! Just knowing I am not alone helps get me through right now. And THIS right now is much better than the last right now.
Thank you!
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Jay -
You got some badass quitters supporting you in here, and some new guys just throwing themselves at your feet. You're here because you need help. If you could do it yourself you would have. Listed to the vets. Connect with the newbies - they are the ones who know what you're going through WHEN you're going through it. That's so critical.
Day two is over. get to day three. That's all. Go back and look at what Seagems wrote when you first posted. One day at a time.
All we ask is that you make your promise TODAY. We dont' care about tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't exist. You don't care about tomorrow. Quit for you today. That's it.
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I'm glad to see a roll post. I no longer want you to ingest man juice.
Wait just a dang minute here! What kinda quit group is this? I thought we were fighting nicotine. :huh: :huh:
Couln't let that one slide by, Soul. Carry on...
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Ok, so day 5 is coming to a wrap. Today was one of the tougher days, the mind games seem to have started. I haven't battled much in the way of cravings - a little here and there.
For me today was about guilt, shame of what I spent my life doing and intense fear that the changes I am making to my life are too late. It's just crazy how when I was under the nic bitch's control I really never thought too much about what it was doing to me. I guess I just thought that I was going to do it until I die. Now, this is how I feel 'bang head'
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Ok, so day 5 is coming to a wrap. Today was one of the tougher days, the mind games seem to have started. I haven't battled much in the way of cravings - a little here and there.
For me today was about guilt, shame of what I spent my life doing and intense fear that the changes I am making to my life are too late.Jay
Day 5 is done for me as well Jay. I have also done okay in the craving dept but am averaging 5 to 6 hours of sleep so far. Every once in awhile, the bitch hits me but I get busy doing something. Its never too late to change because what's the alternative? Accept defeat and move on? Fuck that bro. We are here and doing this for a reason. I am at azchief32@mac.com (http://mailto:azchief32@mac.com) if you need to write it all down and send it. I am at 520-906-0169 if you feel yourself caving (like that shit is going to happen).
Eric